#sorry to disappoint fellas HAHAH

[totallynotamarshmallow]

me watching people like my staticradio piece: they do not know i also selfship with the tv... 😈

[beananacake]

hiii I'm the anon that was being curious! well I am a newer fans of Richard if I could be honest with you!

I remember saw him at the marvel san diego comic con panel 2019 during the whole marvel cast being photographed together. do you remember when he walked to the stage? oh when I saw him I freaked out. I even texted my friend saying, "oh this richard madden guy is not so bad himself 👀" as weird as this may sound but I love the way stand. I can not pint point what is it but my eyes glued to him.

look I have watched Cinderella (2015) couple years ago but the only memory that I had from watching it is I couldn't bear seeing the treatment that Cinderella got from her step family despite the whole happy ending. I am not the type to watch movies twice either. although have heard the Cinderella story countless of time since childhood, I just remember being so angry and couldn't care less about the romance lol I think my anger indicated how good the acting was being done by the cast, right?

anyway, I am just like you girl! I was a much bigger fans of henry cavill first. so I merely thought richard was just a good looking fella. oh boy was I wrong!

I decided to watch the bodyguard and I was astounded by his performance! I rarely binge watch tv show/movies but yet I spent 6 hours watching bodyguard non-stop! (oh I was so smitten let me tell you)

after that I did watch his interview, read article about him. I was so disappointed of myself how I just realised what a gentleman and a sweetheart he is! his dedication to his role also wowed me. he is far more than just a good looking actor.

I watched bodyguard just the night before I watched the Eternals. I went to the theatre with my friend, my friend teased me by saying I didn't even blink when I saw Ikaris was on the screen lol. I experienced a lot of my "🎶wildest dream🎶" at that time hahaha and a lot of "goodness me his accent!"

my friend and I was being so noisy about Ikaris that my other friends had to scold us and told us to keep it down hahaha!

and the night after I watched Eternals he appeared on my dream that doesn't help with my new obsession hahah. and here I am now! reading fanfiction about him

oops sorry that was a long one. sorry I got carried away! thank you for reading all the way through <3 (before I end this, he always look so shy when people compliment him ahhh he is the best. and oh boy didn't he handle the thirst tweet well 👀)

Look, there's something so irresistible about brown-haired, blue-eyed guys so I totally get ya! Lucky you for seeing Richard at SDCC! I haven't been on any comic cons yet and if there were some here in Canada, they costs so much and you don't get the big celebrities like Richard :((

Honestly, Richard is so underrated! He acts his heart out and he doesn't get much recognition for it. I was so happy he got a Golden Globes award for his role in Bodyguard and that had paved the way for bigger roles for him! And yes, while I love his work, Bodyguard is my favorite! He just embodies his roles perfectly. The first few minutes of episode 1, I had to pause it because it was so stressful even to me. He brought David Budd to life.

They should remake his thirst tweets! I love how he read them!!

[otomeduck]

Today will be better :) im still feeling kinda messed up and all, but more refreshed compared to yesterday where i was a complete wreck. Bless. i don’t know how to use tumblr lmao and use the “see more” function so ok. if uall are not fond of shitposts about life uall can speedily scroll through this. it’s a compiled list of rants LOL

Although i still feel scared and shitty that my math is so bad, i will try not to let that worry inhibit me from enjoying myself haha. I was such a mess yesterday lolol I couldn’t even express myself. I have 8 drafts on tumblr I couldn’t bring myself to post bc I just couldn’t understand the nonsense I myself was writing lolol. My mood was so shit. But yeah hahah pasted below will be everything I wanted to post yesterday but didn’t have the balls.

I’M SO SORRY I’M ALWAYS RANTING ABT LIFE AND STUFF. Idk why I’m such an angsty fella as well LOL i feel sad that you guys have to follow someone like me hahah idk if it’s even normal to feel so much angst lololol but I’m so thankful that I really have this avenue to be completely myself.

 “Aah lolol it’s so hard not to be pissed when u clearly are hahah what the efffff :((((

Im still so angry but ill try to control my temper now 😭😭 everything’s gonna be all right (hopefully)

As if trying to anger me further, my wifi is a wreck and it goes on and off while i play my otoges or am replying to someone on my whatsapp messenger. Thanks lol

😭😭😭 im so mad rn

Ugh omg lol nvm i’ll try to persevere and distract myself rn omg what the wifi has to stop freezing on me omg im so …..

