#sort of kndof

[dedeuteros]

i think about you sometimes !!

messing with my typing quirks b/c maybe it’ll be fun for you to figure out who this is , like a silly form of enrichment , but i do think about you and how you’ve introduced me to things before i see them again , sometimes years later ! i got a song on my recommended that you sent a link to before and i checked to see if you actually had and you did ! i got a silly video about spacehey too and i can’t find the message but i’m 99.9% sure you showed it to me ! i wonder about your mind and your art and your writing but lately i’ve rarely talked to anyone at all , so there’s the excuse for not reaching out . i’ve been going about just keeping to myself . i don’t know if we’ll ever talk again , but you’re in my thoughts .

i hope you’re doing well !!

if youre who i believe youve done an endearingly poor job of changing up your writing style but i respect the effort! this is an interesting way to reach out, feels rather like talking to a ghost. but i guess youre right that i could only respond to something so nonconfrontational. as is.

im doing the thing right now where i read a lot of one book and like to talk with a similar formality. (it doesnt come through well but it reads the same in my mind.) it's no less than a collective of 3000 pages of careful intricate slowburn of a god-on-earth emperor and his competent secretary. they work to reform the 99 generations of poor government, the emperor one day gets to be himself again. there's a beautiful drapery of court pleasantries and fealty as a guise for their deep feelings. not that i am sure i have so many feelings (though the book skirts a perfect line of the aroace spectrum i enjoy) but maybe you can see why myself, avoidant and indirect, can enjoy it.

im glad you are excited by things i share, and that i was right they might be something in your own radar! my dear maliha used to do that for me in middleschool and it always tickled me when something came back to me a year later.

i also wonder on the writing and art of yourself and the entire lot of our class. i miss very badly being able to glance to either side and see something internal laid out next to me. i dont do so much, except my smileys when i feel aggravated and my easy doodles in book margins. but i have plans to do some studies. your pieces which included ambient sound were among my favorites (assuming you are, of course, you)

i dont hang out with anyone except my coowrkers, except holidays when the full force of several social lives drains me. had to call out of work for how tired it made me. i hope that you do still have people you could hang out with even if you dont. and i am still gravely sorry i cannot so enthusiastically be. sometimes it is easier when you know for certain someone is not willing to peer into your heart and soul but instead just enjoy company. any more makes my head spin.

much love, whether ive guessed who or not, to you! from my writing and my art and my thoughts.once dear to me i do not at all forget, which i think i already told you.

[gmos]

i feel like cassandra for real like i feel like i have so much to offer artisticaly and mentally btu im cursed to never pick up any meaningful attention. i know part of it is the algorithm but ive been at this for so long and i cant even get reblogs on most of my art