#tawney man spoilers

[somepeoplejugglegeese]

While I think it’s actually pretty easy to defend the platonic interpretation of Fitz and the Fool (at least on FItz’s part), there’s something that I can’t get past. 

For all the 'creature of sun and sky' and 'live happily ever after' and hand holding and 'you can not do this to me' and “Fitchivalry Farseer’ (A line that also feels more significant because its not shared with the Fool) I still think that the number one argument for Fitz having romantic or sexual feelings is 'My dream was dead in my arms.' 

Ignoring the inherent romanticism of that line (It’s very Disney. Literally. The remix version is in Tangled), the biggest and most damning factor here is that Fitz has never said this dream aloud. He’s never shared it with us. Or the Fool for that matter. It’s one of the instances where Fitz purposely omits or lies about something. (Like his memories of his mother, which he both claims not to have and also puts into the dragon). Because of this omission, the line stands out. It feels Honest and raw. At that point in the book he could have gone home. He was expected to go home, in fact. He had a life ready made to step into (as seen by the fact that he does step into it in the end) and yet...my dream was dead in my arms.  

It is an acknowledgement that Beloved is what Fitz wants for himself. More than anything or anyone else. Beloved is what he dreams of. And the fact that Fitz never explains this want is very suspicious.

The line remains to me the greatest evidence of Fitz's feelings. Because I’m not sure there’s a non-romantic explanation for referring to your deceased friend as ‘your dream'... And if there was a completely platonic explanation, I think Fitz would have used it. (Because he’s Fitz)  And it brings so much meaning to that last conversation because Fitz is so close to living this dream that he won't voice. I think in that last part of the book Fitz was so close to admitting how he felt to himself. (Personal theory that he did admit it during this time period and then quickly dismissed it again as soon as the Fool left.) It just...it gets to me.

[dandelion-jester]

Fitz met his son and immediately thought 'I'm gonna make him hate me!'

[eloarei]

Reaper, ch... I dunno, 7?

I was tired of not-writing, so I started what is probably roughly chapter 7 of the Reaper novel I haven’t actually properly started or plotted out yet.  words: 2,169 (T-rated, f/m, gen) chapters: ??? I dunno fandom: original characters: Vanessa Mattock, Theocritus, Mr. Mattock  ship: Vessa&Theo, Vessa/Theo (implied) tags: some supernatural nonsense, the difficulty of just living, adjusting to humanity, alcohol,   notes: hey I wrote this in like 2 hours maybe? That’s the charm of not having to follow any rules I guess. Even though it takes place in the middle of the story (so I guess technically it’s chock full of spoilers?), it probably reads just fine if you have no idea what’s going on.  x So there was a reaper living on her couch. Well, he wasn’t a reaper anymore, she guessed, but what was she supposed to think of him as? Theo. Theo was living on her couch, after he’d outstayed his welcome at Sid’s place. They’d had a nice, self-pitying afternoon together when she’d found him there, borrowing some of Sid’s bottom-shelf whiskey in the hopes of dulling their respective traumas. But in the end, Sid had grouched at them that his place wasn’t a goddam hostel and Vanessa needed to find a new place for her boss to slump in half-drunken misery-- he’d already put up with enough weird shit the past day, what with Camille straight disappearing on them after summoning a horde of demons and zombies to his door. (Theo later explained that that was an exaggeration; it was only one demon and the zombies hadn’t even made it anywhere close to the antique shop. Still, as Sid was mortal and mostly normal, it wasn’t a surprise that that was a bit much for him.) 

Vanessa’s dad wasn’t going to be super pleased that she brought a ‘strange man’ into their house (boy, he didn’t know the half it-- like the fact that that strange man had saved his life), but he definitely wouldn’t stand the two of them getting drunk in the living room with all the shades drawn and the TV set to some trashy reality show, which was what she really sort of wanted to do. So instead of taking Theo back to her place right away, she’d walked them through the outskirts of town, off toward the seaside. 

