#stupid thing but i'm making rude gestures at my writer's block

[bitletsanddrabbles]

Modern AMEW

Not today, writer's block! I'mma write a THING even if it is stupid and short and just exists to say I wrote a THING!

-

"Mama, I can't find the kittens," George pouted, looking under the sofa.

Mary sighed. Sybbie had wanted a kitten, so for her birthday Tom had taken her to see Mr. Mason whose cat had just had a litter. Of course George and Marigold had come along and by the time the birthday girl had selected her new pet, the others had fallen in love with two of it's litter mates. Fortunately Marigold's kitten went with her back to Brancaster, but given that it was a litter of four, none of the children could abide the idea of the last kitten being left all alone, so it had been taken for Caroline, even though she was too young to care. It had all gone well enough, so far, but George was having problems with the notion that kittens, unlike toys, could move and therefore wouldn't always be there when you wanted them. "They've probably fallen asleep somewhere, Georgie, and you should let them be. Kittens need to play, but they also need a lot of sleep."

The boy sighed, but obediently stood and nodded. At least he was old enough to understand things the first time he was told.

Mary smiled and ruffled his hair. "I'm sure they'll turn up. Why don't you see if your father has time to play a bit of cricket? He normally has a bit of free time about now. And speaking of finding things, I need to find Thomas. We were going to do the roof inspection today."

"Alright, Mama!" Apparently concern for the missing kittens was easily overruled by the possibility of maybe hitting the ball this time. He was getting better at it. He started to run out of the room, then immediately checked himself to a fast walk, apparently remembering the rules about running in the house.

Mary watched him go with fond pride, then, checking her watch, went in search of her third butler. They'd agreed that three o'clock would be the best time for the inspection, so it was odd that Thomas wasn't already there. Although he had his faults (although he'd grown out of the worst of them, thankfully), he was normally Johnny on the spot when it came to punctuality. He wasn't in the office. Thinking that perhaps he'd gotten talking and lost track of time, she checked the staff break room, but he wasn't there. Andrew was there, though, so she asked him.

"Last I knew he was going to the library, m'lady," the young man replied. "There was something he wanted to look over for the event tomorrow."

'The event' was Edith giving a reading from her most recent book. It was being held at Downton rather than Brancaster because the book was set in Yorkshire...and, Mary was quite certain, because her sister wanted to drive her insane. Really, she wasn't always popping up to hold events at Edith's house! Still, that wasn't Andrew's problem. With a nod and a word of thanks, she turned and headed to the library.

As she walked through the door, Mary immediately spotted Thomas sitting on one of the sofas. "There you are. I've been wait-" she stopped, her notice moving beyond 'butler' and 'sofa' to take in the entirety of his situation. She sighed. "Oh. Oh dear."

Thomas gave her an apologetic look. "Sorry. I sat down." He grimaced. "In my defense, my shoe had come untied and I just meant to lace it up, but before I was done the grey one got me and...well."

"Yes, I see." Mary looked at the butler, firmly pinned in place by a small pile of fur in his lap. If you knew the colours you were looking for, you could pick out all three kittens - grey, black, and multi-coloured. They were clearly all asleep.

Thomas simply looked at her. She'd never seen the man look so helpless in her life.

After a moment of debate, she did the only thing she could do under the circumstances. Shaking her head, she sighed and looked at the mantle clock. "I suppose we can do the inspection a bit later. They're kittens, they can't sleep that long." She gave the butler a smile that was probably more confident than she felt.

"I'd think not," Thomas replied, although he didn't sound as certain.

"Right then, aim for four?"

[beenbaanbuun]

Late Night, Come Home - Kim Seokjin

It's been a while... sorry about that. I went through a period of writers block that turned into a year of writers block. Mix that with the fact that I travelled to the other side of the world for three months this summer. I've been a little busy lmaoooooo. Buy, hey, I'm back. No idea how often I'll be writing or posting and I wont promise anything, but this is a start, right?

Words: 3.2k

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Language, Making out, Jin being the nicest man alive

You stood there, dripping rainwater onto the door mat outside of your neighbour's apartment. It was a long shot given the fact that it was almost 3 AM, but you had no choice. You couldn’t get into your own apartment and you desperately needed somewhere to stay for the night. You knocked again, the guilt of potentially waking him up already gnawing at you. 

“I’m coming,” a voice said from the other side of the door. The jingle of keys soon followed and before you knew it, the door swung open to reveal Kim Seokjin. Your neighbour. 

He stood there, looking down at you with barely open eyes. Pyjama bottoms hung loose around his hips as if they’d just been thrown on before he came to open the door, but he hadn’t had the courtesy to throw on a top. The knowledge that your neighbour slept naked sunk in slowly, a pink blush steadily rising through your body. 

“Hi, Mr Kim,” you greeted, voice sheepish. 

“Don’t call me that,” he grumbled, “makes me feel old.”

It was awkward. You didn’t know what to say. After all, you couldn’t exactly just barge into his house, nor could you really ask him if he’d let you sleep there. Your mother had always taught you that it was good manners to wait to be invited in. The last thing you wanted was to add to that by making him think you were rude. 

“Sorry,” you spluttered. You couldn’t look at him, scared that your eyes would linger for too long on his toned abs or his plush lips that you hadn’t really paid much attention to until now. Instead, you looked at your feet and the wet patch that surrounded them. You were lucky the hallway was sheltered, although you doubted your clothes could soak up any more water if they tried. 

“No problem,” he was avoiding looking at you too. You’d clearly gone out for the night and the tight white dress that had gone see through in the rain left nothing to the imagination. As much as he wanted to take a good long stare, he was a gentleman. “I assume it’s an emergency.” 

Was it? It felt stupid to say that it was, especially when the whole situation was avoidable. But as you stood there, terrified of the thought of having to sleep in the hallway all night, you decided that yes, it was an emergency. With your phone, keys and money all in your roommate’s bag, there really was no other word for it. Of course, you couldn’t help but remind yourself that if you’d taken your own bag, you wouldn’t be standing on your neighbour’s doorstep wondering if he’d give you a bed for the night. Hindsight was a wonderful thing. 

“I’m locked out,” you muttered, embarrassed about your predicament, “Kate has all my stuff and she’s off with her man doing… something.”

At the mention of your roommate, he rolled his eyes into the back of his head. It seemed odd that he had an issue with her given that the two rarely spoke. They’d say ‘hi’ to each other in the hall on occasion, but that was the extent of their contact with one another. 

“You’d best come in then,” the door was opened wider and Seokjin stepped back so that you could enter his home. You gladly obliged, limping slightly as you stepped over the threshold. You hadn’t noticed how bad your shoes had rubbed on the way back. You guessed you were too busy trying not to catch hypothermia. The pain was immeasurable though, and you yelped out as you took the step. 

