#t:oneshot

[chilligyu]

info: hong jisoo/reader, teen+, street fighter/friends to lovers au genre: drama, romance, angst | word ct: 5k warnings: descriptions of wounds, violence, fighting, blood, unrequited love summary: once upon a time, two young children made a promise. for nearly twenty long years they kept that promise. but everyone has their breaking point. and she found hers. note: this story has been written, rewritten, edited, smooshed together, more times than I care to admit. but,,, I think I finally got it to a point that I'm really proud of. thank you to everyone who's helped me out along the way, @xfirebenderx you have been my saving grace. tysm!!

tagging: @joshuas, @moriiyun, @starlightjoong, @lavenonie and @sincerelyskye

“Please…”

A familiar voice begged her quietly from the darkness.

“Don’t leave me…”

With a shaky hand on the doorknob, she froze. She kept her back to him, unable to fully process what was happening. Trying desperately to fight the urge to run as far away from him as she could.

How did everything go so wrong? She wondered to herself, on the brink of tears. What happened to you?

The answer wasn’t so simple, but God it would’ve been easier if she left. She should’ve left months ago but she didn’t, she couldn’t. She would stay by his side and endure everything because she made him a childish promise so many years ago.

Back when they were young, she promised to never abandon him. To never turn her back, to be there for him because no one else was. And he made promises that echoed the same. They were best friends, after all. It had always been them against the world. Despite that, despite everything they had been through together, her better judgement was screaming at her to go. She wanted nothing more than to leave him behind, to finally save her battered heart from the person who kept breaking it.

From him, Hong Jisoo, the one person she promised she would never leave.

“Okay.” She whispered. “I’ll stay.”

She turned around slowly, stomaching her pride and well-being because he needed her. Inhale, exhale. She wouldn’t cry over him, not yet. He needed her, he needed something. He was laying on her couch, blood soaking the cheap upholstery, and his body was shaking from shock. There wasn’t much she could do, but she was all he had. They were all they had.

While she cleaned his wounds, she struggled to pinpoint the exact moment when he had taken things too far. For as long as she could remember, he had always toed the edge of mostly acceptable and borderline insane with a certain amount of grace. That’s what set him apart from everyone else, apart from his extremely deep sense of justice, overwhelming selflessness, and eagerness to do whatever he could to help people in need. Often at the expense of his own wellbeing.

From chasing purse snatchers to sneaking into abandoned warehouses that weren’t actually abandoned just to save pit bulls from dog fights, Jisoo made it painfully clear that he lacked the minimum amount of self-preservation. It wasn’t uncommon for him to get in way over his head, but she would always be there to help him out. He was a bit of a troublemaker, that much was obvious. Not that she ever cared. Because no matter how much trouble he got into, there was always a good reason. He promised her that a long time ago.

That was a promise he didn’t need to make because she knew full well that Jisoo was, and still is, a good person. Everything he did, every crazy endeavor, was to help people. She had seen it firsthand enough times in her life. That was how they met back in nursery school, after a particularly nasty classmate put gum in her hair Jisoo leapt into action. He tackled the kid to the ground with ease and taught him a thing or two. That was also the first time she saw him get into a fight, and it wouldn’t be the last.

What she couldn’t understand, what she couldn’t even begin to wrap her head around, was why he got into street fighting of all things? Because that wasn’t somewhere in the grey area between acceptable and insane, that was insane. That was way past insane. Not to mention it was against everything Jisoo stood for. How did her capeless hero go from selflessly protecting others to actively hurting people? What changed? What was the reason? And how on earth did she get caught up in this mess?

The answer was simple, and she didn’t like it one bit. All he had to do to convince her was ask. He asked a simple question, one wrapped up in the pact they made as children.

“Remember how you said you’d always be there for me?” He started nervously one afternoon while she was studying in the library. “I have a favor to ask…”

Honestly, she couldn’t remember exactly how he worded it, but she got the gist of it. Her best friend wanted to become a street fighter, to hurt people for money, and he wanted her to come with him. He said he didn’t want to worry his roommates by coming home late at night when he could crash at her place. That way if he got hurt, she could patch him up like she always did, and no one would be the wiser. He discussed all of this with her like it was the most normal thing in the world. Like getting beat up regularly was no big deal at all.

Part of her wanted to scream at him, to berate him for making such reckless decisions, to take him by the ear and drag him home to his parents so they could give him a piece of their mind—

Then, he smiled at her. The very same smile that could melt the coldest of hearts and her mind went completely blank. She couldn’t remember much of the specifics after that because he had effectively hypnotized her with his infectious smile. She didn’t even make a fuss which wasn’t typical of her in the slightest. Not that she could ever imagine saying no to him, nor did she even plan to. He needed her, he’s always needed her.

Still, she desperately wanted it all to be a bad dream. Even as she stood on the sidelines for the very first time watching her best friend get punched, kicked, tackled and more, she prayed that it wasn’t real. She did her best to ignore how he grunted in pain, how the crowd turned ravenous over the sight of spilled blood, and how he looked eerily similar to the caged dogs he used to save from that same fate. Seeing him like that made her heart ache in ways she never knew it could.

How she missed the days when the worst thing Jisoo got involved in was under the table delivery jobs and falling out of trees trying to save stray kittens. Because when she looked at the man standing in the ring wearing her best friend's face, grinning triumphantly with his hands in the air, she could hardly recognize him. He looked nothing like the kid who protected others no matter what. Not with all that blood on his face.

Who are you and what have you done with Jisoo? She worried to herself as she toweled off his brow. Why are you doing this to yourself? What could possibly be worth all of this?

Still, she attended every fight and acted as his personal medic. She promised him that much. And for a short period of time, it went pretty well. For several weeks he was on a winning streak, no one could beat him. Much to the dismay of the people placing bets against him. See, while Jisoo didn’t look like much of a fighter, or the type of guy to even get into a fight, he was really good at it. That’s why she never worried about him being outmatched in the ring, he could handle himself. Not only that, before every match, he made her a promise.

“For good luck?” He asked sheepishly with his pinky finger extended. “I can’t do this without you.”

Looking at his finger, she thought back to all the times they made each other a promise over the tiniest things. It started when they were young. When he was going into a test or a school competition she made him promise to do well, kick ass, and various other things. It seemed silly to her back then, but it always worked out. Because Jisoo always swore up and down that if it was a promise to her, he would follow through without fail. And she believed it, even when the odds were stacked against him. She had to because it was the only way she could sleep at night.

“Promise me you’ll be safe.” She said calmly, locking pinky’s with him.

“I promise.”

“Promise me you’ll be smart.”

“I promise.”

“Promise me you’ll win.” She finished with a weak smile.

He nodded, grinning ear to ear. “I promise.”

Right before he turned away, fully prepared for the violent show he was about to put on, she pulled him back in for a reassuring hug. As much as she didn’t want to see him get hurt, even though she couldn’t stand the thought of watching him helplessly from the sideline, a promise was a promise.

“Be careful out there.” She whispered in his ear.

He held her close for a brief moment. “I will. Don’t worry about me.”

If I don’t then who will?

They lingered a bit longer than either intended. Eventually Jisoo headed out into the crowd with his hands raised proudly over his head, and she pretended to be happy for him. The crowd cheered on the newest contender while her stomach did backflips. Everything seemed fine until his opponent landed a blow that sent Jisoo to his knees. In truth, she almost gave up right then and there.

I think I’m going to be sick...

Why she didn’t draw the line at street fighting back then, the one thing she couldn’t support, was beyond her. Or why she thought it would be a good idea to stand there and constantly watch her best friend get beaten senseless time and time again. She swore that she had absolutely no clue way she let him get away with everything, why she didn’t try to make him see reason long ago—

But she did.

Because I’m hopelessly in love. She sighed, wringing out the blood soaked towel. I’m in love with a man I can never abandon, no matter how much it hurts.

Maybe if she wasn’t, she would’ve had the courage to leave and never look back.

She had accepted that being in love with her best friend was going to be hard, even when she was just silently pining from a distance. In hindsight she didn’t realize how easy it was back then compared to how it is now. Watching the man she loved throw himself into dangerous situations with reckless abandon or never knowing when he would appear on her doorstep in dire need of help did not bode well for her sanity. Because loving Hong Jisoo was the equivalent to getting her heart broken every single day. She had to be ready to lose track of him for several days, she had to be willing to drive to the ER at three in the morning, and she lived every day wondering if today was the day. The day that he happily followed his moral compass off a cliff simply because it pointed him there.

The moment that Jisoo stopped being a misguided rescuer and became a selfless martyr wasn’t one she could name. When they were in school, everything seemed so innocent. He was always trying to save the lost souls of the world, even the ones who didn’t want saving. He would only date girls who needed fixing, doted on friends that needed his help, and everyday he tried to save people from themselves.

Surprisingly, she didn’t fit into any of those categories. She was the type to save herself. Throughout their lives she never asked him for anything, and perhaps that’s why they were such good friends. The last thing she wanted to be was another one of his projects, a hopeless cause he refused to give up on. If anything—he was hers. Over the years she stood by him, desperately hoping that he would eventually get a grip on reality. That maybe he would see the light and stop being so—good. She hated herself for thinking about it that way, but it was the truth. She knew better than anyone that if he didn’t find some sort of balance he would run himself to the ground.

Much like he was actively doing.

“Not going to wish me good luck today?” He teased her as he wrapped his fists.

She rolled her eyes. “You need a lot more than luck, Jisoo.”

“Ouch.” He winced unconvincingly. “Don’t tell me you’re going to break tradition, I don’t know how I’ll make it without you.”

“You’re being ridiculous.” She muttered.

“I didn’t realize that my concern for safety was ridiculous!” He laughed, clearly unable to read the room. “C’mon, don’t leave me hanging. I need you.”

And I need you to stop hurting yourself.

Despite her thoughts, she raised her pinky finger towards him with a sigh. “Promise me.”

She made him promise to be quick on his feet, to be smart out there, and to win. While the words spilled out of her mouth she had a sinking feeling in her stomach, heavy and all consuming. Dread. And as he ran out to start his fight the feeling only got worse. Something was about to go terribly wrong and she knew it.

Her mind wandered back to their days in school, when Jisoo was the beautiful contradiction of a perfect student with a shady background. People saw him running deliveries late at night, dealing a lot in cash and thought the worst. She knew the truth, she knew that his neighbour had injured himself and couldn’t afford to hire anyone to take care of deliveries. So instead of watching from the sideline, Jisoo did what he did best. He helped the old man secretly and accepted what little payment he could offer.

How she missed those days of innocence and promise. How she missed the memories of Jisoo’s selfless actions, ones that were slowly being lost beneath the sea of blood.

It turns out she was right to be worried. It was the first time Hong Jisoo ever broke a promise to her. He was carried out of the makeshift arena by two other fighters, barely able to stand on his own. They threw him at her feet and left without a word because he had lost. Before shock had a chance to set in she scrambled to his side with a wet rag, instinctively wiping off the blood that covered him while she did her best to keep her dinner down. He looked—he looked terrible. She had a hard time recalling a worse sight in her entire life.

He was barely recognizable.

“I’m sorry…” He said weakly, his good eye pleading with her. “I broke my promise…”

“Shut up.” She instructed him. “Don’t even think of that right now, let’s just get you home.”

It was a struggle getting him back to her apartment. He wasn’t a big guy but he wasn’t tiny either. Luckily her roommates were nowhere to be seen so they wouldn’t have to explain anything to them. Only a few people knew the truth of Jisoo and she had a feeling that the list was getting shorter. After lugging him up the stairs she got him onto her couch, not even bothering to try and keep it clean, and pulled the med kit out of her bag.

Since he started fighting she had no shortage of rags to clean him up with, they had become somewhat of a necessity. Still, she somehow dirtied every single one trying to get him clean. It would’ve been easier to sit him in a hot shower and let modern technology work its magic, but he couldn’t sit up on his own let alone stand. Not only that, he kept drifting in and out of consciousness. She didn’t want to risk him falling.

Eventually he was clean and everything seemed to be—okay. Or as okay as he could be after that. Just looking at him had her on the brink of tears. She couldn’t stand seeing him like that, a mere shadow of the man she had loved for so long. His right eye was swollen shut, his nose most definitely had been broken, and the smile that melted her heart had been cut through. She didn’t even dare to look at the rest of him, at the bruises peering out from underneath his tank top and the open wounds that seeped through his jeans.

I need to be strong. She decided. For him.

Except that was only an hour ago.

And she had no strength left.

Once he fell asleep her resolve finally broke. She promised herself when this all began that she would never let him know how much the whole ordeal hurt her deep down inside. No matter what, she wouldn’t cry in front of him. She wouldn’t be someone he had to worry about, she wouldn’t be able to forgive herself. But enough was enough. Whether she wanted to or not, she couldn’t stop the tears from falling. She wept freely over someone she cared for, admired, and loved despite everything he put her through. Because he swore that even if every bone in his body was broken, he would never break a promise to her.

But he did, and she couldn’t trust him anymore.

“Please…” He begged quietly. “Don’t cry…”

She didn’t stir at the sound of his voice, or the reassuring hand on hers. “Why are you doing this to yourself, Jisoo? What is worth all of this pain? Can you at least tell me that much?”

Silence descended upon them in response to the one question that he refused to answer. It drove her crazy, that he was doing this to himself and wouldn’t even tell her why. Why he suddenly transitioned from an angelic rebel without a cause to a ruthless brawler in the streets. She felt like the little boy that chased away bullies was slipping from her grasp, the Jisoo that was laying in front of her—she could hardly recognize.

And she decided that night that she wouldn’t have a part in it anymore.

The next time he called her to meet him for a fight, she didn’t respond. Nor did she respond to any message he left after that. For weeks she had absolutely nothing to do with Hong Jisoo. He left her a dozen voicemails, a hundred messages, and she told herself that she didn’t care. He broke a promise to her so she broke one to him. She couldn’t stand there and let him break her heart over and over again without consequence. Street fighting—she wasn’t going to support that any longer.

That didn’t mean her heart didn’t ache for him anymore. She wasn’t sure if that would ever be the case. She made some acquaintances while she attended Jisoo’s fights so she was able to keep tabs on him, forever fearing the moment when he was going to take it too far. When, not if, the next call she got from him came from a hospital. Sometimes the news was good, sometimes it was bad. She felt equally terrible each time.

In fact she felt terrible consistently, regardless of Jisoo fighting or not. As the days passed the sensation only seemed to get worse. She left him to stop feeling so horrible, to let her heart heal in some way. Apparently leaving him wasn’t as easy as she hoped. She still longed to see him, to make sure he was okay, to be there for the one person who had always been there for her. The one who asked her to stand by him, and the one she left behind.

After not speaking to him for almost a month she showed up at his apartment with kiwi ice cream as an apology. It wasn’t much, but that’s all she needed in the past so at least it would be a good start if he was still mad at her—if he had ever been mad at her at all. They had never really fought before, not to a point where she refused to talk to him. It was new territory for both of them. She had to keep reminding herself that things would never be the same and she would have to accept it. This was his life now, and maybe it could be hers.

When he opened the door though, her heart stopped.

Jisoo was basically bandaged from head to toe, his arm was held precariously in a sling and what little skin she could see was beaten black and blue. Butterfly bandaids kept open wounds together, injuries she had already taken care of had scarred, and her heart shattered into a million pieces all over again.

“Hey.” He greeted, ignoring her devastated expression. “Long time no see.”

“Jisoo…” She gasped. “You—you’re—”

“I’m fine.” He tried to reassure her. “I know it looks bad but I’m—”

“If you say I’m fine one more time I’m going to snap.” She hissed through her teeth. “You’re not fine, you look like absolute hell. You can’t keep doing this to yourself!”

He laughed, quite unconvincingly. “This is nothing, I promise you I’m—“

“Enough of your stupid promises!” She screamed at him. “I’m fucking sick of them!”

“I know I broke my promise to you,” He started with a sigh, “but we both knew that just because I promised you something, didn’t mean that I—”

He stopped when he saw the tears falling from her eyes.

“Oh please don’t cry.” He begged. “You can yell at me, you can hate me, but please, please, don’t cry.”

“I won’t stop.” She informed him. “If you’re going to keep going out and fighting for no goddamn reason and coming back looking like this then I’m not going to stop worrying about you!”

Shaking his head, he headed back into his apartment. “And if I have a reason?”

“Then tell me!” She begged as she finally unraveled. “Jisoo—if you’re not going to tell me why you’re doing this then I can’t be your friend anymore. I can’t stand here and watch you get beaten up for money. And I hate that you even asked me in the first place! I’ve been through enough for you and have asked for anything, not a damn thing except for an explanation! After everything I’ve endured for you I’m pretty fucking sure I’m owed that much!”

As he turned back around she could see the hurt in his eyes. “I know, I know, I’m sorry, I just—it’ll get better, I’ll prepare more, I—”

“You’re completely missing the point!” She cried. “I’m not watching the person I love get beat within an inch of his life every other night! I can’t do this anymore! I’m sick of worrying about you every time you’re out of my sight. It’s not fair, it’s not healthy! And you’re honestly an asshole if you think I’m going to stand by you while you do this for a minute longer!”

When she turned to leave, her confession laid out at his feet, broken and bloody like her heart, Jisoo reached out for her one last time.

“What did you just say?” He whispered, sorrow in his eyes. “Did you just—”

“Yes.” She confirmed. “I love you Jisoo and I always have, but I won’t put myself through this anymore. Since you’re not going to stop then this is goodbye. I can’t love a man who doesn’t even care that he’s broken my heart more times than I can count.”

He didn’t let go of her.

“Please, let me explain.” He pleaded with her. “Don’t leave like this.”

“So now you’re going to tell me?” She spat, turning and yanking her arm from his grasp. “After I’ve just confessed to you now you’re going to tell me everything? I didn’t realize the truth came with a price. You’re an ass that’s got everyone fooled. Even me.”

“I know, I am.” He agreed, running his good hand through his hair. “I didn’t want to bother you with my reasons, I didn’t want to get you involved. But it wasn’t fair of me to keep you in the dark like that. I never should’ve done that to you.”

Crossing her arms, she waited.

“You remember that old man I helped out as a kid?” He started. “The shop owner?”

She nodded.

“A car crashed into his shop a few months ago.” He continued. “The damage was too much for insurance to cover and he didn’t have the money to get it fixed on his own so I offered to help. My usual side jobs weren’t paying me enough, so my boss told me about the underground fights and how lucrative they can be…”

“Jisoo—” She exasperated. “Please tell me you haven’t been—”

“I have.” He admitted sheepishly. “I’ve been—I’ve been giving him the winnings from my fights. To help him out. I just wanted him to—”

“You’re telling me that this has just been another one of your selfless missions?” She questioned in disbelief. “Have you told him where the money’s coming from? Does he know that you’re risking your life for him? Do you think that’s what he wants? Do you think that anyone with any ounce of decency would ever want this?”

Jisoo pursed his lips. “Well, no, but that’s why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t—don’t—want him to know. It would break his heart—”

“So it’s okay to break my heart but not his?” She laughed bitterly. “You know what, fine. I’m done. You’ve shown me that you only care about the well-being of others. I’m obviously nothing to you. I don’t even care why you’re doing this anymore. I’m leaving, and you—”

He interrupted her tirade with a kiss. Forceful and desperate, trying to cling to whatever relationship they had. One that had been mangled and shredded to a point where she wasn’t sure there was anything left to save. Mustering her strength, she pushed him away. She might’ve loved him but that wasn’t what she wanted.

“You’re right.” He finally admitted. “Losing you isn’t worth all of this, I’ll stop. Promise.”

“Your promises mean nothing to me.” She said vehemently, tears springing from her eyes in anger. “What’s to say you won’t break this one too?”

“Because I love you.” He whispered. “And I know now that everything I’ve put your through hasn’t been right or fair but I promise—I swear that this will be different. No more fighting, that all stops now.”

She wasn’t convinced. “And what about tomorrow when someone asks you for a loan? Or when some stranger needs your fucking kidney? What’re you going to do then? I love that you’re so needlessly kind and generous but what you’re doing isn’t kindness anymore. It’s martyrdom and I’m scared of what you’re going to do next! At what point do you finally say no?”

For a long time there was silence.

“I’m sorry.” He returned quietly. “I’m sorry that I don’t know when to stop and I’m sorry that you always get dragged into these things. I’m sorry that I’ve just become so accustomed to your support that I expect it regardless of how stupid I’m being. I’m sorry that I didn’t know how much I was hurting you, I’m sorry that I’m in love with you just like you’re in love with me. I’m sorry I’m probably the hardest person in the world to love. But I promise you that things will be different now.”

She wanted to believe him, she really did. She wanted to run into his arms, never let him go, and have everything return to normal. She wanted to go back to when they were teenagers hiding a stray dog in his garage so his parents didn’t find out, back to when the only calls she got in the middle of the night were about new adventures and childish discoveries. Back when loving Jisoo didn’t hurt. Not like this.

She wasn’t sure that existed anymore.

“Jisoo I don’t—” She started, chewing on her lower lip. “I don’t know if I can forget these past couple months, let alone forgive them. You proved to me that I barely know you anymore and I don’t know how to move past that.”

He nodded in understanding, he knew it was going to take a lot more than an apology to win her back. “Alright, what do you want to do then?”

A hysterical laugh spilled past her lips. “Now that I really don’t know. Just—I don’t think I can trust you as a friend so I definitely won’t trust you as anything more. I love you but—but love isn’t always enough. It’s going to take more than a guilt ridden apology to help me move on.”

“What about a promise?” He offered with a soft smile. “A promise to you.”

“Jisoo…” She sighed. “A broken promise brought us here in the first place.”

“I’m not asking you to make me promise, I’m making a promise to you.” He clarified. “No pinky promises required.”

That caught her off guard.

“I promise to never get into another paid fight.” He began confidently. “I promise to never let anything like this ever happen again. I promise not to put myself in harm's way unless I’m protecting someone. I promise to take my well-being into consideration. I promise to do everything in my power to make it up to you. And I promise to be your friend no matter what.”

While he said no pinky promises required, they locked their little fingers almost reflexively. At that realization she started sobbing, letting that small promise make her feel happy and safe for the first time in a long while. She was unsure of where they would go from there, but she had a good feeling that everything would be okay if given enough time. Because Jisoo made her a promise, and as much as she protested their childish tradition, he always made it a point to keep his promises.

[enhypenwriters]

Practice Makes Perfect

☆Pairing: Jake X Reader

☆Genre: Fluff

☆Warning: None

Written by Admin Anna🦦

Plz don’t juge too hard🥺

..................................

You and Jake were good friends. You two met a year ago when he went to shoot a basket and ended up hitting you in the head. Since then you guys were attached at the hip. Many people assumed you were dating. When you told them you weren’t people would say you should. In your heart you wanted too more than anything. You wanted to ask Jake out but were afraid that he would feel the same and you would ruin your friendship.

“Y/n, just man up and ask him out.” Niki said as he ate his ramen. You were hanging out at dorms after your classes. The other boys weren’t home yet, so it was just you and Niki. “Well first I’m a women, so I can’t man up and second I’m scared.” “Then don’t be scared duh.” “You are literally the worst person to go to for advice.” You crossed your arms and tilted your head back in distress. “Well I’m the only here sooo...” as Niki started you two heard the door open. “Not anymore, byeee!” You got up from your chair and skipped over to see if Jungwon was home.

You saw the rest of the boys coming in the door. They each greeted you. Heeseung went to the kitchen just to be greeted by the worst sight. “NIKI!!! THATS MY RAMEN.” “Oops” Niki said in a chill tone. You laughed at their antics. “Jungwon can I talk to you?” “Yeah what’s up?” He said taking off his shoes. “Like alone?” Jungwon nodded and lead into the bedroom.

You both sat down on his bed. “So what’s up?” He asked. “Should I ask Jake out or is that weird?” All the boys knew about your crush expect for Jake. “Oh my gosh Y/n, yes! One hundred percent yes!!” “What if he says no and I ruin our friendship?” You fiddled with your fingers. “That’s just a risk you have to take, but that’s what life is all about.” You smiled at him, “You’re so much better at advice than Niki.” Jungwon chuckled, “I know. Now go!” He pulled you up and pushed you out.

You saw Jake sitting on the couch playing a video game with Jay. You walked over and sat down next to him. “Hey Y/n!” You smiled. “Jake, can I ask you something?” “Of course! What’s up? He said with the absolutely cutest smile anyone in the world could have. Jay could see what you were doing. He stood up and excused himself. “So, I like someone. What should I do?” Jake thought for a second. “You should ask the person out.” “Okay...” You gathered up your courage, “umm....Jake will you go out with me?” There was a moment of silence. You were nervous he was gonna say no. “That perfect!” He exclaimed. You were confused on what he meant. “Huh?” “They way you just said it! Just ask out the person you like, just like that.”

Jake turned back to the TV, “Jay! Are you coming back? I still need to beat you!” You just sat there in shock. Here you just confessed to Jake and he was completely oblivious. Jay came back in and saw your expression. He sighed. You stood up slowly. “Y/n where are you going?” Jake asked. “Oh, umm...I have some stuff I gotta do at home. I’ll see you guys later.” You quickly went to the kitchen to gather your things. You saw Sunoo and Sunghoon along with Niki and Heeseung. They looked at, usually you stayed for dinner and slept over. So it was unusual that you were leaving. “Y/n?” Sunoo said. You just got your backpack and left.

-

Sunoo looked at the rest of them, “That was weird.” Sunghoon decided to investigate. He went to Jay and Jake. “Hey, what happened just now?” “Huh?” Jake said beyond confused. Jay rolled his eyes. “Y/n...she just left.” Sunghoon said crossing his arms. “What why?” Jake asked in a sad tone. He loved when you stayed over. “Jake, what happened just now between you and Y/n?” Jay asked. “Well, she asked me what to do about a crush she had and then I told her to ask them out and she tried on me and I said that’s how she should do it.” Jay dropped his head. “Jake...” “What’s going on? Jungwon asked coming out of the bedroom. “Jake is an idiot.” Jay said.

The rest boys came in the living room. “What’s happening?” Heeseung asked. “I don’t know. What did I do wrong?” Jake looked around. “Tell them what you just told us.” Jay said pursing his lips. “Y/n asked for my advice about someone she likes, I told her to ask them out, she practiced on me, I said that was good.” They all groaned. Jake furrowed his eyebrows, “What?!?” Heeseung went over to Jake and lightly hit him on the back of the head, “You’re the person Y/n likes! She was asking you out!!!” Jake eyes widened, “Me...?” “Is there another Jake here?” Niki said sarcastically.

Jake didn’t know what to say. He had always liked you but didn’t want to make any moves in the chance that you didn’t like him that way. “I gotta go find her! I feel so bad!” Jake threw on the first shoes he could find and spirited out the door. Sunghoon shook his head “Jeez, he may be smart in school, but he ain’t in life.” “He took my shoes...he better not get them dirty.” Sunoo said

-

You sat at the bus stop in tears. You just had to accept the fact that Jake didn’t like you back. “There no use in crying over him.” You told yourself wiping your tears. Suddenly you heard you name. You sat up and looked around. You saw an out of breath Jake approaching you. You stood up and walked to him. “Y/n....I...I...” You took his hand and sat him down on the bench. “Catch your breath.” Jake nodded. After a minute he looked at you and felt wave of guilt when he saw you red puffy eyes. “Y/n, I’m so sorry. I had no idea that you were asking me out. You’re so incredible and I never thought you would like someone like me.” You smiled at him and touched his cheek, “Jake you’re as phenomenal as they make them. Why wouldn’t I like you?” Jake blushed and grinned, “So will you go out with me?” You pulled him into a hug.

[qobiin]

to live for us

pairing: gratsu (gray x natsu)

genre: angst, fluff | established relationship, canon-compliant

warnings: mentioned suicide attempt, post-galuna island arc, hurt/comfort, gray needs therapy

word count: 1684

summary: Natsu and Gray finally sit down and talk about Gray's Iced Shell attempt on Galuna Island.

“We need to talk.”

Natsu looks up from the drink Mirajane set down on the table before him a few minutes ago. Gray is standing in front of him, arms crossed against his chest in an attempt to stop his hands from subconsciously removing his clothes.

It never works, but Gray is of the mind that it makes him appear more intimidating than he actually is. Of course, Natsu isn’t sure he could ever find someone who wears underwear with hearts on them intimidating.

“Finally!” Natsu cheers, forcing a smile onto his face even when it’s the last thing he wishes to do. “Back home then?”

Gray nods even as he scowls, but he turns on his heel and immediately makes his way towards Fairy Tail’s doors anyway. Natsu jumps up from his seat and waves goodbye to Lucy who is sitting at the bar with Erza.

Happy looks up at him as he stands, but Natsu only has to wave wordlessly at him before the blue cat returns to focusing on his food. Gray is already halfway across the room, not one to wait or beat around the bush for important conversations like the one they are going to have. Natsu follows after him with his signature smile stuck in place, making sure to not have anything appear out of the ordinary about this situation.

He catches a few Fairy Tail members giving them odd glances, probably due to his and Gray’s lack of fighting and loud taunting. Natsu only waves pointedly at them before they avert their gazes and return back to what they were doing beforehand.

Natsu does not try to be subtle as he sniffs the air, taking in the familiar mix of scents in the guild. Everyone in the guild has known him long enough to know about the extent of the abilities he gained through the Dragon Slayer Magic that Igneel taught him as a child. There’s no need to be secretive around his hoard anyway.

Out in the streets, trailing after Gray as he leads them home, Natsu tones down on his sniffing as best as he can. If he garners a few strange or confused looks though, he doesn’t beat himself up about it. Most of these people will write off his behavior as a weird wizard thing and continue on with their day as they give him a wide berth. There is no need to worry.

His attention is drawn back to the moment when the scents start to signal his proximity to their home. Gray reaches the front door first and unlocks it, leaving it open for Natsu behind him.

The smell of home almost knocks him off his feet as he crosses the threshold. It’s just his, Happy, and Gray’s scents here, with hints of Erza scattered all around. Albeit, Gray’s scent is a bit stale considering the fact this is his first time returning home since they came back from Galuna Island.

They escaped punishment for breaking guild rules because the master wasn’t there but Natsu would like to not switch bodies with anyone ever again. It has been a few days at this point and still, Gray has not returned home. Natsu has been waiting patiently for this moment when they will sit down and discuss what is wrong.

Gray is sitting on their bed, shoes off and hands gripping the bottom of his shirt. Natsu reaches out and stops him from stripping, eyes on Gray’s face as the man focuses back in on the moment at present.

“Thanks,” Gray mumbles sullenly, his gaze downcast.

Natsu doesn’t say anything. He merely waits.

“I know you’re mad at me, but if you could tell me why you’re mad at me, it would make my apologizing to you much easier,” Gray scrambles to say after a moment of silence has passed between them.

Natsu tilts his head to the side and inhales, tasting the nerves and fright swirling around the edges of Gray’s scent. He exhales heavily, sitting down slowly on the bed beside Gray.

He leans back and lies down, keeping his eyes on the ceiling and not the man who should have been home with him these past few days. “I’m not mad.”

Gray twists at the waist to stare at him, his shoulders a stiff line that Natsu isn’t sure he has permission to soothe just yet. “Lying won’t help.”

“I’m not mad,” Natsu repeats, relaxing as their scents begin to blend together. “I’m worried about you. You scared me back there when you were going to sacrifice yourself to restrain Lyon. You knew by doing it your way you were going to end your life and yet you tried anyway.”

The silence that befalls them then is deafening. It goes on long enough that Natsu wonders if he should be angry after all. After a few seconds of contemplation though, he decides that anger would not help him right now and waits patiently for Gray to say something.

However, the longer the silence continues, the less likely Natsu believes that to be. Gray isn’t known for talking about feelings. Not just his own, but discussing feelings in general always gives his face a pinched quality that Natsu can’t help but laugh at sometimes.

He isn’t laughing now.

“You remember what I said when I asked you if we could find a place together, right?” Natsu asks once he is certain Gray won’t say anything without more prompting.

Natsu sees Gray’s nod in the corner of his eye and grins up at the ceiling as he thinks of the memory. Gray’s eyes had gone wide with surprise, his scent expanding with the force of it and appealing to Natsu so much he barely realized how close he had been getting until Gray pushed him back with a hand on his bare chest. Natsu had leaned in again to bury his nose in Gray’s neck anyway and gulp down lungfuls of his scent, smiling as Gray threaded his fingers through his hair and asked him why.

“I told you that you were the first in the guild to be added to my hoard when we were children. That I would want you near almost always and would despise every moment that we were apart,” Natsu recalls, his smile softer at the edges now. “I told you I fell in love with you when we were teenagers and that I would like to make you my mate in the future and you accepted.”

Natsu waits again, just to see if Gray will say anything at all before he uses his last-ditch effort. “How am I going to make you my mate if you’re not there for the future?”

Gray makes a sound as if Natsu has just kicked all the air out of his chest. They have fought and sparred enough times for Natsu to know what that actually sounds like so when Gray wheezes, he sits up quickly. He reaches out and takes Gray’s hands, biting his lip as the man who is his opposite in almost everything finally begins to cry.

Natsu moves closer until he can wrap his arms around Gray, tucking his head under Natsu’s chin as he shakes. His breath hitches but Natsu only clutches him tighter, holding him securely in his arms even as Gray somehow migrates to his lap. Natsu doesn’t mind that, he just holds on and waits.

Eventually, Gray’s sobs begin to make sense. Most of what he is saying is a mantra of “I’m sorry”s and half-aborted “I didn’t mean to do that”s, but Natsu gets the gist. He shushes and rocks Gray in his arms, focusing on their scents instead of the urge to cry with his mate.

When the worst of Gray’s tears have dried up, Natsu kisses the side of his head and pulls back far enough for their gazes to meet. Gray’s eyes are red-rimmed and puffy but he isn’t avoiding Natsu’s gaze anymore and that’s definitely a start.

“I think what happened with Ur was only dragged back up at Galuna Island and you never really healed from it,” Natsu ponders aloud, tilting his head in silent question and continuing when Gray nods tiredly. “She raised you like Igneel raised me and we’ve never gotten over suddenly losing them. Have we?”

Gray has to clear his throat twice before he says, “I don’t think we’ll ever be over that.”

“No,” Natsu agrees. “We won’t.”

“I should talk to someone,” Gray murmurs, the corners of his mouth twitching with amusement when Natsu raises an unimpressed brow at him. “A professional. Mirajane has been saying I should talk to the Good Doctor who helped Elfman after…”

Natsu smiles bitterly in response. Elfman was not the only one who had to talk to the Good Doctor after Lisanna died after all. Gray knows about this, of course, but Natsu had never strived to convince him of talking to the Good Doctor until now.

“I can let them know at my next session to expect an inquiry from you?” Natsu suggests.

Gray nods, leaning in quickly to press a kiss to Natsu’s cheek. “I’m still sorry. I just didn’t know how to fix things back on Galuna Island.”

Natsu nods but knows without seeing that his smile is not as bright anymore. “I think you just have to remember that you’re not alone anymore. Neither of us is and I’ll always have your back. We’re Fairy Tail members and you’re the one who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want us both to have long futures ahead of us.”