There was… a lot to say. Primarily she wanted to berate him for not being there for her when she really needed him, but now that she knew he’d been having a rough time of his own her sense of betrayal had mostly faded off. It wasn’t like he’d been ignoring her on purpose (though what was she supposed to think at the time? He always came when she called him, and sometimes when she hadn’t called him and he’d just fucking sensed she was thinking about him or whatever). And yeah, she was still pretty shook about realizing that her mother was probably still alive (and maybe even in the city), but becoming human again after at least a couple hundred years of weird immortality was… possibly even harder, she admitted to herself. So she tried to be supportive of what her boss (or maybe former boss?) was going through. “You, um… doin’ ok?” she’d asked, as they’d strolled down the street, staggering slightly on the occasion. He looked the long way down at her, probably hurting his neck in the process. He was a little bit draped over her, arm slung over her shoulders like an old pal, but even with his current slouch they didn’t even nearly match up in height. Back when he’d been his usual reaper-y self (the last time Vanessa had seen him before Tawney helped her track him down at the antique shop), he’d seemed to absolutely tower over her and everyone else, almost lost in shadow. Now he was just plain tall-- although it was still pretty freaking tall. “I… will probably survive,” he’d replied, sounding all the more pitiful in his proper English accent. “Well I fucking hope so,” Vanessa had said, at a loss for anything more substantial or kind. Be kind of dumb if he just died after all of this, she thought. Especially when there was still so much she was just starting to understand about this shadow world he’d dragged her into. (Well, ‘dragged’ was not totally fair; she did kind of offer, after all.) They hadn’t really talked much after that, until they’d ended up in front of her house, and Theo had cocked his head at her and said, “Why are we here?” Vanessa gave him a deadpan look. “You got kicked out of Camille’s friend’s place, remember? What, were you gonna sleep on the street?” “Sleep…” he’d said softly, like he was testing the word out, or the idea. “I hadn’t thought…” “Yeah, obviously.” And on purpose, too. Why else would the first thing he asked for have been alcohol, other than that he didn’t want to have to think about his new lowly position in life? But he was obviously tired-- eyes shadowed in a way that had nothing to do with the mystical and everything to do with physical and emotional exhaustion. She’d seen herself looking like that on more than one occasion, especially before he’d rescued her from the hellscape universe where her father was dead and there was nothing she could do about it. They’d gone inside, just walking like normal people instead of that vaguely-irritating appearing thing Theo had used to do before. (It was like he just hated doors or something, she sometimes thought.) Her father wasn’t home yet, and wouldn’t be for another few hours at least, Wednesdays being his longest work shifts. She took advantage of his absence by not sneaking around the house, guiding Theo to the living room couch and sitting him down. He sat there in the dusky darkness while she rummaged around in the kitchen for snacks. They didn’t have any alcohol in the house, but junk food could be just as good a balm. Sitting down next to him in the dark, Vanessa handed him a package of Oreos and a cola, while she dug into a fresh bag of cheese puffs and a Sprite. Theo looked down at the junk food in his hands. “What do I do with this?” he asked, apparently perturbed for some reason. She pulled the cola out of his hand with little resistance and popped it open, replacing it in his grip. “Drink,” she said. “You know how to do that.” Diligently, he took a swig of the chilly can, but his face morphed into a vague distaste as he swallowed. (Vague only because he was hardly emoting at all right now, she knew. At his normal rate of emotion, it would definitely be at least a scowl.) “This is far too sweet,” he said, and he set it aside on the end table. “Yeah, well,” Vanessa responded, grabbing the Oreos and ripping the package open. “You’re living now, okay, so you need calories and junk.” She pulled a cookie out and jammed it into his mouth. He seemed a little surprised, but he chewed on it anyway, and the tenseness in his shoulders faded a little. She didn’t know if that was because he liked it, or just because it was something to do. After a minute, she turned on the TV, keeping the volume low and just letting the colors wash over them. Theo was staring in the right direction, but she’d have bet he wasn’t really seeing the reality-TV shenanigans. (Probably a good thing, in this case, because it would have just annoyed him if he realized how stupid it was.) An episode or two passed, and she was starting to feel pretty drained. “Hey,” she started quietly, not wanting to shock Theo out of his trance too badly. “I think I’m gonna go crash. You should sleep too.” She