#tbz hyunjae imagine

[haklcv]

good things should be experienced twice.

jaehyun x fem!reader, idol au, fluff, 1.7k

SYNOPSIS. you wake up on a sunny, saturday morning all alone. not knowing your idol boyfriend had a schedule that day, you find yourself driving to his building to gift his band lunch during morning practice and again in the evening with a free trip back home. WARNING/S. we love kissing jaehyun. food gets dropped to the ground but not really. I ACCIDENTALLY MAKE A SEXUAL INNUENDO I’M SORRY. did i mention we love kissing jaehyun? AUTHOR’S NOTE. yuh first post here i come ig. this has been sitting in my drafts for forever and i finally moved my lazy ass to post it. its also way shorter than i wanted it to be but i couldn’t think of any other way to finish it so there you go. stan jaehyun, stan tbz.

It was a bright, sunny Saturday morning. You wake up with sunshine barely pouring in through your curtains, stretching and moving to lay on your side, only to find out that you're alone in bed. The emptiness gets you to sit up, barely awake as you hear your ringtone blare throughout the room.

Lazily picking up the phone, you quickly glance at the caller I.D. before accepting it. "Good morning, my love." You ease up as the familiar voice reaches your ears, sinking back into your bed as a small smile fills your face. "You left without telling me." You languidly whine. "I woke up to a cold bed, Jaehyun."

His short chuckles could be heard from the other end of the line. "I'm sorry. I was running late and I kinda forgot to inform my managers I was staying at your place." Although far apart, you could feel the sheepish smile on his face just from the tone of voice he was giving. You sigh before sitting up once again. "I could've drove you myself."

"I don't think you would've woken up. We were up pretty late last night." She checks the time at this, gasping softly as Jaehyun asks her what happened on the other end. "It's 7 in the morning, Jae. We didn't go to sleep until like 4 because of the movies. I'm sorry." Guilt rushes through you. After all, the movie was you idea.

"Are you really tired? Did you get any sleep at all?" Jaehyun hums through the phone.

You two stayed on the line, comfortable silence passing through. And while Jaehyun might've just been happily sitting on one end of the phone call, waiting to start practicing again, you were sat on the other desperately racking your brain for ideas on how you could make up his lack of sleep for him.

"Jae, when do your guys' schedule start?" You ask, the male perking up at the sudden question. "Not until 2. We're just practicing for now."

A smile lifts your face. "Great. I'll stop by at 11 to hand you guys some lunch, alright?"

"Seriously? Thanks, love," Jaehyun replies. You smile in response as she could hear him inform his bandmates through the call. After the information sunk into their heads, they seem to have all thought the same thing which was to rush to the phone and continuosly thank you and say how awesome you were.

"Alright. I'll be there by 11."

—

You were indeed there by 11. With exactly 3 minutes to spare, you  stopped in front of the familiar practice room door before the mental warefare started playing in your head.

Here's the thing, you and Jaehyun always had this thing ever since you started dating where you can't, by any means, have a comeback spoiled toyou, and by all means, should wait for Jaehyun so he could see your immediate reaction to the tracks. But when your boyfriend was currently in the middle of practice with food for him and his band in your hands, you didn't exactly know what to do.

"What do you mean you're outside our practice room? Just come in." You scrunch your nose at this, looking around the empty hallway of the big company building. "Well yeah but I don't wanna have the song spoiled." Jaehyun chuckles from the other line, hearing footsteps as the door in front of you opens to reveal none other than the love of your life standing in the doorway. "You can hang up now," You say into the phone, you two laughing at this before the call ends.

"Who's there, Jaehyun?!" You could hear his bandmates question him. "The delivery person!"

"Oh, so I'm just a delivery person now?" You asks, loud enough for the well-known members of The Boyz to pop their heads from the inside to send a quick 'hello' and 'thank you' to you.

"You're a person delivering the food, no?" Jaehyun replies, feigning innocence as you could only narrow your eyes at him. "Whatever you say, Lee." Jaehyun only chuckles at this, taking the bags from your hands and placing a quick peck on your lips. "Thanks for the food, love." You hum in response, a small smile appearing on your face.

As Jaehyun turns on his heel to walk back into the practice room, you cross your arms and sigh. "Lee Jaehyun," You call, placing a tight grip on the back of his t-shirt. "Ye—" Before the male could even process the situation, he was already spun back around towards his girlfriend, melting into a loving kiss. He gently places the full plastic bags of food down before his hands snake around your waist and pulling you closer, feeling your arms move around his neck.

As you both pull away, you immediately fall into a warm hug. Lovestruck smiles on your faces as you plant another chaste kiss on his cheek. "That was abrupt," Jaehyun softly says, his breath tickling your ear. "That makes up for the good morning kiss you missed earlier." You simply reply.

"Oh? Does there happen to be anything else I missed for me to get another one of those?"

"Jaehyun!" You whisper-yell, gently smacking him on his chest as he laughs in amusement. "What? Just asking..."

"Could you two hurry up your make-out or whatever?!" You wince slightly at this, embarrassment sinking in as you only bury your head deeper into the crook of your boyfriend's neck. "That would be Eric." Jaehyun notes.

"Are you just gonna leave us starving to death so you two can continue devouring each others faces off?!"

"And that would be Sunwoo." Jaehyun chuckles at your loss of words, moving his head to the side to try and see your face. As they both pull away from the hug, they send each other bright smiles. Hyunjae places a kiss on her forehead before picking up the bags of food once more. "Thanks again for the food, princess."

"Anytime, my love."

—

Another hour of the day, yet a familiar scenario that you were about to walk into. It was currently midnight, the city lights glowing and the streets thriving. You had just been called up by your boyfriend to ask if you could pick him up from his company building. Of course, you immediately agreed and upon further inspection, found out that he really just wanted to raid your fridge and continue watching that movie series you two never finished.

You casually walk into the IST Entertainment building, unfazed upon the familiar interior. You make your way towards where Jaehyun told you he was, timidly knocking on the door and peeking your head inside to see a small number of staff running around here and there.

You enter the room, eyes trying to locate your boyfriend before you spots him a few distance away. You make your way over to him, garnering his attention with a simple tap on the shoulder. "You're here already? I haven't gotten changed yet," he mentions, surprised. "Yeah, I can tell."

Jaehyun, being the idol he is, was fully decked-out in a formal suit. Albeit, his hair was already quite messy and his coat was unbuttoned. Whatever the occassion was, you didn't mind. Because if it meant getting to see your boyfriend in a suit, you'd accept it anytime.

"Are you tired? I can't drive so we're going to have to figure out a way for us to go home if you are." Jaehyun was completely oblivious to your gaze on his current appearance. It was no doubt that Lee Jaehyun looked effortlessly handsome, no matter what he wore. But you were also just longing to be with him the entire day. One hug before lunch wasn't enough, nor was one kiss.

"Princess, you ok?" He asks, barely missing the split second in which your eyes flickered from his lips to his eyes. You hum in response, blinking profusely as a gentle smirk resides on Jaehyun's face. He starts to inch backwards, trying to see how well he could tease you before ultimately giving up.

"You ok?" He repeats. You don't reply, and before Jaehyun could repeat his question, you pull your boyfriend by his tie as your lips smash against each others. Happy butterflies filled the both of your stomachs as you two smiled into the kiss. You even swore you saw cartoon hearts dancing around the top of your heads.

You both were longing for each other the entire day. Of course, you two were used to the usual days of long schedules and long hours of not being able to see each other, but that didn't mean you never missed each other. And who said a good kiss when you meet each other again wasn't necessary?

You both pulled away from the kiss. It wasn't as long as the one earlier in the morning, but it held the same amount of passion, desire, and love from before. It also just ended quickly, primarily because it hit you halfway that you were both still in a random room in the large company building where Jaehyun's bandmates were, quite literally, right around the corner.

"That felt... oddly familiar," Jaehyun teases, a wide smile on his face. His hands continue to stay by your waist as you bury your head in the crook of his neck. Your face flushed a light shade of pink, taking sight of a door opening and the 10 remaining members of your boyfriend's group filing into the main room.

You didn't know what to do. You wanted to stay in the hug, but your social fear and embarrassment wanted to run away. However, Jaehyun seemed to read your thoughts immediately. So when he started moving so that he was the one now facing his bandmates and your back was turned to them, you swore another group of love butterflies erupted in your stomach.

"We seem to be interrupting something... I just can't seem to figure out what." Jaehyun sends a glare towards his bandmate, this shutting them up. You hear a few footsteps shuffling, the door closing. "They're gone for now. Let me change then we can go home." You nod once, pulling away from the hug.

"I love you. Thank you." You utter. Jaehyun presses a kiss to your forehead before replying, "I love you, too. And thank you for today." You send him a small smile, taking his hand. God, did you love this man.

[byuntrash101]

what you deserve

soft dom!juyeon x f!reader x mean dom!hyunjae smut | mdni 4.2k your bf younghoon is just a dick... your best friends just want to show you what you deserve nsfw tags under the cut

slut shaming reader (hj calls her easy), lots of teasing, fingering (because have you seen juyeon's hands? gotta put those to use), begging, pet names (princess, doll, baby, kitten), praising, degradation (slut, whore), slight dumbification, nipple play, unprotected sex but reader is on the pill (these stunts are performed by professionnals don't try this at home), spitroasting/eiffel tower, multiple orgasms (f), oral (m), creampie, double penetration, anal

a/n: would you believe me if i said it took 1 whole ass fucking year to finish this? (yes i started writing on the 1st October 22) (smh)

the boyz masterlist | navigation

Deep down you knew it wasn’t true. You knew Younghoon couldn’t be your soulmate. Most of the time he would ditch you to go hang out with his friends and not return your calls or texts for the whole night then turn up home completely drunk and smelling of an other woman's perfume, even if he denied it every time. So saying Younghoon wasn’t the best boyfriend was to say the least an understatement. 

Deep down you knew that. You knew he didn’t really love you but just used you for entertainment purposes. 

So why? Why? Did you still believe that little voice in your head? Despite the sleepless nights, despite the countless tears shed, despite the pain. You still believed you two had a chance, you still believed you could fix him… 

But did you still love him?

“What are you doing?” the stern voice of Hyunjae erupted from beside you, sitting with you on the comfortable and cushioned couch, making you jump and hurriedly hide your screen from his scrutinizing eyes.

“Huh? Hmm… Nothing” you lied, quickly typing out the rest of your text to your boyfriend.

“She’s talking to Younghoon” Juyeon snitched, seated right at your other side, as he perfectly accomplished a dangerous maneuver with Princess Peach’s pink kart securing the first place right in front of Hyunjae.

Hyunjae groaned but you didn’t know if it was because he was certain to lose the race or if it was well… because of you. 

“Y/N!” He shouted putting the controller down before even finishing the race.

Well… you knew now.

“I can’t believe you’re still with that fucking asshole” Hyunjae whistled through gritted teeth.

You knew Hyunjae despised Younghoon, hence why you were trying to hide away the screen from the eyes of your best friend. But as you turned the device the other way Juyeon snatched it from your hands. 

“What did she send ?” Hyunjae avidly asked.

“Please don’t read it” you asked Juyeon, pleading eyes bordering on begging to preserve the ridiculous trace amount of pride you had left and not read yet another text in which you bent over backwards for your ungrateful boyfriend.

“I’m not gonna read it” Juyeon declared. You exhaled in relief while Hyunjae scoffed. “But I am going to take it away for the rest of the night”. 

“What? Please give it back” you tried to reach for it but Juyeon was way taller and had longer arms there was no way you would be able to take it back from him.

“No. Just enjoy a fun gaming night with us. Okay?” Juyeon smiled at you with that adorable eye smile that you’ve been unable to say no to since middle school.

“Fine”

You played a little more Mario Kart but it was as if the atmosphere had changed.

“Can I ask you something ?” Juyeon finally asked. 

There he goes again… You thought.

The three of you were best friends for almost as long as you could remember and you knew them like the back of your hands.

When something awkward like that happened Hyunjae and yourself would rather ignore it and you would give each other time to forgive and forget but not Juyeon. He would just bluntly speak his truth.

“Sure” you said as you paused the game and Hyunjae groaned again.

“Why him?” Juyeon asked, putting his phone down. You sighed in annoyance and the 

question.

“I don’t know, Juyeon, OK? I don't know why I love him.” You said as you rubbed your aching temple.

“You can do so much better though!” He protested while Hyunjae looked at you with stern eyes.

“You deserve someone that’s going to be thoughtful and kind” Juyeon almost whispered with his deep voice, bringing the back of his hand to your cheek. 

With this simple touch the atmosphere had changed again. Juyeon’s cat-like eyes fixed on your lips, leaning dangerously as you felt his warm reassuring touch on your cheek. It felt safe and somehow you didn’t have it in you to pull away.

“Someone like me? Maybe?” he murmured, his lips grazing yours. He paused right there. Giving you one last chance to pull away, to remain faithful to your morals but… how could you? You felt the heat radiating from his face and his soft breath fanning your cheeks. You didn’t want him to stop. 

So he leaned in to close the distance between your lips and finally kissed you. The electric charge from the thrill of kissing your best friend traveled from your lips all the way down to your core, making your guts stir in excitement.

Juyeon’s hand moved from your cheek to your nape to gently press your lips further onto his own, slightly parting them to let his tongue lap at yours. Heat pulled in your lower stomach while your eyelids fluttered close, losing yourself in this kiss. Juyeon’s large palm sliding up your thigh as he kissed you softly.

“Right, my princess? “ he whispered, breaking the kiss, leaving your lips yearning for more, you nodded, looking at him through your lashes when you heard Hyunjae scoff behind you.

The brief sound brought you back to reality. You whipped your head to your side where you are greeted by the icy cold gaze of the older one, eyeing you scornfully. 

“You’re wasting your time” he said, maintaining the unwavering eye contact. “She doesn’t care about this…” he brought his hand to your cheek caressing slightly before he shifted to entangle his slender fingers around your hair “She only likes pain” he said before suddenly giving a quick and sharp pull, ripping from your lips a surprised whimper, which made Hyunjae smirk evilly.

