#tbf she was 14 at the time so that basically just makes it a normal being 14 moment lol

[arolesbianism]

Art may be hard but my terrible straight ppl haunt me enough for a doodle regardless

[zingaplanet]

Heyy, did Rafa and Shakira ever date? I just came across their song, Gypsy and he looks quite comfortable. Also, did Fed ever react to the song?

No darling, our little Rafa, although he might be an adonis Tommy Hilfiger sex god on the outside, (if you need some photos for purely *ehem* scientific reference:)

<I mean Roger, by god, we get you 🥲🔥>

he is fortunately a hopelessly awkward island boy (erring on the cute side of course) who's extremely introverted. His very tight-knitted close circle only consists of people that he knows since his childhood in Mallorca and it's the same case with his love life. He has only ever been kmown to be associated with one person, that is his current wife, María Perello (who's an absolutely lovely goddess btw! ❤️) that he's been dating since 2005.

Mery is also Mallorquín and part of the circle he grew up with (they dated for 14 years since Rafa was 19 before getting married in 2019!!).

This sounds completely crazy but it's actually pretty common with high-profile athletes. Their fame, I can imagine, make it very difficult for them to be close to someone who's ENTIRELY not in it for your 'superstar persona' or who actually knows you before all of the craziness happens. That's why a lot of high profile athletes ended up with their childhood sweethearts (who's known them since forever).

This is even more so in tennis. I don't think people truly truly appreciate and understand how difficult it is to be a life partner of a professional tennis player. They move cities every 2 weeks around the world and that means not only sacrificing your whole life to be with them, but also your dream of a normal family life, not to mention your anonymity. The Federer kids def did not have a normal childhood lol. You must either be a completely selfless person, or you must love them very very much I think. The other 3 of the big 4 are exactly the same! They married their childhood sweethearts that they've known even before they were famous (Andy with Kim, Novak with Jelena, and Roger with Mirka).

So no, in conclusion, they never dated! (Pretty sure Shakira was already with Piqué at the time) Rafa was also very very awkward with girls lol he's surprisingly not very smooth at all (there are some hilarous videos of him on the internet). And no, Roger never made comments on the video, although he has teased him mercilessly in the past whenever Rafa's changing or performed some precarious tennis moves that require him to show a lot of his *ehem* physique (watch Hit for Haiti!).

Tbf this whole video and the Tommy Hilfiger ads seem completely out of Rafa's comfort zone! As I mentioned, although ppl like to compare him with Ronaldo, he is genuinely, the most clueless, awkward boy alive hahaha. (Also feel like Shakira basically saw her chance to scope out Spain's hottest golden boy and she took it, YOU GO QUEEN!!) But it's such a great thing to see him break away from his insecurities and trying new things!

Here's the video, again, for *ehem* scientific reference, because why the hell not:

[rexaleph]

Doing poorly so i'll finally be breaking my silence on the bachelor with nick viall from 2017.

So id never seen the bachelor before, but in 2017 people on the internet were laughing at this weird woman contestant with her adult nanny and cucumber snacks + she also was really hot, 100% my type at the time + turns out griffin mcelroy and his wife had a podcast abt the bachelor franchise and were following the season episode by episode, so i decided to check it out.

The bachelor that year was a 36 y o man called nick whose job was being on the bachelor. He had previously been on 2 seasons of the bachelorette where he got p far but was not chosen, and then he went on bachelor in paradise, which i dont super understand what it is but he failed to find a gf there as well, and basically that is what his life had been for multiple years at that point. He was p attractive, however any time he tried to do serious relationship talk to the contestants he was supposed to pick his wife from it was like listening to a 14 y o boy say lines he'd heard on tv. Like he'd be thoughtlessly rude to a woman, she'd try and bring it up and he'd mumble canned lines like you call me on my shit, that's what i love about you while looking at his hands. Incredible manbaby, what a prize.

