#stop treating me like I'm 5 challenge (impossible)

[hanatiny]

sorry for Ranting On Main™️, I just need to get this out of my system, feel free to ignore

[gavisuntiedboot]

Just Pretend (Gavi x reader)

Part 4

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 5 | Most recent part

Warnings: Profanity!! Swearing!! Kinda sad!!

Word Count: 7.4k (fun fact! if you've read the whole story, that's 27 pages of reading!)

A/N: The highly anticipated continuation to my ramblings. Please let me know if you want to be on the tag list for this series (because apparently that's a thing people do?) Also, can you tell I'm a huge Bad Omens fan?

"Wait, you're from  San Sebastián? Like the cake?"

"If I had known you were this funny I wouldn't have ordered a soda. It keeps coming out of my nose."

You smiled widely at Martin, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. You sat across from him in a restaurant by the beach, the dim yellow light complimenting the fading sun that cascaded through the windows. Salt hung in the air, filling your lungs with a feeling of relaxation. You rarely ever let first dates pick you up, let alone drive you an hour outside of Barcelona. But Martin had made you feel safe.

He had pulled up outside of your building, top down on the blue Mercedes he drove. His sunglasses were perched on the bridge of his nose, allowing him to drink in your sight and let out a low whistle as you approached the car. Your beach dress swayed around you, hugging different parts of your body as you moved. Your hair was pulled away from your face, with the wind shifting a few strands. Martin jumped out of the vehicle at the sight of you, opening the door for you and helping with your bag. The car ride there had been a tad awkward, with both of you nervous to come across too strong or two excited. So he handed you AUX and got a feel for you through your taste in music (which was erratic and all over the place). He let you play whatever you want. Well, almost: when 'Like a Villain' by Bad Omens came on, he changed the song himself, stating that he "could not stand scream music".

You had both loosened up by the time you got to the beach. You set up on the sand and Martin unbuttoned his shirt, glancing up to make sure you were watching him expose his chest inch by inch. You decided to be just as bold, lifting your dress over your head without turning around. Upon rummaging through your belongings, you decided none of your swimsuits gave off the desired impression, which was "I was meant to be a rich football WAG please wife me now". The natural next step was to ask Angelika for one, and she did not disappoint. It was a light pink medium-slutty bikini, sitting ever so prettily on your chest and on the curve of your hips. You laid across the towel on your side, finally able to engross yourself in the conversation with Martin. Once you two started, it was almost impossible for you to stop talking. You were so enamored by this man, who was interesting and funny and good looking and successful and interested in you.

You had spent hours at the beach, walking along the water, swimming in the shallows, and just laying in the warm sand, all while maintaining a great conversation. He was genuine in all his questions about your interests and your life. As you put your dress back on, Martin stared at you. He licked his lips as you let your hair down, shaking it to get any excess sand out. He asked if you didn't mind keeping the night going by having dinner with him, which is how you ended up at a pretty tiny seafood place by the sea. The other three occupied tables in the restaurant also hosted couples, so you felt at ease sitting across from Martin and asking about his home town.

"Okay but I love  San Sebastián cake! It's like cheesecake but better and doesn't make me feel like I have butter lining my veins."

Martin laughed shyly and rolled his eyes. He looked at you softly, in a way that few men had. Most guys looked at you with a hardness in their eyes: you were a challenge to defeat, a mountain to climb, a conquest to complete. You were the impossible woman and you were to be treated as such. But Martin? He looked at you with a delicate that made you feel like you were made of glass. He looked at you the way Disney characters looked at the princesses: like something special that needed to be cherished. You rested your hand on the table, and he brought his hand to drape over yours, making you feel like a high schooler with their first crush. It was sweet and delicate and everything a girl wanted in a romance. You looked up at Martin and saw what you had been searching for all this time: potential.

You woke up Monday morning feeling the best you had in weeks. The previous day, you received an email saying you passed your field medicine exam with a 93%, shortly followed by a few texts from Martin saying how much he enjoyed the date and how he couldn't wait to see you again. It felt like everything in your life was falling into place: you were on your way to becoming a successful sports physiotherapist, and you had a hot football player who was sending you "good morning" texts before his 8am training.

You practically skipped into work, coffee in one hand, handbag swinging in the other. You stood in the hall outside your office and stared at your phone, smiling like an idiot at the messages from Martin. A hand came down and grasped your shoulder, scaring you out of your trance.

"Good morning doctora. You didn't answer my texts."

And just like that, your mood was ruined by Pablo, Barca's little storm could of misery. He had sent you several messages over your time off, all of which you had decided not to open:

[Gavi]: Good luck on your exam Doctora.

[Gavi]: Frenkie ripped his knee open today during training. It was nasty as fuck. You would have thought it was cool.

[Gavi]: Sevilla is so fucking cold I can't stand it.

[Gavi]: Did you see the injuries during today's match? You're going to be busy on Monday.

[Gavi]: Say hi to Martin for me and the boys

[Gavi]: Tomorrow morning I need you to remove my back and give me a new one

"Yes Gavi, because I was busy," you breathed out as you opened your office door. Gavi walked in behind you, taking your coffee and bag from your hands to place them in their usual spots. "I gave you my personal number for emergencies. If you keep texting me status updates about your life, I will demote you back to email only. Why is your shirt off?"

"Because you're gonna work on my back, which you would know if you read my messages. Besides, don't lie, you love my little updates."

You pulled your hair up, grabbing clean gloves and some muscle warming lotion as you approached a shirtless Gavi, who had laid himself across your table. Despite not opening them, you had to admit that the messages made a feeling of warmth spread through your chest. Someone on the team was thinking about you, and he had remembered the things you were interested in. You could just barely admit this to yourself, but you would never say it out loud to Gavi. God forbid he ever found out that you enjoyed his presence.

"No one likes them, given that you send them to me rather than your friends."

From his position on his stomach, he looked over his shoulder at you.

"Are we not friends, y/n?"

"I'm not sure, Gavi. We could be if you stopped hating me."

"I don't hate you. I think."

The statement made your cheeks heat up slightly for reasons unknown to you. Instead of focusing on this, you squeezed some of the gel onto Gavi's lower back, an area that consistently gave him trouble. It was odd to hear that Gavi considered the two of you friends. Hell, it was weird to hear that he didn't hate you. Despite him treating you more politely, he never gave you the impression that he enjoyed your presence outside of the fact that you repaired his aching body. Well, that, and the fact that he was sending you daily updates about the team, most of which were not related to work at all. You spread the gel around the area, giving it a moment to heat up before you started working the muscle.

"So how did your exam go?" Gavi asked, laying on his folded hands. It was 7:40am, and he was susceptible to falling asleep unless he maintained a conversation. He also needed something to focus on besides the feeling of your hands on him. There was that damn feeling again: the ache in his chest, the goosebumps on his arms, the feeling like he wanted to run out the room and off the roof. He had no clue what is was about you that made him feel like he was on the verge of exploding. He would deny it if anyone asked, but he felt himself start to get hard every time you put your hands on him. Maybe Pedri was right and he was severely touch starved.

"It went amazing. I was a little scared about the technical test, because I can't really lift more than 60 kilos, so if we had to use the spine board it might have been a problem. But it was a stomach injury, so it was pretty easy. Passed with a 93%."

Your hands moved around Gavi's lower back, and he was letting out sharp breaths of pain.

"Muscle tension?"

"No actually. Your gloves... you know what it's fine I'll live keep going."

"No no. Gavi I don't want to hurt you. Tell me what's the issue."

"Well.. Your gloves are getting caught on the hair of my lower back, and you're pulling on it. I don't really know what you can do about that but that's what hurts."

You looked down at your gloved, realizing the mix of latex and gel had ripped a couple hairs out of Gavi.

"I can go wash my hands and do this without gloves. I'll be right back."

Before Gavi could protest to your bare hands massaging him, you had thrown your gloves away and let the room, washing your hands across the hall and returning. You repositioned yourself to lean over Gavi and began working the muscles in his lower back, your hands digging into his skin. Gavi was now, for the second time in two weeks, seething with anger in your office, because he was about to get hard in front of you from the most platonic touches. He didn't want you to think he was a teenage slave to his hormones. He wanted to show that he was cool and in control (even if in reality he was falling apart under your fingers).

"So how was the beach?" He asked. He knew he shouldn't. He knew you two weren't close enough for him to be asking. Gavi didn't even want to hear the answer - you looked like you were so happy, and the thought of you being happy with another man made him sick. He told himself it was because a boyfriend would make you less available for the team, but the reasoning was weak at best. But he knew the disappointment of hearing about your date would make him flaccid and riled up for training, so he let his lips utter the question that had bothered him for days.

"The beach? Or my date?" You asked, pressing harder into his lower back. The thought of Martin brought you warm sunshine feelings normally, but when Gavi asked, it made you feel nervous - embarrassed. Like you had done something wrong or shameful.

"Either. Both. Did you have a good time?"

You took a deep breath, allowing the memories of Saturday to fill your lungs.

"Honestly, it was great, Gavi, the best date I've been on in so long. The beach was gorgeous, and he seemed to really like me, which is more than I can say about the other guys I've been out with."

He clutched the plush bed tighter, arm veins becoming more pronounced.

"Have you been on dates with a lot of guys here?"

You paused your motions. Usually, you would respond with a sarcastic remark, asserting your dominance and your ability to date whoever you wanted. But Gavi's eyes showed that he wasn't being judgmental like the previous week - he was genuinely curious.

"Yeah like a dozen since I moved back. They've all sucked. Like majorly - they think I'm dumb and looking for a sugar daddy, or they just want to have sex. Or both actually. But Martin was so sweet to me. Every other date I've been on, the guy tried to kiss me or squeeze my thighs. The most physical thing Martin did was hold my hand."

In your dreamy recount of your date, you had lost track of what you were doing with your hands. The medical muscle treatment had shifted towards a much more intimate massage, with your hands lingering slightly too long on sections of Gavi's lower back. This was not helping his tenting issue, and neither was the mental image you were painting. He squeezed his eyes shut, focused on stopping the blood flow to his dick, but instead he pictured you in a swimsuit holding someone's hand. Holding his hand. His eyes shot open and he pushed him up, startling you in the process.

"Sorry, I don't know why I did that." He said, leaning back down and letting you keep working.

"I know I probably shouldn't be giving you this much information about my personal life, but you're not gonna tell on me, are you Gavi?" You asked, winking at him. Why would you do that? Did you hate him? Were you purposely trying to get him hard?

"Of course not, doctora. It's nice to hear you talk about something else besides how shit my muscles are." You continued rambling about your date and about Martin while Gavi listened intently, erection now fully gone, much to his satisfaction. You listed off all the good things you experienced that day, from the feel of the sand to the taste of your drink. As you finished up, Gavi had his eyebrows scrunched together (more than usual).

"You look like you want to say something, so just say it."

"Do you like him?"

The question caught you off guard (much like everything else Gavi had done that day) as you moved to get some paper towels to wipe the gel off Gavi's back.

"He's a great guy and he likes me a lot, so I think I would like to see where things go."

Gavi held out his hand, preferring to wipe himself down. He had just recovered from your touch, and was not eager to have another exchange like that again. He looked at you critically with one eyebrow lifted.

"Tch, you're not listening to the question. I'm sure he's very nice. But I'm asking about you, y/n. Do you like him?"

Looking down, you wiped your hands and pressed your lips together. This conversation had gotten a lot deeper than the ones you and Gavi normally got into. But there was something about the boy in front of you that made your heart soften, urging you to open up to him. Maybe it was the memory of his drunken state and how burdened he seemed. Maybe it was the boyish innocence that he carried, still resilient despite the sin that accompanied being rich and famous so young. There was just something about Gavi that, despite him being immature and infuriating, made you feel safe.

"I don't know. I don't think I can let myself like him before I'm sure that he wants to be with me for the right reasons."