“I knew it” he whispered, bending over you and pressing his hot lips to your cheek. "You only yearn to be treated like the little whore that you are. You want to be my little slut. Want me to hurt you, huh?" he said before he used your hair again to make you turn your head, breaking your neck into position and crashing his lips onto yours. The difference with Juyeon was blatant, overwhelming even. Hyunjae was devouring you. It was clear he wasn’t intending to ask for anything. He was demanding, he was taking what was his. And you were ready to give it all up to him… To them.

You felt Juyeon’s rough hands wrap around your waist from behind while he planted soft kisses and bites from your nape to your ear. Licking and nibbling around it while you felt his hands make quick work of rolling up your skirt past your waist line. You gasped when his large palm brushed against the thin skin of your inner thigh which Hyunjae saw as an opportunity to kiss you even deeper as you moaned into his mouth.

“Spread your legs for me, doll” Juyeon cooed, lips still pressed to the wet patch of skin on your neck. “Good girl” he praised when you did. His large palm brushed over your clothed center and you arched your back in an unpremeditated reflex, pushing your hips forward onto the older man. You felt Hyunjae’s lips pull into a sly smirk.

“Really?” he said, breaking the kiss “Already offering yourself like this?” he chuckled. "You're so fucking easy. Anyone could get it with you"

You whimpered and squirmed in embarrassment but kept your legs wide open nonetheless, which Hyunjae didn’t fail to notice. He scoffed.

“What a little slut you are” he drew back, eyes sweeping across your whole figure to finally settle on your most private part.

When Juyeon finally pushed your panties to the side and let the living room ceiling light shine directly on your center you felt like you were going to faint from the adrenaline rapidly rushing to your brain, making your breath itch in your throat. Hyunjae caught his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Look at that we barely even touched you and you’re already this wet?” Hyunjae spat with one cocked eyebrow, peering at your slicked and glistening folds with disdain.

You opened your mouth to talk back, to defend yourself but you could only deeply sigh in bliss as Juyeon's rough hand brushed against your unclothed bundle of nerves. And it was only then that you realized how right Hyunjae was and how wet you actually were. 

Your wetness had soaked through the panties and was nearly dripping down to the floor. Juyeon had no trouble gathering and spreading it all over you. He gently and slowly circled your swollen nub, teasing it, lewd wet and squelching sounds erupting from the shameless act. Making you inexorably wetter and hungry for more. 

He kept teasing you slowly as he laid wet kisses on the side of your neck, heavily breathing into your ear while Hyunjae palmed his hard member through his tighter-than-ever pants thoroughly enjoying you being spread in full display for him.

After what felt like hours of teasing you finally gathered the courage to protest in the form of a tiny high pitched whimper.

“What's wrong, my baby?” Juyeon huffed into your ear before sucking on your lobe, the heat from his mouth raised goosebumps on your skin.

“Please” you mustered, barely above a whisper.

“Please what?” he asked as you felt his lips on your neck being pulled into a smirk.

“Please I want your fingers inside me” you murmured as if you almost didn’t want the words you were speaking to actually be heard but to no avail. Both of your best friends heard you clear as day.

“Pathetic” Hyunjae said as he seemed to be palming himself with more pressure, looking anything but displeased.

“Anything for you, my princess” Juyeon cooed and immediately sunk his middle finger inside you, a disproportionately large palm resting over your mound. He circled his finger deep inside and you felt his blunt nail graze on your g spot which made you whimper and throw your head back, resting it on his shoulder.

The dull pleasure was making your head spin so much that you didn’t even hear when Hyunjae unzipped his jeans and slipped out of his boxers.

“Yeah finger fuck her. I’ll fuck her throat” he scoffed while he approached you, hard dick in hand. “Come here” he said as he forcefully pulled you towards him. The hot tip pressed against your closed mouth and precum glazed your bottom lip.

As if the stars aligned, at the exact same time as Hyunjae pushed his cock past your lips Juyeon slipped a second finger inside you, thick and long fingers stretching you out so perfectly. You moaned as Hyunjae slipped inside you, his taste spreading on your tongue, adding even more fuzz to your already foggy thoughts.

“Fuck” he said under his breath, grabbing a fistfull of your hair, bending your neck backwards and forcing you to look up at him. The pain on your scalp took your mind off the rising pleasure Juyeon was inflicting on you and you looked up at the older male with teary eyes while he kept on pushing his dick inside your wet mouth until he had to force the last couple of centimeters down your throat. And he stayed there. Look down at you as you choked on his length.

“Such a good girl for us. You take him so well, baby” Juyeon praised you as he picked up the pace, making your eyes roll back. “So pretty all stretched out and wet for us.”

“Keep your mouth open” Hyunjae whispered before finally pulling out to let you have a quick breather before he smashed his hips back into your face, setting a rapid rhythm. The burning sensation in your throat made your heart race and as Juyeon was having his way with you, circling and flicking your clit you felt the precious build up of your release forming in the pit of your stomach.

“Fuck” Hyunjae groaned as he kept on the furious pace. “It’s like this mouth was made for me. Perfectly fitted little cocksleeve” he tugged at your hair again, making you moan on his length.

You almost lost your mind when Juyeon brought his second hand to circle your clit as the other one was still pumping in and out of you. Your muffled moans grew louder on Hyunjae’s cock, the vibrations making him shiver. 

“Baby you’re so tight” Juyeon murmured in your hot ear. “You wanna cum?” he asked, slipping a third finger inside you and you almost came on the spot as you were deliciously stretched out top and bottom by your best friends. “You can cum, kitten.”

It’s the only thing you needed as your body was waiting for this command to immediately let go of the knot. You quivered and moaned, while your jaw went lax around Hyunjae. Your center tightly gripping on Juyeon’s digits, desperate to ever let them go. Twitching and spasming in delicious bliss.

“Good girl” Juyeon cooed as he gradually slowed down allowing you to ride off your high at your own speed.

“I can’t believe you fucking came already.” Hyunjae spat at you with mean eyes as he pulled his cock from your agape mouth, you took a deep breath and sighed in bliss.

But you looked down when you felt two hands going up your thighs and you were met with Hyunjae’s glacial eyes.

“You won’t need that anymore” without a heads up he tore away your panties, ripping them to shreds with a grunt as you gasped in surprise. “I want to know how this little pussy feels like” he whispered through gritted teeth, eyeing you like candy, avid hands pulling at your hips to bring you closer to the edge on the couch. In some kind of protective reflex you wanted to close your legs but Juyeon hands that were still glistening with your wetness kept them open.

“Can you be a good girl for us and keep your legs nice and spread like this?” his deep voice asked softly. The tone was soft, slightly contrasting with the strong grasp on both your thighs.

You nodded.

“Good girl”

Hyunjae didn't wait for a second. He brought his scolding hot tip to your folds and glazed himself into your juices, thoroughly coating his length as he pumped his fist around it a couple of times before pushing the tip in. 

Immediately your eyes rolled to the back of your skull and your arch your back into the couch, biting your bottom lip trying not to moan. That attempt turned out to be a failure as Hyunjae progressed inside your wet heat. When he bottomed out you let out a small cry of pleasure. As Juyeon felt your thighs twitch lightly he withdrew his hands to bring them up to your chest and kneed your breasts. His large hands lifted your top and pulled on your bra releasing your beautiful tits which made Hyunjae grunt as he fucked himself inside your cunt. Juyeon’s big palm laid over the two lumps of sensitive flesh and worked them gently, his fingers curling around your nipples to roll them around.

“So pretty, baby” Juyeon cooed into your ear, looking over your shoulder at how your tits bounced every time Hyunjae drilled his cock into you. Juyeon can’t take it anymore, he also wants to know how you feel around him and you feel him slip from behind you. You instantly miss his warm hands over your body. But the disappointment is short-lived. Because you feel his hand softly wrap around your jaw, pulling your face to look up at him. Your gaze quickly dropped from his gentle eyes to his thick cock laying heavily in his hands as he pumped himself a couple of times approaching the wet tip to your lips. 

Instinctively your lips parted to let your tongue swipe and have a taste of his essence. Which made Juyeon hiss in pleasure, fist growing stronger around his cock, making the veins of his forearm pop. He drove his cock into your mouth, earning a low grunt from him. You lips painfully stretched to accommodate to Juyeon’s girth.

“Fuckk” he cursed under his breath. ���Such a good girl taking my cock like this”. He said wrapping his long fingers around your nape, giving you an encouraging push. You didn’t need more to quicken your pace, gobbling his cock as far as you could manage without hesitation.

“What a fucking whore” Hyunjae grunted as he gave you one particularly strong thrust, the sharp pleasure making you moan on Juyeon’s length. “You love cock so much? Look at you swallowing his cock like it’s your only goal in life?” He picked up the pace smashing his hips into yours. Your attention switching from Juyeon to Hyunjae. “Is that it? Your only goal is to be filled with cocks?”

“Phhfuckk” you attempted to say, your mouth full to the brim.

“So pretty baby.” Juyeon cooed as he started to thrust into your mouth when your attention got diverted. “So pretty full of cocks”

The coil in your guts tightened again as your gaze fluttered between Jueyon’s soft smile and Hyunjae’s mean eyes. Once again close to the edge.

“Keep going. She’s going to cum” Juyeon said to his friend. Not daring to take his eyes off your wet ones. Hyunjae scoffed.

“Again?” he said, gripping your thighs tighter and drilling his cock into you harder as he felt your cunt clamp around him, dangerously fluttering. “Go ahead and cum. It’s all you’re good for.” he said, one hand leaving your thigh to slap against your cunt. The pain made you choke on Juyeon. 

“Fuck” he grunted while you mumbled intelligibly, earning another slap before Hyunjae started to draw small and quick circles on your swollen and painful little clit.

That made you cross the edge again. Your body shook against Hyunjae’s relentless hips. Your pussy clenching around him and fluttering in delicious and intoxicating pleasure. Screams of bliss muffled by Juyeon’s length, making him shiver, bucking his hips into your mouth a little harsher.

Hyunjae pulled out quickly and wanted to stuff you back but was interrupted by Juyeon.

“Come on man, it’s my turn now” Juyeon said, taking his dick out of your mouth, letting you take deep breaths as you slowly came down from your high.

“Fine” Hyunjae spat as he got out of between your legs. “I was almost done” he mumbled.

Juyeon sat beside you on the couch once again he looked at you and patted his thighs.

“Ride me baby” he said and you immediately hopped on his lap. Your tits shoved in his face he took a deep breath, letting his brain be soaked with the pheromone filled smell of sex that was imprinted into your sweaty skin.

You took his length between your fingers and pumped a couple of times before you sunk your hips into his cock.

“Ffffuck” Juyeon sighed, before licking a big stripe between your tits, collecting the glistening sweat.

Hyunjae didn’t miss one second of the show. He pumped his cock as he watched you bounce on his friend’s cock. Looking attentively at the way your pussy spread wide to take him in, spitting him out covered with your slick, all of that forming a beautiful soundtrack of moans, grunts and squelching wet sounds.

Hyunjae kept on fisting his rock hard and dripping cock as the same rhythm as you lifted your hips and let them smash back down. 

“How is it in there, dude?” he asked Juyeon.

“F-fucking great” he responded not taking your tits out his mouth.

“Yeah I know. Slutty cunts are the best. Because they just suit anyone.” He said letting his free hand slap your ass. Making you arch your back and bounce even harder. A silent plea for more. And it’s exactly what you got. “And this one she’s one real easy whore. Letting anyone fuck her raw” He spanked your ass again, even harder this times, leaving a beautiful print behind on your skin. “Isn’t it right, slut?”

“Yesssss!!!!” you panted, bouncing even harder, the familiar build up heating up in your guts again, Juyeon’s large hands gripping the underside of your thighs and aiding you bounce on him while he muffled his moans in your chest. “I’m a slut a real fucking whore for you. I love both your cocks so much”

“Is that so?” Hyunjae said, tilting his head, his lips being pulled in a sly smirk as an idea blossomed in his lust soaked mind.

He approached his tip to your ass, rubbing his hard-on on your cheeks. Before leaning over and spitting a big wad right into your pucker. Making the hole blink.

“Since you love our cock so much. You don’t mind me taking your ass, right?” he said pressing his tip still wet with your slick into your only available hole. 

“Oh G-god” you chocked when you felt your ass being spread open.

“Please” Hyunjae chuckled still pushing inside you. “Just call me Hyunjae” he said cockily as he pushed the last inch into your bottomless hole. 

“Fuckkk it feels so good” he cried out stopping your hips, your nails digging into Juyeon’s shoulders, urging him to fuck up into your cunt. He did so immediately. His dick grazing against Hyunjae’s inside your ass.

“Fuckk” the older one hissed when he felt the coming and going of his friend through the small membrane that separated both your holes.

He started to fuck into your asshole as soon as you looked accustomed to him. He loved to watch the way your asshole dragged into his cock every time he pulled out just to welcome him back into your warmth once he pushed back in.

“Fuck baby you’re so good to us” Juyeon as lightly tugging at your erect nipple with his teeth. “So pretty for us. So fucking good.” He panted fucking his hips uo into you, making your pussy cream around him, wet sounds bouncing of the walls.

He was so close. So fucking close he could taste it.

“Fuck kitten. I’m going to cum soon” he said, grip growing stronger on your thighs.

“Yeah please. Please!! Please fill me up!” you urged when you felt another slap into your ass.

“What a filthy fucking slut begging for cum like that” Hyunjae groaned. “Want mine too whore?”

“Yees fuck please. yesyesyesyesyes!!!” you chanted, feeling both of your holes grip around the cock that were both plowing into you, rearranging your guts so deliciously. 

“Then fucking take it” Hyunjae says slipping his hand into your hair and pulling harshly. Letting his cock pump your ass full of tasty hot cum, his hips absolutely rutting into your ass, grunting and moaning. So much so that it made the cum spill out and drip on his friend's cock. But both of them couldn’t care less.