So coming back to the weird girl contestant. Her name was corinne, she was 23 (none of the women were over 31 to nick's 36) and lived with her parents allegedly helping out with their mystery business. They employed someone she called her adult nanny, who made her cucumber snacks and cheesy pasta. On the show she came off as childish, silly and very sexually aggressive, she took off her bikini top and made nick hold her tits in a photoshoot, sprayed whipped cream on herself and made him lick it off i wanna say the very first night, told the camera that while her heart is gold, her vagine is platinum. And nick loved that shit!! She'd rudely monopolize him and barge in when he was with someone else and he'd just follow her like a puppy. And the other women would get upset and he'd lamely apologize but it was clear that corinne was whom that idiot man wanted and deserved. The show was making her out to be a reality tv villain, and the crazy thing is that even the normal smart people i knew who watched the show kept getting mad at her for the antics. Like how dare she make him lick cream out of her cleavage on the meat market show? How dare she take her top off on the show with the dedicated sex episode where i think you have the officially sanctioned chance to test drive 3 partners in a special fuck room? Bizarre.

There were 2 other leading contestants, a teacher and an attorney, both 30+, established beautiful people. and like okay, i get that they can't be like, ah, i do not in fact want to marry a professional dating show contastant babyman. They had to do the show. But why do you, as a feminist critical reality tv enjoyer, want a woman you like be saddled with someone like nick? I guess you wanna see the good guy win, but winning here does mean accepting nick viall's marriage proposal. Nick choosing corinne would have been a victimless crime, they were completely on the same level, she might have outgrown him eventually, but really who cares, they're reality tv people. I was rooting so hard for those two beautiful idiots to make it, true stupid lust against reality tv convention where the good guy had to win. But ofc nick was weak, he did not follow his heart and ended up choosing the teacher who i wanna say spoke 3 languages, was a pillar of her community and throughout the show kept trying to talk to him like a grownup. Which like tbf she can't have been doing that great if she's going on the bachelor, but still miles and miles beyond anything nick had any right to hope for. She accepted his proposal and they broke up a couple months later.

Right after that season the bachelor franchise went fully down the toilet iirc, there was like grotesque overt racism with the bachelorette and i think sexual assault on set, so it stopped being a semi-respectable guilty pleasure. I certainly never watched anything other than that one season. But i still come back to thinking abt corinne and how bought in the people who treated it as a guilty pleasure and considered themselves above it were into the weird horny-prudish adolescent logic of the show.

[eddiesxangel]

https://www.tumblr.com/eddiesxangel/745295403164057601/how-about-we-stop-asking-people-how-theyre-losing?source=share

My mom has multiple chronic illnesses and goes up and down in weight alot

Shell go from looking like a skeleton to being nearly 200lbs in 6-14 months and back and forth like that

She can basically only eat small plates once a week or every two weeks, mostly lives off of coffee and cigarettes because shes always shitting and throwing up all the time

Everyones always like "damn you lose weight so easily how do you do that im so jealous of you" or they insult her when she gains weight but complain she was too skinny before even though thats when she got the most compliments

Not only can she not win but she always gets so frustrated when people ask her how she does it because shes like "im literally disabled. Im chronically ill"

People will sometimes tell her they wish they had her illness. She doesnt mind when she can tell theyre joking but its disturbing how warped people can get. People who arent even eating disordered thinking its acceptable to say shes lucky to have an illness

Kinda unrelated but when shes out with people, they rarely respect her illness, they think shes making it up and being awkward and force feed her and bully her to eat until shes sick for a week

(Tbf i have to force her to eat sometimes because she is picky, aspie and has a phobia of food so she just doesnt bother eating but still)

But moral of the story. Stop commenting on peoples weight, food or body unless you both consent to the conversation

~sorry if you dont know what to say to this or feel like you need to give sympathy, this is our normal so dont feel obliged, just agreeing and adding onto your discussion x

I’m sorry to hear that. It must be so difficult for her and you 🥺

People should just mind their business especially if they’re not close to you.

[overplannedbutunnamednpc]

Jaded, Magic, Offspring, Vice for the alphabet one ... any characters you think are tasty but I would like to request that at least one be for Zephyr for development reasons (bonus if u want to make that be magic and talk abt her feelings on dunemancy as a controlled magic)

i’ll do all four for zephyr and also roll for others bc hehehe.........

