#squadrah headcanons

[squadrah]

Been thinking about this, but which members of La Squadra would be childfree(have almost or completely no interest in having children) and which would like to have a family(if given the chance)? And how big of a family?

Not my forte, but I'll do my best!

Risotto: He strikes me as the type that, given the chance, would have settled down to continue his family's business and had at least one child. I headcanon that he was an only child because being a large baby, the pregnancy and birth was quite difficult and his parents decided not to risk another one. If he faced the same risk with his first child, he would stop at one to spare his partner, but if size was not an issue, he would be content to have several children.

Formaggio: On paper, he is definitely childfree, and had probably bailed on relationships with partners who either started entertaining the idea of having children together, or were too relaxed about contraceptives. He's too independent and carefree to actually want children of his own, and yet if he had to babysit, he would find that he's actually quite good with children, and from there it might not be out of the question with the right partner to have some.

Prosciutto: He is fully capable of being a provider and mentor to children, but having any of his own is not a priority to him in the slightest, and he would not be enticed to make any in order to start a family. Children would have to happen to him in the form of say, becoming acquainted with a worthy child who is up for adoption, or an unexpected pregnancy popping up with a partner that he is firmly committed to. Would definitely draw the line at two.

Pesci: He thinks children are fine and it must be nice to have a family, but he is too self-conscious about passing down his genes and doubts his own ability to take on such a huge responsibility and be a good parent whether his child turns out typical or not, so he tends to play it safe and never really think about it. It would take a very capable and confident partner for him to risk it, and even just one child would be quite nerve wrecking for him to handle.

Ghiaccio: He is in a similar boat to Pesci, but he is much more firmly childfree on account of having his hands full just trying to manage his own temper and energy in a constructive manner. He's also in the camp of "why bring more children onto this bitch of an earth" so he would equally scoff at any of the others expressing interest. I tend to headcanon him as asexual on top of everything else, so the idea of having sex to have children would be quite repulsive to him.

Melone: He is more chill about the idea than the others in the sense that with his disabilities, children are mostly out of the question, but if he managed to have one, he would probably be excited... at least until said child entered their defiant phase, at which point he would start wondering why he ever thought this would be a good idea. He's basically the reverse of Formaggio: on paper children sound good, and then they say no to him once and he's done forever.

Illuso: His opinions are mixed. As a middle child from a numerous family, he knows first hand how messy children can be, and he's not exactly in the right place mentally or emotionally to start a family. On the other hand, he loves drama and would probably get a kick out of observing his own children have blowouts, as long as he didn't have to deal with any of it. Three would be plenty, and he fantasizes about them tearing each other apart over the inheritance.

Sorbet: Absolutely agrees with Ghiaccio about it being cruel to bring more children into life's great shit show, and his frugal nature also rejects the idea on financial grounds. He is probably the most normal about being childfree - you will not find him having arguments either for or against, and if pressed, he will dismiss any attempts with it being a personal preference and his choice. The most he could tolerate is being an uncle, as long as the child liked plants and opera.

Gelato: He, on the other hand, loves children, and not just the idea of them one way or another. To him they are as precious as kittens and puppies are to most people, and he really enjoys their company because kids are very honest and also little freaks with unique ideas and views. If he could, he would have a gaggle about him at all times, but he is also one of the worst enablers ever, so it's probably a good thing that he can't go out and start a family of his own.

[squadrah]

So you had two asks about La Squadra being toddlers, but what about them being old/older men? Maybe in their 40-50's or as senile old people. And my mind ain't exactly wondering there, but what do you think they'd be like as dilfs?

I managed to find an old post where I was asked what they would be like as old man: here it is! You also reminded me that I had once written about them as parents in general, and I could have sworn I published it, but I ended up finding it at last in my drafts, so I'll make sure to queue it after publishing this ask!

That just leaves the question at the end, ehe... I will try to do these from the perspective of a young adult, probably a friend of their child(ren), while they themselves are in their forties and fifties.

