#stfu mom we all know you were sleeping with other men

[bruja1837]

Spanish Lessons

Me: *trying to learn how to roll my Rs so I can speak Spanish like a proper Dominican*

dad: you need to learn this if you wanna like women

step-mom: yep

Me: 😀!!!?!!?

[fictional-ghost]

zoomester studyblr challenge days 1-10

Day 1- Introduce yourself! What’s some basic info you’d like to share about yourself? Also! What are you studying? (If you’re in college, what’s your major? which semester are you in?)

hey! i'm Casper, 21, from the UK. i'm a poet and a writer and this blog is half studyblr, half writeblr. i'm studying English Lit and Creative Writing at the Open University but considering switching the English Lit to Philosophy.

Day 2- If you’ve chosen a major, why did you decide on it? If you’re in any other grade , what field/major interests you the most?

we don't have majors in the UK but i chose the degree mainly because of the creative writing modules, mainly because i want a degree but i adore creative writing and know that the jobs im likely to end up in wont rely on a degree. i'm considering switching to philosophy because i've studied english lit so much over my life and philosophy has always been frustratingly inaccessible to me past my obsession with jean-paul sartre

Day 3- Have you done a challenge before? If so, how was it? If not, what are you expecting to get out of this experience?

not really! i used to on my witchblr but it's been a long time. i really just want to connect with other people - pandemic timez are isolating as hell.

Day 4- For my researching fellows, what are you researching on? If you’re not currently researching, what is the topic within your field that you’re most passionate about?

not currently researching and no idea what topic i'm most passionate about in terms of creative writing. in english lit i just really like looking at genre trends compared to real life big situations, and in philosophy im mad for existentialism.

Day 5- Tag 3 studyblrs that you like seeing on your dashboard.

@rivkahstudies @bulletnotestudies @contre-qui

Day 6- Quickly! tag urself!

five am. ice cold water. watching the sunrise. healthy smoothies. skincare. reads often. friends with everyone.

ten am. iced coffees. always in a hurry. golden hour aesthetic. remembers the little details. loves old movies.

midday. mom jeans. picnic dates. thrift-shopping. pinterest. low-key insecure. obssessed with photography.

three pm. the color yellow. walks everywhere barefoot. oversized t-shirts. can make anyone laugh. a bit crazy.

five pm. warm smiles. classy. aesthetic instagram feed. anklets. soft music. yoga. face masks.

eight pm.  netflix. cuddles warm sheets. indoors life. loves singing but can’t. sweats. never sleeps.

midnight. driving at night. flirty. neon lights. wears a lot of red. neon lights. big sunglasses. karaoke.

three am. tired eyes. small sketchbooks. pressed flowers. stargazing from the window.

i think i'm mainly 3pm but also 3am. i like 3s

Day 7-  Some of your music faves right now (let’s say up to 5)

im barely listening to music atm because im trying to get comfortable with silence but i'm going to put The Grey (VIXI) by Bury Tomorrow here, as well as their songs 301 and Choke. also Alesund // Sun Kil Moon

Day 8- International Women’s Day! What’s your take on feminism?

i wont be discussing my views bc this isn't a discourse blog but. intersectional feminism is where it's at, white feminism is bullshit, terfs/swerfs/radfems can fuck off and stfu, men's issues need to be included in feminism because a) some men are trans and were socialised as female therefore still experienced sex-based oppression from an early age, b) if feminism means all genders being treated with equity in mind and gender based discrimination disappearing, then that means ALL genders (of course, men are still the most privileged gender and it's mainly them that perpetuate the issues feminism tries to address but we can't just be like 'hurr hurr women's rights' and not look at this from a rational and critical perspective). its a complex subject and gender privilege needs dismantling at the same time as other oppressive structures like class and racial hierarchies do, because they all feed off of one another.

Day 9- Write something that you’d like to tell yourself.

your bad days are just bad days. there will be good ones ahead.

Day 10- Tag someone whose aesthetic you love seeing on your feed.

ahh idk i have adhd memory

[hypoetics]

Hmmm, ive been feeling downtrodden this past year and some change now

Infamous for my short comings it feels

Its never really been positive per say...