Jaded: Do they buy into the “happily ever after” ideal? What’s their standard? Zephyr: not really??? I think growing up as an urchin kind of fucked that up even if she otherwise would. like, I’m sure the ideal in the kryn dynasty is what like. tbq and her wife have, with multiple lives and loving them through every one of them. but like. A) zephyr ain’t consecuted even if she says she is and B) she loves gent but that’s honestly probably her first real relationship and she kind of already knows that won’t end with a happily ever after because. she’s gonna still be in her elf twenties when gent dies. like, zephyrs actually kinda practical about this. she’s not gonna get a happily ever after with gent! she’s kinda accepted that even if she really doesn’t Like it. (and I’m very sad about it but that’s another post, elf lifetime meta included, if you want it). that said! she doesn’t think she won’t be happy! just that she’s smart enough to know that her relationships, such as they are, Will likely end in some pain for her, especially considering all the shit that comes along with a society with consecution. PC: Legacy - like. no? it feels ... cheap to her, I think. maybe it’s just me morgan not really believing in that stuff, but like. she grew up with nice parents who like. nothing was wrong with them of course! but like. she knows better, seeing them be in love with each other and fight and etc., she knows better than to think that anything could be happily ever after. she knows you gotta work at that shit, and I think she’s still figuring out how hard she’d want to work, if that makes sense. she does have a standard, though! she does want to fall in love or at least be infatuated/have someone be infatuated with her! it’s just an experience she wants. but considering her grandmother and her abilities... she kind of doubts she’ll ever be the prince OR princess in the fairytale, you know? NPC: Kiya - hh. Kiya knows better than to think happily ever after is in the cards. she’s got a pretty good thing going with MFU, she loves her employees, and I like the thot of her having a thing for one of them? but like. I’ve said it before: kiya isn’t really a ‘gets nice things for herself’ kind of person. so her standard is ‘it doesn’t happen in the first place.’ which is a little depressing, but hey! maybe she’ll be surprised.

Magic: In a magic series or not, are they accepting, or is each instance a shock? Zephyr: zephyr is a weird one because I like the idea of her being a little disbelieving that magic like. works for her, even though she’s a level 14 wizard with very specific knowledge of the arcane. I’m thinking about sir gentry and how he’s like, 50 years old by now or something. she didn’t look up the normal lifespan of a pet mouse until he was at least like. 10/15 because she just didn’t want to find out that he was about to die, and then she was kinda like ‘huh maybe... maybe he’s a magic mouse?’ (the in game explanation is that her dunamancy (time magic) is just. extending his life bc he hangs out with her and I think it’s cute and my dm loves me). but beyond that. I think it’s really fun if like. zephyr was NOT expecting to actually get into the academy? she made this whole plan expecting to at some point be found out but at least she’d have the knowledge, and then. She Wasn’t’? and she was obviously very happy that it worked!!! and I think she’s gotten more and more respect for her craft but it at least started as her going Wow alright this shit actually works? dope. now though I think she’s come to terms with it. she’s a level 14 wizard, she’s incredibly powerful really. magic for her is an extension of herself, to the point where she does it unconsciously (at least on sir gentry). she’s so skilled with dunamancy that she can just. choose to stop someone in time, five times a day. it’s exhausting, but she can just force a timeline on someone and have them be none the wiser. she’s Powerful, yo. and a lot of that power comes from sheer comfort with the subject, I think! I like that idea. PC: Zier - zier i think is very funny for this question because he like. JUST became a sorcerer and then levelled up super quickly in the span of like three or four months. but like. fundamentally, what happened was: 1. he ran away and got kidnapped and experimented on 2. he got away Somehow 3. he did magic at a giant spider 4. he ended up in another continent. so I think for him, it was surprising at first and he very much doesn’t know shit fuck all about magic, but he’s a noble boy through and through, and thus very quickly went “yeah i’m magical that fucks majorly because I fuck majorly.” it was basically him coming to terms with this new thing very quickly because he’s a bitch who likes the power. NPC: Coriander - coriander is the epitome of “is incredibly comfortable with magic.” for her, magic is essentially an assistive technology! she has darling who is basically a second pair of arms, legs, and an extra 8 feet of height so she can keep up with their partner and children who are much taller than she is. but I think a lot of the tech she develops is assistive or transportive in some way. coriander likes exploding things, but that’s more of a hobby. her actual magic works more like tech, and she treats it like a science.