Seokjin just shot you an unreadable look and gestured for you to stay there. It was his home, so you listened to him. It would be impolite not to. He scurried further into his apartment, disappearing for a moment or two. You didn’t mind though; it gave you plenty of time to inspect your surroundings. 

His apartment was much nicer than your own. Cleaner too. The wooden floors didn’t have so many chips, and the sage green paint wasn’t peeling away from the walls. The mirror that hung above his hardwood dresser was polished and lacked all the makeup splatters and finger marks that gave your own hallway mirror character. Even the plants he kept in there were so much nicer. Each of them was thriving, a plethora of healthy leaves coming from the stems, whereas yours were all brown and decaying. 

You grinned to yourself, the thought of Seokjin waking up every morning and watering his plants filling up your brain. You wondered if he wore the same checkered pyjama bottoms as he shuffled around with a watering can in one hand and a coffee in the other. It was almost sweet, the way that you pictured him in your brain. 

“You’re looking mighty happy for someone who resembles a drowned rat,” the grumpy voice of your neighbour brought you back down to earth though, wiping the smile off your face entirely. “Here.”

You focussed on him, noticing that he now had a lilac hoodie on. It was hard to hide your disappointment in the fact that you could no longer sneak tiny glances at his tanned stomach, but at least now you could look at him without feeling like a dirty voyeur. 

In one hand was a fluffy towel, lilac to match his jumper. In the other was a set of clothes with a pair of fluffy socks placed gently on top. Given your height differences, you were almost positive that his clothes would be way too big on you, but you were still thankful for the kind gesture. Honestly, you’d wear anything if it meant that you no longer had to feel the cheap material of your dress clinging to you like plastic wrap. 

“Oh, thank you,” you kept your responses to him formal, despite the fact that he didn’t have the courtesy to do the same. He did live here, you supposed, and it was 3 AM. He was probably too tired to act polite to the girl who had shown up on his doorstep. You were honestly thankful enough that he let you in in the first place. “Is there a bathroom I can change in?”

He nodded. 

“Down the hall to the left,” he said, “take your shoes off first, though. I’ve done well to avoid any chips.” 

Once again, you felt a twinge of embarrassment. You couldn’t believe you were just about to stroll across his pristine floor in the very shoes that were responsible for half of the dints in your own. How very inconsiderate of you, you scolded yourself as you slipped them off. 

“Thank you,” you said again. 

“Meet me in the kitchen when you’re changed, okay?” You nodded before shuffling your way to his bathroom. 

You were right, the clothes were huge on you. Not in a bad way, though. They were warm and cozy and the sleeves fell over your hands so you could make sweater paws with them. The material felt like clouds as it brushed against your damp, icy skin, and you were dreading when the time came for you to take them off and change back into your own clothes. How could you when you’d now felt the luxury of Seokjin’s?

The towel he’d given you was wrapped around your hair, slowly taking in all the water that had weighed it down. It felt good to no longer have long, wet strands sticking to your face and neck, and you were sure that with the quality of the towel, it’d be dry in no time. 

You gave yourself one last look in the mirror, a shy smile rising to your face as you realised just what was happening. It was like something out of a romance novel, except for the fact you were pretty sure your neighbour was only doing this because he was a good person, not because he was secretly in love with you. You took a deep breath and controlled your expression before you opened the bathroom door and followed the sound of a microwave spinning to the kitchen. 

As you stepped into the room, Seokjin was busy taking whatever it was out of the microwave. It smelled of stew, and the thought of a nice warm meal made your stomach rumble. The sudden sound caught his attention, and once again, you felt a familiar heat in your cheeks. 

“Come sit,” he pointed at a chair as he finished preparing the food, “It’s leftovers from today, but it should still be fresh.”

Honestly, you didn’t care about the freshness. You were just flattered that he’d gone out of his way to get you some food, even if all he did was microwave it. 

“Thank you.”

“Is ‘thank you’ the only thing you’re capable of saying?” His question caught you off guard a little. What else did he want you to say? You sent him a questioning look in return. “Well, you show up at my doorstep at stupid O’clock and all you say is you can’t get into your own apartment? I want a little more information than that, don’t you think?” 

You guessed he was right. You’d given him as little information as humanly possible and yet he still had the kindness to let you into his home, lend you his clothes and feed you. 

“What do you want to know?” You asked. 

“Everything, really,” he replied, “from the beginning.”

As you started to explain how on earth you got stranded, Seokjin moved to sit down across from you with a plate full of warm stew in his hand. He pushed it across to you, briefly interrupting your story to tell you to eat. You simply smiled, thanking him once again, and took the fork from his hand. Every so often, he’d take a break from listening to you and gesture to the food to remind you to take a bite. It seemed you were so wrapped up in the events of the night that you couldn’t even focus on anything other than recounting them. 

You didn’t know why, though. It’s not like you felt angry or betrayed by your friend, even though you probably should have. In your mind, you couldn’t help but try and justify her actions. She was sad about losing her job, and how was she to know that Lewis would be there to seduce her? She probably thought that staying with Lewis for the night would help get rid of some of her frustrations. 

“I don’t know,” you sighed. Explaining the whole situation just made you feel worse about the whole thing. Still, you couldn’t bring yourself to blame her. She was your best friend after all. “She’s just forgetful.”

“Why are you defending her?” Seokjin grumbled. 

“She’s my friend. 

“And she treats you like shit,” his voice was loud, but he wasn't angry. Frustrated was a better word to describe it. Annoyed, possibly, at your ignorance of your friend’s actions. You couldn't help but feel ashamed of your instinct to forgive her no matter what. “She’s lucky you made it here safe, you know. Anything could’ve happened.”

You felt like a child being scolded, and yet you knew you needed to hear it. It was the same things you’d been telling yourself for a while now, but ignoring your thoughts seemed like the best course of action. Having someone else lay them out in front of you made you realise just how stupid you’d been to value your friendship over your feelings.

There was a familiar ache in your head and your eyes welled up with glistening tears. Everything had just piled up and you couldn’t hold it in anymore. It’s just a shame you were sat with a man you barely knew instead of alone in your bedroom with a bottle of wine by your side to comfort you. 

And you half expected the atmosphere to get even more awkward. What, with you hunched over and sobbing into a half-eaten bowl of stew that was quickly going cold? It wouldn’t have been a surprise to you if Seokjin sat there in silence, unsure of what to do to help the woman he’d invited into his home. 

But then you heard his chair legs scrape along the floor, and the pitter patter of bare feet on the tile floor. And before you knew it, he’d squatted down next to you and placed a warm hand on your back. Soft, calming hushes left his mouth as soothing shapes were drawn onto your spine. 

“Get it all out, Y/N,” he whispered, “bottling it up never does any good.”

