#sword and shield still get shit to this day but scarlet and violet get to just... move on??

[mokeonn]

Hey quick question, why the fuck was everyone angry at sword and shield for being ugly, rushed pokemon games but was pretty much completely fine with Scarlett and Violet being worse?

[medea10]

Medea Plays Pokemon Scarlet & Violet: Part I

Time for my shit and giggles shit-post. I mostly do this for my friends who end up on the fence of buying a game. And seeing as this is the latest Pokemon game, I am all up in this drama. I mean, let’s face it, these games were getting trashed on. What else is new? Sword and Shield got shit on early on because of the national dex and something about mother fucking trees. Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl got shit on because of its chibi-ism and no charisma of Platinum. And Legends Arceus got shit on because...I don’t know, internet trolls will find anything to shit on. As always, I’d like to give the benefit of the doubt by playing it myself.

Clefable is unobtainable in Pokemon Scarlet and Pokemon Violet

Okay, okay. But in all seriousness, let’s start this off on the right path.

Literally the second after you choose the language for the game, you get to customize your character. You can even choose eye shapes and eyebrow intensity. Well, here’s my black-ass not smiling. Just like in real life.

Unfortunately, you’re stuck with these whack-ass uniforms where you can’t even change the color to. I guess that’s because you’re attending school now. Let’s meet Director Clavell.

No. But a pearl point if you got the reference.

No, this is the bro that heads up the academy you’re going to attend. And for the moment, I’m focusing on playing Scarlet. I’ll probably fuss around with Violet later down the road. Clavell will give you your first pokemon.

I picked weed kitty. His name is Dr. Dre (or Dre for short). I love you Dr. Dre.

Before leaving, let’s say goodbye to my mother.

At least she has a room in this game. In past games it looks like the mothers would sleep in the kitchen.

Ooh, I hope it’s a meatball parm.

Yeah, this game LOVES sandwiches. You even have a classmate that loves making sandwiches. I feel like I’m running into a bunch of Thurman Mermans.

People eat sandwiches. Pokemon eat sandwiches.

Give Koraidon or Miraidon your sandwich at the beginning and it’ll save you from a pack of Houndour and become your bicycle (that runs instead of cycles). I’d like to see Ash Ketchum try and break this one. You get Koraidon quite fast as it belonged to Arven and his parent.

In the past, we’ve gotten certain version exclusives like certain pokemon and gym leaders are only available on a certain game. In this game, that applies to the professors. Either one, Arven is still their kid.

His parents are Professor Big N***a and Crazy Bitch.

They aren’t really. But come on, you were all thinking the same thing. Well, we’re not really going to worry about the professors for now. It’s time for school.

Your homeroom teacher is Mr. Jacq-strap. You have classmates of all kinds attending school alongside you. And once you go on your treasure hunt journey, you’ll battle students from the academy.

What?

Pokemon, what the fuck are you doing? No, seriously. What the fuck is this? I can accept people attending school at any age. But what the fuck is this Harvey Weinstein-looking mother fucker doing in a school uniform, shorts and all?! This is not Pokemon. I’m convinced Family Guy hijacked this and made a pedophile joke. What the fuck?! I seriously do not like the way this guy is looking at me.

I’m sorry, but that set me off. Where was I?

I’m in my dorm room. Yeah. Nice that my dorm room here is a lot more spacious than the one from when I attended college. And for those who hate Nemona, don’t worry, she won’t be your roommate.

I’m not sure how to feel about Nemona yet. People either hate her or want to fuck her. I just think that she loves pokemon battles the same way Yumeko Jabami from Kakegurui loves to gamble. They both get wet from it.

On your first day of school, you’re being pushed to do many things. Nemona wants you to go the traditional route of challenging gym leaders and becoming champion. Arven wants you to search for Titan Pokemon.

Don’t blame me, the game only gives me two choices to your request.

And then there’s some bruh that hacks your phone and wants you to go after Team Star.

At least when it comes to this last quest, you do get some help from ‘a student’.

Give Director Clavell some credit, at least he doesn’t look as cringe as that other student. But he was totally obvious in that get-up. Like, Professor Kukui as Masked Royal had more of a disguise.