Risotto: His sheer size and deep voice are already enough to set the butterflies aflutter, so the way he wears sleeveless shirts and dirty overalls at home is almost too much. He is best observed in the garage where he enjoys quietly working with power tools, and nobody can look at his work table without imagining him sweeping off the clutter to make room for them instead...

Formaggio: He ages so gracefully he looks like he could still be in his thirties, but the way he cracks open a cold one while giving clever responses and showing at least basic knowledge of just about any topic introduced hints at decades of experience in a variety of areas. Whenever he playfully manhandles his spouse in the kitchen, guests cannot help but chug their own cold beverages in vain.

Prosciutto: Never seen without his signature dress shirts and crisp trousers, and when he's around, the temperature always drops enough that all unnecessarily noise and frolic dies down. Most agree they would not want to live with him as their father, the bar is just too high in that respect, but nobody would mind him in a hotel chair with a bourbon in his hand and ordering them to get to work...

Pesci: At first he seems nothing special, especially because he's not much respected by his children, but as soon as he easily lifts something that he ought to struggle with at his size, and tells you how much he think it weighs by touch, the magic begins, and those who have gone on fishing trips with him on the weekend and watched him reel in that big bass are now smitten for life.

Ghiaccio: Whenever you meet him, he's either preparing to go for a run or has just returned from it all sweaty and glistening, and no real decrease of stamina to show for it. Going to the gym with him is a rite of passage; he will explain every machine and challenge you to various feats of endurance. Spotting is obligatory, and many hit the showers afterwards in greater frustration than they began.

Melone: That one anon ask of "your dad looks gnc af" sums him up perfectly, he is so impeccably and unabashedly A Look and An Icon that all his various issues are easily buried in a tidal wave of gender envy and lust. His children are so confident and well-educated when it comes to sex that their friends can only imagine what a wealth of experience could be gained from the fountain head.

Illuso: He always lets his luscious long hair down at home, physically and metaphorically, and exudes such minor soap opera antagonist vibes that his heckling his children and spouse come off as almost entertaining, a good example of how much people forgive to a pretty face and a nice tall figure. He's not above teasing his guests either, and you will either hate him for it or want to kiss him.

Sorbet: He's not conventionally attractive and seems to love his plants more than his children, but he has a certain Addams Family aesthetic about him that carries his dry wit and odd ways perfectly, especially when he's trimming his bonsai or is outside gardening in the shade in special gloves and up to his neck in dirt. You are welcome to indulge his obscure opera obsession, but watch out.

Gelato: That one extremely friendly dad that claps you on the shoulder and shoves a drink into your hand as soon as (and even before) you hit drinking age, and is always two seconds away from hugging you and kissing you on both cheeks in a fit of camaraderie and general mirth. Watching him grill sausages and cook in a big outdoor cauldron permanently changes your brain chemistry.

[squadrah]

Everyone’s favorite store at the mall? 👀🛍️

Risotto: Large scale sports stores because nobody will bat an eyelid at his size (and only the more courageous clerks will try to assist him) and if he wants anything, he is sure to find something to fit him.

Formaggio: Toy stores for the fun factor like looking at novelty decks, juggling small items to amuse kids, or heckling parents who are too uptight to get dolls for their sons or robots for their daughters.

Prosciutto: Book stores, and he will spend all of his time skimming through whatever has caught his interest. He often gets through dozens of books before purchasing a single one to throw a bone.

Pesci: Newspaper kiosks so he can check whatever comics are available while also excitedly browsing newspapers and magazines for headlines that could be used as conversation starters later.

Ghiaccio: Shoe stores, and he usually sticks to the sports section there to inspect sneakers and trainers, stimming on the materials as he goes. Tends to line up and meticulously rank his best finds.

Melone: Stationery stores because he cannot resist novelty pens and crisp, clean notebooks. Always ends up buying something when he already has more than he will ever use (they make good gifts, so).

Illuso: Large scale clothing stores where there are plenty of mirrors to move about because it gives him space to disappear and he can put on a fashion show inside without having to wait for fitting rooms.