So you did. It was about 5 minutes before your tears ran out and all that was left were pathetic little sniffles every now and then. Seokjin remained silent, the only semblance of proof that he was still there being the hand that remained firmly on your spine. You were grateful; you didn’t need him to say anything else at that moment. You knew all you had to know. 

“Thank you, Seokjin,” you quietly snivelled out. He let out a snort of laughter. 

“I thought I told you to stop saying thank you,” you nodded, even though you knew you wouldn’t stop. You needed him to know you were grateful for everything he’d done. He didn’t have to let you into his home, just like he didn’t have to lend you clothes or feed you. He didn’t even have to sit and comfort you as you cried, and yet he did. As silly as you sounded saying it, you felt indebted to him. “And call me Jin. I think we’re past formalities.”

“Are we?” 

“I think so,” his voice remained soft as he talked to you as if he was still trying to help you through your mini-breakdown. “Practically best friends, by my standards.”

That fetched a laugh out of you. You’d barely spoken to the man before tonight, and yet he seemed intent on making you feel comfortable with him. And in a strange way, you did. He’d shown a lot more care towards you than he would if he classed you as a stranger, even though that’s pretty much what you were. You seemed to trust him more than a stranger too. Perhaps it was a mutual desire for something more to come out of this. A friendship, perhaps, although you wouldn’t mind if it led to even more than that. Seokjin was among some of the best-looking men you’d ever seen…

“Sure we are,” you gave him a sad smile, “Jin.”

He smiled in return. 

“That’s more like it,” the grin on his face was obvious when he spoke. “Now, how about you finish your stew and we can go get you settled into the spare room.”

You let out a chuckle as he grabbed the spoon and held it up to your lips. He made a show of blowing on the food to cool it down, and you couldn’t help but shudder at the proximity of his face to yours. As the spoon made contact with your ever-so-slightly parted lips, you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. 

And it seemed as though he couldn’t either. As the spoon breached your lips he let out a heavy breath through his own. You didn’t know where the sudden tension came from, but it wasn’t unwelcome. Your only hope was that he felt it too. That he wanted to put his lips on yours just as badly as you wanted him to. 

And God, did you want him to. 

You didn’t even know where the urge had come from. The man had never piqued your interest before tonight, but perhaps seeing him in such a… domestic setting was what was getting you going. The pyjama pants that mismatched his hoodie in such a perfect way, or perhaps the bed head that he hadn’t even bothered to sort out since you’d stepped through his front door. Everything about him was just so familiar, and you didn’t even know the man. 

He did the same thing, grabbing a spoonful of stew before lifting it up to your face and blowing. Whether intentional or not, his breath tickled your face and you couldn’t help but scrunch up your nose. 

“You’re kind of cute, you know,” Jin whispered, once more pushing the food into your awaiting mouth. “I never noticed until now, but Jesus Christ, I could just…”

He trailed off, but you wanted nothing more than to hear what he had to say. You swallowed. 

“Just what?” 

There was a thud as the spoon hit the table and the hand that held it made it’s way up to your cheek. It rested there, thumb brushing your soft skin. 

“Just want to kiss you, baby,” he chuckled, leaning in a little closer until his face was just an inch from yours. “Are you okay with that?” 

Of course, you nodded. Enthusiastically, actually, which brought a bright smile to Jin’s face, but he made no move. 

“Words, baby.” 

“Yes, Jin,” your voice was quiet, “please kiss me.”

And with that, his lips were on yours. It was slow at first, as if the two of you were finding your feet. The way his plush lips gently caressed yours as the pad of his thumb matched the rhythm of the kiss on your cheek. 

It wasn’t long until you got a little braver, though, raising your own hands so you could grip onto his messy locks and pull him closer to you. He smiled against your mouth, nipping at your bottom lip with his exposed teeth. There was a sharp intake of breath from you before you dive back in for more, this time with a little more urgency. 

Lips crashed against lips feverishly and you couldn’t help but let out a little squeak as his tongue brushed against your lower lip. You let him in, of course, wanting nothing more than to feel Jin close. He seemed to realise that quickly, tugging your body to the edge of the seat and shuffling himself so that he was kneeling between your legs. You spread them wide so he could slot inside, as though the two of you were pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. 

It was a little strange, actually, how well the two of you seemed to fit together. His hair in your fingers felt normal, as did the way his large hands felt on your sides, and even though you’d perhaps spoken 10 words to one another since moving in next door, the feeling of him between your legs felt… perfect. 

Like he belonged there.

Eventually, the two of you pulled away for air and soft, breathy laughs filled the air. 

“Fuck, Y/N,” he laughed, leaning his forehead against yours, “I didn’t think I’d be making out with my neighbour at 4 in the morning, and yet…”

“Here we are.” 

“Here we are,” he grinned, “you must be tired.”

You nodded, although you wouldn't have minded staying up later with Jin.

But the man in question stood up, holding a hand out to you, and you couldn't help but let him pull you to your feet.

“Let's get you to bed.”

[justniaaa]

Unravel Me (3)

Rating: 18+ NSFW

Work Count: 3.8k

Pairing: Christopher “Rio” Martinez x black!oc

Warning: Panic attack, anxiety, self doubt, swearing, use of the “n” word

A/N: Hey loves! So excited to finally share the third chapter with you all! Forgive me for the late posting, I wanted to be a post once a week type of writer but that seems to be not the case, especially with my semester starting soon and a new job being in the works. But please bare with me, I will try and make sure you guys get content even if it’s not consistent.  Thank you for reading my story and please like, comment and reblog. Alright enough of my ramblings,  Enjoy and happy reading! <3

Summary: Toni forms an unsuspecting friendship with Christopher that turns into something more. As her feelings towards him continue to grow she starts to  unravel the secrets that surround him and in return, he unravels her completely.

Chapter 3: Welcome back

“Finally,” Toni said with relief as she pulled up in her Honda Accord at Lux. She made sure to get to the bar early and was happy when she got there with five minutes left to spare. Taking a moment to herself before going in, she tried to occupy her mind with checking her hair and makeup in the rearview mirror. Try as she must, doubt began to settle in the forefront of her mind, in if she was making the right decision. 

Toni felt her heart begin to beat faster and faster. Out of breath, and body hot she turned her AC on at full blast, Dr. Simone’s instructions ringing in her head.

--------------------------------Flashback------------------------------------------

Now Antonia if you ever feel like you’re going to have an anxiety attack, I want you to try this breathing exercise called “Calming Breath”.”

Toni listened to her therapist Dr. Simone with rapt attention, “Honestly doc, I’ll take anything to just stop this shit, excuse my french.”

Dr. Simone chuckled, amused by her slip up. “No need to apologize, Antonia. How many times do I have to tell you this is a place where you can express yourself freely without judgment?”

“I know, I know.”

“Now like I was saying before, I want you to try an exercise called “Calming Breath.” What that entails is you taking a long, slow breath through your nose, and holding your breath to the count of three then exhaling slowly through your lips. It should help you relax your muscles in your face, shoulders, and stomach. We can practice a couple of times if you would like.”