“Fuck baby. ‘m- c-” Juyeon can’t even bring himself to make full sentences and follows right after Hyunjae. You feel his enormous cock twitch inside you, delivering an ungodly amount of white hot cum right in the deepest part of you, if it wasn’t for the pill you were taking you’d be sure to be knocked up right away. His dick brush again against your soft spot and the way you feel both your holes filled with cum make you tip over the edge. And you find yourself squirting all over both their dicks in a pleasure filled scream. Your juices spray out of you in big streams, completely soaking Juyeon laid under you which makes his hips stutter a little. This orgasm is the most intense one of the night, making both your holes flutter. Your cunt clenching around Juyeon and your asshole blinking around Hyunjae while you pant and moan in complete euphoria.

The next few instants are a blur. None of you speak, only pants and sighs can be heard. All three of you, piled up on top of each other, drained and content. But the blissful silence is interrupted by the low vibrations of a phone..

A phone? your phone!

Juyeon haphazardly reaches into the pocket of his jeans laying somewhere near and holds the device to you.

You have dozens of unread texts from Younghoon and even more missed calls. Poor thing… he’s not used to you going silent on him. Not his precious and naive girlfriend.

You pushed your messy hair out of your face and picked up the call.

“Yeah?” you say voice sounding a little rough, nothing surprising given the things that were just in your mouth and roughing up your throat.

“What the fuck are you doing? Why aren't you answering my texts?” Younghoon asks, panic seeping in his rushed voice.

Hyunjae chuckled coldly behind you.

“Come cuddle, baby.” Juyeon said, pouting so much it was audible.

“WHO THE FUCK IS THAT???? Y/N??? IS THAT JUYEON???”

“Hmmmm” you hesitated before Hyunjae snatched the phone from behind you.

“You guys are done. Don’t call her again”

“WHAT THE F-”

bip bip bip

IF U WANNA HELP ME PLEASE REBLOG WITHOUT USING THE COMMUNITY LABELS 🖤

the boyz masterlist | navigation

[neoraso]

bf things with tbz

sfw, gn reader , similar to my subtle skinships but something a little new ♡ hope you enjoy

ｓａｎｇｙｅｏｎ

waking up before you to prepare breakfast and maybe even pack a lunch for your school or work day

drawing bubble baths for you (and if you ask him to join of course he will oblige)

day trips!! always opens the car door for you and makes sure you're buckled up before leaving

buying you gifts especially jewelry and leaving it on your bed while you’re away so you have something sweet to come home to

literally already acts like a husband to you like . once you do get married not much will change,,he worships you

ｊａｃｏｂ

playing his guitar when you can’t sleep

making playlists with songs that remind him of you/your relationship. sometimes he sends them to u and they're called like "for my love"

wants you to be involved with his family and includes you in his calls and facetimes with them

likes driving you to spots and parking just to listen to music and talk with you

very even-keeled and becomes your rock. always there to listen to you talk about your day looking at you with heart eyes the whole time.

ｙｏｕｎｇｈｏｏｎ

always getting you little things when he travels on tour like even if its a little keychain, and writes a little note or card to go with it

regularly talks about your future together like it's obvious you're life partners

literally never argues with you,, even when you disagree he's very sensitive to you and just wants to work things out peacefully with you.

you're his whole world. he adores you, has to let everyone (including you) know as much as possible, reminds you he's a better person because he met you.

will drop everything to make sure you're ok. brings you drinks or food when he can during your day. if you're feeling down he will like - run errands for you, bring you snacks etc

ｈｙｕｎｊａｅ

regularly brings you to his family home bc he knows how much his parents (and darong) love you

sends you pics of the sunset when he’s away at work but thinking about you

frequent hugs with kisses that start from the top of your head until he works his way down to your cheeks

has to be holding your hand,, crossing the street? laces your fingers for safety, sitting down together? grabs your hand and kisses the back of it

likes when you do his hair care and fix it for him the best. closes his eyes and hums when you're putting the product in and massaging his scalp

ｊｕｙｅｏｎ

petting your hair when he’s sat next to you and his arm around you also loves to give you shoulder/neck/head massages to relieve your stress

always keeping an eye out to make sure you’re good in social situations (he may seem aloof but he’s in tune with you!!) ur happiness is his happiness

that being said . sometimes he doesn’t realize when you’re flirting with him he just thinks you’re making conversation T^T but then he catches on and tries to play into it which usually ends up in yall giggling maybe kissing

refuses to let you pay for anything, provides for you happily

so patient with you, always listening attentively with eye contact and appropriate responses <3 an angel

ｋｅｖｉｎ

always trying to make you laugh whether it be twerking, sending you tiktoks he thinks you’ll like

baking and cooking for you ! his lucky taste tester,, literally doesn’t care if you just sit there and watch him but would love if you joined him!!

loves that you have a good relationship with stella lowk gets jealous when she texts you with news before him

brags about you to anyone that will listen "they're so funny and cool and great and smart,, i'm so lucky"

makes up little songs to narrate what you're doing even if it's like. the dishes -_-

ｃｈａｎｈｅｅ

couple fashion yes yes ! obsessed with taking ootd pics with you

expect his whole camera roll to be you and his favorites are all the ones of you together

always attentive to you whether it be getting something off your clothes, getting you water, reminding you to rest and offering his shoulder when he notices you're tired, moving your necklace clasp to the back, etc

lowkey gets nervous around you like NOT THAT HE'S NOT COMFORTABLE but if you give him too much eye contact he starts blushing and laughing

always leaning on you, head on your shoulder, hanging on you holding your hand/arm. JUST loves u sm and wants to be close to you it's sweet.

ｃｈａｎｇｍｉｎ

wants to “do your hair” and ends up knotting it up (he’ll brush it out though)

gives you really weird hypothetical situations bc he knows you'll actually put thought into your answers <3

he's a silly guy but he likes his chill time and loves it more when you're with him. sometimes he'll bring you home and you take ghana on walks together,, or he just wants to watch a movie with your feet propped across his lap yktv

whenever you're out together at a cafe or restaurant he always lets you taste his order before him and lets you have as much as you want if you like it

will bite you. you'll just be laying together and he bites whatever part is closest NOT even hard enough to leave marks like juyeon but just enough where he can express his ,,,, cute aggression

ｈａｋｎｙｅｏｎ

shares his love through food with you

has a specific time slot for you in his week set aside for just spending time together whether he's taking you out or spending a night with snacks and a movie :>

loves when he can get you up early to watch the sunrise together (always brings coffee/tea and a pastry for you)

your biggest cheerleader. literally texts you with a message every morning encouraging you for the day

comes home singing loudly to announce his presence. you're the first thing he looks for when he walks through the door and has to give you an ENGULFING hug and at least 3 kisses on your face to prove how much he missed you

ｓｕｎｗｏｏ

saying you’re “too far” when there’s more than 5cm between you

if he's sitting across from you he holds your hand(s) INSIDE his sleeves

low-hanging fruit but he absolutely has a folder FULL of songs about you

loves nights where he's just laying in between your legs or when he's holding you,, either way just wants you close, doting on you all night

pretends to be too cool for being your sweet angel baby sugarplum fairy but when you pull away from showering him in affection he goes "why did you stop -_-"

ｅｒｉｃ

has a picture of you as his lockscreen and his wallpaper, in his wallet, on his mirror, a framed one on his dresser, etc. etc.

if you're watching a movie and an attractive person comes on, he covers your eyes with his hands and says you should only be looking at him bc he thinks he's sooooo funny

always buys you a mango juice or whatever drink you like when he gets his from the convenience store

wants to include you in everything he does as much as possible whether it be going out with his friends, all his days off, his early morning walks

needs his face as close to yours as possible; kissing your cheeks/eyelids/nose biting your ear, etc etc

do not repost or rework/copy any of my posts here or on other sites

[mymoodwriting]

16.3k, yandere, sirens, minor hydrophobia, sleep walking, lucid dreaming, potential drowning, trauma, drugs, manipulation, kidnapping, smut, aphrodisiac, monster fucking, monster cock, fingering, penetration, female penetration, french kissing, pussy licking, cream pie, implied gang bang (@starillusion13)

“This trip is gonna be awesome!”

Your friends had always told you to visit the Fairy Tale Waterfall, since it was a big tourist attraction, and something you had to do at least once in your life. You agreed, it was an incredible place, but you definitely didn’t have the heart to tell them you had already been there once, and weren’t really eager to go back. You had gone with another friend group back then and over the last year had drifted apart. You didn’t want to disappoint your new friends and make them feel bad if you were left out, so you packed a bag and went out with them.

You arrived at the waterfall early in the morning, the sunlight shining down on the water, making it sparkle. This place was really beautiful, you couldn’t deny that. Although you felt this nervousness in the back of your head as you stared at the water. You knew how to swim, and you still did so at pools and the beach, but this waterfall, you weren’t so sure you wanted to get in the water at all. You put that to the side and helped your friends set up the tents. You focused on that even as some of the others went for a swim, saying you wanted to make sure everything was set up before nightfall.

When you had mostly finished up you took a little break, sitting down in the shade of a tree, staring out at your friends. They were having so much fun, and their smiles brought one to your face. This really was an amazing place and you were glad to be here, but the memories of the past continued to haunt you. This whole scene before you actually felt like deja vu, especially when your friends noticed you and began gesturing for you to join them. You shook your head and pointed towards your campsite, telling them you weren’t done. They let it go for now, but you began to worry. It might not have been a good idea to come at all. As you continued to watch them you could help but think back to the last time you had been here.

🖤

“Y/n! Get up and get in the water!”

You opened your eyes to the sound of your friends calling for you. A groan escaped your lips, followed by a smile. You took a moment and then dressed yourself before stepping out of the tent. The warm sun shined down on you, and after a moment your eyes adjusted. You saw your friends out at the water, seeing them waving and gesturing for you to come over. You walked towards the shoreline, but yelped when you felt the water.

“It’s so cold!”

“Just get in!” Jemma shouted. “You’ll warm up to it.”

You laughed and walked into the water, shivering a bit but smiling all the way. Your friends cheered as you wadded over to them.

“Y/N!”

You heard a splashing sound, hearing a familiar voice call your name. You stopped and turned around, seeing your friend, Ally, frantically making their way over to you. It was an odd sight especially when you had seen Ally with your group of friends that had called you out. Something was off, and it was starting to freak you out. As Ally approached you stepped back, panicking. You wound up slipping and going under. When you resurfaced everything had changed. Day had turned to night and you felt a greater chill in the water. While you looked around confused and disoriented Ally caught up to you.

“Y/n, what the hell are you doing?”

“Huh?”

Ally could tell you weren’t in your right mind, so she helped you out of the water and onto dry land. She told you to stay put and not move a muscle while she went to get you a towel. She helped you dry off, bringing you over to a fire to help warm you up.

“Wa… what happened?”

“You don’t remember?”

“I… I don’t know…”

“Girl, I woke up to get a drink and I see you walking out into the water. You scared me, were you sleepwalking or something?”

“I… I guess… I thought… you guys were out there… and it was morning…”

“Talk about a vivid dream. Let’s properly dry you up and change your clothes.”

You got up and went with Ally, cleaning up and getting into dry clothes. You couldn’t really go back to sleep, but come morning you packed up, Ally and your friends thinking it best to leave after such an experience, and you weren’t going to argue with them. As everyone finished packing you stared out into the water. Something strange happened to you, but you couldn’t quite understand it, nor did you want to. You thought you’d never come back, but it seemed that fate had something else in mind.

🖤

As the sun went down you helped prepare dinner, coming along with some of the guys, the smell of meat in the air. For everyone’s safety you had agreed on no alcohol, but you had plenty of other refreshments for the trip. You played some games to determine tent-mates and then everyone slowly started turning in for the night. You were one of the last to go to bed, staying up to admire the stars and the calmness of the water. Although after a while a bit of uneasiness settled in and you figured it was best to go to bed. For your own sake you set up a little trip wire with a bell on it outside your tent, just in case something happened again. You hoped that wouldn’t be the case, but at least you found it easier to fall asleep.

Come morning you woke to the smell of breakfast, hearing your friends outside. You made your way out, startling yourself when you tripped over a wire, a bell snapping you awake. You tumbled to the ground panting, sound hearing some chuckles, and then a hand came into view. Your tent-mate, Misu, helped you back onto your feet, commenting on your little contraption. She noticed right away when she got up and was careful not to trip it so you could sleep in. She didn’t think you would fall for it yourself, but one could be very groggy in the morning. Things were left like that and you joined the others for breakfast. Although today you probably couldn’t avoid going into the water, and it made you a bit nervous.

“Y/n, look over there.”

Avary pointed over to a group of boys near the water. It was so early in the morning but they were already going for a swim. You could feel the blood rush to your face as you noticed some of them weren’t wearing any shirts, and the others were in white t-shirts that were already soaked. You had never seen such a thing before, and you couldn’t stop staring.

“This is exactly why we came to the waterfall.” Misu commented. “The boys. We should say hi, maybe go for a swim together.”

“I… I don’t know… I… we can’t bother them…”

“Y/n, if they were just here to swim then they wouldn’t be doing all that.”

“I… I guess…”

Misu had a point. The boys weren’t just swimming around, but being very playful with each other, and being quite loud. At this point they were surely attracting everyone’s attention. Maybe this could work in your favor. You were already too nervous to enter the water, and you could use the pretty boys as another reason not to go. You’d surely embarrass yourself if you got near them anyway. Yet, you couldn’t help but stare, something about them drawing your gaze. You only broke away when your friends called to you.

After breakfast you helped clean up, your other friends going off to swim and make conversation with those boys. They’d be distracted trying to make nice with them, so you trusted they wouldn’t be bothering you about getting into the water. You were right about that, even as you kept catching yourself staring at them. You didn’t know what it was about them that kept getting your attention, but you tried not to keep staring. After the fifth time you told yourself you needed to have the waterfall out of your line of sight, so you went to your tent. Since it had always been your plan to stay out of the water you brought a book with you to keep you busy.

You laid down to read it, having a mini fan in the tent to keep you cool. You got engrossed in your book until you heard a bell that startled you. A scream escaped your lips and you quickly turned around, seeing a stranger poke their head into your tent. You screamed again and they quickly apologized, stepping out. Once you had regained your breath you carefully crawled over to the entrance of your tent, looking out at the boy who had startled you. He had a nervous smile on his face, waving at you and apologizing once more. Now that you got a good look at him you realized he was one of the boys you had been staring at earlier. You immediately retreated back into your tent, feeling your face heating up again.