got up to go find a blanket for him, but his gaze followed her, a little lazy, a little lost. “I don’t know how,” he said. “You don’t--” Vanessa blinked, and she blinked again. God, why was it her responsibility to teach him how to be a human? Shouldn’t it be Camille’s job since he was the one that took Theo’s powers? (Not that she thought Camille was great at being human either, but still.) She took a deep breath. “You just… Just close your eyes and don’t do anything. I dunno, pretend you’re dead.” A flicker of emotion crossed his face, probably unrelated to her suggestion. It was something she’d describe as ‘confused and annoyed about it’; maybe consternation. “I don’t know if I can do this, Vessa,” he said, and she knew he wasn’t talking about sleeping. Not exactly, anyway. “I mean, that’s…” She shrugged. “That’s life, right? You just have to take it a day at a time. A minute at a time.” He was zoning out a bit, staring at a spot on the wall, but she managed to catch his eyes and noted that they didn’t glow like they did before, that pale white-gold that always seemed to loom out of the shadows of her room. They were just light brown now, and tired. “Hey look… You know I’ll be here to help, okay? I’ve gotten through like ten thousand days. I’m sure I can help you through a few.” “Seventy-two hundred and sixty-three,” he said. “The days you’ve been through.” She scoffed and turned away to hide her smile. “Ok well that’s still a lot more than you.” She walked off to go find a blanket, wondering for a minute if Theo was going to be hot or cold natured, before she decided on an old course hand-woven thing her mom had picked up from somewhere, ages ago. She didn’t know if it’d be too hot or too cold, but if she was feeling as bad as she thought he was, that was the one she’d pick for herself. Ironically, he was out like a light by the time she got back. “Hey,” she said, draping the blanket over him. “Old man?” There wasn’t even the slightest downward twitch of lips, so she knew he was really finally asleep. Maybe his first sleep in a thousand years. She hoped it was a good one. She couldn’t say what exactly possessed her (maybe it was just that he couldn’t shy away or judge her), but she reached down and smoothed back that little piece of hair that always fell forward onto his forehead, and followed it up by pressing her lips to the empty space it left. She took a deep breath and inhaled his new, living smell. It wasn’t anything really specific. Just… warm. Smelled like hair and body oils and a little bit of lingering whiskey. Compared to the too-clean nothingness she’d whiffed before, when he pulled her close enough to teleport them someplace, it was just… better, more real. Smelled like a man who was living some kind of life, step after step, not… two feet on the wrong side of a grave. “Sleep well,” she said, even though he wouldn’t hear her. Then she tottered up the stairs and fell into bed, with just enough energy and presence of mind to kick off her shoes. Of course she didn’t hear the front door open, or her father cautiously step around the strange man sleeping on the couch and up the stairs in the desperate hope his daughter would have some explanation. “Nessie,” he said softly, settling his hand on his shoulder and just barely rousing her. She turned and glanced over her shoulder at her father, miles too tired to remember anything other than the fact that she was stupid tired, but there wasn’t a moment in her life where she ever thought of brushing off her dad, so of course she shook herself awake. “Dad. What’s up?” “Do you know why there’s someone sleeping on the couch?” Vanessa sighed. “Uhh, yeah. That’s my friend. Theo.” “Theo doesn’t have his own place?” her dad asked, raising an eyebrow just a little bit, just enough to show he was skeptical, but not mad. She tried to get her brain back in order and remember the excuse she came up with earlier. “Uh, well, his place had a f- flood, like a bad one, and they made everybody get out, but he’s kind of new to the area. I mean, he just moved from England, so he doesn’t have any family or friends to stay with.” Mr. Mattock’s face wasn’t hard to begin with (it never was), but it softened to hear his daughter trying to help a friend in his time of need. “That’s nice of you,” he said, and Vanessa knew he was being genuine, though he still seemed just the slightest bit uneasy. “He doesn’t really look your age though. He’s not… your professor, is he?” Vanessa grimaced, and she could tell her face was turning a little red. “No! No, he’s, um, he works at the library on campus.” Her father hummed, but he didn’t seem to be really criticising her story. “Well, alright. I’ll let you get back to sleep and then maybe we can talk more in the morning. G’night, sweetie.” “Night, dad,” she responded, and she managed to hold back her heavy sigh until he was out of the room. And then she fell back to sleep. She wanted to stay up and think about all the stupid little details she was going to have to probably remember for his cover story, but she was too tired to think anything other than ‘screw it’. xXx

