#still sad about all his magnets and postcards

[drewminyart]

a still life of jean‘s dresser in his second year of living with cat and laila

featuring:

- a mug made in their shared ceramics class and gifted by jeremy

- an origami fox courtesy of renee

- a collection of shells from cat

- a camera gifted by laila

- jeremy‘s yoyo

- daffodils (from jeremy)

- a friendship bracelet (laila)

- handwritten notes (cat, laila, jeremy)

- photos of jeremy and renee

(i firmly believe that once the others cotton on to how much jean likes to have handwritten notes/keepsakes they start leaving them for him all over the house)

[adamsrcnan]

i'm thinking about jean and his magnets and postcards again and it seriously breaks my heart. the way he pulled out that first postcard and his heart sank when he saw the writing was blotted out and how he desperately spread them all out trying to find any still salvageable. and then the bear missing a piece and the hope that maybe the missing bit was at the bottom of the box but there was nothing there so it would never be fixed. like they knew it was his favourite and purposely left it irreparable.

and i need to know so many things!!! like when was the first time kevin gave him each of them?? what made him think of jean and pick them up?? what had he written on the back of the postcards??

what did jean think and feel when kevin first gave him them??? did he clutch them desperately in his hand?? bc it had been so long since anyone had given him anything after he'd been snatched from his home and come to the nest empty handed and reduced to a number. did he immediately display them proudly in his room?? or did he keep them hidden at first?? afraid that riko or someone else would take them away from him.

why was the bear with the beret his favourite??? what if it's because kevin handed it to him a stupid smile on his face saying "this one reminded me of you" and jean looks at it skeptically and says "why?? bc of the beret and i'm french?" and kevin just snickers a little and jean rolls his eyes and kevin says something teasingly in french newly taught by jean and jean feels something pull at his chest and he clutches the magnet tighter and says a curt thank you but every time he looks at it he'll remember how kevin smiled at him and how for a second they felt like normal kids and not helpless caged animals. and then he gets them back and they're broken and ruined but they're the only thing he's truly owned in so long so of course he will keep then forever even if he can't bear to look at them anymore. even if the thought of them damaged and destroyed makes him sick to his stomach.

and then!! and then there's jeremy who notices when jean's gaze lingers on the magnets on cat and laila's fridge and gets all excited when he spots jean's collection and tells him they can make room on the fridge and isn't aware of the sadness jean probably has to force down when he tells him they don't stick anymore and how jeremy automatically assumes it's because they were well-worn and sentimental bc he has no idea how much they meant to jean and how they were used as a way to get to him to hurt him.

my heart hurts it really hurts thinking about it. i really hope the trojan's start gifting him some and he starts a new collection and idk maybe jeremy learns the truth about what happened to them and tries his best to fix them up again or even searches desperately to find the same ones and maybe kevin hears about it too and starts sending jean new ones whenever he travels so that one day jean will think of those old ones or even see them up on his fridge or in a drawer and he won't feel an ache in his chest anymore.

[heidiblack]

Convention Review: C2E2

Convention: Chicago Comic & Entertainment Expo (C2E2)

Location: Chicago, IL

Date: Dec 10-12 (Fri-Sun)

Table cost: $462

Table size: 8'

Table placement: F-03; the artist alley was in the back corner from the entrance, the only thing further were the autograph booths

Items for sale: 11x17" posters (fanart and original), tutorial artbook, coloring book, original comic (sons of fire), zines (fanart and original; sfw and nsfw), postcards (4.25x5.5", fanart and original), pins (original), resin coasters and jewelry

New items/display: Primogem charm necklaces/keychains, black backdrop with posters mounted via magnet, raised poster prices from $15 to $20

Mask policy: All attendees/vendors required to show proof of vaccination, which was checked multiple times, masks required at all times, staff was great about enforcing mask policies.

Previously attended? No

Application: Juried

Pros: 8' table, well known convention which usually has huge draw

Cons: artists are in the far back, huge artist alley can be difficult for attendees to get the whole way through, very expensive table, the whole hall is kind of dark and unwelcoming, expensive parking in downtown Chicago

Most popular item(s): Posters (70), pins (35)

Least popular item(s): coloring book (1), commissions (0)

One of the biggest changes I've noticed in the convention scene over the last 10 years is the inclusion of all kinds of fandoms at comic conventions, and not just the mainstream (dc, marvel, dark horse, etc) American comics and entertainment (star wars). Now, video games, anime, horror, and all kinds of other subcultures are widely represented at conventions. Big name anime, like Kimetsu No Yaiba (Demon Slayer), and video games like Genshin make up a huge group of cosplayers and attendees. Thinking back to HeroesCon in 2011, where I made about $200, all while being snubbed by the comic crowd, today's conventions are a significantly more inclusive group.

C2E2 is run by the same group (ReedPop) as New York Comic Con, and similarly has fairly good organization. However, the McCormic Center in chicago where this is held is a complete maze (I even looked at the maps of the center before going and still got lost several times), and I wound up walking a literal mile, including up 3 flights of stairs, to and from my car to my table each day (I google mapped it, it is in fact a mile). Likewise, the load in/out procedures are very unclear, and while they have staff helping, it was difficult to find that staff, and I wound up having to walk almost 2 miles around the show floor to get a load out slip. Then, I had to wait in line for almost 2 hours to load my 2 suitcases (a little bit too much to wheel to my car on uneven parking lots and in very cold/windy weather) as giant vans for huge displays went in front of me (it literally took me 10 minutes to get everything in my car AND use the bathroom!)

Most of the crowd was really good about wearing masks, but one of the "artists" across from me (was he an artist? I'm not sure) not only kept taking off his mask, he decided to stand in the middle of the aisle handing out flyers SANS MASK. The show had given us paperwork with a phone number to contact if we noticed issues, but the number connected to the general building security, who weren't sure what to do about someone not masking. Some staff eventually walked by and I was able to talk to them about the person not masking.

(Like NYCC, I did notice a lot of people who just seemed to be straight up pinup/poster artists in the alley - including one of my neighbors who had nothing but tits&ass art - and while I know not everyone does comics, I did wonder why some of these people were in the alley. However, there were also a ton of amazing artists who I'm sad I didn't get a chance to buy from!)

C2E2 is another convention that "you can't help but make money at," according to others who have done it before. All conventions have waves of traffic, but the waves at C2E2 were fairly extreme, with times that were completely dead (usually the last hour of each day) to the point I could get up and go walk around. Covid, of course, made this a weird year, but I'm finding that my profits don't scale with the size of a convention; rather, the artist alley size scales and the price increases making my totals about the same as other conventions.

TL;DR: C2E2, like NYCC, is a very expensive convention, but if you're good enough to get in you're probably going to make at least a little money. Be prepared to walk a lot - though at least next year it won't be in the freezing cold, instead in the August heat and the same weekend as Gencon.

Gross sales: >$2500

Recommend/will attend again? Unsure. My sister/friends have expressed interest in going as they are big cosplayers which would certainly help cut costs, and I would be interested if I could carpool/hotel share with other artists or attendees.

Other 2021 convention reviews:

Anime Ohio

Inconjunction

Gem City

AnimaticCon

Westwood Art Show/second saturdays

Cincinnati Comic Expo

New York Comic Con

Voltcon

Anime Weekend Atlanta

Art on Vine Con+Alt+Delete Anime Zap (2022)

These reviews take a lot of time and effort, but I think they are something the artist alley community needs! If you would like to support me so I can keep doing these, please consider donating or buying from my shops!

https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=JBTBC5WRMRTJ2

Storenvy

Etsy

[hayuryu]

Seventeen 1st Full Album "Love Letter"

Okay, today I'll post about Seventeen 1st Full Album

Love Letter

It's come with 2 version, Love version and Letter version

I've already told you in my post before, this album style is like old diary (you can find it in my Ode to You concert DVD post) and in this album if there's magnets in the case, so if you close it they'll be like 'plop' sound (idk if you know what I mean or not hahahaa, I'm not good with explaining things, but I tried okay). Idk if it's same for Ode to You DVD, I'm forget hahahaa

Actually I like the color of this album, it's like pastel color (not really fans of pastel color but it's cute)

Love version

This album have like dreamy concept

Maybe it's they think it's like dreamy when you're in love for first time (this my own interpretation hahahaa)

As I remember they wear all white in this photobook

And do the photoshoot in beach with some conch and feathers

Oh, and I like the silver feathers in cover

Fyi, I really like this album. It's so sturdy

This the best design for Seventeen albums so far (I mean it's the best design for seventeen albums that I have. I think I almost have it all except for japan version for their Korean album, some Carat version for Japanese album and Taiwan ver for their album. Oh, but I have 17Hits one. I'll also post about it next time. Idk why I didn't buy that. Maybe because the contain is same with korean one the difference is just their photocard. And I'm not photocard collectors)

This is back

There's track list on it

Actually I really like their performance. It's like a musical

The song also so good

They also have another MV for Love Letter song (if you curious about what they wear in photoshoot you can watch that MV. Cuz the clothes in the photobook same as the clothes in that MV)

Btw, I'm quite sad with Pretty U MV. They don't have dance part in that MV. It's just party...

