#stormpilot fanifiction

[intergalacticwartimespace]

Scorpio Rising Chapter 1

Author: @intergalacticwartimespace

Title: Scorpio Rising

Pairing: FinnPoe, ReyRose, minor FinnRose

Summary:  When Poe Dameron reaches the end of his rope, he ties a knot. But sometime after Crait, the rope just breaks. Finn tries hard and means well, but his attempts at love and friendship are messy and uncertain. Rose wrestles with immense grief and survivors guilt, and somewhere in the middle of it all Rey puts everything into what little she knows about love and the force to save her friends from self-sabotage before it’s too late. Unable to reach him, Poe’s friends watch him hellbent on a path of self-destruction as they try to navigate their way through this strange new world. The Rebels know their cause is a worthy one with a high price to pay, but they wonder, if it doesn’t kill them, then at what cost will liberation come?

TW:  PTSD, Derealization/Depersonalization, Nightmares

A/N:  I have had this fic idea in my head since I saw TLJ. I have a lot of mixed feelings about TLJ and this is one of many ideas to fix things. It's gonna be really angsty! But things will get better. Eventually. This fic was inspired by the song Scorpio Rising by Soccer Mommy. I have the whole fic outlined and several chapters are written so I will try to update every TUESDAY!

   Scorpio Rising Chapter 1

When Poe Dameron wakes, he has to remind himself that he isn’t on the Millenium Falcon anymore.

It’s okay, it’s okay, you’re on the old rebel base on Dantooine. Poe attempted to soothe himself. Get it together Dameron. You’re fine. The metal of the abandoned derelict rebel base creaked as the wind braced the Dantooine plains. He knows he had a nightmare but he can’t quite remember what was so terrifying about it. His sheets are wet and his shirt and shorts stick to him, but he isn’t hot at all, he is so cold, cold, cold.

He had been on Crait, sliding foot first into the pit, but when he falls into the trench he doesn’t see Resistance soldiers. Finn’s got his tongue halfway down Rose’s throat. Poe tries to climb out of the trench but his legs don't work the way he wants them to so he sits down. He’s in his orange jumpsuit and he doesn’t know where his jacket is. Rey sits down next to him. “Where’s my jacket?” he asks. Rey tells him that it’s Taungsday and she is in love with Kylo Ren.

That's when Poe woke up. When he recalls the dream it doesn’t seem scary at all, in fact, it seems kind of silly. But for some reason, Poe’s room on base feels like an alleyway now and even though he is pretty sure he is alone, he keeps touching his back to make sure something isn’t crawling on his skin.

Poe decides that at this point it’s best to just get dressed, BB-8 would be waking him in an hour anyway. Poe pulls off clammy clothes on the way to the refresher. The shower screen slides behind him with a satisfying sound. Even after he has washed all the sweat off, Poe still feels other.

Since the skeleton crew of the Millenium Falcon had settled into the run-down Dantooine Rebel Base, a few more people had joined. When they had arrived, they numbered about 20 people. A few fleets had managed to escape D-Qar, but many remained scattered throughout the Outer-Rim, trying to not congregate in one place where they would be easy pickings for the First Order if found. A few more transports had joined Leia’s group on Dantooine a couple weeks before. They now had a few medical droids and a handful of X-wings, but not much more than that. Their crew numbers something in the low 300s now and while it was an improvement from the previous few survivors, it is not much to speak of.

Poe joined his friends, Rose, Rey, and Finn in the noisy messhall for breakfast. Over the last few weeks the crew has gotten a chance to know eachother better, though some would argue that nothing bonds sous quicker than surviving a war. Conversation with Rey came easily. Poe found that she knew more about ships and their maintenance than he even knew was possible. And though he was several years her senior, she possessed a blunt but wise perspective on the galaxy, which Poe decided, may or may not have had something to do with being the last of the jedi, an orphan of her family and her culture. Things with Finn had settled into an uneasy calm as Finn tried to find his place in the Resistance. Poe insisted that this is where he belongs, You’re one of us now, he always reminded him. But for all the votes of encouragement, Finn often times still seemed wide-eyed. It didn’t help that Poe was harboring some secret feelings, but for the time being, he had decided it wasn’t the right time to bring it up with Finn right now. Where Rose was concerned,  Poe didn’t know her that well, although he knew her late sister, Paige, somewhat. He couldn't shake the feeling that he owed her something, though if he did, she never let on.

