#sorry this post ended up kinda disjoined

[kara-knuckles]

I find a lot of Ines portrayals in a more intimate context kinda frustrating, because if you don't ship Wines you are accused of being a homophobe/think W is a kid/just don't like W, while some HoeInes shippers don't think too hard about how this relationship works, and Ascalon/Ines is nonexistent outside of my head. And don't even get me started on the horny dudes and their delusions…

With the new chapter potentially adding another person to her harem, I decided to just write down the aspects I think are important in a relationship with Ines. TLDR: she is a pretty uncompromising girlfriend who needs a lot of space to herself, so most people would find her either too distant or too controlling.

The most obvious obstacle for a relationship would be her ability to perceive people's intent. Ines's profile emphasizes that trust is incredibly important to her, however, that goes both ways. In general, trust is one of the most important things in a relationship, and that includes letting your partner keep their secrets. Not everyone would be comfortable dating someone with inbuilt lie detector, even if they don't have anything to hide. And, of course, if they are unsatisfied with her for some reason, they can't hide it either.

And it's not like Ines would intentionally spy on her partner; if anything, I think her display of trust would be keeping a bit of a distance between them. The thing is, she likely could use her Arts from birth (as is typical for a Leithanian) and she spent most of her life anticipating danger. She is someone who scans her surroundings the moment she wakes up (we see it in DM), not using her Arts at all may feel like sensory deprivation (Hoederer noticed she wasn't using Arts during their stay at Babel, which suggests there were some oddities in her behavior). She probably needs to do some scans for the peace of mind, so her partner needs to be open-minded enough to accept occasional violations of their privacy.

This is why I think setting boundaries is very important for Ines. Not only to establish her own, but also for her to know how close is too close for her partner's comfort. She doesn't want to know too much, so if her partner consents to let her use her Arts or openly warns her when she oversteps, she would appreciate it.

Another problem with her Arts (and Oripathy) is how it affects her health. I think, people underestimate how debilitating worsening vision can get. As someone who experienced temporary loss of central vision (aka reverse tunnel vision), I can attest that she would need someone who would not only be ready to take care of her, but also be someone she would trust to do it unconditionally. It is embarrassing when you struggle with or can't do at all even the most simple tasks, and with Ines's temperament I'm sure it would feel outright humiliating.

At the same time, for all the comments they are sure to receive, she wouldn't mind taking care of her partner. She knows they would do it for her, so it is only natural to do the same for them. However, she would only go as far as she expects the other person to go for her, since for her it is a form of payback. She would find people who expect others to care for them without offering the same in return annoying, so all the guys screaming "mommy!" at her every picture can go fuck themselves.

Then there are her complicated feelings towards her race. Whether you read it as a foreigner trying to become a native or as a trans allegory, I believe it is important for her to feel accepted. Ines calls herself a Sarkaz mercenary, yet she struggles with accepting herself as a Sarkaz (like when she tells Scout she isn't one), but at the same time it gets to her when people don't consider her one (W in DM, half the people she meets in chapter 12). As a result, this topic is kind of a minefield for anyone who would try to get closer to her, since they would need to be careful not only with the acknowledgement, but also with the compliments, and just generally have a good understanding of her perspective.

One other thing I see being mentioned by some shippers and dudebros is how they think her idea of having fun with a partner involves shittalking and just generally being a bitch. The thing is, Ines actually likes being left alone. Yes, she is normally very assertive, but her trust tap shows she enjoys quiet company and her sewing hobby suggests she prefers staying in-door doing her own stuff. And before anyone gets a wrong idea, I'm not saying she would suddenly turn demure in a more intimate situation, I simply think that she is actually a quieter person in private, and that she would prefer a partner who can respect that. Considering her abilities and line of work, she accumulates a lot of anxiety and stress, so it is important for her to find some quiet corner without anyone to annoy her to relax.

Finally, she would value stability. Her concern is about "now"; she tells Paprika that she believes in concrete things like eating when you are hungry, but as a mercenary even something as simple as having enough food isn't a given. It is important to have an anchor in the turbulent world of constant war, however, with how skilled Ines is, she would have rather high standards for people she can rely on.