Gray’s cheeks flush a light pink, his scent curling with both embarrassment and quiet joy. “It will be hard, but I’ll try. If not for me or for you, then for Ur. For the life she gave me by giving up her own.”

“For Ur and Igneel,” Natsu agrees. “May they look upon us and see us happy. Together.”

“Together,” Gray assures him before he leans in and their lips meet in a soft kiss.

a/n: i forgot to post this when i first posted it on ao3, but i hope you all like this! this was written for icewhisper as part of the secret snipers exchange 2020!

[lcving-ateez]

You’d never know ♡

Plot: Your best friend had always cared about you but after an especially hard day, while he wants to show that even more, an upset you wants nothing more than to be alone. A heated argument brings the two closer than you'd ever imagined.

Word count: 1,979

Extras!: The first half is a bit of a Snapchat AU and the second half is in normal paragraphs.

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞 sent a snap!

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: so you are ignoring me

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: it shows that you're opening my messages

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: seriously?

Me: Mingi leave me alone please

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: can I have an explanation as to why my best friend cried in the library

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: didn't come to two of her lectures

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: totally ignored me on our lunch break

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞 is typing...

Me: yeah I get it

Me: I'm sorry okay?

Me: I'm a horrible person, happy now?

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: oh shut up you know I didn't mean it like that

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: what's up with you?

Me: nothing

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: that works on school counselors and parents

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: not the boy you've known since the second grade

Me: well maybe it's no-ones business genius. Can you not just accept that???

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: right then, I'm sorry for caring?

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: But go ahead and tell Yoosung since apparently your boyfriend of like three months is more important

Me: he is the problem

Me: Gi he broke up with me

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: no

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: this had better be a joke

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: he did what????

Me: he broke up with me Mingi

Me: he said I wasn't good enough

Me: that he dated me because he wanted to make his ex jealous

Me: it worked and now...

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: Y/N

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: he is in no way allowed to talk to you like that wtf

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: he's nothing compared to you, do you even know how perfect you are

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞 is typing...

Me: you don't have to say anything to make me feel better

Me: Idk who I was, thinking someone so far out of my league would ever want me in the first place

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: dont you dare beat yourself up because that asshole doesn't know how to act

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: how did it happen?

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: I'm so so sorry

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: I should've asked you nicer, I should've known you were hurting and I shouldn't have spoke to you the way I did earlier

Me: well I asked why he didn't come outside when we went to pick him up this morning

Me: he told me he 'wouldn't be caught dead in that piece of shit car your dumb-ass Mingi ever so proudly drags around'

Me: and then I told him not to talk about you like that

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: what kind of guy has that little self respect?

Me: then he told me about the whole ex thing and said what losers we both are and

Me: I just feel so stupid

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: Don't?? You're the smartest funniest prettiest girl I know

Me: you're just saying that because you feel like you need to right now

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: why on earth would I 'need' to say anything?

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: Y/N I don't bullshit when it's serious like this

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: I knew he was no good

Me: are you really playing the I knew it card right now????

Me: also why wouldn't you tell me then?

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: uh because you were happy??

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: I didn't want to ruin that for you

Me: I'm so done with guys

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: bit dramatic don't you think?

Me: let's just not talk about him

Me: I just stopped crying

Me: one more tear and I'll die of dehydration

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: you deserve better you know?

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: your first boyfriend was meant to be special and perfect for you

Me: well jokes on you minki

Me: he wasn't 🥵

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: I'm serioussss :(  you deserve someone who suits you and makes you happy

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: cute height difference

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: knows your favorite foods

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: knows your favorite memes

Me: if only such a guy existed

Me: and no one like that would be interested in me lol

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: YOURE SO SLOW

Me: awe aren't you lovely? 😘

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: Y/N L/N I COULDN'T BE ANY BLUNTER

Me: I told you I'm stupid 🤷🏻‍♀️

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: eye-

Me: 🥰🥰🥰

Me: Mingiiiiiiiii did I offend youuuu?

Me: open my messages rat

Me: don't be sad 😔🤠

Me: Minmin I love youuuUU

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: Look outside dipshit

Me: am I gonna see a spooky clown 😱😱🤪

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: IM FREEZING THIS ISNT THE TIME TO BE MESSING AROUND

Me: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STANDING ON MY LAWN SONG?!?!?!?!

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: L/N LET ME IN THESE TROUSERS ARE PAPER THIN

      

     You turned off your phone and rushed down the stairs, quickly unlocking the door. Mingi's soft brown hair covered his eyes in a messy mop; evidence of him jumping out of bed to come see you. He rubbed his hands feverishly up and down his biceps in an attempt to generate warmth.

"Extra ass" you sighed, yanking him by the shoulder into your house. Once he was inside and you'd locked the door again, you turned to him angrily.

"Why are you here? Mingi I told you I’m over him. I’m fine”

"Bold of you to assume I'm here to talk about that jackass" He huffed walking right past you and into the kitchen, fully knowing you'd follow him. You stomped behind him waiting to see what he'd do next.

Mingi ran his hands through his fringe while he opened the fridge, scanning its shelves for something to drink. Although you were a lot less emotional than you were this morning; today had been a lot and you weren't in the mood to speak to anyone, not even your best friend.

"Can you leave? I'll see you at uni tomorrow" you whined as he picked out an apple juice box and pulled the straw from it, totally ignoring you in the process.

"I'm serious, I don't want to see anyone. My parents are out for a while and this is the only time I get alone" The boy shut the fridge door and turned to you, leaning on his forearms against the granite countertop. It was awkward when he looked at you, holding eye contact as he slipped the straw between his lips, staring down at you condescendingly.

His expression was an uncanny blend of amused and standoffish. His brows were perked up and his eyes were blank in a way that seemed to challenge you without saying a word.

Go ahead, get mad. I dare you

And oh boy, did that piss you off.

   "I'm sorry did I say you could come in and open my fridge?" you asked leaving a pause for him to answer while you organized your angry thoughts; you weren't actually that mad about him taking a single juice box, it was more like the straw that broke the camel's back. Mingi simply shook his head, just waiting for you to go off.

"Then can you maybe have a single ounce of respect and ask before you come over for once?! God, guys are all the same you're so- so selfish and rude! I said I wanted to be alone today and you couldn't respect that, you didn't even try to comfort me or talk like a normal person!" Your rant was cut short as loud slurps irritated your thought process. He was stood there crushing the small carton, squeezing every last drop into his mouth before tossing it into the bin to his left.

Your head felt like it would explode into a million little pieces right then and there. His cold nature had you right on the verge of breaking out into tears of fury.

"Are you really that childish? Knock it off right now, Mingi. I've had one of the worst days of my life and I just- I just need to let it pass right now. You're not helping by being such a fu-" your voice was breaking and tears were unknowingly streaming down your cheek, but a sudden action surprised you enough to bring them to a sudden halt.

Mingi hated seeing you so mad but he knew you needed to let it out somewhere, and if he had to be your vessel then so be it; When he saw you start crying though, everything single brain cell in his head thought of how he could fix this. And being the quick - totally irrational - thinker he is, all Mingi could think of was to kissing you.

And kiss you he did.

As soon as he pushed off the counter his hand found the back of your neck like a magnet to metal. His grip was strong enough to show you how desperate he was but gentle enough to show you he meant no harm. His lips connected to yours in the blink of an eye while his other arm found its way around your waist, holding your much smaller frame tightly against his.

His lips moved slowly against your own, the feeling of electricity rushed through your veins as you melted wholly into the kiss, feeling loved and warm for the first time today. His plump lips were colder than yours from being outside and tasted faintly of the drink he'd had moments earlier, as you moved your head to the side the fruity smell engulfed you.

You could definitely get used to this.

With his fingers running a final stroke through your hair, Mingi pulled away gently as if asking for permission to do so. You complied and took a step back breaking away from his warmth as you ached for more. A satisfied smile graced his face, you'd never know how long he'd been waiting to do that.

Your mind was blank and the room was dead silent for far too long as you stood there, trying to process what had happened and trying to calm the furious red shade consuming your cheeks. Mingi broke this silence by laughing after he licked his lips. It started as a light giggle but quickly turned into a painful wheeze.

"W-what?" You asked, quite frankly seeing that smile on his face brought one to your own, his laugh was contagious.

"For a sad girl, you’re still so extra. Are you really wearing cherry flavored lip balm?" He continued to laugh, licking the glossy remnants off of his lips; you could've sworn your heart had stopped.

"’Min, that's gross! You can't do that!"

"But it tastes good" he frowened like a lost puppy, suddenly all was forgiven

"What are you doing to me?" Your head was clouded with far too many emotions to work normally so you thought out loud, hoping he'd have an answer.

"Hopefully cheering you up a little?"

"Song Mingi stop it right now! Can you just not mess with me like this? If you like me you can say so just don't if you...don't" your words wouldn't have made sense to anyone sane, but Mingi wasn't anyone; and he sure as hell wasn't sane. Your mum had always told you that guys only want one thing and it stuck with you, but He wasn't like that; your whole being wanted to believe Mingi wasn't like that.

"I would never hurt you Y/N. I wouldn't kiss you like that if I didn't mean it" He didn't need you to ask what he meant, years of friendship meant he could read your expression like an open book.

"I really really like you Y/N. God it feels good to say that. So I've like, liked you this way since freshman year but you've always treated me like a little brother - even though I'm a billion times taller than you - and I didn't think you'd want to date me anyways" Mingi kept that childish glint in his eyes as his hand rubbed the nape of his neck, waiting with baited breath for you to say anything, anything at all.

"Well you know, you could've said something because I thought you had a thing for Yunho" You snickered walking over to trap him against the countertop, your arms either side of him.

"You- That's kinda fair though. Yunho is a fine piece of ass. But what do you say?"

And just like that the words you never thought you'd hear from your previous best-friend left his lips

"You gonna be my girlfriend, L/N?"

"I might just, Song”

Happy Mingi Day xx

[enhypenwriters]

Missed this series!😍😍

𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐞

𝔼𝕟𝕙𝕪𝕡𝕖𝕟 𝕧𝕒𝕞𝕡𝕚𝕣𝕖 𝔸𝕌 𝕤𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤

They call him the ice prince, but to you, he was just the dorky best friend you had a crush on for years. Ice skating was definitely not your forte so when he invites you for a night out to skate at a lake nearby, you were hesitant to accept. Things were fine until an accident happened and you found yourself gasping for air in ice cold water and then being bitten by Sunghoon, whom you had no idea was a freaking vampire.

Pairing: Sunghoon X Fem! human to vampire Reader

Genre: fluff, a dash of angst, mutual pining, best friends to lovers trope

Warnings: mention of blood, food/ eating, death (the mc dies but not really) 

Word count: 10,903 words

Series masterlist

Author’s note: Again, it would be best to read Jungwon’s instalment first since there will be references to that. I know I promised to post this by the middle of May but it seems that my writer’s block was hitting me a lot harder than i thought. Apologies for any grammar or spelling mistakes!

Keep reading

[chilligyu]

info: lee jihoon/gender neutral reader, pg, best friends to lovers au genre: fluff, romance | word ct: 5.5k warnings: none summary: when it came to love, no one was prepared. not even jihoon, who could spend hours turning words into magic, especially when love was mysteriously delivered in the form of a letter to his locker. note: heavily inspired by to all the boys I've loved before, but with a twist! no love triangles or anything like that, so just enjoy awkward people falling in love! and thank you to @dreamystuffers and @starlightjoong for taking a sneak peek and telling me what you think!

tagging: @xfirebenderx, @moriiyun, @ohmygoshcheese, @gyu-log

Lee Jihoon, a genius in many ways, was never good when it came to words. At least, not the spoken kind. The kind that you had to think up on the spot, responses, answers, comebacks, small talk, he was absolutely terrible at it. But if you gave him the time to think, to really dwell on his thoughts, he could create something truly beautiful. Which was why he preferred to express his feelings with letters. And while, yes, he could pen something magnificent, the next great classic novel perhaps, he typically kept his messages short and to the point. Much like the man himself.

There was one time that he wrote a “letter” that was simply—

F U C K Y O U

—printed out on seven separate sheets of paper and taped to a row of lockers. All in response to a teacher confiscating his iPod. No one could prove it was him, though, and nothing happened in response to it. He never admitted to his crimes, and despite it being painfully obvious who the author of the message was, there was no hard proof pointing to the culprit. It became the most well-known secret at their high school. And Lee Jihoon became somewhat of a living legend because of it.

The only one who knew the truth was you. His best friend. You were his go-to when it came to proof reading all of his letters. He was the writer, you were the editor. Half the time you were also a berating parent, chastising him for trying to assault people with words. Which was also why, more often than not, his letters never got sent. He would sit in his room for hours, writing letters that were either half the length of novels or only a few sentences long, and after giving it over to be edited, it would get tucked away in his desk drawer. Never to be seen or heard from again.

See, Jihoon was an emotional person. Not in the sense that most people would assume, he didn’t get offended easily, one mean comment wouldn’t leave him crying, he was simply—emotional. Whatever he was feeling, whether it be good or bad, it was powerful, sometimes overwhelming. So instead of erupting like a hormonal volcano, which he had already done plenty of, he put his emotions to paper. At the behest of his aforementioned best friend.

“You can’t go around yelling at people.” You began one afternoon just after entering high school. “Even if you’re writing it down, you’re still yelling at people.”

Jihoon, the definition of “hard to read”, was visibly pouting. “You’re the one who told me to write down how I feel. Now I can’t even send these to anyone?”

“I mean, you can.” You backpedalled. “I’m not your mother, despite Seokmin’s insistence. I can’t stop you from doing anything you’ve set your heart to. All I can do is advise you not to because you’re going to have a terrible few years here if everyone hates you.”

He clearly wasn’t thrilled by your logical response, but he admitted defeat anyway. “Fine. Don’t send the letters that I write. I get it. No one wants to read them.”

You groaned loudly. “You are so dramatic. I’m saying don’t send the literal hate mail to people. Don’t send the stuff you write to vent out your feelings. But if there’s something you want to say to someone, something that you can’t bring yourself to say out loud, by all means! Send the thing! I know you loathe the idea of talking to people, you also hate being misunderstood more.”

He also hated how well you knew him, not that he would ever say that out loud.

That was also something he wrote down in a letter, one he decided to send.

You crumpled it up immediately and threw it back at his face.

“Letters are powerful things, Jihoon.” You added. “They can break hearts, mend souls, and change lives with nothing more than words. Because words mean so many different things to so many different people. You just gotta say the right ones.”

At first, he was only humoring you. Honestly, he thought you completely senile until he gave it a shot. After spending hours hunched over his desk writing things no one else would see, he was starting to realize that maybe you had a point. Instead of roaming the halls shouting obscenities in his head, he was able to reassure himself by knowing he could write about it later. Even the smallest grievance, he would write it down. He would sometimes scribble it down on the margin of a textbook if he was feeling particularly overwhelmed in the middle of the day.

The letters became his therapy, his outlet, eventually he could stroll past some annoying upperclassmen and not feel rage coursing through his veins. It was—nice, almost. Not being subjected to his own hectic imagination at every turn. Feeling at peace for the first time in what felt like ages.

Until he found a letter in his locker, one addressed to him during his senior year. From a secret admirer. The contents of which would be seared into his memory for the remainder of time.

Lee Jihoon, it began.

I have never been able to tell you how I feel, in person or in a letter. For several months now, I’ve tried. I’ve tried to write letters like you for so long, and I just can’t get the words right. I don’t know how you do it. So I’m going to do something different. I’m going to stop being scared. If you meet me in the courtyard after school, I’m going to be brave for the first time in my life. Please help me be brave, Jihoon.

Again and again, he read that short letter. Practically baffled that someone out there wrote an honest-to-god letter that was addressed to an honest-to-god person. And that he wasn’t the writer, that he was the recipient. The thought alone made his heart race, and to comprehend that this secret admirer perhaps harbored feelings towards him? It was next to impossible. But no one writes a letter without true emotion behind it. That’s a fact he was coming to understand.

“I need you to come with me.” He told you after showing you the letter. “I’m—I’m not sure I can do this alone.”

You rolled your eyes. “Jihoon, obviously this person doesn’t want to make a public event out of their confession. You should really do this without me.”

“I know, and I’m not asking you to stand at my side or anything.” He reiterated. “Can you like—stand in a bush or something? If I know that you’re there I won’t feel the need to—"

“Did you just ask me to stand in a bush?” You guffawed. “You did not just ask me to stand in a bush Lee Jihoon because if you did then you’re about to get your ass kicked into next year!”

“I didn’t mean literally!” He quickly denied when he did, in fact, mean it literally. “Just—stand around the corner, okay? Be my moral support!”

Pursing your lips, you knew that there was no getting out of this. “Alright, fine. I’ll come with you. But I’m not happy about it.”

“I’ll pay you back, I promise.” He swore. “Have I ever told you that you’re the best?”

A smirk teased at your lips. “You could mention it more.”

“Consider it done.” Jihoon grinned, gathering up his things and heading for the door. “Don’t forget! After school! Courtyard! Don’t be late!”

Once he was gone and you were completely alone, your face fell in disappointment. “I wouldn’t dream of it…”

By the time that school was finally over for the day, Jihoon was a bundle of overactive nerves. He was excited and terrified and anxious and nauseous all at once. The bombarding sensations kept him cemented in place, gripping the edge of his desk until his knuckles were about to burst through. He had been like that for the entirety of their last class, still as a statue as a cold sweat broke out across his brow. You were standing in front of him, head tilted and wondering what he was planning to do next.

“Class is over.” You reminded him. “Everyone’s left.”

Very slowly, he nodded. “Y-yeah. I can see that.”

His voice sounded as if it had been completely stripped down. Like he had screamed himself hoarse by saying those few words.

“Your secret admirer is probably waiting.” You tried to spur him. “We should get going before I change my mind and head home.”

He audibly swallowed past a lump in his throat. “Well—maybe that’s best. Yeah, I can wait until tomorrow.”

You eyed him incredulously. “You’re going to stay here until tomorrow. You’re insane, get up.”

“I’d rather not.”

“And I’d rather not grow old and die here.” You countered. “C’mon, Jihoon. Your admirer asked you to help them be brave, how exactly is this helping them?”

He had to admit, you had a point. If they were brave enough to put their feelings out there, he had to at least meet them half way.

Sighing loudly, he started to pry his fingers off his desk. “Alright, fine. We’ll do things your way.”

You rolled your eyes for perhaps the hundredth time. “You’re absolutely insufferable. Why do I hang out with you?”

“Because I’m funny.” He said with the most serious face in the world.

Which actually made you laugh.

“I hate you.” You chuckled. “C’mon, let’s get going while we’re still young.”

Jihoon inhaled and exhaled deeply to calm himself down.

This is just the beginning.

Except—it wasn’t.

He stood in the courtyard, seemingly alone, with the note that brought him there clutched tight in his hand. As his moral support you were keeping your distance, as promised, but no one else joined you. Minutes passed and he did his best to remain hopeful. It was hard, especially when a familiar voice nagged at the back of his mind. The same one he struggled with every day to ignore.

No one would ever like you, so why did you bother thinking otherwise?

While the negative thoughts slowly took over, Jihoon didn’t know what to do next. He was defeated, almost destroyed. And even though you walked up behind him and took his hand in yours, it did little to stop the bitter tears from welling in his eyes.

“I should’ve known…” He whispered angrily. “This was all just—a joke. It’s always a joke. Who could ever like me?”

“Stop it, Jihoon.” You hissed at him, squeezing his hand tighter. “They said they were scared, maybe they couldn’t follow through with it. Maybe they were afraid of being rejected. You never know what’s going through someone’s head. Don’t beat yourself up, okay?”

Nothing you said was going to make him feel better. He quickly wrenched himself from your grip and backed away from you.

“I’m going home.” He clipped. “Bye.”

Before he left, he made sure to crumple up the note and toss it at your feet. When his heart was broken, he wore it on his sleeve. You understood what Jihoon was feeling, he had been living with an extremely low self esteem due to his height and his general inability to make friends for as long as you knew him. He was quiet, shy, reserved, he was slow to open up to others and hesitant to trust. That’s why you tried to be excited for him, and now that things hadn’t gone as planned in more ways than one your heart ached just like his.

The next day, Jihoon strolled into class like a drunk zombie. By the looks of him, he hadn’t slept a wink. Too busy being destroyed by his own thoughts to bother with anything like sustenance or sleep. He took up his seat beside you, and you immediately shoved your desk into his.

“Still upset?” You asked, even though you already knew the answer.

Sluggishly he lifted his head up and then quickly dropped it back down.

It was worse than you thought.

“Are you going to talk to me today?” You teased in an attempt to get a reaction. “Or am I going to have to go bother Hansol?”

Grumbling slightly, the barely responsive mass that was your best friend raised his hand and dropped a crumpled wad of paper on your desk. At first, you assumed it was just another one of his letters. They weren’t uncommon when he was feeling—unwell.

But it was another note from his secret admirer.

You were startled because he didn’t usually stop at his locker in the morning.

Lee Jihoon, it started similarly.

I’m sorry for not showing up yesterday, I was scared. I couldn’t bring myself to face you, please don’t be mad at me. I’d like to keep writing you letters, if that’s okay. Let’s get to know each other and maybe one day I can be brave again.

Once you were finished reading, you immediately began analyzing Jihoon’s face again. You had never seen him look like this before, completely vacant. While he was hard to read to the entire world, he was always an open book to you. Now reading him was nearly impossible even with your expertise.

“What are you gonna do?”

He shrugged lazily. “I don’t know. Sit here for the rest of eternity. Wait for the soft embrace of death.”

“Jihoon.” You exasperated. “We both know you’re not actually going to do that.”

Except he actually might and you actually couldn’t take that chance.

“Are you going to write them a letter?” You tried, again. “Maybe that will work out better.”

“I already did.” He murmured. “I don’t think they want to read it though.”

“Jesus Christ…” You groaned loudly, taking Jihoon’s face in your hands and looking him dead in his lifeless eyes. “They still like you, they’re scared and human like the rest of us, it is not the end of the world! Give them another chance and stop being such a goddamn drama queen!”

Silence. Pure unadulterated and perfectly aggravating silence.

“Alright, you leave me no choice. I’m bringing out the big guns.”

Being careful to keep an eye on the teacher, you pulled out your phone and started texting Jihoon’s mother. According to your message, you and Jihoon were going to be studying late at the library, and he would probably need to spend the night at your house. Which wasn’t a complete lie, maybe you would get some studying done. But, in all honesty, you had other things in mind.

“Take your pick.” You instructed, a box set in each hand. “Descendants of the Sun, or Record of Youth.”

Immediately after school, you dragged your best friend to your house and sat him down in front of the TV. Your parents didn’t even question it when you told them this intervention was a matter of life and death, that the patient might need to be admitted for the night. They simply let you do what needed to be done.

Jihoon, who had been relatively catatonic for the past 24 hours, finally showed a glimmer of something. He gave the slightest suggestion of a nod towards Descendants of the Sun and you happily popped in the first disk. As you claimed a spot beside him, popcorn and banana milk in tow, he naturally relaxed against you. You were the only person who got to see him unguarded like that, the only person he himself would allow. And while he was typically someone who kept his true self hidden from the world, there was a part of him that would forever belong only to you.

“Thanks.” He practically whispered, resting his head on your shoulder. “I—I needed this.”

“I know.” You smiled. “Are you ready to talk yet?”

He sighed heavily. “No. Not really. I still have a lot of thinking to do.”

“Well, if you need help thinking you know where I’ll be.” You offered without wanting to seem pushy.

If you weren’t mistaken, you could’ve sworn he actually chuckled.

“Yeah. I do.”

Little by little, your best friend was slowly returning to normal—or as close to normal as you’ve ever seen him. Eventually he started getting sucked into the drama, going rigid when things got tense, and actively pretended he wasn’t crying whenever You Are My Everything played. It was, overall, a job well done. You could sleep easy knowing that Jihoon would be just fine. As you drifted off, you felt him hold your hand and squeeze it gently.

Everything was going to be okay.

And if only to prove that point, the next day was nothing like the one before. Jihoon was back to his old self as if nothing had happened at all. Just another Thursday without a word or whisper about the chaotic tornado his secret admirer had unleashed onto your day-to-day life. He even had a letter for you to read by the time lunch rolled around. Apparently, some freshman irritated him over something seemingly small. At least—to you it seemed barely worth mentioning. But nothing ever really felt small to Jihoon. It was all or nothing, always living in black and white. Which meant that almost everything was important to him in some way. So you read the letter, and you edited it gladly.

Once you were done, he had something else for you. Another note from the admirer.

“This is the third one, right?” You murmured, glancing it over once before looking up at him. “Have you written back yet? Besides the one where I assumed you insulted their very existence with your entire arsenal of hurtful words.”

The blush crawling up his neck was an answer in and of itself, but the thick stack of paper he pulled out of his backpack solidified it.

“I’ve tried a few times.” He admitted hesitantly. “Nothing I write is good enough.”

“Oh, only a few times?” You teased, knowing full well that Jihoon’s definition of a few was the same as calling Jane Eyre a short shopping list. “What’s got you so stuck? Usually you have no issues penning essays over trivial things like cracks in the sidewalk.”

His brow furrowed defiantly. “Hey, proper sidewalk and road maintenance is important to modern infrastructure. If we start overlooking cracks in the pavement, then what? What about traffic lights? Can we afford to allow a single bulb to go out? No, of course not. That’s anarchy.”

You couldn’t believe your ears.

“Jihoon…” You started with an exasperated look. “I was joking.”

Trying to hide the fact that his blush was turning a deep crimson, and failing quite miserably, he pulled a paper from the stack and put it back in his bag. Also something he tried, and failed, to hide from you.

“Are you kidding me!” You laughed, raking a hand down your face. “Did you seriously have a letter in that pile you were going to send to our congressman?”

“No—yes—ugh!” He groaned. “Can we forget about the stupid sidewalk for a second! That’s not important right now! Help me! How do I do this?”

Deciding you had teased your best friend enough, you placed your chin in your hand and smiled at him. “How do you do what, exactly? I’ve never had anything to do with the letters you write, I just read them so someone knows how you’re feeling.”

Who were you kidding, you could never tease Jihoon enough.

He rolled his eyes so hard that he rolled his whole head with them. “Like you’ve ever needed further insight into my head, you always know what I’m thinking before I do.”

True.

“But I don’t understand the first thing about—this.” He finished with a labored sigh, gesturing sharply to the handwritten novel in front of him. “You know that better than anyone.”

Again, he was telling the truth. In the years you had known Jihoon he had never developed serious feelings towards someone else. He had barely entertained the notion since entering high school. He always talked himself out of it because feelings were complicated and bothersome. Plus, he was terrified of being rejected. Like most people are. His intrusive thoughts just so happened to be louder than most.

“I hate to break it to you, Jihoon,” You started in a whisper, “no one knows the first thing about this. Not even me. The only person who can help you is yourself.”

His sour expression made it obvious that he obviously didn’t like your response. “Great. Super helpful. Thank you for your continued wisdom.”

When he moved away from you, you grabbed him by the sweater and pulled him back in. “Why do you always stop listening to me when I’m about to make my point?”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “Because it takes you forever to fucking get there.”

“Alright, you got me there.” You chuckled. “Listen, I’m not kidding when I say that you’ve got to do this one on your own. As much as I can usually sense what feelings are doing somersaults in your stomach, this is a first for you and therefore a first for me. I’ve never seen you like this before, so unfortunately you’ve got to discover this one on your own.”

As you spoke, his features slowly softened until all that remained was a very nervous teenager who didn’t want to screw up his first real chance at love. That’s all Jihoon was at his core, that’s all anyone was.

But you had to admit he almost looked kind of cute.

Almost.

“How do you always know what to say?” He grumbled while crossing his arms. “It’s annoying.”

“You’ve got a really weird way of saying thank you.” You smirked playfully. “Well, maybe this last nugget of advice will get you started in the right direction.”

“Why are you always—” He seethed through his teeth. “How are you still not at whatever your point is!”

You shrugged, because you honestly had no clue. “I'll get there when I get there. You want to hear it or not—”

“Spit. It. Out.”

“Now is that anyway to—”

Wow. You stopped, suddenly fearing for your measly life. If looks could kill—

“Alright, alright, you win.” You conceded. “If you’re having issues writing a letter to your secret admirer, here’s my advice. Stop trying to put words to your feelings and start putting feelings into words. You’re spending too much time trying to say it perfectly that you’re not saying it at all. It doesn’t need to make sense to anyone else, it doesn’t even need to make sense to you. So long as you put them out into the world, they’ll be heard and one day they’ll be understood. You get me?”

The look on his face was—strange. You had a hard time placing it, which should’ve been weirder than it was. In fact, you were seeing lots of different sides to Jihoon lately, sides you never thought existed. This time his eyes widened, the aforementioned scarlet blush had disappeared, and there was a radiance to him that you had never seen before. Like suddenly he could see clearly through the storm of his thoughts.

“Thank you.” He exhaled with a smile. “I’ve never thought about it like that before.”

Feeling triumphant, you wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “I’m starting to wonder what you’d do without me, Jihoon. Three days and you’ve been completely undone and redone by this letter.”

“Letters are powerful things.” He muttered. “They can break hearts, mend souls, and change lives. You taught me that.”

“I guess I’m a pretty good teacher.” You boasted, giving him a squeeze. “Despite the fact that I’m actually quite terrible with words.”

He shrugged off your arm. “Except you always know what to say, how exactly does that work?”

“Just because I can make you see reason doesn’t mean I’m good with words.” You laughed easily. “That simply means that I’ve perfected the art of understanding the impossible. Lee Jihoon. I can’t use words like you do. Trust me I’ve tried, I can never get the words right.”

For a moment, he didn’t have any sort of response. Which was definitely weird. It was a well-known fact that he was terrible with the sorts of words he had to speak, but he didn’t have issues when talking to you. That’s because you were friends, best friends. There had never been this sort of unnerving silence before. Not that you could remember, anyway.

What is going on in your head, Jihoon? You found yourself wondering since you couldn’t read his face. Have you started to figure it out?

“Sorry, I was thinking.” He muttered suddenly, shaking his head. “But I know what I need to write now. Will you read this one too? Even if it gets pretty long?”

“Of course!” You exclaimed with a smile. “When have I ever shied away from a challenge?”

The soft glisten in his eyes made your heart flutter.

“Never.”

When the bell rang and you parted ways, you wondered if Jihoon had ever written you a letter.

Well there’s a first time for everything.

For the next week, he was in full writer mode. And there were no more notes from his secret admirer, not that you expected there to be any. Every chance he got he was scribbling something down on whatever surface he could get his hands on. Textbooks, paper, his arm, he was more inspired than you’d ever seen before and nothing was going to stop him. He didn’t even come over to your house over the weekend, a ritual you hadn’t broken in the ten plus years you had known each other. It was a lonely week, for sure, but you knew it was for a good cause.

Then, after what felt like an eternity of silence, he approached you in the courtyard with a single sheet of paper in his hand.

“Hey…” He started uneasily, his grip tightening. “How’re you?”

Seriously? You mused to yourself with a smile. “I’m good, how’s the writing?”

“Done.” He clipped. “And—I think I covered everything.”

“Are you sure?” You asked, eyeing the sheet of paper. “With all of that writing I thought you’d have a novel for me.”

He shook his head, while a blush crawled up his neck. “Sometimes being concise is more effective than being overly wordy.”

“That’s true.” You grinned. “Easier for me to edit anyway.”

Nodding, he shoved the paper into your hand. “Here. Take your time, I don’t want you to rush it.”

“I won’t.” You promised, resisting the urge to start reading right away. “I know you put a lot of thought into this.”

With that, he turned around and walked off without another word. Leaving you holding something that looked like little more than pen ink on paper, but felt like a confession on fire. Once he was out of eyesight, you exhaled a breath you had been holding unintentionally and started reading.

To the person I have never loved before. It began, and you weren’t prepared for the roller coaster you had willingly climbed into.

This isn’t for the person I’ve loved all along, no. This is for you, someone who managed to stir my emotions more than a raging monsoon with only a few words and the hint of a promise. Who are you? I wondered to myself, because you were without equal. How could I have missed you? You were extraordinary. You didn’t have a face, all I had of you was a letter slipped into my locker, you were a ghost and I was set ablaze by your words. I had never felt like that before, my heart was unprepared. As was I. You made me question everything, and made me realize things I had never seen before.

What I felt for you wasn’t love, even though I thought it was at first. You presented me with feelings I decided I would never feel, so I could only assume that it was love. I felt like a live wire, ready to spark at a moment's notice. All I could think about was you. The infinite options and scenarios I dreamt up, all because of you, was astronomical. It was exhilarating, and I found myself drunk on the endless possibilities that you presented me. What else could make me feel that way, if it wasn’t love?

The answer was one I didn’t expect, and it hit me like a tsunami. I started to feel that way towards someone I already know. Someone who has cared for me more than anyone should, they have been my best friend for years so how could I suddenly feel the same way? How could my friendship for them become intertwined with the love I thought was solely reserved for you? And how could I have missed it after being enveloped by their warmth for so long?

You changed all of that. You made me see clearly for the first time in years and I was completely undone. Everything I knew was suddenly challenged, my feelings towards the most important person in my life changed without any warning, and I didn’t know what to do. How could I ask them, a friend, to see me as anything more? I was lost, trapped in an endless loop of destructive thoughts and desire. Desperately wanting to scream my feelings from the rooftop while fearing the voice that would have to put words to them. Your feelings for me awakened my feelings for them, and suddenly the words that have given me comfort for so long escaped me.

Still, you helped me.

In ways I can only thank with this letter.

You helped me because you are the one who told me to start writing letters. It’s always been you. You are the one who has given my thoughts meaning when I struggled to communicate with the world. One that could never understand someone like me. You are the one who wrote me a letter, asking a coward to help you be brave. It took me a while to realize that you were one and the same, but I picked up on the hints you left behind. I’m sorry it took me this long to figure it out.

Would you have showed up had I not asked you to come with me? I think about that often, were you only afraid because my initial thought was that there was no way it could be you? The impossible notion that my best friend could love me anymore than they already do? I have a thousand more questions I want to ask you, but I think I’m brave enough now to ask you in person.

So I’m going to end this letter here, because you deserve so much more than the words I’ve hidden behind for years. A letter I started to write for someone I thought I didn’t know, to the person I’ve never loved before. Funny, how it ended up being a letter to the person I’ve loved all along.

As you read the last line, tears already streaming down your face, you had never felt happier.

“You figured it out.” You whispered, almost in disbelief. “For a second there I thought you never would.”

You don’t know when Jihoon came back, but he was suddenly standing in front of you taking your hand in his. “It really shouldn’t have taken me that long, I’ve only seen your handwriting a thousand times before.”

Laughter bubbled past your lips as you dried your tears with your sleeve. “I was terrified that you would’ve figured me out from the very beginning. Looks like I really give you too much credit sometimes.”

“You do.” He agreed. “So, what did you think of the letter? Any edits you can think of?”

“This isn’t the type of letter that needs editing.” You stated plainly. “It would take away from the author’s meaning.”