Sorbet: The home improvement store where he can fantasize about how his ideal home would look if he could afford it, and if he has company, he will do snarky reviews of random items for fun.

Gelato: The lottery booth, not just because he enjoys buying tickets but also because he loves to chat it up with folks trying their luck there and have a consolation drink after if they're down for it.

[squadrah]

What would be each of La Squadra's biggest regrets?

Risotto: It's a tie between necessarily cutting ties with his family after he avenged his cousin and not realizing sooner that Sorbet and Gelato were flying too close to the sun with their snooping.

Formaggio: When he thinks about his mother and all her hopes for him turning into someone respectable and admirable, he gets a really sour taste in his mouth despite not minding how his life panned out.

Prosciutto: He sometimes wonders if he could have destroyed or killed his abusers sooner than he did, and regrets that he had complied for so long with the people who made his life hell.

Pesci: His biggest regret always revolves around having disappointed someone, from his family to the various small time gangs he chased after and now his team for life. Always mourning his failures there.

Ghiaccio: He could have received a full education but couldn't complete his studies because he got expelled and then joined the mafia, and he still feels shame over this making him look stupid.

Melone: His state of health preventing him from pursuing all of his different interests. He's neutral on his own issues, but every time they get in the way he feels regret that he's not strong enough.

Illuso: He used to dream of becoming a famous celebrity, with all the glory and riches that entails, and he sometimes regrets not taking bigger and bolder risks that could have landed him that life.

Sorbet: He regrets his entire lineage all the way back to the first poor schmuck to land with the debt that would plague the family for generations, and wishes he had been born elsewhere.

Gelato: Like Melone, he wishes he could have done more. By the devil he had done all he could and his health was no obstacle, but his (never written down) bucket list was too long for his short life.

[squadrah]

one unexpected/out of character thing they did once, then never again.

Risotto: Spent several minutes trying to squeeze himself between heavy furniture because he dropped a pen knife in there and forgot in his frustration that he could have just magnetized it.

Formaggio: Instead of shrugging off Illuso's jabs at him as nonchalantly as possible, he went on an angry philosophical diatribe that lasted almost ten minutes and left everyone confused.

Prosciutto: Opened the fridge, grabbed the milk carton, chugged it, must have swallowed at least four times before he spat out the rest, and then he put the carton back in the fridge.

Pesci: One fine day he had a sudden burst of confidence and subtly challenged Ghiaccio to something minor and dared give him a condescending look when he was winning. (He won.)

Ghiaccio: He actually gritted his teeth in frustration when Pesci gave him that condescending look and ended up losing to him. He only walked up to Pesci and smacked him two hours after the fact.

Melone: Was idly listening while the others were having a pseudo-scientific debate, and when one of them asked for his opinion, he said, "I don't find it very interesting, sorry."

Illuso: One time Formaggio was feeling down, and he walked up to him, gave him a beer from the fridge, patted him on the back and said some genuinely kind words, then disappeared for two days.

Sorbet: Came down one day in mismatched socks, and throughout the day he clearly changed them up several times between apperances, but they were always mismatched.

Gelato: Turned down an invitation to his favorite bar without any explanation given. They later spotted him in the bar nearest to his favorite bar, drinking alone at a corner table.

[squadrah]

got inspired by the awesome dilf post, so please: la squadra as milfs???

I'M SOBBING, here we go I guess!! I'm dialing this one to eleven!!

Risotto: She's giant in every way so everyone else appears quite small next to her. She's usually in the kitchen or her kitchen garden, picking fruit from her trees without needing so much as a stool to reach most of them. Rumor has it she once slapped a wild bear in the face with her chancla to defend her family, and if asked about it, she will modestly look away and murmur, "Anyone else would have done the same." (The bear never came back, by the way.)

Formaggio: You can tell she used to be a hardcore punk: she still sports a buzz cut, with red lipstick and golden hoop earrings to add some bright colors. She's top heavy and proud of it, so she makes sure to show ample cleavage and likes to wear leather jackets. She loves to go out and constantly organizes outings for her friends and family; has never missed an event, and has never left an event without drinking something. A dangerous flirt.