Bruh, just stop!

Okay, let’s have some fun in this open world. Let’s teach my team some fun, new moves.

Sigh. At least getting duplicates hasn’t been as painfully stupid as it was in the Diamond and Pearl remakes. Let’s look at some Pokedex entries.

Wow. Magikarp is getting burned in this entry.

Let’s terra! Following Sword and Shield’s dynamax phenomenon, pokemon can terraform and crystalize. A crystalized pokemon. How original!

ORANGE ISLANDS DID IT FIRST!

ORANGE ISLANDS DID IT FIRST!

ORANGE ISLANDS DID IT FIRST!

WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO ACKNOWLEDGE ORANGE ISLANDS AGAIN, POKEMON?! YOU CAN’T IGNORE IT! IT EXISTS!

Time for a sandwich break.

Mmm...look at that quality-ass sandwich. I’ll give Pokemon this, at least this sandwich isn’t as cringe-looking as other shit sandwiches.

Thankfully technology has evolved a bit so we don’t have to make sandwiches that look like they came from Rapsittie Street Kids hell. But not by much.

But it isn’t just sandwiches. There’s a lot of restaurants and different treats to eat in different cities.

These foods help when it comes to catching pokemon and producing pokemon eggs. Ditto is still being used here. It’s just that you have to put the two pokemon you want to make whoopie on your team when you go on a picnic and keep checking the basket to see if the stork dumped some eggs.

And sometimes, Mr. Stork might bring more than one egg.

Now, let’s talk about falls.

First of all, you cannot use your phone as a parachute. That’s just not something. Secondly, if you end up in the water without the use of a swimming aid or fall from a large height, you’ll just go back to the top like nothing happened. If this were Legends Arceus...

Okay, let’s get into gym battles. First, there are no more trainers in the gym that challenge you while you make your way to the gym leader. Instead, you have to do a task for each gym.

GOD DAMN IT! Pokemon, I am sick of having to gather other people’s pokemon. I had it up to here when I had to chase that fucking Furfrou back in XY. Yes, I realize this all started back in Johto-times with Sylvester and his Farfetch’d. But the Furfrou one really irritated me.

One gym down. Seven more to go. Let’s take a break.

This shit-post is brought to you by Every Wich Way Sandwich Shop. The sandwich that makes you ask the question...

To be continued.

[dragontamer05]

Flaws and all I do honestly and genuinely like Pokemon Violet, and I'm still willing to defend it on some points.

However I'm not that blind, nostalgia driven or any other reason you want to give to ignore / not see it's problems.

And I'm not even talking glitches - and whether or not something's been patched (I mean since so many love btow comparison even that game has it's fair share of glitches that even today haven't been patched and people use them to like speed run n shit )

Like even from a strict graphical stand point, there are moments where it genuinely looks nice - the pokemon models are great, but oof I can admit and agree it's also rough in places that giving a fair comparison in someways I think just when it comes to like shading/lighting alone I'll say it both Arceus and Sword/Shield look better

hell hate on the chibi style all you want but bdsp are pretty games,

Violet and Scarlet again they do have their moments but at times feel like someone bumped up the brightness a bit much. Like during the times of the game when it's the evening / sunset, night, just any point with a lower light the way the shadows and light are makes it look rather nice. but like idk morning/rest of the day it is so bright.

While there are some unique spots like the bamboo forest or mountains, even the starting area with the bit of hills , little pond ect kinda nice

at the very least idk give us back random npc houses away from the city/towns. Maybe it's a farmers in the olive fields or a like a cabin tucked away in the mountains. At least seeing over world weather more often would kinda be nice

--

I think S/V did also do well in proving one point which was that- Sword and Shield had the right idea of having the world pause while doing certain actions. Cause sure maybe it looks silly but I'd sure as hell rather have things get frozen in place while I mess around in the menu screen or climb up something then. Be doing all those things and having to worry about not being in an area where I'm going to get swarmed and immediately yeeted into an unwanted battle because some pokemon gunned for my ass and is right on top of me now.