“What would that be?” He asked, clearly teasing you. “Enlighten me.”

You shook your head defiantly. “No, no way. It’s your letter, why don’t you tell me what it’s supposed to mean?”

Part of him didn’t want to make it easy, that much you knew with absolute certainty. But, for the sake of time and your poor heart, he would let you off the hook. Just this once.

“That I love you.” He said softly. “More than anything else.”

Choking out a sob, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in close.

“I love you too, Jihoon.”

In the end, neither of you were good with words, but you only needed to know what to say to each other.

[enhypenwriters]

It All Started With A Bang

☆Pairing: Niki X Reader

☆Genre: Fluff, Lil Angst

☆Warnings: Minor injury..?

☆Synopsis: What happens when you finally interact with your long time crush?

☆Word Count: 3.8k

By Admin Anna🦦

——————

How to do describe Niki? Perfection? God’s work? Talented? All of the above was your answer. You had never talked to him. You always wanted to start a conversation, but were too shy. This is the guy you had been crushing for a year and a half now. Niki and his friends were know for their looks and dancing skills. He was friends with a lot of older boys who were in the dance team with him. You on the other hand weren’t very popular. You had friends, but didn’t run with the “popular” crew. You had the blessing of seeing Niki a few times a day, as you guys were locker buddies.

-

The last bell of the day finally rang. You had a sigh of relief. You walked to your locker and saw your friend, Lena. “Hey Y/N!” You smiled in response. “So...what are doing after school today?” “Umm....I gotta do my homework.” You said as you put your things away. “Come on...you need to have fun in life and live a little.” You closed your locker and looked her, “I also want to finish school.” You teased.

Looking at Lena and not in front of you, you ran in to the locker door next you. It made a bang sound that silenced the crowed hallway. “Owww...” you groaned rubbing your nose. “Are you okay?” Lena worried. “Oh my gosh! Are you okay?” You heard a voice in front of you say. You opened your eyes and saw Niki himself. You froze, “Uhhh...” was all that came out. Niki kept staring at you, “Hello?” He waved his hand. You snapped to back reality. You looked at Lena and bolted down the hallway. “Y/N WAIT!”

-

Niki just stood there. He turned around and saw Jungwon and Sunghoon walking up to him. “Why is everyone staring at you?” Sunghoon asked. “I accidentally hit Y/N with my locker door and when I asked if she was okay...she ran away...?” Jungwon raised an eyebrow “What...? Why would you hit her?” “It’s not like I did it on purpose!”

-

Once you were out of the school gates you dropped to the floor. “Oh my gosh....that was so embarrassing.” Lena snickered. She had known about your crush on Niki for while. “Well you interacted with him.” Lena teased. “It’s better than your usual of just staring from afar.” You glared at her, “Let’s go.”

-

You woke up the loud sound of your phone alarm. You groaned. After the incident with Niki you never wanted to show your face in school again. You stumbled to the bathroom. You brother came out just as you walked in. “Why is you face uglier than usual?” He said walking past you. You were used to comments like that so you just ignored him, until you saw yourself in the mirror. You had a red bump the bridge of your nose. You sighed and decided to put a bandaid over hoping it would conceal it a little bit.

When you got to school, you and your brother parted ways. You two had one rule: at school you don’t know each other. As you walked you hoped you wouldn’t see Niki. You successfully made it to class. You sat down next to Lena. “Hey Y/N!” She chirped. “Is your nose okay?” You nodded. “Are you okay?” You put your head down, “No....” you muttered “I’m beyond mortified....I mean who runs into a locker and then runs away?” “You do.” She replied. You and Lena had a very playful friendship. You had known her since you were eight. You knew she never meant any harm in her teasing.

“Hey, did you hear for gym we have another class joining us.” She said changing the subject. You shook your head, “Why?” “Mr. J is absent today.” You hummed in response and let roll off your back.

-

You and Lena had all but two class together. Luckily gym was one you had with her. Which was good because she could safe you from embarrassing yourself. You two walked out of the locker room and into the gymnasium. When you walked in you saw the class that was joining yours. You saw Niki among the other people. You stopped and walked right back out. “Y/N?” Lena followed you. “What’s wrong?” “Niki’s in Mr. J’s class!” She looked back in and looked back at you, “You’ll be fine. Just try to avoid him.” She linked your arms together and dragged you back in.

Ms. K blew her whistle behind the class. “Alright class, as you can see today we have Mr. J’s class with us. Today we will be doing laps on the track. Once you complete ten, you may walk around or go play basketball.”

To your luck Niki hadn’t noticed you yet. When you arrive at the track everyone gathered at the starting line. When Ms. K blew her whistle everyone started.

You and Lena were on your tenth lap when Niki saw you and called your name. You looked at Lena with a panicked face. “Just run!” You whispered to her. As you ran faster. Niki stopped and just stood there confused.

-

“Yo! Niki over here.” Jake called out in the cafeteria. Even though his closest friends were in other grades, he still got to see them at lunch and during Dance Club. He sat down next to Sunoo. “So what new bro?” Jay asked. “Well, yesterday I hit Y/N with my locker door an-...” “I remember and then Y/N ran away!” Jungwon interrupted him with his mouth full. “Jungwon, close your mouth!” Heeseung scolded.

Niki rolled his eyes, “Anyways...I hit her and she ran away. Then when I saw her in gym today and she ran away again, and I know she saw me.” “Maybe you’re just repulsive” Sunoo shrugged. Niki shoved him off the seat. “Niki, next time you see her, just try and apologize.” Jake said, stuffing some food in his mouth. “Dude look, now’s you’re chance.” Sunghoon said pointing to you across the cafeteria.

-

“I am starving.” You sang as you sat down at a table with Lena. As you started eating another one of your friends sat down across from you. “Hey guys!” Lily said. “Y/N....what happened to your nose?” Lena started to laugh. You gave her a look, “I ran into Niki’s locker yesterday...” Lily stared at you, “Niki..? As in the guy you’ve been crushing for over a year?” You looked down and nodded. “Well that’s one way to talk to him.” “That’s what I said!” Lena exclaimed. Lena nudged you, “Don’t look, but Niki twelve o’clock.” Lily instantly turned around. “Lily, I just said don’t look.”

You saw Niki coming over. How could one person be so pretty? You didn’t want to face him, “I’m gonna go...” You whispered. You slid your tray to Lily and got up and scurried away. “Hey what about-...ohh free food.” Lily said.

-

Does she have something against me? Niki thought. Did I do something to offend her? What you didn’t know was, Niki has actually been crushing on you as well. It started at during the middle of last year when he noticed that you came to all the of the Dance Club’s performances. He thought of you as his good luck charm. Before every show, he would secretly look at the audience and when he saw you there, his nerves calmed. Then when he saw you were his locker buddy this year he was even more excited. Niki always wanted to talk to you but neither of you had the same classes and he was kind of scared. You were like a goddess to him. So beautiful, so kind, and untouchable.

-

When the last bell rang, you rushed to your locker hoping to not run into him. As you were gathering your stuff, you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned around and saw exactly who you didn’t want to see. “Hi Y/N.” Niki said shyly. “Umm...I just wanted to apologize for yesterday...I-...is that a bandaid?” Niki covered his mouth. “Did I hit you that hard..? Oh my gosh...I’m so sorry.” “Niki, I’m fine. You don’t need to apologize it’s my fault. I mean who runs into locker? Me...” You chuckled trying make him feel more at ease. Niki smiled, “Umm...so...you don’t have to say yes but...uhh...I really want to try and make it up to you and...I was uhh...wondering if you wanted to get dinner..? My treat.” You were stunned. Were you dreaming? Did Niki just ask you to hang out? “You don’t have to..” “I would love to” You said smiling. “Really?!? Wow...I didn’t expect you to say yes. I have Dance Club practice until 4:30. You’re welcome to come watch.” “Yeah, are you sure I’m not intruding?” You asked. “Nah, it’ll be more fun.”

-

As You and Niki walked into the the Music Room, his friends started giggling. “Heeyyy Niki, who’d you bring mmmm? Sunoo teased. Niki rolled his eyes. He took you’re hand and led you forward. “Y/N, this is Jay, Heeseung, Jake, Sunoo, Jungwon, and Sunghoon.” “Hi, I’m Y/N. I actually know who all of you are...I mean who doesn’t. But wow....you guys are much cuter up close.” You eyes widened, “Did I just say that all out loud...?”

Sunoo walked over to you and put his arm around your shoulders. “Y/N I like you already, I love anyone who acknowledges my beauty!” You laughed. What you didn’t see was Niki sending daggers at Sunoo. The boys thought it was adorable to see their little Niki getting jealous.

Watching them practice was so cool. Who knew people could be so talented. You danced with two left feet. You eyes always went back to Niki. He looked so focused and so passionate. He danced as if his life depended on it.

-

When practice was over Niki walked over to you and said, “We’re done for the day. Are you ready to go?” You nodded in response. “Sooo where are our two love birds going?” Heeseung teased. The other guys turned around and smirked. “We’re not love birds and I’m just making up for hitting her.” “Right, but you never know where love takes you, hehehe.” Niki took his towel threw it at Jay. He took your hand and left.

“So what are you in the mood for?” You asked. Niki put his hand on his chin, “Hmmm, what about fried chicken?” “I’m down.” “Great! I know this great place next to my old dance studio.” Niki said excitedly.

-

The walk over was full of awkwardness. You wanted to talk to him but you didn’t know what to say. Also, how could he look so handsome in the sunlight? Walking into the restaurant, you were engulfed in a warming smell. A older lady came rushing over and hugged Niki. “My Niki! You’re back! I’ve missed you!” “Hi May!” She looked over at you and smiled, “Who is this young lady?” “I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.” You put your hand out to shake, but she pulled you in for a hug. “I don’t do shakes, I do hugs.” May had such a sweet warm energy to her. She felt like a grandmother.

“So Niki, is this your girlfriend?” She asked. Niki shook his head, “No she’s just my friend.” You blushed. Niki said you were friends. “Well I’m going to get your usual, but don’t let this one go! She’s a beauty!” She patted your check and went to the back. You and Niki sat down at a table. “Sorry about her.” He said rubbing is neck. “It’s okay, she’s sweet.” “But she is right....you are a beautiful.” You felt like your heard was gonna beat out of your chest. Niki just called you beautiful. Was he flirting? You’re mind was going all over the place.

-

Over the next few weeks You and Niki got a lot closer. He would wait at his locker for you before school and then walk you to class. You guys would walk home together and when you could you would go to his dance practices.

“So, I’ve noticed You and Niki have become besties.” Lena said as she sat down next to you in the court yard. “Yeah, I guess.” “I guess? You mean yes. You are almost attached at the hip.” You rolled your eyes at her exaggeration. “Are hoping he’ll ask you to the Valentines Dance?” You looked at her, “Oh my gosh...I completely forgot about that. When is it?” “This Friday. Why don’t you ask him?” “Nah, I don’t think he likes me that way.” You sighed. “Are you serious? Anyone with eyes can see he likes you that way.”

When school was over, You started thinking. Maybe you could ask him? That wouldn’t be weird right? You could just go as friends. Or does he like you? As you walked out of the school doors, you saw Niki and another girl talking. You started to head over but stopped when you heard the girl say, “Niki, I really like you and I to ask do you wanna go to the Valentines Dance with me?” Well there went you chances of asking him. “I’m sorry, but I already have someone I like and I’m gonna ask them.” Niki replied. The girl looked down, “Okay, I understand.” “But I hope you find someone to go with.” He said walking away.

Niki liked someone, you thought. You felt this pain in your heart. He was allowed to like someone. You can’t stop him you told yourself. It just hurts.

-

The next day at lunch, Niki came over. “Hey guys. Y/N can I talk you for a second?” You looked over at Lily and Lena. Lena rubbed you back and whispered, “Just see what he has to say.” After you went home yesterday you called them up and told them what happened. Lily tried you cheer you up and saying maybe you’re the one he likes, but you told her you highly doubt that.

“Want do you want to talk about?” You asked as you walked into the hallway. “Umm...I wanted to know if you were going to the dance on Friday?” You remembered what he said yesterday. You didn’t want to go because it would hurt to see him with another girl. “Probably not.” You said. “Oh okay. Are you coming to watch practice today?” “No, I have a thing today, bye.” Niki was taken back at your bluntness. As he watched you walk away he noticed you seemed really upset.

Over the next two days you tried your best to keep a distance between you and Niki. You would rush out of school earlier instead of waiting to walk home with him. You stopped texting him and when you saw him in the hallway you would walk the other way. It hurt you to avoid him but you didn’t want to deepen your crush when you knew he liked someone else. Whoever they are, they’re very lucky, you thought.

-

Friday afternoon Lena and Lily came over to your house to get ready for the dance that evening. “Y/N, please come tonight.” Lily pleaded. “Please come! I got a ticket and brought you a dress. You can’t miss this. Don’t mind Niki. We’ll have fun, just us three.” Lena said giving you puppy eyes. You thought for a minute and smiled, “Alright.” The girls cheered and hugged you. “Let’s do this!” Lena said holding up her curling iron.

You wore a light pink lace dress with spaghetti straps. It fell just above your knee. Your shoes were a rose gold heel. Lena curled your hair and did a half up half down down hairstyle. Lily did very light makeup, with pink eyeshadow to match the dress.

Lily’s Dad dropped you guys off at the school. You walked to the gym with a knot in your stomach. You felt guilty about blowing Niki off the past few days. You decided whoever he’s with, you should be happy for him. Looking around for a minute you finally spotted him. Seriously how could he look so good in a tux. His hair was styled to where his forehead was showing and wow...he look...wow. You wanted to go talk to him but you were worried he wouldn’t want to talk you anymore. Honestly you could see why.

“Y/N come one let’s dance!” Lily said as she pulled onto the dance floor. You tried to let lose and dance but your mind kept wondering to Niki. You kept stealing glaces at him. He seemed to be having a good time, but you didn’t see him with anyone yet, just his usual friends. A few times you caught him looking at you as well.

After dancing for a bit you decided to take break and get a drink. You saw a girl walking over to Niki. Maybe that was his date? You tried to non suspiciously walk over. “Hi Niki.” Niki smiled in response. She tucked her hair behind her ears. “I saw you’re here alone...do you wanna dance?” “Thank you, but I’m okay. Enjoy your night though.” He walked back to his friends table. The girl sighed. Her friends came over to her, “Don’t feel bad, we heard he said no to all the girls who asked him to dance tonight.” That made you feel a little better, but who did he want to ask?

-

“Niki who do you keep looking for?” Sunghoon asked. “Who do you think? Y/N.” Jay said sarcastically. “Look there she is.” Sunoo joked. Niki’s head whipped around, “Where?” “I’m just kidding.” Sunoo laughed. “Haha...” Niki said sarcastically. “I just don’t know why she stopped talking to me, I thought we were going somewhere.” He said sadly. Jungwon patted his friend shoulder in sympathy, “Try talking her to night.” “No, she’ll probably just ignore me again.” He still kept looking for you. He spotted you come in a little bit later. You look unreal to him. How could one person hold so much beauty. The way you’re hair framed your face and your dress perfectly complemented your body.

You looked like you were having so much fun without him. He tried dancing but he kept focusing on you. When he could he tried to look at you without being too obvious. A lot of girls tried asking him to dance but he rejected them all. He didn’t want any girl, he wanted you.

“Niki” Jake said, “if you’re not gonna talk to Y/N, I’m going to matters into my own hands.” Niki thought for a second. “Okay, I will.” Jake decided walking away. “I didn’t say-..” Niki started but Jake was already at your table.

-

You sat down at an empty table and eventually Lena and Lily joined you. “Whew! That was exhausting.” Lena said flopping down. “Can I have some of you’re drink?” Lily asked as she took it and finished it. “Why ask if you’re gonna take it?” You laughed. “Alright everyone,” the DJ spoke into the mic, “We’re gonna slow things down. Grab your date and get on the dance floor.” “At My Worst” by Pink Sweat$ featuring Kehlani started playing. Lily sighed, “I think we forgot to get dates.” “Hey we don’t need a date, we can dance with each other.” Lena stood up. “May have this dance?” She said holding out her hands to you two. “Actually it looks like Y/N has someone coming over.” Lily pointed to Jake. “Hi ladies, Y/N can I have a dance with you?” The girls pushed you forward, “Yes she will.” They said in unison.

Jake took your hand and lead you to the dance floor. He put his hands on your waist and you put your hands on his shoulders. “So why’d you ask me to dance?” You said raising your eyebrows. “I wanted to talk to you.” He said. “About what?” “Why did you stop talking to Niki?” You sighed, “Honestly?” Jake nodded. “Because I’m selfish.” Jake gave you a confused expression. “On Monday...” You continued, “I heard him talking to a girl and she asked him to the dance and he rejected her and said he already had someone he liked and wanted to go with.” Jake grinned, “That’s all?” “Yeah” You said quietly. “Go talk to him, you’ll be surprised.” Jake said gently. “But I don’t think-...” Jake put his finger on your lips, “Shhhhh, just go.”

-

You gathered up all the courage and went over. Heeseung spotted you coming over and tapped Niki. He looked at you and hesitated, but he came over. “Hi.” You said. He had a stone look on his face. “I’m sorry Niki.” You looked at the floor. “Why? Why did you stop talking to me?” He asked. “Because I was being selfish. On Monday I heard you talking to the girl who asked you to the dance and I heard you say that you liked someone and it hurt me....” you fiddle with your fingers, “it hurt me because I like you and I didn’t like the idea of you being with someone else. I was only think about my feelings and I’m truly sorry. Whoever you like, I’ll like them too. I want you to be happy.” You looked back at Niki and saw him smiling. He stepped towards you and took your hands, “Thank you. I’m glad you want me to be happy. But you wanna know something?” You nodded. “You’re the one I like. You’re the one I wanted to ask.” You stared at him. Your brain was trying to process this information. Did Niki just confess to you? Did you just confess to him? “Y/N, will you go the dance with me?” You blushed and smiled, “I would love too.” You pulled him in for a hug. Niki whispered in your ear, “You look stunningly by the way.”

As you came apart, “Beautiful” by Bazzi with Camila Cabello started playing. “May I have this dance?” You took his hand and headed to the dance floor. Niki put one hand on your back and held your hand in the other. You rested you head in his shoulder. You felt as if it was just the two of you on floor. The rest of the world faded away. As the song ended you looked at each other. Niki slowly came close. He put his hand on your check and held you as if you were a porcelain doll. You could feel his breath on your lips. “Can I kiss you?” He asked softly. “You don’t even need to ask.” You whispered. His lips were gentle, soft, and sweet. When you pulled away Niki smiled, “Y/N, do you wanna know secret?” “What?” “I’ve actually liked you since last year.” You felt like your heart was gonna explode. “Do you wanna know a secret too?” You asked. “I’ve liked you last year.” Niki looked at you shock. You giggled. The night was filled with love and laughter. Niki was the best Valentine ever.

[qobiin]

our whisperings in sunlit rooms

pairing: wangxian

genre: smut, fluff | post-canon compliant 

warnings: pwp, explicit sexual content, anal sex, barebacking, soft early morning sex

a/n: happy early birthday to the foxxian to my dragonji @portscutie​​! i love you. this is also for other bottom!lwj enthusiasts too (:

word count: 2639

summary: Lan Wangji wakes in the early light of dawn with his head sheltered on his husband’s chest.

Lan Wangji wakes in the early light of dawn with his head sheltered on his husband’s chest. Neither of them is dressed and so the teeth marks and mouth-shaped bruises on Wei Wuxian’s collarbone are clear enough to see this close.

Their sheets are sticky with the remnants of their usual nightly activities, especially since Lan Wangji managed to make Wei Wuxian come twice before they fell asleep. Usually, Lan Wangji would already be taking steps to change the sheets while his husband continues to sleep. However, he resigns himself to lying on their dirty sheets a while longer when he realizes Wei Wuxian is already awake.

They have been together long enough for Lan Wangji to know Wei Wuxian is only up this early in the morning for one of three reasons. He has either had a nightmare, never went to bed in the first place, or he is planning to pin Lan Wangji to their bed and gently make love to him.

Wei Wuxian’s eyes are cloudy with the last vestiges of sleep and not bright with fear, so he must be awake for the second reason. In any case, Lan Wangji is already anticipating the early post-orgasm bliss he knows is sure to come.

“Good morning, dear husband of mine,” Wei Wuxian whispers to him when their gazes meet.

“Husband,” Lan Wangji murmurs, blinking the last of his own drowsiness away.

Wei Wuxian smiles, as bright and as gentle as he has come to smile at Lan Wangji since returning to this world in a new body. It has been years and still, Lan Wangji never tires of the thrill he feels being able to say that word in relation to Wei Wuxian, his husband who he loves more than life itself.

Lan Wangji leans into Wei Wuxian’s touch, eyes fluttering closed as his husband begins to card his fingers through his hair. It is still early, even for Lan Wangji who has always woken with the sun and will continue to do so for every night that he sleeps beside Wei Wuxian. The Jingshi is mostly dark and cool but already, Lan Zhan can see the slants of sunlight growing bigger and brighter as time crawls forward. 

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian hums into the crown of his head. “Lan Zhan.”

“Mn,” Lan Wangji says in response.

Wei Wuxian kisses his hair and flattens his free hand to the small of Lan Wangji’s back. He grounds his hips upward the moment their bodies are pressed tightly together. Lan Wangji’s next exhale is shaky, the arousal he had been ignoring up until this moment now welcomed. It is difficult not to respond to his husband’s emotions, whatever they may be at the time, but this is one feeling Lan Wangji will never come to dislike.

Tilting his head up, Lan Wangji rolls his hips slowly. Wei Wuxian understands his silent plea and leans down to press their lips together while they move as one. Neither of their morning breaths is arguably pleasant, but Lan Wangji will not complain. Lan Wangji will never complain about getting to hold the man he loves most in this world, not after he spent thirteen years mourning him and raising the son he left behind.

There was once a time when Lan Wangji lied in this exact same bed, his back lashed open for the entire world to see how his body and soul wept for Wei Wuxian. He had wanted nothing more than for his soulmate to return to him and now that he has, Lan Wangji does not intend to squander this gift from the very heavens themselves. 

Wei Wuxian’s hand wrapping around them both brings Lan Wangji out of the depressive thoughts he has done his best to bury. His husband’s kiss is more teeth than tongue, but Lan Wangji finds himself relaxing even further into the bed despite that. He tenses when Wei Wuxian squeezes them both though, moving his hand up and down their shafts slowly. Lan Wangji is certain he won’t last as long as he would like to, so he reaches down to his right until he finds the oil he discarded by the bed last night. 

When he holds it up, Wei Wuxian makes a pleased humming sound in the back of his throat that makes Lan Wangji shiver in response. The hand his husband had wrapped around them moves to grab the oil and Lan Wangji settles back on the sheets, spreading his knees apart as Wei Wuxian sits up. Their eyes meet after Wei Wuxian has dipped his fingers into the oil, a silent question hanging in the air between them. Lan Wangji nods, feeling soft as Wei Wuxian beams at him.

“Lan Zhan, your husband will do all the work,” Wei Wuxian declares as he blows on his oil-covered fingers. “All you have to do is lie back and relax.”

Lan Wangji hums, reaching out to grab Wei Wuxian’s nape. “Wei Ying.”

Wei Wuxian smiles as he is dragged down to give Lan Wangji another kiss, his fingers now hovering in the space between Lan Wangji’s thighs. Lan Wangji bends his knees and spreads his legs further apart, squeezing the back of Wei Wuxian’s neck only once before he releases him.

He feels himself twitch when his husband trails his fingers down his perineum before he begins to circle his rim. Wei Wuxian watches him, his gaze hungry and Lan Wangji does not look away from the silver of his husband’s eyes, focused only on keeping himself calm and loose. Wei Wuxian’s finger breaches him up to the first knuckle before Lan Wangji actually feels it, surprised at how quickly his body has tensed up.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian inquires, brow furrowed as he studies him.

Lan Wangji shakes his head and grips Wei Wuxian’s shoulder, silently urging him to stay put. He only needs a moment to adjust and then he’ll be fine. Already he can feel the flaming coil of arousal that has been building up in his groin distract him with the thought of having his husband inside him soon. He wants this, he is sure of that without a doubt and he is relieved when Wei Wuxian leans down to kiss his forehead. His husband has obviously read his silent message correctly which leaves Lan Wangji breathless with the force of his love for this man who knows him down to the bare bones of his very soul.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji breathes between them when he is ready to continue.

Wei Wuxian smiles at him, curling his finger slowly inside Lan Wangji. “Ah, Lan Zhan, my Lan Zhan. Just tell me if you want to stop.”

Lan Wangji nods even though he knows he will not want to stop any time soon. Wei Wuxian’s smile only grows in response, a second finger now toying at Lan Wangji’s rim. He tenses again only for a short moment. Wei Wuxian dips down to kiss the corner of his mouth, his other hand grabbing the oil once more.

He is relaxed again when Wei Wuxian wraps his hand around his cock, two of his fingers now buried in Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian curls his fingers, Lan Wangji becoming looser as he does. His hand around Lan Wangji is neither firm nor aggressive, only gentle and distracting enough to make Lan Wangji’s breaths come faster and sharper with each twist of his wrists.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying murmurs. “Do you want to stay on your back for this?”

Lan Wangji nods, pondering over when exactly his eyes had closed after he opens them to see a blushing Wei Wuxian staring down at him. The slick noise of the oil and Wei Wuxian’s moving hands is loud in the soft quiet of the early morning. Wei Wuxian’s voice is nothing louder than an exhale but Lan Wangji enjoys his husband’s quiet moments as much as he does his loud, excessive babbling.

He also understands that Wei Wuxian is asking if he is in any pain that would make their everyday activities uncomfortable. For that alone, Lan Wangji is certain he would fall in love with his husband all over again if he did not already love him like the moon loves the sea.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji whispers just to feel the syllables of his husband’s name in his mouth.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian croaks in response, somehow having worked a third finger into Lan Wangji when he was not paying attention. 

A particularly loud squelching sound makes Wei Wuxian laugh, slowly pulling his hands away from Lan Wangji’s groin. Lan Wangji does not say anything but his brows furrow slightly and that is all that is needed for Wei Wuxian to laugh again.

“Don’t worry, dear husband of mine. You won’t stay empty for long,” Wei Wuxian chuckles, his smile brighter than the weak morning sunshine quickly lighting up the Jingshi.

Lan Wangji waits until Wei Wuxian has lined himself up before he settles both of his hands on his shoulders. Wei Wuxian’s gaze flickers up to meet his, grinning before he looks back down at the space where they will soon be connected.

The head of Wei Wuxian’s cock is not unfamiliar against Lan Wangji’s rim. He has had his husband in more ways than even he can count but he has not disliked any of them. Each scenario and position brings its own set of benefits and Lan Wangji enjoys anything he can have with Wei Wuxian.

His grip on Wei Wuxian’s shoulders tightens momentarily as he pushes slowly into him. There is resistance at first until his body recognizes what is happening and accepts Wei Wuxian inside him. The slide then is smooth and slow. Lan Wangji’s husband is always careful when they have their everyday in the morning, not wanting either of them to be harmed when Wei Wuxian is not completely awake yet.

Once Wei Wuxian has buried himself to the hilt inside him, Lan Wangji wraps his arms around Wei Wuxian’s neck and pulls him close. Wei Wuxian moves with him easily, his mouth already pressing kisses anywhere he can reach on Lan Wangji’s face. When their lips meet, Wei Wuxian rocks his hips tentatively, testing the effect this will have.

Pleasure rockets straight into Lan Wangji’s being, eyes fluttering closed of their own accord. Wei Wuxian’s thrusts are shallow and slow, but his kisses are demanding and searing which leaves Lan Wangji reeling. He hooks his ankles behind Wei Wuxian’s back, rolling his hips down to match his husband’s rhythm. 

Wei Wuxian grows bolder with Lan Wangji’s silent encouragement. One hand digs into Lan Wangji’s waist as the other fists his hair, tugging on it when he wants to angle Lan Wangji’s face just right. They continue to exchange kisses as Wei Wuxian’s hips move faster and faster.

When they part for air, Wei Wuxian says, “Lan Zhan, you are beautiful. The most beautiful man in this world. Just look at how you open for me.”

“Only for Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji quietly corrects him as his husband smiles.

“Only for me,” Wei Wuxian confirms. “And I am only for you.”

Lan Wangji hums in affirmation, closing his eyes as his husband chuckles. When Wei Wuxian dips down to kiss him again, Lan Wangji loses himself in the simple and pure pleasure of this. He loves the feeling of having Wei Wuxian inside him. He loves the way Wei Wuxian will pull back until just the tip of his cock is still inside him then slam in without notice as the gentleness of their early morning leaves him. Having his husband buried deep within him as he kisses him breathless is one of the things Lan Wangji loves most about married life with Wei Wuxian.

He loves it more when Wei Wuxian scrapes his teeth down his throat until his tongue meets the place where the Wen brand on Lan Wangji’s chest begins. 

Admittedly, the first time Wei Wuxian had tried putting his mouth on it, Lan Wangji had asked him to stop and Wei Wuxian did. They did not discuss it afterward, mostly because Lan Wangji did not know what to say, but the next time Wei Wuxian tried to kiss that brand he only did so after asking Lan Wangji first. Now, they have been together long enough that Lan Wangji has grown used to the way Wei Wuxian will lather affection on all his scars.

He shivers under the onslaught of Wei Wuxian’s tongue on his scarred skin, the burning wave of his arousal building to momentous heights inside him. Wei Wuxian’s thrusts are becoming sloppy as well, a sure sign of his own upcoming orgasm.

Lan Wangji twists his fingers into the hair at Wei Wuxian’s nape, tugging softly to get his attention. His husband does not stop moving in him but once their gazes meet, Lan Wangji is leaning up to capture Wei Wuxian’s lips in a kiss. It is messier than usual, their teeth clacking together at first when Wei Wuxian pushes into him harder than before. Lan Wangji only tightens his grip on his husband, clenching around him in the hopes that he will understand his wish for Wei Wuxian to finish inside him.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian says against his lips anyway.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji responds, reassuring his husband of what he wants.

Wei Wuxian groans loudly then, hips stuttering forward twice more before he stills. Lan Wangji watches him as he comes, his husband’s eyelashes fluttering closed over bright pink cheeks Lan Wangji would like to bite. He can feel Wei Wuxian pulsing inside him and that is when his own pleasure decides to rear its head.

Almost as if Wei Wuxian were able to read his mind, Lan Wangji groans under his breath when his husband’s hand grabs his cock once more. Wei Wuxian uses his weight to hold Lan Wangji down and strokes him as he rolls his hips into him again and again. He can feel his husband softening and the squelching sounds from earlier have only grown more vulgar but Lan Wangji does not care enough about that to truly notice.

Lan Wangji comes as Wei Wuxian is twisting his hand around the head of his cock, still buried deep inside him. He whispers Wei Wuxian’s name like a prayer, head thrown back as the rolling abyss of his orgasm swallows him whole.

When he comes back to, Wei Wuxian has already slid out of him and is rearranging them so he is curled around Lan Wangji’s back. Wei Wuxian presses a trail of kisses to his shoulder blades, following the lines of his whip scars as he is prone to do when he is holding Lan Wangji tight.

It feels calming being held by his husband, the man he has loved since he was sixteen. Even when he is lying in bed naked with Wei Wuxian’s come dripping out of him, he does not find himself wanting to get up and begin the day. Lan Wangji would rather lie in bed with Wei Wuxian in their blissful little cacoon, but then nothing would ever get done. Still, he can afford a few moments more of this before he has to bathe and look presentable enough for his daily responsibilities as Chief Cultivator.

“Lan Zhan, husband,” Wei Wuxian interrupts his thoughts as he whispers into his ear.

“Mn,” Lan Wangji hums in question, turning in Wei Wuxian’s embrace to face him.

Wei Wuxian leans in and kisses him softly, a hand cupping Lan Wangji’s cheek tenderly. He pulls back only far enough to whisper against Lan Wangji’s lips with a blush on his cheeks and adoration written all over his face.

“I love you,” he promises.

Lan Wangji smiles.

[enhypenwriters]

The nuisance that Jungwon is in this🙄 (affectionate)

chasin' your pretty thoughts

PAIRING — Yang Jungwon x Fem!Reader

synopsis: let's get one thing clear, Jungwon wasn't a superhero. So what if he woke up one day with the ability to read minds? His lifestyle didn't need to go through a drastic change. Needless to say, he went on with his life, carrying the weight of responsibility that came with the whole 'having ESP ordeal'. But it wasn't until his 18th birthday where his life took a new turn once letting his barriers slip and he found himself lost in your thoughts—your thoughts that revolved around him and maybe, just maybe he finds the quiet daydreamer (you) and the inner workings of her mind intriguing.

(alternatively: in which Yang Jungwon can read minds and he finds himself slowly falling in love with Y/N, an avid daydreamer, through her thoughts that strangely enough were full of him).

GENRE — one-shot, highschool AU, strangers to friends to lovers, fluff, kind of a character study, a smidge of angst.

WARNING(S) — swearing lol, mentions of death but like from embarrassment

WORD COUNT — 22.9K (that definitely exceeded my expectations 🗿)

ADDITIONAL NOTE(S) — Jungwon is a kind of a geek, MC is on the quiet side this time (really, poor thing is so shy) and gets flustered easily, Jungwon's 'love language' is teasing, brief time-skip at one point.

AUTHOR'S NOTE — well, this took longer than I originally had expected 💀 I know a few of you were really excited for this and I really do apologize for taking so long! Without further ado, here's a long and fluffy fic for all you Wonie lovers out there <3

For as long as Jungwon could remember, superheroic abilities only existed in the comic books he and his older sister would get up to flipping through as soon they grew bored of having to focus on any academic reading required.

It’s a little tradition he and his older sister, Jiwon, had come up with when she, with little Jungwon in tow as he clutched the hem of her sweater, ventured into the deeper and more secluded part of the library. To him, it felt like he was on his own adventure, going against his parents' wishes in favor of trudging into unknown territory, faced with shelves upon shelves of what was predominantly Marvel and D.C comics where time wasn’t particularly kind to what was once the pristine conditions of each issue. 

But Jungwon never paid much mind to the weathered appearance.

As a kid, it only added to the appeal as he eagerly accepted a Spider-Man issue Jiwon handed to him, his eyes wide and full of wonder as he followed suit, sitting across his sister when she had sat against the shelf and opened her copy of an Iron Man issue with gleaming eyes, mirroring his own.

Since that particular encounter, the Yang siblings made it their mission to free their Saturday schedule by doing their chores in a much faster and efficient way. Jungwon, more or less, complained at the additional effort he had to put in (emphasizing his exasperation by pouting, which only puffed up his cheeks and for her to coo at), but Jiwon was patient enough to listen to her little brother’s objections and successfully calmed his growing impatience by the promise of asking their grandmother to give them a slight increase in allowance for ice cream after their weekly trip to the local library.

Jungwon was still in a sour mood even after the bargain. Nonetheless, he still does his chores, albeit his reluctance was ever present in every sweep of the broom, but he still does his part and finished his share of household chores just before their grandmother called the siblings for a well deserved lunch.

