#sorry to ramble but ive been stewing over this all week

[sojourntime-aux]

Day 5 (August 6th): Facing Their Fears – What are your OC’s fears and failures? How do they deal with them? Have they been able to overcome them? Will they ever be able to?

Day 5 is a bit of a contrast from my day 4 stuff! Also I may have played fast and loose with the prompt for today, but I hope y'all enjoy these! @khoc-week

> Warning for implied death, or atleast characters MIA.

-----

Unravel

Tabitha wasn't supposed to be here, she knew that. She especially wasn't supposed to have discovered this.

'No.. no no no.. that can't be..' Tabitha stared at the place in her notebook where pages once had been. Now she was sure she had written something there. Entry upon entry, missing. 'Just like my memory.'

Tears welled up in Tabitha's eyes, although she wasn't quite sure why. All she knew was that her heart tugged at these flashes of memory she was having. The pictures of this someone else she seemed to know, to have spent time with, to have written about, to have.. Tabitha could barely remember her.

What else did they take from her memories? From everyone's memories? Who else did they take?

-

Betrayal

Tagen leaned on Kathrynn, the low light of her flat helping to calm his nerves. This was the most relaxed he felt in weeks.

The three of them had started their search for their missing friend only two weeks ago, after she hadn't been seen for their end of the day routine for a week. Tagen had spent days on end searching world after world, and asking everyone one he saw if they had seen her, until Tabby and Kathrynn made him stop and rest. Tagen still looked every day for their missing friend, having not given up hope she would come back.

"Do you believe she's alright?" Tagen mumbled, trying to be hopeful. Kathrynn stopped in the middle of running her fingers through his hair, almost frozen.

"W-what?" Tagen opened his eyes and lifted his head, pulling away from Kathrynn a bit. He could tell there was something wrong with her, just wasn't sure what.

"Tabitha. Do you think she's okay?"

"Um... Yeah sure, if that's what you believe..." Kathrynn glanced down, unable to look Tagen in the eye. Tagen narrowed his eyes, giving Kathrynn a distrustful look.

"Do you know something?" With those words he could see he hit a nerve. He was on his feet now, glaring at her, staring her down with anger burning in him.

"What do you know Kathrynn."

She had followed him onto his feet. She only glanced up at Tagen for moment, but long enough for him to see the overwhelming guilt written on her face.

"I-i'm sorry.." Kathrynn tried to reach out for him, but Tagen backed away. The two of them had become a lot closer over the past couple weeks, closer than they had ever been. That was gone now. Tagen drew his keyblade, wincing at the heat in his hand. He then pointed it directly at Kathrynn.

"Where. is. Tabitha."

-

Darkness

It could only be a matter of time, right? The more she thought about it, the more Kathrynn felt the claws of uncertainty within her.

'Could I already have that within me?' Perhaps Tagen's ramblings should have been put a stop. They were what probably got Tabitha. And Tagen... He gave in probably long before she could have known. 'But I should have. I should have seen it. It was right in front of me, wasn't it?'

Tagen's words still echoed within Kathrynns mind, some of them haunting her to her core, some just making her sick. She kept telling herself she had to be strong, she still had Tabby to protect. She couldn't give into all this like they had.

'But didn't I already?'

-

Loss

"Hey Tabby, you okay? You seemed a little bit lost in your head today." Tabby looked over at Tagen, who was currently helping him put away dishes before they headed up to the rooftops.

"Yes. I guess I've just got something on my mind is all. Its nothing big." Tabby said, and he put the last dish back in its place.

"Spill. Y'know you can always talk to me." Tagen turned around and leaned back against the sink, making a bit of a point that he wasn't going anywhere until Tabby talked.

"Okay... Well you ever get this feeling that your mostly just a face in the background? And not much else?" Tabby glanced over at his friend, who was giving him a look.

"Is that how you feel?"

"Sometimes.. I don't know, I guess." Tabby confessed. "I just wonder if I've made a big enough impression on the world, to be worth remembering."

~~

Tabby carried out two bowls to the table outside his house. Kathrynn still wasn't talking much, but atleast she was eating. Setting down what he was carrying, Tabby gently pushed a bowl of hot stew in front of his friend.

"Here. It's nice and hot."