Offspring: What kind of parent would they be? Would they prefer one, or multiple? Zephyr: much to think about.............. if she had kids I think she’d like multiple! she grew up completely alone so I think she’d want any kids to have siblings. as a parent I think she’d be good! i’ve been thinking about zephyr having very much Her People, who she likes, respects, and cares about to the point of fighting for and with them, and then Not Her People, who she kind of could give less of a shit about. her kids would def be Her People. she wouldn’t know exactly how to deal with them? I think for a bit there’d be a problem because she’d be stiff. she’d like her babies/kids very much! but she doesn’t know how to hold them. she doesn’t have experience talking to them. a baby cries and she tells it that theres nothing to cry over and logic at an infant doesn’t work and she goes bug eyed sasuke. but I think she’d figure it out eventually, and she’d be especially good at kids once they get to the “express their desires and disappointments in an understandable way.” perhaps she’d raise, on her own, very expressive kids because thats the only way they would be able to tell her what’s going on. PC: Sarril - :). he doesn’t know. but I think he would have been a good dad! his wife wanted multiple and so he would have had multiple, though he would have been very happy with only one. sarril was actively learning about Contact, so lots of hugs and holding for the babies and toddlers, especially with his wife and her family next to him. he’s always been a kind of calm and quiet man, and his way of showing love isn’t very Talkative, (i’ll talk about how he loves in another ask) so he’s more the dad who is At everything and is very quietly proud of everything his kid does, but unless there’s like, a crisis, he’s not likely to make it abundantly clear that he’s an adoring father. but you’d know from just like. he’s there, he’s tucking you in every night, he helps you with your homework, etc. NPC: Iris - iris wants kids SO BAD. she’d love one, she’d love multiple. part of being a part of a really terrible population crisis that may or may not be due to demonic influence, maybe, but she also just really wants kids. and she looked at cylthia and went “yeah alright we doing this?” I think iris with kids would be adoring almost to a fault. she’d LOVE those little bitches. she might spoil them rotten, but also they’d be super loved and have friends in all of glade and lent’s kids, and I think they’d eventually be cool.

Vice: What bad habits do they have? Is there something they would be ashamed of? Zephyr: shopaholic. i think a lot of her dresses come, if not free, at least steeply discounted because maybe she’s someone’s muse or maybe she did a huge favor for a dressmaker? haven’t decided yet. but definitely a lot of her paycheck (which I imagine she does get, from freelance jobs offering her wizarding services or maybe the dynasty pays her for the small wizard jobs like lighting the streets, bringing down and putting up and keeping up the night sky over rosohna, things like that) goes to dresses and accessories. she really likes spending money, and doesn’t mind so much about having it. I don’t think she’s ashamed of it, exactly? it’s her money, she’s spending it on things she likes. but it is probably indicative of Something. PC: Kenny - has a bad habit of being beholden to a god of fire who wants him to betray his friends. nah i think he’s got a bad habit of like now, scratching/rubbing soot off of himself. shit like that, where it’s a stimmy way of trying to get the ashen wolf’s influence off of him. he’s probably ashamed of it a little? because it’s the ashen wolf? but idk if it’s even really noticeable to others so that takes away a lot of the shame of it. NPC: Ecstasy - bad habits. of. not sharing her fucking feelings! she says thats STINKY but it kind of just fucks her over. like tbf with raini it kind of works because if she ever said she was in l*ve with raini the wizard might hightail it out of there but like. i think after two years she might have gotten away with it and didn’t even try. and now she’s kind of paying the price because not only does raini not remember her but it also doesn’t like, matter, maybe, because the feelings were ALWAYS unarticulated? so? she’s now just ????????

[moonaft]

Rosemary and Rue - Reread

Finally caught up on the series - now to go back and see what I missed before.

Contains spoilers for the series up to The Brightest Fell and the June 2018 Patreon short stories. All the spoilers. So many spoilers.

One hour before the pond - Toby is staking out Simon and enough hints are dropped that something bad comes of it. 

Hi Oleander - have we met another Peri in the series? I guess they are anti-social enough to stay out of Toby’s radar. 

Why doesn’t Toby know for certain that Simon was involved with the underworld before this? He’s been called a villain since at least the 50s and his magic’s been rotten oranges instead of cider for just as long. I guess the purebloods besides Sylvester and Evening aren’t talking to her.  