Toni shook her head in understanding, “Thanks doc, but I think I got it.” After a few seconds of silence, Dr. Simone gave her a knowing look. “But just in case I don’t have it, can you repeat the steps again?

----------------------End of flashback-------------------------------------------

Hearing Dr. Simone’s directions, Toni began her breathing exercises, breathe in, hold, breathe out. She did the steps a couple more times until she slowly felt her heartbeat go back to normal. Softly smiling Toni was proud of herself for getting her anxiety in check until she looked at the clock on her dashboard.

She had two minutes until her shift started.

“Fuck, I can’t be late when I’m literally sitting right in front of the place”

Toni made sure she had all her belongings and shut off the ignition, quickly hopping out and closing her car door. Walking to the entrance, she took in the building, like every bar it looked mediocre in the daytime, with its red brick and black awning. But at night that’s when it’s beauty really shined especially when they turned on the fairy lights outside that gave the establishment a welcoming shine. She reached the entrance and was debating if she should walk-in or call Avery, but before she could decide the door swung open, almost hitting her in the face.

“Woah!” Toni said, quickly jumping back and almost breaking her neck in the process from her heeled boots.

“Oh, shit my fault ma!”

Toni heard a low voice apologize as she was looking down at her scuffed boots. Anger and embarrassment flooded through her, she was angry because her boots had white marks all over them and embarrassed because of course, this would happen to her of all people.

“Shit, you not crying right? Your shoes are fire but they not worth your tears.”

Is this nigga for real?

Toni finally looked up to show the man she wasn’t having a breakdown, “First of all, I’m not crying, I'm pissed and second of all the door is literally glass how did yo-?!”

“Oh shit Antonia?!”

Startled by the interruption, she stared confused at how he knew her name. A few seconds passed until the realization set in after she took in his dark skin and short box braids. He’s had the same hairstyle since college.

“Sean?!”

“Yoo! I can’t believe it’s you!” Sean came in for a hug as Toni stood there in shock, her hands came up awkwardly to hug him back. “It’s good to see you girl! How you been?!”

I’m emotionally damaged, I haven’t had sex in months and I don’t know what I’m doing with my life.

“I’m good, and I go by Toni now mostly. How are you?”

Sean shook his head, “My fault, my fault.”

Her question wasn’t answered as Sean took a step back, eyes roving over her body. He had a smirk on his lips as he took in her black sheer top, fitted black jeans, and her slightly damaged snake print block heeled boots. “Damn Ant- I mean Toni, you look even better than you did in college.”

Toni was grateful that he caught himself and at the same time she sucked her teeth. “You are so full of shit, reminds me of back in the day when you would flirt with all the girls in our Humanities class, and Honey would get pissed at you for it.”

His smirk noticeably dropped, showcasing that her sister was a sore topic. Trying to lighten the mood Toni bumped him with her hip, “Anyways, I can’t believe you still work here, looking cute with your all black ensemble on.” He was wearing black, from the t-shirt to the jeans and even his Vans.

It reminds me of a certain someone.

“You know how I do.” He told her, popping his faux collar, “My I.T hours are slim to none sometimes, so a couple of months ago I asked Avery for work to keep me above water.”

Toni let out a harsh breath, “That’s why I’m here too, I just hope I can remember my orders, hell even how to make drinks properly...”

Sean nodded and wrapped his arm around Toni’s shoulders, noticing her growing unease. “Hey, no need to be nervous. You know this bar like the back of your hand and from what I remember I know you would’ve brushed up on your skills before you even thought about calling Avery for a job. I got your back, with whatever, so stop worrying about stupid shit.”

Toni looked up at him and saw the sincerity on his face. When they met freshman year he always treated her like a sibling, making sure to help her out if she ever needed him.

“You getting soft on me nigga?” Toni asked, breaking the sappiness between them. She lightly punched his stomach, making Sean playfully wince in pain. She laughed and wrapped her arm around his side, “Damn, you really are soft Sean.”

“Shut up killa, before I tell Avery on you for being rude to his favorite employee.”

“Now that I’m back, I think that title comes back to me,” Toni gestured to herself.

“Fuck out of here.”

They both chuckled as they walked to the entrance, the joking continuing between the old friends.

********************************************************************************************

Toni had been at the bar for hours, and like Sean said she quickly got back into the swing of things. When she walked in three minutes late because of her small catch up with him, she was worried Avery was going to wring her neck especially since it was technically her first day. But all he did was yell out, “Toni, baby welcome back!” His New York accent prominent.

The Italian man looked mostly the same if not a little gray on the edges of his once all black hair. The last time she saw him he didn’t have crinkles near his eyes when he smiled but Toni thought they fit him perfectly. Avery had a small belly now and wore a red dress shirt that was rolled up at the sleeves, showcasing his tattoo of his favorite pinup girl Bettie Page on his forearm. After all these years he still hadn’t strayed from the black slacks always saying, “The color never shows the stains of a bad night.” After introducing Toni to the rest of  her coworkers he went to the backroom to meet with some associates, letting her know he would be back to help out later.

It was ten o’clock and Rihanna’s Work was playing in the bar, making the mass of people sway to the music and talk with drinks in their hands. The crowd seemed to not be getting any smaller and Toni was taking people’s drink orders as she was making other customers drinks. She didn’t remember it being this busy on just a regular Wednesday night, but she could guess as areas started to get more gentrified the crowds began to change. 

The hanging lights gave Lux an intimate glow but provided enough light for people to see each other. Stools were lined up in front of the bar, and they were all filled with customers, laughing and drinking, some of them eating onion rings and french fries or whatever other bar snacks that were served. The wooden booths that were along the wall, gave patrons the option to be more personal and away from the crazy that was the bar counter.

“Hey Toni, I need a pitcher of Budweiser,” Rosa, her coworker, stood next to her, her voice was slightly raised because she was trying to be heard over the volume of the chatter.

“Gotcha babe,” Toni got out the plastic container and put it under the spigot, pulling the lever. As the brownish-gold liquid poured, she looked out into the mob, watching individuals coming in and out of Lux. Sean was vaguely seen from where she was standing, checking ID at the door. Toni stopped the stream of beer and turned to Rosa, handing her the pitcher, “Thank you!” The blue-haired woman said with a smile, leaving to go tend to her customer.

Toni was about to put her hand out to stop Rosa before she got too far. Wanting to let her know she was going to take her fifteen-minute break, when she heard, “Can I get a Jack on the rocks?”

Toni frowned, in confusion at hearing the deep voice that had been on her mind for the past several days. Was she thinking about him too much, that she conjured him up somehow? She slowly turned to the individual that never failed to give her goosebumps whenever she laid eyes on him. In his usual calm demeanor, Chris was sitting at the bar, looking at her with a raised brow and smirk playing on his lips.