Prosciutto: She's extremely overcommitted, and how she hasn't gone insane yet from micromanaging everything from work to her entire family's smallest concerns is a mystery. Her children are still affected by her leaning in and papping their cheeks, and the impression is even stronger on covetous strangers. Only ever lets her curly hair down for evening parties, at which point she basically transforms into into a femme fatale. Pegs like a battering ram.

Pesci: Always overcome by severe gender dysphoria whenever she compares herself to her more feminine peers, but she makes do with cute and novel ways of styling her scant hair, nice patterned tops and trouser skirts. She's often shy, but sometimes has her bold moments that suggest she could be a real firecracker if properly encouraged. Does a lot of heavy lifting that reveals ridiculous core strength and flexibility. Loves dancing and rhythm games.

Ghiaccio: The only one in yoga class who wishes you were allowed to scream out loud, and the only parent who, if their child takes up a sport, will take up that sport herself both as a form of support and as a means of bonding with her child and people her age. Is a health freak and makes kale smoothies, but since her legs look great in tight pants and her tits are rock hard, she's clearly winning. Has probably never had an orgasm, so there's a good challenge.

Melone: How is she still alive, and why does she still look like a barely aged scene girl? Nobody knows, not even her, but she's happy to lounge on her designated bean bag chair in cute pajamas and her laptop always on. Be careful around her: her brain is oversaturated with niche Wikipedia articles and she'll tell you all about them as soon as you're near enough to hear, and you might in ten minutes find yourself painting her toenails while she's reading your horoscope.

Illuso: Oh, she is the ultimate Karen. Luscious hair styles, immaculate manicures, the latest mom fashions, and a holier-than-thou smirk that instantly makes the manager homicidal. Knows her coupons and discounts more than the Bible but she's dressed to the nines every Sunday flashing that mass stipend to let everyone know she's more generous of heart than they could ever be, then whines at the barista about her order. Teases her children mercilessly.

Sorbet: That one esoteric plant witch who loves her orchids more than her own children, and would become a certified hermit if she could. Since she's stuck with her family, however, she stalks around her home like she's embodying Morticia Addams, and talks to everyone in a dry and ominous tone. Watches too many murder mysteries and cooks mushroom stew right after. You are welcome to indulge her obscure opera obsession, but watch out.

Gelato: The whimsical happy-go lucky mom that every fanciful child dreams of, the type who builds blanket forts in the living room, thinks that everyone deserves a little treat always, and actively assists whenever anyone around her wants to try something new and possibly dangerous. Has nearly burned down her house a dozen times but she keeps toasting marshmallows in bed with a blowtorch. Hope you have insurance if you decide to engage.

[squadrah]

So I don't know if you've already answered something like this but this is something that keeps slipping my mind. La Squadra are described as men who "aren't trusted by anyone" due to theor professions. But...I can see Formaggio, Prosciutto, MAYBE Gelato being among the few ones who have a proper social life (outside La Squadra). How would that work though? Do they hang out with normies/civvies but aren't totally close with them? Do they lie about their jobs to them or don't answer if they're never asked?

Hmm, I'm actually not sure if I have ever tackled this! They are definitely not trusted by anyone at Passione (and seeing as how they are basically the garbage disposal to the "garbage" in and of the mafia, that is understandable), and they probably have no daytime jobs because then their movements would be extremely limited - imagine excusing yourself from the office and hours later a murder occurs, etc. In this manner they are also isolated from work, and it would make sense for them to have left their families behind long ago, if they had any to begin with.

But I like the idea of a semblance of a social life, so I'll go with the three characters mentioned!

Formaggio: He seems young and hot-blooded enough that he would never be out of place at a club or bar, but I think his primary source of social life would come from the streets. I can see a stray cat of his caliber having a wide territory, and being an outgoing person in every sense, he would end up casually chatting with fellow loiterers, street food vendors, kids and adolescents - whoever is around. Think Mista asking the two girls if they wanted to play; that is exactly how I imagine Formaggio going about it. It's not a deep thing, of course, because most of these acquaintances were made slightly, so it's always the most superficial chitchat you can imagine, but even just exchanging a "yo!" or "how's it hanging?" with his own ilk would be enough for Formaggio to feel like the talk of the town.