And Mingyu got his driver's license for this MV hahahaa (maybe you already know that)

I got Vernon bookmark

On this album instead of photocard they give us bookmark

There also sticker and some postcards (I guess you get 3 postcards for each album and it's not random)

Letter version

For Letter version, they act like a boyfriend

It's like date with your boyfriend kind of pictures

And they also do photoshoot with necklace (maybe the concept is they will go on a date with you and give necklace as first date present)

For the back it's actually same

They've track list on it

Another TMI, man.se song by hiphop team was inspired by Joshua acrostic poem... (hope I'm not wrong with this)

I'm forget when but that time Shua make acrostic poem with Manse

And he said

Man: Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday

Se: Saturday

And if you read Man.se lyrics or listen to that song you can hear "Monday to Saturday" lyrics

For this version I got The8 bookmark

Fyi, you can see diamond shape things in bookmark, they cut the V things in diamond so you can slip your book page into it. And that diamond shape is same as the necklace they used in photoshoot

They also give us sticker and 3 postcards (it's different from Love version)

Another addition information, Seventeen got first win with this album title track "Pretty U"

And it's on 4th May (it's on my friend birthday)

I still remember when we watch Show Champions together in our boarding house and then they announced that seventeen win that week with Pretty U. We're crying together. And she's like I'm happy, it's my birthday and Seventeen 1st win also in my birthday (it's TMI hahahaa)

They also crying (well, it's Leader line with Seungkwan) and their shocked face is cute

If you want to see it, you can search it on YouTube

Oh, I have another TMI hahaaa

Today is my birthday ^^

Well, happy birthday to me

I'm happy cuz my friend congratulates me first this year (she usually congratulates EXO Sehun first)

Yup, my birth date is same as Sehun hahahaaa

It's because I'm sulking if she congratulates Sehun first (I'm quite petty right... but I'm closer to her than Sehun so, she should congratulate me first right)

Well, she's Sehun fans but I'm her friend for more than 10 years

That's all for today

I'll try to post again today (if I'm not busy celebrating my birthday)

See you again in next post

I'll just need to post 17Carat, Going Seventeen and Heng:garae

Oh, I forget that I have 17Hits album. I'll post it next time too

See you~

Wow, I write quite a lot this time too

And a lot of TMI too hahahaaa

[lgvalenzuela]

Thanks to @annabelle-tanaka-official for the tag

MORGABY

A: Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

Barnaby finds Morgana’s patience and compassion extremely compelling, the way she listens to you without ever interrupt you, taking in account everything you say, and always gives you good advice. The way she loves to learn and teach, she will listen and talk about everything. He also loves her laugh. Physically he finds her really pretty, but the thing he likes the most is that how she’s apparently always blushing.

Morgana loves the way she can really feel like a teenager without responsibilities with him, do things that are simply fun, that he’s the funniest person she knows. But also, that he yearns to improve, he wants to be better and really work for it. Physically she can’t help herself; she likes how strong he is.

Both love feeling like they really understand each other.

B: Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

They were extremely excited about the prospect of having a big (probably beautiful given their genes) family. But that idea quickly got shut down after having their first and only child after some horrible things happened during the war Morgana was unable to have more children. They thought it was probably for the best, since the first pregnancy was very traumatic and Morgana was busy after the war, but it was one of the saddest things that happened during their adulthood.

C: Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

Morgana is really private, to the point that no one saw them kiss on the lips until their wedding, but everyone notices they get attracted to one another like magnets whenever they’re in the same room together, they stand as close as possible to each other and maybe Morgana holds his arm. If Morgana is incredibly stressed maybe they would see Barnaby give her a little shoulder massage, or the other way around.

D: Dates (What are dates with them?)

They usually go to the farmers market or going antique shopping, because they’re like a boring old married couple, but they have fun. They just enjoy each other’s company, going on walks together, going to the zoo…no matter how soft and boring it sounds, they just like it. They also go to all the fairs that they can so Barnaby can win her as much plushies as humanly possible.

E: Everything  (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…))

Both agree: You are my future.

F: Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

Damien told Barnaby he was obviously in love with Morgana, since he always talked about her with such care and love. He was very confused until he heard Morgana tell two judgemental Ravenclaws (that asked her what did she like of being friends with Barnaby if she couldn’t engage intellectually) that they’ve obviously never talked with Barnaby about something he was genuinely interested in, and she didn’t partake of the kind of intellectual dishonesty of believing you’re superior to others.

Morgana isn’t actually sure when it happened, it was slow, gentle and imperceptible, she just one day knew she would do anything if it meant Barnaby could be happy. She just knew at the begginig of Year 4 and she’s been smitten ever since.

G: Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

Very much so. It’s more noticeable with the affectionate way they touch and stroke each other’s faces. But Morgana also softly grips on his clothes or take his arm, so she won’t lose him. Barnaby is more forward he kisses her face a lot and puts their foreheads together so they can look into each other’s eyes.

H: Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

Intertwining their fingers.

I: Impression (What was their first impression?)

Morgana thought he was really funny, and Barnaby though she was really sweet.

J: Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

No.

K: Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

Morgana initiated the first Kiss because Barnaby gave her all the time, she needed to overcome her shyness a little. Their kisses are…private.

L: Love (Who’s says ‘I love you’ first?)

Barnaby.

M: Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)

Kissing for the first time, because they tried for six months and they had a really deep and meaningful conversation before it happened.

N: Nickle (Do they spoil one another? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

They’re more of an arts and crafts, doing something from the heart kind of couple.

O: Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

For Morgana is autum colors or blue, for Barnaby is jade.

P: Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

Very classical, like the old married couple that they are: my love, dear, darling…

Q: Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

Morgana: China tea sets.

Barnaby: Postcards.

R: Rainy day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

They go to the field or the countryside to see all the creatures that only go outside when it rains. And after they curl up together on the coach with a blanket, so Morgana can read them a book.

S: Sad (How do they cheer each other up?)

They understand each other very well, so mostly they hug tightly and talk openly about their problems, try to give each other good advice. Morgana also brings him to see puffskins, nifflers…cute things that would make Barnaby happy. And Barnaby makes her tea and sweets.

T: Talking (What do they talk about?)

Whatever comes to mind, which leads to the weirdest topics sometimes.

U: Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

A good cup of tea and a book for Morgana, petting various cute creatures for Barnaby.

V: Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?

Barnaby likes to show off his muscles and how many things he can win for Morgana on fairs, he’s really proud of how strong he is. Morgana likes to show of her knowledge of various topics and her ingenuity to think of spells (and sometimes cute dresses), she’s really proud of her planning skills.

W: Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

Barnaby planned (with the help of Andre and Mercy, avid Morgaby shippers) a really cute proposal where he would take her to the place where they had their first date and give the staff a cup of tea where ‘Will you marry me’ was written at the bottom. Anyway, everything went wrong, he even made it sound like he was breaking up with her and forgot the ring.

So when his intentions were clear enough, Morgana proposed instead.

They married in 1999 in their own house, their wedding was garden/tea/antique themed.

X: Xylophone (What’s their song?)

You matter to me from Waitress.

Y: Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

Yes, especially after having their child.

Z: Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

After moving in together they have a cat, a dog, a niffler, a thestral and Barnaby Junior still lives with them.

For Damien and Ben

For Mercy, Penny, Talbott, Badeea and Diego.

For Emily and Merula

[mameleh-life]

Life is what you make it

I learned at a very young age that life is what you make it, we can be sad about things and that's okay cause were all human and sadness is a part of that but theres a point where we just need to look at the life Gd gave us from a new perspective. I've had alot of sadness in my life and alot of stuff I never want to think about and I recently learned that hey I dont have to think about it I could just find my chill and it's okay to have scars everyone carries pain with them now more than ever, but we can use that resilience to past pain as an armor to help us through crazy times like these and so maybe theres a hashgacha in it anyone whos felt scared, loss, trauma these are wounds that heal eventually and we learn from them but we also get stronger and like a beautiful thing I heard recently is were all just pieceing our lives together and ain't that the truth especially now when its literally that, day by day piecing our life together bit by bit.