[douxreviews]

Parade's End - Series Review

"What I stand for is gone."

"But to live for. You have something to live for."

Without question, "Parade's End" is the best television miniseries I have seen in recent years. This five-part installment from 2012 is something as rare as a classic love triangle both expertly crafted and superbly acted, with a sentimental and optimistic ending which feels both earned and logical, while simultaneously addressing political questions, moral values and social class dimensions in such a way that it does not come off as shoehorned but rather as a vital element of the story.

The show is based on a series of World War I-era novels written by Ford Madox Ford. This review does not go into detail on all the storylines but nevertheless it does contain spoilers for the entire series.

The reason I came across this gem was me looking through the filmography of Adelaide Clemens. I was very impressed with her role as Tawney Talbot on the television show Rectify and I wanted to see more of her. Okay, so maybe I just thought she's one of the prettiest girls I've seen on screen over the last decade. Sue me. Anyway I wasn't disappointed.

The two other main characters of the drama are played by Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock, The Hollow Crown) and Rebecca Hall (The Prestige, Transcendence). We all know they're talented performers and every single one of the cast brought their A-game to this series.

This is a very beautiful show, a wonderfully filmed BBC costume drama at its finest. One nice touch is how it often establishes the time frame for a given scene with people reading period newspapers, such as the famous article of Kerensky vowing to continue the war against Germany. The dialog sometimes comes across as a bit stilted, but I believe it's more of a conscious choice than anything, lending a certain formal way to how the characters speak, and it's often supremely clever, packed with the trademark English dry humor. It wasn't exactly hard to find stunning screenshots for it.

The protagonist of the show is Christopher Tietjens, who is probably the most perplexing character of the series. The two ladies competing for his affection - in their own and vastly dissimilar ways - are his wife Sylvia and the young, idealistic and well-educated suffragette girl Valentine Wannop, who is quite a bit below them on the social ladder.

Christopher is an anachronism, and this is that which drives the entire plot of the story. It defines his problems, drives the action and points to the solution of the piece. He represents the old values of the bourgeoisie. It would then be easy to dismiss him as a mere reactionary but this absolutely misses the point. Christopher embodies an idealized version of the morals of the bourgeoisie during and after the French revolution, the values of the class at a time where it was still a revolutionary force. He's actually speaking out in favor of the women's vote at a tea party even before he meets Valentine.

As she notes, Christopher is living in a "glass cabinet" - he is championing a class, a system of values and a society which no longer exists, and perhaps never truly did, more resembling the role of the perfect feudal lord. He is a devotedly ascetic, old-school moral man believing in leading by example and protecting the rights of those under his charge. More than this, he is invested in what he refers to as the "parade" - the sanctity of marriage and keeping up appearances so as to not disgrace oneself or one's peers. In one of his most confusing yet significant ramblings, he tells Valentine how he's joining the war to "protect the 18th Century from the 20th". No, Valentine, I didn't quite get that either.

In contrast, Sylvia Tietjens is a monster. It would be rather boring if she was just a monster, but she isn't. She's a spectacular monster, played with incredible panache by Hall. Sylvia is representing the rotten bourgeoisie of the beginning of the 1900's, the laissez faire attitude - the vampires and exploiters of men to the point of virtual slavery, spitting at those beneath her. She is completely amoral and depraved, even seemingly taking pride in being so. She's the embodiment of the upper class as a cancer. In her most comical and recurring theme she consistently accuses Christopher of being "too perfect" such as that she comes off feeling inferior to him, yet her response is never truly to attempt to better herself, but rather to provoke him into striking back and lower himself to her level with increasingly outrageous behavior, being unapologetically unfaithful and scandalizing him at every turn. I would think there are very few actresses who could pull off a line like "you forgave, without mercy" in a way that makes herself out to be the victim.