Gelato: He likes to go to town as much as the next guy, but unlike Formaggio, he doesn't roam about because he has a handful of favorite haunts where he can sit down and crack open a cold one at the bar, and chat up whoever is sitting next to him. Nobody really gets familiar in the seedy places he enjoys the most, so he can usually get away with "If I told you what I did, I would have to kill you!" followed by a hearty laugh and a call for more drinks, and nobody will think anything of it - and since he has approximate knowledge of many things, he will always find some topic he can discuss, or coax some interesting subject or drama out of a down-on-their-luck patron and chew it over with them over a packet of cigarettes. At any rate, Sorbet and the gang are more than enough for him to never feel lonely.

Prosciutto: I left him for last because his case is the trickiest for me personally. On the one hand, he strikes me as someone who isn't a great deal in need of society because he has at least one person if not eight people to micromanage, but on the other hand, that would be the perfect reason to get away from time to time, right? He, like the rest, would probably spend a good time at the gay bar down the street and drink or play cards, but I could also see a more unconventional avenue for him if he used The Grateful Dead to age himself. Imagine him doing that and joining an elderly book club where he can talk about stuff he's read and all he has to do is lie about his life and maybe have Ghiaccio pick him up sometimes parading as his grandson. The gossip there is amazing, by the way.

[squadrah]

From My CuriousCat

"One unnerving trait/habit each La Squadra member has"

Risotto: Making himself blend into his surroundings when he doesn't want to interact with anyone but still wants to be present or in the company of his teammates. It's no better than Illuso peeking out of mirrors; stop it.

Formaggio: Nobody has ever seen him go to the bathroom or wash his hands. He obviously does it because he's always clean and pays attention to his appearance, but nobody can recall seeing him do the business. They are afraid.

Prosciutto: Sometimes they catch him disinfecting things with The Grateful Dead - touching something and some fumes waft up to let them know that 100.00% of all bacteria have been killed -, and it's really uncalled for.

Pesci: He swallows loudly whenever he gets nervous, and the noise is just visceral. How much saliva does he have? Why is he squelching every time he gets anxious, which is almost always. They don't envy Prosciutto if this is half his day.

Melone: Speaking of noise, he cracks his joints, very needlessly too because his body is already like Rice Crispies in the sound department. When he flexes and cracks each individual toe, they kind of just want to end his incomprehensible life.

Illuso: Whenever he pockets something or takes things out of his pockets, most of them want to slap him. They just know he's walking around with ten kilograms' worth of junk in that padded jacket and honestly, that's a fair estimate.

Ghiaccio: He cannot stay still when interacting. He shakes and shuffles about, gestures all over the place, his facial features twitch, and if you're not careful, that anxious/exasperated energy might just infect you, too.

Gelato: Adjusts his nasty business in public. He seems to think that nobody can see him cram it to the left side through his pants, but yes, they can, for the love of god just go to the next room or turn around, man!

Sorbet: If you talk to him for longer than ten seconds, he drops eye contact and starts staring at your knees or worse, your shoes, then immediately looks you in the eye when you call him out on it and tells you he was listening.

[squadrah]

How much of each other's childhoods/backgrounds do the la squadra members know? Do they know about Risotto cousin? Pesci dad? I'm sure the majority are very private

Going by what little we have in canon, and in canon we get one (1) member explained, I feel like Risotto would not have voluntarily talked about his childhood or background - not so much keeping it secret as ignoring the facts for the sake of his team and leadership. At the same time, I could see some facts surfacing if they others decided to do a little digging, especially around how and why Risotto ended up in Passione, which makes his order to forget about Sorbet and Gelato hypocritical and personally painful at the same time if they know that he would want to avenge them more than anyone.