"..thank you." The was usually the only response he got now.

Tabby look at the other spots at the table, that had once almost always been filled. There used to be so much chatter around their little picnic table, now it was just...silence. Kathrynn didn't even want to go up to rooftops anymore. Tabby didn't know what was wrong, he could only assume it was heartbreak for their two missing friends.

Slowly their little group had fallen apart, and Tabby couldn't help but wonder about which one of them would be next to go missing, and if he did, he would just fade into obscurity...

-ERROR-

Remember

The girl glanced back over at Tabitha, catching her staring. 

"Need something, sugar?" She asked playfully. Tabitha only blushed, shaking her head and mumbling out a small 'No.' Kathrynn and the other chuckled.

Suddenly the girl moved, making Tabitha look up again, only to gasp slightly. She was holding the heart shaped glasses out, giving them over to Tabitha. She knew Tabitha had never seen her without them, but that wasn't the purpose behind this action.

"Here sugar, take 'em. They're a little lucky in the finding things department, so maybe they'll help you find some answers." She could tell Tabitha was still a little flustered, which made the other girl smirk. She took the opportunity to slip the glasses onto Tabitha's face gently herself. 

"There. Now," She stood up and stretched, running her hand through Tabitha's fuzz. "Ive gotta turn in early, big line up for tomorrow. But I'll meet you guys here again soon, 'k?" She said, looking back over rooftops, to trying and hide her own blush now.

"Bye, see you soon." Kathrynn waved. Kathrynn had clearly picked up on what the gesture ment, or atleast the part that was important. "And Tabitha says thanks." 

"Oh I know." The other girl replied, before turning and making her way off the roof. Once she was on the ground, she glance back up at the roof top where her friends still were.

'Please. Tabitha. I'm doing something dangerous, and possibly stupid tomorrow. But it's for you. You have to remember me if anything happens.'

[bitsfordays]

Work Visits

Another part to my nurseydex children series! Ive offically deemed this Au “Things That Stop You Dreaming” and it can be found on AO3 under that title!

Enjoy Addy being cute af, plus an introduction to Bella! 

(pst, i posted this in two parts on AO3 but yall will get it all in one bc im lazy)

“Daddy, are we there?”

Derek sighed and looked at his daughter for probably the seventh time in the last 10 minutes he's been driving. This was the seventh time she asked.

“Addison, I know you have the route to the rink memorized, so I know that you know that we are literally in the arena parking lot. You don't have to antagonize me.”

Addison gave what could only be described as a shit-eating grin from her spot in the back seat. She swung her legs happily. “I know Daddy, but Papa says that I should mess with you more often. He says its funny”

Derek was going to kill his husband.

He pulled into one of the parking spots reserved for players families and shut off the car. He turned around so he could make proper eye contact with his daughter.

“Okay Addison, Papa is playing against Uncle Jack tonight. Uncle Bitty was in town already for his book tour and so he brought Bella with him and we’ll be sitting with them in the family section. Do you remember the rules for when Uncle Jack plays against Papa?”

“Boo when Papa gets checked but don't cheer if someone on Uncle Jacks team gets checked, unless it's by Papa.” Addison explained neatly.

“Anything else?”Derek prompted.

“Don't curse?”

Derek couldn't help but laugh. Addison had learned her fair share of curse words, despite only being 6 years old. It's what happened when a child had an uncle whose name was literally Shitty.

“Not quite, lovely but that's a good one. I was actually going for ‘don't heckle Uncle Jack.’ He needs to stay concentrated on the game ”

“Oh.” Addison shrugged her little shoulders. “I can do that. Can we go inside now?”

Derek laughed. “Yes, Addy. We can.”

They got out of the car and made their way inside, not even bothering to wave their passes at the security guards, who they knew by name and had for years now. They went to their seats in the family section, directly behind the glass and found their family already there.

“Bella!” Addison tore her hand from Derek's and ran to greet her best friend/pseudo-cousin. They hugged tightly in the way that only young kids could.

Bella was a year older than Addison but that didn't stop them from being as thick as thieves. They lived three hours apart so they didn't see each other often but they adored each other just the same. Bella was more soft spoken than Addison was,

“Nursey!” Bitty grinned and pulled Derek into a tight hug.