Gavi had never seen you like this. You were one of the most confident people he knew, always walking with your head up and shoulders back. Now, your head hung forward, and despite you standing, it looked like you wanted to curl yourself into a ball. Your eyes were unfocused, as if you were remembering something you would rather forget.

"I understand that."

If Gavi kept surprising you like this, you were going to need your own physio.

"Understand what?"

"Wanting people to like you for the right reasons. Not wanting someone to be interested in you because of your body or your money or your name, but for who you are as a human being."

Your eyes met his hazel ones, holding his gaze. There was something that neither of you were saying, but you both felt. It was a pain that you couldn't explain with words - you either knew what it was like to be an object or you didn't. Feeling the mood weigh heavier on the both of you, you decided it was time to lighten things back up.

"That was really deep Gavi. I didn't know middle schoolers could be so philosophical."

Gavi groaned, cracking a smile in the process. He had gotten up, slipping his shirt over his head, working on getting his shoes back on as well.

"You know good and well that I'm 18, not a middle schoolers. If you want more proof, go ask your mom."

"My mom is an elementary school teacher."

This caused both of you to lose it, gripping your sides in laughter. You looked over at Gavi, watching the way his eyes crinkled and body shook with each laugh. You liked seeing him smile (it finally gave those eyebrows a break).

You and Gavi exited your office, walking to the field together. You would be observing their training to get used to assessing on field injuries with Antonio, another physio assistant. He had graduated from the same program as you, and had been assisting Dr. G for the least 3 years. He had been recruited by Manchester City, and would be moving to England at the end of the season, creating a need to impart all his wisdom on you.

Gavi ran onto the field giddy with excitement. He loved his teammates and all the friends he made at La Masia, but he had a hard time making other friends the more famous he got. Every time he liked a photo or followed someone on Instagram, there would be news articles and headlines reading that he had a wife. He felt comfortable around you, and despite meeting you through his work, you didn't have an obligation to like him in order to win trophies. It started that warm and fuzzy feeling again.

"Gavi, nice of you to join us. You'll be with Ferran and Christensen. Pedri, Lewandowsky, and Kounde, you'll be the other team. It will be precision training."

Ferran sauntered up to Gavi, phone and bottle in hand. As they waited for Christensen to join them, Ferran unlocked his phone and held it up to Gavi. It was a picture of you (seemingly from your private Instagram) this weekend at the beach, sitting on the sand and looking behind you. Your glasses sat at the top of your head as you glanced over your shoulder at the camera.

"In those scrubs, could you ever tell that our little nurse has such a heavenly ass?"

Gavi wished he couldn't hear. Or that Ferran didn't have a mouth to speak. He glared at him and brought his phone up, pressing the side button and making the screen go dark.

"She let you follow her on Instagram and this is what you do? Show her private pictures to the whole team?"

Gavi tried his best to hide the hurt in his voice at the fact that you had yet to follow him, hating that Ferran, nasty as he was to you, got special treatment.

"Oh no, Martin sent this screenshot to me. She hasn't accepted me as a follower yet. And not everyone gets to see - just you, because I know you've been waiting for her to let you hit. Oh and maybe Pedri if you let him."

Gavi wanted to step on Ferran's smug face with his cleats. But what really angered him was Martin. Why was he sharing private photos of you with anyone who asked? Needless to say, Gavi was on fire for the rest of practice, being extra physical with all the boys. He was throwing himself at the ball, scrapping the exposed skin on his arms on almost every play. After five rounds, Gavi's arm had gotten past scrapes and began to bleed, leading to Xavi stopping the drill and calling you over to bandage up the ragefully aggressive boy.

"Hey nurse y/n." Ferran called out, leaning against one of the goal posts.

"Stop calling me a nurse Ferran before I hurt you so bad you're eating through a tube." You were tired of Ferran's remarks from the day you started. The longer you worked with the team, the less they bothered you.

"There's that fire that I love. How was the beach? Do anything...hot?"

Gavi tried to turn around and glare at Ferran, but you gripped his arm tightly, instructing him not to move while you bandaged it.

"Yeah I did actually. I called your dad and almost gave him a son he actually loves, but I decided not to hurt your mom like that." The boys all snickered at your comment. Ferran leaned into Pedri, showing him the picture as well, much to Gavi's displeasure.

"I bet it's bubblegum pink - and I'm not talking about the swimsuit."

You didn't hear what Ferran had said, only Pedri's response of "you're sick dude". The bleeding boy in front of you had. This time you couldn't hold Gavi back, and he turned around fully to smack the phone out of Ferran's hand.

"What's your problem Hermano?" Ferran said, hostility apparent in his voice.

"You're giving me a headache."

"Sounds like a personal issue. y/n, on Thursday after Pedrito tucks Gavi into bed, all the adults are going to the club to celebrate the hopeful win against Espanol. Care to join?"

You pinched Gavi on the arm to keep him from turning around to respond to Ferran's comments about his age. You knew age was a sore spot, but you really needed to make sure his elbow was bandaged properly, and him constantly rotating wasn't helping.

"I'm not sure it's appropriate for me, as a member of staff, to be going out with a group of players. I'm not trying to get in trouble."

Pedri had approached you at this point, draping an arm around Gavi and leaning against him.

"Martin will be there, so you won't be out with the players. You'll be out with the guy you're seeing, and the players will just happen to be there. You should come - you'll get bottle service for free."

Gavi prayed you would say no. He prayed you would be responsible and say that you needed to go home and rest, as you clocked into work at 7:30am. Despite Ferran's taunting, Gavi would also be at the club, and the idea of you seeing him while he was drunk made him queasy. He was already off-putting to some people while sober, so he didn't want to undo the closeness he had achieved with you today with a shot of tequila.

"If Martin's going to be there, I don't see why not. I would love to see what Pedri looks like when confronted by a bottle service girl."

You finished bandaging Gavi's arm, and heard Xavi yelling that this was practice, not school lunch, and everyone got back to their places on and off the field.

The rest of the week passed by rather uncharacteristically. No intense injuries. No texts from Gavi to meet him for an early morning session. It really was just a normal 9-5 job. On Thursday, Barca played at home against Espanol, winning 2-0, with goals from Dembele and Gavi in the second half. Only one head collision between Araujo and another player, so you go to stay on the sides and enjoy the game. At the end, the players came to the sidelines to thank the fans for their support. You watched as Gavi removed his shirt, tossing it to a little girl at the front of the audience, her dad protecting her immediately from the rabid fans around her. You were brought out of your trance by two arms around your waist, lifting you up, causing you to let out a small scream.

"Ready to party bonita?" Ferran's voice asked uncomfortably close to your ear. Upon being put down, you grabbed your medical bag and rushed off the field, eager to get away from the player that felt too comfortable touching you whenever he pleased. Pedri watched you run off from the corner of his eye and turned to Ferran, giving him a side eye for the actions.

You drove home with music blasting over the speakers. It was a great stress relief (even if it encouraged you to speed). You showered and got dressed, excited to get to see some of the boys out in the wild, not only in the secluded space that was Camp Nou. You slipped into a black dress, hair half pulled up, and your makeup done dark and smoky - typical for a night out. A knock at your door made you finally stop admiring your own reflection, and you found Martin in front of you, a black t-shirt hugging his torso, coupled with those dreadful skinny cargo pants in army green (you know the ones that Spanish men love).

"Good evening beautiful. Let me take a look at you." He grabbed your hand spinning you slowly, and taking in every curve the dress hugged.

"Ready to go?" You asked, trying to step into the hallway and close the door to your apartment. He placed a hand on your shoulder to stop you.

"Not quite. You look absolutely stunning, don't get me wrong, but I don't think it's a good idea for you to go out dressed like that. It's a little too revealing, and if anyone were to take pictures of us together, I would want them to think you're my girl, not just someone dancing half naked in the club trying to get a footballer."

You felt a pit develop in your stomach. You had never been told by a man to go change for a night out. This is how you had always dressed, feeling confident in yourself and your ability to look put together without looking cheap. You were ready to tell Martin to fuck off, but you thought back to university. You had dressed this way back then too, and all anyone ever wanted was to sleep with you. Maybe he was right - your clothes were giving off the wrong impression. You stepped inside to change, substituting your dress for a pair of high waisted jeans and a corset top with long sleeves.

"Even better." He said, kissing you on the cheek and leading you out of the building.

'Maybe this is what men want,' you thought to yourself as you strapped into Martin's car and plugged in your phone, queuing several songs that you knew would be Martin-approved.

The line at the club was ridiculously long given that people had to go to work the following morning, but Martin explained that word had gotten out about the footballers frequenting this establishment, and so every girl and all her wannabe WAG friends would flock here after a home game to try and get a glimpse of the million euro boys. Martin shook hands with one of the bouncers, who gave you a once over before leading you both to the VIP section. The Barca boys were already there, not running late because of last minute outfit changes.

The older players had their own section where they sat with their partners, speaking with each other as much as they could over the thump of the speakers. The younger players had the more obvious section that overlooked the rest of the club. Pedri noticed you first, looking away from the bottle service girl he was talking to and waving you over. The closer you got, the more you could see the waitress fidgeting and blushing, overwhelmed by the fact that Pedri was whispering their order into her ear (because the music was loud. no other reason). Gavi sat on the seat next to him, legs spread and arms crossed, looking utterly uninterested until his eyes landed on you. He sat up straighter, wondering if it was ok to come up to you and greet you given that you were with another man. As he thought, someone else beat him to it.

"Martin! Good to see you Hermano. Always great when you join us, especially with something pretty on your arm."

You stopped yourself from responding to Ferran, looking at Martin instead. You didn't know much about men, but there was an assumption that most of them didn't like it when other guys made suggestive remarks at the girls they were with. But the anger never came - only a laugh from Martin before joining hands with Ferran to great him. You look a seat beside Gavi, with Martin on your right. He waved the bottle service girl over, still red as a tomato from taking Pedri's order, and started requesting bottles while placing a hand on your lower thigh, rubbing gentle circles into the skin there.

Gavi followed Martin's fingers with his eyes, tracing the same circles with his vision and damn near going cross-eyed. His body filled with heat despite the fact that he had not yet consumed a drop of liquor. There was something about the possessive grip Martin had, coupled with the nervous way you sat with your hands folded, that upset Gavi. Soon enough there were bottles on tables, and shots were being poured.

"What'll you have baby? Don Julio or Azul?"

"I'm actually not drinking. I have to be at work in the morning" You replied, and Gavi went to remove the shot glass from in in front of you, but Martin stopped him.

"What do you mean you're not drinking? Come on you're out and we got bottles, you have to drink. I'm pouring you a shot of Don Julio. Better take it or I'm leaving you here." Martin said with a slight laugh in his voice. You picked up the shot glass reluctantly. You didn't drink on weeknights, but you didn't want to make him uncomfortable. Gavi leaned into you ear.

"You don't have to take it if you don't want to. He's not in charge of you or what you drink."

You looked over at Gavi, silently thanking him for the encouragement, but felt the cool of the glass against your lips. You looked over at Martin, who licked his lips and gazed at you with hooded eyes. Maybe this is what you needed to be doing - loosening up with the guys you went out with. Maybe it was your uptight nature that made people want to fuck you until you went soft, never sticking around to put the pile of mush back together. You knocked back the shot, reeling from the burn.

"There you go. Good job." You giggled slightly at the praise, leaning into Martin's side. Gavi was not happy. He hadn't known you your whole life, but the three months you had been at Barca showed him fundamentals about your personality. One of them was that you did what you wanted, and didn't let anyone sway you when you were set. Allowing Martin to persuade you into doing things you didn't want to made Gavi uneasy, but he said nothing, knocking back his own shot and leaning back onto the couch. He knew the alcohol would start to damped all his emotions, making the anger and other unnamed feelings more bearable.

Martin had one hand around you, whispering into your ear about nothing in particular, just pleasantries: how good you looked in your jeans, how you pretty you were under the club lights, how nice it was to see you again. The sweet words and the alcohol in your bloodstream made everything slightly hazy and rose tinted. But you weren't relaxed. On the contrary, the panic started to set in at the fact that you were not completely with it in a place full of strangers. This was only made worse by the fact that Martin had poured you another shot, holding it up once again. This time he wasn't even asking, just pushing the glass to your lips waiting for you to oblige.