Their newfound vigor doesn’t go unnoticed.

In fact, it raised the eyebrows of not only their grandmother, but their parents too. It also raised a slew of silent questions from Mr. and Mrs. Yang as they watched their children go about their set weekend chores. Both Jiwon and Jungwon were both hardworking in their own ways, that’s a known fact and both parents were extremely proud of their children—their absolute pride and joy—so the curiosity quickly faded as they both thought the siblings deserved time for themselves anyway.

They were good children. They deserved to have their fun every once in a while and so Jiwon and Jungwon pretty much made “reading superhero comics until our brains rot” a permanent fixture in their lives. It had gone to the point where they both started looking into buying their own copies to start on each of their respective collections.

Little Jungwon wouldn’t say he was obsessed with having superpowers of his own, but he thought having some sort of ability would probably come in handy if it meant that it would make his life easier.

(He was quite dramatic as a child; very imaginative too).

He dreamt of having a handful of superpowers, one of them being super-speed as that would definitely aid him in completing his own set of tasks which included homework and household chores. The ability to fly came into mind once he found himself watching a flock of birds flying from his bedroom window while in the middle of doing his homework, but then he thought how teleporting would probably be more convenient.

As often as he would find himself imagining all the possibilities if superpowers existed in this world, Jungwon knew those would have to remain in his dreams where anything was possible.

Well, that was until he turned eleven.

On the morning of Jungwon's eleventh birthday, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. 

It was a typical cold, February morning and perhaps Jungwon did wake up earlier than usual due to the chilly weather; still, nothing seemed out of place. It could be that he was anticipating another surprise from either Jiwon or his grandmother which made him feel a tad restless—Jiwon held the most birthday surprises—and that could be the reason why he was on edge when he left his bedroom; eyes still heavy with sleep and hair messed up from tossing and turning.

He was right in expecting his older sister to surprise him.

Jungwon had been waiting for Jiwon to strike since last night—it was his last thought too before he dozed off—and yet, she still managed to elicit a scream from the moment he stepped out of the bathroom after freshening up and that ended up in Jungwon pouting the entire time they ate breakfast as Jiwon and their grandmother doted on him. His sulking was short lived however, because he immediately cheered up when a cupcake with a tiny lit up candle was presented to him, his older sister singing a very off-key version of the birthday song while their grandmother laughed heartily, eyes brimmed with overflowing fondness she had for her grandchildren.

And the cool Monday morning was a happy affair after that, the joy following the siblings towards the designated bus-stop to wait for the next one to take them to school. It wasn’t due for another fifteen minutes, so Jiwon thought of entertaining themselves by choosing a color and to see how many vehicles of said chosen color will pass by them until the next bus comes. Since it was Jungwon’s birthday, he got to choose first; he picked silver while Jiwon picked red.

When he noted down his fifth vehicle, that’s when he heard it.

Jungwon’s gonna freak when he finds out I got him the first two volumes of My Hero Academia.

He turned to Jiwon, surprise etched all over his face and touched at the fact she remembered what he wanted,  “you got me the first two volumes of MHA for my birthday?”

She froze, slowly turning to look at Jungwon and mirrored his expression, “how did you know I got you that?”

“I heard you say that you did,” Jungwon said as if it was the most obvious answer because he did, in fact, hear her. It was her voice, there was no mistaking it. After all, he grew up listening to Jiwon’s voice every single day since he became aware of it and it would be literally impossible if she were to claim it was someone else when it was only them at the bus-stop.

“So did you?” Jungwon asked, slightly bouncing in his seat as an excited smile bunched up his cheeks, “did you get me the manga?”

“How…” Jiwon can’t help but roll her eyes at how earnest Jungwon looked, “okay fine. I did get them.” Then she knit her eyebrows together because how on earth did her baby brother figure it out? Sure he was observant for his age (maybe a bit too observant), but Jiwon thought she and their grandmother did a good job on hiding it from him. Not once did she even move this gift from its hiding place either. “But how did you know?”

This time, it was Jungwon who rolled his eyes. If this was his older sister acting, she’s doing a damn good job at acting clueless. Maybe she should become an actress. “I heard you say it, Jiwon, I told you.”

“I literally didn’t say anything!” Was Jiwon’s indignant reply.

“Yes you did! You said ‘Jungwon’s gonna freak when he finds out I got him the first two volumes of My Hero Academia’.” Jungwon even made it a point to try and imitate his sister’s pitch to annoy her even more, but Jiwon was too shocked to even react, only managing a strangled sound coming from her throat. “I heard it loud and clear!”

What the fuck… he said that word for word too!

Jungwon gasped, scandalized at the cussing—scandalized by his twelve year old sister cussing, “Jiwon! You said the F word! Mom, Dad and grandma told us not to say that!”

What the hell! Can he read my mind? There’s no way he can!

Jungwon’s eyes narrowed at Jiwon appearing as if she was on the verge of a mental breakdown, “how can you talk with your mouth not moving?”

Jiwon held her face in both of her hands and sighed heavily. It kind of reminded Jungwon of their mom when she was particularly stressed or frustrated by something from work. Sometimes it was both. “It’s because I wasn’t, you brat.”

Jungwon, if by any chance you do hear my thoughts, we’re going to Lotte World later. They told me it was a surprise. Mom, Dad and Grandma are picking us up after school. They’re getting off early from work.

“We’re going to Lotte World later?! And Mom and Dad are leaving work early?!” Safe to say, Jungwon was absolutely elated by the prospect of their parents getting off early to take them to an amusement park. “Okay but really, how are you talking without moving your mouth? That’s so weird…” His face scrunched up.

Not as weird as you reading my mind, Jungwon-ah.

Jungwon doesn’t even get to rebuke her statement with Jiwon already opening her mouth to say, “Jungwon, don’t freak out, but you can read minds now… I think.” Say ‘Jungwonie’s stupid’ and I’ll buy you ice cream for a week.

“You’re not tricking me this time, noona, even if it’s for ice cream.” 

Worth a shot. Jiwon shrugged. You do know I’m talking to you through my thoughts, right? See? She gestured vaguely to herself, my mouth isn’t moving at all.

And that’s when the realization dawned on him.

Jungwon’s face falls entirely, “I can read minds now?”

Jiwon slowly slid closer until their thighs touched and patted him gently on the back. “Yeah, I guess you can.” Looks like you’ve got yourself a superpower.

He giggled. It is true, but it’s still weird that it is and it surprised him that he’s taking this well. “How can I save the day with mind-reading?”

I dunno, but you’ll figure out!

“Okay you can stop with that now. You already proved to me that I can read minds.” Jungwon wondered if this could work on animals too. “Do you think this is an unconscious thing? Like, can I turn it off ‘cause I don’t really want to hear multiple people’s minds going off in class.”

Jiwon shrugged, “I didn’t gain mind-reading powers when I turned 11. You’ll have to find it out on your own.” Jungwon sighed through his nose. Isn’t he too young to have an ability like this? And he’s certain there aren’t even books out there that would help. There’s a chance that he could be the only one in the world who manifested such an ability right at this very moment.

“We can talk more about this when we get home.” She said, getting on her feet as she dusted off her skirt and Jungwon followed suit when he spotted the bus coming. “For now, maybe you can find out which one of your classmates has a crush on you.”

Jungwon snorted, gently pushing Jiwon by the shoulder. “Whatever.”

In the end, Jungwon found out who exactly had a crush on him. Three people to be exact and as much as he was flattered by the new found knowledge, it was kind of odd hearing them gush about him in their heads while they did their best in keeping their faces as neutral as possible. 

(It was kind of funny though, now that Jungwon had the time to think about it; Funny in a way that their thoughts were so damn loud when their outer appearance was the complete opposite—stoic, shy and reserved. Perhaps having this ability would come in handy when Jungwon had to deal with liars).

A hand waving in front of his face brought him back to the present. 

“Jungwonie, you okay there?”

Jungwon blinked and looked up to see Jiwon regarding him with slight concern. He shook his head and promptly got up from the couch. “Sorry, I was just thinking.” He peered down at his sister who seemed displeased at the vague answer.

“You already do a lot of that these days. Can’t you give your brain a break at least once?”

Christ, when did this guy become taller than me? Their height difference wasn’t even that great, yet Jiwon can’t help but to complain every time she was reminded of her younger brother’s growth spurt. 

She immediately glared at him once spotting the smirk. Don’t even answer that, you brat.

Jungwon complied, shrugging as he picked up his backpack.

It was way too early to be subjected to his sister’s wrath anyway and he’d prefer arriving at school in one piece. “Yeah well, keeping my brain occupied helps with the mind-reading thing so…” He trailed off while adjusting the straps. Even if he pretty much had a solid grasp on controlling his new found ability he gained exactly seven years before, Jungwon thought he still needed to keep it in check. One slip up could overwhelm him and he does not want that to happen ever again.

Jiwon snickered, “is this your way of telling me you’re overthinking?” Jungwon’s bland expression told her it wasn’t, making her grin. “Anyways, here.” She pulled out something wrapped in brown paper from her bag and handed it over to him. “I’d ask you to guess what it is, but I know you already used your freaky mind-reading shit on me.”

It’s volume 32 and 33 of My Hero Academia.

“Grandma would smack you if she heard you cuss.” Jungwon snickered, flipping the wrapped gift in mid interest and completely ignoring her bristling, “and it’s volume 32 and 33 of My Hero Academia.”

Jiwon’s expression quickly morphed into disbelief. “God, I hate it when you do that. It’s really hard to surprise you at this point. Mom and Dad think you’re so hard to please now too.” She whined.

“Sorry,” he said, not at all sounding the least bit apologetic. A small grin pulled at his lips too, earning a scoff of disbelief in response, “I really can’t help it sometimes.”

Jiwon parrots what he said in a mocking manner and Jungwon snorts as he unwrapped the two new volumes to add to his ever growing collection of MHA manga. “You say that every year on your birthday.” She grumbles, “happy birthday, by the way. Ugh you’re 18 now too! You make me feel so old.”

He let out a good-natured laugh, “you’re only two years older than me though?”

“I’m turning 20 this year, Jungwon. I think I can say I feel old now that I’m nearing my twenties.” Jiwon started ushering him out of the living area hurriedly, “now let’s go, birthday boy, I gotta take you to school. Consider me giving you a ride part two of your birthday gift.”

“Wow, lucky me.” Jungwon said drily, letting himself be pushed out of his own home. “Don’t you have classes too?”

After saying their goodbyes to both their grandma and their recent addition, a rescued Bichon they named Maeumi, Jiwon pulled out her car keys from one of her bag’s pockets, “my classes aren’t until later,” Jiwon reassures him. It’s one perk being in college. You can build your own schedule for your own convinience, “so I have plenty of time to fuck around before then.”

Tap tap.

Jungwon blinked once, twice, three times before he huffed at Jiwon’s amusement, “do you always have to do that?”

“Of course,” she tapped the middle of his forehead twice again with her index finger just to prove a point, “who else will remind you to not overuse your superpower?”

If someone asked Jungwon about his peculiar fixation on anything superhero related, he could say in confidence that he wasn’t as obsessed compared to how he was in his younger days.

He wasn’t as obsessed, yes, but did that mean he completely turned his back on the one thing that brought him and his older sister closer? Of course not, and the keywords here are “Jungwon wasn’t as obsessed”; it doesn't entirely mean he wouldn’t pick up a comic book ever again. His fixation dwindled throughout the years of spontaneous growing pains that came with puberty and his obsession had been demoted to a healthy interest, so Jungwon liked to think that he wasn’t the same starry-eyed boy that viewed Spider-Man as a god during his childhood.

His current interest in the manga his sister had gotten him doesn’t count, obviously. Nevermind that he started collecting an appropriate amount of figurines along with the thirty something volumes of the mentioned manga. Afterall, it was completely normal for a teenage boy like him to have some sort of interest other than Taekwondo and while he was thankful that his parents had kind of forced him to partake in the martial art to improve on his socializing, sometimes he needed another outlet to unwind; some sort of hobby to keep him grounded and not succumb to the pressures of being in his junior year of highschool.

A light smack on the back of his head launched Jungwon out of his bubble of concentration, letting out a surprised sound that got caught in his throat in the process. Jungwon hissed and quickly grabbed the nearest thing to use as a bookmark—a ball-point pen—for the meantime, before looking up to glower at the early morning perpetrator, rubbing the same spot he was hit.

“Happy 18th birthday, loser.” Jungwon immediately rolled his eyes when he saw the shit-eating grin spread on Wonyoung’s lips from his visible annoyance of being interrupted. “I see you’ve already started the day with your nerdy book.” Wonyoung unceremoniously plopped onto her desk which was on said birthday boy’s right-hand side.

“Very funny,” came Jungwon’s bland reply as he picked up the ‘nerdy book’ (which was volume 32 of the MHA series, thank you very much) again to continue. “Is that how we treat the birthday boy? And here I expected my best friend to play nice for once.” He paused from his reading to look at the girl expectantly with an arched eyebrow.

She mirrored his claim with an all too sweet smile, “eat shit, Yang.” and she placed a box of chocolate onto Jungwon’s desk. The two broke into peals of laughter as he said his thanks.

“By the way, class representatives are required to attend a StuCo meeting later.” Wonyoung said through her mouthful of chocolate.

Jungwon paused in his chewing, eyebrows knitting together, “what for?”

Wonyoung shrugged and looked elsewhere, “Not really sure either. I’ll wait for you to finish cleaning up the classroom.”

If he says ‘no’, I’m gonna physically drag him out of this damn classroom myself. We planned this birthday dinner for so long. We’re not taking ‘no’ for an answer.

The corners of Jungwon’s lips twitched and hid the growing smile behind the manga in his hands, swallowing the chocolate. “Alright, if you say so.”

“Great! I mean… great.” And if Wonyoung’s sigh of relief was far too obvious than she intended it to come out, Jungwon doesn’t mention it.

Thank God. Sunoo would have chewed my ear off if his efforts of getting a reservation were for nothing.

Even if he did consider Jang Wonyoung as his best friend, Jungwon never really made it a point to tell her about the whole ‘oh, I can read people’s minds by the way’ thing.

He never found a need nor a reason to let her, or any of his friends, be informed on the matter; and knowing some of them, they’d probably use his ability as some kind of party trick to amuse a new face, or an exploit to earn cheap bet money from an equally cheap thrill of a guessing game. He can already feel the upcoming Riki-induced-headache from the thought of asking an unaware stranger to think of something for Jungwon to guess.

On the other hand, it’s not like Jungwon lived a double life as a superhero.

He was just a boy who had somehow woken up being capable of reading minds. It didn’t really make his life any different; other than the fact that he can hear an array of voices entangling with his own inner subconscious from time to time. Still, his life was pretty normal. He had no desire to dramatize it either and he would prefer to live a structured and stress-free life too. Really, there was no point when he already had full control of his capabilities.

Though, there were a few rare instances where Jungwon’s attention was not all there—a very very rare feat, mind you—which ultimately led him to forgetting that none of his friends were informed of his clairvoyance. Suspicions were thrown his way whenever these slip-ups happen; he already expected it, but Jungwon always made sure to be one-step ahead of everyone and chalked it up to him just having ‘good intuition’.

It was enough from the looks of it, because they didn’t question him further and they knew he spoke the truth and nothing but the truth. He really wasn’t one to joke around. That was more of Riki’s job and Jungwon considered himself as the moral compass of his friend group; the one who would usually pull everyone back before they even get the chance to think of something that would regrettably get them into trouble.

Someone has to be, especially when most of them screamed trouble.

(There was one time where Sunoo made an off-handed comment about him probably having ESP. Jungwon had to apologize profusely when the latter fell victim to his spit-take).

Out of all the things he had learned throughout the experience of having a glorified sixth sense, lying was the one skill he had a little difficulty getting a grasp on.

Can it even be considered as a skill? It comes natural to everyone, doesn’t it? Maybe with the exception of himself, considering Jungwon never felt the need to falsify any detrimental information to save his own ass. He’s as honest as they come, and prior to gaining his ability,  he knew fully well that he was shit at lying. He couldn’t lie even if it was the last remaining solution to save humanity from any outside threat. Consequently, having a new  responsibility to mind, might as well learn the art of deception; anything to keep his secret safe.

Jungwon was subjected to more birthday greetings right after that initial morning run-in with Wonyoung, then he powered his way through an embarrassing moment where their teacher for second period had everyone sing happy birthday to him, all thanks to his best friend announcing that it was indeed Jungwon’s ‘special day’. While he was extremely grateful that his classmates had collectively said their warm greetings (even if most of them were prompted by his friends and teachers), he really wasn’t sure if he’ll be able to survive another barrage of ‘happy birthdays’ once he leaves the classroom for lunch.

And boy was he right in assuming there would be a long line of people that wanted to greet him.

Maybe that was a little bit of an exaggeration on his part, but there were still indeed some people he was fairly acquainted with that actively sought Jungwon out just for that, and all he could do was smile and express his gratitude with a soft-spoken ‘thank you’.

In the middle of all that cacophony, he may or may not have let his ‘mind barriers’ open briefly to (accidentally) hear some thoughts. Most of them were, again, internally fawning about how pretty, cute and handsome he was—your typical musings when it comes to admiring someone, really, and it was still strange that he could find out just who exactly harbored a crush on him just by doing so.

Jungwon was still flattered by the compliments though, if the light blush kissing the apples of his cheeks were anything to go by.

* * *

Yang Jungwon… man, even his name is so cute.

The boy in question immediately looks up from his manga in quiet surprise, eyes roaming around the currently silent classroom where most of his classmates were still working on the activity their teacher for the last period assigned to keep them busy; and it’s clear that Jungwon had no problems completing everything in a short amount of time.

And it seemed that he wasn’t the only one who had more time to fool around before the bell rings.

It’s not often that Jungwon lets his control over his own ability slip, but when he does, he comes across a multitude of mindscapes that were unique to its beholder and he’s seen and heard quite the variety of thoughts; the human mind is truly amazing, Jungwon would muse.

No mind is the same. That’s his number one takeaway from reading more minds than he could count; just like how his clairvoyance wasn’t limited to only voices, sometimes when he tries hard enough, Jungwon can see into someone’s mind. More often than not, the times where he does dive into a person’s mindscape, it was more or less accidental. It’s still lost to him on what actually triggers the ‘deep-dive’ aspect of his ability, but he supposed it only happens when he honed every ounce of his focus on an individual. That was always the common denominator.

Back to the situation at hand, Jungwon swore he recognizes that voice. He wasn’t entirely sure if the person he thought of was the same one who just spoke in their mind and so he kept alert; eyes still scanning the classroom’s expanse until the voice from moments prior pierced through his mind again.

It’s been two years. When do I plan on actually talking to him? Is this what I get for being the ‘quiet and reserved’ one in the class? Man, fuck this. Maybe I can tell him happy birthday again? We’re cleaning partners today anyway.

Jungwon suppressed a smile, using a hand to cover the lower half of his mouth as he held back the giggles fighting to escape his lips.

Oh he knew that voice, granted it wasn’t often that it was heard because 1.) you were definitely known to be the quiet and reserved one in the class. It’s basically your brand. 2.) You barely spoke, only speaking when spoken to and as embarrassing as it was to admit, it kind of played into the fact that Jungwon barely paid that much attention to anyone who wasn’t part of his circle and 3.) he hadn’t the chance to take a peek into your mind either; again, please refer to number 2.

His manga laid forgotten on the top of his desk now, in favor of observing his current object of interest who was currently gazing out of the window, cheek resting on the palm of your hand and he can’t help but to think that the sight before him looked it belonged from your typical shoujo anime; with you sitting right beside the window as the afternoon sun shone on your figure. It kind of made you look like you were a main character.

A tiny smirk tugged at the corners of Jungwon’s lips as he thought to mirror your pose.

You were quite something, now that he had some time to further assess you, who took the whole mysterious girl trope and ran with it for the years he’s been aware of your presence. Jungwon thought that you were indeed the stereotypical shy, quiet and reserved girl who no one really paid attention to, but still aware of because the whole image interested anyone who was curious to what made someone like you tick and he was indeed curious.

As quiet as you were now, your mind was a different story and that intrigued him the most.

You were very loud in your head, a stark juxtapose to how you were in real life. Jungwon could probably equate the tumultuous train of thought to some muted category of overthinking, if it weren’t for the fact that your thought process was nowhere near close to that. What he heard did not go on the same spectrum overthinking belonged at all, not when the voice took a dreamy lilt as it echoed in his head.

What if I confessed to him?

Jungwon’s eyebrows raised in interest. So you do have a crush on him. It was already a given; you did mention that his name was cute.

Shaking your head, you let out a dejected sigh through your nose as you turned away from the window to peer at the open notebook resting idly on your desk.

Nah, that’s too soon. Besides, he barely knows who I am.

While that was true, he was relieved at the fact that you respected his boundaries because if that were to happen, Jungwon wouldn’t really know what to do if you did pour your heart out to him.

He watched you turn to look out of the window again, gazing at the sky for a brief moment before you breathed out a heavy sigh, folding both of your arms to rest your head on top of them.

Might as well be single for life. It’s probably my destiny to be alone if it takes me almost three fucking years to grow a pair and talk to Jungwon. Your inner voice this time took a defeated turn as you buried your face deeper into the comfort of your arms. At least let me experience what it would be like to confess to your crush. Sulky. That was one way to describe how you sounded right now.

Then, he felt the all too familiar pull of being brought into someone’s mindscape that he ended up closing his eyes and clenching his jaw from the initial uncomfortable feeling. Even if Jungwon knew it would eventually fade, he still can’t get used to it.

It didn’t stop from there either. Entering someone’s head always affected his senses in a way where Jungwon had concluded that the phantom feeling of ice-cold water washing over his skin, or even a jolt of electricity running through his veins were a few examples of a person’s way of greeting his presence every time he did trudge into the depths of their mind. The difference ranged from person to person and Jungwon had also chalked all of this up to being some type of prognosis that would give him an idea of what he would expect to see once he gets a clear view of the mindscape he’s in.

The two examples given obviously meant that he wasn’t at all welcome to take even just a tiny peek, so he had already expected to go through something similar when it came to you. Sure you held Jungwon on some type of pedestal, but that clearly became a catalyst of your slight aversion to simply talking to him and really, he wouldn’t hold it against you if your mind greeted him in the most unpleasant ways.

With all that to expect, he was, however, proven wrong when he entered your mindscape.

For one, it was not the sharp pain from being electrocuted that extended its welcome. The barriers your mind had set up parted easily and he immediately felt warm all over, as if he was being engulfed by a hug from an old friend who was beyond ecstatic to meet him again. It’s strange, Jungwon thinks, this doesn’t happen often and knowing the two of you hadn’t really spoken much to each other, he alluded that this ‘warmth’ may have something to do with what you’re thinking right now.

And it’s one thing he got right.

Upon opening his eyes, he was greeted by the sight of the same classroom. This time, it’s like everything before him was bathed in some type of lovely camera filter (something akin to rose-tinted glasses or however the saying goes) that made the whole scene a lot more romantic than what the room looked like on a day-to-day basis. Perhaps there was a reason why it appeared so, when his eyes took in the two individuals standing in the middle of the otherwise empty classroom.

“Jungwon… thank you for coming to meet me here.”

Huh, it’s me and Y/N. Jungwon sits on one of the desks, curious as to what you could possibly be daydreaming about at this moment.

It’s quite strange watching a version of himself smile down at you, “your note did say to meet you here once our classmates left.” and the Jungwon of your mindscape lifted the said note with a quirk of his eyebrow, making the real Jungwon snort from his perch. 

Is this how you saw him? You weren’t too far off, if he was being honest. Though he definitely wasn’t as charming as you made him out to be as he grimaced when Jungwon’s daydream variant graces you with a coy smile; an expression he wasn’t all too estranged to, yet it was a tad disconcerting to witness it etched on his face as a spectator.

I don’t actually smile like that… do I?

“So?” Jungwon prompted with an eyebrow raise and it’s almost laughable how flustered you seem to get as he rested his hip against the desk. To think quiet and stoic L/N Y/N was so easy to embarrass. It was rather adorable, tilting his head as he observes you fumble with your words while under his clone’s stare. “Why are we here? Do you have something to tell me?”

“I do actually,” you mumble and he assumed it was loud enough to hear when Jungwon of your mindscape’s smile stretched wider as he pockets the note you gave him. The action flustered you even more, now avoiding looking into his eyes completely and instead gazed down at your fiddling fingers.

Jungwon rolled his eyes when the other Jungwon’s posture straightened, a light sense of smugness lighting up his features. “Yeah? Let’s hear it then.”

“I like you.”

“Yo, earth to Jungwon?”

Just like that, he was  immediately pulled out from your daydream.

The change in scenery was so abrupt, in fact, that it sent him lurching forward as if a wave of motion sickness had hit him full-force. It was only thanks to his fast reflexes that he managed to steady himself by placing both palms onto his desk to prevent him from hitting the desk first because that would have been difficult to explain, especially if you were dealing with someone like Riki; always so curious, always wanting to be up everyone’s business so he wouldn’t feel left out and Jungwon would rather give up his growing MHA merch and manga collection than to tell the sophomore what he was up to.

Though Riki doesn’t appear to be fazed by Jungwon and the minor glitching he went through. If anything, the sophomore was more interested in what he was staring at and that immediately pulled a shit-eating grin from him, nudging Jungwon playfully as he made a series of sounds that tried to goad him.

He immediately shuts up when the older nudged him back hard enough in the ribs to make it hurt, completely disregarding the kicked-puppy look pulling on the taller boy’s face as Jungwon sends him away so he could help you clean up the almost empty classroom.

Contrary to how you were in your mind, you really did keep up the shy and reserved facade, bowing and smiling politely when you met eyes the moment everyone else, but the two of you, left the classroom for them to attend their respective club meetings. You didn’t talk either and somehow, there had been a silent agreement where you would sweep, Jungwon would wipe the white board clean which left the both of you to arrange down the desks and chairs together.

Then again, this was the usual routine when it came to maintaining the classroom’s cleanliness. There really was no need to exchange a few words since the cleaning system had already been ingrained into anyone who had been a student of the school for a significant amount of time; and since Jungwon had a vague idea of how you are when it came to socializing, he’d rather not force you to talk to him when it was clear that you were still apprehensive of the thought.

Needless to say, tidying up went on without a hitch and the silence that surrounded you both was comforting in a way; it was the type of silence that filled in the spaces in between the two of you that the need to talk wasn’t at all necessary. In all honesty, he was expecting it to be a little awkward; what with you and your bashful nature, though he can tell that you were starting to ease up around him when the restless thoughts and worries that went a mile a minute through your mind were replaced by short light-hearted musings this time around.

Although you never really made any attempt, your thoughts were more than enough for Jungwon to get to know you a little bit. You were awkward, shy and timid for the most part, but man did you have a very colorful imagination and he had a really hard time trying to tone down the cheesing. The amount of times that he had to hide his giggles with fake coughs was getting so ridiculous that you started to look at him weird, worry dancing in your eyes to which Jungwon promptly waved off in lieu of a verbal confirmation to let you know that he was okay.

As strange as it was to hear you fawning over him in your head, Jungwon thought it was a tad endearing. He sensed nothing but genuine admiration too and he wondered how he had never picked up on your pining during the three year he’s been with you, always in the same class. In addition to that, he was rather impressed that you kept your feelings from him for this long.

Moments later, Jungwon scanned the classroom one last time to check if you both had missed anything in particular before calling your attention. That caused you to straighten up from fixing your belongings, slowly turning to look over your shoulder with your eyebrows slightly raised in silent question.

A tiny grin found its home on Jungwon’s lips, “great work today, Y/N.”

Your lips part in a silent ‘oh’ as you slowly nod in response, returning the gesture with a bashful curl of your lips as you tuck a hair behind your ear. “Yeah, you too, Jungwon.” He notes that you were soft-spoken too; voice reminding him what clouds would probably feel like: soft and airy and so unlike the brazen version of your inner subconscious. It was pleasing to the ears, really, quite different from the myriad of voices he heard on the daily and pleased he was by your reply, turning to fix his own belongings, satisfied with the brief interaction.

Just before Jungwon could take the first step out of the classroom, he felt a light tug on his blazer, “Jungwon?”

He didn’t waste any time to twist his torso, enough so that he could face you. “Yes? What is it?”

“Um, happy birthday—here, hold out your hand,” you inquire softly, “please.” You added it as an afterthought when you thought you sounded too demanding and Jungwon was quick to oblige, mostly to quell your nerves. Then something wrapped in pastel blue was placed on his outstretched palm and as Jungwon peered at you closely, the state you were in right now reminded him of what you looked like confessing in your daydream: fiddling fingers, head bowed slightly to avoid eye-contact.

In spite of your apparent hesitance, Jungwon doesn’t bother to suppress his smile at the thoughtfulness, gently closing his fingers around the book-sized gift as he flipped it once, then twice to get a feel of what it may be. “You got me a gift? You shouldn’t have.”

You wanted a hole to swallow you whole. Great going, Y/N! What if he thinks you’re some weirdo?

It took a lot for him to not burst into laughter right then and there. You really do worry a lot.

You’ve never felt this nervous in your life. Ever, and that’s saying something because while it was quite normal for you to feel uneasy when it came to socializing with someone you weren’t particularly familiar with, this was by far the most anxious you’ve ever been; in front of the boy you’ve harbored feelings for, no less and you just hoped that you won’t end up embarrassing yourself.

“Thank you, Y/N.”

In the next second that followed after hearing your name fall from his lips, you threw caution to the wind and chanced to peer at him through your lashes, only for your lips to part slightly in awe at the peculiar sight.

The sweetest of smiles graced Yang Jungwon’s equally sweet looking face while gazing down at your gift. That alone was enough to send your heart soaring at how devastatingly adorable he looked right at this very moment and the warm rays of the late afternoon sun only added to the breathtaking view of Jungwon.

He is so pretty.

For a short moment, it's as though you’ve forgotten to zip your mouth shut. Really, you thought the comment somehow bypassed the barrier that was there to keep yourself from spilling anything that would cost you your dignity because you found yourself gazing at Jungwon head-on and some traitorous voice in your mind said, he’s smiling because of you, you know? And while that could be the truth, you still felt like the face you were making right at this very second gave away your feelings that were supposed to be locked up.

But Jungwon didn’t say anything that alluded to him figuring you out. On the contrary, he appeared elated by the surprise, even if he hadn’t even opened it yet and that was enough to alleviate your anxiety as you beamed at him and responded with a soft, “you’re welcome.”

* * *

Dinner with his friends was quite the loud affair.

Regardless of the ruckus caused by mostly his friends, Jungwon still enjoyed the surprise. He was grateful that they made time to celebrate his birthday even if they had their own responsibilities that needed attending to. His friends obviously had fun throughout the entire time they huddled the two joined tables, shouting over each other as Sunoo took charge with grilling the meat.

“You can sit down and relax,” the senior started as he flipped the last of the thinly sliced pork belly sizzling on the grill. “We’d rather not have the birthday boy char our precious meat.”

And the scream that left Sunoo after Jungwon pinched his side was one of the highlights of the night; probably many of the quaint barbecue place’s patrons considering Sunoo’s screams were known to be loud, almost ear-piercing too.

As much as Jungwon wanted to enjoy the little ‘surprise’ party, his mind can’t help but wonder off towards his earlier interaction with you. True that it wasn’t really all that special as you were more bashful than the image of you painted in his head, but the way you looked and spoke to him left such an impression that it was the only thing that was occupying him throughout dinner; that, and the neatly wrapped gift from you that sat idly in the confines of his schoolbag.

Jungwon didn’t waste any moment as he stepped into his bedroom (making sure Maeumi got in safely with him too). His bag ended up being flung onto his desk chair right after he had fished the pastel blue wrapped gift from its depths and made a bee-line towards his bed to which he had unceremoniously jumped on, Maeumi quickly following in his foot-steps.

Why he was being gentle with unwrapping it, he didn’t really know, but he continued to be as careful as he could by peeling the tape, letting out a small cry of success when no visible harm was done to the wrapper and hurriedly slipped it from the hard material of the gift.

He didn’t even try to mask his surprise and elation at what he was currently holding. An artbook he desperately wanted for as long as it has been available to purchase for the public stared right back at him and he wasted no time unwrapping the plastic protecting before opening it.

What he saw in a white envelope with his name on it and seeing you did put a lot of effort into gifting him something when you clearly didn’t need to, he owes it to you to read through the letter before he could even think of flipping through the artbook, no matter how excited he was.

Jungwon,

First of all, happy birthday! I hope you had a nice time celebrating since turning 18 is quite the big deal for most people. You might be wondering, ‘why did L/N Y/N give me an artbook of all things’? I could go the poetic way and say that it reminded me of you, because it did, and while that does hold some truth, I’d rather be honest than put up a front. I accidentally ordered two copies of the artbook and really had no idea what to do with it. My friends aren’t into MHA as much as I am, so giving it to one of them was already scratched off the list before the thought came into mind.

But then I remembered seeing you read some volumes of the manga in class and during lunch a few times before and thought that maybe you were also a fan of the series, so I decided to give you the second copy since I assumed you’d probably like it. If not, well, still, keep it. It’s a gift after all, and even if you may not like it, the fact that you still kept it is enough for me!

— Y/N ♡

Oh he’s definitely keeping it, he already knew where he’s placing it too. How can he not when other than the manga Jiwon had given him earlier in the day, this artbook from the manga author himself was high on his wishlist? Jungwon wasn’t sure if he should be calling this a miracle even if his racing heart told him that it should be. This was the same artbook he had been eyeing for months, but luck wasn’t really on his side since every time he tried to scour the internet for the nth time to check if there was at least one online store, he was only left to be disappointed when big, bold and red letters that said ‘SOLD OUT’ mocked his every failed attempt on getting his hands on one.

To think you of all people had another copy. This was like fate at work and Jungwon doesn’t know what to think of that. First, he had heard you calling out his name from the depths of your mind, he got to swim in too and now you’ve given him the artbook he wanted? 

He doesn't know what the world will have in store for him next, but what he does know is that he should thank you as soon as he gets the chance to.

Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough. He spent all night coming up with what he should say, taking your bashful nature into consideration too because he was not going to risk possibly intimidating you if he somehow came off strong from expressing his gratitude.

And Jungwon thought he did well on that, if the bright smile was anything to go by as you said “you’re welcome” for the second time with the same softness laced in your voice.

A week after Jungwon had taken it upon himself to—what he would like to call it—investigate, he had come to a final conclusion.

You, L/N Y/N, liked to daydream. A lot; and that was no exaggeration on his part. It’s simply what he observed from the week-long investigation. It’s not like there was anyone who’d disagree, not when Jungwon was the only one who could see—could hear what the average human couldn’t.

More often than not, getting lost in the depths of your mind was definitely one of your favorite past times when you couldn’t find anything else to invest your utmost attention to (one could even consider it a hobby from how often you get lost in your own musings) and through that, Jungwon might have been entertained by the slew of scenarios you were able to visualize. 