And he looked good, really fucking good.

He had on a black button-up and a chain around his neck that made the eagle tattoo on his neck stand out on his tan skin. She didn’t know if it was possible but he looked even better than when she saw him last.

Fuck me.

Toni bit her lip from her sinful thoughts and got a glass from behind the bar, beginning to make his drink. She glanced up and saw him watching her with his dark eyes, making her downcast her gaze. Not wanting him to notice her slightly shaking hands as she got ice out of the chest, Toni finally spoke, “Well, look who's back.” she said while she poured the liquor into the chilly glass.

Chris looked amused as she put the drink down in front of him and in the process of releasing it his hand came up, holding onto the glass as well, making his fingers come in contact with hers.

“Missed me?” He asked both of their hands still on the drink and unmoving as they checked each other out.

Toni shrugged, “Hardly.”

“I think my feelings would be hurt if I actually believed you ma.”

Toni grinned at his words, “How was work? I didn’t think you would be back so soon.”

“Cut ties with some of my partners for fucking up the numbers, but shit is all good now.”

Toni went to reply when suddenly Avery came up next to Chris, he put a broad hand on his shoulder, “Toni I didn’t know you knew Rio.”

She moved her hand away from Chris’s touch and picked up the rag that was on the counter, cleaning up the sticky bar top. Toni felt like Avery caught her hand in the cookie jar and from his knowing look, it seemed like Avery might have the same sentiment as well.

Toni cleared her throat, “We just met, actually.” She didn’t really understand where the hell “Rio” came from when she had been calling him “Chris” for the past several weeks.

“Well let me introduce you two then, Rio this is Toni my returning employee and one of the best damn bartenders, I’ve ever had and Toni this is Rio, the co-owner of Lux and your boss,” Avery said making introductory motions between the two.

Toni’s eyes widened and she stopped fake wiping the counter. My boss?! How many businesses did this man have?

“That shits all semantics Avery, you're the real boss of this place. I’m just here to be a helping hand,” Chris said, giving Toni a pointed look, showing her that it wasn’t as simple as it seemed.

“I suppose.” Avery patted Chris’s shoulder again with a grin, then turned to Toni once more, “I think it’s time for your fifteen Toni the crew and I can handle it if another wave comes in.”

Toni nodded, “Thanks Avery, and nice to meet you, Rio,” she said sickly sweet. Toni left the rag on the counter and squeezed behind Rosa, leaving from behind the bar. She took a look behind her and saw Chris and Avery talking and her usually chill boss didn’t seem all that happy. Toni walked outside, seeing Sean sitting on a chair, his fingers moving quickly on his iPhone. He looked over when he saw her walk out, and gave her a smile displaying his pearly whites. “I was right, wasn’t I? Shit was like you never left.”

“Yes negro, you were right.” Toni said leaning against the window, her feet becoming achy.

“You can take my seat sis. I need to be standing anyway or Avery will have my ass if he catches me sitting again.”

Toni laughed, “Thanks.”

Sean got up and let her sit down, standing in silence. He kept glancing over to her while opening his mouth and closing it like he wanted to ask Toni something. After the third time of this, Toni sighed, “What Sean?”

“Nothin, Nothin…”

She gave him a sour look until he finally broke, “What’s with the name change?” Sean put his hands up in mock surrender, “Don’t get me wrong Honey and some of your friends called you Toni but you’ve never told anyone that they had to do the same.”

Toni went for nonchalance not wanting to alarm him, “I just thought Toni was better, it definitely helps with the awkwardness of people calling me Antonio all the time until I corrected them.” She thought that would be enough for Sean, because what she said made total sense but Toni was very, very wrong.

“Bullshit,” Sean said, making her mouth fall open.

“What do you mean, bullshit!?”

“You loved watching people get red in the face when you corrected them, so whatchu sayin’ is bullshit. We haven’t seen each other in a minute but I still know you, so give me the real reason before I call Latoya.”

They both knew her mom couldn’t hold water sometimes and even if she didn’t know the real reason, Toni didn’t want Sean talking to her and possibly unearthing secrets that she tried to keep buried for as long as possible. She took in a breath and crossed her arms. At first she didn’t know what to say to appease her old friend, as he waited for an explanation but she decided to stick to the truth as close as possible.

“I just wanted a change, I went through a hard time and to completely be rid of it, I made the decision to have people just call me Toni rather than Antonia. It really cemented for me that I was a different person than I was before.” Toni fiddled with a loose string on her jeans, “I mean my parents still call me Antonia and there are certain family members as well that do it too, but in my everyday life, I stick with Toni and the solace it gives me.”

Sean appeared satisfied with her answer, but Toni noticed there was a little squint to his eye like he knew that wasn’t the full truth but he let her statement stand.

“So, I’m probably hella corny for this and I know you won’t let me live this down but..”Sean outstretched his hand, “It’s nice to meet you, Toni.”

His expression was sincere and comical at the same time and it made Toni grin, “Nice to meet you too, Sean Puff Daddy Combs.”

Sean sucked his teeth, “Here we go with that Puff Daddy shit.”

A party of people came walking up as they were laughing, making Sean check their ID’s ending their conversation.

For a few minutes, Toni was scrolling through Instagram readying herself to go back inside soon when she saw Chris walk out of the bar. He was standing at the threshold and he seemed to be scanning the parking lot. When it appeared he didn’t find what he was looking for he went to turn back around, but he suddenly stopped when he saw Toni sitting in the corner.

Toni waved her hand, “Sup, Rio.”

Chris snickered and walked towards her, getting close enough that Toni could smell his cologne. He looked down at her as she looked up at him. “I can start calling you Rio if you prefer. I mean I have my own hang-up with my name, so it’s really fine,” she said.

“Nah,” He said, a matter of fact.

He didn’t supply any other explanation so Toni gave a soft “Okay,” and leaned back into the chair. Sean gave Chris a head nod as he kept doing his job and telling an apparent drunk couple, that they couldn’t come into the bar, much to their dismay.

“I didn’t know you had a problem with your name, I’ve been calling you Antonia since we met,” Toni turned her attention back on him, taking notice that he had a blunt in his hand and was lighting it up with a skull covered lighter. His gold rings glimmered from the lights coming from the windows of the bar.

“It’s my own personal shit, but shockingly I don’t mind hearing it from you.”

“Is that right?” Chris said. He took a hit and held in the smoke until he released it into the cool air, through his nose and mouth. Toni was mesmerized by the tendrils of smoke, she didn’t understand how he made even smoking attractive but everything Chris did turned her on. He offered her the blunt, probably thinkings that’s why she was staring but Toni declined, not really into smoking much like she used to because of a bad trip she had years ago.

“You probably think I’m weird as hell, that I pick and choose what people can address me as.”