"Hermano, stop pushing drinks on her." You heard from your other side. Gavi had now pushed himself up from the couch, standing above you almost threateningly. Martin looked up at him and scoffed.

"Listen poquito Pablo. When the adults are speaking, learn to shut up." He looked back down at you, shot glass still raised for you to drink from. His eyes were now angrier and more expectant - like the only way to prove to Pablo that the two of you were happy together was to take the shot. You tried to grab the glass from his hand, but he tutted and moved his hand away: he wanted to feed it to you.

"I might go get something else. I'm not a huge fan of tequila."

"No one is a fan of tequila, bonita. We're just trying to have a good time."

Gavi closed the gap between him and Martin at this point, causing everyone in the group to stand. Pedri disconnected his eyes from the bottle service girl and grabbed Gavi's shoulder, hoping to hold back his outburst. Martin stood, lifting you off the couch with him. He put one arm around your waist, pulling you in close. He then looked Pablo dead in the eyes and took the shot himself.

"Watch the way you speak to your superiors, Cabron. Come on bonita, lets get you a more suitable drink."

He shoved past Gavi with you in tow, walking through past the VIP security and towards the general bar. You looked back over your shoulder at Gavi, who was obviously fuming. Pedri went to stand in front of him, blocking his path in case he decided to retaliate.

"Did you hear what he said to me? I should-"

"You should sit down and not make a scene." Pedri said, looking Gavi in the eye. "Martin wont be coming out with us again, but if you get kicked out of the club, you'll be in deep shit. And you'll worry y/n."

"Why would I care-"

"You just do. Don't make her more anxious than she already is. Sit. Relax. Have one more shot if you want - one, Gavi. Control yourself."

Pedri took his seat again, and the bottle girl came back for them to continue whatever pseudo-flirting they were engaged in.

At the bar, you weren't doing too hot. You thought Martin just wanted to get you away from an uncomfortable encounter, but he seemed intent on getting you to drink. His arm was still tight around your waist as he ordered two Long Islands from the bartender (for all my dear readers that don't drink, that is a mix of rum, tequila, triple sec, gin, and vodka with a splash of cola. Probably the most alcohol you can get in one cocktail). Your stomach dropped further. You didn't usually drink. You hated the feeling of being drunk, and hated more the feeling of not being in control of yourself. But Martin was looking at you like you were the stars that filled the sky as he handed you the glass, clinking his against it, and you couldn't say no. You wanted to keep him happy.

So you sipped, slowly and nervously, as he stood behind you, arms around your waist and swaying to the beat of the music. Ferran had also approached the bar, making conversation with Martin as you tried not to let your distress become visible on your face. The song changed to something more base-y and seductive, and the grip around your waist tightened.

"Come on, bonita. I want to see how you move for me."

You were grateful to be parted from your drink as you were pulled onto the dancefloor, bodies trapping you against your date. You swayed your hips to the beat, allowing yourself to be taken by the feeling of the music. Marin turned you to face him, resting his arms around your lower back, and resting his forehead against yours. It felt good: being able to look at him rather than the other club goers. You felt the occasional brush against your ass (you assumed from Ferran), but worked on steadying yourself. The alcohol was now hitting your system, causing you to become less stable on your feet. Maybe you couldn't handle liquor as well as you thought.

Gavi was back in the booth preparing to take a 4th shot, despite clear instructions from Pedri to stop at 2. The bouncer had said his ID was fake despite letting him in the previous week. The bottle girls, who were blushing and flirting with the other team members, talked to Gavi like he was ordering from the kids menu. And now, his final straw - Martin. "Cabron" didn't bother him. It was a common phrase on the field, usually an indication he was doing well. But it was "poquito" and all the other references to being a child that got under his skin. Children didn't drink - adults did. That's what Gavi was doing, finishing his fourth with no chaser. The alcohol was calming him, making him less likely to punch someone in the face.

He had undone the first button of his shirt and sat on the sofa with his legs spread. He was about to tell the bouncer to let a pretty young thing into the VIP to keep him entertained, when he saw you struggling to walk on the outer edges of the crowd. He should have stayed seated. You were here with your... what was Martin? A date? A boyfriend? Whatever he was, he was meant to be looking after you, not Gavi. Gavi was supposed to be having fun, taking shots and dancing with girls. But he wasn't. He was pushing himself off the couch to go and see why you were walking around shaky and alone.

"Where are you going?" He asked, grabbing onto your shoulders.

"I'm trying to find the bathroom. I feel shaky and nauseous."

"Where is Martin? He didn't offer to take you home?"

"With Ferran. He said to come find him when I feel better. It's fine, he doesn't have to leave because of me." You stumbled forward with that last sentence, being stabilized by Pablo (who, while drunk, was doing better than you). He walked you into the bathroom of the club, helping you lean over the sink and splash some water over your face. He delicately gathered your hair in one hand, keeping it away from the faucet. He looked at the top of your back, shoulder blades peaking out the top. Without thinking he brought his other hand to rest there, rubbing gentle circles into your back as you tried to calm your nausea and anxiety.

"I'm sorry that Martin swore at you." You said, meeting Gavi's eyes through the mirror.

"Don't apologize for him. He's an ass for trying to make you drink. He's an ass for letting you walk around while drunk."

You got up from the sink, turning to face Gavi. His hand slid from your back now to grip your arm. He looked you straight in the eye, despite his vision being foggy at the edges from the shots.

"Don't say that about him, Gavi. Be respectful."

"Why?" The question came out as a yell, startling you slightly.

"Why do i need to respect him when he's cursing me out and treating you like shit? Because I'm younger than him?"

"No one said anything about your age Gavi."

"Why do you keep making excuses for him?"

It was the question you were scared of. The question that lingered in the back of your own mind even before leaving Gavi's lips. Martin was pushing you far outside of your comfort zone, in a way that you hadn't allowed anyone to before.

"He likes me, Gavi. He wants to see where things go. I think I want that too. I've been living my life one way until this point, but obviously it's not working. I have trouble getting close to people," your eyes were welling with tears, "and even when I do get close to them, I can never keep them in my life. No one wants to be around me. So if Martin does, I have to try, don't I?"

Gavi felt a pang in his chest, right where his heart was. It broke him to see you like this - shaking and in tears in a club bathroom, while the man you were trying to impress was probably grinding on other girls. Gavi told himself it had nothing to do with you specifically, just fairness. You were objectively a good person, and you deserved to be treated well by everyone around you. He tugged your shoulder, bringing you in for a tight embrace. You tucked your head into his shoulder, allowing your tears to fall more freely now that he couldn't see you. Something in you began to calm. It was like Gavi had flipped a switch. Your shaking gradually decreased, and you no longer felt like throwing up your internal organs.

"It's because you're a good person."

"What?" Gavi replied, unable to decipher your mumblings while you spoke into his shoulder. You separated from him and looked him in the eyes.

"I don't want you to say things like that about Martin because you're a good person. It just... feels wrong to watch you be a typical rude and angry man. It doesn't fit you."

Gavi let out a breathy laugh, moving away from you and towards the door.

"A lot of people would disagree with you. Being angry is my defining quality."

"On the field maybe. But don't bring that into your real life. I like you how you are."

There was that feeling again. Gavi could try and blame the alcohol, but this was different. It was like there was a match lit right under his skin, burning him from the inside, making it hard for him to breathe - hard to not touch you. Maybe he need help. Or to stop drinking.

"You know I could never be angry with you doctora."

___

You woke up the following morning on the couch of your apartment. You were still in your clothes and makeup from the night before. Your phone was dead and on the coffee table in front of you. You started to recall the night before in bits and pieces, with your interaction with Gavi being the most vivid. You set your phone to charge, going to wipe off the makeup from last night. You wracked your brain trying to remember how you got home. A part of you hoped it was Gavi that brought you there. For safety reasons (nothing else ofc). No one would come near you while walking with Gavi.

As your phone came back on, you heard the *ding* of about 80 messages. You finished washing your face and headed over to check.

[Martin Zubimmendi]: Sad that you didn't invite me in last night. Hope to see you again soon Bonita xx

[Gavi]: Text me when you get up so I know you're alive.

[Gavi]: Are you coming in today?

[Dr. Gonzalez]: Please call me immediately about missing this morning's shift.

It was only after reading that last one that you looked at the time. 10:41am. You had missed all of the morning activities at the camp.

"Good morning Dr. Gonzalez! You wanted me to call?"

"The morning is almost over, miss. I was informed by Pablo this morning that you were at an appointment and not to expect you until noon. Please note it is not appropriate to have the players relay messages for you. In the future, please communicate with me directly about any hours you will miss."

You unclenched your jaw, relived over the fact that you still had a job.

"Yes sir. I apologize. I'll speak with you directly next time. See you at noon."

You ran to get changed, and as you waited for your coffee to brew, you texted your savior.

[You]: you're actually the best friend on the planet. Thank you for covering for me.

[Gavi]: 1. I know I'm the best and 2. You owe me

[You]: anything you want

[Gavi]: famous last words doctora

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: I'm hoping the length will keep y'all at bay for a few days. I have been feeling kinda crappy about myself for the last few days, which is why I have missed some of the prompt challenge. Reading messages and comments from y'all has made me feel better, so thanks <3 I am going to make the parts longer from now on to avoid the story being like 25 parts. Please feel free to leave any feedback/ comments. I love hearing from y'all (bonus points if you also say y'all).

Songs I listened to while writing this: Often (the Weeknd), Starboy (the Weeknd), Baby (madison beer), Primadonna (marina & the diamonds), CALL ME BACK (Chase Atlantic), Test me (Melanie Martinez), The Eve (EXO), Sneakers (Knox), Okay (Chase Atlantic), 18 (Anarbor), FOOLS (troye sivan), The A Team (Ed Sheeran), Disasterology (PTV), You're on your own kid (Taylor Swift), Ya'burnee (Halsey), Emergency contact (PTV), A match into water (PTV), Josslyn (olivia o'brien), Anti-hero (Taylor Swift), English love affair (5sos), needy (ariana grande), if you can't hang (Sleeping with Sirens), Talk me down (troye sivan), Young God (Halsey), mockingbird (eminem), would've could've should've (taylor swift), Can I (kehlani), Mary on a cross (Ghost), Happier (ed sheeran), Roman Holiday (Halsey), Dangerous woman (ariana grande), Devil in me (Halsey), lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off (P!ATD), funeral (pheobe bridgers).

*~*Taglist*~*

@l0verl4ne @vibinwkay @anastasia-nova @mxgvmiii @mads-grace4 @bubblebeep69 @katluckybear @scuderiabarca @alwaysclassyeagle

*pls let me know if you want to be added

[cupidsdisiac]

Hide n' seek with the Oni

MDNI

Commissions commission. As an adventurer you have to complete them to eat another day. Your final commission brings you to Yashiro Island.

Katheryne has warned you that there is some gang there and Onis. You hold your head up high defeating enemies and you finish the commission.

Poor you doesn't notice the oni eyeing you as you pick up rewards and valuables. "Alright time to head back to the guild and collect my reward" you say.

"hey little one. I need some help. can you come here for a second?"

You turn as see a man tower over you. "Names Arataki Itto"

You stand there as you see he's almost twice your size. "Hi"

Instead of being scared you get flustered. He enjoys your flustered look.

"listen I wanna play a game treat it like a commission alright. Just a simple game of hide and see. Let's see 180 primos. Is that enough for ya?" He waves the bag of primos in your face.

You nod he leans in close "Very well I'll count and you hide. Ready? Go!"

You run and hide in an abandoned house you found while completing commissions. You can hear him counting down out loud

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

He stop for a bit and smirks

"0 ready or not here I come"

You can't hear his steps anymore but you hear doors opening. The wait makes you anxious yet excited. All you have to do is not get caught right? All you have to do is wait till Itto gives up? You don't know that he can smell your sweet arousal. "Hey sweetheart" he knocks on the door of the house you are in and opens the door slowly

"hey I know you're here" you hold your breath hoping he can't hear you. But of course he can.