So I totally get this concept becaus when I was a kid I started to collage as an artform because I'm the kind of person who saves old birthday cards and letters in my jewelry box and like twenty years later I reread them so I could recapture that memory I'm the one who actually cries from greeting cards the one percent who actually get teary-eyed over a cartoon koala saying I hug you very much or something like that or like some uplifting quote magnet will occasionally make me start to cry if I really feel that at the moment. But at the same time I also have been through some pretty heavy stuff throughout my life and as much as I'm emotional I also get back up again and I take those broken pieces and I start a collage. So what started as a hobby with scraps of paper old photos old letters all the things I kept anyways, postcards, magazines etc became like a whole creative way for me to make art that I hung on my walls for years and I would give them as gifts and what's cool about collage is that it takes what is essentially destined for the recycling bin and makes it into something really beautiful to look at🙌 well in life I realized I have to look at it as scraps of the proverbial "stuff" that isnt always pretty to look and maybe is something that caused me pain and I wanna just black it out and I realized instead of doing that I can just look at it from a different perspective it's just a part of who I am who made me me and it may not be pretty but its uniquely me and the gorgeous thing about life is we all have our unique story it's what makes us individual but it's also what strengthens us for times like these when we need to be tough and keep doing what we gotta do cause for single mamas we have babies and they need us to be on it at all times.

I read this book to Lil every night for like a year because it comforted me as much as it comforted her it's the most incredible book and it's all about looking at life from a beautiful perspective, it's about being hopeful and optimistic but it's also about loss and about how imperfect life is in a very gentle way for kids to understand subtly and not be scared. Its about a beautiful blanket that a zeidy sews for his grandson but as time goes on the fabric fades and rips tears and gets ruined. Every time the grandfather has to rework the fabric into something new but equally cool and the reader learns that in life stuff happens and we have to just push forward and rework our life and readjust our perspective and we can still be very happy it's just learning to adapt. Layla wanted a place to keep her mitzvah notes she doesnt have school anymore but she wanted to keep the mitzvah notes going because my baby girl is an angel and she's my daily inspiration. And so I took a piece of paper I found on the floor and made something really awesome or at least Layla thought so✨

And it's like when Layla and Tuli wanted to go to Disneyworld there was no way I could get them there too many things were happening in my life so I took them to the glass carousel and told them it was like Disneyworld and i never saw Tuli that happy and in total awe and Layla told me after she wanted to go back a million times [we did visit way too many times after] and I never heard about Disneyworld again because in life it really is what we make it, it really is how we look at things if we want life to be full of joy it can be if we want to focus on the positives we want to overcome pain we can it's all in us we just have to turn that fabric of our life around a few times in our hands take it all in and change our point of view and with that attitude a person can get through anything even with babies and even with scars whatever it is and kal vichomer when time passes that quilt of your life pieced together with scraps could actually be a gorgeous weave of who we are and how we got to where we are 🙌

[fandomness--randomness]

Could I have a hc or scenario for Bakugou finding out his s/o was not just from a rich family but a mafia one???

I legit forgot I had this in my inbox, but I had so much fun writing this so I hope you like it ealgbuaigba If yall want a part 2, just request babes

You knew Bakugou wasn’t stupid. He would find out you weren’t just a normal girl in a school for students pursuing medical careers. He would find out you weren’t just a girl from a rich family who wanted to be a doctor. He would find out that your family was really one of the biggest mafia’s in Japan, if not THE biggest. You just didn’t know it’d happen so soon or at all.

….

….

You sighed again as another 40 something-year-old man called you beautiful in an attempt to win your hand and take over the mafia business. Your fingers glanced over the black mask covering your face from those around you.

“Sweetheart, be careful with your mask. You know the rules of this ball.” Your father coed, rubbing your head affectionately.

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah yeah. Look as presentable as a royal person.”

“Which I would say is quite easy for us.” He teased.

You smiled up at him before moving across the underground ballroom floor. Your family, the head of the Star Mafia, was infamous in the underground world for leaving no traces of their crimes. But the rare moments when someone did actually mess up? They were dead within minutes of that evidence being found.

The (L/N) family had eyes and ears everywhere, so it wasn’t uncommon for someone to go missing in your family’s business. As the only child of your parents, you were expected to take over the head of the mafia once you turned 18.

At first, you were all for it, as the mafia was your family. Among the elites that worked with your parents, many of them were like uncles and aunts to you. They had been there with you since you were a baby and didn’t try to hurt you in any way. One of them even took you to Universal Japan Studios for your 8th birthday!

That is until you met Bakugou. He changed your life the moment you met him. And not in the “love made them different” way, no. When the two of you first met in the library, you hated each other. Every little thing he did irked you and everything you did angered him. It was a never-ending cycle.

That is until you saw a group of teens your age surrounding a girl. You couldn’t just let them pick on her, seeing yourself as the little girl. A girl hadn’t been the head of the mafia in decades, or really ever, so grown men would try to intimidate you out of it when you were only seven. But you stood your ground. And that’s what you did in that instance.

Using your quirk, you made the bullies run in fear. However, you did not stay with the girl, only turning on your heel and walking away from her still shaking form. That’s when Bakugou took an interest in you.

From there, your relationship only blossomed with him. Although the two of you went to different schools, the two of you took time every weekend to see each other. The two of you would skype call while you did homework. You even had a habit of sending him letters with postcards and printed pictures of the places you visited with your family like Hawaii.

But through these interactions with him that eventually lead to the two of you dating…your heart softened. Your heart was no longer the cold stone that was not afraid to hire a hitman. Your heart was now a soft clay being molded by Bakugou and his morals. His motives. And most importantly.

His love for you.

And so, now the two of you were in the second year and you were struggling with your mafia duties. To take them or abandon them. However, you would be running for your entire life if you did the latter. And either way, you’d have to keep it a secret from Bakugou.

But with the second option…you’d be with Bakugou.

You sighed into your glass of some fruity drink the bartender gave you. Your (e/c) orbs scanned over the crowd of criminals. It might have just been your own heart being torn into two from the conflicting wants of your brain and your heart, but something in the air made you…uneasy.

With your drink in hand, you moved out of the hall, your sleek black dress fluttering behind you with a grace that rivaled a swan’s. You took a deep breath as you entered the surprisingly bright corridor.

Leaning against the wall, you sipped on your fruity drink again.

“Didn’t expect to see the woman of the party to be out here alone.” A rough voice said, startling you.

Jumping off of the wall, you whirled around to where the voice originated from, finding a boy who looked to be your age standing there with his hands behind his back. His brown hair was slicked back in an attempt to be formal, but strands poked out of the sides in certain places. His deep hazel eyes seemed to bore into your figure, as if he was interrogating you.

You shivered under his gaze.

“I didn’t expect anyone else to be out here.” You replied, straightening your back and looking as presentable as a princess. “And what do you mean “woman of the party”?” You asked.

The boy shrugged. “I’ve been hearing people talk about you, talk about wanting to talk to you, and other…things.” His voice trailed off and his cheeks seemed to turn red, although it was difficult to see under the mask that hid his face.

You sighed, knowing what he meant. “Forty-year-old men?”

“Yup.”

“I’m used to it don’t worry. As the only daughter of the (L/N) family, it’s only something that comes with the job.” You said offhandedly, waving your hand in the air as you turned your back to him. You weren’t worried about telling others who you were. Everyone in the ballroom was underground criminals and they knew what would happen to them if they did something against you or your family.

The masks and extra guards were just protection against the small percentage of attacks against you by heroes.

“But I must ask,” you started, “what unit are you apart of?” You turned to face the boy, who seemed tense as a pole. “I like to make sure I at least know the features of those who work under my family. You look new.”

The boy seemed to swallow back a ball of fear, making you laugh. “Don’t worry, I’m not persecuting you. I only want to know your name and the unit you work under.” You couldn’t help yourself from stepping forward. The boy in front of you was like a magnet. He interested you. He gave you this familiar…feeling that you couldn’t place your finger on.

“After all, I’ll have to be your boss one day. That means I’ll be the head of this giant family that my great great grandparents made. And family is important, is it not?” you asked, smiling up at him.

The boy seemed to have some trouble figuring out how to answer you, his eyes darting to the floor and ceiling and everywhere except your figure. After a minute or two of silence, he finally let out a sad sigh. Looking into your (e/c) hues, he answered.

“My name’s Bakugou Katsuki. And I’m with the pro heroes.”

Your face paled. Not at the mention of heroes, no. At the mention of his name.

Stepping back, you stared at him with wide eyes.

“Ka-Katsuki?” You stuttered.

The boy pulled off his mask and with some difficulty, pulled something from his eyes. Looking back up, you saw the familiar red hues of the determined eyes you had fallen in love with.

Tears welled up in your eyes and your breath hitched in your throat. This…this wasn’t supposed to happen. You made sure Bakugou would have never been involved or even know of your secret. But here he was.

“The heroes are starting to storm the place as we’re speaking.” He said in a quiet voice.

As feeling began to return to your body, you let out a quiet “I’m sorry” before turning on your heel and running into the hall. You knew the mafia was a bad place full of bad people. But there were also good people here. Good people that just needed to provide for their families.