Her weakness lies in how she gradually becomes absolutely obsessed with Christopher precisely because, after everything she does, she is still utterly unable to break him. In a ridiculous sense, Sylvia is in touch with her times and her social status - the predatory Capitalism, the subjugation of the colonies, the trampling of the working class under her iron heel and a life in shameless luxury - whereas Christopher is not. This is further indicated by the ire Christopher is drawing from his peers, precisely because of his devotion to his work, his utter inability to compromise his ideals and his brutal, acidic verbal beatdowns of other men in power who fail to respect or even be honest towards their subjects, leading him ultimately to be regarded as the most vile and debauched man in London due to slander from his enemies - an adulterer and a traitor to his country, none of it true. He can't even help doing his job well when it goes against his own interests, as evidenced by this brilliant piece of dialog between him and Valentine:

C- "The French were bleating about the devastation of bricks and mortar they've incurred by enemy action. I saw suddenly it was no more than one year's normal peacetime dilapidation spread over the whole country." A- "How wonderful!" C- "So the argument for French command of the Western Front gets kicked out of court for a season." A- "But weren't you arguing against your own convictions?" C- "Yes, of course. But Macmaster depends on me."

The third player, Valentine Wallop, is a symbol of the petty-bourgeois sympathizing with the plights of the proletariat amidst the increasing social contradictions of her age, which at this time and place were actually threatening her class with extinction. She's working for the vote for women and she's intensely pacifist. Her little brother, occupying a rather small role on the show, is a socialist and later a Bolshevik, writing her a postcard in Latin from the front, afraid it will get picked up by the censorship - "long live the October revolution!"

Where a lesser work would find this a golden opportunity to insert some synthetic plug against Communism, "Parade's End" significantly has Valentine exclaiming to her horrified mother, "well, it's enough to make anyone Bolshevik sending men and boys to murder each other in millions!" She is the least nuanced but most admirable of the three characters - outspoken, disrespectful of authority, perhaps a bit naïve and with a big heart.

This sets the stage for our drama - the love triangle between the moral traditionalist aristocrat, the corrupt would-be tyrant from his own class and the moral revolutionary commoner.

The conflict is symbolized by the Tietjens family tree at his grounds at Groby estate, where people from all walks of life have been hanging good luck charms for centuries. It is a symbol for tradition and the bond between the ruling class and its subjects. The tree's roots have grown too deep and wide and threaten to destabilize the very ground on which the estate is seated - another symbol for how the morals of times past have turned into obstacles for the needs of modern Capitalism - but in Sylvia's inimitable, shallow manner of thinking the main reason she wants to get rid of it is because it "darkens the view out the window". That, and out of spite for her husband, who dearly loves it and all it stands for - as he says, "young men and maidens have made their marriage vows under the Groby tree for longer than memory."

Her mother urges her to stay her hand and wait for her son to decide what to do with it once he is Lord of Groby but Sylvia bluntly states that his son will "grow up to be a Tietjens", so she won't even give him that choice. When she has the tree cut down with no sanction, that is the breaking point and the true conclusion of the triangle, in a single stroke showing Christopher that all the old values he lived for are dead.

In the end, Christopher chooses and chooses wisely. As his godfather told him on the field of battle, "well, there are no more parades for that regiment. It held out to the last man, but you were him", and as he himself says to Valentine, in a defining, game-changing piece of conversation: "My colours are in the mud. It's not a good thing to find oneself living by an outmoded code of conduct. People take you to be a fool. I'm coming round to their opinion."

The final shot of the series, with Christopher burning the last log of wood from the tree in the fireplace, dancing with Valentine at the post-war party with his fellow soldiers, is one of the most satisfying ends to any show I have ever seen.

It is good precisely because when I watched through this series for the first time, I fully expected Christopher to die in the finale, bleeding out in some ditch half-way to Belgium and setting up the standard tragic conclusion, as most of these great stories do - but this ending sends a powerful message. It is possible to change, and it is possible to find happiness even after you have let go of all your old baggage and sentiments. It is not a happy ending for the sake of it. It's a happy ending because ultimately that is what best serves the story.

There are of course many other characters in this drama - the timid, upstart Macmaster and his hypocrite mistress, Christopher's dad who commits suicide poisoned by false rumors about his son, the likable Irish priest most likely connected to the Irish Republican Army, executed on false charges of treason by Ulstermen, and Christopher's brother, who finally comes to understand him and take Valentine's side against his wife, and they are all well-crafted and well-played - but if I were to address them all, this would turn from an essay into a novel. You might as well go read the novels.

It's inspiring television. In one word, it's perfect.