“Hey Bits.” Derek laughed and hugged the other man back, just as tight. “How was the book tour?”

“Oh, you would not believe...”Bitty launched into a story about his time touring for his newest cookbook and Derek let his thoughts drift as Bitty rambled on.

“Oh, there they are!” Bella interrupted her father, pointing down at the ice as the players skated on for warm ups.

Jack and Will  were both easy to spot. Even from under his helmet, Will’s ginger hair was easy to spot, just as Jacks distinctive blue eyes were easy to spot behind his face guard.

“Papa!” Addison jumped up and down in front of the glass and waved her arms furiously. “Papa! Papa, over here!”

Derek could see Will’s grin from the other side of the ice. Will waved at his daughter, who waved back energetically. Derek could see Jack’s shoulders shake as he laughed and saw Jacks mouth move in some chirp. Will grinned and said something back before they skated their separate ways to warm up with their teams.

Addison kept waving her arms, trying to catch her father's attention again until Derek had to put a stop to it. “Add,let Papa warm up in peace. You dont want to throw him off his game, do you?”

“Its preseason, Daddy, it doesn't effect the season.” Addison responded, not looking away from the ice. Bitty chuckled from his seat.

“Addison. Leave him be until after the game, okay? Then you can harass him as much as you want.”

“Fiiiiiineeeee.” Addison backed away from the glass and sat down between Derek and Bella with a pout but Derek couldn't help but chuckle. There were times where he wanted to do the same thing.

Addison kept pouting and Derek took pity on her. “Hey Addy, how about you tell Uncle Bitty how your skating classes have been going? Im sure he would love to hear about them.”

Addison perked up immediately and Derek smiled.

This was going to be a good evening.

Rangers beat the Falconers 4-3, with Dex getting the game winning goal at the end of the 3rd period. Jack clapped Will on the shoulder during the handshaking and from the stands, Derek could see him say something and Will laughed before they both went on to shake more hands.  

They met Dex outside of the Rangers locker room. He was sweaty and gross but he still beamed when he saw his husband and daughter. It made Dereks heart do flips, the same way it did when they met in college.

“Papa!” Addison tore her hand from Dereks and did a flying leap towards her father. Will dropped his hockey bag to open his arms as his daughter slammed into his chest. “Hi Papa! You played really good tonight!”

“Thanks baby.” Will hugged her tightly. “Did you enjoy watching the game with Uncle Bitty and Bella?”

“Yeah! Did you know Bella is taking figure skating classes? Im gonna have her show me all the stuff shes learning there and Ill teach her everything Im learning in my hockey skating class!”

“Thats wonderful, Addy-Girl.” Will smiled. He set her down and looked over at Derek. “Hey babe. Did you enjoy the game?”

“You know I did.” Derek smiled and kissed Will on the cheek. “Nice check on Jack during the 2nd. Had him rattled for a second there.”

Will shrugged. “He got me back in the 3rd, twice as hard. I felt my brain rattle.”

Derek frowned. “How's your head?”

“It's fine, Der. They got me all checked out and I'm fine.”

“Good. I like you better with your brain intact.”

“Same.”

“Quit being gross!” Addison jabbed Will in the leg to get his attention.

“Ow, Addison. That's not how you get people's attention.” Will chided.

“Sorry. Can we go see Uncle Jack and Bitty and Bella now?” Addison said.

“Sure. Lead the way.” Derek said.

Addison lead them around to the visitors lockers, just in time to run into Jack, Bitty and Bella, who was currently asleep on Jacks back.

“Nice game, Cap.” Derek said with a smirk.

Jack sighed. “I havent been your captain in over a decade, Nurse. Please stop.”

“Ah, but you were the best one Ive ever had. Sorry Bits.”

Bitty and Jack both rolled their eyes.

“We would love to stay and chat with you two but we gotta get headed towards the airport.” Bitty said. “Especially since Bells already asleep. Shes been up since 6am with me and is just bone tired.”                                                             

“Okay Bits. We’ll see you in a few weeks for the Falconers home opener. Wanna get dinner before hand, while our husbands do their thing?”

“Sure. We’ll see you then. Have a safe flight you three.”

“See yall later!”