Your family wasn’t one of those families. Your family had gotten rich by illegal means, but in your eyes, you protected those that were in the mafia for their family. And so, you slammed open the doors of the ballroom and yelled as loudly as you could,

“RUN! THE PROS ARE HERE!”

Chaos took hold immediately. People ran in different directions, running for the secret passageways hidden in the walls. You ran forward, looking for your mother and father. You had to tell them you loved them one last time before you three were separated forever.

But you never got the chance because, at that exact moment, the pros broke through the doors and began capturing villains and mafia members left and right.

You tripped on your dress as a line of fabric zipped across your ankles. Falling to the ground with a thud, you didn’t even try to move. You knew it was over.

Not only was it over for your family, but it was over for your future with Bakugou.

[3monthsineurope]

September 15, 2021

Happy 32nd Anniversary, Mom and Dad!

Haley and I got up around 8:30 and went over to Mom and Dad’s room. I called the Allergro again, and they still hadn’t found Flipper, which was pretty sad for me. It was our Covid testing day. I was actually the only one out of the four of us who hadn’t had a Covid test prior. I filled out some online forms for us, and then we went and got our nose swabbed, one by one. It definitely was uncomfortable, but I expected it to hurt more, so that was a relief. We waited around for about ten minutes and got our results printed for us—four negative test results, woo!

Next up, was breakfast at the buffet. This time we sat on the inside of the dining room. We all had coffee and water (sensing a pattern here?), and I had some sausage, hash browns, and a small waffle. Mom and Dad both got made to order omelettes that they really enjoyed. The dining room was decorated for Mexican Independence Day, which was fun!

After breakfast, we decided to get ready for the day, and head out of the resort and explore (the tourist part of) Cancun! Haley and I did our makeup, then met up with Mom and Dad around noon. We left the resort and went the right way this time, unlike the time on the first night, hahah. It was very hot! And I was wearing a long sleeve dress, because I didn’t want to get more sunburnt (I had got a little sunburnt the day before, and didn’t want to make it worse! Mom got me some aloe from the gift shop that cost $30, ouch.). We walked around and found some tourist shops. I ended up getting matching sleep shirts with Haley, and a magnet, and keychain. It was so weird, I couldn’t find any postcards in any of the shops! One shop owner asked me if we “wanted to party”, insinuating if we wanted drugs! And he asked me that, which was so funny to me. We walked around for a bit and shopped, then decided it was too hot to stay out. Mom was bummed because she wanted to keep shopping, but we promised we would be back in the evening. We found a cool “Cancun” sign and got a family photo, which was awesome!

We headed back to the resort and changed into our swimsuits and hit the pool. It was soooo hot! About 88 degrees with high humidity. The only way I could wear my hair was in a bun, off my neck, hahah. The four of us hung out in the pool, under an umbrella, because I try to be really cautious of the sun. We had the same waiter and he kept Haley and I’s wine glasses full! We told him it was Mom and Dad’s anniversary and he brought out some cake and champagne for them, it was so nice! Of course, Haley and I had the champagne, hahah. I had also discovered a drink called the Miami Vice, which was half strawberry daiquiri and half pina colada—that was sooo tasty! We ordered some lunch at the pool, which was really fun again!

Okay, now here comes a really crazy story. Dad had noticed a man the day before, who looked around his age, with his wife. Dad just thought he would be an interesting guy to talk to, with some things in common with Dad. Dad didn’t end up talking to him the day before, but while we were lounging around in the pool after lunch, we found ourselves next to this man. Dad and him got to talking, and he and his wife were really nice! We discovered that he was from Federal Way, which was cool! But you’ll never guess this—he had dated Mom’s best friend, Juanita, in high school! Mom brought up the one person she knows who graduated from Federal Way and he had dated her! She had kind of broke his heart when he went off to college! How crazy is that. His name was Mark and his wife was Kimmy. How crazy of a connection is that! We chatted with them for a bit, but then I needed a nap. To be honest, I was a little drunk and didn’t want to be anymore, hahah. I napped with our stuff while they all hung out, then Mom, Dad, and Haley came and got me when it was time to head up to the room. I rinsed off in our room, then napped for about 30 minutes. Then, I was ready for the night!

We wanted to go back into the town, so we changed and got ready. It was still really hot out, but much better without the sun beating down on us. We looked around at a few places, then ended up eating at a place with an ocean view, with 8 restaurants to order from! We shared a pizza, and I had a chicken burrito. We told our waiter it was Mom and Dad’s anniversary (basically we told everyone all week), and he brought them out some cake, which was so nice! After dinner, we explored a flea market style grouping of shops. I still couldn’t find a postcard, what the heck! We walked around for a bit and got a few things, then decided to head back to the resort. The tourist area was packed! Way to packed for me! There were lots of people drinking and at the club, so I was ready to go home, hahah.

We made it back to the hotel. There were fireworks for Independence Day, which was really cool! Dad went to the lobby with me and we got our photos done by the artist from the night before. THEY WERE AMAZING. I’m so glad we did them! Dad went to bed, while Haley, Mom, and I hung out at the lobby bar. But I was pretty pooped, so we called it an early night. Haley and I watched some TV, and fell asleep before midnight. :]

[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

A good place to die Chapter 21

Warning: harsh language, violence

I couldn’t have been asleep for more than an hour, but Penny was still pretty out of it. When I carefully wiggled out of the space between his arm and his shoulder, I realized he was truly asleep. There he lay, his huge form stretched out over my tiny bed, with his hands and feet dangling over the side – it was so cute I snapped a picture with my phone. Not wanting to wake him up (or has he started hibernating again? I’m not sure), I sat down at my desk and checked all the papers for the bookstore for the umpteenth time. Everything so far was ready to go – I had talked to the suppliers, Bee had helped me doing all the registration stuff which was now neatly filed away in a folder I swore to never touch again, and the bookkeeping was up to date. I had stored all of the money I had found hidden in the store as well as in the tiny apartment in a little book-safe auntie had given me, and I was positive I had enough “change” to keep the store running for half a year or so. Mr. Shank’s had never spent much, and it was now obvious he had belonged to the “I don’t trust no bank”-type of people.

I would be open for two hours every afternoon and a bit longer on Saturday. That should allow me to finish school work, study and still keep the store until graduation. Auntie surely hoped I would further improve my education, but I never felt any urge to leave Derry, and now I had a valid reason to stay.

Thinking about the opening, which would be in less than two weeks, made me slightly nervous. I wasn’t too sure if my persona would actually keep customers from coming, but on the other hand I was far more communicative since Penny had entered my life. Maybe I could do this after all.

Speaking of reasons to stay in Derry, mine just started… snoring. Well, technically it wasn’t really snoring, more like an exhausted, grunting purr, but it was loud enough to make the doors and my window vibrate. I couldn’t help myself but watch him as he slept. Despite his enormous size and the not-exactly human features there was still something vulnerable about him. The longer I stayed with him, the more details from our first encounter came back to me. He had been very aggressive back then, and wounded. I still could not fathom what that meant, but it seemed like it had left him… changed. Maybe our friendship would have never formed if that change never had occurred. Maybe he would have just granted me my wish and killed me in an instant.

Then again, I had joked about him eating me earlier today, and he had looked almost shocked at the idea. Whatever he was, I still felt no fear towards him. And I still wasn’t scared of dying or him eating me.

But I no longer craved it.

And I wanted to protect him. I didn’t care if he fed on my species (I guess I was, though I had changed a lot as well, still not exactly “human”), nor if people were scared of him.

I grabbed a spare blanket from my closet and gently wrapped it around Penny, as far as it was possible. Then I tip-toed downstairs and started to prepare dinner. There wasn’t much I knew about cooking, but I still managed some decent-smelling spaghetti tonno. Only then I realized auntie had left me a note on the table to inform me should would be late again – her boss currently did everything in his power to make her as miserable as possible. They had been two hands short for two and a half years now, and auntie was the one to fill both places while doing her regular job as well.

And it was showing. She had always been more of a plump, motherly type, but she had dropped weight quite profoundly. Her skin was sagging, and the tired bags underneath her eyes had become permanent. Speaking of her eyes, they had been so bloodshot as of late you could confuse her with an addict or something. I hated seeing her like that. Hopefully the bookstore would be profitable enough to allow her to stop working, at least at that horrible place. It had been alright until a couple of years ago, when the previous owner died, but now the restaurant had turned quite literally into a shithole. Only a few weeks back auntie had told me about roaches in the kitchen. She no longer ate there either.                                                                                                                                                                    

I put the rest of my dinner in the fridge and stuck a note to auntie to it. I was pretty sure she wouldn’t eat after work, but at least I could offer something home-made to her. When I checked back on Penny, he was still fast asleep (hopefully he wouldn’t stay like this for almost 30 years again), and I wrote him a note too, before I left for the store.

