#superliminal came very close but still

[miami2k17]

replaying portal 2 for the billionth time but its been so fucking long, and im so glad that i still have to stop and think about some of the puzzles. i thought for sure atp ive played it so many times it doesnt matter how long its been ill just breeze through it but nah it still gets me occasionally

[nitrosodiumepicfps]

First Person Games Investigation

Simply put, a first-person game is a game where you see through the eyes of your player character. Let's look at some.

Call of Duty/Battlefield - I'm putting these together because, in my eyes, they're basically the same game. A prototypical modern military shooter franchise with limited innovative mechanics, usually moving towards a multiplayer service model as it's easier to squeeze money out of users that way. I'm not sure exactly what I could say that I'd take from these games, since any mechanics you can really call "innovative" were just holdovers from Halo - two-weapon limits, grenade buttons, aim-down-sights, et cetera.

F.E.A.R. - Now this is a shooter. I don't know how many people actually still play this 2005 gem, but I do know that people used it to benchmark their systems before Crysis came out. It's a tactical action horror, where you dive around in bullet-time, gunning down screaming clone soldiers with anything from dual pistols to an experimental particle gun. The effects are amazing, and the Replica AI holds up to this day. They talk amongst each other, giving audio callouts to relay your position. They can take cover and sneak around, meaning that using your bullet time your best chance for survival. The first person viewpoint shows your fully-rendered body in all its glory, and the devs at Monolith put this to good use, having you drop-kick Replicas at point blank range. It's a lot of fun to play, like an interactive version of Woo's Hard Boiled.

FNAF - Modern horror wouldn't be where it is today without FNAF, but similarly, FNAF wouldn't work without a first-person perspective. A lot of horror - especially jumpscare-based like FNAF - requires you to see the scares as they stumble towards you. The subgenre that FNAF spawned, mascot horror, relies on twisting narratives and recognisable characters to stand out, and borrowing ideas from the archaic pre-FNAF days of Unity walking simulators, they're all first person - often having no real protagonist, as mascot horror is propped up by its recognisable characters, and having a voiced protagonist would likely take away from the antagonist's appeal.

The Stanley Parable - I definitetely want to talk about a good old fashioned narrative-based walking simulator. I usually don't like to play them, the 4th-wall-breaking trick has been done to death, and most walking simulators fall into the niche of "Annoying a British narrator until he forcibly closes the game", and then it's revealed the game is all about the struggles of a developer, and it's actually very intellectual on a super-post-meta-ironic-level, or whatever. But, the Stanley Parable is a classic. Considering it asks questions about choice and freedom in video games, a silent first-person protagonist was a good choice. I don't think we even see Stanley's face - in fact, in the original Source version, Stanley was played by Half Life 2's very own male_07 - which lets us insert ourselves into Stanley's position. First person is always an amazing choice for immersion and player/world interactivity, and considering that's often what I look for in games, it's no wonder I like this viewpoint so much.

Superliminal - Now here's a game that uses its first-person perspective to its advantage. You can take objects and move them closer or further away from you to change their size, just like the Portal 2 concept of "F-stop". This is used in puzzles where you must bridge gaps, if I recall correctly, and there is a lot of trickery within the game space itself, with some Truman Show-esque fake scenery towards the end.

[nitrosodiumofficialuses]

First Person Games Investigation

Simply put, a first-person game is a game where you see through the eyes of your player character. Let's look at some.

Call of Duty/Battlefield - I'm putting these together because, in my eyes, they're basically the same game. A prototypical modern military shooter franchise with limited innovative mechanics, usually moving towards a multiplayer service model as it's easier to squeeze money out of users that way. I'm not sure exactly what I could say that I'd take from these games, since any mechanics you can really call "innovative" were just holdovers from Halo - two-weapon limits, grenade buttons, aim-down-sights, et cetera.