“Nah I get it, some believe knowing a person’s real name makes you have power over them.”

Toni knitted her brow, “Do you believe that?” she asked him. Chris took another hit and rubbed his beard like he was mulling over the question.

“I tell my associate’s my name is Rio ‘cause I don’t want them to get to close, too familiar. When they start to get too comfortable and start to think we friends or some shit than that interferes with my business and I can’t have that.” Chris began playing with his rings like it was a tick of his that he probably never noticed he had, “So yeah I think having knowledge of someone's name can have some sort of power.”

She sighed and crossed her leg, “I think I agree with you, but if you don’t mind me asking, why don’t you care about me knowing your real name? It's not like we’re exactly friends.”

“Oh shit, we not?” Chris said feigning shock, “ Damn mama that’s fucked up.”

Toni rolled her eyes, “Oh please.”

Chris grinned at her and licked his lips, throwing the finished blunt on the floor and ashing it under his black and white Converse. “You’re different and if you gonna be my girl, I think it’s best if you know who I really am right?”

“Your girl? You haven’t even taken me out on a date, so how in the hell am I going to be your girl?”

“Right, Right,” Chris said. His phone began to ring and he took it out of his dark blue jeans and muted it, his eyes never straying from Toni. “So let me take you out this Friday.”

Toni snorted thinking he was joking but stopped short when she realized that he didn’t even crack a smile, “Wait you’re serious?”

“Dead ass”

Chris’s phone rang again and this time he did look at it, with an evident scowl. Abruptly he said, “I gotta go Antonia, but I’ll text you the details,” Chris kissed Toni’s cheek and turned to leave, in the process he took his keys out of his pocket.

Toni’s eyes were wide as hell at what just happened. She blinked a couple of times to get out of the fog that took over her mind and noticed that he was almost to his Range Rover.

As he walked further away Toni yelled out, “Wait I don’t even have your number!”

He took a look over his shoulder, “It’s straight, I got yours!”

She went to nod then paused, “Wait, what?!”

Toni heard Chris laugh as he got into his car, turning it on. He sped out of the parking lot, leaving her to watch his taillights disappear into the LA traffic. Sean came over to where she was sitting and heavily sighed fatigue, and annoyance relevant in his form. “Got damn, did you see how fucked up they were? Imma have to tell Avery I need help ‘cause I can’t take ID’s and pat them down while babysitting grown-ass adults. Fuck that shit.”

Toni didn’t say anything, her thoughts still on what transpired seconds before. Sean took notice of the silence and softly elbowed his friend, used to her having a sarcastic quip. “You good? What did I miss?”

I’m going on date,” Toni said, feeling a glimmer of happiness.

Tag list: @aria725​ @kikilovesdankmemes​ @briannab1234​

[sally-mun]

As someone who hasn't, wouldn't, and won't be experiencing Major/Minor (or whatever it was called) could you perhaps analyze more specifically some of the things you felt were missteps more in depth, so others who decide they might want to make a visual novel or even just a story, might be able to avoid the same issues? I realize this might not be your area of interest, but I'm always interested in these kinds of analyses.

Man, where do I even begin.

I suppose I should start by saying that this game could have been fine; I don’t necessarily hate this game for the story, even if I think it’s uninspired. I play lots of point-and-click games and usually enjoy them (even the stupid ones) so long as they have merit in one area or another. But that’s the core of the problems with Major/Minor: It has NO merit to work with. Its construction shows absolutely no understanding of this genre of game design. Or of writing. Or of entertainment in general. Or of simply respecting one’s audience.

First and foremost, let’s discuss visual novels.

The critical difference between a novel and a visual novel is interactivity; a novel is a set and done deal that takes its readers along for the ride, whereas a visual novel invites the readers to be part of the ride itself. The direction of the story is influenced by the player, and this allows them to personally take ownership of later events. It’s the sort of game that tries to put you in the role of the protagonist in the most direct form possible. Like other first-person games your view as a player is exactly that of the character you’re playing, but in a VN’s case it’s like reading a comic book in a choose-your-own-adventure format.

Major/Minor not only fails on both the visual and novel elements, but it also fails when combined as a visual novel.

1) Visual

For the most part, visual novels don’t have a lot of action. They primarily consist of conversations with NPCs and usually take place in static locations. For this reason, both the characters and the environments need to have a lot of personality. Players need to feel like they’re actually having conversations with the characters and that they’ve entered a unique location that sees real use. This is the red, meaty center of how VNs engage and gratify their players.

Designing characters in a visual novel is about more than giving each one a different face; it’s about giving each character enough of a range of actions and emotions to sell the idea that the character is actually interacting with you, and in a way that’s truly unique from every other character. In real life, people do all sorts of crap when speaking: Our expressions change, we gesture with our hands, our posture varies, and sometimes we even have small ticks associated with certain topics or emotions. Between these visual cues and the actual discussions themselves, players ought to know the NPCs well enough to be able to describe them like real-life friends by the end of the game.

This brings us to Major/Minor’s first serious offense: Every character has one face. Typically in a VN, each character has a minimum of half a dozen expressions, poses, and gestures/ticks to match the different emotions they’ll need to exhibit over the course of their conversation topics. The characters in Major/Minor can only make a single expression and pose throughout the entire game, which immediately leads to some seriously disjointed discussions. It’s hard for me to take a character seriously when they say they’re angry with me when the art staring through the computer screen is bright, cheerful, and apparently mid-laugh. Sorry, NPC #672, I really don’t care that you’re allegedly on the brink of tears, because your singular piece of character art is so smarmy and mischievous that I forgot you were trying to tell me something tragic.

What makes this even more annoying is that most of the characters DO have a secondary piece of art, but it’s only ever used ONE time as an introduction to a new character before the game chucks it in the bin and we never see it again. Each character COULD have had at least two expressions if the dev had planned his commissions carefully enough, buuut instead he chose to get two shots that are barely distinguishable from one another so there could be a ~=*FLOURISH*=~ when we see someone for the first time. Granted, two per character still isn’t anywhere near enough, but it’s a hell of a lot better than just one! It makes me wonder why he bothered to spend the money on a second image for each character at all, since half of these commissions only get about 10 seconds of screen time. What a waste.

And hey, speaking of wasted opportunities, let’s talk more about the environments! Lots of visual novels don’t spend much energy on their backgrounds, and although that’s usually fine (albeit not my first preference), Major/Minor seriously needed to think more about its settings. For the moment I’ll ignore the laziness of the fact that the backgrounds are generic photos with a blur filter over them; what’s more important is that this game loves to tell us all kinds of random crap about the rooms we’re in, especially during the scenes that take place in Japan. This game would’ve benefited dearly from simply having more detailed backgrounds and just letting us observe the goings on of the room on our own. Y’know, because that makes it more... visual.