You don't hear him anymore but he can definitely see you.

He wraps his arms around you and kisses your neck. "Found you little one we are going to have lots of fun" he says as he caresses your hips.

"okay you won Itto I get my reward right?" You try to squirm away but he ends up pulling you closer to his pelvis.

"the more you try to get away the more it turns me on babe" he tugs your pants down and starts to kiss your neck making you melt in his arms

"that's it's babe relax and let me have some fun" he spanks you playfully

He inserts a finger to stretch you out for him. "Hang in there I need to stretch you open enough for me"

You bite your finger to not let any noise out. He sees it as you trying to challenge him so he inserts another. You throw your head back onto his shoulder. Still not making any noise and Itto grows furious.

"I'll make you scream with pleasure" three fingers in and you're still biting your finger but letting out whimpers. You feel a knot in your stomach form.

"there we go I think you're all ready for me" he kisses the top of your head

Itto puts you into a full nelson and slowly inserts himself into your hole he feels so different from other cocks but he reaches places that end up making you see stars as you orgasm around him. "Felt that good huh?" He let out a joyful laugh

He bottoms out and you feel impossibly full. "Such so good for me" his thumb caresses your thighs.

"you ready because we are going until I'm done" he starts slow and deep. Making you roll your eyes and gasp at each thrust.

His speed gradually increases. He kisses your neck and makes you cum again. "I see your enjoying it" he continues his pace and kisses your neck and shoulder.

You reach up and pull on his horns. Suddenly he starts thrusting harder and faster. "How'd you know my horns are sensitive?" He says and bites your neck claiming you as his

He starts moans loudly praising you as he gets closer. "There we go baby you're taking me so well"

He stills and cums inside you. Gently pulling out and putting you down on all fours.

You turn and look up at him. He's huge and you wonder how he even fit himself inside you.

He smirks down at you still hard. "I did say till I was satisfied little one"

Looks like this will become your new favorite commission 'hide n seek with the oni'

[sleuthy-scientist]

Time After Time - Chapter Ten - After all that we've been through, I will make it up to you.

Let me know if you would like more images to go along with the story, cause I've got them. It think having more will add a little something something to the chapters, but let me know what you think about that and the story so far. Also, full fic in order can be found here⬇️

Here's the newest chapter.......

Aaron had never truly understood why Jack stopped asking about Emily. He used to mention her multiple times daily, talking about all the plans he wanted to make with her when they got to go home. And then one day, months after they were deemed free and safe, Jack stopped asking, cold turkey.

Aaron could never quite figure out why, especially after he had been so adamant about seeing her or calling her for so long. He noticed it was also around this time his son became withdrawn. Jack just seemed angry at the world in a way so uncharacteristic of the sweet little boy he raised. At the time, Aaron hadn't wanted to look a gift horse in the mouth, he was just glad not to hear him say her name, knowing he would never forgive himself for hurting her.

And now, he hoped Jack could handle this change, because Aaron needed to make this right. He knew if for some reason Jack couldn't accept Emily and/or Grace in his life, this could become even more of an impossible challenge. He just hoped his son took the news well, that for now one thing went in his favour.

Aaron was glad at least he had been able to somewhat smooth things over with Jessica for the time being. That she was magnanimous, and wasn't treating him in a hostile manner, they both knew he would have been more than justified receiving. Aaron was well aware she was right, he might need to rely on her help as a familiar buffer and support, for this moment he told Jack about Grace.

After his phone with Emily, him and Jessica had a pleasant breakfast/brunch, while they waited for Jack and Dave to return. They had just finished eating, clearing their plates, when the two returned.

It was safe to say Jack had been estatic to see his aunt, and catch up with her. But Jack was wary, they were all acting too cheerful, added to that, Aunt Jess and Uncle Dave kept looking over at his dad as if there was something they were trying to say without his permission. He almost immediately knew he was being left in the dark about something important.

"I know there's something you're all not telling me dad. I'm old enough to understand things, and you promised you weren't going to keep secrets from me anymore. You, Uncle Dave, and Aunt Jess have all been acting strange, and you've been avoiding me since we got here last night."

Aaron knew there was no more stalling he needed to come clean. It was now or never.

"Hey Jack, your right and we need to talk, man to man. Also I invited Jessica over in case you would like to spend some time with her after we talk. I know you missed you aunt, and you might need a safe place and space from me. We need to talk about a sensitive topic, and I need you to hear me out and try not to storm out until we've finished our discussion."

Aaron could see the way Jack was focused on him studying his every move. When he saw the boy cock his eyebrows, he knew he the anticipation was making Jack anxious and he had to just come out and say it. Rip the bandaid off.

He took a deep breath, releasing it in a hurry with his statement. "It's about Emily."

Jack responded immediately, with a malicious uncharacteristic of the boy. "I don't want to talk about her, we are fine without her. I know you think you still love her, but I don't want her in my life. We are fine without her dad, you told me it was over 5 years ago. I know she's why we didn't come back after we were safe. I don't ever want to see that woman again, she's only going to hurt you dad."

Aaron was flabbergasted at the way his son reacted so viscerally. The way Jack avoided saying Emily's name, either out of spite, or an unconscious need for self protection. Neither bode well and made Aaron uneasy about how his son might react to the rest there was to tell.

"Woah Jack, I don't know where this hostility for Emily is coming from, it was my decision to end things with her. Not that we ever explicitly had that conversation about the topic. She never wanted us to break up, she always thought we were coming back after they stopped Mr.Scratch."

Jack was having none of it, sick of his father covering for her, as he had done so frequently over the last 5 years. "No don't that, don't defend her, she moved on with us. She didn't wait for us to come back to go play house with some other guy. I won't let her hurt you again dad. She destroyed you before, you weren't the same after."

Aaron was confused by how adamant and passionate his son was about the words and things he was saying. He wasn't sure where he got it in his head that Emily hadn't wanted them to return. "Jack I'm not sure I follow, I think you might be confused or have things jumbled. What are you talking about buddy."

Jack was exasperated, his patience wearing thin, knowing he couldn't full protect his father and prevent him getting even more heartbroken anymore. "You told me after giving it careful thought and consideration we weren't returning. But, I skyped her, hoping she would listen, and if I reasoned with her, she could talk some sense into you, I wanted to come back. I saw her dad, it was almost a year after we were in the clear."

Jack paused knowing this next revelation was going to hurt his father. "But dad, she had some baby with that guy. We were hiding, scared for our lives and she was off playing house without us. How could she do that to me and you, how could she pretend she loved us and betray you like that dad."

Aaron wanted to laugh and cry, not sure how his son had come to this conclusion. He was talking as if it had been a secret he had been keeping under lock and key for years. And suddenly it was clear, the timing of his son's odd behaviour back then. "Jack, I promise you buddy that's not what happened."

Jack couldn't believe how obtuse and blind his father was about her. "No you don't know dad, you don't need to defend her anymore. You didn't see that British guy kiss her cheek and call her darling, or the baby he was holding call her mama. She cheated on you while we were gone, she didn't wait at all. She obviously moved on right away with her life. I don't ever want to see her again."

Aaron was beyond confused, knowing he had to be talking about his little sister. "Jack buddy what are you talking about? Wait a second you know about Grace?"

Jack was ready to scream and shout at his father's lack of anger and reaction to what he had revealed to him. "I don't know who the hell Grace is. But, when I skyped Emily, that blond guy from her office in England answered her laptop with a baby on his lap. He immediately called for Emily, and she came into the room in her bathrobe like she had just gotten out of the shower. He said darling there is someone who wants to talk to you. And then the baby on his lap started squealing and chanting, excitedly calling Emily mama."

Everyone present could feel the palpable emotion threatening to suffocate the room. None of the adults knew quite how to instantly respond to Jack's revelation.

Jack continued explaining, knowing his dad might be in shock. "I was so fucking angry, I hung up right away and blocked her from ever calling back. I swear I never contacted her again Dad, I absolutely hate her for having the audacity to hurt you and me like that."

Aaron couldn't believe Jack had known about Grace, that he could have said something years ago, giving him a chance to fix things then. But, he knew Jack wasn't to blame, he couldn't have possibly known. Him misunderstanding the situation was understandable consider the circumstances and context at the time.

"You know I don't condone swearing young man, and you don't hate her. Given the confusing situation, I'm willing to let it slide. But, why didn't you tell me that happened buddy. You shouldn't have had to deal with keeping that all bottled up by yourself. I wished you had told me about it then."

Jack was seeing red, he couldn't believe how calm, collected and ridiculous his father's reaction was to finding out Emily had a kid without him. He was ready to storm out in anger when his father put his hand up to stop him.

"Jack, bud I'm not mad you didn't tell me, and I'm not mad at her, it's really not what you think. First of all I'm assuming the blonde British guy you saw is Emily's friend Clyde from Interpol."

Jack couldn't remember his name at the time, but Clyde did sound familiar, but in the grand scheme of things it hadn't been that important of a detail. "Well he was obviously living with her dad, and what about the baby, how do explain that?"

Aaron sighed, knowing how complicated and convoluted his explanation would sound to his son."Clyde and Emily are just friends, they've known each other for years. And Jack the baby's name is Grace, and there is no easy way to shield you from finding out like this, but, she's your little sister."

Jack looked back up at his father his face losing all colour. He was suddenly feeling lightheaded and wasn't sure he had heard his father right. Because that would mean Emily didn't betray his father and him. Nothing felt like it was adding up, except the bile building in throat, causing his need to vomit.

Aaron could see his son was shocked, seconds away from either entering fight or flight mode or getting sick. "And before you storm away, I didn't know, but Emily was pregnant when went into hiding. She gave birth to your little sister a few days before they stopped Mr.Scratch. She never cheated, or tried to replace us or move on. I'm Grace's father."

Jack's head was spinning, spitting out plausible theories and explanations. The most prevalent one, the only one that made sense to both his head and heart was she had to be lying now to cover for herself.

Jack couldn't believe how ridiculous his father was being, that Emily had sucked him back in with such bullshit lies. The alternative, that him and his father had both hurt and abandoned her, leaving her terrified and alone with his baby sister, it was too devastating for him to even consider.

It would mean everything he had thought about Emily the last 4 years had been wrong. That the hatred for her that had settled in his heart had never belonged there. That she was innocent of all wrongdoings, him and his father had done the betraying, and they were the real villains in the his story.

The implication of that plausible scenario was complicated, too much for his developing brain to fully process in that moment. So he settled on the one that was easier to swallow than the poison guilt he may have accidentally concocted.

"No dad, don't cover for her, she never told us about the baby. She never called me or you after we were safe or asked us to come home. She was probably trying to hide the truth, because you caught her and she didn't want you to find out she betrayed us."

Aaron could feel his heartbreaking knowing the full extent of what his son had been thinking the last 4+ years. And how that illusion was shattered, and Jack was ready to unravel at the seams, all paths leading to the truth were littered with embedded shards of anguish that were impossible to navigate around.

Aaron was just grateful they weren't lined with deadly landmines. As this currently stood, any pain or injury incurred was still relatively manageable or fixable with time, ongoing care and proper attention. They would heal together.

"Oh Jack honey, I promise you that's not what happened. Let me try to explain. Emily tried to tell me about Grace, she sent me letters every month under an alias when we were hiding, and even some after. But, I just...., I couldn't bring myself to open them. At the time, I knew I had hurt Emily, running away without saying goodbye. I didn't have an inkling it was so much more than that."

Aaron could see from his son's face, the truth was finally starting to set in. He had to tell him the rest, so he didn't wrongfully blame Emily anymore. Aaron was hoping it would also alleviate or absolve his son from any guilt he might feel later knowing he had jumped to the wrong conclusion.