The Zimmermann-Bittles walked away, leaving the Poindexter-Nurses on their own. Addison tugged on Dereks hand. “Are we gonna go home now?”

Will grabbed Addison's free hand and smiled. “Yes, Addy-Girl. Home for now.”

“Okay.” Addison gave a tired smile. “It was a good game, Papa.”

“Thanks baby.”

Together, the three of them left the area at the end of another good day.

Derek Poindexter-Nurse hates writing. Its difficult, its time consuming and tedious to do. He hates writing with an undeniable, fiery passion.

Which is why he does it for a living. Obviously.

When it comes to writing, Derek’s been lucky. Hot got published only a few years after college and he quickly made it onto the bestseller list. He has hordes of teenage fans who would probably commit many crimes if he asked them to, all of them clamoring for another installment, another book, another bonus story, another anything. He could give them a five hundred word shit stain and most of them would probably be content. Literally anything.

Which is of course, how Derek found himself holding down the ‘H’ key for ten minutes, thumping his head continuously on his desk, as if that will make the ideas come faster. Usually when Derek gets into a slump like this, he just goes and talks to Will but its early May and the Stanley Cup playoffs are looming in front of the Rangers, so Will’s at practice and will be for another four hours, meaning that Derek is stuck stewing in his own mind indefinitely.

Indefinitely doesnt last for long. Dereks stewing is interrupted by a knock on his study door and it being pushed open to reveal Addison in all of her 13 year old glory.

“Are you okay Dad?” Addison said, looking at her father with a mixture of concern and vague disgust.

“No.” Derek sighed. He thumped his head aginst the wood again.

“Um..” Addison walkedd ina nd leaned against the desk where Derkes head currently was. “Maybe stop hitting your head against the desk? I dont think getting a concussion would be very good for you. Besides, Papa’s gotten enough for the both of you.”

Derek leveled a glare at his daughter but he lifted his head off the desk and sat up. He rubbed the red mark on his forehead. “Ive gotten my fair share of concussions too, ya know. I did play hockey for a lot time.”

“I know, I know, all im saying is that Papa had a concussion like, a month ago. “ Addison shrugged. “So his might be a little more relevant.”

It was true. Will had gotten a harsh check and was out of the game for a while because of it. It was rough on all three of them, just as it always was whenever Will got hurt during games. It always made Derek worry, usually about how much longer Will could play in the NHL or if they should continue letting Addison play in her junior league. It sent his head in swirls and him and Bitty and Caitlin have spent hours talking about the stress of being married to three of the top players in the NHL. And Derek knew that their children have had similar conversations about being the children of NHL stars.

“Dad? Hello?” Addison waved her hand in front of Derek's face to get his attention. “You still with me or did you actually give yourself self a concussion? Do I need to drive you to the hospital?”

“You can't drive yet, Addison. You're 13.”

“I know but I figured that if you had a concussion you would let me try anyways.” Addison grinned.

“And that's where you're wrong.”  

“Worth a shot. So what's wrong?”

Derek let out a long sigh. “Writing is hard, Addy. Don't do it. It isn't a viable career. “

“I mean, it wasnt on my list. I was more thinking hockey.”

“Huh?” Derek stared at his daughter and his heart thumped extra hard. “Really?”

“Well, yeah.” Addison shrugged. “Its what makes sense and I like it a lot. Is there…..something wrong with that?”

Derek let out a breath. The idea of his daughter, his pride and joy, one of the two most important people in his life, playing a dangerous game that both him and his husband loved made him feel nauseous. He knew first hand how dangerous the game was and while he knew that Addison took after her fathers in her love for the game, part of Derek wished that she didnt.

“Just..be careful.” Derek said carefully. He didnt want to admit to her how much it scared him. “You have time to decide. Most kids your age have no idea what they want to do. But, me and Papa will support you no matter what, okay?”

“Okay Daddy.” Addison leaned over and hugged him tightly. Derek hugged her back, putting all of his concerns and hopes into that hug.

“So, how can I help you get past your writing block right now?” Addison asked, pulling away from the hug.

Derek glanced at his laptop, which was just showing a word document full with the letter “H”. An idea tickled at the back of his brain. Something about an over-do meeting between a main character and their parent. A nice conversation about fears. Derek grinned

“You've already have.”