Nevertheless, the laughing crew were a sight for sore eyes. Poe slid into his spot next to Finn and nudged his shoulder with his. Finn looked away embarrassed. Poe thought he could see him blush but he’s not sure.

Poe had joined in the middle of Rey regaling everyone with her tales of Luke Skywalker. “So, like, I’m reaching my hands out and I can feel it, y’know, I can actually feel the Force,” Rey acts out the action accordingly.

“And then what?” Finn leans forward. He wants to believe in the Force so much. Poe wished he didn’t find everything he did so fucking endearing.

“Luke was like ‘Oh the force must be so strong with you,’” She mocked. “And then I like open my eyes, and it was just Luke tickling my fingers with a blade of grass!” Rey exclaims. She slams her hand on the table in comedic exasperation, startling Poe. “Like, who does that.”

  Finn rolls his eyes and takes a bite of bacon. “Luke Skywalker, apparently,”

“I can’t believe he would do that…” Rose says. She seems genuinely troubled that Luke Skywalker would do such a thing.

“Can’t say I’m surprised,” Poe says. “He is Leia’s brother.” Poe remembers Leia’s slapping him and the general feeling of Holdo’s barely readable expression that somehow also communicated pure disdain for Poe. He decides it's time to think about something else.

“Yeah, how is that,” Rey takes a bit of food and in between mouthfuls says, “You and Leia? You said you felt kind of weird about it.” Rey notices Poe become guarded. Poe notices her noticing. Finn and Rose share a silent exchange.

“Oh, it’s fine…”  though Poe knows he does not sound convincing. “Things are alright,” he said, because they weren’t. It wasn’t one thing so much as it was everything. Poe didn’t want to fight with Leia.

But Poe was also a Scorpio rising, apparently. Reckless flyboy. Poe turned the words over in his head.

“Poe?” Rey asked. He had been gone too long. Rose stood to put away her tray and Finn followed her lead. “Sorry, Rey, I’m just really tired. I didn’t sleep very well.” It wasn’t a lie but, it wasn’t the whole truth either.

That night Poe had the same dream twice, the same dream he had the night before and the week before that. The woman of the Creche is telling him that his Scorpio Rising is interfering with his Sagittarius sun. Poe can’t seem to meet her black eyes. He stares at the blue oval on her forehead. “You are ready to sacrifice, young Sagittarius, but others are not.” Poe starts to ask what she means but it feels like there is something gummy in his mouth. “You need to tell him,” she says. She cracks an egg.

After the second time having the dream, Poe doesn’t fall back asleep. He feels with a certain intensity that he must tell Finn how he feels, but that goes against the rules. Poe’s rules, for himself, that is.

No fraternizing with the enemy

No fraternizing within the friend group

Depending on who you ask, Poe realized, Finn is both of those. Also, depending on who you ask, Poe has broken both of those rules at least a few times.

The next morning, Poe got to mess early taking a seat at their usual table. He couldn’t stop looking around. He tried to be as casual as possible, but he couldn’t quite achieve that with the caf jittering through his veins. The mess hall seemed unusually bright and unusual busy today, he noted. He secretly knew it was always like this but everything seemed hyper-real. Those fucking fluorescent lights.

Poe rubbed his eyes and quickly scanned the mess hall for Finn. As Poe turned to look behind him, he immediately wished that he hadn’t. Finn looked good. Poe tried not to notice how nicely his pants seemed to fit him this morning. He tried to very casually act like he wasn’t staring or that he wanted to stare. Poe bit his lip and tried to think of anything else. The mere sight of Finn in his jacket made him jump. Then he noticed Rose walking beside him. He suddenly remembered his place in their dynamic; he wasn’t anything significant.