"Emily tried to call after Scratch, she did, I just ignored her calls and eventually blocked her number. I talked to Dave once, and asked him to tell Emily not to try to contact you. That I needed to stay away from her, and the dangerous life we left. He tried to persuade me to come back and so did you Aunt, multiple times."

Jack couldn't believe what he was hearing. It didn't appear from Aunt Jess's and Uncle Dave's expressions like his father was joking or had made a grave mistake with what he was saying. That could only mean....... Emily had done nothing wrong and his father was the only one to blame.

Jack couldn't see straight with the revelation he had a little sister that would be around 5 years old now. And he missed knowing her for her whole life so far."But what about Grace, that means you knew about her and kept me away from my sister. What the hell, how could you do that to me, to her, to both of them."

Aaron hated knowing his son would never look at him the same way again, and that all the blame was his own. He sighed, trying to brace himself for telling him the rest. That while it couldn't diminish his culpability entirely, it was still the truth of the situation and lack of intent.

"Not exactly Jack, I didn't know Grace existed until last night when I went over to Emily's house. I was the one who cut her out of my life, I didn't give her a chance to tell me. I put all her letters in a box, I didn't want to read about how much I hurt Emily or how much she missed or loved us. I thought Emily was mad, because I left without saying goodbye. I asked for help and I didn't tell her the truth about Mr.Scratch. I left her alone to lead the team and fight him."

Aaron felt like he was scrambling, desperately trying to grasp at straws. He knew his rationalization for leaving and not contacting her again, sounded like a flimsy excuse and downright cowardly alibi. But at the time, he told himself he was ultimately still protecting his son. It had been the only way he could justify his actions towards Emily.

"All I allowed myself to care about was keeping you safe, even if that meant giving up Emily. I knew she was the only person I could trust to save us and stop Mr. Scratch. But I didn't give her a choice, I left her to deal with my problem on her own. And she didn't find out she was pregnant until we were already gone into hiding."

Aaron knew while he lacked the burden of proof in his favour, he could provide an abundance of evidence to demonstrate Emily had tried and always wanted them to be a family. And that they both needed to go easy on Emily and try to urge him not to intentionally do anything to hurt her further.

"Emily did nothing wrong Jack, and I promise I'm not trying to cover for her now. If you want when you're ready, you can read the letters she sent while we were gone. Both her and Jess told me she sent one a month, some with pictures, just trying to include us in everything. She always planned for us coming back, being a part of both their lives.

Jack could feel the tears burning his eyes, threatening to escape. He didn't know how to make sense of all the hate he had aimed towards a woman who had done absolutely nothing to deserve it. It hurt him to breathe, thinking about how scared and alone Emily must have felt. And how she had probably been worried sick about them the whole time, thinking she was the one who had done something wrong.

His father's voice broke through his thoughts."And Emily obviously wants you to know Grace, to be her big brother. That's all she ever wanted, for us to be a family. She thought we would come back after the danger was gone. It's my fault, even if I didn't know, I made the choice to stay away. And I've ruined everything, but please don't be mad at Emily."

Jack wanted to say 'No shit he wasn't angry with her anymore' He wanted to zone out, or tell his father to shut up, not sure how much more of his voice he could take. Jack had never felt such anger towards the man who had always been his inspiration and hero.

Aaron could tell his son was close to shutting him out. He needed to say a little bit more, before his son fully decided never to trust him again. "When we left, I couldn't stop picturing what happened before with your mom. I was so mad at myself, that my job put you in danger once more."

Aaron paused waiting for his son to look back at him for the next part. That way he knew how dire things were, and how genuine his remorse was.

"I knew what Mr.Scratch was capable of, he was more dangerous than George, and I couldn't forgive myself for leaving Emily to fix my problem. I was too weak and scared to go back after and have everyone angry at me, because I ran away from the fight. I couldn't face Emily, I was terrified she didn't love me anymore for putting her in danger."

Jack had never seen his father look so sad or contrite. It was obvious he was beating himself up, all on his own, his guilt eating away at him.

Aaron cleared his throat, trying to push down his emotions. "Emily was the only one smart enough, that I trusted to end the threat against us. I knew she would do anything to save us, even if that meant sacrificing herself in the end to do so. They lost an agent when they were stopping Mr.Scratch, a friend of Emily's."

Aaron shoulders dropped and he tore his gaze away from his son, before muttering the next few sentences.

"I promised myself and you, to treat you like an adult. You should know that monster also held Emily captive and tortured her. I didn't know this then, but it was only a few days after she gave birth to Grace. So I'm sure Emily was terrified because she didn't want our little girl to grow up without her mom."

It was easier for Aaron to let the anger take over, instead of the tears building. He wished he could sugar coat everything and keep it all from Jack. But now that he started, he couldn't stop letting the whole story pour out of him.

"I didn't even know that the bastard got his hands on her. But regardless of not knowing those details, I couldn't face Emily after, I hated myself for being responsible for putting her in the position I did. And I thought if I really loved Emily, I needed to let her go for good. That way I could never hurt her again, or let myself lose her like I lost your mom."

Aaron didn't know what else to say, nothing could ease the guilt he felt, or alter the outcomes of the mistakes he made.

"I know it can't change things now, but I promise you buddy, Emily never stopped loving you for a second. And she wants a chance to fix things between the two of you now, and for you to be a part of her's and Grace's lives. You can meet with her first and decide if you want, or we can play things by ear. But no one is going to force you into anything your not ready or comfortable with."

Jessica chose that moment to speak, knowing Jack wasn't sure if he could trust his father's words alone on the matter. "Your dad is telling the truth Jack, I promise. And when you're ready to see Emily or meet your little sister, we can both be there if you need. I already know you're going to absolutely love her, and you will be her best friend and favourite person in the whole world."

Jessica knew he should have been to worry further about the prospect of having anything in common to connect to his sister with."She's already good friends with Henry, Hank, and Michael, but you're her big brother. I know it's going to be exciting, frustrating, and weird at first. She might even annoy you sometimes, but I know you're going to love her and she already worships the ground you walk on."

Jessica hope the next bit would help her nephew and bring him some peace. To show him, he hadn't been forgotten, that Emily had always wanted him and missed him like crazy. And that they both mother and daughter would more than willingly accept him into their lives immediately.

"It's adorable Grace has pictures of you in her room, whenever she has a tea party she always puts her favourite one out, making sure she saves a seat for you. Emily has always told her about you, she even gave Grace the locket you gave her for her birthday. When she started school, Emily wanted Grace to have something special, that always connected her to her family."

"Gracie actually reminds me a lot of you, she is obsessed with monkeys, dinosaurs, and the zoo, just like you were at her age. But she also loves soccer, monkey bars, reading, Disney movies, tea parties, princesses, and baking."

"JJ is convinced she going to marry Michael, but Garcia is sure she is going to fall in love with Hank when she's older. Emily thinks they are both insane when they bicker about it, but she's pretty sure one of them is going to be right."

Jessica could see her nephew was still panicking, likely overwhelmed, unsure, and feeling guilty for something that wasn't his fault. She worried that her rambling on about Grace might not be helping him, only just further adding to his stress. But instead, he seemed to be captivated, hanging off of her every word. Jessica decided to go for broke, hoping Jack would undoubtedly be swayed on one front for now.

"Look buddy, I know it's going to be awkward for a bit seeing Emily again, but I promise you kid she loves you. Not a day goes by where she doesn't miss you. She takes Grace to pick out flowers every Sunday when she isn't working, and they go and visit your mom's grave. I go with Grace when she can't, and every year on Haley's birthday we share a picnic together there."

"Emily has told Grace hundreds of stories about you, she even let Gracie keep the stuffed monkey you won for Emily at your school's fair. Your sister only ever parts with it when her mom is sick and she tries to cheer her up. They have lots of pictures of both you and your dad, even a few of your mom around the house. Emily's done everything she can to include you and your father in Grace's life."

Jessica didn't know how he would react to the next bit. But, it would only help clarify that Emily wasn't unfaithful. And it would explain what he witnessed from that fateful video call, and help put both Hotchner boys at ease.

"And I promise you, Emily never cheated on your dad. Clyde did come down for a visit from Grace's baptism and also her birthday. Both times he stayed over in her guest room, ridiculously trying to convince Emily to return to England and take back her job at Interpol. But she refused to even consider it every time he asked, wanting to stay put for when you guys inevitably returned."

"You should know Clyde is also your sister's Godfather, I know because I was there with them the whole time, and I'm Gracie's Godmother. Emily didn't want to cause any hurt feelings by choosing between the team, so she chose me and Clyde. And I can promise nothing is going on between her and Clyde, I know this for sure because I'm actually engaged to him."

"We've been dating for almost 4 years now. It was hard doing the whole long distance relationship thing, but I will always be beyond thankfully Emily set us up. And now that you're back, I hope you are willing to get to know him. I want both you and your dad at my wedding when we finally get around to setting the date."

"I promise Jack Clyde's only ever been a friend to Emily, or like an annoying younger brother, even though he's older than her. He visits maybe once a month, sometimes more depending on his work. When you see the interactions of their friendship firsthand you'll understand. They fight like cats and dogs, but they've got each other's backs."

"And your little sister calls Clyde 'bunny', because of his last name. Now that she's a little older she added 'Uncle' to the moniker, and every time she says it, he pretends to be annoyed or embarrassed. It's hilarious how she has always had him completely wrapped around her finger, she can even get him to wear a tiara and paint his nails. And she loves how he is one of the few boys she can convince to come to her tea parties, besides Grandpa Dave over here ."

Jessica could see he was enraptured by what she was saying, but that he needed someone who wasn't his father to let him off the hook. He would internalize the guilt for not telling his father about that phone call for years. Jessica knew Emily was the only one who could really help him soothe the hatred and guilt towards himself, but he was scared to tell her.

Jessica was beyond certain Emily wouldn't judge Jack or blame him for a single second. If anything it would crush her heart to know a simple misunderstanding had cause him so much turmoil. She had no doubt Emily would wholeheartedly forgive Jack and help absolve his worries. But until he was ready to share it with her, Jess knew she needed to try and smooth things over and prove Emily loved him unconditionally.

"Not to hurt either of you, but Emily really thought you would both be back home soon. Most of the team thought it was unhealthy and delusional of her to believe that, but she held on hoping."

"Jack I get your upset, and you have every right to be hurt, angry, or however you feel about the situation. But none of us here will say anything about what you thought, from when you called her. But when you're ready, you should tell her yourself. Emily's the most forgiving person ever, I promise you, she's not even going to be a little bit angry with you. "

Dave piped in wanting to reinforce what was being said for Jack's sake, knowing his input could only help for this particular topic. "Your dad and Jess are absolutely right kiddo, Emily's always loved you, she never stopped. She even named your little sister after your mom, her full name is Grace Haley Rosslyn Hotchner. She knew it was a mouthful, but Emily wanted to name her after all the people who are most important to her."

"She toyed with using Haley as your little sister's first name, but she wanted Grace to be her own person, and she didn't want you to have the constant reminder every time you said her name."

Jessica smiled fondly, remembering how nervous Emily was back then, asking her if it was ok to name her daughter after Haley.

"Jack I know this is all alot to take in, it's all being thrown at you all at once. I talked to your dad earlier, while you were at breakfast. If you're mad at him and need some space, he promised me he would leave you be, or you're welcome to come stay with me for a few days."

"But, before you say yes, you should know I also live in Emily's guest house. We figured with me watching Grace and planning to eventually move in with Clyde, it made the most sense. And that way after you meet her, you can visit Grace whenever you want this week."

"I babysit her mostly after-school and whenever Emily needs to travel for work, so she's very comfortable and used to me. But if you're not ready or it's too much at any point, I know JJ and Will would love to invite you over for a sleepover with Henry. Plus you have Dave here who is on your side if you're more comfortable here for now."

Aaron decided he should reinforce what Jess was saying, knowing his son probably needed time to think, and have a little control and choice in if he needed some time and/or space from him.