Ok i need to talk and get things off my chest rn ugh i dont get whats wrong with me and thats the worst part lol usually if i know whats affecting me i can try to feel better but ya rn im a mess in the sense nothing i do seems to help and everything annoys me. Im so irritated

Im really angry like wtf i really ugh dont want to stay pissed either so idk ugh help

I blame this on math for being so annoying and impossible to do like i feel super demoralised and fed up i really hate it omg help. Everything is making me triggered and i really really want all of this vexing emotions to stop. Ugh

I dont even know where to start bc everything is pissing me off and i think the largest factor is math so maybe i should stop doing it but i will feel so disappointed in myself

I dont know what to do omg ok i really think i gonna stop doing math since it is causing me so much misery. My family is being annoying as well they need to stop making a fuss so late at night omg i cant handle this omg omg okay i need to get out of this house???

My family is so annoying they r quarrelling i hate it i dont know what to do omg okay idk anymore haha fuck lol everything is irritating idk what to do i want to move out and i think i shall?

Im so angry omg im so angry bc i dont understand why im angry and i cant comprehend my current situation at all. Im so upset bc idk how to feel better. I am pissed. Idk how to get out of this situation but whine. Im so saddened ???

I dont even know whats causing this omg and everything is noisy i need peace omg but omg omg omg im so angry i want to punch someones face. Idk what to do omg help

Help

Ugh i cant i want to hide somewhere until i feel better but idk where

Is there even anywhere

Okay

I want to chill so badly but the anger in my heart is… … ugh… omg stop omg so noisy wow omg stop stop stop ugh why cant it be peaceful????? Im in a bad mood but otoges

Lol i love my wifi it is working just fine can yall sense the sarcasm. My wifi is shit

I decided to try something new so my wifi wont be shit anymore. Blesssssss :/ May i feel less annoyed soon haha ripppppp. Lol wtf my home wifi keep having issues lmao wtf im so angry i cant? Bless my house wifi lol……. I cant with wifi anymore everything is failing me”

LOL as you guys can see, I was feeling like crap yesterday night and yeah, that didn’t feel too good. I’m pretty confident that the root cause was because of several bad news being thrown at me at once. First of all, it didn’t feel good that I was taken as a joke during my interview. Or maybe I can look at it from the perspective that they enjoyed what I said and found me funny but still. And second of all, I don’t appreciate two-faced “friends” in my life. I was so unhappy to find out that I got rejected from joining a school event (there weren’t even any interviews held)

Well there’s that, then third of all my house wifi was the worst and I couldn’t even use tumblr, my messaging app, or play my otoges basically I was really fed up. Fourth of all my parents were in chaos lol they kept bickering over the most useless things and I was really done. Fifth of all and the most major factor would be me not knowing how to do math. I felt so shitty. I had to have multiple friends teach me and I felt so bad.

Looking back, everyone’s gotta start somewhere, right? They don’t become automatically smart. In that case, it’s okay for me to start being dumb at math. i’ll just keep on improving until someday, I’ll be the one teaching someone else.

I’m feeling a bit annoyed at how although it’s a day off school today, we are given work to do at home so it doesn’t make a difference anyway. Ugh… and there is a deadline to it, we have to do our online submissions by 12pm. I’m so fed up, but it’s alright. It’s fine. I’ve said all I wanted to say, I guess. If there’s a reason why I’m not replying to y’all on tumblr message, the reason is that my life is in shambles and im not emotionally stable to make casual talk so im sorry for that K

Sigh I can’t believe I can feel so angsty but okay. Mm. … I don’t want you guys to worry about me bc I’d always like to believe that I can cope with this alone. That I can face all my troubles alone. I don’t want to be a burden to others. I know it’s wrong to be so harsh on oneself, but my unrealistic expectations of myself always get the better of me. I hate feeling this way. I really deserve healing (ironically) just like kenshin lmao. Sigh. I don’t even want to be such a scarred human being.

But it’s okay. It’s alright. I’m sure things will be better today without even batting an eyelash when I say that. Hopefully. may things get more tolerable and brighter