“Excuse me…” The boy peeked down into the tent. “Are you alright?”

“Uh… fine… uh… can I help you?”

“Could you come out of the tent?”

“… why…”

“Well, it’s difficult to talk this way.”

“…”

“I won’t bite.”

“… what do you want…?”

“To talk.”

“Why?”

“To be honest, I was curious about you. I saw you staring again and again, yet you didn’t go into the water. Are you afraid or something?”

“What’s it to you?”

“This is the Fairy Tale Waterfall, one of the most beautiful places there is, but you won’t get into the water. Why bother coming all the way here if you’re not gonna enjoy yourself to the fullest?”

“I’m perfectly fine where I am…”

“Are you though?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know, I can teach you how to swim if you want to.”

“I know how.”

“Then why don’t you come out to play?”

“I’m good.”

“You’re very interesting.”

“Y/n!”

You heard the voice of your friend. You were glad not to be alone anymore, and this gave you the motivation to get out of the tent. You scrambled out and ignored the boy nearby, looking for your friend. When you tried to walk away your arm was grabbed and you were held back.

“Ya! Let go.”

“We weren’t done talking.”

“Y/n! Oh- I see you’ve met Juyeon.”

“Who?”

“I’m Juyeon.” The boy introduced himself. “Nice to meet you.”

“Can you let go of my arm now?”

“Ah, sorry.”

Juyeon had quickly changed demeanors when your friend showed up. He was no longer giving creepy vibes, but had a big friendly smile on his face.

“My brothers and I were talking with your friends.” Juyeon explained. “And they mentioned that someone from their group was missing. I thought to come over and get you myself. We don’t want you missing out on the fun.”

“I’m alright, thanks.”

“Come on, y/n. You didn’t get a chance to get in the water at all yesterday, you have to get in today.”

“It’s okay, Mina. Besides, I was about to start preparations for lunch, I’ll call you all when it’s ready.”

“My brothers can prepare lunch for all of us.” Juyeon suggested. “That way you’re free to come and swim with us.”

“Uh…”

“That sounds perfect!” Mina cheered. “Let’s go!”

Before you could say more Mina grabbed your hand and pulled you along towards the water. She caught you off guard so you stumbled behind her, trying to protest. Even as you spoke your eyes were fixated on the water that was fast approaching. Your words were failing you, but just as you got close to the water’s edge you screamed.

“Stop!”

Mina abruptly let you go and stepped back. You slowly settled your breathing, moving away from the water, keeping your arms close to your chest.

“Y/n… are you okay…?”

“… yeah… I’m fine… I just…”

“Y/n…”

“Close your eyes and take a deep breath.” Juyeon took your hands in his and turned your back to the water. “Just breathe, okay?”

Even though you were creeped out by Juyeon earlier it didn’t matter at that moment. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm your breathing. Juyeon gestured for your friend to go, keeping you company while you regained your composure.

“Just focus on my voice and breathe. Everything’s going to be okay.”

“… sorry…”

“What are you apologizing for? You didn’t do anything wrong. Just breathe, you’re okay.”

Once you had steadied your breathing you opened your eyes, seeing the worry on Juyeon’s face. He quickly hid it behind a soft smile, giving you some reassurance.

“Hey, you okay?”

“I’m fine…”

“We should go back to the tent, right?”

“Yeah…”

“Alright. Let’s go, one foot after the other, I got you.”

Juyeon stayed at your side while you made your way back to your tent. Your legs were a bit wobbly, but he made sure you didn’t fall. He helped you get back into your tent, not wanting you out in the sun, and disappeared for a moment to get you some water. You took the bottle and he figured that was an invitation to join you. It wasn’t, but you didn’t have the energy to tell him otherwise. Juyeon sat down next to you, pulling his knees up to his chest. He watched you quietly for a moment.

“What happened?”

“Huh?”

“What happened to you that you’d react like that?”

“Why do you care?”

“Well, what am I supposed to tell the others? Everyone saw…”

“Ugh, I never should have come back here in the first place.”

“How about this, you tell me what happened to you a year ago, and I make sure no one mentions this little incident. Deal?”

“As if you could do that.”

“You’d be surprised.”

You stared at Juyeon, but he kept that friendly smile on his face. You had never really told anyone about what happened, and those that had been present back then were no longer in your friends circle. Maybe you did need to talk about it, and a stranger was less likely to judge.

“I won’t tell anyone.”

You sighed. “It’s silly.”

“I doubt that considering the way you reacted.”

“Last time I was here… I wound up sleepwalking into the water… it was the middle of the night, but for some reason I thought it was morning… my friend saw me and went after me… in my disoriented state I slipped under the water and panic took hold… I nearly drowned… I would have drowned if not for her…”

“And is that friend here with you?”

“No… we lost touch afterwards… my current friends don’t know about this… I didn’t want to tell them so I agreed to come along, but it was a bad idea… I couldn’t just avoid the water the whole time I’m here… I’m so stupid!”

“No, you’re not. You didn’t want to upset anyone so you came along. I think it’s great you came back here.”

“I don’t think it is.”

“From what I can tell, you’re not afraid of drowning, you know how to swim, what you’re afraid of is the waterfall.”

“That sounds crazy.”

“Is it though? The soothing sound of the calm water probably enticed you and caused you to sleepwalk. That’s understandable.”

“Why are you being so nice?”

“Can’t I? This place is amazing, I love it here, and the last thing I want is for someone to be afraid. Tell you what, how about I help you?”

“With what?”

“This, to overcome your fear so you don’t have to feel silly anymore. Not that it is silly.”

“And why would you help me?”

“Don’t you wanna have fun with all your friends and play in the waterfall? You had fun last time with your friends, so much so that you got into the water without hesitation when you thought they were calling for you. There’s nothing to be scared of. I promise.”

“… what are you gonna tell the others?”

“That you were startled and not ready to go into the water. No one’s gonna bring it up, I swear. So how about we go prepare lunch?”

“… sure… I can help…”

“Awesome.”

Juyeon got out of the tent, careful not to trip over the bells again, and waited for you. It took you a moment but you got out, taking the hand that was offered to you. Juyeon led you over to his camp area, not letting go of your hand the entire way. A few other of his brothers had already started preparing, and welcomed you as you arrived.

“These are my brothers Sangyeon, Jacob, and Younghoon.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Jacob commented. “Hear a lot about you.”

“Really…?”

“Yeah, your friends kept talking about you. Nothing but good things I promise.”

“Right… so what can I help with?”

“How about you wash some vegetables for us.”

“I can do that.”

You helped the boys with lunch preparations, loving the smell in the air. There were plenty of picnic tables in the area, so the boys brought a few together so you could all eat together. Once the food was ready the others were called over and everyone gathered to eat. That’s when you were properly introduced to the rest of Juyeon’s brothers. There wasn’t much of a family resemblance, but from the way they treated each other it was easy to tell they were very close. You on the other hand were a bit nervous, expecting some questions and concerns about the earlier incident, but there were none. Everything seemed normal, as if you didn’t have an outburst at all. You weren’t entirely sure if you should be grateful over such a thing, cause it was kinda strange, but for the moment you could at least enjoy your time with your friends.

“Hey, come with me.”

Hyunjae took your hand and led you away from the others. You thought maybe you’d go back to your camp, but he began making his way towards the water. You stopped, but his pull was far stronger than you anticipated.

“Hyunjae…”

“I know, we’re not getting into the water, I swear, but I wanted to try something.”

“What do you mean?”

“Trust me.”

You probably shouldn’t, but something about his words felt reassuring, so you followed. As he promised, you only came to the edge of the water. Hyunjae sat down and pulled you down with him. Your feet were inches from the water, but you weren’t all that nervous.

“Nothing much can happen at this depth, so there’s nothing to fear. How about we just dip our feet in?”

“… how… who…”

“Maybe I overheard you talking before… but anyway, let’s do this. Nothing like literally getting your feet wet to help you overcome your worries.”

Hyunjae put his feet in the water and gestured for you to do the same. In this situation you could see how your fear would be silly. You were just putting your feet in, and you were mostly on land, so there was no real danger. You took a breath and slowly dipped your feet into the water. The cool sensation was welcomed, and a little smile appeared on your face.

“Good job.” Hyunjae cheered. “See, everything’s okay.”

“Yeah…”

“I’m right here, keeping an eye on you, nothing bad is gonna happen.”

“You can stop, you’re making it sound like I’m a child.”

“Alright, I’ll back off.”

You moved your feet around in the water, feeling a bit childish with your actions. Your gaze was on the water around your limbs. It was clean and beautiful, not at all like it could swallow you whole. When you heard a splash you looked over, seeing Sunwoo swimming towards you. The water was pretty shallow over by you, so he began crawling to get close.

“Look at you, enjoying the waterfall?”

“A bit…”

“That’s good. Why not come in for a swim? I’ll be right with you.”

“I’m okay…”

“Baby steps.” Hyunjae stated. “Little by little. Besides, you shouldn’t be in the water either, Sunwoo, you just ate.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Sunwoo splashed some water up your legs, getting a bit on your shirt. It was refreshing, and you couldn’t help but laugh. You remembered doing all this back then with your friends, deep into the waters of the waterfall without a care in the world. You didn’t want to be scared of such a wonderful place. You stood up and both boys looked at you curiously. You took a shaky step forward, going just a bit deeper into the water. Sunwoo backed away whereas Hyunjae got up and grabbed your arm.

“Woah, we don’t need to do anything drastic today.”

“I can… I can go further…”

“Don’t push yourself.”

“I know… this… this is real… I’m not dreaming… right…? Pinch me.”

“What?”

Sunwoo splashed some water in your face, getting you pretty soaked. You were stunned and wiped your face off before glaring down at Sunwoo.

“What was that for?”

“Splashing water in your face is usually a good way to wake up.”

“I said pinch me.”

“I can do that too.”

Of course Sunwoo didn’t miss the chance to move over to your leg and give you a little pinch. You yelped and jumped back a step.

“So, are you awake?”

“I guess I am.”

“Good. Let’s go waist deep.”

“No, no, no.” Hyunjae mentioned. “You also just ate, you shouldn’t be going into the water.”

“Just a bit more.”

You continued moving forward, even if it was like half a step at a time. Sunwoo was encouraging and cheering, while Hyunjae was worried and right at your side. With every step you thought about what Juyeon had said. You weren’t afraid of drowning, but of the waterfall itself. If you just showed yourself that there was nothing to fear, that it was just one bad experience, then you’d be able to enjoy this place just as you once did. The water got up above your knees when you had a bit of a slip. Hyunjae caught you and Sunwoo got up from the water to make sure you were okay.

“I think that’s good for today.” Hyunjae commented. “Let’s get back to land.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

You got back on shore, and the two took you to your tent, helping you dry off. You definitely needed a change of clothes, so you went off to do that. When you got back the two were still waiting for you.

“Since you’re not gonna swim, what are you gonna do for the afternoon?” Sunwoo asked.

“I have a book with me. So just some relaxing in the shade.”

“Why don’t you come over to our campsite, we have some games and we could keep you company.”

“I wouldn’t want to keep you from your brothers.”

“We come here all the time. So we won’t be missing out on much.”

“You should join us.” Hyunjae said. “You’ll love it.”

“Alright.”

You spent your afternoon with some of the boys in their campsite, playing games and munching on snacks. It was nice, and you felt less bad about not being in the water. Later in the day you helped with dinner, and prepared some sausages and marshmallows for the campfire. Despite what had happened earlier you quite enjoyed your day and were happy to make some new friends. You stayed up a little late roasting marshmallows to make smores while sharing campfire stories. Nothing too spooky, so when you did finally sleep you didn’t have any nightmares. Come morning you were actually looking forward to the day.

After breakfast your friends mentioned they wanted to take a little hike to one of the other pools by the waterfall. You weren’t really one for hiking, but before you could give an answer Chanhee had come over to your camp, asking if anyone wanted to go for a swim. Your friends obviously already had plans, but at least now you had an alternative than to just staying behind. They didn’t seem to mind, and Misu gave you a knowing look telling you to have fun. Once they had gone you went with Chanhee to his campsite, greeting the others. They were happy to see you, and all eager for you to get in the water. Perhaps Juyeon had talked, but you didn’t care to scold him now.

Chanhee and Changmin were the two that took you over to the main pool. Not many others were around, so you’d have the place mostly to yourselves. The first to get into the water was Chanhee, diving under and getting himself completely soaked. He had a bright smile on his face, gesturing for you to join him. As you stared out into the water you felt nervous, but it was minor compared to the other day. You could stand at the edge of the water without being afraid. After a moment you took a deep breath and took a small step forward, feeling the water along your toes. You moved slowly, Changmin right at your side to make sure you were alright.

Although you only got a few inches in before Eric jumped into the water near you. He startled you a bit, causing Changmin to grab your arm and waist. You hadn’t really lost his footing, but his touch assured you that you weren’t alone. Although a moment later you were suddenly soaked as Eric was splashing water in your direction. You couldn’t help but laugh, trying to shield your face before Changmin moved you behind him. The other two began scolding the maknae but you were just curious as to why he had done this.

“What? Sunwoo said it was best to get her all wet so she’d know she’s awake, and pinch her too.”

“We’re not doing that.” Chanhee stated. “So don’t even think about it.”

“He said it was important.”

“It’s alright.”

Eric smiled and stuck his tongue out, going over to you and pinching your arm. You groaned but you grinned through the whole ordeal.

“Wide awake.”

“I am.”

“Good. Now we can continue with the important things.” Changmin said. “Shall we?”

“Yeah, baby steps.”

You continued where you left off, soon enough having water above your knees. It was as far as you had made it yesterday, and the goal was to go further. The water was a bit chilly but you were getting used to it. As you walked you kept your arms up, Changmin right behind you ready to grab you at any point. Meanwhile Chanhee stayed in front of you like a guide. You moved slowly, taking every step with caution and making sure you had your footing. Before you knew it the water was slightly above your waist. Now your nerves were starting to show.

“We can stop here.” Chanhee suggested. “You made good progress.”

“I… I can keep going…”

“You don’t have to.”