It’s like your mind recorded everything that resonated with the idea of romance—the idea of what romance was to you. While some are more cliché than others—then again, aren't rom-coms built on them too?—there were times where you picked one of the many clichés from a metaphorical box to pick apart whatever media you’d taken inspiration from and put it back together again, but it wouldn’t be quite the same. Either there would be a new piece present, or there were one… two… maybe even four pieces missing; other than the technicalities, you still recreated those clichés to brandish something new every time he’d willingly took the plunge to explore in the deep corners of your pretty little head.

Other than yourself, he, Yang Jungwon, was a recurring character in your daydreams and that was more than enough to tell him that most of your thoughts did revolve around him.

It was also obvious that you were quite the imaginative one; still as loud as the first time he got to take a peek into your mind and it reflected how colorful it was too. Everything in your mind was just so vivid that there was a point in time where Jungwon wondered if you had any creative outlet that would do all your vivacious daydreaming some justice.

There must be something, right? You might be some version of an open book to Jungwon, an open dream journal perhaps, but your thoughts alone could only do so much and so in order to find out more about you, he’s going to have to get you to talk to him… like actually talk to him; living and breathing Yang Jungwon and not the Yang Jungwon you’ve curated in your head.

He hadn’t a clue just why he was so dead-set on getting to know you better. One would think that finding out that someone had a version of you living in their mind rent-free would certainly be an ick. Jungwon knew he should be feeling some type of reluctance, now that he was aware of how much you possibly adored him, yet he still was rather curious, intrigued even.

Just how could you think so highly of him when the longest conversation you had was when you gave him a gift?

“Dude, what's with the whole thing staring at Y/N?”

Jungwon almost jumped out of his skin from Riki’s sudden appearance, “I’m not staring. I’m observing.” He clarified and then paused, eyebrows knitted together as he looked at the sophomore, “what are you doing here?”

Fighting against the urge to smack the smug grin from Riki’s face was no easy feat, mainly because the opportunity was right there. Though to Riki’s unknown relief, Jungwon remained lucid enough to not act on his bordering on violent urges as he really wasn’t in the mood to set a bad example for anyone else who had already viewed him as ‘the one who could do nothing wrong’.

Jungwon’s frown deepened, while Riki’s grin widened in tandem, “it looks like you are staring at her to me.” Riki teased, playfully poking the dimple that appeared when the object of his teasing pursed his lips, no doubt annoyed. “Does Jungwonie have a crush? The quiet ones are your type, eh?” The younger one poked his cheek again, “eh?”

“I don’t.” He ignored Riki crying out in pain when he had pinched his side in retaliation. “Don’t be stupid—and even if I do, how is that any of your business?”

“Okay wow, someone’s being touching today. How mean.” The younger pouted, then immediately ducked to dodge Jungwon’s attempted smack.

He sighed, “just… tell me what you’re doing here.”

“It’s lunchtime, airhead. You were taking too long.”

Jungwon peered at his watch, “it’s only been 5 minutes since the bell rang.”

“Too long for me.” Riki whined. “Are you coming or not? I’m hungry.”

The older of the two rolled his eyes, chair emitting a screech from pushing it back, “alright, let’s go.”

* * *

You must be dreaming, you were sure of it.

“Erm… hi?” you trailed off, swallowing your mouthful as you looked up at the looming presence that stood on the other side of your desk, a tad startled by the appearance as you gently put your pair of chopsticks down.

The classroom was devoid of its usual crowd, which was expected anyway since your classmates and friends preferred having lunch in the school cafeteria where they were free to be as loud as they wanted. It was always a rather rambunctious affair and there were times where you just needed a break from it all—some time for yourself while you enjoyed a hearty meal before subjecting your brain to absorb the information that you won’t probably even remember once the semester came to its end.

Somehow, the universe was set to listen to the niggling thought in the back of your mind about wanting some time for yourself that earlier this morning, your mother had insisted on bringing the packed lunch she had generously prepared for you, and who were you to say no? It wasn’t often she’d go out of her way to cook two separate meals in one sitting. She was a busy woman herself and if the world was trying to tell you something, might as well listen to whatever vague sign it presented, especially when you had an inkling that it was going to benefit you, one way or another.

And what joy that the universe was also capable of taking your true heart’s desire into account alongside it, gracing you with Yang Jungwon’s presence, holding up what seemed to be a sandwich pack and a carton of apple juice.

Oh my god… it’s Jungwon. What is he doing here? Do I look okay? What if I have something in my teeth—

Simply put, the traitorous thing called your brain immediately came up with every worst case scenario that could screw all of this up. Be that as it may, it didn’t shake off the hope that some kind of positive, outside force chose to be on your side for once in your meager life. Should you hail it as Lady Luck somehow taking pity on your God-knows-how-long pining? 

Whatever or whoever decided that entangling your destined path with Jungwon’s was a stellar idea, they could have at least given you a warning.

Gratitude was always granted to those who only had pure intentions with their services, but you weren’t too sure if this whole predicament fell onto the same scale of benevolence. Not when Jungwon left you feeling a multitude of things on the daily and most notable of them all was how one eyeful from him—from those gleaming, cat-like eyes—could instantly render you a flustered and painfully shy mess. It’s like some kind of deity was messing with you.

And frankly, you were feeling less and less grateful the longer you had to sit there, feeling as if you were about to explode from how hot to the touch your face was.

“Ah, sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.” 

Then, you were lulled back to reality; eyes blinking a few times as you dared to actually look at his face this time, only for it to appear to you that Jungwon seemed rather pleased when he finally had gotten your attention, letting out a light chuckle at your timidness.

He’s not making fun of me, is he? 

“Don’t worry, I’m here with only good intentions.” And the reassuring smile he gave you immediately got you thinking that your assumption might have been a teeny-tiny bit off; a common theme that was always present, now that you thought about it (you really had to work on that). Besides, you knew that he wasn't that kind of person. Then again, it was kind of his fault that all rationalization just straight up left your brain.

He’s still smiling, not minding that you didn’t answer right away, “I just wanted to know if I could eat lunch with you?”

You froze.

What.

Jungwon, again, didn’t even pause for you to give him an answer. If anything, he was amused by the lack of reply and instead went on to place his lunch down on the available space your desk had—you made some space in haste once you realized what he was trying to do—and took it upon himself to grab and pull the chair in front until the backrest touched the edge of your desk.

“So…” Jungwon trailed off as he rested his chin on his arms resting on top of the backrest, tilting his head. It really took everything in you to not melt into goo. For one thing, this is the closest you have been to him that it was certain you were invading his personal space (not that he looked like he minded from what you can tell) so it completely caught you off-guard when his foot nudged yours under the table—and he looked so cute that it kind of made your heart ache a little bit.

“What’s for lunch?”

The hold you had on hope was almost bruising, to say the least, probably having it in a chokehold too as you prayed that you did not look like a fucking idiot, gawking at the abruptness of it all. Well, it was an assumption that you might’ve been so, because Jungwon’s smile widened a fraction as you hesitantly picked up your chopsticks to tell him exactly what your mother had packed, using the utensil to point at them too.

“It looks really good.” He said and you could see his nostrils flare slightly, taking in the sight of your lunch before giving you a brief glance. Your breath hitched and immediately looked elsewhere. 

Unbeknownst to you, he smirked, watching your subtle panic.

“Thank you. My mother cooked it.” Why would you talk about Mom? Get a grip, Y/N!

Jungwon giggled at your apparent regret from word-vomiting, “oh relax, Y/N. It’s just me.”

“It’s just me,” he says. Yeah, that’s exactly the problem why I’m going insane. 

“Let’s just eat, yeah?” Jungwon suggested, fingers curling around the plastic-wrapped sandwich. “Who knows? Maybe you’ll become less shy after.” He teased with an arched eyebrow.

Your face was burning at this point, fumbling to get a proper grip on your chopsticks. I’m actually going to die.

With another smile that was lethal to your poor heart—you fear that you actually might die—Jungwon added, “let’s eat well,” before he took a bite, taking that as your own cue to eat.

This all gave you a sense of deja vu.

Much like the time where you were both assigned to clean the classroom together, the silence wasn’t as awkward, though you can’t help but feel so when he was literally only a table away. A table, smack-dab in between you both, acting as some type of barrier. In complete contrast to yourself, it seemed that the close proximity wasn’t bothering him in the slightest. If anything, he was completely at ease scrolling through his phone as he chewed; and every once in a while, you’d feel his foot nudge yours, but you knew that was more of his subconscious acting upon it.

Still, the small action caused butterflies to flutter about in your belly, struggling to keep a straight face that you resorted to peering down at your lunch as you tried your hardest to fight off the smile that threatened to break through your facade.

It was absolutely absurd really.

The thought of an action that small was enough to have you going haywire was admittedly laughable, now that you had time to process just how ridiculous you were being. If a simple nudge to the foot had you acting like this, who knows how great of an effect it might have on you if fate was kind enough to merge yours and Jungwon’s path that you ended up having your fingers intertwined as you walked side-by-side.

Hearing a chuckle after having that train of thought caused you to stiffen.

You didn’t say that out loud, did you?

“I can feel your eyes on me, Y/N.” Jungwon didn’t even look up from his phone when he spoke, holding a half-eaten sandwich in his other hand. “What’s worrying you this time, hm?” 

You didn’t even realize you were staring right at him until your vision refocused, only for your eyes to widen at the smug grin that tugged on the corners of his lips.

“I wasn’t worrying!” You denied with frantic waves of your hands as if it’d hypnotize him into thinking that, no, you were not staring at him as you imagined how soft his hands could be. “I was just… wondering why you’re eating lunch with me,” you winced at how rude that might have come off, “no offense.”

But Jungwon doesn’t seem to take your sudden defensiveness to heart, if anything, he seemed curious and answered you with his own question of, “why are you alone eating lunch in our classroom?”

You blinked, letting the tips of your chopsticks push slightly against your lower lip, “I wanted to be alone for a bit.”

“Oh…” he trailed off, now appearing sheepish as he placed his sandwich on top of its plastic wrap. Jungwon did kind of barge into your space with all of this, so he never really thought about the possibility of you wanting to be alone. Of course you’d need some time for yourself every so often, now he felt guilty for pushing this whole thing onto you.

“Do you want me to leave then?” He asked gently, picking up his carton of juice to drink.

You shook your head as an answer, and then added, “I didn’t say that. it's just…” How do I say this without sounding pathetic? “I don’t know… and don’t take this the wrong way but, it’s kind of strange that you suddenly want to eat lunch with me.” Your voice took on a quieter tone, unsure as you sighed and placed your chopsticks down.

It was all of a sudden, wasn’t it? Abrupt as it was, you’d be lying if you went on and said that you weren’t the least bit elated by the surprising turn of events. Having a simple conversation would have sufficed, yet you really had no room to complain—not when you’re having lunch with your crush, of all people.

It took you almost three years to simply talk to him, so you’d obviously take this as a chance to do so.

“I mean, we’re friends, aren’t we?”

Tilting your head, you eyes him with a questioning gaze, “we are? Since when?”

Jungwon shrugged, “you gave me a gift, something that I really wanted when you didn’t have to and I think that’s enough for me to consider you as something more than an acquaintance.” You weren’t sure, but you felt he meant something else by that statement. But that could have just been your delusional side talking. Not really the first time it happened. “But if it makes you uncomfortable, I can back off a bit.”

“No, it’s okay really. You just took me by surprise and I—um—I like how things are now I just—please be patient with me? I think it’s quite telling that I’m not good with the whole socializing thing, sorry.”

“There’s no need to be sorry, it’s alright.” Jungwon reassured you. “I mean, I already knew what to expect since you are on the shy side and I think I came off stronger than expected.”

“A little, yeah.” you giggled, “if it makes you feel better, my friends did the same, so I guess ‘coming off strong’ was needed when you’re dealing with someone like me.”

“I don’t really mind. You’re not the first shy person I’ve met.” He explains, a smile curling around the straw in his mouth, ”then again, they weren’t as interesting as you.”

“What do you mean by that?”

He settled on giving you an enigmatic smile as an initial answer, cat-like eyes gleaming underneath the warmth of the afternoon sun as if he knew something you didn’t. Whatever it was, you just hoped it wasn’t something as embarrassing as your crush on him.

“You eat pretty slow, did you know?” Good on him for diverting the topic because what he said prior almost had your heart burst out from your chest and the fact that there was some kind of looming mischief behind those kind looking eyes was a bit too much to handle today. “We only have 20 minutes left before the bell rings, Y/N.”

Was saying my name really necessary? Does he want me to go crazy?

Jungwon masked his snort with a cough.

You arched an eyebrow, pausing mid way from picking up a rolled egg omelet, “is this your way of saying you want a bite?” Now it was you he didn’t let him answer as you swiftly pulled out another pair of chopsticks.

He gave you a dubious look when you handed them over, “why do you have an extra pair of chopsticks?” Despite the questioning, he still took them from you.

“It’s not what you think,” you started before he could even think of possibly teasing you from being extra prepared. “My friends have a bad habit of picking my food with their bare hands,” you shuddered, “so I made it a point to bring an extra pair.”

“Ah. Remind me not to do that next time then.”

“There’s—there’s a next time?”

“Only if you want to.”

You let yourself chuckle at the persistence, “okay. So are you going to help me finish all of this before the bell rings or not?”

(If there was one thing that you’ve learned from talking to Yang Jungwon, he’s a mischievous little shit and you meant that in the most affectionate way possible. He loved to tease and you’d suspected it to be his love-language upon seeing that he’s also like that when it came to his friends).

In all honesty, it surprised Jungwon that friendship with you was relatively easy.

It didn’t mean you’ve suddenly gotten over your natural timidness from befriending him, but in the sense that you made it easy for him to get to know you better which in turn made the progress of your friendship significantly faster then he initially predicted. Jungwon supposed that your shared love for the MHA franchise was the starting catalyst of the fast-growing bond between the two of you, but other than the mutual fixation on the anime slash manga, you did have a handful of similar traits.

It’s beyond him why it took you both such a long time to meet on the same plane too. Not that he was blaming you or your apprehensiveness for halting what could have blossomed all those years ago; Jungwon would and could never, and he was also partially to be blamed for the delay as well, because if it wasn’t for him honing his focus on that voice that called out to him during that fated, quiet afternoon, he would have never felt so curious to the point of wanting to get to know you better.

Since the day Jungwon took initiative to join you for lunch in the classroom, it became a regular thing that by the fifth time it happened, you two had joined heads (prompted by Jungwon) to come up with a viable schedule so you both could have days where you could eat with your friends too.

(“You do know that we can all eat together at the cafeteria.” You pointed out as you watched Jungwon knit his eyebrows as he stared down at his phone. He huffed, the air causing his fringe to fly up briefly as he gave you a quick glance. “Why are we brainstorming a lunch schedule?”

The boy focused on his phone again, “have you ever thought that maybe I want to be alone with you too?” You also learned that Jungwon was as straight-forward as they come; sugarcoating wasn’t part of his vocabulary and he always said what was on his mind to avoid any misunderstandings. 

“How does every Tuesday and Thursday sound?” Judging by the tone, he really was set on continuing the now dubbed tradition of sharing each of your packed lunch between you both.

The only thing you could do at the moment was pinch the bridge of your nose in hopes of toning down the warmth that had started to creep up your neck, while Jungwon had gone on and set a reminder for those two particular days. “Yeah… yeah okay. Tuesdays and Thursdays work just fine.”

“Perfect.”

You would have put up a fight, argued that the whole set-up wasn’t at all necessary and that you were content with having to ‘share’ his time with your respective friend groups. But when Jungwon had set his mind onto something, most of the time, it was difficult to talk him out of it, not when he’s as stubborn as a boulder that was impossible to move and you can tell how dead-set he was on it becoming a thing between you two.

Nevertheless, your inner subconscious was squealing in delight at the prospect of having him to yourself for an hour, twice a week at most and you liked to believe that perhaps your newfound friend felt something similar from witnessing his adamance on the matter.

Well, there’s no harm in hoping).

Other than the set lunch plans, Jungwon had also made it a point to seek you out whenever school activities and/or assignments required to complete them. It was already an automatic response this time around that anyone who had the mind to test out their luck and ask Jungwon promptly gave up once realizing the new development between you and their dependable class representative. 

Wonyoung had even expressed her wonder as she shot Jungwon a look when he loomed behind you in the middle of pulling out what you needed for the activity. She was only given a shrug as an answer as he leaned low enough for you to tell him your suggestions, and Wonyoung’s eyebrows raised significantly when catching the soft smile that brightened Jungwon’s face while listening to you ramble.

While you do have a handful of friends yourself that you can ask to be partners with, you can’t help but to feel like you’re burdening them, being an unwanted liability no matter how many times they reassure you that no, you weren’t a burden, that it wasn’t a crime to ask help when you needed it. When it came to Jungwon, however, the worries were always so quick to fade away, leaving no traces as if they hadn’t materialized in the first place. He was known for quickly adapting into situations where one would normally stumble at the very first attempt of getting ahold of themselves, and you were no exception to Jungwon’s inborn skill.

To you and from what you had observed throughout the weeks you had the pleasure of being a part of his orbit, it’s like Jungwon just knew what to say whenever you were on the verge of succumbing to your anxiety; always knew what you needed to hear during those days where you weren’t really feeling like yourself and there was no doubt that you thought it was quite amazing, like he was attuned to how your inner workings functioned.

Curiosity had you bringing it up during your one of many ‘Jungwon and Y/N only’ lunch sessions. You didn’t mean to pry, but as much as you were amazed by his possible sixth sense when it came to you, it was a tad odd that Jungwon just knew.

He settled on answering with a tentative, “good intuition, I guess?” as he picked a piece of chicken from your lunch box, popping it straight into his awaiting mouth. “Well, that and you’ve always been easy to read to me.” Which wasn’t really that far from the actual truth, considering he can read you—that he can read your mind, to be more specific and he’s beyond relieved that you immediately bought his explanation, asking no further questions as you used your chopsticks to pick up a rice ball from his lunch box with a pleased hum.

“Am I really?” You asked through your mouthful, “guess what I’m feeling right now then.”

Wow, his grandmother’s cooking is really good.

And without missing a second to show-off whenever he could, he quickly answered, “you really like my grandmother’s cooking. You always do that little dance when eating something good.” He grinned coyly at your momentary awe, “also, don’t talk when your mouth’s full.”

Face twisting at being scolded for the habit you’ve been trying to fix, you clicked your tongue, “fine. Maybe I am that easy to read.” You grumbled, snatching your carton of mango juice. “Or you can just read minds.”

It took a lot for Jungwon not to falter at the spot-on claim as he masked the millisecond surprise (thankfully without you noticing) with a scoff, “don’t be ridiculous, Y/N.” Then he reached over to flick your nose, causing you to yelp and kick at his foot in revenge with a soft string of curses.

On the topic of his clairvoyance that now extended to you, your daydreaming hasn’t been as frequent as it was back when your interactions with one another leaned on the more tentative side of things, nor has he been hearing much from your mind either that it kind of worried him. 

He wasn’t starting to lose his ability, was he?

The answer was no; his ability was 100% intact. His assumption was quickly proven false once he tried testing it on Wonyoung with the knowledge that she tended to overthink at times, being someone who was overly worried about her future and all and hearing the barrage of frustrations was enough as confirmation.

Listening to you internally ramble on and on about him in your pretty little head was what started this whole friendship after all and Jungwon considered it to be a normal thing he dealt with on a daily basis that the sudden decrease of your frequent internal monologuing was jarring, to say the least. It was a feat he had grown used to overtime and now that he was so used to your brain going miles a minute, he might as well condition himself again with the longer bouts of silence this time around.

After some more deliberate thinking, Jungwon had come up with the conclusion that the absence of your restless thoughts was the result of your ever growing bond. It made sense considering the two of you were friends, close friends from the amount of time you had started spending together that Jungwon had to reassure Sunoo, his senior, that he wasn’t replacing him or any of his friends for that matter. 

It’s possible that the need for conjuring scenarios between you and him had waned over the duration of your budding friendship, now that simply striking up conversation with Jungwon was easier for you now. You were still a little timid, sure, but you were gradually getting out of your shell; now being able to hold eye-contact with him for more than five seconds and he was proud of the development, to say the least.

He was pulled back from his own thoughts when he felt a tapping sensation on the middle of his forehead.

“Won?” Jungwon’s eyes refocused to find you standing in front of his desk, the hand that you used to tap his skin retracting to hold onto the strap of your backpack, concern written all over your face. “You okay?”

Oh, were classes already over for the day?

“Yeah…” Jungwon trails off, “yeah I’m okay. Was just thinking, sorry.” He promptly pushed out of his chair to gather his belongings once he realized it was only him and you in the classroom.

“Well, that can’t be good.” He found you grinning slyly, once his head snapped to give you a withering look, the very same one he‘s given Riki plenty of times. You get a pass this time. It wasn’t often that your playful side came out to—well… play. “What were you thinking about?” It came out as an innocent enough sounding question, though Jungwon knew better and he liked the challenge.

He kissed his teeth. Two can play at that game.

Jungwon hiked up his backpack on one shoulder, stood at his full height and smirked, “You.”

You blinked once, twice, three times before you burst into laughter, “haha, very funny, Yang.” Very funny. I might actually faint right now. You tried to sound dismissive, waving him off as your laughs diminished to nervous bouts of giggles, yet Jungwon still managed to catch how your voice wavered upon turning your back to him. “C’mon you promised me ice cream and I’m getting that free ice cream.” With that, you shuffled out of the room, leaving him behind.

Jungwon barked out a short laugh as he jogged to catch up, “what? You don’t think about me sometimes?”

“No.” You denied.

“Bet you're thinking about me right now.” He teased on further, matching your steps.

You immediately quickened your pace, not wanting him to see just how flustered you’re becoming because of his incessant teasing. “No I’m not. My head is empty. Nothing is in there.”

“I don’t think so,” Jungwon didn’t relent, however, and his hand swiftly shot out to grab onto one of your backpack’s straps, pulling on it to slow you down. “You must’ve at least thought about me once.”

Seeing that struggling against the newly branded nuisance (affectionate) to your life was obviously futile in regards to his physical advantage over yours, you let out the heaviest sighs and allowed him to walk with you side-by-side.

An irritated huff flew past your lips once the two of you stepped out of school property, “trust me, Jungwon, if some version of you that lived inside my head, you’d be the first person I’d tell.”

He tugged onto the strap again, “I’ll hold onto you on that.”

He doubted that you'd tell him of your daydreaming habit, not when you yourself felt embarrassed by the absurd amount of times you had pictured yourself with him in a romantic setting in your mindscape. There was no need to anyway, since Jungwon was already aware of your peculiar hobby.

Problem is, how could he tell you he knew that some version of him did live in your head without you freaking out?

***

Jiwon was looking at him weirdly and Jungwon didn’t know why.

Judging by the numerous faces his older sister had made during the past hour of them both studying in the living room, he’d assumed that Jiwon was trying her damndest to figure him out, even if she looked like she’d been dragged to and from hell, one of the effects of experiencing a busy week of college.

Having enough of his sister’s eyes burning holes into him, Jungwon sighed and placed his pen down to comb his fingers through his hair. “Can I help you?”

“You seem happier recently.”

Now it was his turn to look at her weirdly for the equally weird conversation starter “...am I not allowed to be happy..?”

“Okay one,” Jiwon held up her index finger to emphasize, “I never said that. Two, it’s a girl isn’t it.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement as Jiwon gave him a wide-eyed look, daring him to deny her assumptions.

“How did you even get that from just looking at my face?”

“Maybe I’m an empath and I forgot to tell you?”

Jungwon squinted, “are you?”

“Of course not.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.” No, he doesn’t. She was his sister and it was impossible to hate his literal partner in crime. “But I am your older sister. I just know shit and I know you.” she clarified. “So, you and… girl.”

“For all you know, it could be a boy,” one look from Jiwon had Jungwon stop from whatever smart-assery he was about to spew out. “But yes… girl.”

Satisfied, Jiwon lets out a pleased hum at the thought that she didn’t have to resort to extreme measures (e.g: selling all of Jungwon’s hard earned figurines and manga. She’s promptly met with a hard glare coming from the boy himself. Crap, she forgot he could read minds).

However, Jiwon didn't let it bother her too much and spoke, “tell me about her.” 

Jungwon did so without further question.

She learned your name, listened with rapt attention when told of how the first meeting went and ended up having half of her torso resting on top of the coffee table, assignments long forgotten as she, once again, listened attentively to every word that flew past Jungwon’s lips. This time, he was rambling on about what had transpired before the two of you took a detour to get the free ice cream he promised you.

It’s until he went on a tangent about how adorable you looked when you were having a dilemma on which flavor of ice cream should you get; eyebrows knit together paired with the slight pout pulling on your lips were the few tell-tales that you were taking this very seriously. In the end, Jungwon couldn’t help but laugh when you settled for plain old vanilla and chocolate, grumbling at how the complex sounding flavors did nothing but overwhelm you.

“Sounds like you have a crush.” Jiwon concluded once she was sure her brother was done with his babbling. “I gotta admit, I thought you were emotionally repressed or something ‘cause this is the first time I’ve heard you talking about someone so fondly.” and she was just as fond of the idea, “it’s kinda gross.” Very fond.

The last string of words didn’t get a chance to register in Jungwon’s brain when ‘you have a crush’ started running around up there in circles; took a while for him to respond too, after he using up all his sweet time opening and closing his mouth repeatedly from the initial shock Jiwon had given him with her ‘hypothesis’.

“A crush—I don’t think… me? I have a crush on her?”

Jiwon arched an eyebrow. Wow, he looks absolutely pathetic.

Jungwon felt a vein pulse on his temple, “shut it.”

She squinted, “don’t you?”

“I… don’t know? I mean, I know for sure that Y/N has a crush on me.” Why the fuck was he blushing? He already knew that. “But me? Having a crush on her? That’s…” He ended up trailing off in uncertainty, not really knowing what to add and not really knowing how to rebut whatever Jiwon was throwing at him.

“My brother in christ, have you heard yourself, Jungwon? You’re telling me, I sat here for more than an hour, listening to you going on a tangent and spilling every obscure detail you remember of Y/N’s, only for you to tell me you don’t like the girl?”

“Yeah..?” 

Jiwon hurled an eraser and it hit him right in the middle of his forehead.

“Ow?!”

“You’re an idiot actually.” The hand that threw the eraser was now back at her side. “You like her, Jungwon. Usually you would actively avoid getting close to anyone you knew that liked you so you wouldn’t give them any false hope. Yet somehow, Y/N, the daydreamer, is an exception to that?”

“But Y/N’s different. She’s my friend.”

“She only became your friend because your nosey ass decided to take a deep dive into her brain, which, let me remind you, is full of fake scenarios of you and her! You don’t find that a little strange?”

“What? She has an active imagination! And it’s entertaining hearing her ramble in her head!”

“Again, are you hearing yourself?”

Okay so maybe, he did find you cute.

He’s allowed to find his friend adorable without having any other reason except that he just finds your smile cute, especially when it was him behind it. It’s not that big of a deal, was it? So what if he thought you looked extra endearing whenever the two of you were engaged in a passionate discussion of who your favorite characters were in the My Hero Academia franchise? Watching you gradually get worked up everytime he rebuts your explanations has a little something fluttering about in his chest too.

Who knew that shy and quiet you had so much to say?

Not only that, but Jungwon liked to spend his free time with you. The weekly library visits with his sister have been replaced with weekly cafe visits with you, now that Jiwon has her own life and friends, so that definitely gave him more time to hang out with you in a non-school setting. To him, it was always a treat to see you waiting for him at the meeting point, watching a smile light up your face as you waved in greeting before Jungwon makes his way over to you with a matching smile of his own. 

“Oh for fuck’s sake—Jungwon!”

“Huh?” He quickly recovers from his stupor, “what?”

“’What’, he says. You were smiling like some lovesick fool. You like Y/N.” He didn't even get a say as Jiwon continued to prove her point of his alleged ‘crush’ on you. “I know you Jungwon, and I know for a fact that you have a hard time connecting with some people, but with Y/N, It was different, right?”

“Yeah, but—“

“Yeah, it was different, and not only that, but you were willing to be friends with someone who already had feelings for you. Weren’t you the one who told me that pursuing someone who already likes you wasn’t as fun? Not to mention it made you feel awkward befriending them, yet Y/N somehow gets a pass.” Jungwon didn’t really know what to say to that and so Jiwon, smug as she was, continued on with her spiel, much to his chagrin. “I think that’s enough evidence that you don’t only intend on being a close friend of hers.”

“I don’t have any other intentions besides being her friend.” He grumbled.

“So you’re leading her on then? You said it yourself she really likes you, yet here you are.” She makes a vague gesture. Then Jiwon’s face quickly twisted into anger, “I swear to god, Yang Jungwon, even if I don’t know Y/N all that much, I am willing to disown you if that was the case.”

“No! I’m not leading her on! How could you think that, Jiwon?” It kinda stung that his own sister would wrongfully accuse him of such a possibility… Then again, he could now see why she had come to that conclusion. 

However, Jungwon never intended on leading Y/N on. That never crossed his mind at all. He really did want to get to know you better. “I like having her around! I like her—huh…” he blinks, furrowing his eyebrows, “I like her.” 

“Took you exactly 20 minutes to realize it, wow.” Jiwon mused as she peered down at her watch,  “How come it’s always me, making you realize shit. First the mind-reading thing and now you liking someone.”

Is that why Jungwon always looked forward to Tuesdays and Thursdays? The days where lunch was spent with only you in the comfort of their classroom? He’s got to admit, spending lunch with you and and only you always left him feeling at ease, always soothed by your soft and airy voice as you tell him the tidbits of your day-to-day life and some anecdotes that you would recall as you pick your food; and more often than not, he found himself gravitating to you more and more.

And the more he thought about all of the times you spent together, the more it made sense. Jungwon never really understood it at first, but as he recalled the constant persistence of his own inner subconscious seeking you out was more than enough for him to accept that what you felt for him wasn't completely one-sided.

There was something there, stirring in the depths of his chest the more his mind lingered on you and how much you adored him, even if you tried your very best to hide what you really felt.

Other than Jiwon, ever the perceptive one, his friends too were quick to pick up on the new development. In hindsight, the budding friendship wasn’t meant to be kept a secret anyway, nor did he think it was that big of a deal to retell every single detail of what has been brewing between Jungwon and yourself. Furthermore, it’s not like the two of you were hiding it from everyone; they were free to gawk at the unexpected pair and he didn’t need to spell it out for them. His friends each had a pair of perfectly functioning eyeballs, didn’t they?

That doesn’t stop them from pestering Jungwon for more details, however, and as displeased as he was with the idea of having to rehash everything he had told his sister, he had let Wonyoung, Riki and Sunoo drag him to the StuCo office for the long awaited discussion.

“So…” Wonyoung took her time to pop her bubblegum before continuing, “you like them quiet.” Much like Jiwon’s approach to starting the conversation from before, that too came out as a statement.

“That’s what I said!” Was Riki’s helpful input.

Jungown gave him a pointed look, “again, why are you here? Don’t you have a club meeting?”

“This looked more important so I skipped it.”

“I’m not even surprised,” huffed Sunoo, “so, Y/N. When did that happen?”

“Around… 3 months ago? A week after my birthday?”

Sunoo’s eyebrows raised in awe, “a week after turning 18… interesting.”

Riki nodded in a solemn fashion, “cuffing before senior year starts. Understandable.”

“Shut up, Riki.”

“I think he meant how and why,” Wonyoung corrects, ignoring whatever that side conversation was about. “But yeah, how in the world did that happen?”

“Remember when you guys took me out to dinner for my birthday?” The ‘guys’ who were present all voiced their confirmations, all leaning closer in unison. “Well, before that, Y/N and I were assigned to clean the classroom that day. Then she gave me a gift which I really liked.”

“Oh! Was it that artbook on your desk?” Riki asked, shaking in his seat with glee. “I heard it was hard to get a copy.”

He nodded, “yeah, that one,” it was definitely one of the best gifts he’d ever received, otherwise he wouldn’t have made it a routine tk flip through the thing at any given opportunity to admire the artwork. “And I don’t know, I thought she was pretty interesting… always getting lost in that pretty”— he completely ignored the varying levels of surprise each of his friends showcased as he went on —”little head of hers—I was curious.”

Can’t really say I was literally inside of her pretty little head, now can I?

Riki then got this thoughtful look on his face as he pinched his chin, “they did say curiosity killed the cat.”

“But satisfaction brought it back and I’m pretty satisfied with where we are right now.” Jungwon then gave him a look, “what was with that analogy anyway?”

The youngest shrugged, “wanted to sound smart.” He told him before shoving a handful of M&M’s into his mouth. He gets a withering look in return. “Also, what do you mean by ‘being satisfied’? You don’t plan on asking her out or something?”

He pursed his lips, contemplating Riki’s question, “I… haven’t really thought about it yet.” After all, it was only recently that Jungwon had his eyes pried open to the fact that he may harbor not-so-platonic feelings for you. He didn’t feel rushed to ask you out right off the bat either. He knew how skittish you could get and the least he could do was to sort of ease you into it; maybe subtly show you that your pining wasn’t exactly unrequited, preferably with small, calculated gestures that would get his point across.

Jungwon wasn’t all too sure. He really hadn’t thought that far and he obviously wasn’t expecting anything romantic to culminate from his attempt at friendship. To think all of this stemmed from his own curiosity.

“You like her enough to consider that though, don’t you?” Wonyoung questioned further.

“I guess so—“ He was cut off by a series of knocks on one of the doors before it slid open.

“Ooh~ speak of the angel, and she shall appear.” Came Riki’s hushed teasing the moment you had poked your head through the small opening you created.

Sunoo beside him snorted as Wonyoung lightly smacked him on the back of his head.

Eyes wide, you looked around before your gaze settled on the very boy you were looking for, “Jungwon, hey.” A mix of a bright and sweet smile curled on your lips when he lifted an awkward hand in greeting, which was a little strange since he always took the opportunity to grind your gears a little bit with his teasing.

Now that you strayed your gaze away from the guy who always left your heart in shambles (in a good way, of course), your lips formed into a small “o” shape at the sight of Jungwon’s friends who all appeared expectant of something.

Suddenly feeling embarrassed, you gave all of them a wobbly smile and shrunk slightly underneath their curious stares. “Hello. I wasn’t interrupting anything, was I?”

“Oh, not at all!” Sunoo waved off, “were you waiting on Jungwon?”

You nodded in response, fidgeting with your fingers, “yes. Well, he was actually waiting for me since I had a club meeting, but I got a text that if he wasn’t outside waiting, I should come here. Obviously he wasn't outside waiting for me so I—” Your eyes widened slightly before you tensed, “sorry for rambling.”

Wonyoung flashed a good-natured smile, “you weren’t. We didn’t know Jungwon had plans after class, so we kinda dragged him here for a… discussion—don’t worry about it.”

“Yeah, we didn’t mean to steal Jungwonie from his girl. We’ll ask you next time—ow!” 

“Thank you, Riki.” Jungwon gritted out, hand returning to his side. “Very considerate of you.” It was a struggle getting all of that out, trying not to sound like he wanted a black hole to materialize right then and there to escape the situation. “Would you mind waiting for me outside? I won’t be long.”