As for the others:

Melone feels like the type who just unabashedly talks about it, all you have to do is ask or for something to feel relevant enough to warrant a remark, and it's mostly a very neutral disclosure;

Gelato is also honest about his history, but he takes far more pride in all the tomfoolery and jackassery he's done, and the more he drinks, the more of it will come out;

I could see Formaggio offering colorful little stories here and there, in that some details are exaggerated or made up for a playful fare as well as to mask some unpleasant truths;

Pesci kind of wants to talk about his past, but at the same time is convinced that his past is boring and nobody really wants to hear it, and feels he doesn't have the talent required to make it sound interesting, so he would have to really be made comfortable and coaxed patiently for a long time to talk;

Meanwhile Ghiaccio would prefer to never talk about his childhood or background ever, except when he gets carried away and goes on tangents, you can see that there are some past grievances coming to the surface, resulting in a bunch of angry fragments;

Sorbet has a somewhat sordid relationship with his past, there are things he regrets and things that he feels are embarrassing, so he mostly keeps quiet, but like with Gelato, alcohol helps loosen his tongue and so a vague history becomes obtainable;

and Illuso and Prosciutto are probably the most secretive about their backgrounds, Illuso in a "nobody must ever know me" way and Prosciutto in a "none of your business" way, though Illuso sometimes gives away very small details that are a matter of pride to him, and Prosciutto just never talks if he can help it, period.

Bonus: I love the idea of Formaggio and Risotto as childhood friends, and if they were, they would know each other's histories, with Formaggio weaponizing Risotto's for fun anecdotes and Risotto sometimes talking about Formaggio's past as a means of helping others understand him better.

[squadrah]

la squadra + vulnerable moments? How do they deal with these, do they even embrace these moments?

Risotto: Given the position he's in as leader of an isolated and maligned group, he is doing his best to ignore his vulnerabilities, which sometimes means that he is genuinely caught unawares. The instinct to quash his emotions before they get out of hand is strong, so he usually retreats as soon as possible; it would take immense trust on his part to admit to these moments to anyone, let alone elaborate (and even then he would be very curt about it.)

Formaggio: He toes the fine line between cheerfully shrugging off vulnerable moments and indulging them in a self-deprecating and somewhat dramatic manner. The type who, if he was hurt at just the right moment by just the right type of asshole, might rattle off and make it uncomfortable for everyone involved, as a means of warding others off of trying again. Only in his most elevated moments would he, without any effort, be able to sound sincere about any of it.

Prosciutto: He learned very early that being vulnerable in any capacity is dangerous, so he has thoroughly suppressed any signs of weakness in himself. He also learned how to walk others through their vulnerabilities, but when it comes to his own, he doesn't know how to deal with any of it. He will start to harden as soon as anything comes up and get violent if not left alone so he can figure out what activities to do until the feeling passes and he's calm again.

Pesci: It's the other way around: vulnerable moments deal with him. When they come, that sense of being small or weak feels so natural and reasonable to his self-conscious mind that he just bows to the idea and gives in to the anxious urge to babble about it. It is also his gateway to getting attention and encouragement from others (Prosciutto), so he is honestly a little addicted to laying his vulnerabilities bare as they arise and receiving sweet validation.

Ghiaccio: He grew up feeling that being vulnerable was possibly the most humiliating thing you could experience, which actually exacerbated the problem because now the shame of feeling vulnerable is added on top, which makes him prone to loud and even violent outbursts. His best means of dealing with it is pummeling his punching bag and screaming the whole way, but when that's not possible, the meltdowns can get very ugly very fast.

Melone: The best way to sum it up is "observation without judgment" because one of his coping mechanisms is to adopt the scientific approach and basically study himself, analyzing the minutiae like he's writing a paper on how something someone said has created a burning sensation behind his eyes and the exact percentages of the different emotions he can feel rising. He often talks himself through these stages, whether he is alone or around someone safe.

Illuso: His vulnerabilities are like an elephant in the room, everyone including him can tell that they are on display, but his desire to ignore this and appear in control compels him to be dismissive to the point of lying in everyone's faces and forcing a facade of smugness. If pressed, he will go on the offensive similarly to Formaggio, but with the aim of shifting the focus to someone else's problems instead so he can fade into the background and cry it out in the mirror.