“I can… I know how to swim… I won’t drown…”

“We’re right here.” Changmin assured. “You can do this.”

You kept going as you had been, careful with every step. The two cheered you on and encouraged you. It wasn’t long before the water was at your breasts. You started laughing, a bit of nerves and joy mixed together. This wasn’t scary. You weren’t alone and the water around you was calm. Perhaps it was all that which caused you to lose focus. You took one wrong step and slipped into the water. You weren’t under for long but that was enough to trigger you and throw you into a panic.

“Y/n.”

The darkness you were met with when you went under put you back in the mindset of that day. Your vision was blurred and you were frantically reaching out for anything to hold onto. Before panic could truly settle in and take hold you felt someone lift you up. Next thing you knew you were sitting on Changmin’s shoulders, grabbing his face for stability. You were gasping for breath, shaking water out of your face.

“Easy, easy.” Chanhee grabbed your hand, trying to get your attention. “Deep breaths, deep breaths. That’s it, just breathe.”

“… what… what happened…?”

“You just slipped, but you’re okay.”

“… I’m okay…”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s get you back to land.”

Chanhee kept a hold of your hand and Changmin moved slowly, getting you back to shore. You only took a few steps away from the water before collapsing to catch your breath. The two boys came to your side, keeping an eye on you as you recovered. A few of the others came rushing over to check on you.

“She’s alright.” Changmin assured. “Perfectly fine.”

“Good. We should probably dry you off.” Sangyeon held his hand out to you. “Come on.”

You accepted his hand and got to your feet. He kept you close, at his side, as you walked back to camp. As soon as you were there Jacob came over to wrap you in a towel, doing his best to warm you up.

“I’ll get you some cocoa.”

The boys had you sit by the fire, getting you another towel. Haknyeon was working on drying up your hair, being gentle, and keeping conversation.

“When did you learn to swim?”

“Uh… when I was like five…”

“Do you like it? Swimming that is.”

“Yeah. The cool water, moving in a way that feels like floating, it’s great.”

“You must have enjoyed swimming at the waterfall last year. Unlike pools, here the water is constantly moving on its own, adding to the experience.”

“Yeah…”

“You did really well today.”

“I still messed up…”

“You did no such thing. Most people would never come back here, let alone get in the water again after such an experience, but look at you. You’re quite brave don’t you think.”

“I guess…”

You had both hands on the mug of cocoa, using it to warm up. It really wasn’t that cold out, but right now you just wanted to get dry. You had lunch and stayed at the camp to play games again. No one else really brought up what happened in the morning and just focused on the present. You helped with dinner and afterwards found yourself rather tired. You wanted to wait for your friends to return, but sleep was calling to you.

“Maybe you should get to bed.”

“I’m gonna stay up and wait.”

“I don’t think you can.” Kevin chuckled. “Why don’t you go take a nap in one of our tents. We’ll wake you when your friends get back.”

“Sure…”

You couldn’t argue, well, you didn’t want to. A nap sounded like a good idea. One of the others went to get your sleeping bag and had it set down in one of their tents. None of them would be sneaking in later, so you could rest easy. It honestly wasn’t difficult to slip away into dreamland either.

🖤

“Rise and shine.”

You woke to the sounds of someone unzipping the entrance of the tent, peeking over with blurry vision to see Younghoon smiling and waving at you.

“Morning.”

“Morning? You were supposed to wake me when my friends got back.”

“Yeah, but they got back pretty late and didn’t want to wake you. Besides, it seems like you were sleeping happily.”

“Sorry. I’ll head out right now.”

“It’s okay. Let’s have breakfast first.”

Younghoon held his hand out to you, which you took after rubbing the sleep from your eyes. Everyone greeted you, and this time no one let you help with breakfast preparations. The rest of your friends came over to eat, talking about their hike and how much fun they had. You were glad to hear their stories, not speaking about your own activities from the previous day. After eating and waiting for the food to go down many went back out into the waterfall. You thought about yesterday. Even though it ended badly you had made great progress. You needed a different approach this time, and you knew exactly what to do.

“Where are you going?” Sangyeon asked. “Especially by yourself.”

“I’m gonna go swim.”

“What?” 

“I got pretty far into the water, but I keep walking and that’s my problem. The water is deep, if I keep walking I won’t make much progress. I need to swim in the water, that’s how I get my confidence back.”

“Okay, but you’re not going out alone.”

“I’d hope not.”

Sangyeon went with you to the waterfall, finding a place that was mostly empty. He got into the water first, diving down and getting completely soaked. You felt your face getting a bit red, seeing as he was shirtless and now completely soaking wet.

“You coming?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

You slowly walked towards the water, but stopped at the edge. You had to mentally prepare yourself, but you were still nervous.

“I’ll go with you.”

Jacob suddenly appeared at your side, giving you a reassuring smile. He took your hand and the two of you walked into the water. You shivered from the cold water, letting out a yell.

“I guess the morning sunlight hasn’t warmed it up.” Jacob teased. “Shall we check to see if you’re awake?”

You nodded which prompted Sangyeon to splash water in your face. It was still cold, but nothing changed, it was still bright and early. Jacob gave you a little pinch, making you jump ever so slightly going further into the water.

“Shall we continue?”

“Yeah.”

You took a few more steps into the water, getting up to your waist. You stopped and slowly lowered yourself further in, getting the water up to your neck. You moved your arms around, trying to get a good feel for the water. The area around you was clear, so there wouldn’t be anything in your way. You mentally counted to three and then dove down into the water, swimming a little bit before surfacing. The sun was still out, Jacob and Sangyeon in your view, big smiles on their faces.

“I did it.”

“Yeah you did!”

Such joy surged through you, and your fears began to wash away. You were happy to be able to swim in the waterfall again, assured that you were awake and with good company. You swam around with Sangyeon and Jacob, some of the others coming over as well.

“Can I show you something?” Sangyeon asked.

“Sure.”

“Follow me.”

Sangyeon led the way over to the waterfall, helping you get out of the water and carefully moving along the rocks. Next thing you knew you were behind the waterfall in what looked like a cave entrance. You sat down by the edge, watching the backside of the waterfall, taking in the beautiful sounds and scenery.

“I didn’t know you could get back here.”

“It’s a bit risky, but worth it.”

“I agree.”

“I have something for you.”

“Hm?”

Sangyeon grabbed a plastic bag out of his swimtruck, revealing these transparent spheres. He pulled one out and popped it in his mouth, holding the bag out to you.

“These are gummies, mystery flavor. It’s my favorite so I thought you’d like some.”

“Thanks.”

You grabbed a gummy from the bag, curious as to what they were since you had never seen them before. They were very squishy and then you put it in your mouth. You chewed on it while focusing on the taste to figure out what flavor it was.

“Hm… I’m thinking peach.”

“Mine tastes like strawberry.”

“Nice. Where did you get these anyway?”

“That’s a secret.”

“Come on.”

“Not telling.”

“Why? I-”

Your words were cut short as you felt your throat drying up. You thought maybe something was stuck as it became difficult to breathe but you didn’t feel anything. You clawed at your neck, trying to find some sort of explanation. You looked to Sangyeon in fear, but he didn’t seem at all concerned. He popped another gummy into his mouth and then grabbed you. The two of you fell into the water together. You thought panic would overtake you, but for some reason you felt fine. You quickly surfaced and stayed a float, suddenly able to breathe again.

“What… what just happened…?”

“It’s temporary, just to get you home.”

“What?”

“You’ll see.”

Sangyeon pulled you back under water, scaring you and causing you to flail around. He held you tight though, and pulled you close, surprising you with a kiss. His lips pressed firmly against yours, and you began feeling dizzy. The more you tried to push him away the less strength you had. The edges of your vision began to go black, and it wasn’t long before darkness swallowed you whole.

🖤

You gasped awake and began coughing up some water. As you began to regain your senses you looked around. There was a large pool of water before you, and there seemed to be rocks all around. You were in some sort of cave. A bit of sunlight came into the room from an opening in the ceiling, but there seemed to be nowhere else to go. You were trapped here. Now you were starting to wonder how you even got there and how you would escape. You got up on shaky legs and looked around for some type of opening you could reach.

“You’re awake.”

You jumped and looked around for the voice, then you saw Juyeon in the water, waving at you. For a moment you thought you were imagining things, but he swam closer, and that’s when you got a real good look at him. His eyes had become slits, like a cat, and were a golden color. A few bluegreen scales decorated his cheeks and ran along his arms. His fingers were webbed together, also showing claws instead of nails. A few fins seemed to poke out of his arms, and even his ears had changed to look more aquatic. Seeing all this causes you to stumble back and fall. Juyeon remained in the water though, chuckling over your actions.

“You’re very cute.”

“Wa… what are you…?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“A fish?”

“Okay, that’s just rude.”

“Where am I!? Why did you bring me here!?”

“Easy. We’re not gonna hurt you. We just brought you here while we got everything ready. We’ll leave soon.”

“To where?”

“Home.”

“Home?”

“Yeah. We were gonna bring you a year ago, but your stupid friend took you from us before we got to meet. Kinda wish they were here with you, I wanted to give them a piece of my mind.”

Juyeon growled and revealed sharp teeth, making you scream. You scrambled back and as far away from the water as possible. You had your back pressed against the wall, mumbling to yourself that this was all just a dream.

“You’re not dreaming, and before you get any ideas, there is no way out of this place. Well, not for humans. The only way in and out is through some underwater caves, but you’d need diving gear to go to and from, which you don’t have.”

“How… how did you bring me here?”

“Sangyeon gave you something that would let you breathe underwater for a while. Long enough to get here.”

“The gummies…”

“Yeah those things, I don’t know where he gets them.”

“Just let me go, please.”

“Nope. You got away from us once, and it’s not gonna happen again.”

“Please. I won’t tell anyone anything. I’ll never come back and-”

“We don’t want that.” Juyeon got out of the water, revealing more scales and fins. “You disappearing again is the last thing we want.”

You swallowed nervously. “My… my friends… they’ll look for me…”

“And they’re never gonna find you. No one will.”

“Please…”

You felt tears sting your eyes and start sliding down your cheeks. You closed your eyes and went back to mumbling about how this was all a bad dream and you’d wake up soon. You felt Juyeon approach, but you kept your eyes shut tight. Then you felt a hand on your chin.

“Look at me.”

Juyeon’s voice was so calm and soothing. Despite your fears you began to relax. You slowly opened your eyes, seeing that Juyeon had returned to normal. He had a soft smile on his face, seeming far friendlier than before.

“Just listen to my voice. Everything’s going to be okay. You can go back to sleep, and when you wake up, you’ll be home.”

“… home…”

“You’ll love it.”

Your eyelids felt heavy, and this sudden exhaustion was beginning to take hold. You wanted Juyeon to let you go, but you didn’t have the strength to lift your arm. He kept coaxing you to sleep, and you couldn’t resist for long. Soon returning to that void.

🖤

Once again you woke with a sharp intake of breath, followed by coughing up some water. You recovered quicklier than before. This time you discovered you were no longer in a cave, but what seemed to be some sort of cabin. The walls showed logs, and you were laying in bed. The room itself was mostly empty besides the basic furniture. You slowly got out of bed, avoiding the water you had coughed up. You made it to the door and carefully tried the knob, relieved to find the door unlocked. You carefully opened it and peeked your head out of the room. The halls were empty and quiet. You quickly decided which way to go and quietly snuck out of the room. All you needed was an exit.

You walked down the hall trying to make as little noise as possible. It seemed that no one else was in the cabin, and then you came into what appeared to be the living room. The TV was on, but no one was on the sofas watching. You noticed trees out the window, and another body of water, but you didn’t care for it. There was a door that you figured led out, but taking the front door might not bed a good idea. You noticed another way leading to the kitchen and you figured that could lead you to the back. You moved quickly and made sure no one could see you from the windows. The kitchen was clean and empty, and there was your back door.

You ran over, happy to find it unlocked and you stepped out. The fresh air was so nice, and it seemed that no one was around. Now was your chance, you made it to the trees, being quiet and once there was some distance from you and the cabin you began to run. Surely you’d find a trail or some other signs of civilization soon, but you just needed to get away from the cabin and the others. You ran until you needed to catch your breath, looking around for any possible clues as to where you could go. All you could really see were trees, which wasn’t much help, but at least you had gotten away.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

You screamed and looked back, seeing Hyunjae and Chanhee standing a few feet away from you. Your first instinct was to run, but you immediately tripped on an exposed root and collapsed to the ground. You scraped your knee and screamed again. The two boys came to your side, helping you to your feet. You wouldn’t be running anymore with that injury, and the two took you back to the cabin. Despite running for so long and getting so far, in a few seconds you were back at the cabin, as if you had never gone anywhere in the first place. Even though you were injured you yelled and tried to free yourself, but the boys held you tightly.

“We are trying to help.” Chanhee hissed. “You’re injured.”

“Let me go! This is kidnapping!?”

“It’s not. More like claiming ownership.”

“What?!” 

They brought you over to the edge of the dock, having you sit with your legs hanging over the edge, your toes just above the water.. You saw movement in the water and started freaking out, but you couldn’t go anywhere. Moments later Eric popped his head out of the water. He looked similar to Juyeon in his fish form, and that scared you all the more. You tried to pull your legs up but Eric grabbed your injured one, making you freeze. You could feel the tips of his claw pressing gently at your skin. You whimpered and Eric met your eyes.

“I’m not gonna hurt you.”

“What are you?”

“A friend.”

Eric cupped some water in his hand and splashed your wound, cleaning it a bit. Then he pulled your leg closer and kissed your wound. You yelped, but he just chuckled and disappeared into the water. You were confused but then your leg began to feel better, and you noticed your wound was healing. In a matter of seconds your leg was healed, as if nothing had ever happened.

“… how…?”

“Come on, let’s get you back inside.”

The two picked you up and took you back into the cabin. That’s when you noticed there were multiple cabins around, giving the impression this was some other camp. Although there was a waterfall as well that led into the lake the camp surrounded. You were still too shocked to voice any of your questions, so you were easily dragged back inside. The boys plopped you down on the couch, giving you the TV remote.

“We’ll be right back, and don’t go anywhere this time.”