Honestly, if it were me, I would’ve taken it all a step further and gone full-blown Ace Attorney on the environments. In AA games, investigating the scene is very important because you have to look for clues. I’m not saying Major/Minor needed to let you hunt for items, but I do think that it could’ve cut a ton of random information from the text by simply letting us inspect the backgrounds. That way the players that want to know what a kotatsu is can find out on their own time and players that already know or don’t care can move on.

Something else that would’ve brought the game a much-needed boost of interest is cut scenes. As noted earlier, visual novels don’t tend to have a lot of action, so when something physical DOES happen, it makes an impact. One way to maximize that flash of excitement is with a cut scene – or at least, the visual novel equivalent of one. A “cut scene” in a VN isn’t typically a full motion video like most video games boast; it still makes use of a static image, but it’s an image whose quality far surpasses that of the rest of the art in the game. Maybe it’s abnormally large and the camera slowly pans across for dramatic effect, or maybe it’s a scene drawn from an interesting angle that isn’t the player’s POV. Some games take this even farther and really do animate their cut scenes a bit (usually on par with a nice animated gif). Lots of VN cut scenes make use of sound effects or action-specific music cues to keep the player emotionally involved with the scene, as it’s a moment that’s out of the player’s control.

Major/Minor, on the other hand, does none of this. Much like the drought of facial expressions, the game simply pelts you with paragraph after paragraph to tell you about the events taking place around you, rather than simply letting you see for yourself and be, y’know, involved. Even a handful of cut scenes that had some real effort put into them would’ve really given this game some pep. Not only would it have kept me engaged as a player, but it would’ve weeded out even more unnecessary narration.

Oh, and speaking of weeding shit out of the text…

2) Novel

The writing in this game badly, badly needed to be edited. Like, so badly it makes me physically hurt from how poorly this text is constructed. I’m not talking about the simple things like misspellings and failed capitalizations, I mean BIG mistakes, like sentence fragments and improper conjugations and completely misusing some words all together. It’s also excruciatingly repetitive. Never in my life have I ever seen prose that recaps itself so frequently – sometimes literally within minutes of the event that it’s reminding you of. It even recaps itself within the same block of text a few times.

It’s pretty obvious the dev never allowed a seasoned editor to proof the text, but it’s so unbelievably bad that I’m not even sure the dev himself ever gave it a second glance. It reeks of being a first draft that was never once revisited; actually, it strongly reminds me of the sort of stories I myself wrote when I was about 13. At that time I wanted so badly to write big, dramatic stories! Stories that had deep themes and lots of intrigue! With a complicated plot and several subplots!! And lots of characters that would all totally be different and completely matter!!!! But the problem was I was so wrapped up in wanting to make my stories big, impressive epics that I stretched myself way too thin and everything came out incredibly shallow. It’s honestly kind of eerie to think back on the things I wrote as a kid while I play this game. The similarities are so striking that I can’t tell if this is something the dev wrote at that age and just never decided to polish, or if he did write it as an adult but has the writing skill-level of a teenager.

But honestly, I’d overlook all the technical flaws and melodrama this guy could throw at me if he would just show and not tell. “Show, don’t tell” is one of the oldest rules in the book when it comes to storytelling, and for good reason: Telling instead of showing is not only fucking boring, but it treats the reader like an idiot. If a writer knows what they’re doing, they shouldn’t have to tell, because they’d just demonstrate those things instead.

For example, let’s examine another huge flaw with the writing: Incredibly shallow characterizations. Early in the game the player meets a character named Rook. Rook is very rude. I know this because the game tells me. All. The. Time. I legit don’t remember how many times the game has mentioned that Rook is rude at this point. The dev seems completely oblivious to the notion that you don’t have to tell the player these things. You can just… write Rook as being rude. Trust me, my dude, I can figure out if a character is an asshole or not. Not only can Rook’s rudeness be demonstrated by how he treats me as a player, but it can be further reinforced by other characters reacting to him in a put-off manner. If you’re so concerned that I won’t pick up on the fact that Rook is a rude person just based on how he behaves, then you’re doing it wrong, end of discussion.

But then, as I said, the characterizations are shallow in general. Everyone tends to have their one basic trope and the story rests on the idea that you know what the character is. None of the scenes go out of their way to really dig into who someone is – which is kind of amazing, honestly, since the prose is so obsessed with making sure you know the most inane and unrelated shit half the time – and even after I’ve known a character for several chapters they still feel like a cardboard cut-out to me.

To be honest, I’m kind of impressed by the sheer volume of ways that Major/Minor fails at showing instead of telling. It tells you what characters are like instead of just letting you interact with them, it tells you about the places you visit instead of just letting you view them, it tells you every single time the characters have a mood shift or expression change because it couldn’t be bothered to give them each more than one face, and it hamfists unnecessary information into the script where it’s unneeded and interrupts the scene – and THEN, it makes SURE you notice that it’s telling instead of showing by repeating those things over and over and over again!

All of this is further exacerbated, by the way, because the dev has no idea how to tell a story in the first place. Even with all the above flaws, I miiight have still been able to enjoy this game if it was just a compelling narrative in any sense of the word at all. I will happily deal with poor construction and telling-not-showing if the story still has some intrigue. Even a flawed story can have a mind-blowing plot and keep you reading just to find out what happens next, right? I thought so too, until I realized that Major/Minor goes SO far out of its way to spoil its own plot that it frequently makes you sit through scenes that you, the protagonist, are not even present for. Yes, in a game that’s built upon being a first-person experience, the story will slam on the brakes and take you OUT of the protagonist’s shoes to make you sit by as an observer to events that probably would’ve been an great reveal later on had the dev just kept his mouth shut.

3) Visual Novel

So the visuals suck and the writing sucks, but hey, lots of games get by without investing much in those areas. Could Major/Minor pull it together and at least give the player an interesting mechanic? Hahahaha no, of course it didn’t. As far as the gameplay is concerned, Major/Minor is so bad that in many ways I hesitate to even call it a game.

The cornerstone of visual novels is making choices. They can range from serious decisions that determine the overall outcome of the game or small cosmetic details, but either way, the core of this gaming style is putting the player in the driver’s seat as often as possible. When playing Major/Minor, however, the player is strapped into a straight jacket, blindfolded, and tossed into the trunk of the damn car. This game is so reluctant to surrender control of the narrative that it’s not uncommon at all to go through entire sections of the game having made no choices whatsoever. It fails so spectacularly as a visual novel that I’d be willing to bet that the dev had never played one before. He is astonishingly disinterested in what makes a visual novel enjoyable to the player.

