#spreading the Jewish jon agenda

[mpetrohero]

Jonathan Jarchavist Sims is Jewish non-practicing and Martin is Christian/Catholic (but obviously very separated from That Kind of faith).

I don’t make the rules. They simply are. I Know them like no one else. I Capital K Know.

Like- *holds them tightly in the palm of my hand* they’re so in love I love them so much. They have so much religious trauma and religion isn’t a huge part in their lives but. it’s important to me.

During the holidays they talk about what to celebrate, and eventually they decide to set up a single tree and a menorah and get gifts for eachother to open because it doesn’t matter why or what they’re celebrating on what holiday, they’re still celebrating eachother.

*shakes them up and down violently* I’m killing 🤭

[beardedmrbean]

EXCLUSIVE: Comedic actor and outspoken Israel supporter Jon Lovitz went on a tear against Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt., and members of the Democratic "Squad" for their opposition to the Jewish State.

Lovitz, who is Jewish, declared Sanders the "best example" of a "self-loathing Jew," calling him "disgusting," and mocked how the senator describes himself as a "Democratic Socialist" versus being a communist. 

"That's like asking me, ‘Are you Christian?’ 'No, no, I'm a Jew for Jesus.' Well, that's what it is," Lovitz told Fox News Digital in an interview. "You know the difference between a communist and a Democratic Socialist? A Democratic Socialist is somebody you vote for, and then they take all your money and give back what they think you need. A communist — they just appoint themselves. There's no election and they do the exact same thing. That's the only difference."

"And [Sanders is] saying, you know, we shouldn't have money for, you know, fund Israel, you know, and the Squad, those people… It's no secret they're horribly antisemitic," he said. 

JON LOVITZ TEARS INTO COLBERT, KIMMEL FOR PUSHING ‘POLITICAL AGENDA’ IN LATE NIGHT: THEY ‘HAMMER IT TO DEATH’

He mocked Sanders for having three homes despite his $174,000 salary as a senator.

"'That's normal.' No, it isn't. Not on that salary," Lovitz said while showcasing his Sanders impersonation. 

"All my friends that are Jewish, like, they go, Bernie Sanders, self-loathing Jew. You know, what's wrong with this guy? And that's what that is. 'Oh, that's not true.' Yeah, it is. Yeah, you are. 'I don't like it when people make money. It's not right. They should only make so much. And then it's enough.' Well, you have three homes. You should just have one. 'That's none of your business.'"

Lovitz, who describes himself as socially liberal but fiscally conservative, lamented how Democrats had always been pro-Israel in years past, but now the party has shifted so far left that the Squad promotes the anti-Israel Boycott, Divest and Sanction (BDS) movement. 

"They go, 'Let's give all that money away from Israel, give it to Hamas.' That's what they would say. That's what they want," Lovitz said. "What's that, Ilhan Omar? She wants to [not] give money to Israel for military aid. They're our ally! They're a democracy! Just go — all right. You're against giving money to a Democratic ally, correct? You're against that. But we're giving money to Ukraine."

JON LOVITZ KNOCKS ‘IDIOT’ JOHN OLIVER PANICKING OVER US AID TO ISRAEL: HE'S ‘SHOCKED’ AMERICA SUPPORTS AN ALLY

He then turned his aim at Rep. Rashida Tlaib, D-Mich., pointing to a recent Fox News Digital report revealing she's part of a secret Facebook group that praised Hamas. 

"'Free Palestine. I'm not antisemitic,' but that means you want to get rid of Israel. She's in her office — in her office, there's pictures of it. She's got a map and a post-it over Israel, it says ‘Palestine.’ I mean, she's Palestinian. I get it… but she's spreading lies," Lovitz said. "She said that Israel bombed the hospital and killed 500 people. And then after they proved that Israel did not fire the bomb and the United States proved it and the bomb hit the parking lot, not the hospital, and the bomb was fired by jihad terrorists, and they have video of it where it's coming from, not from Israel, from Gaza and turning around and hitting the parking lot. She's never taken the tweet down or said I made a mistake. So how can you listen to anything she says?"