You put the remote down and examined your leg, seeing for sure that there was no cut. You couldn’t believe it, you couldn’t believe any of this actually. You thought back to how you wound up here, remembering you went for a swim with Sangyeon, and then wound up in a cave, and now you were here. You looked out the window, seeing the sun. It was barely reaching its peak, meaning it was morning. It was hard to believe a whole day had gone by since you were last at the waterfall with your friends. They must be panicking and looking for you like crazy. Since you were alone you got up and looked around for a phone or something you could use to contact them. You found nothing, figuring they were probably hiding any means of outside contact.

“I’m pretty sure you were told to stay put.”

Younghoon offered you a smile, leaning against the entryway to the living room. You gave him a shy one in return, feeling like you were caught doing something bad when in reality you hadn’t done anything.

“Relax. Sangyeon wants to talk with you. Follow me.”

It wasn’t a request, but an order. After a moment you followed Younghoon, going up to the second floor and down the hall to the door at the end. He knocked and then gestured for you to go inside. You were kind of nervous, but it wasn’t like you could run away again. You shakily reached for the doorknob and turned it, making your way inside. You walked into what appeared to be a study, seeing bookshelves on the wall and a desk at the center. That’s where Sangyeon sat, staring at his computer and typing. He stopped when you entered, the door closing behind you, and glanced over at you.

“Sit.”

“I could stand…”

“Sit down.”

“… okay…”

You sat down in front of his desk, keeping your legs close together and your hands in your lap. You didn’t dare to raise your gaze, feeling a scolding coming.

“Look at me.” You slowly lifted your gaze. “Good girl.”

“What do you want from me?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“It’s good to finally meet. I’ve gone through a lot of trouble to bring you here. So, let me lay down the rules.”

“Rules?”

“You can’t escape our little camp here. As you saw before, you can run for hours and days but you won’t go anywhere. Our home has magic surrounding its borders that prevent people from leaving or entering without our permission. You also won’t be able to contact anyone outside our home, signals come in, but can’t go out. If you try anything we’ll know.”

“What are you?”

“Hm?”

“You speak of magic like it’s normal, and however you brought me here… I don’t understand…”

“You haven’t figured that out yet?”

“Are you… fish people?”

“That’s insulting.” Sangyeon chuckled. “We’re sirens.”

“Sirens?”

“How do you think we brought you here? A sweet melody to lure you into the water and into our embrace.”

“It… it was you… I wasn’t sleep walking that day… you lulled me into the water… if it hadn’t been for my friend-”

“Quite unfortunate we missed you the first time. Which was all the more reason to be cautious the second time around. We were all so happy when you came back. So we had to make sure you didn’t escape us again. It was nice of your friends to go off and leave you with us.”

“Did… did they even come back…? They wouldn’t just leave me with strangers!?”

“Are you sure? It’s easy for us to put someone to sleep, and you’ve seen what else we can do.”

“You… my friends will look for me! They’d notice I was gone when they got back!”

“They won’t. Who do you think gave them the idea? We took all your things too darling. As far as they’ll remember, you never came with them.”

“… wa… what … why… why me! I didn’t do anything to you! I didn’t even see you at the waterfall a year ago!”

“But we saw you. My boys were very entranced by the beautiful girl playing with her friends. They wanted you for breeding season, and who am I to refuse them.”

“Bree… what did you say?”

Sangyeon chuckled. “I’m certain you heard me. We won’t hurt you, so rest assured you’ll be fine.”

“You’re insane…”

“The boys agreed not to touch you unless the time came. I’m quite curious who’ll break first.”

You were still trying to come to terms with what you had just been told, and make sense of it, but your brain did not want to process. Sangyeon got up from his desk and took your hand, giving you a proper tour of what he kept calling your home. The cabin you were in was the main house, and where your room was. Since it was the biggest, everyone used it as a communal space, although besides Sangyeon and Jacob, the others actually had their beds in the other cabins. The whole camp surrounded the waterfall and the lake it led into, which you had noticed was much bigger than the one you had been to before.

A few docks led into the water, and there seemed to be a little farm area where they grew fruits and vegetables. In all honesty this place looked so beautiful, but it was hard to take it all in when you knew this was your prison. You weren’t really paying attention to the tour, and next thing you knew you were back in the living room, alone. You grabbed the remote and turned off the TV, not wanting to be reminded of the outside world you could no longer get to. Now that you sat in silence you realized you didn’t like it, so you left the cabin. After a few steps you stopped and looked all around. There had to be some way out. From what you understood the surrounding forest wasn’t an option, so that left the water.

You thought back to how you supposedly wound up here, which would mean the water. Your eyes looked to the waterfall, and you remembered getting to the cave behind it back at the other place. There was surely one here too, and that could be your way out. You started to make your way towards the lake. Now that you knew what really had caused your previous fear, you had let it go, having other things to worry about. Although before you could jump into the water you were grabbed. Haknyeon offered you a smile, but you didn’t return it. You didn’t trust any of these guys, especially now that Sangyeon had told you why you were here.

“You wanna help with lunch?”

“No.”

“Come on, you helped before.”

“Yeah, before I knew you were a bunch of psychos!”

“Hey, we’re perfectly sane.”

“Is what an insane person would say.”

“Let’s just go, everyone is waiting for you.”

You didn’t have a choice as Haknyeon dragged you back over to the main cabin, and your strength was no match for his. You resigned yourself to being a complete klutz in the kitchen, and the second you got your hands on a knife you began swinging. Of course it was taken away from you immediately and you were removed from the kitchen.

“I get it, you’re upset.” Chanhee led you outside. “But I swear to you that you’ll like it here.”

“How would I ever like it? You kidnapped me and are holding me hostage!”

“That’s not true.”

“You used your stupid siren song thing to get me here, and I can’t leave, that’s kidnapping and being held against my will!”

“Okay, but this place is great. Your own paradise. It’s beautiful, and you have no job or responsibilities, you can do whatever you want here. And you’re not afraid of the water anymore, so you can swim to your heart’s content.”

“I want to go home.”

“Why? Back to school to work yourself to death for some corporation.”

“Being taken against your will isn’t exactly the best alternative, now is it?”

Chanhee scoffed. “You can fight with us all you want, but you’re gonna change your tune.”

“I won’t.”

“You will.”

It was obvious you didn’t want company, so Chanhee let you go off by yourself. He told you someone would come find you later when lunch was ready. You waited until he was gone before making your way back over to the docks. The water wasn’t super clear, so you couldn’t really make out how deep it was, but you figured it wouldn’t be bad. You sat at the edge of the dock and then let yourself drop over into the water. You didn’t touch the bottom, so you definitely didn’t go into the shallow part. You kept yourself afloat once you surfaced and figured which way the waterfall was. You began swimming towards it when you suddenly noticed something moving out in the water.

You came to a stop and looked out. As far as you were concerned there were no creatures in the lake, besides the boys themselves. From what you had heard before, all the boys would be gathering at the main cabin, so no one should be out in the water right now except for yourself. Still, you didn’t like this, so you decided to swim back. You got to the dock and pulled yourself out, although you suddenly felt something grab your leg. You screamed and managed to pull yourself free, looking back to see what had gotten you. Yellow slit eyes looked back at you from the edge of the dock. You couldn’t make out who it was until they got out of the water, crawling onto the dock towards you.

“Su… Sunwoo… what are you doing…? I… I thought you were with the others…”

“… pretty…”

You crawled back, nervous that any sudden movements would cause him to pounce on you. While you maintained eye contact you kept moving away, and he followed.

“Sunwoo…”

“… want…”

There was something different about his voice, and his gaze. He seemed more like a predator stalking his prey. A devilish smile adorned Sunwoo’s face, and it sent shivers down your spine. You were scared, and this little game would only last so long. All of a sudden Sunwoo made his move, lunging at you. Your scream did nothing to deter him, and even though you scrambled back he managed to grab onto your leg. In one swift motion he pulled you towards him, and you soon found yourself pinned under him.

“Sun… Sunwoo… let go…”

“… mine…”

Sunwoo buried his head in the crook of your neck, breathing you in, his wet lips against your skin. His arms began to move along your sides, and you realized the claws were gone. That didn’t change your current situation though. You began to squirm, trying to get him off, but he was wet, and kinda slimy. Not to mention he was much stronger than you. As hard as you tried, you couldn’t get him to budge. He began to pepper you with kisses, his legs pushing between yours. You kept fighting until you felt something poking at you down below. Your gaze slowly looked down to see a tent in Sunwoo’s shorts, starting to realize the inevitable.

“Sunwoo, get off!”

Your actions seemed to upset him as he growled and pinned your hands above your head. You stared up at him, seeing his eyes remained the slitted yellow color. He seemed to be reading your expression for a movement before he dove down for a kiss. It was rough, and since he caught you off guard it wasn’t difficult for him to get his tongue into your mouth. Even as you tried to fight him you realized there was a certain taste on his lips. Something sweet with a bit of a kick. Then for some reason you started kissing back, your head feeling fuzzy, followed by this warmth spreading down your body.

When he pulled away you were gasping for air, your vision a bit blurred, but the yellow of his eyes you could still make out. His hands trailed down your body once more, effortlessly ripping your shirt open. You felt hands grab at your breasts, followed by lips sucking on one of your nipples. You couldn’t help the moan that escaped you, this dizzy sensation messing with all your senses. You ran your fingers through his hair, trying to verbalize your thoughts, but it just came out as incoherent mumbles. A moment later Sunwoo’s hands were tugging down your shorts and panties. You tried to push your legs together, feeling a chill but he seemed to growl at that. He shoved your legs apart and moved down, burying his face into your center.

You yelled and grabbed fistfulls of his hair. You don’t know if you wanted him off or to go in deeper, but either way you felt something slimy between your folds, making you whimper and squirm. He didn’t tease you for long though, pulling away and climbing on top of you once again. You had no idea when he had gotten his shorts off, but now you felt something else poking at your entrance. In your state it was perfectly logical to reach down and feel this thing for yourself, but the result was very unexpected. Sunwoo was big, bigger than expected, and different. You could feel these ridges along his length, starting to wonder what that would feel like inside you. Although you didn’t have to wait too long.

Sunwoo pressed his lips to yours once more and then you felt something stretching you open. You moaned into the kiss, feeling the slow movement of his length going inside you, every little bump making you whine. You were quiet surprised you could take all of his like that. There was a moment of discomfort as you adjusted to the feeling, practically on the edge of being split in two. You whimpered as the slightest of movement shook your whole body. When he started moving you knew you were going to go insane. Sunwoo was taking in everything, your scent, your sounds, the slight twitches all over your body. He was going to enjoy this.

He wasn’t sure if you were ready, but he didn’t have much patience. Sunwoo pulled out nearly all the way before slamming back into you, over and over again. Your whole body moved with him, shaking and crying out in delight. He played you like an instrument, his giant cock rubbing against your sweet spot at every moment. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, incoherent sounds of pleasure spilling out of you. Sunwoo had your arms pinned above your head with one hand, the other trailing along your stomach, making you twitch. He purposely had his claws out to tease your exposed flesh, loving the reactions he was getting out of you. Every part of you was on fire, and his touch was fanning the flames.

You felt this bundle heat and sensations building up inside of you, well aware of what it meant. You tried to tell Sunwoo, but you still couldn’t do words. Although it seemed he understood your desperate pleas. He let go of your arms and grabbed onto your hips, the tips of his claws digging into your skin ever so slightly. He just needed a better grip to ram into you, his movements becoming erratic as he wanted to see you tremble in pleasure beneath him. You grabbed onto Sunwoo’s arms, mouth hanging open as you reached climax. You screamed out his name, shaking and twitching, getting more stimulation as you squeezed him tightly. Your lips were so inviting Sunwoo divided down to kiss you once again.

You moaned into the kiss, trying to devour him in your own way. He tasted so sweet you just wanted more and more. You didn’t really have a chance to calm down as Sunwoo kept moving, not losing his rhythm. He definitely had more stamina than you, so he took advantage of your sensitive state, building you up to another orgasm and forcing it out of you. Even if you were tired your body still reacted to him, holding him tightly, and letting him do whatever he pleased. You had devolved to a whimpering mess, more of a ragdoll in his arms. Your vision faded in and out, but you still felt every inch of him. The only distinction you could make was when Sunwoo’s movements became sloppy, his hot breath against your ear followed by the feeling of something warm inside you.

Sunwoo rested on top of you, breathing heavily and making low groans, his hips twitching and continuing to move, pushing his seed deeper and deeper into you. He seemed very content, nuzzling your neck, and mumbling sweet nothings. You could only respond with content whines, a ditzy smile on your face. You were floating on cloud nine, and had no idea when you’d come down. Although things did take a sudden turn for you. One moment you were laying on the dock with Sunwoo on top of you, and the next thing you knew you were in the water. The cold water seemed to snap you back to reality and you began to flail, trying to float. You managed to calm yourself a bit, but then something yanked on your leg and pulled you under.

You fought back and freed yourself, not caring to know what was happening and began swimming to shore. Once again your leg was grabbed and you were yanked beneath the water. You thought it was over this time, but you were suddenly grabbed by another force and brought up to the surface. You gasped as you took a breath in, unable to see as your vision was blurred by water. Someone was dragging you to the shore, but you noticed a clawed hand wrapping around your ankle. You could barely make out the yellow eyes staring at you, but that was the least of your concerns. Before you could scream and ear piercing screech filled th air. You slammed your hands over your ears, but it did little to block out the sound.

The hand had let you go and you heard a splash in the water. A moment later the sound disappeared. You took a moment to compose yourself and then realized what was going on. You were sitting on the shore, a few of the boys around you, and others knee deep in the water. They all seemed to be recovering from the sound as well, except for Sangyeon. He was speaking, but you couldn’t really make out his words. Then you began to remember you were naked. You quickly tried to cover yourself, but hands grabbed you and pulled you to your feet. A towel was wrapped around you and then you were swept off your feet. Sangyeon was carrying you bridal style, heading back to the main cabin.

“Are you okay?”

“Wa… what happened…?”

“You tell me.”

“Uh… I…”

“Kidding. Just take it easy, you’re fine.”

“I don’t feel fine…”

“I know.”