Thomas Ijon Tichy

[lifelibrariesandlemontrees]

NetGalley Book Review: Assassin’s Fate

Guys. Guys. GUYS!!!!! Look! Look at this! Isn’t it beautiful? It’s the one, the only, the FINAL installment of the Fitz and the Fool trilogy. Which is in turn, the final installment (as far as I know) in the Realm of the Elderlings series.

If nothing I just said made any sense to you, I recommend going to your nearest source of books and looking up Assassin’s Apprentice by Robin Hobb. It’s the first book in the series and, as such, is wonderful and amazing and just trust me, you need it in your life. Go do that now. It’s the kind of series that will emotionally destroy you in the best possible way.

Click HERE to read my review of Fool’s Assassin

Click HERE to read my review of Fool’s Quest

Synopsis: 

The final book in the Fitz and the Fool trilogy. Prince FitzChivalry Farseer’s daughter Bee was violently abducted from Withywoods by Servants of the Four in their search for the Unexpected Son, foretold to wield great power. With Fitz in pursuit, the Servants fled through a Skill-pillar, leaving no trace. It seems certain that they and their young hostage have perished in the Skill-river. Clerres, where White Prophets were trained by the Servants to set the world on a better path, has been corrupted by greed. Fitz is determined to reach the city and take vengeance on the Four, not only for the loss of Bee but also for their torture of the Fool. Accompanied by FitzVigilant, son of the assassin Chade, Chade’s protégé Spark and the stableboy Perseverance, Bee's only friend, their journey will take them from the Elderling city of Kelsingra, down the perilous Rain Wild River, and on to the Pirate Isles. Their mission for revenge will become a voyage of discovery, as well as of reunions, transformations and heartrending shocks. Startling answers to old mysteries are revealed. What became of the liveships Paragon and Vivacia and their crews? What is the origin of the Others and their eerie beach? How are liveships and dragons connected? But Fitz and his followers are not the only ones with a deadly grudge against the Four. An ancient wrong will bring them unlikely and dangerous allies in their quest. And if the corrupt society of Clerres is to be brought down, Fitz and the Fool will have to make a series of profound and fateful sacrifices. ASSASSIN’S FATE is a magnificent tour de force and with it Robin Hobb demonstrates yet again that she is the reigning queen of epic fantasy. (Synopsis from Goodreads)

Review:

It was everything. Literally, this book takes all of the trilogies and quartets that comprise the Realm of the Elderlings series, and bring them all together. So if you haven’t read them or thought they might not be important to the Farseer story? I’d advise you take some time and do that now. This is both a weakness and a strength in my opinion, and let me tell you why:

On the one hand, it was really awesome to see all of the other characters from The Liveship Traders and the Rain Wilds. It was really interesting to see the way in which the stories all converge and to know how everyone ends up. On the other hand: I really just want to read about Fitz.

I don’t think there has ever been any doubt that Fitz is my favorite character. I’m thrilled that his story is the primary one for the Realm of the Elderlings, because his is the most interesting. He’s the character that I’m bonded to and whose story consistently makes me cry. The other series are good, and you should definitely read them, but for me it’s always been a story of Fitz and his life, with the other stories on the side, kind of supplementary. For example, the first time I read them I went straight from the Farseer Trilogy to the Tawney Man trilogy, completely skipping over The Liveship Traders. I did go back and read them afterwards, and knowing what I know now about Amber, I would probably have read them in order. But, I digress. 

I think I will enjoy it more on my second reading, not only because I’m able to better relate to the story and characters with a physical copy, but because I know the full story now. I know how all of Fitz’s interactions with the Fool and Bee and everyone else go, and so I won’t mind so much when they go off about the other characters. But the first time? It was actually a little stressful. I was here for Fitz and this book kept giving me page after page with other characters. I can appreciate the closure in retrospect, but at the time? I wasn’t here for that. 

That isn’t to say that there isn’t plenty of Fitz. Don’t worry. There’s Fitz, and the Fool and Fitz and the Fool and Bee and even some Nighteyes and Ketricken and basically everyone. Like I said, everything converges. And the characters make progress, and regress, and it an be infuriating at times (here’s looking at you Fitz) but ultimately they’re the characters that you love. They’re damaged and broken but they’re together and, for me at least, that’s the important part. 