You gave a little shake of your head and he could tell that you were trying your very best to not let Riki’s unwarranted comment get to you, “I don’t mind. We’re still going to that cafe I told you about, right?”

Jungwon cracked a smile, “of course, wouldn’t miss it for the world. I’ll be with you in a bit, okay?”

You know how in romance-centric movies where a character would have their own moment of piecing everything together until everything made sense to them? 

Yeah, Jungwon was experiencing that right now.

You smiled at him plenty of times before. Hell, he was one of the reasons why it graced your features on a frequent basis, so it wasn’t too far-fetched for Jungwon to believe that most of them were caused by him alone. He’s seen you smile, grin and laugh countless times, but the way you were smiling at him right at this moment caused his heart to stutter until he felt it thudding against his chest, as if it was about to burst out any second.

Sweet. Jungwon always labeled your smiles sweet and to anyone else, it probably wasn’t all that special. Yet looking at you right at this very moment, the way you were poised at the door, how your eyes glittered under the warm afternoon rays of the sun—Jungwon wanted to be the first to bare witness to this and if possible, he wanted to be the sole reason why this particular smile of yours existed.

He swallowed thickly when you let out the softest of laughs that twinkled like windchimes in his ears, before regaining your usual bashful mien, the wide grin that stretched your lips shrunk to a more demure curl, “okay. Take your time.” Then you pulled yourself out of the room, gently sliding the door closed.

One by one, minus Jungwon, all craned their necks to gaze at the shell-shocked boy with matching knowing looks as he fumbled with his backpack.

“Well,” Sunoo started with an all-too smug expression as his foxy eyes squinted slightly by his grin, “you’re fucked.”

It takes Jungwon exactly five seconds to recover from what you’ve put him through before he spoke, voice calm and leveled, “not really,” he started as he looped each of his arms through the straps of his backpack. “An inside source told me this isn’t at all one-sided. I think I’ll be fine.”

With a wry grin, he said his goodbyes and headed straight for the door, ignoring the three pairs of eyes that burned with curiosity trailing after him.

With superpowers came a few set-backs that would ensure no one would think of ever overusing them to the point it’ll become detrimental to one’s body.

At least that’s what Jungwon knew of as he’s seen that exact concept many times from one fictional character who broke his bones often from overusing the strength he was gifted.

When it came to his own clairvoyance though, he wasn’t too sure if he had any setbacks that would rival Deku’s broken bones. It was a passive ability, which meant he didn’t find the need to focus all that much to guarantee its effect, but instead, he had to concentrate hard enough to suppress it, to not let the array of entangling of voices distract him. 

“Jungwon..?”

Jungwon didn’t even take a second to look up, not when it was you calling out to him; though he quickly realized it was a bad idea when a brief pulse of nausea went through him from the abrupt action. He didn’t even get to mask his wince as he did so and the concern plastered on your face was already warranted as he tried his best to flash you a smile, a tiny grin that he hoped was enough to placate whatever was starting to brew in that head of yours.

Still, your obvious worry for him failed to subside, noting how your eyes appeared to look rounder, having some semblance to a pair of puppy eyes paired with  how you chewed on your lower lip, one of your nervous tics, at the pitiful sight of him. “You don’t look too good.”

And it was true. Even Jungwon knew himself that he didn’t exude his usual gait that radiated confidence, nor did he look his best (paler than normal complexion; dark bags underneath his eyes) and he had to stifle a chuckle when you winced at your own words. “Are you okay?”

His grin dimmed, just a tad that it wouldn’t worry you too much, “yeah, ‘just didn’t get much sleep last night.”

Though, it was obvious that you didn’t believe him—not one bit, when a pout pulled at your lips. It seems he wasn’t the only one who was good at reading people. You have gotten good at it over time. “You sure?” 

“I’m sure.”

Lies, lies, lies.

Jungwon wasn’t okay, he felt like absolute shit. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to hold out until class was dismissed. Lying was the last thing he’d want to resort to doing, but if it meant that it’ll stop you from worrying, then so be it.

The moment he had woken up earlier this morning, he was greeted by a niggling feeling at the back of his head. It was the reason why he got out of bed a little later than usual and he got matching looks of confusion from both Jiwon and their grandmother. Jungwon shrugged and came up with the excuse of sleeping later than he intended from the homework he was assigned to do. It wasn’t painful, wasn’t as painful or annoying as a headache or a dreaded migrain, but in a sense that there was this… pressure pushing at his temples and the dip where the lower part of his head and his neck connected.

By the looks of it, their grandmother believed his reason, not without scolding him and ended it with a reminder that sleeping late will do him more harm than good.

On the other hand, Jiwon saw right through him. The very same cat-like eyes that mirrored his own narrowed into slits and that action was enough to put the message across that his sister didn’t buy his bullshit.

In the end, Jiwon didn’t push him further for answers, but he did get a handful of pointed stares during breakfast when their grandmother wasn’t looking. That usually meant his sister would be waiting for him to talk to her about whatever that was about and if her patience wore thin, she'd just force it out of him—you know, the usual.

Taking a pill to alleviate the uncomfortable feeling seemed to be a viable option. A bottle of aspirin that sat idly on the bathroom counter prompted the idea and he wasted no time in downing one with generous amounts of water to wash it all down right after he had finished getting ready for school. Aspirin doesn’t take too long to kick in anyways, just twenty to thirty minutes and by the time he reaches school, It’ll probably be gone by then.

Oh how wrong he was.

The pressure digging into his head was still there an hour later as Jungwon stepped foot on school property and he was a little relieved that it wasn’t bad enough for him to consider turning on his heel to march straight back home, so he walked on, deciding to focus on something else entirely because all the pressure could just be in his head. It’s possible that it could be the residue of stress left behind from powering his way through his final exams and that was enough for him to stop thinking about it.

And it was definitely not because Jungwon has spotted you sitting on one of the benches. Could you be waiting for him? Maybe; you did beam at his approaching figure and immediately got onto your feet when he got closer, hiking up your bag higher as you said your greetings.

At least you and your chattering proved to be a good distraction, good enough that the dilemma he was facing was momentarily forgotten as you both weaved your way through the crowd to get to your classroom. 

“Alright, just… let me know if you need me.” You then gave him a pointed look, though the way he sees it, the face you were making honestly reminded him of a small puppy trying to be intimidating; like the one time his Maeumi stared him down for more treats. Devastatingly adorable.

Jungwon huffed in amusement at the thought, “yeah yeah, I’ll let you know if I’m dying.” 

You only grimaced at the bordering morbid answer before you skulked off to your seat.

See, he would have been happy to tell anyone that he wasn’t dying, wasn’t on the verge of keeling over, but holy shit. He felt like he was going to pass out if the voices resonating in his head didn’t quiet down right at this moment.

Fuck, he should have brought a few tablets of aspirin if he knew this whole thing—whatever it was—was going to get progressively worse as the day went on, or, you know, go home; but Jungwon was quite the stubborn one and he was well aware that that feat could be his downfall one day. He just wasn’t expecting that day to be today.

It took a lot to get where he was now; being able to grasp full control on his mind reading abilities to the point where he can only hear voices only when he wants to. As he’s said before, it was a passive ability and while it was, Jungwon still would like to have his own terms when it came to it and for some reason, his brain, or more specifically the ability his brain had decided to go against him and his wishes.

In retrospect, this is probably not the first time where he felt like his head was going to split open. 

Come to think of it, the earliest memory of something similar happening was when he was a week into being clairvoyant; same school setting, same pressure he felt that morning before it exploded into a head-splitting headache that he started crying during his English class because of how bad the pain was, how impossibly loud it was in his head.

It was apparent that the teacher in charge didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what it meant when little Jungwon had complained through the onslaught of his tears that it was too loud. They were entirely lost and made the ultimate decision to send him home, calling his grandmother to come pick him up from the clinic where Jungwon spent an hour whimpering and clutching his head as salty tears kept leaking out from his eyes.

He was in pain, yes, but present Jungwon knew he could handle it without bursting into tears this time around. Now if he could just sneak out of the classroom to rest on one of the school clinic’s beds… maybe it could help. It won’t be too hard to attempt his escape considering there was a week left until the semester ended, meaning the teacher’s wouldn’t mind too much as there wasn’t much to do anyways. He could text either his sister or grandmother of his situation too if it didn’t get any better.

Just as he was about to haul himself off his seat to do just that, however, a sharp pain pierced through his skull that had him clutching his head.

Unbeknownst to him, you’d kept watch the entire time. As much as he reassured you that he was fine, that nothing was going on, you didn’t believe him. To you, it was obvious that there was something wrong. It was palpable through his body language and no offense to Jungwon, but he didn’t look his best today. So soon as he curled into himself with a grimace, you quickly got off of your seat and rushed towards him.

“Christ, Jungwon,” you hissed, ignoring the few looks you were getting from your outburst as you tried to assess the situation. “What’s wrong? Tell me.”

“S’loud… really fucking loud.” he gritted out, hands sliding down to cup his ears. “Stop. make it stop… please.” Your eyes widened at that.

Loud? I don’t know how to tell him this but… No one has been talking that loud.

Whatever, you didn’t dare question his odd choice of words to describe why he looked like he was about to pass out as you scrambled to remove the headphones sitting around your neck to slide them over his ears. Might as well counteract whatever was bothering him with some music. You could only hope that your taste in music was decent enough to calm him down.

“C’mon, let’s get you out of here.” You told him. Well, it was more to yourself since he can’t really hear you, but when you went and boldly took his hand into yours, Jungwon was quick to pick up on your intention and you both left the classroom with you once again brushing off the multiple, curious stares you’ve gotten from your classmates.

The clinic was the best place you could think of. It was usually quiet anyways and it seemed that Jungwon was pleased by the choice as he dropped heavily onto the bed with a heavy sigh. At least your headphones were enough to drown out the mass of voices. The ache head dulled down to the same pressure as before as he took his time simply drowning in the sweet melody that sang into his ears.

On the other hand, you sat on the bed opposite to him, keeping a watchful eye to gauge him for any discomfort he might feel. This went on for a while, both of you sitting in absolute silence with you waiting for Jungwon to gather his bearings until it was he himself who removed the headphones.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better, I guess.” He sighed through his nose, smiling wryly as he lightly patted the pair of headphones that hung around his neck. “Thanks.”

“It’s no problem, but…” you ended up trailing, not knowing how to bring up your own curiosity about what he meant about… something being too loud for him to have this type of reaction. You had working ears and from what you heard in the classroom, no one was being too loud. There was a teacher present and your classmates knew how to respect them by keeping their voices on a decent decibel that wouldn’t be grating to the ears.

“Actually, nevermind. I’m just glad you’re okay, even if you did scare me a little.” You joked, laughing softly.

Besides, it’s none of my business anyway. Makes me curious though. What was that about?”

“No, I’m sensing a question there, Y/N, what is it?”

“Um, you don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to. I just found it a little…” weird?

“Weird?” Jungwon voiced out for you, snickering when surprise twisted your face. “I’ll answer anything you ask me.”

You can trust him on that. He might as well be honest now. Back then, letting someone know of his ability was the last thing on his mind. Jungwon thought it was for the best since he never really deemed it an important subject anyways. To him, it was like an extra something to live with and he learnt how to do so just fine with just his sister knowing.

However, if he wanted to pursue something beyond friendship with you, he was ready to lay himself bare and tell you all about the hidden ability he had. You trusted him, that was already a given and Jungwon knew he could trust you too, especially when it came to his mind reading tendencies. Also, he thought it was unfair that he has been aware of your crush on him without you knowing; might as well come clean now too. He just hoped you wouldn’t resent him because he was expecting for you to drown in your own embarrassment again.

Jungwon could only wish that you’d let him pull you out of there because there was nothing to be embarrassed about, he can assure you on that.

“When you said that it was too loud… what exactly did you mean by that?” Ah yes, the million dollar question. Though to be fair, he had thought of a bunch of other questions you could have asked that belonged on the same spectrum, but this one made a lot more sense when taking the current situation into consideration. “Because none of our classmates were being loud.”

Jungwon winced slightly. Yeah, he knew that and he couldn’t really fault you for thinking it was strange that he claimed that it was too loud.

“If I tell you, will you promise to let me explain first?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Here we go. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, “I can read minds, Y/N, and you can imagine how loud it was in my head, hearing all of our classmates' thoughts at once.”

“W—What? You… read minds… what?” Jungwon nodded solemnly at your broken sentence. “That’s impossible.”

He snickered, eyes now opened as he gave you a lop-sided smile, “it isn’t Y/N, I’m literally an example that it can be possible. I’m not sure if there are others like me though.”

“Prove it then. Prove that you can read minds.”

If you can, does that mean you know that I have feelings for you? That I like you and that you probably knew all this time?

“Yeah, I know that you like me Y/N, I’ve known since my 18th birthday.” Of course, Jungwon couldn’t resist teasing you just a little bit, “I also know that you daydream a lot and that I’m always present in them. And you say that you never thought about me.” He clicked his tongue.

Your face blanched. I crave death.

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Y/N. If anything, I’m very flattered that you think so highly of me.” As reassuring Jungwon tried to sound, you can’t help but feel so. You thought you were doing a good job keeping what you felt for him buried, only to find out that he knew all this time? Gosh, all of that really had you considering moving to some remote location and changing your name while at it too.

“Please do not move and change your name. You’re gonna break my heart if you do that.”

At this point, you avoided all eye contact in favor of looking somewhere else to placate the growing need to burst into tears. It still didn’t stop you from saying something back. “Don’t. I’m very embarrassed right now and if you tease me one more time, I might actually cry.”

Jungwon couldn’t help but to laugh at the sight of you burying your face into the palms of your hands. It was cute, you were cute and maybe he did like teasing you just to see how flustered you can get. “Okay, I’ll stop teasing you, only if you look at me.”

With your face still hiding in your hand, you let out an exaggerated groan, “I don’t want to.”

“Pity, and here I thought you’d never say no to your crush.”

“Were you always this insufferable? I thought you felt like shit, why are you still teasing me when I specifically told you to quit it?” Well, at least that made you look at him, disregarding the fact that your whole demeanor screamed ‘someone please get me out of here’ or was it ‘I’m going to murder you’? Either way, you still looked absolutely adorable even if he could see murder in your eyes. Cute.

“You’re cute when you're mad, what can I say?”

You gave him a blank stare, “you’re insane.”

“Must be a side effect when you’re given mind reading powers.” Jungwon grinned, eyes twinkling in amusement when you made a weird noise. He guessed you were still reeling from the fact that he was psychic. “If it helps, I think your daydreams were pretty creative. Do you write fan-fiction during your free time?” He posed it as an innocent question, but you knew better to look right past the facade.

Sometimes you refused to believe this is who you were absolutely enamored with. He’s lucky you were willing to accept the little flaws he had; one of them being an absolute menace when he felt like it.

“I’m leaving. I asked Wonyoung to call your sister, by the way. She’s going to pick you up and take you home.” You explained as you got onto your feet.

“Wait what? You’re leaving me? Here?”

“Actually, you’re leaving me.” You corrected, “how are you feeling right now?”

He still felt some pressure pressing onto his head, so not good. “Like shit still, though this is not the first time I’ve felt like this, so I’ll be okay.” Jungwon grumbled as he massaged his temple, then peered up at you questioningly, “you do know we still need to talk, right?”

“I know. I don’t always run from things, you know?” Though the urge was still there, definitely, yet something in you told you to at least hear him out, and it’s not like Jungwon had rejected your feelings, nor did he appear like he was put off by them too. He did tell you that he was aware of it before you even started talking. “Look, I can drop by your place after class if you want.”

Jungwon’s grin was sharp and you apologized in your head for the person you will become once he opens his mouth. “Oh? What’s this? L/N Y/N taking initiative for once? You must really like me.”

You marched up to him to swat at his arm, huffing in satisfaction when he yelped on contact. Deserved. “Don’t push your luck, Yang. I can un-crush you if I want to.”

There’s another teasing smile curling at Jungwon’s lips as he soothed the spot of impact, “something tells me you won’t.”

“Stop reading my mind!” you whined, “that’s like… an invasion of privacy!” Your eyes then trailed over to your headphones still resting around his neck, “you can give those back to me later. Those can be connected by bluetooth so you’re free to use them if you want.”

Sweet. The sound quality was amazing. Jungwon briefly wondered if he’ll get more privileges if ‘the talk’ will go smoothly later. “So I’ll be seeing you at my place then? Promise?”

“Only if you promise to tell me everything about you being psychic.”

* * *

Jungwon was startled awake by a knock on his bedroom door.

With a groan, he sits up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he lets out a big yawn, “come in!”

It’s Jiwon. She poked head through the big enough gap of the door with a smug smile, “your girlfriend’s here.” She sang, snickering at the rising blush on his cheeks. “She’s in the living room playing with Maeumi. Turns out, she also couldn’t resist the fluffy thing. Right after introductions, she immediately dropped to her knees to play with him.”

Jungwon promptly smiled, completely forgetting how tired he felt at the thought of you getting along with his companion, “did she now? What time is it?”

“Quarter past 5. She just got here 5 minutes ago. Do you want me to send her in?”

“Yeah. We have some… things to talk about.”

That immediately caught her attention as she arched an eyebrow, grinning, “oh? What kind of things?���

He rolled his eyes. “None of your business. Now can you please tell her to come in?”

In retrospect, you really were ready to accept the fact that your crush on Jungwon would never be reciprocated, otherwise you wouldn’t have started imploding on yourself the moment his older sister led you to the boy’s bedroom as you held Maeumi to your chest. Who knows, maybe the little furry thing would help in keeping things less… tense.

Jungwon’s room was cleaner than you’d expected. Sure, there was some clutter here and there but it wasn’t too overbearing; call it an organized mess if you will and besides, it’s not like your room was in an immaculate state so you didn’t linger on the details for too long. Instead, you trained your eyes onto the sole reason why you willingly forgone a late afternoon nap.

The only bed in the room was pushed up against one corner and there he was, lying flat on his back, head resting on a pillow with his forearm covering his eyes.

You snickered as quietly as you could, adjusting Maeumi in your hold while you lifted up your free hand to knock, “knock knock.” you sang as you pushed the door wider open so you could crouch. “I brought a peace offering.” and that piece offering immediately jumps from your hold in favor of barking at his owner, demanding to be picked up.

There’s a small grin playing at his lips before he lifted his forearm from his face, “my own dog?” His gaze momentarily strayed away from you to give his dog some well-deserved attention, hand reaching out to pat the fluffy thing on his head. “Can’t say I’m not pleased. You may enter.” His eyes returned to you kicking the door closed with an eye roll, taking careful steps as you shrugged off your backpack.

“No, it’s okay, you can lay down if you want.” You waved him off when he was about to sit up, “I figured you’d still feel out of it.” The backpack now laid to rest against the foot of Jungwon’s bed which left you to plop with little to no grace present on the plush rug.

You weren’t wrong. He still felt groggy as shit even if he has been awake for more than twenty minutes now and you don’t seem to mind, yet he still tried to sit up a little bit, grabbing another pillow to pile it up on top of the one he was already using.

“So…” you started, placing an arm on his bed for you to rest your chin on; your free hand monopolized by Maeumi, willingly, running your fingers through his soft fur as he laid onto his stomach by your knees with a content huff. “Tell me everything.” 

“Does that include how I found out you like me?”

You burrowed the lower part of your face deeper into the crook of your arm, eyes trailing off to the side. “... yeah that too.” He resisted the urge to pat your head.

And that he did, not leaving any detail out. Jungwon told you everything you needed (read: wanted) to know; from waking up on his eleventh birthday and finding out that he can read minds, how learning to control it wasn’t as easy as he made it out to be seven years later since he became clairvoyant and of course, as per request (well, on his insistence, really) how on one fated afternoon did he find out that the token “quiet one” has been crushing on him all this time.

“And you continued being friends with me even if you knew that my intentions weren’t really platonic,” you reiterated, eyebrows furrowing at the thought, “why?”

A hum fell from his lips, “why not?”

You let out a sigh, letting your cheek meet the smooth and soft surface of his bed, “I don’t know, wasn’t it weird for you to find out that I do… like you?”

“I’ll be honest, it did catch me off-guard, but I didn’t feel… weird about it, if that makes sense.” He admitted, eyeing you for a moment before shifting his head so that he was staring up at the ceiling in contemplation. “It did make me curious though, made me curious about you since we never really talked that much, yet here you are, harboring the biggest and fattest crush on me.” 

His eyes were on you now and for the first time since you’ve had the pleasure of being acquainted with Jungwon, you didn’t shy away from his gaze and instead, met him head on, not minding the steadily spreading warmth creeping up your neck and across your cheeks as you processed the later half of his response.

The thing is, he wasn’t exactly wrong with the whole crush thing. You were very much used to the knee-jerk reaction of your face heating up whenever the guy said anything of similar caliber that involved getting a rise out of you and more often than not, he came out victorious at every attempt. Unfortunately for you, that also included this moment right now.

“You know, if you’re gonna poke fun at the fact that I like you, I might as well leave.” you muttered, pressing your face flat against his bed for a second to relish the softness of it. A few seconds later, you settled on resting your chin onto your arm again, giving Jungwon a withering look.

He made a noise of somesort. A sound of protest maybe? Point is, he didn’t look too thrilled at the idea of you leaving. “I don’t want you to though, and you’re really cute when you’re sulky. I can’t help it.”

“Charming.” came your dry reply as you sighed, grunting when you got onto your feet. “But flattery isn’t enough to make me stay, Jungwon, especially when all I’m hearing is someone who isn’t taking all of this seriously.” There was no heat behind your words, but you did try to sound sharper than your usual soft and airy lilt to get a reaction out of him, standing up for an added dramatic flair.

Needless to say, it worked, if him scrambling to sit up with the unmistakable look of panic plastered across his face was enough of a reaction, you’d say you were pretty pleased that you had some sort of leverage against him… for once.

“Wait, don’t! I just—“ Jungwon cut himself off with a groan while his head fell forward, the hand that he wasn’t using to support himself raising to cradle his forehead. “This wasn’t the way I was supposed to ask you out.”

Your jaw promptly falls open at his admission.

What.

“What?” You repeated in spite of the fact that Jungwon could probably hear you say the exact same thing in your head.

He gave you a sheepish smile in response and shrugged, “well, I did plan on telling you about my quote-unquote superpower,” he cracked his own version of a bashful grin, petting the space he made for you on the bed, then as quick as it came, it melted into a smile; much like the same demure smile you had on as a default. “But obviously it didn’t go according to plan, as you’ve seen earlier.”

“That doesn’t happen too often, right? Whatever that was.”

Jungwon shook his head, taking his time to watch you settle onto the space while he settled on resting his back against the pillows, “no, it doesn’t. It did happen often when I was younger though, so I thought that was just because I didn’t have much control over it.”

“You did mention that, yes.” you hummed, shifting to lift one of your legs up to feel more comfortable perched on top of the soft surface. “Or else it would’ve been so inconvenient if you had to go through that daily.”

“Yep and I wouldn’t want to wish that upon anyone.” He cringed at the thought. It really was one of the most unpleasant sensations he had ever felt throughout his whole life and there was some hope in him that he wouldn’t have to go through that anymore if possible. But enough of that, you weren’t here to talk about the downsides of his ability, you were here to talk; talk about whatever this is between the two of you, now that the feeling was mutual.

“I figured. As much of a nuisance you are, I guess you still have some compassion in you.”

“Oh? Was that why you were going all moony-eyed at me whenever I wasn’t looking?”

“That’s one of my reasons, sure, and I’m gonna keep it at that.” 

“Good thing I can read minds then,” he teased before letting out a light-hearted sigh, “and I am being serious about this. I do want to try all of this with you. Believe me or not, I thought it was rather cute that whenever you weren’t entirely focusing on academics, I was always the first thing—well, person you’d think of.”

The fire you had earlier from Jungwon’s banter gradually fizzled until you were back to your timid disposition as you realized the gravity of the situation; sitting that close to him and in the comfort of his bedroom too. The boy himself doesn’t seem to be perturbed by the fact that there wasn’t as much space between you both now as he continued eyeing you with an emotion you couldn’t quite figure out, swimming in the depths of his dark eyes.

“And you still thought it wasn’t weird at all? Now that you’ve basically seen everything that goes on”— you made a show of tapping your temple —”up here?”

“Well, if I did find it weird, I wouldn’t have gone out of my way to befriend you, now would I? C’mon, I've seen everything and I’m still with you, aren’t I?”

“Still… if you do plan on rejecting me, I’d totally understand.”

“Y/N, I like you. Probably just as much as you like me.” Jungwon chuckled upon hearing your breath hitch right when he reached out to tuck a loose lock of hair behind your ear. “And not to sound dramatic, but I’d lose it if somehow some rando replaced that version of me prancing around in that pretty little head of yours like he owned the place.”

As hot as your face felt from all of that, you can’t help but laugh brokenly at the description because it was kind of true. “Wow, you really have a way with words, huh? You can’t expect me not to go insane after saying all that.”

“Not as insane as me growing attached to the little scenarios of us you thought of.” It’s beyond you how Jungwon could admit all of that as if he was just talking about something ordinary, like the weather for example. Though you supposed that was one of his charms, how he wasn't really afraid to speak his mind, always ready to face whatever consequence that waited for him. “I think my favorite one was of us having a picnic in the middle of a flower field. You looked really pretty in that white sundress.”

“Yeah, you are definitely insane, taking interest in me ‘cause of my chronic daydreaming.”

“Maybe, but you still like me, right?” he spoke quieter this time, leaning in close that your foreheads pressed against each other’s, “tell me you like me.”

It was more of a soft spoken demand than a request as you took in the tone he used; firm, yes, but it still held the same type of softness he uses with you in the syllables and who were you to deny him of a request? Now that it was clear to you that this wasn’t at all one-sided, that it wasn’t unrequited like you had made yourself believe in the uncertainties that plagued your mind when the nights became too quiet.

A verbal confirmation wasn’t at all necessary. Jungwon was already made aware of the feelings you harbored for him. Still, you humored him, but not in the way either of you were expecting.

He was closer than you needed him to be, so that made things easier for you, reaching out with one hand to cup his cheek, you angled your head and kissed him.

It was a simple press of the lips. Nothing too special considering your inexperience on the matter, but pressing your plump lips against his slightly chapped pair seemed to do it just fine for him; it was enough to have Jungwon unravel in your gentle grip, having to anchor himself to reality by cupping the back of your neck as he breathed out a pleased sigh at the sensation of your lips melding together.

You weren’t faring better on your end either. Quiet as you were while having Jungwon this close to you, relishing in the fact that you could possibly be the first one who has ever gotten so close to him like this.

“I like you,” is the first string of words you breathed out when both of you parted from each other, eyes closed as you took in deep breaths to calm yourself down. “I really like you, Jungwon.”

All of this felt so surreal. You never saw yourself as the type to kiss on the first date, nor were you the type to kiss before a date could even be planned, but kissing Jungwon before you could even talk about this being official felt so right—felt so natural and you really hoped he thought the same too. Though something told you he might. Going through what he had confessed earlier, he did kind of imply that your daydreams kind of pushed him to where you both are now.

The laugh Jungwon let out was airy, out of breath, but most of all, fond as he nuzzled his nose against your cheek before his lips replaced it, “I know.” He whispered, warm air grazing his skin before actually pressing a kiss there.

You snorted, letting him do as he pleased, “of course you do, Professor X.”

“If I can remember correctly,” he pulled away as he said this, “he has telepathy. I can only read minds, not talk through them.” He corrected, leaning in to kiss the corner of your mouth. “And I like you too, Y/N. Even if you daydream too much about me.”

God, he was too much for your poor, weak heart, yet you don’t even try to stop him as he went on to press feather-light kisses across your face. You might as well die right here and right now from how fast your heart was racing. “You’re never gonna let me live that down, aren’t you?”

“Can’t say I won’t, dreamer.” 

“You’re terrible, actually.” You don’t mean it and Jungwon knew that simply because you didn’t push him away even your annoyance was evident. He was far from being so too. He wasn’t really capable of being an actual asshole even if he tried. “The worst.”

“We both know that’s not true.” He grinned and you really couldn’t deny it either, so you kissed your teeth in lieu of an actual response, making him chuckle as he tilted your chin with a finger, “kiss me again?”

“Well, since you asked so nicely…” you murmured, stealing a quick glance at his lips before your eyes flickered to meet his half-lidded gaze.

“Ah. It seems that things are going well between you two.”

Both you and Jungwon pull away from each other to look over your shoulder to see the eldest Yang sibling poised against the doorframe with the door wide open, arms crossed with a huge, triumphant grin pulling at her lips. In contrast to you who felt like spiraling in embarrassment from being caught, Jungwon looked rather annoyed at the interruption, glaring over your shoulder as Jiwon went on ahead and lifted Maeumi up in her arms, still looking far too amused at the scene before her.

“Just what do you want now, Jiwon?”

“Now now, there’s no need to be catty, Jungwonie.” He huffed when hearing you giggle, “grandma was asking if Y/N would like to stay for dinner. We can take her home later.”

“I don’t know… I don’t want to impose.”

“I’m pretty sure you’ve done a lot more than impose, kissing my baby brother and all.” At least you now know where he had gotten his playful side. The sharp cat-like gaze that matched with her grin almost mirrored Jungwon’s that it was an almost uncanny resemblance. “Speaking of, he looks like he doesn’t want to let you go just yet.” Jiwon chuckled, “I’ll leave you both to it then. Just let me know if you want to, okay?”

“Bye, Jiwon.” Jungwon promptly answered and Jiwon cackled, leaving the both of you alone.

After a beat of silence, you eyed Jungwon with uncertainty, “are you sure you want me to stay?”

“I’d love for you to stay for dinner, yeah.” He pressed a tender kiss to the space in between your furrowed eyebrows, effectively smoothening it down. “You always overthink.”

“Good thing you’re there to remind me not to, huh?”

“Well, you can definitely rely on me to quiet down the ugly thoughts in your head,” He said with so much conviction that you wanted to believe him. “And leave all the pretty ones in there for me to look at. I always thought we’d be a pretty couple, you know?”

You laughed, shaking your head, “you’re absolutely ridiculous, but I’ll hold you onto that.”

You wanted to put your faith into him, really, and looking at how determined he was, there was no doubt that Jungwon would fulfill the role just fine; and so you did, pulling him in for another heartfelt press of your lips.

A/N: Congratulations! You’ve reached the end of this absurdly long one-shot! I’m telling you, I wasn’t expecting it to reach this long oopsies! But still, I’ve had a lot of fun writing it even if there were times it frustrated me to no end (most of the times it was just me not being able to put some of my thoughts into words properly as I wanted 🗿) if you see any mistakes no you don't <3

FIC TAGLIST: @bigtoewinwin @kyutiepeachy @heeyunkist @todorokiskitten @burningsunsun @bxby-bloom @verifiedsunghoonsimp @aizzon @lil-iva @sodafy @jaemsluvr @nar-nia @pansies-garden @yamagxccciii @strwberrydinosaur @existnesia @renaishun @softpia @jiawji @sjakewrld @solxrssun @wandathescarletbitch @thisisnotjacinta @ayayiiie @itadaramaterasu @leeis @lovelymura @heatrache @vantxx95 @danyxthirstae01 @viisator @shysakuno @bearbeom @snghoonluvr @heelover5 @kuleo26 @tobiosbbyghorl @yogurteume @rcveribin @yjwnoot

@nininico @jaemcaffe @bababameme @scarletsakamura @generouspizzadonut CAN'T TAG: @ms-yuu @luciddrexm

[chilligyu]

info: lee seokmin/reader, general audiences, idol/established relationship au genre: fluff | word ct: 1k warnings: none summary: after touring for months, all seokmin wanted was to be home with the one person that gave the word meaning.

“All flights departing for South Korea have been delayed, we apologize for the inconvenience. Have a good day.”

Staring up at the departure log, Seokmin can slowly feel his lifeforce drain from his body. It’s been weeks, almost months, since he was home. It’s been weeks since he felt his own bed beneath him, weeks since he showered in his own bathroom, weeks since he’s been back in the city that holds his heart. For the longest time he lived for international concerts, he loved performing for people who despite not knowing his language, were singing along to every word. He used to get such a rush from being on stage.

But now, he hates them.

“Dokyeom, I’m sure the delay won’t last long.” Seungkwan says in an attempt to stay optimistic, a reassuring hand on his back.

“I’m about ready to walk back to Korea…” Seokmin mumbles underneath his breath.

The rest of the group is completely aware of how their happy virus has been feeling for the past few days. If it had been a short tour, he’d be fine. But he’s been itching to get back since the moment they left. He tried to be his usual sunshine self for the others, they just know him too well to be fooled by the act.

Throwing his bag into a random seat, he plops down and pulls out his headphones, signalling the others to leave him alone for the time being. Unlocking his phone a sad smile creases his lips.

17:09 LOML: text me before you get on the plane!! 17:09 LOML: I miss you lots!! 17:09 LOML: woojoo misses you too!! 17:09 LOML: 🐶 17:09 LOML: can’t wait to see you tonight!!

Chuckling at his girlfriend’s excessive use of exclamation points, and her excessive cuteness, he dials her number and puts his phone to his ear. One ring, two—

“DK!” She practically beams, clearly not expecting a call.

“Hey babe,” He starts, his entire presence softening at the sound of her voice, “how is everything at home?”

“Good, good!” She exclaims. “It’ll be better once you’re back, though. It’s lonely here without you and the boys. But mostly you.”

Seokmin shakes his head and sighs. “I know, and that’s partially why I called you.”

“Why does that—oh no.” She mutters in realization. “How much longer?”

“I don’t know.” He admits honestly, pinching the bridge of his nose. “All flights to Korea are delayed. There’s nothing I can do.”

Clearly just as unhappy as he is, she whines at the news. “Will this is what I get for dating a rockstar. Busy, busy, busy.”

“I know, baby, I’m sorry—"

“It’s not your fault, DK.” She reassures him. “I don’t mind you coming home late, so long as you come home healthy.”

“I don’t deserve you.” He admits with a smile.

“Wrong.” She states plainly. “You deserve the best. And I’m definitely the best girlfriend. Wanna know why?”

He decides to play along. “Why?”

“I bought us matching sweaters!” She exclaims, proud as can be.

Seokmin couldn’t help it as a sincere laugh bubbled past his lips. “I can’t wait to try it on.”

“The boys are going to be so jealous.” She practically cackles.

“They better be.” He snickers just as he catches her yawning from the other end. “Baby, it’s late. Get some rest.”

Still yawning, he can hear her whining again. “But I don’t want to go…”

“Neither do I, but you need to stay healthy too.” He says. “What if you get sick before I come back? You don’t want me to worry, do you?”

“Mmm… no…” She admits, obviously tired. “Okay, if you insist. I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“Definitely.” He states. “Even if I have to swim back.”

“Oh DK.” She giggles. “Don’t do that.”

“I won’t.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Okay. Goodnight, DK, I love you, come back soon!”

“I will. I love you too.”

Click.