Sangyeon took you to your room and let you take a shower, properly cleaning yourself up, from head to toe, and then dressing yourself in fresh clothes. He was sitting in your bed and waiting. You were still a bit unsteady on your feet, and stuck close to the wall, holding onto the furniture. It didn’t take Sangyeon long to notice and bring you over to the bed so you could sit down. You mumbled a small thanks.

“Does your chest hurt? Or anything else besides… well you know.”

“No… but what… Sunwoo…”

“He was the first to break. My money was on Juyeon.”

“What the hell are you talking about? You said you brought me here for… that thing… but Sunwoo-”

“During breeding season a siren goes into a frenzy. There’s only one thing on their mind, and they’ll search for the nearest thing to satiate them. For the most part we stay in the water, but you were nearby, so he took advantage of that.”

“I… I wasn’t in my right mind… I didn’t mean-”

“Don’t blame yourself too much. We excrete a very lovely type of aphrodisiac to make our partners more agreeable. It’s okay to say you enjoyed yourself.”

“Fuck you. That’s not fair.”

“Sunwoo was just the beginning. Although I will apologize for him as he nearly drowned you.”

“Let me guess, he wasn’t in his right mind because of the frenzy?”

“Basically. He wanted to take you back to his cave.”

“What?”

“Why do you think the lake is so big? We all have our own little caves down there. Of course he’d want to take you there, but you obviously can’t breathe under water.”

“No shit.”

“I’ll get him to apologize when he comes back to his senses.”

“Forget that. I want to leave. If that’s what’s gonna happen to me again, I want no part!”

Sangyeon chuckled. “We’ve been over this. You’re not leaving.”

“I’m certain there are plenty of other girls, or boys, who’d be down to help you through this, but not me! You managed last time without me, so leave me out of this!”

“They were very upset last time. Many wanted to chase after you, but it’s not safe to leave the waterfall. I’m not going to upset them again.”

“I don’t care about that! Find someone else, or better yet, another siren! You said it’s breeding season, and I’m not about to get pregnant!”

“A siren can’t impregnate a human, it’s a very rare thing. Which is all the more reason to have you around.”

“Then like I said before, find someone else.”

“They don’t want anyone else, and neither do I.”

Sangyeon came over to your side and pinned you down on the bed. Your heart was racing but you tried to keep your cool.

“You enjoyed yourself, we all know it. So you don’t have to lie and be upset. We heard you turn into a mess out there.”

“… you… you did…?”

“It was music to my ears. You know, we’re all the same down there, although maybe just different sizes. Tell me, how was it? A whole new experience right?”

“…”

“You don’t have to be shy. I know you wanna do it again, and you’ll get to, just be patient. It starts with one, but that’s all it takes to drag the rest of us down. There’s nowhere you can go to escape us, so look forward to that.”

Sangyeon placed a small kiss on your head and excused himself. It wasn’t until he closed the door that you let out the breath you were holding. You felt so hot, aware of the burning in your cheeks. You shouldn’t be into any of this, and you were certain he had influenced you somehow, but you had to focus. They all overpowered you, and the way Sunwoo was acting before, you’d be in major trouble if it was more than one next time. You needed to get out, but the problem now was your leg. There was no way you could make the swim out to the waterfall right now, so there had to be another way.

For the rest of the day you stayed in your room. One of the others brought you food, leaving outside your door. You didn’t want to eat, but you were going to need your strength. You stared out your window towards the lake and the waterfall. Right now the best idea seemed to be to get as close to the waterfall as you could from land, and then swim the rest of the way. The only other problem was to figure out when. At night the water would be very cold, and your vision would be impaired. You figured early morning would be the right time, so it was probably best to go to sleep now. You were quite tired after all.

🖤

It was a bit difficult to sleep, as you kept waking up after a while. At least you didn’t miss sunrise. The cabin was quiet, and you carefully made your way outside. The rest of the camp area seemed quiet, and even the lake was still. You had mapped out your path the day before, so you just made sure to keep hidden and made your way towards the waterfall. When you got to the end of the path you carefully got into the water, making sure no one was around to notice you. Once in the water you cautiously made your way to the waterfall, trying not to let the cold overwhelm you. It would have been worse if it was night time. 

You thought back to how you made it to the back of the waterfall with Sangyeon before, although this was a different waterfall so things would be different. In theory it was the same, climbing up on some rocks and carefully making it towards the back of the waterfall. The danger was how slippery the rocks were as they were always coated in water. Still, you managed to make it, feeling relief and quite proud of yourself too. You admired the waterfall for a moment before going into the cave behind it. Sunlight came in through some holes in the ceiling, illuminating your path. You walked down this tunnel until it opened up into a bigger room. You began looking around for a way out, but to your horror there didn’t seem to be one.

You walked around, but there was nothing but rock surrounding you. The only way out was through the tunnel you had come from. This was just a room. There was a small puddle of water at the center, only going up to your ankles. Even the holes in the ceiling didn’t seem big enough for a person, and there was no way you could climb up to escape. You collapsed to the floor in defeat, realizing there really was no way out of this place. You pulled up your knees to your chest, hugging them. You had no idea what to do now, and you certainly had no idea how much time passed. You only snapped out of your daze when you heard someone approaching. You quickly got up, scared for what would happen next.

“How’d you get here?” Younghoon looked you up and down. “I didn’t know you knew about this place.”

“…”

“Ah, did you think there was a way out of here behind the waterfall? That’s cute, but we meant it when we said you weren’t leaving.”

“Just let me go… please… I don’t know how long this breeding season thing lasts for you, but I want out, now.”

“You’re not just here for that. You’ll be staying with us permanently.”

“What!?”

“It would be nice to have someone else around, and we all like you.”

“I have a life! You can’t just-”

“Do you really want to go back?”

“I… I…” You started feeling dizzy. “Uh…”

“You humans tend to live such boring lives. Wouldn’t it be more fun to stay here with us? We can give you everything and more. If you’re having all these pesky thoughts bothering you, I can just wash them away.” Younghoon stepped towards you. “Would you like that? Do you want me to take away all those bad thoughts?”

“Stay… stay back… you…”

“Sh, you know, we come here for some privacy, so imagine my joy finding you here.”

“I… no… no…”

“I’m certain Sunwoo took good care of you, shall I continue where he left off? Did you like the way he felt inside you? I promise I’m just as big.”

“Stop… stop it…”

“That’s not what you really want, is it?”

Younghoon pinned you to the wall, watching you curiously. His eyes had changed to that golden yellow, and a few scales decorated his skin. He gently caressed your cheek, no claws present, but other siren features were.

“How about a little taste, before I spiral down into madness. Strip for me, baby.”

Despite the sorrow of realizing you were trapped, the fear of being caught, none of that seemed to matter anymore. Your head was fuzzy like before, and you felt oddly calm with Younghoon. His words flowed into your head and were welcomed with open arms. When he asked you to strip it just seemed like the right thing to do. You started with your top, slipping it past your head and tossing it to the side. Younghoon helped you with your bra, happily taking in your exposed breasts. You reached down to slide off your shorts and panties, feeling the chill of the cave, causing you to shiver.

“I’ll warm you up in a bit.”

Younghoon stripped out of his clothes. Your gaze took him in, unable to resist running your hands along his chest and feeling his scales. He was wet and slimy, and you quite liked that. He was like a fantasy come true. Fingers wrapped around your chin and raised your gaze, Younghoon capturing your lips in a kiss. It was natural to kiss back, getting another taste of the unknown sweetness. You felt yourself melting into this sensation, moreso when you felt a hand between your legs, teasing your folds. You mewled into the kiss, jumping up a bit when you felt something cold push into you.

“There’s a good girl.” 

Even in the cold you felt warm, and it was slowly spreading. Younghoon worked you over with one finger before adding another, his thumb rubbing your little nub in circles, just adding to the stimulation. You were whimpering, the fog in your head already making you lose the ability to communicate. Despite taking things slow, Younghoon had little patience. He pulled his fingers out without warning, grabbing your hips and lifting you up off the ground with ease. You could understand what he was doing, and followed his movements without being told. You wrapped your legs around him, feeling something poking at your entrance before you sank onto it, taking it all at once.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you were suddenly filled to the brim, stretched wide open and feeling those bumps running along inside you. Younghoon was whispering dirty things in your ear, his hot breath making you squirm. Every little movement just sent another wave of pleasure coursing through your body. It didn’t matter that rocks pressed against your back, or that you weren’t entirely in your right mind. At the moment the only thing that mattered was you and Younghoon. Your mouth hung open in silent ecstasy as he provided you with a whole new experience. Gravity played a part in all this as no matter how he moved, you’d always sink down on him to the base, feeling every inch.

He kept his movements steady and it was a testament to his strength. You couldn’t imagine anyone else doing such a thing, but he played his part wonderfully. He didn’t break a sweat as he rocked his hips into you, stealing a kiss from you every now and then. His moans mixed with your own, echoing in the room. You felt hot, like you were burning from the inside out, but it was a pleasurable feeling. Your whimpering became more desperate as you were nearing your climax, and Younghoon took note of this with joy. He took one of your nipples into his mouth, adding to the sweet sensations that were overwhelming you completely.

You ran your fingers through his hair, barely able to whimper his name before you cried out in ecstasy as an orgasm shook your body. Younghoon pressed his lips against your when you came, wanting you to moan into his mouth and get more of his sweet lips. You were so drunk on him that your vision had blurred. A soft voice lulled you into a safe space, telling you to let go and relax. It was so easy to listen and just focus on the nice feeling between your legs, taking care of everything. You couldn’t tell when Younghoon had lost it with you, but you certainly felt something warm between your legs as another orgasm took over and made you scream. At some point you were moved off the wall, soon being laid down on your back and feeling water.

Younghoon assaulted every bit of exposed flesh with kisses, starting to leave bruises and holding back from straight up leaving bite marks. He just wanted to mark you and claim you for himself at this moment. You held him close, your body still moving with his as he was trying to make this feeling last for as long as he could. You were both desperately needy, and there was no one to get in the way. Younghoon was mumbling against your skin, but you couldn’t make out his words. At one point you could see those golden eyes stare down at you with hunger and then everything went dark.

🖤

You gasped awake, looking around in a panic before realizing you were back in your room in the main cabin. You breathed a sigh of relief, but when you tried to get out of bed you collapsed to the floor. Your legs were sore like never before, and as you tried to stand you noticed all the marks on your arms. The best you could do was pull yourself back up onto your bed. The sun was nearing its peak and you could barely remember your morning. You knew you had gotten up to get to the waterfall, but from there things seemed to blur. You were pulled from your thoughts when there was a knock at the door.

“You’re awake.

“Huh?”

“I was a bit worried when Younghoon brought you back to shore and you were half conscious. I guess he really did a number on you.” Sangyeon chuckled. “He certainly broke the rules.”

“Rules… I…”

“Sh, I’m sure he already messed with your memories in the hopes of not getting in trouble, but that’s not gonna work. Here. I brought you some medicine, should heal you up.”

“Thanks… I guess…”

Sangyeon offered you some pills and a glass of water, which you took. You laid back on the bed, just wanting to go back to sleep after whatever happened.

“You’re really not gonna let me go… once this is all over, right?”

“You won’t stop with that, will you?”

“What if I say no?”

“What are you gonna do right now? Run away? You can’t even stand. I’m lucky Younghoon didn’t try dragging you into the water. I won’t be able to stop them all when they go into a frenzy.”

“Won’t you be in the mess with them?”

“Exactly my point.”

“Amuse me then… how do I go back?”

“The only way out is through an underwater tunnel. You’ll never be able to reach it, even if you could breathe underwater, you can’t move as fast as us. Besides, there are multiple tunnels down there, you won’t find the right one.”

“How many people have you trapped here before?”

“No one. My boys like their space.”

“Wait, so I’m the first person you’ve ever brought here?”

“Yup.”

“What about other sirens?”

“Like I said, my boys like their space.”

“So… why… what’s so special about me?”

“I don’t know. You’re beautiful, intelligent, sexy. They don’t always agree on things, but you piqued their interest, mine as well. There’s no harm having a nice little pet around. It’ll make this place feel more like home.”

“I’m not some pet!”

“Yet you like it when there’s something nice and big between your legs, acting like a little creature in heat. You can say whatever you want about our influence, but we’re just bringing out your desires. Rest up, I don’t know when they’ll snap.”

You didn’t want to argue anymore, needing to go over the fact there was no way out. Well, there was, you just couldn’t access it. This place was supposed to be home now. You stared out the window, zoning out a bit as you took it all in. Everything was really beautiful, as if it was a work of fiction. It really wouldn’t be bad to live here, but you had your own life. Now that you thought about it, you realized there wasn’t exactly much to return to. There was school, getting your degree in the hopes of building your life. You had some friends, but given what Sangyeon said, you were probably a missing person’s case that had no explanation. You weren’t sure there was anyone who would seriously look for you, regardless if they had their memories messed with or not.

When that came to mind you shook your head. There was a chance none of these thoughts were your own, but something they had planted. Still, you couldn’t resist the idea to just let everything go and stay here, live in peace and happiness. Even if you had been trying to figure out a way to escape, you couldn’t deny your time here had been nice, in multiple ways. It kinda felt like time didn’t matter, and even if you were being difficult, the boys were just waiting for you to warm up to them. The funniest thing was that this whole situation was probably someone’s wildest dream and you were fighting it so hard. You took a breath and laid down in bed. You had a lot to think about, but you definitely needed to rest as well.

🖤

You inhaled softly as you regained consciousness, seeing that it was dark out. Your stomach grumbled and you realized you hadn’t eaten all day. Although the problem was you weren’t so sure you could get up and walk. You had no idea where the others were, or how you would even reach them. So you took a breath and got up. You were still unsteady on your feet, but you could more or less stand. You stumbled your way to the door and out into the hall, using the wall as support and making your way to the kitchen. You were doing well, but one wrong step cause your legs to give out. You nearly collapsed to the floor, but were caught by someone before you hit the ground.

“I thought you were gonna sleep the whole day away.” Hyunjae joked. “You okay?”

“Fine…”

“You must be hungry. We have some leftovers saved for you.”