F.E.A.R. - Now this is a shooter. I don't know how many people actually still play this 2005 gem, but I do know that people used it to benchmark their systems before Crysis came out. It's a tactical action horror, where you dive around in bullet-time, gunning down screaming clone soldiers with anything from dual pistols to an experimental particle gun. The effects are amazing, and the Replica AI holds up to this day. They talk amongst each other, giving audio callouts to relay your position. They can take cover and sneak around, meaning that using your bullet time your best chance for survival. The first person viewpoint shows your fully-rendered body in all its glory, and the devs at Monolith put this to good use, having you drop-kick Replicas at point blank range. It's a lot of fun to play, like an interactive version of Woo's Hard Boiled.

FNAF - Modern horror wouldn't be where it is today without FNAF, but similarly, FNAF wouldn't work without a first-person perspective. A lot of horror - especially jumpscare-based like FNAF - requires you to see the scares as they stumble towards you. The subgenre that FNAF spawned, mascot horror, relies on twisting narratives and recognisable characters to stand out, and borrowing ideas from the archaic pre-FNAF days of Unity walking simulators, they're all first person - often having no real protagonist, as mascot horror is propped up by its recognisable characters, and having a voiced protagonist would likely take away from the antagonist's appeal.

The Stanley Parable - I definitetely want to talk about a good old fashioned narrative-based walking simulator. I usually don't like to play them, the 4th-wall-breaking trick has been done to death, and most walking simulators fall into the niche of "Annoying a British narrator until he forcibly closes the game", and then it's revealed the game is all about the struggles of a developer, and it's actually very intellectual on a super-post-meta-ironic-level, or whatever. But, the Stanley Parable is a classic. Considering it asks questions about choice and freedom in video games, a silent first-person protagonist was a good choice. I don't think we even see Stanley's face - in fact, in the original Source version, Stanley was played by Half Life 2's very own male_07 - which lets us insert ourselves into Stanley's position. First person is always an amazing choice for immersion and player/world interactivity, and considering that's often what I look for in games, it's no wonder I like this viewpoint so much.

Superliminal - Now here's a game that uses its first-person perspective to its advantage. You can take objects and move them closer or further away from you to change their size, just like the Portal 2 concept of "F-stop". This is used in puzzles where you must bridge gaps, if I recall correctly, and there is a lot of trickery within the game space itself, with some Truman Show-esque fake scenery towards the end.

[syrupspinner]

I beat genital jousting

I'll let you know if I ever build up the courage to ask a group of people to help me with the multiplayer achievements

so. penises am I right. I think I speak for everyone when I say it's just an inherently stupid part of the body. I think if you showed an adult a penis for the first time they'd react with fleeting amusement, just seeing it flop around and change shape

fun fact, I'm usually the designated penis explainer to virgins. before I came out I was always the only boy in a female friend group (now I'm just the only penis'd one) so I always ended up roped into situations where I had to explain my genitals to giggling drunk girls, at their excited insistence. their first question was always how our balls don't get crushed when we walk with our legs together, where I explained that the penis is mostly in front of the body instead of right between the legs like a vagina is, so they usually just rest above the thighs

oh my god I haven't talked about video games in almost 3 minutes! Genital Jousting is just okay

I want you to close your eyes and imagine a penis. it's wearing a silly outfit, like a suit or a jumpsuit with long flailing arms. it's writhing on the ground like a water hose you let go of, only instead of water its farts. it also has an anus for penis sex.

did you laugh? buy the game. you'll get a giggly afternoon

theres something that can easily be considered a problem with comedy games like this. y'know the kind, like Jazzpunk and Dr. Langekov. they're short, so they're not very substantial, but you can't really correct for that because then the games humour will just start to grate and stop being funny. seriously, imagine if Octodad or Soda Drinker Pro had 30hr+ campaign modes, and think about the stone-dead neutrality that would be on your face in the endgame.

but unlike other short games, with maybe the exception of puzzle games like Superliminal and Manifold Garden, it doesn't have a lot of replayability. sure, it can still be entertaining, but a joke will never be as funny as the first time you heard it

but it doesn't need to be long or replayable, because it's funny. and yeah, the campaign was funny enough

but it's kinda unfair to say this game isn't replayable, because there's the multiplayer mode. I struggle to imagine a situation other than a queer polycule where playing penis soccer doesn't secretly make everyone kinda uncomfortable, but a niche audience is still an audience. in highschool, I was friends with the kinda people who had that picture book with the hole in the middle, where you stick your penis through and it's an elephant trunk or something equally silly. the only problem is that jokes aren't usually sexy, at least if they need a whole setup like that, so you're usually flaccid by page four. I guess you could watch porn, but that seems a little impersonal given the-

right. video game. 