My mother had an unconventional upbringing being the child of a 16 year old in the late 70s of new orleans of louisiana

So she was rasied by her great grandma and her daughter

And those guys made it through THE great depression

So...it different

Never the less not very supportive

...she never learned to love in those ways

She probably took a lot of her anger she had about men on me when i was younger

Cant blame her i guess(literally...its to late)

She never wanted me to be anything other than a military man(i was born on a military base in watertien, ny)

And kind if put herself in denial about my sister being who they were

Amd i can literally count on my hand and the amount if times ive seen my dad since 2008

I never had a support structure

I was always the kne spuring other on

I live that shit

Taught my best friend to dance

Me and my highschool gf devolved into an old married couple before i knew it

Extended family has stolen from me, thrown me away, or never knew i existed

I like to think i was losing my mind when i ran away...

I couldnt even bring myself to ask anyone for help i felt so worthless

I could have pleaded...

But i didnt

Became a second class citizen when i went back to pick some stuff up from a friend and found out he tossed my social and birth cert into the trash, along with whatever else...his mom didnt think i was very thank for that one night of kindness they gave me

I spent a while after that sleeping where i felt safe, the back of empty dumpster, playgrounds, running tracks, unfinished houses

Before i met a friend outside of a smoke shop

It was great, i was working at freebirds at the time and i ended up staying with them for a while

I fell head over heels for someone so hard one night on acid

She was reciting the chocolate bit from spongebob

PERFECTLY

and it sent me to thr moon lmao

I was playing fez on the laptop underneath the playground we were hanging at

And everything felt right for a while

Before i realized im living in a drug den, looked like trash, and it was my first time doing drugs like these

Its what tributed to my last relationship going belly up to

We had a few moments

Lol there was this one time i was playing music before she got off and this one song by coiyuki that chanted "i love you" for kike 30secs started playing

And i reacted lol

Nothing was even happening and i just felt embarrased

There was another time i called her to let me into the store so we could talk before she got off...she couldnt so we sat on the floor on either side of the door for a little bit

She was definitely the one that got away

We both played uke, had great assests...idk we just fit together

She's the only person ive ever drawn something for with my emotions and given it too

I can only hope its still on her wall

We ended up going our separate ways after i had gotten further into drugs

She had some success on stage with her instrument

And honestly the most beautiful soul ive ever had the pleasure of meeting

Last time i checked she's deeply in lesbians with someone

And thats cool, as long as shes happy ya know

I dont talk about things i was doing while i was an addict though

Although for the most part i was still just as rad i usually...just fucking warped

But its nothing i want to brag...let alone talk about

But it wasnt pretty

A bunch of boys addicted to drugs is not a healthy situation at all

I dont even remember eating...

After that went belly up i had a friend take me in

And basicly allowed him to treat me however

Not that he was a terrible person or anything

I just let him be dominant over me for the sske of a place to stay

Which now that im coming back into my stride

Gave me some submissive habits that are gonna be tough to break healthily with the way my presence makes others feel

We had a common trauma that we bonded over

Which one one hand is the reason i think of that one chick from high school they i do still...

Basicly his live went unrequited

And mine well...idk

I just wanted to try and fix it for him

But long story short he wasnt capable

Same with me

I mean wheat done is done and everything is in the place it settled in

But watching someone go from the happy go lucky young adult

To regressing to the mind set he was in when he was happy with this person thinking she stilled liked him

Its either he realized she never did or he doesnt want to go back.

But it fucked me up

Which left me to want her more over the years

Because she's the only one i was aware of then that could without a doubt make me happy

Going against me cultivating a sense if self worth after the way that relationship ended, being disowned by my granddad iver some mail order whore, and being labeled as an undesirable in the community i was living in after some drug shenanigans everyone around me was involved in

I chalk it up to something to fixate on these days

But idk i hope im able to keep that person in my life forever

Even if our paths are diverging

I dont think i would have made it without him

After all that bs the house i was living in after moving out of there for a while

Although i did cuck my landlord on the couch after a party once

I wasnt even fucking the same

It was my first time with someone that moaned

And it was so hot at first, but she was so loud, the first time she would have woken up my land lord, the second time the door was broken to the garage and therr was a room full of people just on the other side, and the third time a house of people called me a rapist.