So all of this was meant to draw October out without giving her allies to draw on - Sylvester’s out of the picture and not in any place to look for her - so that she’s taken out. What did Evening think when Simon turned her into a fish instead of killing her? Toby’s out of the picture - and maybe that’s enough, especially if she dies as a fish. 

How long do koi fish live? Did Simon’s transformation help there? Why does he even have such good transformation magic - he should have blood magic and illusions. Transformation is Maeve’s domain. I guess he gets to branch out - transforming Toby’s shoes in TBF never did wear off, and he did turn Patrick’s suit into something more suitable for the party in a short story.

~14 years later~

Apparently we meet the Luidaeg now when Toby’s working as a checkout girl. Did she know of things that were coming? Wanted to see her niece? Is she in her ‘Cousin Annie’ disguise? Toby isn’t paying enough attention to tell me

Hi Mitch - do we ever figure out what Stacy’s fae heritage is? Is it too faint? How exactly do they end up with two Seer daughters? Is Stacy all she claims to be? 

I am not sure why Toby is so utterly convinced that people seeing one pointed ear is going to betray Faerie - people will ignore and forget about much weirder things. Chelsea managed to get by fine for 16 years. 

-

Tybalt! I don’t recall if we know how they met. Does October even know Tybalt’s history with the Torquill family, or even that he’s of the same generation-ish with them? She definitely doesn’t know about September yet, or that Tybalt was friends with the three of them, or anything else going on in London in the 17th century. 

Did Tybalt know that Simon’s her step-father? He must have. The amount of information her allies don’t bother to tell her is amazing. And why didn’t she investigate Simon more? Any amount of digging would have turned up that relationship. 

- 

Hi Quentin, your life is never going to be the same. 

Interesting that the first description of Amandine we get describes her as a liar. Amandine the Liar. I guess she really did want a human daughter, one that wasn’t going to get involved in Faerie. If it wasn’t for Toby resisting her attempts to make her human, she might have gotten that. 

And now it’s her Changeling Choice - that the Luidaeg told Sylvester about. Is October named after August, or is she named after September? Explains why Sylvester flinches at her name. There is so much that October didn’t know then. 

Are Moving Days ever explained? I guess it’s either May 1/November 1 or February 1/August 1 for when the courts moved from Maeve to Titania and back. Beltane is a celebration in Faerie, so it’s probably May/November. 

June 9, 1995 to June 11, 2009 - I don’t know if those dates have meaning beyond Toby’s time in the pond. Also, does basically everyone in Faerie who cares knows she was there?

Why would Sylvester’s phone number have changed in that time? Why is Evening so nice to October? Is it part of of her con? Her past actions as described in this book don’t match anything else that come later. Early book weirdness? 

Does October know that Cagney and Lacey are spying for Tybalt? Also, what is this about October finding Evening’s sister’s killer? Clearly that wasn’t another Firstborn. Did Eira just fit herself into some other family - but that wouldn’t explain the last name. Someone she convinced everyone else she thought was a sister? This book has so many questions. Evening plotting the destruction of the false Queen’s court? When she was instrumental in getting that queen on the throne? Getting Toby knighted? 

This doesn’t make sense with her motivations later on - and I trust the Luidaeg and Simon with their explanations far more than I trust Evening. I think I will chalk it up to the first book and if it doesn’t appear in another book, it never happened. 

Wait, dammit. Her sister’s name is Dawn, and Tybalt (or Patrick, I can’t remember) explicitly mentions a Daoine Sidhe by that name later. No last name given. Who are you, Dawn? If Evening’s pretending to be a regular Daoine Sidhe, fitting in with an existing Daoine Sidhe family is a good way to go. 

-

“Even Sylvester, the most ‘human’ pureblood I’ve ever known’ - oh October, by TBF you definitely know enough to sense watermarks in people’s blood - you can see that Maida was once a changeling before the hope chest. Did you never think to re-examine your assumptions once you developed new powers? True, I’m sure that the twins were made pure-blooded soon or immediately after birth, but still. There were enough rumors that Tybalt figured it out.

Does August know? Did she think to look?  

-

What’s up with Evening’s human body? Did she convince the night-haunts to leave one and just got up and left after healing? The night haunts didn’t actually eat her bullet-ridden body because she doesn’t show up in the flock later. Maybe she did what April did to get January back? 