in my experience, the multiplayer mode is decent fun if you're at that kinda party, and it's up to you to make the judgement call of if the present company can handle it. "let's play the penis game" is a dangerous sentence to your coworkers. I think the amount of time they expect you to put in is a little extreme though, I don't think many people filled the Penis Milk Tank all the way naturally. yeah, that's uh, how you unlock things in this game. it's like a battle pass, but more verile. 

so basically, it's a quick silly romp through pen island. personally, I though $9 Canadian was worth the chuckles - it wasn't laugh-out-loud funny, but dick jokes aren't my thing anyway. Besides, I've paid more than that for a burger. I shouldntve, but it's a comfort food and we were at a new restaurant, I was justified.

[heartsofbeskar]

from the ashes

chapter six | read on AO3

din djarin x oc

WARNINGS: violence, swearing

WORDS: 3.2K

EXCERPT: He extended his other arm to her. Stepping as close as she could, she wrapped an arm tightly around his shoulders. The arm he had held out to her now circled her waist, pulling her even closer. She could feel every curve and edge of his armour through her clothes. His helmet turned towards her.

MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST

PREV | NEXT

Ten couldn’t think of a better sound than the Ursa’s engines finally running again. Decidedly less strained than before, she thought. Though that may have just been wishful thinking.

They’d been sequestered on the asteroid for the better part of two standard weeks. The time they’d lost was valuable, but nothing compared to the time they’d lose if the Ursa bailed on them mid-flight.

On the surface, spending time with the Mandalorian was not too much different than spending time alone. He barely spoke unless he was spoken to, and moved around like a ghost, despite the heavy armour. But there was something … imposing about the man. Not threatening, but Ten could feel his presence in a room, sometimes even feel his eyes on her. It wholly unsettled her— not that she’d let him know that.

Much — well actually all — of their conversation in the recent days had centered around where the hell to go next. It was obvious an Imperial conspirator had inside knowledge of the job and that Ten and Mando were the ones working it. They had a list of contacts from Greef Karga who may have information; to seek out those contacts now would surely be suicide, for everyone involved.

“You feel sure about Ronhar Kraz?” Ten asked. The armoured man sat to her right nodded slowly. Kraz was a businessman who specialized in textiles and linen trade between the core and the Outer Rim. Seemingly benign, but he used those same textiles and linen to smuggle weapons during the days of the Empire. For both sides.

“It feels too obvious,” she mused. “Former weapons smuggler turned Imperial double agent. Why even attach your name onto this if so many people in the Outer Rim know you worked with the Empire?”

“You’re assuming a level of intelligence and foresight I don’t often attribute to Imps,” he said.

“That’s the mindset that gets you fucked over eventually,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“Is that what happened to you?”

Ten turned her head sharply, glaring at him. “You should watch that metal mouth or I’ll find something that will bend beskar.”

She heard a short breathy noise she’d come to known as a laugh processed through his modulator.

They’d almost passed through the outer boundary of the asteroid field, so she focused on steering through the last of the rocks. An itch had settled under her skin in the past few days, an urge to go, go, go, escape the confines of this belt they’d found themselves unexpectedly marooned within. As much as she still dreaded getting tangled up in Empire business, she felt that coursing of adrenaline in her veins that had been escaping her for many months now. That thrill of her life being put on the line of her own volition.

That adrenaline spiked again as they were fired on.

—

“Shit!” Ten cursed, the ship veering sharply upon impact. Din reacted on instinct, seat spinning towards the weapons controls he’d made a point of committing to memory. “They must have followed our ion trail to the edge of the belt. Have the fuckers just been waiting here the whole time?”