The delay lasted for four hours. Four. Whole. Hours. And to Seokmin it felt like an eternity and then some. When he finally got off the plane, it was five in the morning, everyone was exhausted and ready to go to bed. And instead of hopping in the van back to the dorms, a mere 15 minutes away, he got a cab and went straight to his apartment. Despite the manager's attempts to talk him out of it. By the time he pulled onto his street, the sun was just starting to rise. Getting out of the cab, his suitcase dragging behind him, he inhaled as deeply as he could.

Finally, finally, he’s home.

Leaving his luggage inside the front door and kicking off his shoes, Seokmin quietly ascends the stairs. Coming to the main level, a familiar scent of citrus soothed his senses, he’s missed all this. As carefully as he could manage, he starts to tiptoe over to the bedroom. Getting closer, he can already hear the charming snores of his favorite puppy and his beloved girlfriend.

With Woojoo at her feet, she’s got the comforter all wrapped up in her arms all while she’s curled up into a little ball. She looks absolutely adorable. Woojoo wakes up first, blinking, yawning, and shaking his head. It takes every ounce of strength that Seokmin possesses not to coo over the cuteness.

“Morning Woojoo.” He whispers, scratching him behind the ears. “Thank you for keeping mama safe.”

Letting out a small yip of happiness, Woojoo starts licking Seokmin’s hand before jumping down and trotting over to his water bowl.

“Dammit, Joo!” Seokmin hisses quietly through his teeth. “Don’t wake her up!”

“Hmm…” She stirs suddenly, causing Seokmin’s heart to stop beating.

He realizes it’s a false alarm as she rolls over and releases the comforter. Sighing in relief, he starts pulling off his clothes so he can change into something more comfortable. Careful not to wake her, he stealthily pulls a pillow from the bed and starts tiptoeing back out into the living room. Unfortunately for him, he’s not that stealthy.

“Seokmin?” A sleepy voice asks, rubbing her eyes.

Shoot. He curses silently. “Go back to sleep, baby, it’s still early.”

“Okay…” She mumbles, laying back down.

Once her head hit the pillow, Seokmin tries to leave again.

“Wait, where are you going?” She protests, lifting herself onto her elbows.

“I didn’t want to wake you, I was going to sleep on the couch.” He admits quietly.

Her cheeks puff out as she pouts. “Well, I’m awake now.”

Sitting up, she extends her arms towards him. Which Seokmin has learned over the years to mean “come hold me”, and what kind of boyfriend is he if he denies her? Chuckling, he puts the pillow back and leans down to kiss his beloved, something he’s been dying to do for weeks. As she hums happily, he climbs into bed beside her, lifting the comforter over both of them before wrapping his arms around her.

Feeling her body against him for the first time in a long while, Seokmin unconsciously nuzzles into her neck, inhaling the familiar scent of her vanilla lotion. Holding her close, he can feel the lethargy start to kick in. The jetlag plus the fact that he got absolutely zero sleep on the plane is enough to knock anyone out. He just wants to hold her for a bit longer.

“Welcome home, Seokmin…” She whispers.

Kissing her bare shoulder, he laces their fingers together, a blissful smile creasing his face. For the first time in a long while, he’s really truly home.

[enhypenwriters]

🛑 Warning 18+ Content 🛑

Read at own risk

Member: Jay

[qobiin]

fluffy, soft junior quartet 👉👈

we will never lose our way

pairing: platonic junior quartet, very background wangxian 

genre: fluff | post-canon compliant 

warnings: mentioned yi city, implied violence 

a/n #1: despite the angst of the scene this gif is from, there is no angst to be found here! this is just soft, platonic cuddle puddles galore so thank you for giving me an excuse to write that! title is taken from seventeen’s “together” bc that is junior quartet’s theme song to a T, are you joking kaljdskljf pls give it a listen and look up the lyrics if need be and you’ll understand what i mean <3

words: 1200 

summary: ...Lan Sizhui is certain his friends are worth every bit of trouble and inconvenience they bring.

“So,” Lan Jingyi says as they are walking through the trees in the middle of the night. “How long do you think it took Hanguang-Jun and Senior Wei to get together exactly?”

Lan Sizhui takes his eyes off the surrounding woods to silently peer at his friend. Lan Jingyi only raises a brow in question, determination set in his shoulders as they come to a stop.

“Is this really the time for that?” Lan Sizhui finally manages to say.

Lan Jingyi shrugs, mouth already opening to respond when Ouyang Zizhen cuts in. “For the sake of proving true love is real to Jin Ling, please answer the question.”

“Can we please focus on the ghost we were sent out to find?” Lan Sizhui asks at the same time that Jin Ling exclaims, “True love? Don’t make me laugh!”

Lan Sizhui sighs and mentally prepares himself for the argument to come. He is certain they won’t be getting much done tonight now that this topic of conversation has begun. Lan Sizhui would respectfully like to be omitted from this, but considering how stubborn all three of his closest friends are about Hanguang-Jun’s and Senior Wei’s marriage, he finds that a lack of involvement from him will be unlikely. His friends will inevitably say or do something that Lan Sizhui will have to smooth over before a genuine fight breaks out amongst them.

He loves his friends, but sometimes, they can be a little too much for him.

“Hanguang-Jun and Senior Wei are the embodiment of true love,” Ouyang Zizhen sighs dreamily.

Jin Ling shoves his arm, ignoring Ouyang Zizhen’s pout and Lan Jingyi’s protests. “True love is not a thing! Get your head out of those trashy romances you love to read and into the real world!”

Lan Sizhui winces at his friends’ volume. “We are in the middle of a night hunt. Can this not wait?”

He almost laughs when Jin Ling, Lan Jingyi, and Ouyang Zizhen all exchange glances with one another before turning to face him, simultaneously answering, “No.”

He is not laughing when in the next moment, the ghost they have been searching for appears and leads them straight into the jaws of a beast. Lan Sizhui is only faintly relieved that his friends are able to forget whatever differences they had when confronted with danger.

Much later, after they have fought off the beast and put the ghost to rest, Lan Sizhui finds himself sprawled across the floor of the room Jin Ling and Ouyang Zizhen are sharing in the town’s only inn.

Lan Jingyi’s legs are tangled with his own, Jin Ling curled up in the small space between them while Ouyang Zizhen lies with his head pillowed on Lan Sizhui’s chest. He finds himself playing with the ends of Ouyang Zizhen’s hair absentmindedly, his other arm being used as a pillow by Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi. They had all separated to shower and dress in their sleeping robes, their hair down or braided for the night. Lan Sizhui’s hair is still mostly damp and will be tangled when they finally get up from the floor, but for now, no one is inclined to move.

Being able to feel three other beating hearts and hearing their breaths all around him soothes Lan Sizhui. The first time they did this was after Yi City, after Hanguang-Jun had marched past them up the stairs with a tray of alcohol, and after he reappeared with a blustering Senior Wei trudging along behind him. Lan Sizhui had followed Lan Jingyi to Ouyang Zizhen’s room afterward, still trying to burn the image of Senior Wei’s hands tied up with Hanguang-Jun’s forehead ribbon out of his head. He had been surprised to find Jin Ling there, but the haunted look on his young face was enough to keep even Lan Jingyi from teasing him for long. 

Just not long enough.

It had felt like no time had passed at all before Lan Sizhui found himself in between Jin Ling’s and Lan Jingyi’s newest argument, except this one somehow ended with them sprawled across the floor. Jin Ling claims he had been aiming for Lan Jingyi but he had caught Lan Sizhui instead and they all tumbled when Ouyang Zizhen tripped in his haste to separate them.

Lan Sizhui was the first to laugh as he stared up at the ceiling from the floor, Jin Ling plastered to his right and Lan Jingyi struggling to untangle their legs so he could sit up and hit Jin Ling in retaliation. Ouyang Zizhen began to giggle and settled himself more comfortably on Lan Sizhui’s left, hiding his face in Lan Sizhui’s hair when Jin Ling’s complaining became louder.

Eventually, Lan Jingyi and Jin Ling had also laughed at the hilarity of the situation and they had laid out on that floor, giggling to themselves until their exhaustion caught up to them.

Jin Ling’s face was bright red when he had sat up and darted out of the room quickly, not sparing any of them a word but they all knew. The simple reassurance of other people living and breathing in their space was enough to settle them after the grim day they had just experienced. There would be no teasing each other for this.

None of them had quite expected it to become a tradition since they had never run into each other for night hunts as often as they did now, but it had. Now it is a sacred, unspoken ritual they do not mention in the light of day. Regardless of whether they acknowledge it or not, they all find comfort in each other.

This intimacy between friends is not something Lan Sizhui had ever envisioned for himself. He had counted himself lucky to have a friend like Lan Jingyi at all while he was growing up. He was Hanguang-Jun’s ward and favored disciple, the unofficial Lan Sect Heir. Not many children had the confidence to approach him and treat him as normally as Lan Jingyi had. Lan Sizhui had been certain at one point that if he could only call Lan Jingyi his friend, then his life would be full. 

He is grateful he realized how dim and dull his life would be if he did not know Jin Ling and Ouyang Zizhen as well as he does in the present time though. Having friends he can be himself with is the greatest source of joy in Lan Sizhui’s life. He is not anything except a friend when he is with them.

“So,” Lan Jingyi breaks their comfortable silence with, his voice thick with amusement. “You never answered me, but do you know how long it took your parents to get together?”

Lan Sizhui sighs as Jin Ling and Ouyang Zizhen play right into Lan Jingyi’s clutches. Jing Ling is loud and stubborn while Ouyang Zizhen is softer in his approach, awe shadowing every word he speaks. Lan Jingyi only interjects to keep the argument going. None of them drag Lan Sizhui into the conversation at least.

Even despite this exhausting and recurring argument, Lan Sizhui is certain his friends are worth every bit of trouble and inconvenience they bring.

a/n #2: thanks for reading! i have more mdzs content in the works rn, but in the meantime, feel free to send requests or headcanons to my inbox bc i will probably welcome them all owo

[chilligyu]

info: yoon jeonghan/reader, pg, post-breakup au genre: angst | word ct: 1k warnings: none summary: when it comes to a broken heart, sometimes even the best memories are better left forgotten.

It’s just a dinner. You found yourself telling your reflection. It’s just a couple of hours, I can handle that.

Usually you didn’t need to give yourself a pep talk to get out the door, but that day was different. That day was going to be difficult to say the least. It was the first family event you’d been to since you—since he broke up with you. Since he took your heart in his hand and crushed it. What made it even worse, was that your family loved him, he was the life of the party, kind and considerate. They were hoping you would marry him. And, well, as much as you shared their sentiments, he evidently had different plans for his life.

“I can’t do this anymore, I’m sorry.”

Those were the exact words out of his mouth, and you’re pretty sure they’ll haunt you for the rest of your life. But, you had to move on. Your life couldn’t come to a complete halt because of one heartbreak. Even if it made it hard for you to get up in the morning. So you sucked it up, you put on your big girl pants and went to that dinner with your chin held high. When in actuality you really wish you’d stayed home.

You weren’t even two steps in the door when you were bombarded with questions. How’s work? How’s school going? Did you get that promotion? Is that a tattoo? The list went on and on and on. Obviously they didn’t ask questions about him, that would be too brash, but the way they were pointedly asking about everything else made it painfully clear. They all wanted to ask, just didn’t have the balls to. Somehow that was worse.

So you answered their questions with a smile, told them what they wanted to hear, you built that wall up three months ago and you’d be damned if you let them break through. Once they exhausted their false interest in your personal life, you headed over to the bar to grab yourself a much needed drink. Braving the rest of the evening was far less daunting with a bit of liquid courage coursing through you.

As it got closer to a socially acceptable time where you could make your escape, you thought you were in the clear. Even your nosey mother didn’t go prying into what happened with him, something you deeply appreciated. For all intents and purposes, you were off the hook. Of course, you’ve never been that lucky, that would’ve been far too easy.

“Aunty?” You heard a very familiar voice call up to you.

“Hani!” You exclaimed when you looked down to see your most favorite niece in the whole world. “Where have you been hiding?”

She stuck her thumb in her mouth and pointed at her brothers. “I was playing with Daesun and Daeyong. They got new dinosaurs.”

“Whoa!” You said enthusiastically. “New dinosaurs! That’s amazing! I wish I had new dinosaurs.”

“Mm.” She hummed, her wide eyes looking up at you expectantly. “Where’s Jeonghan?”

Gone.

Not even meaning to, you suddenly remembered him packing his bags, you remembered begging him to stay. You desperately wanted to talk, to figure it all out, but he made it clear that he only wanted to leave. He didn’t love you anymore. Forcing him to keep dating someone he wasn’t interested in was torture.

“Jeonghan,” You said, choking on each syllable, “please, please, don’t do this. Let’s sit down, let’s talk about this—”

“Why?” He practically spat. “It’s over, nothing you say is going to change that.”

His cold tone stopped you in your tracks. “Why—why are you acting like this? Like—like you don’t care...”

“Maybe I don’t.” He returned vehemently. “Ever think of that?”

One thing you were grateful of, was that his words didn’t leave any room to question. You’ve broken up with a handful of other guys, but you always cushioned the blow, broke their hearts instead of shattering them. Maybe Jeonghan learned from your mistakes, because you didn’t doubt him at all. It was over in an instant. It was over and you were painfully alone.

You plastered a forced smile on your face as you kneeled down beside her. “He’s not living with me anymore, I’m sorry Hani.”

“Why not?” Hani asked innocently.

Please don’t. “We’re not together anymore.”

“But you love him.” She persisted, her words cutting deep.

“Why are you acting like this? Like you don’t care?”

“Maybe I don’t. Ever think of that?”

Fighting back tears, you nodded. “That’s right. I do.”

She cocked her head in confusion. “Then why?”

Feeling your resolve break, you offered her a sad smile as you stroked her hair. “Because, love isn’t always enough.”

Before you had an emotional breakdown in front of the entire family, you ran into the bathroom and locked the door behind you. For months you’d been telling myself that you were fine, that if he didn’t want to be with you anymore then you would let him go. You’d let him be happy. He didn’t love you and that was okay. You were okay. Those were lies, all lies, and as you dropped to the floor, your body shaking, you sobbed harder than you ever had before.

Why? You asked yourself for the hundredth time. Why did he leave? We were happy, we were going to start a life together. He told me that he loved me, was it—was it all a lie?

Wrapping your arms around your knees, you tried your hardest to bury yourself in your regret. You thought you were okay. I was okay. As your vision started to get blurry, you could only think of all the times you were happy together. You were happy for three years, you were perfect for three years.

Wiping at your persistent tears, you pulled out your phone. Opening Instagram, you immediately let out a quiet laugh. You hadn’t changed your profile picture yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to. It was a picture of the gigantic Kumamon plushie he won for you at the fair standing upright beside you, making you look comically small in comparison.

Hesitantly, you scrolled through your account, a sad smile creasing your face as you remembered the memories behind the pictures. The two of you were happy, that much was clear. The three years you spent together wasn’t a lie. His brilliant smile was the brightest part of your life. You had laughed together about everything, shared a love of music, a desire to create a life together, it was hard to think that it was all over in one evening. How he said only a few words to you and left forever.

I miss him. You finally admitted to yourself. I miss him so much.

Tears still rolling down your cheeks, you couldn’t help but smile. Even though he left, even though you weren’t sure if you’d ever see him again, you still had a piece of him that he left with you. And it wasn’t on your phone. It wasn’t the pictures, it wasn’t the posts on facebook or the late night talks on Kakao, it was the memories. Because, no matter how often you tried to convince yourself otherwise, you were in love, and you were happy. And that would never leave you.

Would you like to delete your account?

You hesitated only slightly, your finger hovering over your phone. With one last look at the physical proof of your happiness with Jeonghan and your life together, you made your decision.

YES.

[enhypenwriters]

Gif credit: @kimsunoo

I’m not a writer...so please don’t judge me too hard heheh😅

Hottie

☆Pairing: Heeseung X Reader

☆Genre: fluff..? Idk

☆Warnings: none

☆Synopsis: How can one guy be so attractive

Written by Admin Anna🦦

—————————————

You were hanging out at the boys dorm as usual. You were relaxing on the couch, with Heeseung and Jay playing Nintendo next to you. As you scrolled on Instagram, you saw a YouTube notification popped up. “AHHAHAHAHAH” you screamed and sat up. Jay and Heeseung jumped and looked at you.

You squealed, “The new teaser is out for Given-Taken.” You grabbed the remote to change to YouTube. The two boys groaned. “Oh my gosh, you can get back to your game, but we have to watch this.”

Even though they didn’t show it, you could tell the boy were kinda excited to see too. As you watched your mouth dropped. How could you boyfriend be so hot. When it was over the Jay and Heeseung looked over at you, but you were frozen. “Y/n?” Heeseung poked your cheek.

“LEE HEESEUNG!!” You turned and grabbed his face, “WHO SAID YOU COULD BE THIS HOT!! OH MY LORD!” He blushed, “Nah...”

“Are you kidding me?!?” You rewinded the video. “Look my baby...whoa..” you fanned yourself. You leaned over and looked at Jay “Jay, if you know that guy in the center, hook me up.” Jay laughed, “You got it.” He fist bumped you. Heeseung rolled his eyes, “I’m the guy in the middle...” You smiled and you leaned over and started pecking his face, “I know...my handsome love” Heeseung pouted, “You missed a spot.” He pointed to his lips. You couldn’t resist his puppy eyes.

Jay looked at you two with disgust, “Goodbye.” You and Heeseung laughed, “But seriously babe, I did not ask to be attack with your visual.” Heeseung pulled you closer and kissed you, “What about me? You’re my beautiful Y/n.”

[qobiin]

(he doesn’t exist now) survived by his son

pairings: lan wangji & lan sizhui, background wangxian

genre: angst, fluff | canon-compliant, post-wei wuxian’s death

warnings: grief/mourning, canon-typical mentions of violence, lwj’s punishment, the inherent agony of living without the other half of your soul

a/n #1: this is for eri, the one who got me to watch cql in the first place. happy birthday, i hope today is amazing! have 9k of dad!lwj as a treat <3 title is taken from steven universe’s “drift away” btw (:

words: 9398

summary: When Wei Wuxian falls, Lan Wangji does not throw himself after him.

part one of always come back to you 

When Wei Wuxian falls, Lan Wangji does not throw himself after him.

He has no idea why at the time.

His heart and will are in shambles. His grip on Bichen’s sheath is hard enough to turn his knuckles white. His ribbon burns against his forehead. He is unsure that he is even breathing, all his air having left him when he screamed the moment Wei Wuxian pulled away.

Still, he remains standing, horror engulfing him whole. Sect Leader Jiang is standing beside him, just as frozen as he is but he does not dare look at his soulmate’s brother. His soulmate’s murderer because Wei Wuxian only pulled out of Lan Wangji’s grasp after Sect Leader Jiang’s sword struck the cliff face. Sect Leader Jiang may have pulled the blow Lan Wangji knew was aimed for their arms, but it does not change the fact that Wei Wuxian let go.

Something urges him to not follow after Wei Wuxian and he is uncertain of what it could be at first. It feels familiar, like a sensation Lan Wangji should recognize but cannot remember anymore. Almost like the notes of a song Lan Wangji memorized when he was first starting on the guqin but is unable to pinpoint where he learned it from.

(Later, he will think it felt too much like a warm hand on his chest pushing him away from the edge, pushing him away from the place his heart broke for good.

All he knows for certain is that he also died the moment Wei Wuxian took his last breath.)

He drifts - for lack of a better word - after that. Lan Wangji only recalls Brother pulling him away from the cliff, from Nightless City and the many eyes of the cultivators he just clashed swords with. He returns to Cloud Recesses with Brother and secludes himself in the Jingshi. 

For the first night, Lan Wangji does not sleep. When he closes his eyes, all he sees is Wei Wuxian letting go again.

He is unsure of how much time passes but at some point Brother comes to him with the news that the Lanling Jin Sect are going to lead a siege on the Burial Mounds. Wei Wuxian’s corpse had not been recovered after the battle at Nightless City and Jin Guangshan is still vying for the Stygian Tiger Amulet so their logical next step is to invade the resentful land where Wei Wuxian had tried in vain to start a family all on his own.

Lan Wangji leaves on foot after curfew but that is the last thing on his mind as his body moves almost against his will. For a while, it feels as if he is wandering without a purpose.

Confusion, pain, and grief wrack his frame every second of the day but there is still a familiar sensation tugging him along. Pulling him in a direction that he is certain he should recognize but can’t.

It is not until the sun rises above the horizon that he realizes where exactly his body is trying to go.

Yiling.

Lan Wangji rides his sword the rest of the way there.

It is not as quiet as Lan Wangji expected it to be.

That bothers him. A graveyard should only be filled with the sounds of the living giving tribute, but there is only the dead around him. The dead are quiet. The Burial Mounds aren’t.

He walks anyway, ignoring the pain in his body. The familiar sensation is tugging him along again. Lan Wangji is too tired to wonder about where it may be leading him because he gave up control as soon as it had gripped onto him. It pulls and he follows. It would not have led him here without a purpose, he is certain of that at least.

In the cave Wei Wuxian used to call his home, there is nothing left of him except his notes, hand-made furniture that will no longer see any use, and a dirty red ribbon Lan Wangji falls to his knees at the sight of. He loses himself in grief for who knows how long but soon realizes that his gasping breaths are not the only ones echoing around him. He stands, ribbon tied around his wrist, and walks desperately in search of the source of those raspy breaths.

He stops in front of a broken, hollow tree trunk not far from the entrance of the cave. Something is lying in it, barely hidden from view. For a moment, Lan Wangji ponders whether he will be stumbling upon the corpse of someone he should know but can’t quite recall. He only visited the Burial Mounds once while his soulmate was still alive, after all, and he had never learned everyone’s names.

Lan Wangji glances inside and knows now why it is not as quiet as it should in the Burial Mounds. Lan Wangji suddenly understands why he did not follow Wei Wuxian in death.

Wen Yuan lives.

Wei Wuxian’s son lives.

Their son lives.

Lan Wangji does not wish to, but he turns his back on Wen Yuan’s prone form and returns to the cave.

Cultivators are gathering there, all of them from different sects.

There is no Jiang purple among them. Lan Wangji counts that as the blessing it is meant to be. He does not wish to hurt those his soulmate cared so much for.

It does not stop him from confronting the crowd by himself. Jin Guangyao appears, telling him his uncle has arrived but Lan Wangji is unafraid.

He knows what he stands for and it is not this. It is not this inane scramble for power the rest of the cultivation world is allowing to cloud their minds and judgment. It is standing between the power-hungry and the weak, unwilling to move aside and let this madness continue. 

Lan Wangji is late in his decision, much too late to make things up to Wei Wuxian, but Wen Yuan is alive. A piece of his soulmate’s heart lives on and Lan Wangji is not going to allow harm to befall that little boy anymore.

So he fights those from his own sect, raising his sword to block blows from disciples of all ages. The Sect Elders themselves have shown up for the occasion but Lan Wangji cuts them down as well. He fights until there is no one to fight anymore, staggering and using Bichen as a crutch while cultivators lay around him on the ground in various stages of unconsciousness.

Uncle had only stayed long enough to command their sect in subduing him and bringing him back to Cloud Recesses for punishment. Lan Wangji does not wish to be punished, not when he now knows he is being righteous, but he walks back to the tree trunk hiding Wen Yuan and decides he will take them both back.

Wen Yuan needs medical attention, needs Lan Wangji’s protection from the rest of the world. Lan Wangji needs to keep him safe.

Wen Yuan is hot to the touch but he fits easily hidden under the folds of Lan Wangji’s robes. His head lies against his chest, his hair tickling Lan Wangji’s skin even through two layers of cloth.

It isn’t uncomfortable in the way that certain fabrics tend to be for him. Lace and silk are two of the few fabrics Lan Wangji can stand to have wrapped around him in six layers of robes without feeling like he is about to crawl out of his skin. Wen Yuan’s hair is neither of those but having it against him does not do anything more than cause his veins to break into song and make his heart feel like it is going to beat right out of his chest trying to follow the melody racing in his blood.

(It feels like Wei Wuxian’s hair against his neck, Wei Wuxian’s teasing grin directed at him in the face of his newest prank. Like Wei Wuxian laid across his lap in the darkness of a cave, delirious with fever, and asking Lan Wangji to play some music. Feels like Wei Wuxian meeting his gaze under the heavy downpour of rain, telling Lan Wangji that if he believes the rest of the cultivation world as right then Wei Wuxian will do everything their way instead and Lan Wangji being unable to say anything while he watches his soulmate lead the Wen remnants away.)

Lan Wangji’s eyes itch but he ignores his tears, his pain, his grief. He focuses on holding Wen Yuan securely in his embrace as he rides his sword back to Cloud Recesses, finding the strength to dredge up more spiritual power than he thought he originally had.

He remembers the little boy with a thin, dirty face who burst into tears after he settled his weight on Lan Wangji’s foot. After Wen Yuan gripped his ankle, and then looked up at him with a confused look in his almond-shaped eyes. After those villagers mistook him as Wen Yuan’s father and criticized him loudly enough to evoke shame within him since Lan Wangji had no idea what to do with a crying child suddenly invading his space. After Wei Wuxian swept in like a long-awaited dream and cleared the area of onlookers. After Wei Wuxian picked up the child and smiled up at Lan Wangji as if his heart was not doing its utmost best to beat right out of his chest and into the hands of the man he loved most.

After the boy smiled up at him and called him Rich-gege when he bought him as many toys as he wanted. After he paid for a large meal that fed both him and Wei Wuxian because their collarbones were prominent enough to tell Lan Wangji all he needed to know about their financial situation and just looking at them caused his breath to stutter in his chest. And after Wei Wuxian up and left again, taking the child and Lan Wangji’s weak heart with him, only leaving Lan Wangji himself bereft and more confused than he had ever felt before.

(“The child.” Lan Wangji remembers asking when Wei Wuxian first pulled the boy from Lan Wangji’s leg.

“He’s mine. I birthed him,” Wei Wuxian had said half-jokingly and half not at the same time.

It was obvious that the boy was Wei Wuxian’s in everything but blood. That made him Lan Wangji’s by extension. Wei Wuxian had been the one to proclaim them soulmates, more than brave enough to speak the words Lan Wangji had been holding back for years by then. Even if they would never marry or become partners in the manner that Lan Wangji desperately wished for, Wei Wuxian still looked upon him and saw Lan Wangji for who he really was.

When the time came for Wei Wuxian to have children, Lan Wangji would treat them well and spoil them in Wei Wuxian’s steed. Something he was more than able to do when he met Wen Yuan, Wei Wuxian’s son.

After all, any child of Wei Wuxian’s was also a child of Lan Wangji as well.)

When Lan Wangji first reached into the tree trunk and pulled him out, Wen Yuan’s face was still dirty, thinner than before, and flushed bright red. His little body was swathed in what Lan Wangji could only call rags and he shivered even as he sweated. 

Wen Yuan still feels feverishly hot against Lan Wangji’s chest but he pushes down his panic and rides. He does not stop until he has reached the entrance of Cloud Recesses and walks briskly towards the closest healer he can find.

There he watches as Wen Yuan is washed up, dressed in a clean white robe, and given enough medicine to help ease him into a peaceful sleep. Lan Wangji’s arm pulses where his wound has reopened but his pain can wait, ensuring that the child is well and can be healed is more important. Only once Wen Yuan’s breathing has returned to normal does Lan Wangji seek out Uncle.

Fortunately, he finds Brother with their uncle in the Jingshi. They have been expecting him and finding them together makes this next part easier.

He sidesteps their questions of what he had been doing at the Burial Mounds and inhales deeply before he says, “I accept punishment. I brought a child. He is my son and innocent.”

Uncle looks like he is going to explode at the seams, fury and worry shadowing every plane of his face. Lan Wangji grips onto Bichen’s sheath, the familiar pattern and texture calming him. 

It would be easy to claim the boy as his ward and adoptive son at best, but Lan Wangji needs to hide Wen Yuan’s origins or the last piece of his soulmate’s heart will be destroyed as violently as the rest of Wei Wuxian was. Lan Wangji will allow no harm to come to their son. If all that is required to keep Wen Yuan safe is the last of Lan Wangji’s credibility to be thrown away, then Lan Wangji is prepared to claim him as his bastard son.

“His name is Lan Yuan and he is ill. I will return to his bedside and await word of my punishment.” Lan Wangji bows to both men present and leaves as quickly as he appeared, not waiting to listen to whatever protests they may have.

Wen Yuan is still asleep when Lan Wangji returns and asleep still when Lan Wangji receives his punishment. Brother stays with Wen Yuan while the punishment is dealt out. Lan Wangji did not wish to leave his son alone but knowing that Brother is with him eases him.

Brother cannot interfere with his punishment after his initial attempts were drowned under the maliciousness of the Sect Elders and Uncle’s unmoving gaze. Brother would lose a lot more than just face within the Gusu Lan Sect if he denied Lan Wangji punishment altogether. As Sect Leader, Brother must be fair and unbiased, even when confronted with familial matters. Lan Wangji refuses to be the reason his brother loses all credibility in the cultivation world. Whatever others want to say or do to Lan Wangji is his business alone.

The pain of the whip is welcoming to him. Uncle appears furious throughout it all, but even through the haze, Lan Wangji knows it is not just him Uncle is angry with. Both the whip and Uncle’s disappointment are excruciating to bear and yet Lan Wangji does not find himself regretting his actions. 

He knew what would happen at Nightless City when he decided he would protect Wei Wuxian despite how out of favor he was with the rest of the cultivation world. When he fought any cultivator that decided they wanted to harm Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji thought Wei Wuxian was finally going to be safe. He believed himself capable of protecting what little remained of his soulmate’s efforts. Even after he failed in protecting Wei Wuxian, he found Wen Yuan and fought his own sect to keep this last speck of his soulmate’s presence safe. Despite the chaos, the grief, and the complete ruin of Wei Wuxian’s reputation, Lan Wangji knew whose side he would be on when push finally came to shove. He has known ever since he was first confronted with that mischievous smile at age fifteen. 

He had hoped that Wei Wuxian was aware of this as well but now he will never know for certain.

When the punishment is over, Brother is summoned and between him and Uncle, Lan Wangji finds himself being dragged first to the Cold Springs then back to the Jingshi between them, their gaits and grips unsteady alike. They dress his wounds as best as they can and stay with him the entire first night. Lan Wangji lies face down on his bed, sleep evading him for a long, long time while Brother and Uncle sleep propped against his bed frame and table respectfully. 

Lan Wangji withdraws from the eyes of the rest of the sect as he starts the slow healing process the healers are being forbidden from helping him with. His silence, which used to be something he took solace in, only grows as the days slowly tick by with Brother and Uncle by his side during the day. Only in the dark of night does he allow himself to hope in vain for a familiar, obnoxious voice to draw his attention away from the pain covering the expanse of his back and nestled deep within his heart.

Nothing comes except a heavy grief Lan Wangji is not prepared to handle.

Moments before Wen Yuan wakes four days later, Lan Xichen adds him to the clan registry and proclaims him as Lan Yuan, Lan Wangji’s son.

Lan Wangji is joyous even as his chest burns with the new Wen brand marring his skin and his mind struggles not to crumble under the guilt of what he revealed to his Brother the night before when he was intoxicated.

Lan Yuan doesn’t seem to notice either way as he begins to sob for his Xian-gege before his fever burns all his memories of a smiling man in black and red away.

Lan Yuan is a quiet child.

He is respectful, intelligent, and curious. He smiles more often than Lan Wangji does, but less often than Lan Wangji had expected. He does not remember anything from the time before he came to live at Cloud Recesses, only that he was hungry often and had met Lan Wangji once.

He studies diligently and accepts any praise or criticism his peers and teachers give to him. He becomes close friends with Lan Jingyi and develops a mischievous streak that none of the teachers could ever possibly trace back to Lan Yuan. Lan Wangji finds he isn’t concerned about this in the least. His son is still a child and children are allowed to have mindless fun now and again. 

When Lan Yuan calls him Father for the first time, it is seven months after he has been brought to Cloud Recesses. Nevertheless, Lan Wangji feels that same sensation that led him to his son stroke the dying embers in his heart until a new flame of fierce parental love begins to burn within him. He holds his son close and cries freely. Lan Wangji is not ashamed of loving his son so severely that being called Father for the first time brings him to tears.

It is an honor to be Lan Yuan’s father.

Despite that, whispered rumors begin to reach his ears in seclusion. 

At the next Discussion Conference that just so happens to be held by the Gusu Lan Sect, Lan Wangji comes out of seclusion briefly. Brother helps prop him up at various tables and leads him from event to event with the ever-present eyes of the cultivation world trailing after them. It is incredibly painful to do even this much, but Lan Wangji perseveres. He is the same stoic and cold Hanguang-Jun that he has always been but that does not seem to stop Sect Leader Jiang from glaring at him. 

He says nothing to Lan Wangji, but when a fussy Jin Rulan is handed to him as they are overseeing the archery competition, Sect Leader Jiang’s glare increases in intensity. It only becomes worse when the caretaker in charge of Lan Yuan for the day appears by Lan Wangji’s side with his teary son close behind her. She quickly explains that Lan Yuan would not stop crying for him and, not knowing what to do, brought him there in the hopes that Lan Wangji would be able to calm him down. Lan Wangji gives her his thanks and nods his head as she excuses herself, holding Lan Yuan close as the boy quiets. He falls asleep not long after that in Lan Wangji’s lap, tired now that he has finished crying himself out. 

Lan Wangji ignores all the eyes trained on him and merely brushes his son’s hair back absentmindedly as he looks to the archers once more. Sect Leader Jiang scoffs not far from him and Lan Wangji spares him a glance to see the annoyance and rage clear as day on his face before ignoring him for the rest of the Discussion Conference.

What Lan Wangji knows from that moment onwards is that no one would have the gall to openly say what they mean when he is near, yet still, he listens closely when he can.

They speak of Lan Yuan’s already apparent beauty and intelligence. They speak of his polite manners and soft-spoken words. They speak of how quickly he developed his golden core and how unsurprising this news was considering who his father is. They speak of his parentage and wonder who his mother could be and how beautiful she must have been to have such an attractive child with Hanguang-jun.

(They always wonder why Lan Wangji never married Lan Yuan’s other parent back when they were still alive.)

No one ever learns of Lan Yuan’s true origins in any case so Lan Wangji allows the rumors and speculations. He does, however, make a point of asking Brother to hand out mild punishments to those who have not learned how to keep their heads and voices low when he is home.

After all, gossiping is not permitted in Cloud Recesses.

A year after Lan Yuan’s arrival in Cloud Recesses, Brother becomes his Uncle.

“A-Yuan, if you continue to practice diligently with the guqin, perhaps we can acquire one for your own personal use?” Brother asks in a somewhat offhand manner that tells Lan Wangji enough of the plans his brother already has in mind for Lan Yuan’s future guqin.

Lan Yuan has been learning how to play using Wangji under the tutelage of Lan Qiren, Lan Xichen, and Lan Wangji. Many of the caretakers that watch over the younger children during the day praise him and mention his talent in passing with their Sect Leader seeing as Lan Yuan’s father is still in seclusion. Lan Wangji doesn’t mind hearing this from his brother. He is rather relieved to not have to think about the rest of the Gusu Lan Sect at the moment.