"Your Aunt is right buddy, no one's going to force you, you're old enough to have some say in the decisions that involve you. I know Emily wants you there too, if your comfortable with that. She told me you're always welcome to stay with her when we come to visit. We all want to make this transition work."

"She really does want you to have a relationship with Grace, I know she also wants to repair her friendship and relationship with her. But she's not going to push you, you know how kind and understanding Emily is. She just wants what is best for you and your sister, and for you both to be happy and loved unconditionally."

Aaron knew he had to tell him this next part, so he didn't get his expectations up. Even if they couldn't find a way to back to each other, they would try to co-parent and be friends for the kids.

"Jack you should know though, before we get our hopes, that doesn't in any way mean though, that Emily and I are getting back together. She's pretty hurt because of my actions, and I'm not sure if she can find it in her heart to forgive me. I know she's heartbroken for every part of Grace's life we've missed being a part of. But she 100% blames me, not you."

"I still love Emily Jack, you know I never stopped. She wants me and her to work towards just being friends for now. All Emily is worried about is you and Grace and how this effects you both. She wants you to feel safe, loved, seen, and heard, and hopefully rebuild your bond. But I know she will be patient, she understands if you need time and space, if you're not ready to see her."

"If you're up for it though, Emily was hoping we could all go for a picnic in the park tomorrow, no pressure. And maybe depending on how that goes, dinner and a movie at her house. Then you can sleep over there, or in the guesthouse with Jess, or come back to Dave's with me."

It all sounded too good to be true to Jack. He missed Emily more than anything the last 5 years. Even when he was angry with her after, he knew he had still craved having her present in his life. And the little sister thing was an added bonus and absolutely the best news of his life. He had always wanted a younger sibling like Henry, someone to play and grow up with.

And as angry as he was with his dad at the moment, he wanted to stay at Dave's, he needed a little bit of time to think before he saw or met anyone else. He was worried about what to say to Emily, hoping he didn't spaz out and tell her about the Skype call because he was nervous.

"Dad, you promise Emily doesn't hate me, I've been so mad at her for years. I really thought she hurt you, and that's why we didn't come back. Please, don't tell her I thought she cheated on you, she will hate me forever."

Aaron leaned over to embrace his son, knowing he was on the verge of tears, because everything was hitting him all at once. "Hey buddy, it's ok, Emily could never hate you. Even if you ever disappoint her, she's always going to love you. She loves you just as much as she loves Grace, and nothing's ever going to change that."

"If you don't want to tell her what you thought that's fine. It was a misunderstanding, she wouldn't blame you, because it wasn't in any way your fault. And I swear on my favourite Beatles album Emily loves you and has missed you like crazy."

Jack chuckled at his dad's Beatles album analogy, knowing he was his lame attempt at a joke.

Aaron was glad his attempt to lighten the mood had its desires effect. He gave his son another big squeeze, pulling back to say the next bit to his face. "Jack, I know you always wanted to be a big brother, and I'm really sorry this all happened this way. You and Grace deserved to grow up together. I know you have a few more years before college and the rest of your lives, but I'm sorry you missed out on so much time already."

"And I know we just came down for your March Break, but I hope your ok if we discuss moving back soon. I want us to be able to spend as much time as we can with both Grace and Emily. You can help me pick a house or apartment and we can find a school nearby for you."

He could see Jack ready to speak and cut him off. "I'm not going to rush you on any of this, but I want you to have some say in these decisions. Your old enough to have some choice in this. I know it will suck packing everything up and moving."

Jack spoke next, rolling his eyes at his father's ridiculous rambling and wanted to get him to stop. "Woah dad stop, I get it. I know you don't want to be away from either of them, now we know, and I feel the same way. But we can talk about that later, maybe after I've had a chance to meet my sister first."

Aaron smiled seeing Jack was genuinely happy and meant what he said about wanting Emily Grace in his life. Nothing else mattered for now, as long as his son was on board.

"You're right, we don't have to rush anything right now. I'm sure we can find a way to make everything work out eventually for everyone, and that we are on the same page going forward."

[sweetness-doesnt-touch-my-face]

Believe it or not, I'm trying with every fiber of my being to be okay. I'm trying incredibly hard to remain positive.

[marchtomydrums]

In the beginning part 5

Alex Cabot X Casey Novak X Reader

Rated M.

It has been a month since Casey and Alex discovered that you were a virgin. Both standing by their words, not pushing you, and allowing you to set the tone. The three of you agreed that you would have your first time with each of them separately. Both wanting you to be fully ready and comfortable with both of them individually. Alex was currently out of town on a two-day business meeting. While you missed her this gave you and Casey the opportunity for someone on one time. The pizza and movie are a forgotten thought as you both cuddle up on the couch in a heated make-out session. These became normal between you two gradually increasing each time. You moaned into Casey’s mouth as her tongue explores your mouth. Casey chuckles when she feels your hips buck slightly upwards.

Your hands make their way down to her breast circling her nipple through her shirt. Casey moans into your mouth pulling back slightly completely out of breath. “We have to stop.”

“Why?” You say looking at her in confusion.

“Because things are happening and here soon I may not be able to stop myself,” Casey says trying to calm her body down.

“What if I don’t want you to stop?” You ask innocently playing with the hem of her shirt.

Casey loses her breath for a moment looking at you stunned. “Are you sure?” You nod your head yes as you lean up to kiss her. Casey pulls back “not here.” She whispered.

Casey leads you upstairs to the bedroom. Your heart is racing the whole way you know she’ll let you back out if you want too but right now you want her.

Casey stands in front of you, your back to the bed. She leans in to kiss you softly. Her tongue dipping into your mouth. You pull at the hem of her shirt, she pulls her shirt off and her pants quickly follow. She smiles at you as you gaze at her body in awe. Casey carefully removes your shirt and pulls your pants down until you kick them to the side. Moving to lie in the middle of the bed you pull Casey on top of you. The two of you kiss for a while. Hands roam becoming familiar with the other's body. Casey goes to unhook your bra before she looks at you for permission. You nod. She unhooks your bra throwing it to the side. Casey looks down at your breasts as her fingers traced your nipple.

“You are gorgeous.”

“So are you. “

Casey smiles and leans down to kiss your right breast and then your left. Flattening her tongue she licks over your nipple and then blows out cool air causing the nipple to rise. Casey takes her time getting familiar with your upper body. Listing to your steady breathing and small gasps. Casey starts to descend lower until she's pulling off your underwear.

“You are so beautiful, baby,” Casey whispers above you.

Casey makes her way down to legs kissing both sides of your inner thighs. You gasp as you feel a small kiss on your clit. Casey looks up at you and smiles as her tongue takes a long lick up through your slit.

“Casey.” You gasped holding on to the bedsheet on either side of you. The pleasure was something you’ve never experienced before. Casey’s tongue did wonders on your lower region. You feel her pull back and her fingers roam between your lips carefully running circles on your clit. Your body tenses a little when you feel her fingers at your opening.

“It’s okay baby. Just relax.” Casey reassures you.

“Can you come up here?” You ask shyly.

Casey makes her way up your body leaving little kisses before she makes it to your lips. You can taste yourself on her tongue. Casey pulls back for a minute “are you okay?”

“Yes. Just stay here with me. Please.” You ask wrapping your arms around her body.

“Of course,” Casey says kissing you once more. Her hand makes its way back down your body and a single finger enters you. Pushing in and out of your body you moan as you hold on to her. She pulls out and adds two this time causing you to gasp at the sudden pressure and fullness. She waits for a second letting your body adjust. While she waits she’s kissing you and whispering words of affection in your ear.

Finally, she moves, her fingers pushing in and out of you making your hips rock along with her. Casey is gentle and slow with her movements. Curling her fingers she hits something inside of you that causes your hips to rise. The pleasure is overwhelming as you hold her body in place.

“Casey.” You moan out to her getting her attention. She looks at you and smiles. Her thumb finds your clit causing you to cry out.

It doesn’t take long before your orgasm hits you. The world seems to stop for a split second as your body experiences a new kind of pleasure and pain.

Casey holds on to you as your muscles contract around her fingers. She pulls out gently dropping beside you on the bed and pulls your body next to hers.

“You okay?”

“Mhm.” You mumble trying to get as close as you can to her.

“I love you y/n.”

“I love you too.” You smile as you kiss Casey.

“I’m glad you were my first.” You say shyly.

“Me too baby.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After your night with Casey, you couldn't be happier. We had an amazing night and she was so kind and gentle with you. The two of you have made progress and it was wonderful. However, you and Alex not so much. Alex was just harder to talk too and she worked all the time. She came off as cold and uncaring. Sitting outside her office I can hear her and Jack going at it. Both screaming at the top of their lungs over this case. Jack storms out of the office going on about his day. Alex is out the door not even a moment later telling you to hurry up before you two are late to court. You roll your eyes and follow behind her. The jury didn't see Alex’s side and we lost. Walking back to the office I offer to grab Alex a coffee from the break room she quickly dismissed me saying she could get her own. I sigh watching her walk back into the office. I head over to the break room where there are a couple of girls there. They all smile and greet me.

“So how is it working with the Ice Queen,” they ask.

“Just great let me tell you.” they laugh at my answer.

“I can't understand how Casey deals with her. She's such an bitch. She doesn't care about anyone but herself. “ one of the girls tells me. I say nothing just smiling and going back to my desk. I feel guilty that I didn't say anything since technical I'm in a relationship with both of them. However, Alex is so rude to me and everyone else that I can't much blame them. Sighing I get up to head into her office to drop so more files off. As I walk in I see Alex sitting at her desk.

“Do you know how to knock or did you not learn that in your small town?” Alex asked me.

“What is your problem!?” I yell at her surprising both of us.

“You! You're my problem! When we are in the office I am your boss no matter what is going on in our personal life. Understand?”

Alex is up out of her seat leaning over her desk as if she’s challenging you.

“You know what Alex screw you! I do everything you ask of me and then some. I'm just trying to do my job but you're always looking for a reason to bitch at me. “

“Poor thing is this your first big girl job? Can't take the heat?” she asked you in a condescending tone.

Looking back at her you try to keep your tears at bay. Alex is so frustrating and now she's just being cruel. Shaking your head you just walk off.

“ What that's it? “ she asked.

Turning around you meet her gaze.

“Yeah, Alex that’s it. I'll have the other files for you by the end of the day. “ you tell her before you walk out. Walking back to your desk you try hard not to cry in front of anyone. Just quietly sitting back at your desk trying to stay busy.

A few hours later you finish up, knocking on the door waiting for permission to enter. You walk over and drop the files on the desk going to walk out.

“Y/n.”

Sighing you turn around to face Alex not really wanting to get into another fight.

“I want to apologize for today. I was out of line. I was upset with my verdict and I took it out on you. “

“It's fine. Thank you. “ you mumble attempting to walk out.

“Wait, um, Casey called she wants to know if Meatloaf is okay for tonight. Or would you rather go out?”

“I think I'll just head home tonight.”

“Why? What about Casey?”

“What's the point Alex?! “ you yell tears welling up in your eyes.

“You clearly don't like me. You don't want this. And yes I do like Casey a lot but I wouldn't put her in a position where she felt like she had to choose. For some reason, she loves you and I won't do that to her. So it's just best if I take myself out of the equation. “

Alex makes her way over to you and closes the door behind you. Taking your hands in hers she leads you over to the couch.

“Y/n, I'm sorry. It takes me a while to open up to someone and I’ve already told you this and at this point, It sounds like an excuse. Casey really likes you. She told me that you had sex.”

“Yes, we did,” you say as your cheeks flush.

Alex smiles. “I'm sorry if I've been rude to you or made you feel unwelcome. That wasn't my intention. You may not believe me but I want to try harder with you. I want us to work on this. Please give me a chance.”

You see the tears in those beautiful blue eyes and that smile and it makes your heart melt. Even though you want to stay mad at her she almost makes it impossible. You glance down at her lips and lean in and kiss her gently. She moans into the kiss.

You pull back from the kiss smiling at her.