Sorbet: He is caught in the crossfire between resenting his vulnerable side and wanting to have a heart of stone, and finding a sort of raw power in being able to honestly confess to them. This leads him to utilizing girl power by staying in bed all day nursing liquor with a boa around his neck and blasting opera for hours on end until his insides congeal into something more bearable, at which point he will rise again and pretend that it's all fine, actually.

Gelato: Now here is a man who is mostly normal about his vulnerabilities, if only because he is in a position where he doesn't have to worry about being taken advantage of: he's just an ordinary human after all, and if his feelings are loud tonight, then that is all the more reason to share them, have a little drink and a laugh and maybe a brawl, and see if stargazing on the roof with a shiner and a torn sleeve brings a change of perspective (it usually does).

[squadrah]

do any of the members(la squadra) struggle with body/weight issues or self esteem problems?! *also i totally understand if you didn’t answer this ask bc it’s a sensitive topic:3

Thank you for your patience, Anon! I don't mind answering this at all, but good call, so everyone who's sensitive to body issues and self-esteem problems, here's your warning to skip this one!

Risotto: While he understands that his enormous body has certain advantages (strength, intimidation, etc.) he has always been conscious of how strangers are afraid of him as a giant by default, and it made his childhood tougher than it needed to be. Beyond this, he doesn't have any real self-esteem issues because his position, experience and abilities give him enough confidence to deal.

Formaggio: He sometimes wishes he was either leaner or beefier (he's the type who has a smooth tummy and you have to feel for the muscles underneath), but as he won't give himself the trouble to lead a healthier lifestyle, he always shrugs it off with time. Has a bit of an inferiority complex that he's both reconciled to and occasionally meditating on, but not with any tangible success.

Prosciutto: He is perfectly indifferent to his current weight, but he does feel self-conscious about his impaired sense of taste and smell, and he has had to struggle through a lot of dysphoria before he reached peak gender. His self-esteem is in fairly good order, with only some regrets that he can now do nothing about, so he does his best to focus on his present goals and improvement.

Pesci: His webbed neck, short stature and body shape have been a constant source of discomfort and shame to him in his earlier life, where "normal" people were constantly staring or bullying him about it. Only when he joined the team did he start to grow more comfortable with his features, but his nervousness, shyness and lack of self-confidence continue to pose obstacles to his development.

Ghiaccio: He hates being short, and though he's proud of his body in terms of performance and muscle mass, he would gladly start training all over again from scratch in exchange for just two inches of added height. While he can train in next to nothing without a care, revealing clothing in any other circumstance just gives him crippling shame and anxiety to be seen. Professional pride keeps him afloat.

Melone: His poor health is a constant source of regret to him whenever his ambitions outstrip his ability to pursue them, and he's one of the few who would be glad of gaining weight because it would be a sign of becoming healthier and stronger than he is now. His self-esteem thankfully depends more on his intellect and his curiosity than on his circumstances, so he's doing well enough.

Illuso: The only one who has thought seriously about body issues and came up with absolutely nothing to wish for: he considers himself just the right height (tall), figure (lean but imposing) and beauty (his hair is the envy of them all). His self-esteem is rather poor in comparison from his personal history and brand of personality, and he's too defensive about it to stand a good chance of amendment.

Sorbet: A bit resentful of his widow's peak, and only the idea that it gives him an expressive Bride of Frankenstein-esque profile keeps him from despair on the subject. Wishes he was more androgynous in general, perhaps a little taller, too, but has resigned himself to an uncooperative body. His self-esteem is lacking, but he has a hardened air that helps to conceal that.

Gelato: Has never seriously considered his body and if he might wish anything otherwise, which has led to him being perfectly happy with how he is; whatever he lacks he more than makes up for with his activity, his energy, and his general shenanigans. Consequently his self-esteem is in very good order: nothing can embarrass him, so what can he possibly have to worry about?