Once I arrived there, I made sure everything was where it belonged to. The door had been repaired (auntie had found somebody for the job, and, with my permission, paid him with some of the money from my inheritance), the store was neat and clean, and no further break-ins seemed to have occurred. Satisfied, I made my way to the back and up the stairs into the little apartment.

It smelled of old man, mold and dust. The stench was so intense I almost gagged, and I hurriedly opened all the windows. The lamps only glowed dimly when I turned them on, and I repeatedly bumped my toes on the junky that was scattered everywhere. This was actually the first time I set foot into the apartment, and it would take a lot of work to make habitable again. Mr. Shanks had kept the store in perfect order, while his home was the exact opposite: filthy and chaotic. Bits of decaying food lay scattered around and dirty rags and clothes adorned almost every bit of furniture. The windows were so dusty and covered in cobwebs they barely let in any light.

I took out my phone and made notes of everything I would need to at least clean out all the dirt. Then I started to hunt for stuff I would be able to use in the cupboards and drawers. Next to some very gross stuff, including rotting carcasses of rats and heavily stained boxer shorts, I managed to salvage a box of unused light bulbs, a roll of plastic bags, an almost empty box of rubber gloves and a flashlight, which was in surprisingly good condition and fully charged. Fully armed, I began the tedious work of clearing out the left-overs of Mr. Shanks.

I started by changing the bulbs in the small hallway, the living room and the kitchen – I didn’t feel comfortable enough to go either into the bedroom, the bath or the toilet. Thus illuminated, I proceeded by throwing all the dirty rags into a plastic bag, making my way from the hallway to the kitchen. The actual kitchen itself was tiny because an enormous, dark wooden dining table took up most of the space. The chairs around it must have been pretty old and would probably have some value if they had been properly cared for. But now they were nothing more than junk: the wood had been eaten away by bugs, and the upholstery almost entirely gone. Actually, I highly doubted they had been in use during the last five years at least, because of the shabby office chair I spotted at the end of the table. The chairs would have to be replaced, but the table still looked usable. I took a picture of it – I’d show it to Bee the next time I visited her. If she liked it, it would be one heavy thing less to remove.

By the time I had cleared the floor far enough to no longer hurt myself while walking around, the first two bags were entirely filled. Since the lamp shades really dimmed the light I removed them and threw them into the next bag – it was impossible to tell their original color, and they had a lot of spots that looked suspiciously like mold. I took a moment to stand by the window, inhaling the cold night air, and checked my phone. No news of Penny, and it would take another four hours for auntie’s shift to end. A quick look around revealed more details of the mess surrounding me: old wrappings in all sizes and colors, lots of dust and cobwebs, clothes, food, used dishes, single pages covered with unreadable notes, heaps of dead bugs, broken china and lots of other wonderful things had formed their very own universe, complete with its own scent and micro fauna.

I decided to not venture any further, but rather to try to rid all flat surfaces of all trash. That proved to be a good decision, because it took much longer than I had anticipated. It was an oddly sad job to sift through all the meaningless trinkets. To think that Mr. Shanks had once lived an active life outside the restraints of his own brain was something quite difficult for me – I had only known him as a confused, irritable old man. But here, among heaps of dirt, I was proven wrong with postcards of foreign mountains, beautiful photos of lakes and wildlife, and souvenirs from all over the world. Broken magnets with exotic sounding names of places and cities lay next to dead roaches, little key ring pendants depicting famous monuments hid beneath shards of broken glass and china, and fragments of discolored letters shared their space with old flyers and outdated newspapers. Hardly anything was whole and unbroken, and almost all the colors had faded or changed.

My labored breathing and my increasing heartbeat were the only sounds accompanying me as I threw away what remained of Mr. Shanks’ life. By the time I had freed the cupboards and the table from the burden of years, the hallway was stuffed with filled plastic bags and my clothes had turned the same grey-brown that coated the walls and the furniture. A quick glance at my phone told me it was time to return home and, to be honest, I really had no energy left to continue the tedious work.

As I bowed down to take some of the bags down to the trashcans, a sting inside my belly made me stop dead. The pain subsided a little rather quickly, but a strange queasiness remained. It wasn’t unbearable, but it still hurt enough to distract me, though I was pretty sure it couldn’t be dangerous.

Feeling somewhat irritated, I yanked at the bags piling up in front of me, and carried five of them downstairs. By the time they were safely stored inside the trashcans the dull pain had settled on a level of pain that made me long for a hot cushion to press against my belly. I hugged myself tightly as I made my way home, cursing a little under my breath. There was still no reply from Pennywise, and I wondered if he really was alright. My steps became faster and faster the more uneasy I felt, and within a minute I was jogging through the cold night.

When I finally arrived at our little house, I was completely out of breath. My lungs and my nostrils hurt from the cold air, my legs were shaking and I felt sick. I stripped down to my underwear as soon as I closed the door behind me, and hurriedly stuffed my clothes into the washing machine – fortunately the tiny storage room it was in was right next to the entrance. However, I could not completely avoid setting of little clouds of dust and dirt rising into the air, so I would have to clean the room thoroughly. The stench seemed to have dissipated into everyone of my pores, and now, against the comfy odors of my own home, was even more revolting than before.

As I could hear Penny’s sleeping grumbles even through the door of my room, I decided to hit the shower before I checked on him. Truth be told, I did not want to carry any remains of the flat into my room or my bed, and it was a relieve to feel the hot water on my cold, grimy skin. I turned up the heat as much as possible, not caring about my skin turning lobster red, and continued to distribute almost have a bottle of shower gel all over me. Only when every little part of me was covered in foam, including my hair, did I relax a little. I hadn’t realized how much my back was aching from the constant bending down, and the tension slowly faded from my shoulders. I let out an involuntary groan as I turned around and let the water flow over my belly. The pain subsided a little more, and I took the time to wash my face.

As soon as I could open my eyes again I wished I hadn’t done so. The water I was standing in was of a disgusting color, and the streams running down my body turned greyer with every inch. At least it didn’t smell the way it looked, and I hurried to cover myself in foam again. I even used the loofah auntie had given me for my birthday for the first time, only stopping when I had shed at least three layers of skin. My hair took even longer to cleanse. No matter how long I rinsed it, or how much shampoo I used, it didn’t seem to suffice. Only when the bottle was almost empty the water became more transparent, and by the time I felt clean again there was no hot water left.

The air in the bathroom had become so saturated with steam you could barely see anything. As I climbed out of the shower pain shot through my belly again, and a wave of nausea and dizziness hit me. I stumbled into the stink and desperately clutched at its slippery edge to steady myself. I felt a new sort of moisture covering my thighs while I desperately tried to figure out where up and down was. However, the steam wafting through the bathroom didn’t improve my sense of orientation, instead it added to the feeling of bewilderment and estrangement.

As if in a dream I stuck my hand between my legs and felt a hot liquid oozing out of me. I stared at my fingers, wondering about the dark blood clinging to them, unable to make any sense of the situation. A strange noise made me raise my head, and in a little clearing in the misted mirror a pair of unreal eyes stared back at me.

I turned around slowly, still very wobbly on my feet, and looked into Pennywise’s hungry yellow eyes, as he growled. Drool was covering his entire chin, his nose twitched at the scent of my blood, and he ducked the way cats do before they leap upon their prey. Madness radiated from him, and then he hurled himself towards me.                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

[guardiancherisher]

Deceptive Ford AU

Fandom: Gravity Falls AU type: timeline diversion from the exact time Stan would have gotten the postcard. Summary?: Instead of a postcard Stan gets a letter explaining how his brother Ford has died and has two final requests of his brother. 1. To go and live their dream of traveling on a boat to far off places. 2. Guard his most prized possession, a red and gold journal with his life. With it being the last thing of Ford Stan will ever have and after a ton of grieving (not even going to the funeral because he's banned and Filbrick.) Stan does just that. What he doesn't realize is that it's all a lie. Aka The AU in which Ford avoided his brother entirely and just went straight to using shadow government agents to fake his death because he just knew Stan would not be someone he could "reason" with in the desperate matter at hand. Notes: - Dipper and Mabel hang out on a boat all summer with Wendy and Soos - Ford than reveals he wasn't dead and has in fact been spying on the entire family. (Stan punches him for that) - Gideon has a Yacht of Telepathy. Bun is a used ship salesman (sailsmen? XD Pun!) - Bill is behind every monster and time traveler and the like attacking the ship to get the journal. - Dipper holds on to Journal #1 instead of #3 (Stan let's him hiding what it really means or it's just another case of "Carpet-Diem Stan") - Ford has been traveling the world following every Bill Cipher connection he can and it's gotten him into loads of trouble including temporary dimensional displacement from primitive Bill inspired Portal tech. It's not till then that he starts seeing all the symbols in the Cipher Wheel and figures it out for himself. That's why he comes back. - Stan still has a kind of Mystery Shack (or err boat) Telling stories to tourists with fakeish taxidermy for money in every port. Usually sob stories involving fake peg legs and eye patches. - the Stan-O-War name is hidden under the Mystery Ship sign. - Stan is a lot grumpier and sad in this AU - Weirdmageddon still happens as Mabel is tricked by Bill into opening a rift (from old portal tech Ford had with him) - When Ford meets Dipper it's like "My boy, it finally great to meet you as I have been been watching you for the past months leading up to this moment" Dipper starts to fan-style scream than say "wait? What?" And Ford just chuckles like his spying is morally sound or something - Stan still straight up jumps whenever he sees Ford or hears him. (Stan is simultaneously trying to avoid Ford and check on him to make sure he's not dreaming any of this up.) (Stan just wants an apology at the end) - Ford is the most manipulative butt you will ever know. Always trying to use the kids and the people around him to create the cipher wheel without telling them. (After just taking the symbols and trying to use them to create a spell of course which to Ford's dismay means it's about the people and not just the symbols) - Gravity Falls is basically the ocean and surrounding seaports. (Stan has his personal favorites of course) (that's also were weirdmageddon happens because Ford has been Bill proofing the world for quite a while so Bill is limited like in Cannon. (Not as cool as the weirdness magnetism theory but oh well)