“I hear you Alex I understand believe me I do, and I will give you a chance. But I'm not your punching bag and I won't be treated like one.

“I know, I’m sorry. I will do better I promise.” You smile at her nodding your head. You move from the couch locking the door while Alex is looking at you confused.

“What are you doing?”

“Locking the door.”

“Umm, why?”

You giggle as you sit back down on the couch.

“Because I kinda want to make out with the ice queen.”

Alex laughs pulls you down so you’re laying halfway on top of her.

“Okay, but we can’t tell anyone I’ve got a reputation to uphold.”

You smile at her as you lean back in to kiss her.

[shra-vasti]

YOON JEONGHAN

Series : To all the boys

Pairing : Yoon Jeonghan x reader

Type : non idol au, ex-lovers au

Genre : angst, drama, fluff, romance

Warnings : one curse word lol

Word count : 1k approx

Synopsis : You decided to write some letters to every boy who was a part of your past as your last message after getting diagnosed with chronical disease.

MAIN MASTERLIST

[Received, 15.10.2020] | next

"They have got to be kidding me, giving us such horrendous amout of assignments."

Jeonghan's room was nothing but a nightmare of any university student, papers splayed across the whole floor, important files being kept neatly at one side of him, laptop with multiple tabs open on his laps.

He didn't even bring his coffee inside his room just in case he trips on it and it spills on all of the hardwork he has been doing from the past week.

He gathered all of the things and neatly stacked it in his desk, falling onto his bed he let out a loud whine of relief that finally all of his work was done.

He stayed like that for few minutes before reaching out for his phone to open up his socials.

Jihyun : don't forget to eat your meal, I don't want you to skip it while you drown yourself in work, love you.

"You know I will eat my food no matter what why bother being so worried."

He, instead of replying just shut down the chat room and wondered out loud throwing his phone beside him.

He has been dating Jihyun for a little over 5 years now and yet he wasn't as interested in her as he used to be years prior when they first started dating, well after meeting you to be precise.

Jihyun wasn't fun, she didn't challenge his head, she never doubted his actions, always blindly trusted him when he himself knew he didn't deserve to be trusted.

And that was boring, he wanted a relationship where he could playfully banter with his significant other, where his partner would be as sarcastic as he was and always had a comeback to his remarks but Jihyun wasn't like that, she always apologized for everything even when it wasn't her fault.

Maybe that's the reason he still yearned for you, maybe that's the reason he every now and then had this urgent urge to hold you in his arms like he used to.

"I can't believe I have a girlfriend who would give me world and here I am sulking over how after our breakup I'm the one who's always reaching out to you and beg you to talk with me y/n."

He reached his phone again as he opened up your messages, he scrolled up to see only his messages asking if you had a time to spare to talk with him from your busy schedule, which he knew wasn't so busy and you were just ignoring him.

You had deleted his contact but never blocked him letting him be in the delimma of always being a message away from you yet he knew you were gone far away from that.

You're heartless, he concluded. He made you heartless and he was proud of it but he wasn't ready to be the victim of it and experience it in first hand.

How could you be so merciless with someone to whom you've shown your softest side possible? You didn't back away from accusing him for your anxieties and low self esteem and he genuinely felt awful for treating you the way he did.

But that didn't mean for you to cut him off from your life like that, he still wanted to be your go to person, he still wanted to be your first priority, someone you would look up to when you were upset because he knew you would never let anyone see that side of you.

He wanted to be the shoulder you could cry on, he wanted to be with you and wipe your tears away, fuck, he wanted to be in relationship with you again if it wasn't so impossible.

He sighed, he was once again getting lost in the thoughts of you, he always hoped you would reach out to him and tell him that you're ready to take him back, he would leave everyone else for you.

You were his rock and he hates himself for letting you go easily and taking you for granted. He got up from his bed to make a coffee for himself and relax.

It was always like this, he had been getting lost in the thoughts of you for a quite while now and even though he knew it was natural for him to miss someone who was so dear to him, past weeks have been way too difficult for him.

It was like he was yearning for you not only emotionally but he wanted to feel you physically, he wanted to hold you in his arms and cry about how difficult university life has been like he used to.

Ofcourse he did have Jihyun for that but all that girl do is give him sympathy and tell him she's there for him but he doesn't want that.

He wants her to cradle his lap and kiss him senseless so he would forget about his tensions for a good time and then hug him tight stroking his hair and distracting him before calming his nerves by talking his problem out with him and coming up with a solution, something he got habitual to when he was with you.

But she wasn't you and he was starting to realize it more as the time slipped through his hands. He did everything he could to keep you by his side and he was starting to doubt why he wanted to keep up the burn-out flame of his and Jihyun's relationship when he had someone as amazing as you.

He didn't wanted to break off with Jihyun cause she was his first love and she never treated him wrong but he realized late that in the long run he didn't want someone as naive as Jihyun to be with. She couldn't handle him although she was trying her best, she just couldn't.

He made his way towards the couch in the living room to drink his coffee leisurely when his eyes landed on an envelope.

He doesn't remember receiving a mail as he wondered if it was of Jihyun since she had spent whole day with him yesterday.

He called her before touching the envelope.

"Jeonghan, you wanted something? Are you stressed? Want me to bring something?"

He closed his eyes momentarily, she was always too worried about him and he didn't like it, he rather preferred being babied by you cause you didn't like babeing people.

"Nope, but stop worrying too much please, I'm not a baby, plus I called you to ask if you by any chance have left an envelope of yours on my table?"

"Ohh the envelope it isn't mine but its addressed in your name-"

He cut off the call throwing his phone to the side as he reached it, reading his name on the envelope he knew it had to be you, there's no way it wasn't you. He knew you.

The smile which he wore was starting to make his cheeks hurt but all he cared was about the envelope and your handwriting.

He tore the envelope taking out its content to see two letters and a sticky note fall out on his lap.

"You're still the same, you have your own unique ways of expressing."

📩 Yoon Jeonghan. I know, when you touched this letter you knew it was from me and I can imagine you smiling widely while reading this. See, how beautiful I made your world. Why Jeonghan? Why did you break me? I've been stuck up on you way more than the time we have spent together. Why did you do that?

He smiled ironically, he was breaking too, he had been stuck up on you way more than you did, you indeed made his world beautiful and he beat himself up regularly for playing with your heart.

"I love you y/n and I hope your stubborn heart would realize it soon, you don't want to accept that fact because you're scared but why would you suddenly send me a letter? It's making me feel scared, the sickening feeling inside my stomach isn't helping at all, I hope you're fine."

[oumakokichi]

After reading so much of ur metas about how Ouma isn't evil and is very caring and empathic, I forgot something. Ouma sees the killing game as a, well game right? But I'm not sure why or if that's really true. If anything, due to his hatred against killing, wouldn't he be the one most against seeing the killing game as an actual game? And wasn't it stated that Ouma was the first character to see the killing game as an actual game? Idk why this but that feels important.. or maybe it's not?

This is a really good point to bring up anon, and a greatquestion! If it seems like Ouma’s stance as a whole on the killing game andgames in general is a bit contradictory, it’s because… well, it is!

Ouma is a pretty contradictory character overall. Ratherthan being solely a “good person” or a “bad person,” he’s a well-intentionedperson aiming to end the killing game but willing to do extremely morallyquestionable things in order to do so. He claims he “hates jokes and lies” onseveral occasions, yet at the same time embraces them and in fact needs “gentle lies” in order to cope withthe harshness of reality. Considering that almost the entirety of his design ispresented in “blacks” and “whites,” it’s highly ironic that he himself as acharacter is largely morally grey.

He does view the killing game as a game to be played andwon. Kodaka also did confirm that he’s the first character in the series to doso. And yet, it’s also true that he resents the suffering and killing he andhis classmates are subjected to, and hates the audience and the ringleader bothfor getting off to it all. This discrepancy is something that’s alluded to insome of the earlier chapters, and is shown the most prominently in Chapters 4and 5, with his whole “I’m the big evil ringleader” speech.

A large part of it boils down to the rift between the façadeOuma wears in front of his classmates, and his true feelings and intentionsabout things. In-game, there’s rarely a moment we see him with his façade loweredentirely. Even when he does put his act on hold for a few moments, or let a fewglimpses show of what he’s thinking, it’s largely because he knows the othercharacters will just think he’s lying anyway (and something Kodaka knew theplayers would think, too).

That façade is something Ouma wears very deliberately, likea mask, in order to pursue his objectives. A lot of his dialogue even early onheavily implies that he’s not having nearly as much fun as he pretends to,despite claiming to enjoy the killing game so much. One of the NISAlocalization lines that I really enjoyed from Chapter 1 so far was the linewhere he advises Saihara to just “hit the reset button on his feelings” inorder to be “happy and cheerful” again. The line stood out to me quite a lotconsidering Chapter 5 already all but confirms Ouma was pretty much beating hisreal feelings down with a stick while pretending to enjoy himself immensely thewhole time.

There’s also his speech in Chapter 2, when Saihara asks himwhy he had Gonta capture them all and bring them to his lab. He goes on a longrant about how games should “only be played in hard mode,” and how he “doesn’tuse the run-away option ever in an RPG.” He states pretty much word for wordthat he doesn’t just want to make it through the killing game, he wants to completelyovercome it and win (I think the localization went with “crush it,” which isalso pretty good).

He also drops quite a few other hints in this speech, includingthe fact that “death games like this are impossible to clear unless you makeyourself get excited about them.” He also says that he figured there was “nopoint in complaining,” so he decided to “look on the bright side and have funwith it.” This pretty much summarizes a lot of his mindset pre-Chapter 4, in myopinion. He very decidedly wanted to put an end to the killing game pretty muchfrom the start—and he also decided to try tackling it as a game in order topsych himself up about it.

The flashback scenes Momota provides in the Chapter 5post-trial also confirm that Ouma’s decision to view the whole situation as agame was little more than a coping mechanism in order for him to continuemaking progress. He directly states that it was “a lie he had to tell himself,or else he couldn’t have survived.”

Ndrv3 deals heavily with the idea of “lies” that eventually “become”reality as long as everyone believes they’re true. As a result, I think Ouma’s “lie”to himself was at least half-parts true. While he did hate killing andsuffering, and while he did want the killing game to end, I think theredefinitely was a part of him that enjoyed the hurdles and challenges of thekilling game from a game theory perspective.

His ability to maneuver strategically and treat things as agame is one reason I’m still fairly convinced his real talent might besomething along the lines of SHSL Chessmaster, or some variation anyway.Considering his design (the scarf especially), his name (made up of thecharacters for “King” and “Horse”), the emphasis Kodaka put on him as someonewho thinks of things in terms of “games,” and the fact that his ability to readand guess his classmates’ behaviors and dialogue reads very similarly toguessing an opponent’s move in a game, all signs point to the fact that he did,to some degree, think of things in very logical, practical terms. Again, thisis an extremely contradictory point to his very empathetic side, and is part ofwhat makes him all the more complex as a character.

In the Chapter 2 trial, Ouma has yet another speech that’spretty enlightening about his behavior, particularly when it comes to hisparanoia and way of viewing the killing game. He states that “in order toexpose a liar, you have to corner them psychologically”—it’s clear to see thenthat he definitely was playing the game by trying to read his opponents’ movesand putting himself in their shoes. This kind of chessboard thinking is yetanother common part of his game theory mindset; it’s exactly what he does lateron, trying to expose the ringleader by pretending to be the ringleader and forcing them to make a mistake with theirlies.

By Chapter 4, after forcing Miu and Gonta to die in order toavoid dying himself (and in order to avoid everyone else getting killed in theclass trial), I do think Ouma was extremely disgusted with that part ofhimself, however. What had seemed like a dangerous but maneuverable game forthe first few chapters became all-around horrible for everyone involved when hewas forced to stain his hands. Knowing that he and DICE were morally againstkilling makes the fact that he saw no other recourse in Chapter 4 other than tosacrifice two lives all the more striking—particularly when he has anopportunity to do the same exact thing to Momota and Maki both in Chapter 5 butopts to die willingly instead, unable to bring himself to make those kinds ofsacrifices a second time.

