#suibian is right there being a whole elephant in the room

[grewlikefancyflowers]

I think something that a lot of people in this fandom seem to misunderstand about WWX's conflicts with LWJ in his first life (regarding his use of guidao) is that it could not have been resolved if LWJ had just ~talked about his feelings~ - ie, made it clear to WWX that his concern was primarily for his wellbeing, because LWJ cared for him.

Setting aside for now the fact the LWJ had very good reasons not to speak more openly about his feelings (towards WWX), and in Ch.62 never indicated to WWX that he wanted to punish him, and stated very clearly that he did not want to denounce him.

WWX's response would not have changed. He would still find LWJ's belief that he could lose control just as offensive, he would still be set in his view that guidao is the only option available to him, and still have no interest in explaining to LWJ why that is, nor be interested in exploring some other option. Primarily because WWX knows there isn't one, but also because (and I think this is something this fandom struggles with) WWX is proud of his cultivation. True, it is not the path he would have chosen, but it is the path he's on and he is not, and refuses to be, ashamed of that.

There's also the issue that due to WWX's (lack of) understanding of his own sexuality at this point in his life, LWJ revealing his romantic feelings for WWX would definitely not have helped. Taking into account some feedback loop of comphet & JC's homophobia, it might even worsen their relationship. Regardless, WWX definitely isn't going to suddenly realise & understand his own feelings just because LWJ revealed his. Even if he did, WWX's position would not change.

Hopping back to my previous point about LWJ having good reasons not to speak more plainly, I do think LWJ understands that too. He of course does not have a complete insight into the situation, but he does understand that 1. WWX is not interested in men (as he told him in Xuanwu Cave), 2. WWX stated very clearly that he is willing and able to pay whatever consequences guidao has for him, 3. WWX responds to LWJ's pushing by communicating to him that he considers him an outsider, that WWX's personal matters are not his business.

Of course, LWJ making it clear that he cares for WWX does not necessitate revealing that his feelings are romantic, but 'I wanna be fwends now' is a pretty weak position for him to take, and isn't gonna convince WWX any more than anything else is.

And it's not as if post-BM WWX is suddenly disinterested in LWJ—he still pursues his attentions just as desperately as before. This isn't a WWX who's had enough of LWJ saying they're not familiar & has finally given up on the idea of friendship with him—we can see from WWX's later actions (throughout Phoenix Mt hunt, in Yunmeng, in Yiling) that this is not true. The crux of the matter is, regardless of any level of familiarity between them, WWX is entirely assured in what he's doing and is not interested in— either out of genuine desire or just to indulge LWJ—exploring any alternative to using guidao. Even in his second life once him & LWJ are close, WWX is not interested in confiding in him about his golden core or his reasons for turning to guidao. There were many opportunities once he got Suibian back, WWX continues to keep these things to himself.

Sure, LWJ could have handled that situation more tactfully, but doing so would not have actually changed anything, WWX and LWJ were at odds over this not because of some miscommunication, but because they held fundamentally different positions at this time, that could not be reconciled.