#sorry this is kinda inconclusive but i'm just feeling overwhelmed

[shellxrls]

babe r u okay we haven’t seen you for ages :/

SORRY NONNIE. i feel like i shld do a clarification post cuz i've gotten a few asks and i feel kinda bad for leaving u guys in the dark 😭. i've just been putting this off cuz i've been tired and stressed coupled with other reasons (that i'll explain) that make me not want to publicly interact on this blog:

recently i've noticed such a large uprise in hate on this app (ranging from pro-israel/anti-palestine posts to mutuals outside of my fandoms being called aggressive slurs to ppl within the obx fandom consistently expressing opinions of dislike and resentment to authors for simply writing what they want) - also largely made up of anon asks with the foundation of racial or sexuality based hate (which i won't go into depth ab but ppl definitely pick and choose who to send hate to based on those factors - pisses me the fuck off more than anything bcuz i don't come on this app to be bombarded with racism and reminders of my racial perception in this world, regardless of whether its directed at me or mutuals).

another thing, (which ik has been said forever but continues to remain important), the lack of support and interaction for/with writers on this app is definitely very discouraging. i no longer feel supported by the community i've created and the truth is i need that interaction to keep writing and engage my motivation otherwise i feel like what i'm doing on this app is pointless.

no one logs onto this app to listen to me rant ab personal issues, and so i wont' go into extensive detail - but i've consistently used tumblr to escape my personal life, and the burdens and stress that come with. ofc i'm a writer, but wayyy beyond that this is intended to be my safe space where i can enjoy and simply be myself and let go of personal stress as well as interact happily w like-minded ppl. due to this, i've made an effort to take time out of my own life and duties to write and to interact because of the community. recently however i find myself more and more anxious to even open the app and look at my notifs, and whenever i do open the app i make myself feel bad by comparing myself to other writers - which is completely normal occasionally, but at this point its not as easy to shake considering all the factors listed above. its unfortunate to say but it simply hasn't felt worth it to be on this app and interact for while now for me.

before anyone says i'm being too sensitive or its my sole purpose to write - pls remember that this is entirely my blog, i can choose what my motivations are for being on this app and its not a stretch to kindly ask for more in terms of stopping hate and simply being more supportive if u do genuinely like an author and their works.

ultimately i've been both a fan/reader and a writer on this app for multiple years atp, i can understand both perspectives but i've honestly never felt this disconnected and upset ab a blog before. I understand that not everyone is to blame, and i'm sorry to those who've been kind & active supporters, but my public interactions have been limited and may continue to be bcuz i feel v unsure & stagnant atm.

the only 'exception' to this is my mutuals, i love them all obv and their works, & so i'm continuing to interact w them as per normal, and so i am active on the app & i'm definitely not entirely gone by any means. if anything i just need a few more days to reconsider, but we'll see.

[shakaxmoon]

Gerita and Prumano

my dear anon!!! your mind is wide and vast like the universe, and deep like the ocean. thank you for the prompts. sorry it took me so long, real life + uni work have been kicking my ass lately. that being said, i HAVE A LOT TO TALK ABOUT REGARDING THESE FOUR. this might be a bit long...

Yep. I know. It's complicated...