Ouma’s villain speech in the Chapter 4 post-trial reads withquite a lot of self-loathing on a reread. It’s hard not to look at his lineabout how he’s “someone who enjoys watching people suffer for no reason” andsee that he’s drawing more than a few similarities with himself and the killinggame audience that he hates so much. In forcing himself to act the part of thevillain, he was very well aware by that point that he had crossed too manylines to be uncrossed, and felt, in his opinion at least, that he was no betterthan the ringleader that he was trying to stop.

To sum it all up, he’s a huge mess of walking contradictionsfrom start to finish. He’s both shrewd and clumsy, analytical and childish,self-sacrificing and annoyingly bratty and self-serving. It’s very true that hedoes view the killing game through the lens of a much bigger game overall,which is one of the many things that helps him catch on to the fact that it’sall supposed to be a show for an audience to view much, much earlier thananyone else. He’s definitely able to think of even his classmates in terms of “pawns”or “sacrifices” to be made, as Chapter 4 shows—but it’s just as true that hedeeply resented this part of himself whenever those sacrifices grew too great,and that much of his talk about “enjoying” the game was a lie to help movehimself forward.

I hope this helps explain things a bit more. Thank you forasking, anon! This was a really great question that I wanted to provide alengthier explanation for, so I’m glad if I could help. Thanks for stopping by!

[ts-nightingaleislands]

Episode #8- “people are going to be blindsided and i'm people”- Vincent

Holy guacamole I feel terrible. On one end I have four people who decided to work together and on the other end are people they told I wanted out. I am at a bit of a loss here but I always like a challenge! I'm gonna go finish my thinking, see if it sticks, and go then voice it!

wow how am i even still here because of my strong social connections! just 7ish tribals until the end! that's so much...i have no idea what's about to happen over the next few weeks except that people are going to be blindsided and i'm people a big part of my pitch to rizo and chris was that cheatham is a threat and he needs to go...which is why now that we're all together i'm in an alliance with all of them, as well as austin and noah. this six is absolutely not going to stick together but i'm in the middle so when it falls i'm not taking the hit! annmarie and liam are cool as well, so ideally the merge vote is between sara and kyle. for me i would ideally keep kyle bc he seems less likely to try and blow up the game in a way which is bad for me, like i feel like he may help me down the line. so i'm going to try to push for that. however, neither annmarie or liam are worth saving at this time so if either of their names come up i'm going along with it this is the first time i've merged in nearly a year and i'm ready to overplay and flop!

Right now Im in an alliance with...Austin, Noah, Rizo, Vincent, and Cheatham by the name of Bottom Feeders. Tbh its just irony at this poiint I am going to end up working with people I wanted out but hey that's Survivor!

(LATER)

My plan of action is to talk with Kyle, consider having a aide alliance with him and Rizo where we get AM/Sara/Liam out and then have BF target Cheatham and/or Noah or whoever in F8/F7..stay tuned!

(EVEN LATER)

Mark my words, this week is going to expose Austin! He has Liam/AM/Sara wanting him and then Bottom Feeders so no matter how this immunity goes and tribal, he will be seen sketchy to somebody.

Wow, So last week I decided what was going on bc i have the idol. If Gwen knew how to stop talking then maybe i would’ve. ANYWAYS, this week. So I got put in three alliances. Big Time Thrush (which I was already in from pre merge) which consists of Me, Noah, Austin, and Vincent. Then there is Bottom Feeders, consisting of Me, Noah, Austin, Vincent, Rizo, Chris. Basically Rizo and Chris made that bc they are on the bottom. I don’t trust it at all. Finally, the one that i’m actually sticking with, is The Frock Destroyers, which consists of Me, Noah, Liam, Austin, Ann Marie, and Sara.... JK i’m not working with that. There is a secret 4th alliance that is the same as the last one but without Noah. I know Noah is probably reading this. Basically, I don’t like the way he talks to me. Outside of the game, I would LOVE to stay friends with Noah bc i’m sure he is a great person. INSIDE the game however, i do not appreciate when someone tells me to shut up, calls me an idiot, or tells me i’m stupid. That is NOT okay. He never listens to my ideas and he acts like this idol, is his. This idol is mine PERIOD. I was his puppet early on because i was so busy with life shit. But now i’m realizing the way he is treating me/ using me. And revenge is gonna be awesome.

Ugh....this is like trying to choose which puppy is cuter when both are identical!! It doesn't WERK! Fricken the only people I really trust fully is AnnMarie and Liam but we can't get on the same damn page. AnnMarie leans more towards Rizo/Chris/Kyle but I have DEALT with them and I know how they are. And it's been confirmed that Kyle won't split from Rizo...he said it on call that they're tight. I like Kyle...don't get me wrong...but he leaks EVERYTHING (so do I...but that's different, right?) and twists and turns things. Yes, working with OG Thrush is risky AF, but so is working against the idol and with a [new] trio, some of which have ALREADY voted for you. I mean...I've done this before where I completely flip on my old 'tribe' to work with the other side and I've won...so it isn't impossible. I also generally just don't click with the other side (as in Chris/Kyle/Rizo) as well as I do with the noobs....so even if they are tight....I'm either on the bottom of the original Petrel or the original Thrush. Noah fence....but I like Thrush better and would rather lose to them than Petrel. And that's just the way it is!

So we gave Sara immunity, I want to use it as strategy to possibly have her like me again but we will see if it works. As far everything else, Austin wants Kyle/Rizo gone. I dont know where it leaves me in his ideal pecking order but Im not waiting around long enough to ask.

(LATER)

Nah, Im not accepting this. Im not waiting for Rizo to be voted out to make mends either. Im gonna get this Petrel chat going and maybe it is the one thing that can save him and me. Im not putting all my eggs into the Bottom Feeders basket just yet and sure as heck am not a out to welcome myself to the bottom of the barrel so easily

Wow...a lot has happened. My alliance with Cheatham, Noah, and Austin supposedly merged with Chris and Rizo to create a super alliance. Guess how long that lasted? As far as I can tell, Noah is targeting Austin but tried setting it up to ensure Chris and Rizo take the fall, using information I gave him (not necessarily important info, but something which incriminates Chris/Rizo which I only told him). Austin heard about this, of course, because he's just so good at this game and everyone is gravitating towards him. I've been completely honest with him, so hopefully he has been with me. Originally the vote was supposed to be Rizo, with myself, Austin, Cheatham, Liam, AnnMarie, and Sara on board. This is why Rizo got vote against him at the challenge. However, Rizo has never targeted me personally. Comparing that to Noah, who I have heard from multiple sources was hoping that I was going to be voted out last round, voting to ensure this happened, and it was clear to me that Noah was the bigger threat to my game. Additionally, Cheatham told me things about how condescending Noah would be with him, so at that point I felt like I had to change the vote. Cheatham was on board with it, and I told Austin as well. Liam, Sara, and AnnMarie don't know (as far as I know) as of when I wrote this, but I really don't see a reason as to why they'd not want to vote Noah. After this, it's 9. I don't want to get too far ahead of myself, just to see how the dynamic is structured to truly figure out whether or not Noah is the best move for me. Liam-AM-Sara are essentially a trio, and they're all good with me bc I voted with them and included them all Chris-Rizo will be an even tighter duo, with Kyle as their auxiliary, and they'll all hate me. However, because I pushed the vote off Rizo (which is evidenced by the fact he got the vote at the challenge), I don't think it's fair to say that I ruined these relationships beyond repair, which I would have if Rizo left. Austin is still the most powerful guy in the room, but he's a powerful guy who fully trusts me. Cheatham has the idol, so keeping him on my good side is essential. To be honest, earlier flushing the idol was my top priority, but now I would not mind if he kept the idol for the rest of the game. Doesn't hurt my game, and as long as Austin is here, why would he take a shot at me? So I think it's fair to say that, based on my current understanding of the dynamic, I am making the best move for my game.

Im gradually realizing Cheatham is the answer. We majorly messed up by not giving him immunity and now I want to talk to him to fix it. Rizo doesnt want me to with fear that it could ruin things but like I cant just sit here and do nothing. He doesnt wanna talk to Austin, Austin doesnt want to talk to him, OG Petrel doesnt want to talk to us, and so really this boils down to us needing to persuade Cheatham. I dont feel right if I dont talk to explain how bad of a decision it was and I'll work to fix it but for now Im just gonna do what Rizo says and wait

Merge !! Wohoo this is where the game starts and I must say I’m playing hard. And it’s starting to backfire. Chris not voting AM out our first Petrel tribal really fucked me because it showed where I lied. I was trying to play both sides and unfortunately it’s biting me in the ass. It’s crazy cuz austin is doing the same thing but it’s working for him. I got last in the challenge because my name is being mentioned and the next target. Austin is clearly the snake and I can’t say I’m mad good for him but he is someone I need out. He mentioned my name to Kyle and with a vote on me already I’m assuming I have 5 votes to my name going into tribal. I know I have Chris and Kyle on board to vote with me. Noah is next to go so he is down to vote with me and I saved Vincent so why wouldn’t he vote me. That leaves 5-5 with cheatham being the swing. I’m trying to convince him that I got his back and I truly do he is a power player With that idol and is a great shield. He is upset he wasent granted immunity by our alliance and that is a valid reason but I don’t want that to cost me my game. Cheatham says he is going to try to take the target off my back but I really want him to vote austin out with Us to make it 6-5 blindside. It would be iconic to get out a big player like austin who is playing a Rob C type of game. It just sucks cuz if I go Kyle and Chris my go too guys are next and austin will steamroll you the end. If it’s my time I played the game how I wanted to play. I’m not going to quit until my torch is snuffed but looking at it now, I have a big uphill battle but if I can pull this off, it goes down in the history books.

(LATER)

Oh shit coming back to you with some great? News. Cheatham and austin came to me stating that they will save me and they want Noah out? Is that what I want? NOPE! Will I do that to stay in the game ? YESSIR! Obviously I want noah to stay cuz he is a shield for me and seems to want to work with me but cheatham says Noah has treated him like shit and austin dislikes him. At this rate I have to lay low and just let austin and cheatham make the move to save me. I’ll tell Chris to vote noah and make sure as much votes go to noah as possible. After noah leaves I can regroup and think of a strategy but tonight the goal is to survive no matter who goes besides Chris and Kyle. I need us 3 to stick together to have a chance. But I might have some life in this game !

Am I a mess for telling Cheatham Bottom Halfs votes in the challenge? Yes. But if it keeps him more likely to want Rizo in then I'll take the consequences

SOOO. OH BOY. I'm in a pretty good alliance with Sara, Liam, cheatham, and Austin. We are all working together against everyone else. I like the comfort, but it's clear that it won't last for long. Apparently Austin is working both sides, and it's just veryyyy frustrating not knowing if there's another plan you're not a part of. I'm doing pretty good developing the trust I have with others, and I'm happy with how I'm doing right now. I want to nap.

So much has happened! So glad that Gwen's elimination went to plan and even ended up unanimous against her, she would've been even more scary in this merge. I've been taking a deliberate backseat in this past challenge because it's messy as fuck & I'd rather everyone else take the heat at the end of the day, I've not heard my name at all & both sides are speaking to me decently regularly so I don't feel in danger at all tonight. I'm hoping the votes to get Rizo eliminated are there because as much as I like the guy he rarely speaks to me & I'm not keeping around people who refuse to speak to me, enjoy ponderosa!

As of now I think the Noah votes over. Noah conveniently is told and only 4 people knew it. So it tells me that Cheatham/Austin probably planned to set us up or something. So now I just want to get Austin to own up to things...which is unlikely

Fuck Kyle lmao chatting shit at tribal with his fake woke bullshit, I'm so over this tribal & I can't wait for it to be over so we can move on and get the rest of this game underway because there's so many more angles I wanna explore & I need the people I know I can't work with on the jury.

9 votes Rizo, 2 votes Austin.