[wordsinwinters]

Then Again, Part 22  Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: After an intense argument and a forced-to-share-the-bed situation during their junior year decathalon trip, Peter and the Reader examine their faults and failings. As they attempt to fix their mistakes and improve their friendship, that friendship quickly begins to evolve into something else.

Slow burn fic in which all characters are included and their dynamics explored; multiple character POVs. 

Betas: @fanboyswhereare-you and @girl-tips-from-satan

Masterlist (with AO3 links)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 23, 

Author’s Note:

Another quick Ned POV chapter, then we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled program. To the blogs who recently reblogged/suggested this fic, thank you so much, I appreciate it more than I can say!

Without further ado,

Then Again Part 22:

(Words: 1,740)

The gift shop is the smallest part of the hotel and it’s still the size of three classrooms smushed together. It’s stacked with trinkets, magnets, mugs, glass miniatures, and all the other usual sort of souvenirs that glitter back at the sunlight peeking through the windows. Near the front of the store, it smells like a grandmother’s laundry room... likely because the air conditioning is blowing right in my face, making my eyelids click when I blink.

I should get off my phone and go look around, rather than wait for the texting bubbles to pop up again. Oops.

Phone in my pocket, I take a moment to locate everyone. The team is dispersed throughout the aisles. Given how maze-ish the place is, it looks like everybody is in the middle of some slow-motion strategy game, related to either war or hunting.

On one side, near the stuffed donkeys and elephants, Cindy and Sally are flipping through postcards and travel guides. From here, I can’t hear what they’re whispering, but Cindy keeps glancing at Abe.

Abe is totally immersed in the stuffed animals a few feet away. He’s on FaceTime with his dad, holding up various stuffed animals, asking which his sister would like best or if she’s too young to align herself to a political party yet. His dad is laughing and shaking his head while Abe settles on, “I’ll get her the teddy bear with the top hat-- I think it looks pretty politically neutral.” After reminding his dad not to tell anyone about the gifts he’s getting the rest of their family, Abe says goodbye and walks over to show Cindy and Sally the stuffed bear.

MJ is in the middle of the shop. She must be in a hurry, since she buys a Notorious RBG sweatshirt, rips the plastic bit of the tag off with her teeth, and practically shoves herself into it headfirst within 50 seconds. Either she’s gone from mildly annoyed to seriously pissed or she’s wanted the meme-ed out Supreme Court Justice’s face on her clothing for a long time. Knowing MJ, it could totally be either option.

Flash is being an idiot, sulking in the corner. He’s leaning against an advertisement for some new wolf documentary stuck to the window, but his eyes are flickering back and forth from whatever app he’s scrolling through on his phone to Peter talking with Y/N, standing a couple rows up. Maybe he senses me noticing him because he glances suddenly in my direction. We make awkward eye contact before he stiffens and looks away.

He was probably eavesdropping on the two of them. But I don’t have the energy to confront him about it. Not after yesterday and this morning. Instead, I shift my focus to my friends. Peter, mostly.

Oh God, Peter. I can already tell he’s about to be at his utmost annoying the moment we get back to our room. (After we switch the rooms back to normal, at least.)

Standing beside her, he tries to juggle a bunch of keychains for no apparent reason, nearly knocking the shelf over when he fails; Y/N gives him a pitying laugh as she takes them from his hand and organizes them on the shelf where they belong. Her eyes stay on the small task, but Peter’s are practically glued to her face. I think he’s forgotten whatever conversation they were having because there’s a short pause and then the second she turns her head to ask him something, Peter does an odd hop thing like he’s been mildly shocked. Y/N tilts her head, squinting for a moment before moving on to the next overpriced item on the shelf. After a few seconds of finally paying attention, he follows her further down the row.

And I’m standing next to stacks of coffee mugs. I should probably rescue Peter now before he makes a fool of himself. Or a bigger one, I should say.

I pass Flash -- well, sort of, since he’s three rows away -- as I walk toward them. He ignores me like usual, so I ignore him too.

Neither Peter or Y/N notice me approach; they’re lightly arguing. She’s shaking her head and groaning in discontent. It seems playful, but there’s a real hesitance to whatever she’s resisting. Peter sounds like he’s trying to tone down his own grin and failing miserably.

“Nope, no way out of it. You have to choose,” Peter says, half smirking. “Necklace or bracelet?”

She shakes her head again, at a slight loss for words.

“What, so I can feel handcuffed to you? Those necklaces are practically chokers, they’re so short.”

Whatever they’re talking about, it’s definitely the perfect spot for me to jump in.

“Handcuffs and chokers?” I ask, mock shocked. “Kinky.”

They both turn at the same time. Y/N’s face lights up when she sees me. Her cheeks are a bit pink but there’s no doubt she knows I’m joking. Behind her, Peter gives me a Why are you always like this? exasperated look with a somewhat darker blush.

“Ned!” she says. “Christ, you scared me.”

“Too engrossed in handcuffs?”

There’s a grin on my face now and she returns a tired, close mouthed smile. It’s only at this point that I realize how exhausted she looks. The darkness under her eyes combined with her tense posture seems to cloak her whole body with a faintly haunted, paranoid even, halo.

Nonetheless, she seems tempted to laugh and hit me. Instead rolls her eyes and takes a step to the side.

“Peter, show Ned what you wanted to buy.”

Peter opens his hands. One has a short necklace, the other a bracelet. Both are fake gold and have half hearts with something written on each. It might be best friends?

Dear God. Way to be subtle, Peter, you idiot.

“Y/N and I agreed we need to work on our friendship,” he explains hesitantly, as if he’s just now realizing how fumblingly obvious he’s being. “So, friendship… stuff…?” He almost cringes at his own words.

Don’t laugh, Ned, I tell myself. Don’t you dare do it.

Before I can comment, MJ’s voice cuts in from the back of the shop and we all turn.

She’s standing in front of Flash, near the door, in a stance that suggests she wants to push him out of her way, or down to the ground. Man, he must be desperate or stupid to attempt to talk to her right now.

“Whatever it is, go tell her yourself!” she half shouts, hands reaching up to her hair. “Leave me out of it, I don’t care!”

MJ shoulders past him, not enough to knock him over, but certainly enough to leave him jostled and lost. His back rises and falls like he’s taking deep breaths. He turns to look directly at Y/N, expression somewhere between frustration and… sadness? That can’t be right.

As I try to riddle out whatever’s going on, replay the reasons why MJ would be this mad at him and what it has to do with Y/N, I hear Y/N make an almost silent strangled sound beside me. Knowing there’s no way to stop her from whatever she’s about to do, I shut my eyes and curse Flash for being born.

When I open them, I see that MJ has planted herself in a hotel lobby chair outside the shop with her hood pulled up, arms and legs crossed, sunk deep into the soft leather. Mr. Harrington, sitting in the seat adjacent, moves to ask her a question but she yanks the strings of the hoodie and it closes around her face like an annoyed collapsing black hole.

Y/N takes a quiet breath and Peter tenses on my right. Before he can open his mouth, Y/N says she’ll be right back with a tone that explains nothing and warns us both not to intervene.

I look at Peter, who looks at me, and we both watch her approach Flash. If I know Peter at all, I’m sure his feet are itching to race over to them too.

With her back to us, we can’t see her expression or hear anything she says. All we can do is catch glimpses of Flash, who keeps trying to interrupt her and losing. After about forty seconds they start to argue, or at least that’s what I’d guess from the angry gestures.