Which scared the shit out of me

Thinking back i should have just covered he mouth or told her to stfu you or something...would have been hot...so hot

But thay really messed with thr way i deal with women now....

Led me to not trust a lot of situations

And im hoooot so i should...:(

Idk :/

Basicly disappeared for s while after that

Had a couple good semesters at college

Which left me feeling on top of the world with an art bubble ready to pop

And then the world went to shit and i decided to do some cocky shit i regretted for a little bit but like...time and shit ya know

Oh yeah and obligatorily being ostracized from my community because i have different tastes in life style...that never gets old

Idk...i feel like the worst is finally over with

[seno99]

Rant About 4 Australian Men

Okay. Here we go. I hate when people compare 5sos to a boyband and/or one direction. First of all 1d actually WAS a boyband, and second of all, 5sos is a little too "punk" (lol, or sassy would work better) to be boybandy. Uhg. Lol. Like no offense but if you think 5sos is a boyband go fuck a cactus. Like, no. If you hate them for no reason, go fuck a cactus. Like bye Felicia. I mean, how do the lyrics from their new album scream BOYBAND. Even some of their old songs, I get that some of their older music might make people see them as a boyband but stfu. That was the past. The present is now, so get your head outta your ass. * * * Invisible: "who am I, who am i, when I don't know myself? Who am i, who am i? Invisible.... the walls were built to keep me safe, but it's too late.." Broken Home: "Hey mom hey dad when did this end, when did you lose your happiness. I'm here alone inside of this broken home. Whose right whose wrong, who really cares. The fault the blame the pains still there. You gotta let it go, you're losing all your hope. Nothing left to hold. Locked out in the cold. You're painted memories they washed out all the scenes, I'm stuck in between, a nightmare and lost dreams." Vapour: "I want to breath you in like you're vapour, I want to be the one you remember, I want to feel your love like the weather: all over me, all over me. I want to print our hands in the pavement, savor your words i won't ever waste them, look in your eyes and know just what you meant so just lie to me, just lie to me." Outer space: "Guess I was running, from something, i was running back to you. Lost here in london, with nothing, I'm still running back to you. If you could love me again, I could let go of everything. Darkest night, never felt so bright with you by my side. The darkest night never felt so bright, with you by my side. Nothing like the rain, nothing like the rain, when you're in outer space, when you're in outer space. Love me like you did, love me like you did, I'll give you anything, I'll give you anything." Carry On: "Carry on, let the good times role. Sail on, let your path unfold. It won't be long, it won't be long, it won't be long, it won't be long. You know it's gonna get better, you know it's gonna get better. Say a prayer, for the broken bones, cause who cares, we're all going home, and it won't be long, it won't be long, it won't be long, it won't be long. I got one foot in the golden life, one foot in the gutter, so close to the other side, so far from the wonder. One foot in golden life, one foot in the gutt, so sick of the tug of war, it keeps pulling me under. Let the good times role, let the good times role. Carry on, outlast the ignorance, moving on, survive the innocence. It won't be long, it won't be long, it won't be long, you know it's gonna get better." Waste the Night: "I don't wanna say goodbye to another night, and watch you walk away. I don't wanna let it burn in the city lights, and make the same mistakes. I don't wanna waste it, don't wanna waste it, I don't wanna waste it, don't wanna waste it, I don't wanna waste tonight. I don't wanna say goodbye to another night. I don't wanna let it burn in the city lights. I don't wanna say goodbye to another night, I don't don't wanna let it burn in the city lights, and watch you walk away. I don't wanna waste it." Beside You: "Within a minute I was all packed up, I've got a ticket to another world. I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go. The silent words are hard to speak, when your thoughts are all I see, "Don't ever leave," she said to me. When we both fall asleep underneath the same sky, to the beat of our hearts at the same time. So close but so far away. Can you hear me? She sleeps alone. My heart wants to come home. I wish I was, I wish I was beside you. She lies awake. I'm trying to find the words to say. I wish I was, I wish I was beside you. Another day and I'm somewhere new. I made a promise that I'll come home