Imagine how annoying it'd be to finish climbing a ladder to have a pokemon right beneath it.

[kariachi]

So last year, for Anosmia Awareness Day, Nintendo revealed Pokemon Scarlet and Violet. This year, they’ve announced DLC for Scarlet and Violet.

Maintaining consistency if nothing else.

So, let’s look into some shit and see if they’re giving us anything more than the Lechonk line, which still need to go on a ‘pokemon for anosmiacs’ list.

Well that was about the vaguest trailer ever. Out of two minutes nearly half of it was taken up by shots of a live action pokemon-themed festival (and note I say themed because they don’t show any actual pokemon aside from a picture of a few new ones- a monkey, shiba inu, stork, and something) and then, apparently some sort’ve research facility out on the sea/ocean, because we didn’t get enough in Sun and Moon.

Four new characters of some sort? An auxiliary elite four or something, I don’t know.

Two DLCs, of course, one of which is revealed along with the art of what I assume is a new pokemon, some sort’ve humanoid with a leafy-wooden-looking mask that has me raising an eyebrow, but we’ll see what the fucks going on. The second one is revealed along with the art for what is definitely a pokemon, looks like that ‘source of terastalization’ thing from the main games is a crystal turtle with long-furred tails, which isn’t too bad I suppose. It’s covered in the symbols for the various types which, is head tilty in many many ways.

Okay, let’s check the proper Pokemon Presents...

“Today is Pokemon Day” No, sorry, today is Anosmia Awareness Day, you don’t get top billing here. Maybe if you did more for us, but so far no dice.

They coulda just said ‘we’re doing a premium tcg run’, but no, they had to do the most intense presentation of a card game since fucking Yu-Gi-Oh

Huh, Netflix is going to be doing a stop-motion pokemon thing. That certainly is a concept. ‘Pokemon Concierge’, following a worker at a resort for pokemon. Only get to see the barest bit of actual footage, but it doesn’t look too bad.

Pokemon Masters stuff and let me just say that while I know everyone in Sword & Shield is supposed to be English, hearing them with the fucking accents is weird. Like, I can’t judge the quality of the accents but, it sounds fucking weird.

Pokemon Sleep is a thing they haven’t abandoned, apparently. It’s one of those concepts where it’s like, I can see how you could get good use out of it- for instance if you have a kid with sleeping issues this could be a fun way to get them involved in monitoring their sleep, especially if it’s at disorder levels where you need to track things for medical purposes, this could make things a little less of a chore. But I’m also wary on a ‘what does Nintendo look to gain by having you sleep with your phone on next to you’ level.

And they’re trying to integrate it with Pokemon Go? That’s, certainly something...

Okay, finally we’re getting to the Scarlet and Violet stuff

There is a raptor Suicune (no I have no idea who looked at Suicune and went ‘make it a raptor’ but it happened and it looks gnarly) and a robo-Virizion now. Walking Wake, a water/dragon type paradox pokemon, and Iron Leaves, a grass/psychic paradox pokemon. Apparently they’ll be available in Scarlet & Violet respectively in a new Tera Raid event.

Gotta admit, raptor-Suicune is a cool new dragon. Doesn’t make up for the Frigibax line being shit designs, but I’ll take it.

Huh, they’re connecting Pokemon Go to Scarlet & Violet, you’ll be able to transfer postcards from Go over and get different Vivillion depending on where the postcard is from. Was wondering if they would do something with the different patterns...

So apparently in the first DLC you’re going on a school trip outside of Paldea, and the second one lets you do the exchange student thing at another school. The DLC grants new uniforms, which honestly is more exciting than the new pokemon, goddamn is the fashion limited this gen, and if you preorder you get a Hisuian Zoroark.

That seen, to the site we go for details

Okay, our new trio pokemon: Okidogi- the weird dog-like humanoid; Munkidori- the weird monkey thing; and Fezandipiti- the bird critter. Available in the first DLC.

And our new legends: Ogerpon- the masked fucker; and Terapagos- the glittery fur turtle.

They all certainly exist now, only Terapagos and Walking Wake get my vote.