When she starts to leave, Flash grabs her hand. A red flag goes up in my head. That’s an idiotic move. Y/N smacks it off with the back of her other hand and leaves him struggling to say… something. I’m bad at reading lips.

Kinda looks like, Keanu just loves truly. Reeves? But I’m 98% certain that’s wrong.

Well, all the same, that clarifies nothing.

As she quickly starts walking back over to me and Peter, I turn my head to ask what he thinks just happened, but he isn’t there. Well, he is, he’s just further down the aisle, where he nearly knocked everything down a few minutes ago. He grabs something and heads toward the cash register without a word.

“He’s not buying those bracelets, is he?” Y/N asks, slightly out of breath. Standing beside me, we both watch him set something small down on the counter.

“I don’t think so,” I say. 

Really, I have no idea. I couldn’t see what he took, but I’d like to offer her some comfort in whichever ways are currently available.

She bites at a nail.

“Good.” I realize she isn’t meeting my eyes. “It would’ve been… awkward, if he had gotten a pair for the two of us and not you and MJ, right?”

Awkward?

I pause.

Until now, I hadn’t really considered what might happen if Y/N doesn’t like Peter back. I mean, I have reasons to think she does, but I didn’t exactly notice those reasons until I began to look for them. Oh shit, what if she doesn’t?

Still, “awkward” doesn’t have to mean anything significant, right?

I hope not.

“Plus,” she continues, biting her lip for a split second as she watches Peter, “I really don’t want to give Flash any new material to bully him with, you know? Middle school friendship bracelets would be more than enough.”

I nod as Peter finishes his purchase. He turns around, smiling at us, lifting a small plastic shopping bag like a greeting.

Man, I hope this is the end of the mess and not the beginning.

Part 23

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[horse-flesh]

Dear S. C.,

Dear S. C., 

When I was a senior in high school I had a boyfriend in college, at NYU. He was my first bona fide boyfriend, and I was his first everything. At the time, I knew that I should not base my future college plans on him. In the end I don’t think I did. We were both from commuter towns in New Jersey so it wasn’t improbable that I would end up at a school in the city (NYC) also. I only applied to a few colleges in New York, and one in Hawaii because I always want to move far away from here. Fast forward three years and I am graduating college early, hopefully, and him and I have been broken up for two years. His parents, who I never met during our two year relationship, have since disowned him and he is not interested in pursuing a career in biology, the area in which he received his undergraduate degree. He has not dated since we broke up, and I have dated my way through dozens of men. We are both unhappy, but he is still bitter and I am on antidepresants and on an ambitious career path. I am doing far better than him, and he knows it. When we see each other at social events he becomes hostile, and I cope with drugs. I used to be a drug addict in high school and the beginning of college, basically until I study abroad in Beijing for five months. After I returned I have been on a relatively steady path. Instead of going on a bender, days of alcohol, drug, and sex binges every other weekend now they are quarterly. I think I still need them, or at least don’t yet know how to complete surprise them. Perhaps suppress isn’t the right word. I don’t yet know how to structure my life so that the binges aren’t necessary. I don’t know if that day will ever happen, I hope it does, but then again I am doubtful. Even being a reformed drug addict and a casual alcoholic I have maintained a 3.5+ average in college and a steady professional career, so that now, at the age of 21 I manage a gallery in the “up and coming” neighborhood of Bushwhick. The tempest of youth has quieted down inside my mind and body. So, now I am here the summer of 2017 looking at graduate schools in New York, Geneva, Bologna, Singapore, and Taipei. The first thing I consciously think about when looking at these schools, which is like looking into the crystal ball that is my future, is you. It is all you. You are the One. You are the only man that has ever made me cry more than once, and only man to make me cry when you weren’t there. I stopped fantasizing about a possible wife for us together in the future because, every time I thought about it in passing, as my mind wanders constantly, I would become sad and feel my face contact like it wanted to cry. I never end crying, just as close as one could possible come to crying without ever actually exploding in tears. There is then no release. There is never a release to the suffering, the  of knowing how much we are magnetized to one another, and yet never able to be together. There are millions, fucking millions, of people around me every day in the city. Everyday I pass these millions of people - I go through Times Square, Madison Square, Broadway and 23rd St., major nexuses of New York. Yet, not a single one of them is you. And I look, I look everyday where it is intentionally or not. Whether it is conscious or unconscious or subconscious, I am always searching for you. You are only in my phone, only on LINE, only on Instagram, and only in my memories. You are a memory, a memento. When you left our Airbnb in the old district of Taipei, by the Christian girls school, the FamilyMart, the Daoist Temple, and the betel salesman you left you travel soap and toothbrush. I kept them. I had my friend come stay at the same Airbnb after you left, a sex friend of mine who I felt guilt for seeing after you because I didn’t realize I would fall in love with you after our breakfast in Hong Kong. So, before he came to the Airbnb I put anything I could possibly find of yours that you left in a plastic bag. I kept them. I still have them, a little more than a year later, in my secret top drawer. The drawer where I keep my drugs and cigarettes and money. I have had that drawer my entire life and it has always been my special drawer. The only other special place I have besides that is a book on my bookshelf that I have had since around the time I hit puberty. Above the drawer, there is your postcard framed. It hangs there. It is higher than all the other art in my room, higher than everything else, because you are higher than everything else. I will apply for a Fulbright to Taipei, and any other program I can get into Taipei. I will apply to other schools besides ones in Taipei because I know I should not pin my future on you, even though I want to. But I am not going to rule you out. I have never felt this way about someone ever, and I have met a lot of people. I have heard so many peoples stories, and I have fucked a lot of people. I have gone on so many terrible dates, been sexually harassed, and sexually harmed. I have been loved, and liked. I have had break ups and reunions. Its only been a year, but if I weigh a minute with you against my life - I would rather spend a minute with you then life without the possibility of never seeing you again. To never have the hope to see you again in person means death. Your absence is death.

Love,

Me

[hairterminator]

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[3monthsineurope]

June 12, 2021

Haley and I snoozed until 8-8:30 ish on Saturday morning. We were a little tired, since we didn’t go to bed until about 1, but we were gonna be okay! Most of our stuff was packed, so we spent the morning nibbling on any leftovers we had, doing our make up and getting dressed, and tidying up the apartment. We both really loved the Airbnb, I’m really glad we got to stay there!

Around 10:30, we called our Uber. We had all our bags, but what could we do about that! The Uber took us about ten minutes to get to Uptown, for our brunch at 5Church. Paige (the girl who lives in Charlotte) had recommended it for us. We had a reservation at 10:45, which worked out, because we needed to check out of our Airbnb by 11. Also, Haley and I (and Mom!) have matching Away bags, which is fun! We took our time at 5Church because we didn’t have plans for anything afterwards, besides heading to the airport. The entire waitstaff at 5Church was soooooo kind and nice! Our host asked if we were celebrating anything and I told him Haley’s birthday (only a month early, hahah). He offered us a free dessert! The first thing we ordered was a mimosa flight each! The flavors were orange, pineapple, cranberry, and grapefruit. We both decided that pineapple was our favorite!

Next up was a stuffed French toast! Haley actually didn’t like it much, because it had berries and a berry compote on and in it. It also had some ricotta cheese—and I loved it! We waited a bit to order our next meal to share: a bacon omelette! Haley liked that a lot, thank goodness! It came with toast and home fries. I forgot to mention that we got some kind of raspberry breakfast bar as an appetizer—for free! The food was really tasty and it was a nice, relaxing brunch. For dessert Haley chose a vanilla creme brûlée with pistachio cake crumbs on top—yum!

After brunch, Haley and I had about two hours or so, until we needed to head to the airport. I had looked up a museum that was nearby 5Church, so we decided to walk there. The museum was called the Mint Museum. We walked about fifteen minutes uptown, but ultimately decided we didn’t have enough time to make the museum worth while. Plus, we had all of our luggage. We walked around for a bit and decided to grab one drink before heading to the airport.

We ended up in the same ally where we had stopped a few nights before, on the folly pub crawl. We had one drink and just relaxed for a bit, soaking up the sun. It had been such a fun sister trip! We called an Uber and headed to the airport. The drive was short and we went through security. It was the first time in a while that I went through non precheck—I forgot to take off my shoes, haha!

Haley’s flight was scheduled first, but we still had plenty of time. I had wanted to show her a lounge with my credit card, but the only one open at this airport was “grab and go” only, by AmEx. We each got a goodie bag filled with a water bottle, a chicken wrap, some chips, and a mini pumpkin pie. At least it was free! We spent the rest of our time at a terminal bar. We each had one drink and I figured out how much Haley owed me for the trip. We always just pay for everything together, then settle the tab at the end of the trip. It was getting close to Haley’s flight so we checked the status. Her flight was delayed about an hour, to our surprise! We looked out the terminal windows and found a huge storm raging! It had been so nice earlier, we were shocked!