He continued: "They want to get rid of Israel. 'Well, just because you want to get rid of Israel doesn't mean you're antisemitic.' Well, yeah, it kind of does because it's a Jewish state. ‘We want to get rid of the Jewish state of Israel.’ Their flag has a Jewish star on it. I mean, yeah, it is. ‘Anti-Zionism isn’t anti-Jewishness.' Yeah, it is. Of course, it is. What else could it be? It's part of being Jewish. The Jewish stars and the flag, but you're not against Jews."

He also singled out Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y., though not for her opposition to Israel.

"You know, AOC said?" Lovitz began. "I don't care what party she's in. I think she's cute. But she's an idiot… She goes, 'You know, 29, a lot of people my generation because of climate change are asking themselves, you know, should they have children? And I think it's a good question. And I think, you know, maybe they shouldn't.' Oh. Okay. So you're telling all the people of your generation don't have kids. Then in 50 years, there's nobody left on the Earth, moron!… This is what you're dealing with! Don't have kids. Okay. There'll be no one left to breathe your clean air. It's moronic!"

When asked why he believes there's such a divide among liberals in D.C. and Hollywood alike when it comes to the Israel-Hamas war, Lovitz replied, "Jealousy, fear and misinformation." 

"Before this happened, you know, 500,000 Palestinians would go to Israel for work, like they're dependent on Israel for their survival," he said. "Secondly, if you want to get really technical, they're not Palestinians. They're Jordanian refugees. In 1964, Yasser Arafat changed the name to the PLO, the Palestinian Liberation Organization, and started calling them Palestinians. So I've had people go, 'Well, if they're not supposed to live in Palestine, why are they called Palestinians?' So it's a propaganda thing. That's true." 

COMEDIAN JON LOVITZ BLASTS HBO'S JOHN OLIVER FOR SHAMING U.S. OVER ALLIANCE WITH ISRAEL: ‘GOD BLESS AMERICA’

Lovitz continued, "But the fact is that a lot of Israelis and Palestinians get along fine… Israel has 10 million citizens and 1.8 million are Arabs — Arab-Israeli citizens. They have their own political party, and you can't get anything done in the, you know, their Congress is the Knesset and everything, without their vote. And where do you think they came from? I was there in Israel in '78, and I have relatives there. And my cousin — I said, 'So what's with the Palestinians?' He goes, 'They're Jordanian refugees living in the same spot they've been living in since the '20s. And we said, you know, it's Israel now. If you stay here, you're Israeli citizens. If you leave, you know, it's up to you. But if you stay, you'll become Israeli citizens.' And that's where the 1.8 million Arabs came from — hello! And I'm not saying the Jews are perfect. They're not. No one is. They do things that are wrong. But in this case, they're not wrong."

The "Saturday Night Live" alum blasted calls for a cease-fire, highlighting Hamas' own rhetoric promising future Oct. 7ths. 

"As soon as they start winning — 'Cease-fire!' How can you have a cease-fire against Hamas when Hamas says we're never stopping 'til you're all gone. 'And we're gonna have Oct. 7th. We'll have Oct. 11th and 20th, and we're going to do it over and over and over again.' And now they have all these hostages. They go, 'okay, we'll give you 70 back.' And Israel's answer, which it should be, is like, 'Go to hell. Give them all back. You shouldn't have any in the first place,'" Lovitz said. "And Israel — if they get rid of Hamas, they're gonna make sure that you put in, which would be good, a democratic government, you know, running Gaza. And then what would happen? Oh, they'll have education. They'll have, instead of money, the money for tunnels, you know, it'll go to build schools and hospitals. And women will get educated."

He later added, "I mean, it's the lack of knowledge of what's going on. And again — 'But isn't it horrible that people are getting killed in Palestine, innocent civilians?' Yes, it is horrible because it's war. War is horrible. But Israel, it's a war that Hamas — their government deliberately started. They go, ‘We wanted to start a war'... Hamas doesn't care about all these people getting killed. Israel says leave and Hamas is no, don't leave. They try to prevent them from leaving. What's that?"

In addition to "SNL," Lovitz has starred in films including "A League of Their Own" and "Rat Race," and has been featured in a slew of Adam Sandler comedies. More recently, he has made regular appearances on Byron Allen's comedic game show "Funny You Should Ask" and regularly tours across the country doing stand-up, including monthly appearances at The Laugh Factory at the Tropicana in Las Vegas.