Another hit struck them, almost sending Din flying into the viewport. As he lurched, his gaze locked on the ships in front of them, before Ten steered them quickly away in an evasive maneuver. The ships pursued. He wasn’t surprised he recognized the ships, but he was surprised that—

“Those are New Republic ships. That’ll be why we weren’t vapourized on sight.” He paused as he attempted to target lock the ships still following close behind. There were too many asteroids lingering in the belt’s gravitational pull for them to jump to hyperspace. He needed to buy time. “Are you wanted?”

Ten didn’t look at him as she pushed their speed, but he could somehow feel her rolling her eyes at him. “No, I’m not an idiot. Even if I was, the Ursa’s totally off register, there’s no way—”

“Torpedo approaching lower left engine exhaust,” he interrupted. Cursing again, she took them as far right as possible — and right towards a large asteroid. Din braced, but she slowed their speed enough to whip them quickly around its circumference. He had to admit she was an impressive pilot.

“Are you wanted?”

“...Yes.”

“Now why am I not surprised by—”

She was cut off by the incoming communication alarm. They exchanged glances before Ten reached forward and set off the acceptance switch.

“Unidentified vessel,” came the drone of a New Republic officer. “Cut your engines immediately and prepare for boarding.”

“And why the hell should we do that?” Ten snapped, taking them through a narrow gap between asteroids. Din rolled his eyes now beneath the helmet.

“You are wanted for the murder of Jula Lars. Cut your engines immediately and prepare to be taken into custody. Failure to comply can result in—”

Ten slammed her hand down on the controls and cut off the channel. Din noticed her other hand tightening on the steering gears, knuckles going white. The scars he knew to be there were barely visible.

“Those fuckers … do you have a target lock on the ships? I’m going to blast them from the fucking sky,” she snapped.

As lightly as he dared, Din placed a hand on her arm that was closest to him. “They’re only doing their job. Obviously the Imps put them on our tail. No one else knew we were there.”

“Oh and you’re now the sudden pacifist?” she turned her head to glare at him. It felt like ice began flowing through his veins.

“We don’t need to help create more victims to the Empire,” he said lowly. Something flashed in her eyes. She kept eye contact with him for as long as she dared before turning forward to continue steering.

“Fine,” was all she said. A pause. More shots volleying around them, missing the ship as it weaved. “Then we need to go to hyperspace. Now.”

“There’s still too many asteroids we could—”

“Then I guess you’re just going to have to trust me, Mandalorian,” she said, and she was already engaging, then ramping their speed and then— rocks flew past them as superliminal speeds as they were catapulted into hyperspace. Din held his breath the entire time, certain they were headed straight for a rock which, at these speeds, would vapourize them for sure.

He let it go when he realized they were clear. Looking beside him, he saw Ten staring at him, her scarred eyebrow raised. “I told you to trust me.”

He scoffed, still feeling on edge. “Set the course for Leotis IV.”

“Aye aye, captain.”

—

Ten landed the Ursa as discreetly as she could, a few kilometres out from the Kraz estate. Thankfully it didn’t seem the New Republic had any insight on where they were going, only where they had been. But there was no guessing how long that would last.

Mando was in the hold, already securing his blaster into his belt. She recognized a couple other models and … something that didn’t look like a blaster at all. Before she could get a longer look his cloak fell over it.

“Kraz’s estate only has minimum security in place. Security cameras, only two from the back, no motion sensors,” she said, opening up the weapons compartment.

“How do you know all this?” Mando asked, entering her field of view. She looked up from where she was sheathing throwing knives. She shrugged at him.

“You hunt people, I hunt information. It’s my business to know my way around prominent figure’s properties.” Reaching up, Ten finally grabbed her blaster from the top shelf it sat on. She knew she could very likely do this without it, but it would probably appease Mando.

“If he is working with the Empire, he may have increased his security since your latest information,” he noted. She nodded as she hung her own cloak around her shoulders.

“At least then it would make for a challenge,” she said, nodding her head towards the door.

They closed the distance from the Ursa on foot so as not to be seen by anyone on the grounds. The tree cover was just enough to hide it from view overhead. Mando seemed to want to take the walk in their usual state of silence, and Ten didn’t complain.

As they walked, Ten admired the foliage that seemed to grow at mostly knee height on this planet. It bloomed undisturbed in the gaps left by the trees, enjoying the unrestricted sunlight. The rays seemed to bounce off the petals which appeared in every colour.