soon. Bring me back, bring me back to you. When we both wake up underneath the same sun, time stops, I wish that I could rewind. So close but so far away. There are pieces of us both, under every city light, and they're shining as we fade into the night. She sleeps alone. My heart wants to come home. I wish I was, I wish I was..." The Only Reason: "Don't talk, let me think it over. How we gonna fix this? How we gonna undo all the pain? Tell me, is it even worth it? Looking through a straight line, taking back the time we can't replace. All the crossed wires, just making us tired. Is it too late to bring us back to life? When I close my eyes and try to sleep I fall apart, I'm fighting hard to breathe. You're the reason, the only reason. Even though my dizzy head is numb, I swear my heart is never giving up. You're the reason, the only reason. I feel you burning under my skin. I swear I see you shining, brighter than the flame inside your eyes. Bitter words spoken, everything broken. It's never too late to bring us back to life. Oh, oh, oh, only reason, the only reason. Oh, oh, oh, only reason, the only reason." If You Don't Know: "Tonight we're fading fast. I just wanna make this last. If I could say the things that I wanna say, I'd find a way to make you stay, I'd never let you get away. Catch you in all the games we've played, so go ahead, rip my heart out. Show me what love's all about. Go ahead, rip my heart out. That's what love's all about. If you don't know, then just let me go. Let's forget the past. I swear we'll make this last. 'Cause I remember the taste of your skin tonight, and the way that you looked, you had those eyes. I remember the way it felt inside, and the names of the songs that made you cry. You would scream, we would fight, you would call me crazy, I would laugh, you were mad, but you always kissed me, and the shirt that I had, that you always borrowed. When I woke, it was gone, there was no tomorrow. I want you to want me this way, and I need you to need me to stay. If you say that you don't feel a thing. If you don't know Let me go. Let me go. If you don't know, then just let me go." Wherever You Are: "For a while we pretended, that we never had to end it. But we knew we'd have to say goodbye. You were crying at the airport, when they finally closed the plane door. I could barely hold it all inside. I could fly a thousand oceans, but there's nothing that compares to what we had, and so I walk alone. I wish I didn't have to be gone. Maybe you've already moved on. But the truth is I don't want to know. You can say we'll be together, someday. But nothing lasts forever, and nothing stays the same. So why can't I stop feeling this way? Torn in two, and I know I shouldn't tell you, but I just can't stop thinking of you.. Wherever you are..." (Now the two songs that made all of the fans cry at least once.) Jet Black Heart: "Everybody's got their demons, even wide awake or dreaming. I'm the one who ends up leaving. Make it okay. See a war I want to fight it, see a match I want to strike it. Every fire I've ignited, faded to grey. No that I'm broken, now that you know it, can you see inside. 'Cause I’ve got a jet black heart, and there’s a hurricane underneath it, trying to keep us apart. I write with a poison pen, but these chemicals moving between us, are the reason to start again. Now I’m holding on for dear life. There’s no way that we could rewind, maybe there’s nothing after midnight, that could make you stay. The blood in my veins, is made up of mistakes. Let’s forget who we are, and dive into the dark. As we burst into color, returning to life." Wrapped Around Your Finger: "Throwing rocks at your window at midnight. You met me in your backyard that night. In the moonlight you looked just like an angel in disguise. My whole life seemed like a postcard. You were mine for a night, I was out of my mind. You were mine for a night, I don't know how to say goodbye. Throwing rocks at your window at midnight, you met me in your backyard that night. You were mine for a night, I was out of my mind. You were mine for a night, I don't know how to say goodbye. Making all our plans in the Santa Cruz sand that night. I thought I had you in the palm of my hand that night. Screaming at the top of my lungs 'til my chest felt tight. I told myself that I'm never gonna be alright. You had me wrapped around your finger, I'm wrapped around your finger." * * * Lol yes i just used two hours to write those lyrics. So yes, if you think they're a shitty band and should die then fuck you. Fuck you. And if you don't have at least a little respect towards them after this, still, very kindly, fuck off. They don't need your hate bc they slaying and doing things you ain't never gonna do boo. Bye Felicia.