Obviously I have working eyeballs and these two have great chemistry and I do ship it, but only under certain conditions and it comes and goes. It's undeniable that there's something between them, but for me, I personally don't think it should be romantic (but it can be, and depending on my mood sometimes I watch some videos and I squeal like the 14 yr old brainrotten hetalian I used to be (good times). THEY ARE SO CUTE MAN. THE YOUTUBE COMPILATIONS LEAVE ME BRAIN ROTTEN ON THE FLOOR. The sugar high, it killed my poor brain cells. I love fluffy ships so this is a good thing. There are just so many different dynamics with them. You have the comedic potential alone, which the official material explores very well, you have the friendship, you have the childhood-friend-turned-lover trope (if you believe HRE=Germany), you have the oH GOD HE WENT TO WAR AND NEVER CAME BACK AAAAAA (tragic and traumatizing but a lot of fun to read, so juicy), you have the incompetent-lazy-ass VS hard-worker-serious-guy, you have ...and then you have Germany proposing to Italy?!!? Yeah. That one was kinda weird to me. I'm still trying to understand what exactly Himaruya meant by that strip. On one hand it's obviously indicative of sth going on that's beyond mere deep friendship, on the other... the way Italy reacted was very inconclusive. (understandable bestie, being proposed randomly by your co-worker/boss/best-friend is a little overwhelming). Did he turn Germany down? Is it more like a "I turn you down now but maybe it can happen later, timing was not right" type of deal? Or is it "shit man you have all these feelings and Idk what to do with them???"? And so since his answer is so ??? I don't know what to do with that either. But, if you want my opinion, I don't think he's in love with Germany... at least not has smitten as Germany is. :( Maybe it's one of those cases where it can grow. (I'd be interested to read that, if anyone has recs, hmu). So idk, since Italy doesn't seem excited about that particular instance, I'm a little skeptical. BUT, that being said, that strip is one against the hundreds of others that feature them acting like a cute little couple, so I'm still confused, but I'm not against it. Sometimes I don't like Gerita because honestly, it's a little predictable and stale. I already know their dynamic very well and it doesn't fascinate me. It's cute, but that's it. Even the angst is something I'm very used to. Perhaps if they were written differently sometimes but I'll admit I rarely read fanfic for them anymore, if I do it has to have a very interesting premise and most of the time it doesn't work for me. Unfortunately I cling faster to new ideas than things I already know, which leads us to Prumano down below. Another thing is... I'm just not very big on Germany as a character? The more I read about him, however, the more I understand that the stereotype is really just that, and he's actually got a lot more going on under the surface. The stereotype is extremely off-putting to me, however, and that's why I haven't gone deeper. It's slowly changing, I think. Overall, I can see reasons for all of their different dynamics, including HRE-Chibitalia (something I might talk about later), but I don't actively ship it. Sometimes I do watch youtube compilations of them, however, and it's very soothing for the soul. The comedy is impeccable and that alone is worth it lol. A character like Italy really needs a foil like Germany to work at full power, they really compliment each other in that sense. For me their relationship reads as platonic, a very deep friendship, but I'm not opposed to seeing them written as a bg couple. Now, onto the chaotic bitches...

I NEVER WOULD HAVE DREAMED OF SHIPPING THIS, tbh. But here we are. I love them. They’re beautiful and their dynamic melts my heart.  On one hand I was like ??????, but the curiosity won and I ended up checking out a few fanfics and strips and oh boy I was not ready. That strip where Prussia finds Romano in a dumpster, on a rainy day (the most depressing scenario ever), crying his eyes out (like I said) because he didn’t get a movie role (my poor baby), and Prussia rushing in like a fucking knight in shining armour to not only tell him it’s gonna be alright, but also that he’ll make the movie with him so he can feel better????? (make of that what you will lmao)  BEAUTIFUL, SHOW STOPPING, WHAT’S THIS IN MY EYE YOU ASK? OH, IT’S SWEAT. ;_; That scene was too adorable for me. Romano desperately needs someone (like Spain, who I also ship him with but in different canons, obvs) to be consistent and dependable when it comes to showing affection. My boy’s got abandonment issues galore and an inferiority complex the size of the Colosseo to boot. I love him so much and I think Prussia does too (isn’t it canon that he’s as fond of Romano as he is of Italy? I know he only asked Italy out, but idk, my man has two eyes, he can look at them both...) 

He makes Romano laugh (very important bc he’s a grumpy ass bitch most of the time) and honestly Romano seems to not only tolerate him but also admire him (see: those strips where he runs around like a crusader, influenced by Prussia’s stories lol). Which is even better when you think about how much Romanito goes on about Germans this and Germans that... Him falling for a Germanic nation is just funny af. Prussia is also seen checking him out in one strip I think, when he’s working at America’s house barefoot and he asks Romano about his shoes. He’s teasing him, but he’s also genuinely concerned.  They make me very soft haha, sorry about that. And I know this reason is weird, but the fact that they’re both the “outcast” older brother (Romano obviously dealing with it a lot worse; I think Gilbert doesn’t care, until he breaks down one day and he does) really gets to me. Two men left in the shadows that come together in the shadows but become each other’s fucking morning sun? Have all my money. (Oh, did I mention that they’re both old, tired and broken? It’s a feast in here, ladies and gentlethems.) There have been a few fanworks exploring the moment when the unified Italies dissolve and become only one (spoiler: it’s Veneziano who lives ;__;) and the fact that in the canon Prussia has kinda gone through a similar thing before makes them very relatable. I think they would have relatable angst to bond over, tbh, but maybe I’m wrong! I want to read more of them when I have time. 

They also work well as good friends. Idk, the two of them seem to have compatible personalities and similar life circumstances to bond over. I really like them! Thanks for asking!!! We should do this more often, it’s fun!!! (sorry for the length but I talk a lot lol!!)