I don’t know how much more I can say while keeping this spoiler free, but I will say that everything is tied up in the most Robin Hobbsian ending I can imagine. Imagine holding up three fingers, each finger representing something that you, as the reader, wants from the story. Your fingers may be similar or different to mine but regardless, you’re probably only going to get one of them. And you will be so thrilled over the one that you get, and crying over the two that you don’t, and everything will be wonderful and heartbreaking and so, so appropriate, and that’s what this book is like. That’s the adventure, and that’s the end to it all. And honestly, what more could you expect from this wonderful, emotional, series?

As a final note, however, I will say that this ending took less time for me to come to terms with than the original. As some of you may know, the series was supposed to have ended with the Tawney Man Trilogy. When I first read these books, she hadn’t decided to write the Fitz and the Fool trilogy yet, and so the end of Fool’s Fate was the ending that I had, for everything. And I was happy, and yet simultaneously dissatisfied and it took me a few weeks (I’m ridiculous, but also ridiculously attached to these characters) to come to terms with the ending. And even then I would have moments of dissatisfaction, where I would play out what if scenarios in my head for things that might happen after the final page.

I don’t do that now. This final conclusion is the closure that was needed. It’s the end of an era and the end of my favorite book series. 

The End. 

Re-readability: 5/5

Rated: 5/5

Recommended for:

1. Everybody. Seriously, everyone with eyes. Go read this series. Read the entire Realm of the Elderlings series. It’s the best and most amazing, wonderful, heartbreaking series I’ve ever read. it will emotionally destroy you in all the best ways. Go read it now. 

[some1foundme]

Chicago PD fic: More Than Meets the Eye

Title: More Than Meets the Eye

Summary: A series of post-ep missing scenes between Halstead and Lindsay.  Begins with 3X11 “Knocked the Family Right Out” and will continue through season four. Spoilers up to the current episode 4X16 “Emotional Proximity” (will continue to change as episodes air)

A/N: This is my first foray into writing Linstead.  I’ve been writing Olicity for a couple of years and before that I tackled House, CSI and NCIS.  But I’ve recently started watching Chicago PD and I have to admit, I was immediately hooked and have now binged the first three seasons and am completely caught up… and more than a little in love with Linstead.  Let me know what you think please!

Read on AO3 or ff.net.

Knocked the Family Right Out

The panic strikes hot and fast the minute that he sees the name on the lease.  Tawny Darren.  Their second victim is somehow involved in all of this.  And Erin is with her right now.  Alone.

The second the words are out of his mouth, they’re rolling out.  He’s barely keeping it together.  He knows he needs to.  For the sake of the team.  For Erin. He’s no good to her if he can’t keep his head on straight.  She’s smart. Strong, resourceful, resilient. He knows she doesn’t need to be rescued, not often, but the thought of her walking into a trap - one set by a man who raped a fourteen year old girl – sends his protective instincts into overdrive. She’s a good cop, his partner, but she’s also the woman that he loves.

He rides shotgun while Antonio drives.  She doesn’t answer any of his calls and with every moment that ticks by, his heart falls further into his stomach.

“Lindsay’s phone is still at that location.”                      

He takes little comfort in Mouse’s statement and calls out the next turn.

It takes eight long minutes before they’re on the scene.  He doesn’t even wait until the truck is fully stopped before he’s out and making his way to the front door, gun drawn.  Atwater and Ruzek are with him, flanking him up the walk.  When he pushes the door open, they separate, Kevin to the left and Adam to the right, leaving Jay to head up to the second floor.

He takes the stairs as quickly as he dares, not willing to spook any of their perps, but the sounds of a struggle make his feet move faster.  He bursts into one of the bedrooms and has to swallow the fury that immediately attempts to smother him.  She’s bound and gagged, her eyes wild as they seek him out, and everything in him is screaming for her.  But Ty Hanley is there with a knife to her throat and Jay knows that there’s only one way for this to end.

“Drop the knife!”

Hanley grabs her, angling her like a shield in front of him, and presses his blade harder to the delicate skin of her neck.

“Walk out now!”

“Drop it!”

“You wanna see her neck sl –“

He doesn’t think, doesn’t hesitate.  He pulls the trigger, dropping Hanley with a single shot.  His body goes slack and Erin rolls away from him.  She’s trembling and he can barely hear her terrified whimpers over the ringing in his ears.  He crosses the room in two quick strides, pulling the gag from her mouth before getting to work on her bindings.