There’s a principle in game design called Illusion of Control. The goal of this idea is to allow the player to feel like they’re in charge of the game while actually keeping them within strict boundaries. It applies to a lot of games, but it’s especially important in visual novels. Players need to be able to dictate how the story progresses, even if some of those choices make no real impact on outcomes. For example, players can enter conversation trees with NPCs that seemingly offer a lot of control – perhaps the player chooses the discussion topics, or can decide if they want to be shy or snarky in their replies – and yet at the end of the scene there could realistically be no change to the story’s progress. The greater point is that the player feels like they handled the conversation the way they wanted to. This allows them to still feel like they’ve gotten somewhere and that they accomplished something.

Major/Minor appears to scoff at the very idea of this, like the game’s worried you’ll cramp its style if it gives you too much power.The player is allotted no input whatsoever on how the PC treats the other characters, what subjects to discuss, where they’d like to go, how to react to the actions of other characters… It’s truly mind-blowing just how consistently the game misses opportunities to allow the player even the illusion of control. For example, there’s a scene where the player character (PC) is awakened in the middle of the night by a pounding on the door, and no options are offered on how the player would like to handle this. A better game might allow the player to choose if they want to pretend to keep sleeping, or call out to whomever is knocking, or try escaping out a window, or crack the door open to see what the person wants. Even if it’s an absolute necessity to the plot that this person enters the room, it’s still better to let the player choose, because there are a plethora of ways to redirect each of those options back around toward the character getting in.

Unfortunately, Major/Minor is just too damn lazy to be bothered with gameplay, and the PC just lets the stranger in with no input from the player. Soon after, the stranger attacks the PC, which would again be a prime opportunity for lots of reactionary options: The player could duck! Or the player could punch their assailant! Or maybe they could kick instead! Maybe they’d try to run away or call for help! Buuut no, Major/Minor really doesn’t care what you want YOUR CHARACTER to do, and it’s already decided that you’re going to put up no fight at all and immediately pass out. It’s by far one of the most unsatisfying things I’ve ever experienced in a video game.

The disconnect between the player and the protagonist is so extreme that I honestly don’t feel it’s a fair assessment to refer to the protagonist as the “player character.” It’s not uncommon for visual novel protagonists to speak in the first person, but in most games it feels like the PC is speaking on your behalf because they’re acting according to your will. The protagonist of Major/Minor decides so many things for themself that it stopped feeling like “my” character a very, very long time ago. This character isn’t me and never was; it’s the main character of a book that I didn’t ask to read, who very occasionally pauses to ask my opinion on something.

HEY HOWDY HEY SPEAKING OF PAUSING… If you boot this “game” up for a session, you’d better hope you have plenty of time on your hands to get through it, because you’re at the dev’s mercy for when you can save your progress. Being able to save anytime you want is a staple of visual novels because 1) people read at wildly different paces, and 2) for many people, excessive reading makes them tired. Not only that, but sometimes life just plain gets in the way and you have to pick up and go on short notice. Major/Minor ignores all of these factors and leaves the player relegated to appointed checkpoints throughout the game.

Now, I’m not necessarily saying that checkpoints are inherently bad, but they do need to be used very, very wisely. Any game (VN or otherwise) that doesn’t allow the player to save anytime they want needs to be sure checkpoints are reasonably close from any given location, and furthermore that they’re spaced at regular intervals. As I’m sure you’ve guessed by now, however, the dev flushed that idea down the toilet along with what was left of his common sense and parents’ love. Sometimes Major/Minor stacks save points practically back-to-back within the span of a few minutes, and in other cases I’ve literally played for over and hour before the game finally rewarded me with the option to save.

There’s no discernible pattern or technique that I can detect for when save points are bestowed on the player; you’re not even guaranteed an opportunity to save when the game switches chapters! I would say that I can’t fathom why the dev thought this would be a good idea, but let’s not kid ourselves here, it’s clear that the dev never thought this through in the first place. If he had, he might’ve noticed that players being uncertain about whether or not they’ll be able to save their progress discourages them from playing at all.

Also, before I fully move on from the game design, I just wanted to make a brief side note about the music. To be honest, I turned the music off a VERY long time ago, so I don’t even remember what it sounds like; however, I’ve read that all of the music in the game is from the free assets you get in RPG Maker. I’ve further read that the free assets (both audio and visual) were the entire reason the dev decided to use RPG Maker for this game in the first place, in spite of the fact that there are other programs out there specifically geared toward making visual novels. This is worth mentioning because it further highlights just how lazy this entire game is. It’s not a sin to use free program assets – that IS what they’re there for, after all – but when you ONLY use the free assets and then advertise your game on Steam for being sooo creative and original, AND have the gall to charge $20 for it?? Yeah, that’s a gigantic slap in the face.

Speaking of Steam, you’d think a game like this would’ve been weeded out by the gaming community for being the garbage that it is, right? After all, there’s a ranking right at the top of the page showing the proportion of good and bad reviews it’s gotten, and right now it says the feedback is “very positive.” I will say that I do take community feedback into consideration when I’m thinking about a game that I haven’t otherwise heard of before, and my misstep with this game has definitely taught me a valuable lesson. When I saw that the game is ranked “very positive” and I scrolled down to see several glowing reviews, I felt that was sufficient enough research to know if the game was worth my time and money.

However, upon trying out the game and realizing just how badly I’d been deceived, I did a little more digging. As it turns out, the dev is known for flagging negative reviews as “abusive” and getting them deleted, allowing him to effectively filter out the bad press so long as he can make some kind of a case to Steam. This debacle has taught me that it’s not enough to scroll to the bottom of a Steam page for user reviews, as those tend to be the most recent; what you do instead is click the “Read all [x] reviews” link, as those reviews are sorted by popularity. THIS is where you’ll find the reviews that the community has deemed the most helpful and informative, and in this case, it’s like night and day. ALL of the highest-ranked reviews of Major/Minor are negative, and the numbers are staggering. Literally HUNDREDS of people have ranked these terrible reviews as helpful, and most of them are in the 80-90% range on agreement. You have to load more reviews four times to find even one single positive post, and once you do start getting into the positives, the upvotes are significantly fewer.

SO, in conclusion...

I want to say that’s about all I have to give on this subject, but the sad truth is it’s not. I could probably critique this game line-by-line, moment-by-moment, if I really wanted to. Fortunately for my sanity, I really don’t want to. … Not right now, anyway. I’m sure I’ll lose it at some point and decide to go through and count all the missed opportunities in the game or something, but I won’t be doing that right now, thankfully.

So in the vein of others learning from the mistakes of this game: If you were thinking about buying Major/Minor, don’t. If you bought it a while ago during a sale and were thinking about starting to play it, don’t. If you’re interested in making a visual novel and wanted to learn from this game’s mistakes… Well granted there’s a lot to learn about what not to do, but still, don’t give this lazy, deceptive dev any more money. Learn from this guy’s shortcomings based on the feedback of players. Hell, read or watch a Let’s Play if you really want to experience it first-hand. Just please don’t buy and play this game. As a favor to ME, please don’t buy and play this game.

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