It made her think of Yaim. The trees there had been much denser, and wider. But the air seemed to vibrate in the same way, the wind so delicate Ten could almost close her eyes and imagine it was tender fingers on her cheek.

She reached out, as she would always do when she was a girl, and felt that unwavering presence, its weight bearing down on her bones and her soul alike. But … less heavy than usual, which surprised her.

Finally, they reached the wall which indicated the edge of the property, It wasn’t high, maybe four or five metres by Ten’s estimation. The surface was uneven, and she grabbed a hold of the texture, testing it.

“This should work. If we can scale to the—” She was cut off by a sharp whizzing noise beside her. As she examined the grappling hook connected to his vambrace, she was absolutely sure he was smirking beneath the helmet. “Or we could do it that way.”

He extended his other arm to her. Stepping as close as she could, she wrapped an arm tightly around his shoulders. The arm he had held out to her now circled her waist, pulling her even closer. She could feel every curve and edge of his armour through her clothes. His helmet turned towards her.

“Hold on tight,” was all he said, and then they were rapidly ascending up, up, past the rough stones in the wall, until Mando swung them onto the top, which was thankfully flat. “You can let go now.”

“Right,” she breathed. Shaking her head, she turned towards the building now filling their view. As she’d planned, the route to the wall had taken them close to the back corner of the property. If her information was current, Kraz only had cameras facing his back and front entrances. “You’ve got a scope on that pulse rifle, right? Can you see the cameras on the back wall?”

Swinging the rifle around to rest on his shoulder, he wordlessly aimed at the building. Ten studied his stance from the corner of her eye. His feet were heavy, planted shoulder width apart. He didn’t sway as the wind picked up, a solid beskar statue in the foreign landscape.

Suddenly he fired once, then twice. Ten flinched at the unexpected noise. Finally, he spoke. “The cameras are taken care of.”

“A little warning next time?” Before he could respond, she flung herself from the wall. She braced herself on her hands as she landed, Mando dropping beside her a moment later. She held up a hand.

After a few beats of silence, she nodded at him. “Seems like they haven’t upgraded security after all,” she noted, moving towards the back entrance. As they got closer, she saw that the cameras were indeed demolished by the shots.

“Don’t suppose you know the interior blueprints as well?” Mando asked at her left shoulder.

“No,” she shook her head. “Those are usually harder to get a hold of. But I have been hired by many men like Kraz. They like to keep their personal offices in the back of buildings, it makes them feel safer for some reason. See that window?”

She gestured directly above them, where the largest window on the back facade sat. It was also the only window inset with what appeared to be rare minerals.

“I agree,” Mando said before she could finish. “That’s a good place to start. After you.”

Ten examined the back entrance, gliding her hand along the smooth edges of the metal. The locking mechanism blinked orange gently, and she recognized an optical scanner. But beneath that … a keyboard override, hidden under an unlocked panel. Perfect.

Taking one of her daggers from her belt, she was able to tear off the cover of the keypad box with her hands. Ten held the dagger up. It was one of her favourites. The handle was nondescript, simple, fitted perfectly to her grip. Its blade was stronger than any other she owned, and she strongly suspected it had been mixed with beskar, though she couldn’t be sure. Maybe she would ask the Mandalorian.

She pried under the edge of the keypad, battling metal on metal, leveraging with all her strength. Finally, as she expected, her metal won, and the bottom edge of the keypad popped off with a satisfying crack. She cut every wire she found lying underneath, one by one until—

The door slid open with a whirr as the orange light went dark.

“Would’ve been faster to shoot it open,” said Mando.

“And set off every alarm they have in this place.” She strode past him into the building. The cement walls echoed her footsteps, but there was no other sound bouncing off them. The overhead lights flickered slowly.

The hallway branched into a T shortly ahead of them, and her and Mando took to a side of the wall. Nodding, they inched over the corner, blasters drawn. Ten found a long corridor on her side, ending in a window. There were no doors. She spoke first, in a low tone.

“All clear here.”

“Here too.”