Finn sat down across from Poe and not next to him. Poe tried not to assign any significance to the interaction as Rose took a seat beside Finn. Seconds later, Rey clattered into the seat next to Poe. “If you aren’t gonna eat your pancakes, can I have them?” she asked. Poe slid his tray over and left. He wasn’t hungry anymore.

“BB-8. Hold. Still.” Poe grunted. BB-8 whirred lowly, rocking back and forth. “I know you don’t like maintenance, but you aren’t in a position to argue.”

BB-8 chirped disdainfully.

“I wouldn't say that if I were you, I’ve got a screwdriver in your circuits right now.”

There was a knock at the door of Poe’s quarters. Poe groaned as BB-8 broke free to go answer the door.

“Dammit, BB-8! Oh, Finn…” Poe straightened his posture and casually put away the screwdriver he had been angrily waving at his droid.

“Hey Poe,” Finn flashed that blinding white smile that always made Poe’s heart melt. “May I come in?”

“Buddy, you are welcome here anytime you like,” Poe patted his arm and stepped aside to let him in.

“Oh, thank stars,” Finn said. Finn sat on one end of Poe’s bunk and Poe joined him on the other. “Something has been bugging me, and I’ve been meaning to ask you…”     

“What’s up?” Poe’s heart started beating a little faster.

“Well, I’m sure you noticed everything that’s going on between me and Rose,” Finn nervously picked at the bedsheets. He wouldn’t meet Poe’s eyes.

“No, what's been going on?” Poe wasn’t sure what he was implying, there were two possible answers.

Rose’s feelings for Finn were unrequited.

Poe’s feelings for Finn were unrequited.

Poe hoped it wasn’t option 1. He had a bad feeling about this. Finn took a deep breath and gathered a fistful of sheets in his hands. “Well, Rose, y’know she kissed me on Crait, I’m sure you are aware, and you see in the First Order we didn’t really, you see-”

“Oh.” The room shrank. All at once Poe realized this wasn’t a love confession. He had completely read the situation all wrong. Finn was seeking advice.

“Do you like her?” Poe asked. The question hung in the air. Finn knitted his eyebrows together. “I mean, yeah. I like Rose. I do. Like her, that is. Why wouldn’t I?”

Poe pressed his lips together. Something about the way Finn said it bugged him, but it wasn’t quite jealousy. It was just that, well, Finn liked most people. Finn likes everyone, what does he know about love? Poe thought.

“I liked kissing, I think, I don't know-- it didn't last very long. I like my friends. Dating is just a combination of those two things, right?” Finn simplified.

“That’s..not really how it works at all.” Poe was barely managing civility at this point. He was so not the person Finn should be talking to about this, and Finn, he trusts Poe. And Poe was completely and hopelessly in love with him. He was on the outside looking in. Who was he to be explaining love to the man who did not love him?

“See, Rose thinks I’m this Big Resistance Hero, but the truth is, I’ve never been with a girl like that. I’ve never been with anyone like that, you know what I mean?” Unfortunately, Poe did. “I need your help Poe. I just don't know what to do.”

Poe hadn’t felt a single thing in weeks, nothing more than a vague sense of constant impending doom, since Crait. But the way Finn spoke about Rose with such careful care in his voice flicked a switch he had forgotten existed. Half his friends had died. His squad had died. And suddenly he could feel it all. This was hardly the ideal time for this to be happening. Terribly angry, somewhat endeared, and tremendously sorry, Poe turned away.

“Poe, are you...crying?”

Poe threw his hands up in exasperation and stood. “I have to go fix BB-8,” he said and left. Without BB-8. His droid beeped from his charging station in the corner.

[What the fuck just happened?]

“I have no idea.”