“You alright?  You okay?”

She’s gasping when she answers, her voice shaking.

“S- Spence and Tawney are here.”

He radios the team.

“Antonio, one offender down, find the other two!”

And then his focus shifts to her, only her.  As soon as she’s free, she’s in his arms.  He tucks her beneath his chin and clings to her as if she’s going to slip away from him.  He feels the tiny tremors that wrack her body, feels her fingers twisting in the material of his jacket, and he wishes he hadn’t let her come alone.

“Erin, are you alright?”

His voice is hoarse, the anxiety slithering its way into his throat tightening his vocal chords, and he wonders absently if maybe he’s actually the one trembling.  She moves away, only as far as he’ll let her go, and the sight of blood splattered across her face turns his stomach.  Even if it isn’t her blood.

She nods and tries to smile but it doesn’t reach her eyes.

“I’m fine.”

He sighs and pulls her back to his chest, closing his eyes and breathing properly for the first time since he’d seen Tawny’s name on that damn lease.  

He holds her hand as he leads her down the stairs, helps her into her coat where it had been left in the dining room, and follows her out onto the street.  He finds napkins in the glovebox of their car, handing them to her and gesturing silently to her face.  

Antonio comes out then, guiding Tawny roughly from the house.  He catches Jay’s eye, glancing questioningly at Erin, and Jay nods once before taking Tawny off his hands.  He’s almost got her to the car when Kevin and Adam roll up with Spence cuffed in their backseat.  He hears Erin’s question to the kid, hears him accuse Tawny of arranging all of it, and before any of them can stop her, she’s whirling towards them.  She hisses at her, her voice menacing, and when Tawny has the balls to spit in her face, Erin throws a punch that knocks the other woman back into Jay.  Antonio grabs Erin before she can really lose it and for a split second – even though he won’t admit it – he’s proud of his girl for taking that swing.  It’s twisted what these three have done and not a single one of them has shown any sign of remorse.  He’s not in the least bit sorry that one of them is dead.

The ride back to the district is filled with a tense silence.  Tawny is cuffed in the back of their car.  Erin’s dark sunglasses hide her eyes.  Neither of them speak.  So when he finds her alone a while later in the break room, he takes the opportunity to reassure himself one last time that she’s really okay.

“You alright?”

She sighs and shrugs and looks down into the coffee she’s just made for herself.

“Yeah.”

The tightness in his chest loosens just a little.

“Promise me one thing? Never go in without back up again.”

She gives him a small, sad smile and nods.

“Yeah.”

“I mean it.  Not even for a parking ticket.  That goes for all of us.”

She takes one step then another until she’s close enough to set her hand on his forearm.  

“I’m already kicking myself. It’s just, that girl… I – I bought it.”

He shakes his head and twists his arm where she’s grasping it until he can reciprocate, wrapping his fingers around her elbow and anchoring her the way she’s always anchored him.

“Hey, we all did.”

They stay connected for a long, silent moment.  There are so many things he wants to say to her.  They’re still in the very early stages of this relationship and even though they’ve been on the cusp before, he doesn’t want to push her.  He doesn’t want to scare her.  And he’s sure that he would if he told her everything that he’d been thinking today.  He’d been terrified that he was going to lose her.  He doesn’t let himself think too hard about the future he’d imagined with her and how worried he’d been that it was all going to be ripped away from him so suddenly.  He certainly isn’t ready to tell her that he loves her even though he’s known for a long time that he does.

“Okay.  Lecture over.  You want to get a beer?”

She chuckles, that raspy sound that never fails to send a shiver down his spine, and squeezes his arm.

“Definitely.  But I’ve got some good news to deliver first. Meet you at your place in an hour or so?”

“Sounds good.  I’ll see you later.”

Erin just gives him a nod before stepping out of the room, leaving him to watch her go.  And he does.  He watches her walk away from him and he lets her because he knows that she’s okay.  She survived, like she always does, and he’ll see her again soon.

[somepeoplejugglegeese]

That talk in Fool's Fate is basically:

The Fool: I have to go for the sake of the world

Fitz: Then let me come with you

The Fool: Fitz, I love you more than anyone, but I can’t love you more than everyone.

Fitz: So...that’s a no?