Teaching his son music and healing slowly is enough.

Raising his hands from the strings, the last notes still hanging in the air, Lan Yuan nods and smiles amiably up at Brother in response to his question. 

“Yes, Uncle,” he chimes, his young, bright voice giving nothing away.

Lan Wangji politely averts his gaze when Brother begins to cry but offers him a handkerchief and presses his arm against his, silently showing him support as he has always done since they were children. He wants to do more but he is still healing and does not know how to go about it properly so he decides that this will have to be enough instead.

Lan Yuan simply stares between them, his smile falling under the weight of his confusion until his lips curve upwards again and he asks if they can go visit the rabbits.

Brother takes him every day for two and a half weeks after that.

Two years after Lan Wangji brings his son home, Lan Yuan calls Uncle his Grandfather because that is what he is and always will be.

Maybe Uncle has never been Lan Wangji’s father by blood or name, but Lan Wangji has been under the impression for a very long time that no one has to say what is already known. Lan Qiren is not the parent his nephews needed as children, but he is the parent they had and he always did his best by them. Though strict and stubborn, he taught and raised them to the best of his abilities.

Uncle oversaw his punishment but Uncle was also the one to stamp out any complaints the Sect Elders had about Lan Wangji claiming a bastard son. Uncle was the one who ordered their sect to contain Lan Wangji and Uncle was the one who demanded alongside the Sect Elders that he be punished. Uncle dressed his wounds and changed his bandages afterward, held Lan Wangji up and helped him go where he needed to go as he healed. And Uncle was the first one to arrange Lan Yuan’s fingers over the strings of a guqin.

Most would consider Uncle cruel for less than half of the things he has done to Lan Wangji in particular and Lan Wangji does, in a sense, think the same. However, Lan Wangji still considers Uncle as the father he was never allowed to meet.

Parents are not perfect and Lan Qiren is no exception to this rule, no matter how hard he tried to emulate it for himself and for Lan Wangji and his brother when they were children. Lan Wangji knows this to be true after two years of fatherhood himself.

In the beginning, Uncle did not approve of Lan Wangji’s sudden fatherhood and knew without a doubt that Lan Yuan was not biologically his. He shared this knowledge with no one though, not even Lan Yuan himself. Lan Wangji does not know if he has truly forgiven Uncle but he does know he need not worry himself about Uncle’s behavior around Lan Yuan. After all, Lan Wangji can very well see how his son softens his uncle’s heart with the mere appearance of his smile and quiet laugh. 

By blood or not, Lan Yuan is Uncle’s grandson just as Lan Wangji and Brother are Uncle’s sons.

So when Lan Yuan says, “Yes, Grandfather,” Lan Wangji is not surprised.

Uncle sniffs in mock disdain, still caught up in the apparent scolding he was giving before about Lan Yuan climbing into Lan Wangji’s lap. After a moment, he realizes what Lan Yuan has said and immediately, his eyes water. Uncle cups Lan Yuan’s face gently, smiling in such a way that Lan Wangji thought was lost. 

He remembers that the last time he saw that smile, he was still the child that crawled into his older brother’s bed at night to sleep comfortably beside someone who would never leave him as their mother had left them. Now he is a man with a son and scars on his body, heart, and soul for the love he lost. 

It is good to see Uncle smile again.

“Stop worrying your Grandfather so much, A-Yuan. Be a good boy for your Father, Uncle, and I,” Uncle tells Lan Wangji’s son.

Lan Yuan hums and nods, smiling a grin that always knocks the breath out of Lan Wangji’s lungs when he catches a glimpse of it. Both Brother and Uncle see it but only Brother looks to Lan Wangji in sympathy as he reaches out to grasp his shoulder briefly before letting go again.

Despite the near-constant ache in his heart and soul, Lan Wangji is glad to know that those who matter are also able to see Lan Yuan’s other father in him as well.

And if later Lan Wangji realizes Lan Yuan pulled the Grandfather card simply to distract Uncle from continuing his lecture, he holds that knowledge close to his chest. Lan Yuan is his father’s son after all.

Both of them.

When the third anniversary of Lan Yuan’s appearance in Cloud Recesses is approaching, the Sect Elders pull Lan Wangji into a meeting where they ask for permission to raise Lan Yuan for him instead so he can become a “proper” Sect Heir.

Lan Wangji says no and storms out of the meeting he recognizes as another form of punishment from the Sect Elders without listening to whatever other nonsense they want to ply him with.

They do not take the hint.

What ensues is a month-long battle of wills that leaves Lan Wangji angrier and more smug each time the Sect Elders attempt to speak with him. They argue that Lan Wangji is still healing and need not concern himself with child-rearing on top of his injuries. Lan Wangji levels them with a flat look, pointedly not mentioning who gave Lan Wangji his injuries, to begin with. Brother claims their concerns are unnecessary and rather late considering how long Lan Yuan has been with Lan Wangji at Cloud Recesses already and how Lan Wangji’s injuries are mostly healed by now anyway. The Sect Elders step around their Sect Leader’s arguments with condescending ease, however, something that Lan Wangji detests to his very core.

They also claim that his grief is affecting Lan Yuan’s development. That his son could flourish under their care with no sadness for a mother he will never meet shadowing him at all hours of the day. Lan Wangji’s brows twitch at their implications, silently daring anyone to say what they actually mean before he refuses once again and strides away. Only Brother stays behind to offer the niceties Lan Wangji is certain none of the Sect Elders rightfully deserve anymore.

It does nothing to stop them from calling Lan Yuan nothing but a bastard child that could ruin their sect if he continues to remain under Lan Wangji’s care the next day. A child born out of wedlock that Lan Wangji was too ashamed to claim until he had no other choice. An unwanted child whose only redeemable qualities are the strength of his golden core, his already apparent cold beauty, and the sharp intelligence he must have inherited from Lan Wangji instead of his beggar of a mother.

Lan Wangji nearly draws Bichen, his fury so great that he regrets not hurting more of the Sect Elders, not standing by Wei Wuxian’s side, and following him until the bitter end so he would not have to deal with any of this when he had the chance. 

But then he thinks of Lan Yuan, of his bright smile, and his twinkling eyes. Thinks of what would have happened to his son if Lan Wangji had not found him and pushes down the incessant ache to be with his soulmate deep down under again.

By the time Lan Wangji has released the hold he has on the hilt of his sword, Brother stands defiantly in the middle of the hall with a vivid look of disgust on his face. He loudly and firmly proclaims that as Sect Leader, they have no authority to overrule his decision of allowing Lan Yuan to remain with his father. Familial matters such as these fall under his domain, even when concerning the Sect Heir as written in their principles. That they have broken many of the rules they adhere so much to in their persistence to remove Lan Yuan from his family. That they have disgraced both the Clan and the Gusu Lan Sect as a whole.

Whatever Brother says after that, Lan Wangji does not know because he leaves as soon as his brother has begun to speak and goes in search of his son. He finds Lan Yuan with the rabbits, burying Lan Jingyi under their fur in the same way that Lan Wangji often does to him when they come by themselves. Uncle is standing nearby, watching the children play and trying not to show his displeasure over the mere presence of the animals since they remain here in the back slopes of Cloud Recesses due to nothing but a technicality.

Lan Wangji’s stride does not falter as he approaches his son and picks him up in his arms, holding him carefully to his chest. He buries his face in Lan Yuan’s hair to ignore the questions Uncle throws at him and the startled yelp Lan Jingyi makes once he notices Lan Wangji’s presence. He focuses on his breathing as the cloud ornament adorning Lan Yuan's forehead ribbon presses into the curve of his neck and his son's soft, natural scent of ash and snow invades his senses slowly.

He stands there for however long, holding his son tight and breathing him in as he wills himself to calm. He reassures himself that A-Yuan will not be going anywhere he doesn’t want to go and slowly comes back to himself. Lan Yuan, for his part, clutches the front of Lan Wangji’s robes and grips onto his father just as tightly without asking any questions.

They do not part from one another for the rest of the night. If Lan Yuan is not in his father's lap, then he is sitting close enough for Lan Wangji to keep a firm hand on his son no matter what they may be doing. During dinner, Lan Wangji takes their food in the Jingshi instead of the dining hall and plops Lan Yuan firmly in his lap as they eat quickly and quietly.

Lan Yuan does not complain once that entire night, only speaking to ask for things like a hug, his favorite lullaby, and Lan Wangji's fingers running through his hair. Lan Wangji sings to his son as he bathes him, firmly instructing Lan Yuan to change into his sleeping robes while he bathes quickly himself. Lan Yuan is sitting on the edge of Lan Wangji's bed when he returns, dressed in his sleeping robes and kicking his feet as he holds out a comb then turning around silently after Lan Wangji has taken it.

By the time nine rolls around, Lan Wangji has successfully braided his son's hair and brushed through his own before he lies them down to sleep. Lan Yuan usually sleeps in the daybed but for tonight, Lan Wangji holds him close to his chest and hums his lullaby to him again even as they both slip into the comfort of their dreams.

The day after, Lan Wangji remains within arm's distance of his son, secluding them in the Jingshi for the day. The itchy desperation he felt the day before has not completely made its way through his system but Lan Wangji is certain it will release its hold on him soon enough. Lan Yuan doesn't complain, even though he does stare at his father in wordless observation while looking much too serious for his young face that Lan Wangji anxiously reassures himself he is not turning his son into a copy of himself.

His son's smile is like the sun breaking through the last of the reluctant clouds that follow after a storm, his laugh so content that Lan Wangji feels inexplicably warm whenever he happens to hear it. Lan Yuan is happy. His son is by his side, safe and sound. The Sect Elders cannot take Lan Yuan from him. Brother and Uncle would never allow it and it is Brother's decision whether Lan Yuan continues to stay with him or not.

For the most part, Lan Wangji is certain that he has won this round with the Sect Elders until almost a month later when Lan Yuan asks to move out of the Jingshi and into the junior disciple dorms instead.

Lan Wangji hides his sadness as best as he can and allows his son to join the other disciples for the beginning of his more serious training, a multitude of feelings he cannot quite sparse through circling within him. Education is important. His son loves learning, he excels in all of his studies and he is happy. Lan Yuan is not leaving him. Lan Yuan is going to continue with his studies, strengthen his golden core, and grow up with Lan Jingyi by his side. Lan Jingyi would never allow Lan Yuan to be harmed. They are very close friends and Lan Wangji is glad that his son has someone who he can share whatever troubles he will not bring to Lan Wangji himself.

This is good. This is what is healthy for his son's development. Even if it hurts him, this is necessary for Lan Yuan to continue being happy as he grows up.

So Lan Wangji helps his son pack up a few of the belongings he wants to take with him, reassuring him that anything he leaves behind will be kept safe for him. That Lan Yuan can return to the Jingshi whenever he needs to. He escorts his son personally to the dorms, stopping at the door to kneel and pull his son in close for another hug.

Physical contact is still an issue for Lan Wangji but he made an effort for his son. Lan Yuan needed physical comfort when he first came to Cloud Recesses considering the fact that he was still recovering from his fever and malnutrition. Lan Wangji pushed his boundaries so he could hold his son close and rock him through his nightmares, imaging just how much better Wei Wuxian might have been at all of this until that hurt too much to think about. Now Lan Wangji has gotten so used to holding his son close that he tends to crave the simple intimacy of Lan Yuan’s small form curled against his chest more often than not.

Lan Yuan pulls back enough to kiss his forehead ribbon before he steps out of the embrace entirely. "I love you, Father."

Despite his mixed emotions, Lan Wangji smiles back at his son as well as he can manage to and leans forward to kiss his forehead ribbon in return. "I love you, A-Yuan."

After that, Lan Wangji spends most of his free time with Lan Yuan by burying his son under the soft fur of rabbits that Lan Yuan’s first father gifted to him as a teenager.

He cannot guess whether Lan Yuan now remembers the man in black and red that he used to call Xian-gege, but oftentimes Lan Wangji will see Wei Wuxian in the curve of Lan Yuan’s smile, in the sound of his laughter, in the steady grip of his sword. In the softness of his hair, the pout he rarely ever allows to grace his face when he is concentrating, the warmth in his eyes when he meets Lan Wangji’s gaze.

His grief has never left him and neither has his love for Lan Yuan’s first father but he hopes that he is doing well enough being Lan Yuan’s second father. He hopes that if Wei Wuxian were to ever come looking for his son, he would be proud of Lan Wangji for taking such good care of him and raising him as well as he ever could.

Lan Wangji had never originally planned to have children and he became certain of its improbability when he met Wei Wuxian. But then A-Yuan came into his life and the rest was decided from that point on.

It surprises no one when Lan Yuan’s courtesy name becomes Lan Sizhui.

Lan Wangji wonders if that says more about him than he has ever wanted to publicly share. After a brief stint of contemplation, he decides he does not care. He isn’t ashamed. He knows the Sect Elders are still looking for any excuse they can reasonably use to take Lan Wangji's parental rights over his son away from him. He also knows that others speak of how he behaves and looks as if he has lost a wife, how painful it must have been to lose Lan Sizhui’s mother so soon, how only his son has the power to draw him out of his heavy grief. They are wrong, of course, but they are also not.

Lan Wangji lost his soulmate, not a wife or his son’s mother.

At some point though, he ponders over what kind of impact his grief is having on Lan Sizhui.

“Do you want a mother, A-Yuan?” Lan Wangji asks one summer afternoon when Lan Sizhui is almost nine and they have just finished their noon meal in the Jingshi.

Lan Sizhui is of the mind that he is much too big to be called A-Yuan anymore but he allows Lan Wangji to call him that when they are alone. Lan Wangji uses it any time he can get away with it because his son’s first father would have and that is enough reason for him.

Lan Sizhui blinks up at him, confused. “I have a mother?”

“Yes,” Lan Wangji says because it is technically true, but then thinks better of it. “No, but you can if you want one.”

After all, Lan Wangji would set aside his vow of never marrying if it meant his son could know a mother’s love. He has never been interested in women before, especially not after he met Wei Wuxian, but he would marry one to give Lan Sizhui a mother.

He will always do whatever he has to for his son, even when it is difficult for him - especially when it is difficult for him. There are very few things Lan Wangji will not do for his son and marrying out of obligation isn't one of them.

“No. I have Father, I do not need a mother,” Lan Sizhui finally replies.

Lan Wangji smiles and reaches out to pat his son’s head, his veins burning with the force of his love and adoration when Lan Sizhui smiles back up at him. “A-Yuan is a good boy.”

Lan Sizhui leans into his touch, his smile growing until Lan Wangji feels like he is looking at a mirror image of his son’s first father in the brightness of his grin.

Lan Sizhui is eleven when he learns Inquiry on the guqin.

Lan Wangji listens to him play, correcting him when he strikes a wrong chord and does not allow his son to imbue any of the notes with spiritual power. He has played Inquiry a handful of times himself these past few years. No one has ever answered him before when he did.

Or to be simply put, Wei Wuxian has never answered him before. 

Maybe Lan Sizhui honestly does not recall his Xian-gege anymore, but Lan Wangji isn't sure what he would do if Wei Wuxian were to ignore their son's questions as easily as he has ignored Lan Wangji's desperate and heartbroken ones.

No, simply playing the notes together like this is enough.

Some three years after that, Lan Wangji returns to the Jingshi after feeding the rabbits to find Lan Sizhui waiting for him on the steps.

Earlier that morning he had returned from another night hunt, his report already in Brother's hands by this point. He brought back a gift for Lan Sizhui, a new writing set since his current one was beginning to look worn and Lan Jingyi had told him that Lan Sizhui had mentioned wanting a new one. Lan Wangji had wanted to see his son immediately after arriving but Lan Sizhui was in the middle of his morning meditation at the time and would then have his lectures and sword training lessons to attend afterward. He was content with waiting until his son was free to give him his gift and kiss his forehead ribbon before returning to their regular schedules.

But as Lan Wangji approaches, he wishes he had gone to see his son earlier after all.

It takes him a moment to realize that Lan Sizhui is crying and has probably been crying for a while now if his swollen eyelids are anything to go by. The sight of this evidence alone is enough for anger to spark within Lan Wangji.

No one hurts his son.

"What happened." Lan Wangji demands, his voice searingly cold even as he tries in vain to keep it gentle for his son.

Lan Sizhui wipes the back of his hand under his eyes and stares down at his feet as he murmurs, "Hanguang-Jun."

Immediately, Lan Wangji freezes. Lan Sizhui calls him Father when they are alone or with family. He has never referred to Lan Wangji as Hanguang-Jun in private like this. His son has made it clear on multiple occasions that he heavily dislikes not being allowed to call him Father in public anymore. From time to time, he will slip up and then punish himself for it even though Lan Wangji would never try to enforce a punishment for Lan Sizhui calling him exactly what he is: his father.

Something must be terribly wrong.

"What happened." Lan Wangji repeats, even less gentle this time.

His son winces at his tone but continues to keep his gaze on his feet. Lan Wangji sighs under his breath and reaches down to pick up Lan Sizhui like he used to when he was much smaller. His son is substantially bigger at fourteen than he was as a toddler, but Lan Wangji barely acknowledges his weight while he stands back up. Lan Sizhui goes still in his embrace and remains stiff even when Lan Wangji walks into the Jingshi proper and sets his son down on the daybed he never got rid of after Lan Sizhui moved into the junior disciple dorms.

Lan Sizhui still has not met his gaze. Lan Wangji feels a terrible sensation grip his heart as his son stares dejectedly at the floor in a clear and complete silence that is too defined for Lan Wangji's taste.

"Tea?" Lan Wangji asks properly this time.

A tense moment passes before Lan Sizhui shakes his head.

"A-Yuan," Lan Wangji begins, pausing when Lan Sizhui winces. "Tell me what is wrong. Why are you crying?"

"I heard that you had returned this morning," Lan Sizhui says and it becomes Lan Wangji's turn to wince. His voice is hoarse, his pain undeniable. It hurts Lan Wangji something awful just listening to his son speak. "I was talking to Lan Jingyi about when I should come to see you and-"

Lan Wangji kneels in front of his son, his hands immediately finding Lan Sizhui's. "What happened, A-Yuan?"

Lan Sizhui winces again but attempts to speak anyway. "One of the Sect Elders... He said..."

Even though it feels as if a sword has run clear through him, Lan Wangji waits patiently for his son to continue. He has never been very patient, not exactly, but he learned how to be for Lan Sizhui. He learned a lot for the sake of his son.

"I think he thought we couldn't hear him, but he said... I-" Lan Sizhui tries again, cutting himself off with a hiccup.

Lan Wangji unfurls his son's clenched hands in his lap and looks directly into his face, relieved when Lan Sizhui finally meets his gaze. "A-Yuan."

Tears well up in the corners of his son's eyes, silently making their way down his face. The sight alone makes Lan Wangji lean in closer, holding his son's hands tight. Lan Sizhui's lips wobble, his expression on the verge of crumbling.

"You're not my father, are you?" Lan Sizhui asks, his voice as broken as Lan Wangji's heart feels.

Lan Wangji does not lie. He is incapable of lying directly. He can avoid and sidestep a question artfully, but he has never spoken an untruth. If people misunderstand his answers, that is through every fault of their own for not listening to the meaning behind his words.

"I am," Lan Wangji says simply.

If anything, this seems to make Lan Sizhui's tears increase in frequency. "No. You know what I mean. Please, tell me the truth."

Doesn't his son understand that Lan Wangji has already?

"I am your father," Lan Wangji repeats. "I am your father in everything but blood. You are my son. You are the boy I raised and love as my own because you are my own."

Lan Wangji is not good at speaking. Wei Wuxian was the one who rambled on and squeezed as many words as he could into a conversation. Wei Wuxian spoke as if he was running out of time and needed to say everything he had to say before his time was up. Lan Wangji still to this day does not know if Wei Wuxian somehow knew that he would die young, but regardless, Lan Wangji does his best to channel both what he means and what he says as he continues. Even if words are not one of his strengths, that won’t stop him from explaining everything to his son.

"Your birth parents had been dead for some time when I found you, but you were already mine, A-Yuan. I have never met either of them and yet I thank them both every day for bringing you into the world. You are not my son by blood, but you are my son in heart, soul, and everything else that truly matters. You are the shining light within your grandfather's eye and the warmth in your uncle's heart. And you are the single most important person in your father's life, A-Yuan," Lan Wangji confesses, feeling a weight he was previously unaware of lift from his shoulders as he speaks. "I love you, A-Yuan. I have always loved you. Your origins have never once conflicted with my love for you. You are my son and I will always be your father."

Lan Sizhui tips into his embrace as soon as he has finished speaking and sobs into his chest, no doubt rubbing tears and snot alike into Lan Wangji's robes. Lan Wangji doesn't mind. He kisses Lan Sizhui’s forehead ribbon and rocks him gently in his arms.

(Later, Brother will come into the Jingshi without knocking and will drop kisses across Lan Sizhui’s face. He will avoid Lan Sizhui’s forehead ribbon because only Lan Wangji has the right to touch it but Brother will silently and loudly reassure his son that he is the best nephew in the world and he loves him without fault as well. Lan Wangji will look upon this and smile in that way he only ever does with those he loves and kiss Lan Sizhui’s forehead again before Uncle sweeps into the Jingshi and joins their huddled forms right there on the floor. 

But this will come later.)

For now, Lan Wangji simply holds his son close for as long as is needed and then some.

Lan Sizhui is almost sixteen when Brother orders Lan Wangji to take the junior disciples with him on his night hunt.

It is not the junior disciples’ first night hunt by far but it is their first night hunt with Hanguang-Jun. It is also Lan Wangji’s first night hunt with his son.

The night hunt is very simple. Some low-level corpses have been appearing in the woods around a small farming village not very far away from Caiyi Town. The corpses have been dragging unsuspecting villagers into the woods never to be seen again. A night hunt such as this should be relatively educating and safe enough to expose the junior disciples to.

Lan Wangji can understand why Brother wanted the disciples to accompany him, but it does nothing to dissuade the vague fear he holds for Lan Sizhui somehow being harmed.

He leads the way to the village on his sword, standing tall and stiff. Lan Sizhui is behind him to his right, Lan Jingyi mirroring his position on Lan Wangji’s left. The other juniors fan out behind them, expressions varying from excitement to deep concentration. Lan Sizhui appears calm, the corners of his mouth barely lifted upwards as they ride. Lan Jingyi is all smiles and laughter, joking around with Lan Sizhui and the other disciples alike.

(In a way, Lan Jingyi reminds Lan Wangji greatly of Wei Wuxian but now is not the time to focus on that.)

They arrive in the village quickly and discuss the situation with many of the villagers teeming about in what constitutes as their marketplace. Lan Wangji watches as Lan Sizhui suggests they make camp seeing as the village has no inn and none of the disciples object. 

Cultivators from the Gusu Lan Sect are considered to be well-mannered and too overly polite to whine and complain as any other cultivator would. However, these are junior disciples and Lan Wangji knows how too often the young tend to forget themselves.

After all, Lan Wangji forgot himself and his place often enough once he met Wei Wuxian.

Still, the lack of protest surprises him but he does not allow it to show on his face. He quietly observes as Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi divide up the tasks between the disciples present and quickly have camp set up not too far into the woods where the villagers claim the corpses frequently emerge from.

By the end of the night, Lan Wangji is pleased to see his son and his son’s closest friend take charge and act as joint leaders while they successfully subdue the corpses.

It seems Lan Wangji has much to disclose in his report when they return to Cloud Recesses.

Lan Wangji fixes his son’s forehead ribbon and leans down to press a kiss on it.

“Remember to not wander,” Lan Wangji says as he pulls back.

Lan Sizhui’s face is flushed pink with mild embarrassment, less round than it was as a child but he is nineteen now and his smile is easy, remaining the same as it ever has been. “Yes, Father.”

The other juniors are watching, probably planning to poke fun at Lan Sizhui later when the revered Hanguang-jun is out of earshot. Lan Wangji isn’t worried about this, he knows that none of the juniors do this to hurt his son. If they did, Lan Jingyi would have done something about it already or come to Lan Wangji himself if he could not.

(No one would dare harm Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian’s son anyway for fear of torture, death, and then possession. Lan Wangji could not protect Lan Sizhui’s first father, but he will not fail in protecting their son.)

Everyone knows Lan Wangji loves his son more than life itself. There is no shame in showing what is already a proven fact. There is no rule against speaking truths when others are not present.

So he allows the corners of his mouth to hint at lifting upwards before his expression returns to blank calm. “I will be nearby. Use the flares only for emergencies.”

“Yes, Father,” Lan Sizhui repeats.

Lan Wangji holds his hand out and Lan Sizhui drops his qiankun pouch wordlessly into it. Another moment passes as Lan Wangji looks through the pouch and assures himself that his son will have everything he needs for the first night hunt he will lead without a senior disciple accompanying them. He nods in approval once he is done and returns the qiankun pouch to his son, patting Lan Sizhui’s head once.

“I await your report,” Lan Wangji murmurs before he steps back so his son may rejoin the other juniors behind him.

“Thank you, Father,” Lan Sizhui says with a bow, smiling as he straightens and walks until he is alongside Lan Jingyi.

When they first left Cloud Recesses that morning, Lan Wangji felt anxious for some reason. No matter what set of robes he put on or how hard he held Bichen’s sheath, he could not resolve the shaky feeling in his chest that gripped his heart painfully when he thought of Lan Sizhui. He had packed quickly once something tried to push him towards the door, relief fluttering through him when that same sensation led him straight to Cloud Recesses’ entrance where the juniors were readying to depart.

During the sword ride here, that feeling would not allow him to keep his gaze away from Lan Sizhui for too long. His son was flying calmly by his side, expression serene as the sun began to rise and they passed towns and forests alike under them. He was bright, filled with the gentle happiness of his life and quiet excitement to be in charge of a night hunt for the very first time. If Lan Wangji happened to glance at him from the corner of his eye, he could have sworn that he was seeing Lan Sizhui’s first father in his place instead.

Now they are here, on the edges of Mo Village, and Lan Wangji feels calm. Calmer than he has felt in a long time. Lan Sizhui looks back at him once, smiling and waving before the disciples round the bend in the path.

Lan Wangji watches them disappear from sight, feeling an all-too-familiar sensation caress his cheek gently before it leaves him be for the very last time.

         Deep within Mo Village, someone wakes up in a shed.

a/n #2: thanks for reading! i have more mdzs content in the works, but in the meantime, feel free to send requests or headcanons to my inbox!

[chilligyu]

info: wen junhui/reader, teen+, soulmate au genre: angst, romance | word ct: 2k warnings: descriptions of injuries, scars, blood, hospitals summary: forever was a powerful word, and it was the only word he could think of when he imagined his soulmate. someone who was just as powerful as she was terrifying. because forever was a powerful word, and it scared him to no end. author's note: please read! this soulmate au deals with soulmarks in the form of injuries. once someone turns 18 their body will be marked with their soulmates scars and they will acquire all of their future injuries (i know it's a little confusing, story explains it better). if talks of scars and blood make you uncomfortable, respectfully, this fic will not be your cup of tea. thank you all!

Forever. Never, in all of Junhui’s life, had he heard a more terrifying word. He hated the permanency of it, the idea of being stuck doing one thing, being with one person. The thought of it alone made his skin itch. He loved being able to get on a train and go absolutely anywhere, loved never being tied down, loved being free. Sometimes he didn’t even know where home was, where he’d be sleeping, and that’s when he was most happy. He couldn’t explain it, nor did he want to.

What scared him most, was what he was destined for, what forever truly meant for him. For years he was told how his life would change, how it would never be the same once he became an adult. And he believed them. No matter how much he hated it, he’d have to be delusional not to. Because he’d been watching it play out on his skin since he turned 18. He’d been watching his body pucker with scars, little nicks here and there, for the better part of four years. A thin line across the back of his hand, a surgical scar on his stomach, it was so nerve-wracking. Because he hadn’t been injured.

His soulmate had, and he was a first-hand witness.

That was the sad existence he was left with, the one he’d been running from for years. He lived in a world where everyone was covered in the injuries and scars of their soulmate. Your body wasn’t a canvas of your own life, it was the story of someone else’s. And God Junhui hated that more than anything. That his life wasn’t his own anymore and there was nothing he could do about it.

It all became real for him when he came home from school on his 18th birthday. He shouldered off his bag and was getting ready to shower when he saw the bright pink mark on his stomach. A little thing, only two inches in length, half an inch wide, almost completely negligible. At first, he was confused, then scared, and finally—mortified.

No. He said to himself as he inspected the scar. Please tell me this is a lie.

For years he stared at his own body, repulsed and confused by the injuries that kept cropping up. His friends would laugh at the little marks, claiming that his soulmate was a complete klutz. Still, he refused to acknowledge it. He didn’t care what sort of scar showed up on his body, he refused to care. He refused to think about the one person who was tied to his entire existence. No matter what they were going through. He didn’t care when the eight inch gash appeared on his arm, nor did he care when he saw the surgical scar sprawled across his knee. It was just skin, scar tissue and skin. It didn’t mean anything.

Or that’s what he tried to convince himself.

Sometimes, if the injury was bad enough, he would even feel the pain from it. One day he was walking to work, and suddenly he was struck by an intense migraine. The throbbing alone was enough to make him want to puke. The world was spinning, he could barely feel the ground underneath his feet when he caught his reflection in a store window. His eyebrow had split open, a single trickle of blood streaking his face.

What happened? He found himself wondering despite himself. Are they—are they okay?

Before that moment, he had never actually bled from one of his soulmate’s wounds. And it terrified him. He had only seen the injuries once they’d healed, meaning that the danger, and pain, was over. That little bead of blood meant—meant that this was real. That on the other side of his scars was a real person. He hated forever, he hated the word, hated the meaning, hated what he was forced to endure because fate had better plans for him.

But still, he couldn’t help but wonder. And that was harmless, right?

Going to the doctor after that was interesting, because he had to get a full body X-Ray to see what sort of damage his new body had endured. Standard protocol when you turned 18, he’d just been putting it off for as long as he could. Injuries from his soulmate's childhood were clear against the backlight, several broken bones from when they were young, or reckless, or both. Without realizing it, Junhui found himself smiling at the sight. It was sort of comforting, knowing that he’ll always have this part of someone else. That it’ll never leave him.

He gingerly touched each wound and tried to imagine the story behind them. There was this one right up his shin, very old, very faded, it reminded him of the one time he fell off his bike as a kid. Maybe he had something in common with his soulmate. Maybe they had a similar past. He had no idea, but it was fun to wonder.

For periods of time, Junhui wouldn’t accumulate any new marks, and he felt lonely. He pretended like he didn’t, he continued on as he usually did. A string of flings and drunken escapades kept him busy, but they just—they weren’t as fun anymore. Car rides with no destination, late nights underneath the stars, the things he loved most no longer held the same weight. He felt stupid, selfish, wishing for some sign of his soulmate. Because that meant that they’d have to get hurt for it to happen.

And then, he thought he lost them.

He was getting set up for a gig, plugging in his mic and laughing with the stagehands, when he felt his life flash before his eyes. Like he’d been crushed by a car. The pain was so excruciating, he was finding it hard to breathe. Collapsing to the floor, he could’ve sworn that he saw a bright light above him. Tears streaked his face, his stomach churned like the red sea—he thought he was dying. He had no idea what was going on, until—until he realized that he was fine. That his soulmate—that his soulmate might’ve—

Pulling up his shirt, he watched a deep gash form on his stomach and a deep bruise color his whole abdomen. Propping himself up onto his elbows, he instantly fell back to the ground. Looking at his arm, he noticed the swelling. He was being covered in bruises, several of his bones were broken, and he only had one thought on his mind.

I have to find them.

He managed to get to his feet, finding his right leg weaker than he remembered, and he practically sprinted out of the bar. Pulling out his phone, he started searching every news site he could think of, looking for any news of any sort of car crash. Of any sort of accident.

Every few minutes or so, he’d check to make sure that his scars were still there. That his soulmate hadn’t left him. Because that’s what everyone truly fears, and the one thing Junhui has grown to fear more than forever. When you slowly see your soulmate's scars clear up, when your skin is your own once more, it means one of two things.

Either you’ve found your soulmate, or your soulmate is dead.

Please stay alive. He found himself begging, finally catching word of a couple car accidents in the past day. He scrolled through them, scrolled through the pictures of victims, desperately trying to find them. Dozens of faces blurred past his vision, and he finally stopped at a picture of a young woman. A woman with a small scar on her chin, just like the cut Junhui got when he was a kid and banged his chin on a coffee table.

After years of denying her existence, he had finally found his soulmate. For a brief moment, he was caught in some sort of trance, completely awestruck by the person who was a permanent part of his life. She was beautiful, perfect, everything he had ever dreamed of and feared all at once. It broke his heart, knowing that it took her getting hit by a car for him to find her.

When he figured out which hospital she was taken to, he hailed a cab and paid him extra to get him there as fast as he could. As he rode, he read the article more thoroughly, reading about how she was hit by a drunk driver, how she was in critical condition, and how she was in a medically induced coma. He had to fight back tears, knowing that she might not make it.

Arriving at the hospital, he showed the front desk her picture, desperate to find her any way that he could. They confirmed that she was there, that she had just got out of surgery. They kept telling him that only family could see her, that he’d have to wait until she was out of the ICU, and a million other things that he didn’t give a damn about. He had to see her.

“She’s my soulmate.” He whispered, trying not to lose it. “Please, please, let me see her.”

Even though the nurses were conflicted, they eventually let him in. Thanking them quickly, he sprinted down the hall to her room, tears stinging the corners of his eyes. He couldn’t lose her. Not before she was even a part of his life. Not before he could even tell her how important she was to him. He hadn’t even met her yet, and yet if she died – then his life would be over.

He slowed down as he got closer, his heart beating in his ears. She was just a few doors down, she was so close, he could feel it deep down inside. As he stood outside her door, he tried to calm himself down, he inhaled and exhaled, attempting to stabilize the raging storm inside of him.

Mentally preparing for the worst he reached for the door handle, his entire arm shaking. He was fully aware that she wouldn’t even realize he was there, that she’d be lying catatonic in a hospital bed with tubes and wires hooked up to her. He didn’t care. It was still an important moment in his life. He was about to meet his soulmate for the first time.

Turning the handle, he felt his heart stop when he saw her. Even though the actual sight of her broke his heart, something he couldn’t explain started to stir inside of him. Like—like his entire existence led him to this point. And while that thought alone would’ve terrified him not too long ago, it now gave him a purpose to strive towards. He wouldn’t run from this.

He approached her carefully, pulling up a chair and sitting beside her. As he sat there, he watched as the little scars across his knuckles started to disappear, and saw them reappear on her. Unconsciously, he started to check on every single scar on his body, finding himself frowning as they vanished from his skin. He would’ve preferred to bare them, knowing that they wouldn’t mar her beautiful body. And he’d miss the proof that she was meant to be with him. Fate determined that they were meant to be together, and for the first time—he accepted that. Because he finally learned that alone was a far more terrifying word than forever.

“I don’t care how long it takes.” He whispered, taking her hand in his. “I’m not going anywhere.”