We had some time so we wander around the airport. Haley’s flight kept getting delayed! We met some guys near Haley’s gate that build Sephora’s—isn’t that wild?! Eventually, Haley had to get on the plane. It was sad to see her go, but we had such a good time together in Charlotte!

My flight had been delayed as well. I spent my time going into every store I could find, trying to find a postcard. It was crazy! I couldn’t believe how hard it was to find postcards! Eventually I found a few. I also got a magnet and snacks for my trek across the country. My flight ended up being about three hours delayed! I had a window seat and slept for some of the trip home. I actually saw lightening from above the clouds—that was pretty crazy! I wrote some for my blogs and postcards and watched a movie that I don’t remember now. We landed in Seattle around 11:30. But since we were delayed, we had to hang out on the tarmac and wait for a gate for about a half hour, which was a bummer. Ingvar came and picked me up, thanks babes! He had spent the day at his best friend’s in Duvall. Wow, it was raining really hard, a typical Seattle welcoming, haha. Ingvar was really tired, he had spent the night before at a different friend’s place and stayed up super late playing video games. I had to talk to him the whole way, just to keep him awake. I don’t know how to drive stick shift, otherwise I would have drove us home. Also, some of I5 was completely closed and there was no detour labeled for us! Ugh! Thankfully, we got home right around 2 am. Poor Ingvar had to work a double the next day. I was pretty tired too, I had been up for 21 hours! Thankful for the amazing trip to Charlotte. :]

[3monthsineurope]

January 15, 2020

Tortola, in the British Virgin Islands, was on Wednesday! Emily and I slept in until 9ish and got ready in the room. This was our last port of the trip. We had breakfast at the buffet on the Lido deck, then headed out for the day.

St. Kitts the day before had a huge port with tons of shops. Tortola on the other hand was smaller, but then as still developed nicely. Martinique was much smaller than Tortola. There just wasn’t many souvenir shops—it was more high end jewelry. We went through the few shops there, then left the port area. We found a “craft village” and explored those shops for a bit. A lot of the shops had similar things, and they weren’t made super well. All the shops were vibrantly colored, which I did really like. It started raining again! We took shelter in a shop, then wandered around, trying to find a cafe.

We found one and had some yummy coffee. This island was definitely one of the more expensive ones: my small iced mocha was $6! I haven’t mentioned but everyone on the ship thinks Emily and I are sisters! Seriously, we get asked all the time by the staff. We had our coffee and used the WiFi, then decided to head back to the port area.

We ran into Kurt and Carol (the one bitten by a shark that we met in Grand Turk!), which was nice. We’ve met so many nice people this cruise! Earlier that morning we ran into Cynthia and her husband. Her husband had really badly stubbed his toe on the pier, what a bummer! We went back into the port and got some things shopping. We decided to have a drink, so we sat down at a bar. I chatted with some super nice cousins who were on the boat next to us, the Celebrity Edge. They have this cut out of one of their family members, Tony. They gave me one to bring on my trip to India, which is super funny! They were really nice and encouraged me to keep on traveling! Emily was chatting to two guys next to us, who actually worked for the cruise. Dariel plays guitar and Martin plays the piano. They both are solo acts. Dariel has seen us around the ship but hadn’t got up the nerve to say hi to us. He was definitely crushing on Emily. Coincidentally, I had seen Martin the night before for the first time.

We hung out with the boys for a few hours. It was really interesting hearing some “crew secrets”. Dariel actually bought Emily and I a couple drinks, which was really nice. We hung out with the guy who did our caricature, too. After a bit, the four of us wandered over to this one store, where Emily and I bought some hibiscus infused gin. We had had a few drinks made with it at the bar and they were sooooo tasty! We decided to call it a day in Tortola, so all four of us headed to the ship. I wanted to take a nap, but once we got to our room I realized we were missing our souvenirs bag.

Oh gosh! Emily had put the bag by our feet at the bar and we had left without it. We were supposed to be back in the boat in fifteen minutes. I wanted to try to get it, so we ran down to the disembarking area. They told me not to run, but I was frantic. Emily stayed near the boat, in case they tried to leave without me and I ran down the pier. I made it to the bar, but the bag was gone. The bartender hadn’t seen it. I went to where we bought the gin, the police, the information area, and the security for getting back on the ship. No one had it. I was so sad that someone had stolen my bag. I had postcards, a magnet, a really pretty Christmas ornament for Mom, and mug for Haley, and a hot sauce for Ingvar in it. I was just so bummed. I never put things by my feet like that, because I’ll forget it. I was frustrated that Emily had put it there, but obviously it wasn’t her fault. It was just such a bummer because this island was expensive, so I spent the most there, compared to the other islands.

I was crying, walking back to the ship—I just couldn’t help it. Emily tried to console me, but I was really upset. I video called Ingvar after I bought WiFi, back in our room. It was so nice to see him! I really do miss him. It made me feel a lot better to talk with him. There was a lot of snow at home! I calmed down after chatting with him and called Mom and Haley in LA. They both said it was okay that their gifts were stolen, but I was still sad about it.

Around five, it was time to get ready for my Chef’s Table experience! I was actually so excited! My make up didn’t run off when I had cried, so I just had to do my hair. I straightened it and dressed in a dress with wedges. I met Holly and Betty (from our dinner table) in the Atrium and checked with guest services. No one had turned in my bag, sadly.

The Chef’s Table was absolutely amazing! It started out with the sous chef of the entire cruise boat taking us into the kitchen for a champagne toast and three amus busches ____. We saw Ari, one of our waiters, and waved at him. We had a two little bites and some mushroom tea. It sounds weird, but it was like really flavorful broth. It was so good! A woman named Francine helped the chef make the batter for the famous Carnival melting cake, which we would have later.

The chef then took us to our table. It was situated in the Beauties nightclub, where we had danced just the night before! Hahah! I sat next to Betty and Holly, and Francine and her husband Joseph. They were celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary. Have I mentioned that Emily had cancelled her ticket to the chef’s table? She decided she didn’t want to spend the money. I was fine doing it without her. I was really looking forward to it! The chef had nine cooks and servers for the thirteen of us eating that night. It was the fanciest meal I’d ever had in my life! The chef would come to the head of the table for each course and explain what was in front of us.

Our first course at the table was a fresh parmesan bread with honey butter. They served us each water, a red wine, and a white wine. Betty got her and I some of my favorite wine, Riesling from Chateau St. Michelle! The next course was a three parter: yogurt, raspberry, and green apple, an olive oil sponge with foam, and pork belly with kimchi. Dang, I was gonna have to pace myself! I tried everything, but if I didn’t love it, I wouldn’t eat it all, because there was a lot more coming for us!

Next up was probably my favorite course, duck! It was so tasty, I ate every bite. It was served with plum and a parsnip purée. Next is was the “surf and turf”. It was a super fancy, flavorful soup. I really enjoyed the soup. A lot of the courses were interactive. For example, for the soup, we were given some additional spices and we stirred that into the soup with our vegetable spoon, and “popped” the lobster cream at the bottom of the bowl and mixing it into the soup.

Next up was sea bass. I don’t know if I’d had sea bass before, but it was a nice and mild fish. Everything was plated so perfectly! For a break, a magician came around and did a few tricks for us. I’ll never know how they do their tricks, haha! Lamb was next. It was served three ways. I tried it all three ways, but definitely couldn’t finish this course! Our final savory course was veal. I don’t think I’d had veal before. When I think about veal it makes me a little sad, with veal being from baby cows. The veal was served with sweet potato mash and milk chips. The milk chips was like nothing I’d had before! It was tasty, but I was ready for dessert.

They served us tea and port wine with dessert. The first dessert course was a trio. There was a peanut brittle, oat cookie, dark chocolate ganache, parmesan cream, and a coffee custard. It was amazing! The next dessert was another trio. This one had a small creme brûlée, a raspberry jelly, and a dark chocolate cake, served on coffee beans. And finally, was the melting cake dessert that we had helped make in the beginning. We sang happy birthday to two of the attendees and heard a speech from the chef about the team who had helped us that night. It was an amazing experience that lasted more than three hours! I am not kidding when I say that it was one of the best meals of my life. They gave us a photo of the group, which I thought was a nice extra touch.

After the Chef’s Table, I went up to the Alchemy Bar. Emily was there with Keke and David, watching Dariel and Martin do a set together. It’s really nice to listen to live music. Their music was nice, but I was basically in a food coma, so I decided to call it a night. I wasn’t feeling like socializing. I went up to the room and relaxed. I watched some Food Network and wished I could take a bath, but alas, I showered instead. Emily came back to the room around midnight, she was shocked that I was awake, hahah. We watched a bit of TV, then headed to bed. It was a pretty eventful day, and I was ready for bed. :]