I guess some of these spoilers are meaningless without context because that last sentence makes no sense without April’s short story. 

I thought Oberon’s lines had the blood magic? Why does Toby think everyone but the Daoine Sidhe get it from Maeve’s lines? Or does she not know about that yet? 

What is October going ‘to end at last’? What mockery? Her being a changeling? Clearly Evening knew what was going on and meant for her to find the hope chest. If Toby is completely human, maybe whatever destiny is in Amandine’s line is gone. Since Evening can’t harm Toby directly, pushing her in the human world and away from Faerie does basically the same thing. Maybe. 

Was working with Devin and the other changelings a contingency plan in case Toby came back from the pond? A way to get her human?  

-

As far as the false Queen goes, I get why Toby never thought about her ascension. There wouldn’t be any rumors in 2009 that the Queen and King Gilad didn’t share a common race, and Toby didn’t know anything about Gilad. Clearly Mags did, and probably the Torquills, but it wasn’t worth talking about. 

That is interesting timing - everyone says August disappeared in 1906, and Simon was working with Evening by the time of the earthquake in April 1906. That is at most 4 months to exhaust all other options and sell your soul to the devil. 

-

I am concerned that going to Blind Michael for help is even a consideration. Who are the Tarans of the Berkeley Hills? Do they ever get mentioned again? 

Also concerned that Toby can’t tell what blood Devin has. 

-

Were the hope chests made to make the fae races ‘pure’? Who sired the Daoine Sidhe with Evening? Amandine pulled every trace of Daoine Sidhe from August before she was born so August was ‘pure’ Dóchas Sidhe but that wouldn’t work for other races. Do it enough times and you have enough for a population. 

Tybalt, you know that hope chests exist. Are you just surprised to see Toby with one? Maybe that backstory hasn’t been developed yet.

-

Hi again Quentin. Hi Connor. Hi Raysel - I liked you better when you were elf-shot.

Have we found out how Luna and Raysel got out of Simon’s hidden bubble? I don’t think we have. Does Raysel and Connor know that Simon’s her stepfather? I like how Raysel calls her ‘failure’ just like the Luidaeg calls Simon ‘failure’. 

Does Sylvester’s allergy to cats extend to Cait Sidhe? Do purebloods normally get allergies, or is this leftover, like Maida’s scars?

There is no indication that they were as upset by Dawn’s murder as they are by Evening’s. 

-

And Toby is covered in blood for the first time! All of it hers. 

Hi as-yet-unamed Marcia! Toby can’t make out your blood - are you really a thin-blooded changeling, or something else? 

How exactly does Lilly know Amandine? Did she always know who Amandine was? 

Hi Julie, hi Ross - you were gone too soon. 

Toby’s passing out again, yep. 

-

How exactly did Devin save the Luidaeg from burning? She’s been in the city forever. I’d say he was lying if she didn’t confirm it. Definitely lying when he said he called Sylvester though. 

I will say that the Torquills and the Lordens don’t care about mixed marriages, but Raysel and Connor’s children would be interesting. 

Is it adultery if your affair is with a changeling? Human is a definite no, but changeling?

Why does Goldengreen open on Amandine’s name and not Evening’s? 

-

Oh, those times when Luna was friendly. I miss those times. 

And Toby wasn’t paying enough attention at the register - the Luidaeg does have her customary face. 

Rose goblins being “an accident on the part of a niece of mine” - Luna? Or one of her sisters? 

Amandine trying to “fix matters on her own”, oh yes. 

Goldengreen wasn’t the first hope chest, but it’s the one the Luidaeg had before it ended up with Evening. The first one was given to Eira? A half-blood child? Not really how I would describe her, so maybe it went elsewhere. Maybe to the first child who descended from both lines? 

“It all came back to blood and roses” - Amandine’s magic. I forget what the other half of Eira’s magic is, the one that isn’t roses. 

-

At least Devin gets to avoid Evening’s revenge by being dead.

Does Toby still visit Dare’s grave? The books don’t say. She does still have the knife though.

-

Done with Rosemary and Rue! On to Tamed Lightning with January and April. 

There’s a lot in this book that sets up the series, but there’s a lot of pieces that don’t fit cleanly. What exactly was Evening up to with October and the kids from Home?