Relaxing marginally, she turned. The other direction appeared much the same, with another doorless hallway. Ten shrugged.

“Your choice is as good as mine.”

Mando wordlessly started down the hall to the right. She followed, pulling her hood over her head as she did. She ran her hand lightly along the wall. It was cold to the touch. She tightened her grip on her blaster.

A stairway emerged at the end of the hallway, and they followed silently. The next level was similar to the first, though featured more hallways going deeper into the building and an occasional linen draped on the wall. Finally, they came to a wide door, inlaid with the same mineral as the exterior window.

It was empty inside. A large wooden desk occupied much of the room, facing towards the ornate window. The sunlight streamed in freely, casting multicoloured shapes over the room. It reflected off Mando’s beskar as he approached the computer terminal on the desk.

“The communications log should give us enough information on whether he’s working with the Empire.” He called up a projected screen, gloved fingers running over the controls. “Should be … here. Most people don’t even restrict access. We can download it to look at on the ship.”

Ten nodded. She moved towards the window. Closer to it, she could see the small bubbles enclosed in the inlays. It felt rough. She wasn’t sure why she was so drawn to touch today, but it felt as if a live wire had been inserted beneath her skin, the smallest of currents lighting her nerves.

“Done,” came Mando’s modulated tone, pulling her attention. “We should go—”

Before he could finish, the latch clicked in the door. They both watched, unable to do anything, as the handle turned and the door opened fully.

A human man stood there, looking down at his holopad at first. Mando raised his blaster slowly. By the time the man looked up, it was directly in front of his face, and his eyes widened as he took the two of them in.

“W-who the hell are you?” he asked shakily. “You shouldn’t be in here, I …”

“We’re going to walk out of here,” Mando said calmly. “There’s no reason to panic. You’re going to stay in this office for five minutes, and then go about your day. Got it?”

The man’s eyes darted rapidly back and forth between them. Ten tried to soften her eyes, to urge him to listen. She wasn’t sure it worked.

Faster than either of them could react, he screamed out, tripping backwards over himself out of the office. Mando fired down into his leg and he collapsed, screaming more, but it was too late, the damage had been done.

As they sprinted out and away from the office, Ten could already hear the sound of boots echoing off the walls. They’d almost reached the stairs when a group of armed security burst out of a hallway in front of them. It was six on two and damn if Ten didn’t like those odds.

Blaster fire broke out almost immediately. Just as quickly, Ten lost track of Mando in the shuffle, but it didn’t matter.

She shot at the two men in front of her, electing for quantity over quality in her aim. She managed to hit one somewhere in the torso and he crumpled to the ground. After a number of other shots she hit the next man in the shoulder, which worked to her advantage. He dropped his blaster with a shout, but stayed on his feet.

Ten pulled two of the small knives from her belt. Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she aimed before whipping it forehead. It spun in the air before hitting its mark, buried inside the man’s neck. He sputtered as he fell to his knees, then onto his face.

Spinning around, she saw Mando taking down a fifth officer behind her, two others already on the ground. She counted quickly.

“Where’s the sixth one?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Mando grunted, dropping the officer to the ground. He raced toward the stairs and she followed.

It appeared they were mostly in the clear, the branch off to the door just ahead of them. Ten led ahead, turning the corner first.

She was met with a blaster pressed to her forehead. It was the sixth officer, her hands shaking as she pressed the barrel harder into the skin.

Ten couldn’t even consciously control her response. It didn’t matter that Mando stood just behind her.

Her hand reached up in front of her, gripping seemingly around nothing, pushing forward. She pulled on the invisible field which was always with her, calling on it. Slowly the barrel of the blaster moved away and so too did the officer, beginning to cough and sputter as her windpipe closed. Ten panted, squeezing tighter and higher, and now the officer was a good three metres in front of her, feet lifting off the ground, eyes rolling into her head. With a grunt, she quickly jerked her arm to the side, sending the officer flying into the wall. The crumpled figure on the ground didn’t move.

“You just …” came Mando’s voice behind her. She turned to look back at him. “You’re a Jedi.”

“We don’t have time for this but let’s get one thing straight. I am not a Jedi.”