“Thanks…”

Hyunjae brought you over to the kitchen and had you sit at the table. He heated up some food for you and brought it over. Your hands worked just fine, but he insisted on feeding you.

“I’m not a baby.”

“You’re my baby, now open wide.”

You were hungry, so you weren’t going to fight him much. You ate and afterwards he gave you some medicine. That’s when you finally noticed the marks on your arms were gone.

“How…”

“You think we’d just hurt you?” Hyunjae scoffed. “Come on. We can’t break you so easily.”

“Do you… like me… or am I… just some toy…?”

“Hm… when we saw you at the waterfall a year ago we were entranced by your beauty, as if you were a siren yourself. You seemed so joyous and happy, your smile so bright. We were curious to know what you were like. We tried to bring you here before, but your friend got you out of the water before we could get to you. We didn’t realize that would traumatize you, sorry.”

“It’s fine. I just thought I was insane for a year.”

“I could just make you forget that.”

“I’m certain you’ve already messed with my memories.”

“Maybe. Only good things, I promise.”

“What happens… after…?”

“After what?”

“… well… after… the season…?”

“Oh, you mean that. Well, I guess we’ll see, but the idea certainly isn’t to discard you or anything like that. We waited a long time for you.”

“Hm.”

“Alright, if you’re done, I’ll get you back to bed, you’re probably still tired.”

“Yeah.”

Hyunjae tucked you in for the night, and you found it easy to fall asleep. You probably shouldn’t have eaten so late, but you needed something in order to keep up your strength. You slept until morning, waking to the sounds of birds chirping. You had expected someone to wake you, but there was no one at your bedside when you opened your eyes. You didn’t think much of it and got up, realizing your legs were much better. Once you washed up you headed out of your room, but the cabin was eerily quiet. Perhaps the others were still asleep, and you didn’t want to bother anyone. 

So you made your way out of the cabin and towards one of the docks, sitting at the edge and letting your legs dangle. A morning view like this was something you could get used to. The sunlight danced on the surface of the lake in such a way that made it sparkle. The sounds of the waterfall filled the air, providing a soft melody. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to sleep outside one of these days. You weren’t even sure what the stars looked like at night. You were lost in your own mind, thinking of all the possibilities when you suddenly heard shouting.

“Get away from the water!”

“Hm?”

You looked back to see Sangyeon running towards you. Before you could make a move to stand something wrapped around your leg and pulled you down. You screamed, but managed to hold onto a loose board in the dock. Sangyeon came over to your side, grabbing you and letting out an ear piercing screech.  You yelled, but you couldn’t do anything to diminish the noise. Whatever was holding onto you let go and Sangyeon pulled you up, getting you away from the water’s edge.

“Are you okay?”

“What… what was that?”

“Sorry, some of the boys have been in the lake since yesterday, and I know what that means.”

“Ah… how… how many…?”

“Eight of them, and I have no idea how much longer the rest of us will last.”

“Is it a bad thing to fight it?”

“Partially, but I have to make sure they don’t hurt you.”

“That’s gonna be hard to do if they’re goal is to drag me in the water.”

“Let’s just get back to the cabin.”

Sangyeon got you back to safety, checking on your leg to make sure it wasn’t bruised or sprained. Thankfully you were fine. The two of you prepared breakfast, but you could tell Sangyeon was anxious. It was starting to make you feel uneasy, so you tried to distract yourself.

“Earlier… when you… screeched… do you do that often? I thought sirens had these beautiful voices that they use to sing.”

“Are you saying my voice isn’t beautiful? We’ve sang for you before.”

“With the intention of manipulating me… but with the type of persuasion powers you have, I guess your voices must be divine.”

“Precisely. As for the other thing, I only use that when I need them to back off and I know they won’t listen to reason.”

“I see… well, it really hurts.”

“Imagine how they must feel with sensitive hearing.”

“Right… uh… how old are you?”

“Don’t you think that’s mean to ask?”

“Uh, well… I don’t know… you look like you’re in your twenties… all of you really…”

“I’ll just say we’re older than that.”

“So you guys don’t age?”

“Not really.”

“Are you immortal?”

“Why? Are you gonna start looking for a way to kill us?”

“Just wondering…”

“Then I’ll leave you guessing.”

“Meanie.”

You both ate breakfast together, but you weren’t really hungry. Sangyeon noticed and encouraged you to eat, saying you needed your strength. Although that wasn’t entirely motivational.

“What… what’s gonna happen to me…?”

“Honestly. You’re gonna black out.” 

“How long is this supposed to last?”

“Days.”

“Days! I… how are you not supposed to-”

“Easy. We’re not all gonna pounce on you at once. We have each other to mess with, and believe me, no one is gonna be allowed to hurt you.”

“You can’t promise that when you’re talking about going into a frenzy, all of you! I can’t do anything to defend myself!”

“Not that you’d want to.”

“Shut it!”

“Just saying.”

“I… I need to think…”

“About what? The outcome is the same either way.”

“Yeah, thanks for that reminder.”

You left the table and stormed off to your room, slamming the door behind you. Once you were alone you let out a breath, sinking to the ground. The most annoying part of all of this was the tingling sensation between your legs. As messed up as this all sounded, you hated the bit of excitement that was slowly starting to course through you. Just one of those boys was able to mess you up, so you couldn’t imagine what would happen to you if they all got their hands on you. More than anything though, you were confused on how this was all supposed to go down. The others were in the lake, and you certainly couldn’t breath underwater. You were pulled out of your thoughts when you heard a knock at your door. You quickly got up and opened it.

“Hey, Jacob, where were you for breakfast?”

“Busy. Mind if I come in?”

“Uh, sure… is everything okay?”

“I was gonna ask you the same thing.” Jacob sat down on your bed. “How are you feeling? Better now, I’d hope.”

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Good. So how about we go for a swim.”

“Sangyeon told me to stay out of the water for now.”

“He’s just saying that, come on, the two of us can have some fun.”

Jacob got up and came over to you, taking your hands in his. He had a sweet smile on his lips, but something felt off.

“Jacob, are you okay?”

“Fine. Just so happy you’re here with us this time.”

“Right… I actually need to clean up and-”

“You don’t need to lie with me. I’m not gonna hurt you.”

“I didn’t say-”

“Trust me. Take a deep breath, and just relax.”

“Uh…”

“I want to take you somewhere special. Follow me.”

“… okay…”

Jacob pressed a kiss to your cheek and led you out of the room, but was quickly interrupted. Sangyeon separated the two of you, pushing you back into your room and shutting the door. A moment later you snapped out of your daze, realizing what had just happened. You quickly locked the door, stepping away from it. You knew time was running out, and you had nowhere to hide. Your heart was racing and you were trying to think straight, but your thoughts just drifted from fear to excitement, and everything in between. Somehow you managed to calm your mind, sitting on the floor against the bed, wondering what you should do.

“Y/n, open the door.”

You heard the knob turn, followed by Sangyeon’s voice. You quickly stood, but hesitated as you reached to open the door. It had been a while since you last saw Sangyeon, and you weren’t sure if it was a good idea to see him right now.

“Open up.”

“I’m okay… Jacob didn’t do anything…”

“That’s good, but I still need you to open the door.”

“Why? We can talk like this.”

“Don’t be silly. Open the door and let me in.”

“No.”

“No?” Sangyeon chuckled and slammed his fist against the door. “This isn’t a debate sweetie. Let me in, or I’ll force my way in.”

“Sangyeon… you… you’re scaring me…”

“Good… then you know where we’re at. You know you can’t run, so open the door before it’s too late!”

“I don’t-”

Another loud bang against the door startled you. It was instinct to look around for some escape route, but it was pointless. Next thing you knew the door swung open. Sangyeon calmly walked in, his golden eyes finding you immediately. You thought to run, to get past him, but he caught you so easily.

“Relax. You’re perfectly safe.”

“… sangyeon…”

“Come.”

Sangyeon led you out of the room and outside, walking towards the lake. You noticed the sun setting, realizing it was nearly dark. You hadn’t noticed so much time passing. Although as you got closer you began struggling against Sangyeon.

“… wait…”

“Sh, everything’s going to be okay, I promise.”

You came to the end of the dock, and your gaze turned to the water. You could vaguely make out shapes swimming in the water just below the surface. As you were distracted Sangyeon slipped another one of those gummy spheres into your mouth.

“Eat it.”

Sangyeon’s gaze on you was so soft, mixed with the sweet melody of his voice, whatever fears you had before were all washed away. You ate the gummy as he asked, somewhat having forgotten what the effects were before it came back to you. Your eyes went wide as you struggled to breath, but Sangyeon pulled you close.

“You’re so beautiful.”

He pressed his lips to yours, stealing away what little breath you had left, and letting you fall into the water. You immediately went under, no longer struggling to breathe. It took a moment for your panic to stop, for the air bubbles to clear your vision. You could see everything around you clearly, but you weren’t looking in the right direction. You made a move towards the surface, only for something to grab your leg and pull you down. When you looked to see what it was, a multitude of yellow eyes stared back, and then your world cut to black. 

🖤

You inhaled sharply, only to find yourself coughing up a bit of water. Your vision was a blur, yet you moved to get on your hands and knees. Although the problem was your legs were incredibly sore, and you felt bloated. Still, you pushed through that and looked around, finding yourself at the center of a unique scene. You recognized where you were, the cave behind the waterfall, and you weren’t alone. The rest of the boys were scattered around you, all seeming to be in some shifted form or another, and not really wearing clothes. That’s when you noticed all you had on was a large t-shirt.

You began to examine your body, seeing all the purple markings on your exposed skin, a few cuts here and there as well. You were also in water, realizing there was far more here than last time. You tried to stand, but your legs weren’t really working, and you slipped, falling on top of one of the boys. He had been sleeping a moment ago, but was startled awake when you hit him. He quickly pinned you down, seeming ferocious before recognizing you and calming down. Juyeon had a ditzy smile on his face and leaned down to nuzzle your neck.

“My baby’s awake…”

“Uh… what… what happened…”

“You’re the best.”

“Ju… Juyeon…”

“Sh. Forget about the bad things and just stay…”

“… stay…”

“Good girl, our good girl.”

“… good…”

“Very good.”

Yellow eyes seemed to fill your vision, making everything spin. You couldn’t help the childish smile that adorned your lips. Despite the water around you felt warm, and safe. Juyeon stole a kiss from you, filling your mouth with a sweet taste, further reminding you everything was okay. This was where you needed to be, and where you would remain forever.

[tbzhub]

Money Shot

Pairing: photographer!Lee Hyunjae x afab!reader

Summary: a night in with your boyfriend turns into a photoshoot

Warnings: MDNI, smut, marking, fingering, unprotected sex, lots of photos are taken, pet names like twice

Rating / Genre: M, established relationship au, some fluff, smut

WC: 3.6K

Artist Note: this is a little part 2 to this fic: just go fuck him ♥︎ thank you for the love on that story, i'm sorry the title is so misleading alvjbhvxzgfn. i figured i'd revisit these two!

Tagged: @deoboyznet @everykebbie @blizzardfluffykpop

psst i finished it @the-boy-meets-evil

m.list tag list

It’s a wonder how much a person can change in a year or two. 

These days your chest doesn't feel as tight. Your thoughts aren’t as intrusive and insecurity visits you infrequently. The smiles that grace your lips are genuine– often prompted by the joy that's found its way into the tight confines of your heart. 

With each passing day, came a further understanding of what it meant to live. To experience the world with an abundance of love intertwined with your being. 

Hyunjae wouldn’t agree, but he made all the difference. You are far more vibrant now; confident, social, witty. Being deeply in love brought out a version of yourself that was content and yet utterly fearless. 

There’s peace, both in knowing someone has seen the harshest parts of you and that they still love you just the same. 

Hyunjae gave you the space to be yourself– to show up however you were able to on any given day. With you, he was gentle and understanding in a way that’s reserved for people who care. 

Dating him meant never having doubt– not when he made every day feel like a gift. It was easy to smile with him around. He was funny without trying and hilarious in times when laughter was needed most. His spontaneity took some getting used to, but only because you were a homebody. Now, you look forward to the days you spend with him, enamored by Hyunjae’s innate ability to make every moment memorable. He saw the world in a way that left you inspired. Through his photography, he taught you that beauty was found in the most unlikely places.  Like at a run-down flea market during sunset, or while walking past a vacant flower stand on a late night– the florist long gone after an honest day’s work. Overexposed shots of your hair dancing in the wind as you slump in front of a fan, trying to survive in the summer heat. 

He was always taking pictures of you. Initially– you hated it. You’d go shy or tense up when you saw him bring out a camera, on high alert when he brought out his phone. But over time, you appreciated it. Being his muse– being able to see yourself the way he saw you– helped you in areas that you hadn't realized needed assistance. Through your days in front of the lens, you've learned that you have a brilliant smile. That your hair harbored a different tone in the wake of a setting sun. Sometimes you’d catch yourself anticipating the camera on days when you knew you looked your best, growing confident as more time passed with him by your side.

Now, more than anything else– you both are beyond comfortable and obsessed with one another. Your ears perk up when you hear the bedroom door creak open and the way you immediately step out of the bathroom to greet Hyunjae with a face covered in skin care products proves the aforementioned sentiment.

Coming over to kiss him sweetly, you briefly melt into his firm arms and as you lean back you swipe your thumb over the gray dot of mud mask that sticks to his nose with a chuckle.

“Aww…” Hyunjae coos, taking in your spa headband and the little strip across your nose. 

“No…” you groan, shielding your face away from him and his predictable nature.

“But you look so cute, right now.” He whines, peeking from behind the camera while his fingers hover over the button.

“No, I don’t. I look like the moon emoji” you mumble back.

“What do you mean? Hyunjae asks, looking at you with a clueless squint.

“You know, the one that’s like…”  you give a side glance to look more like the little gray icon.

There’s a small flash of light as the shutter clicks and Hyunjae chuckles as he looks at the tiny screen while you stand stunned that he tricked you so easily. You playfully push him in response, causing him to laugh harder and you can’t help but join him, finding his antics funny. 

You kiss him on the cheek before heading towards the bathroom. 

“I’ll be right back.” You announce with your back turned. “Don’t miss me too much,” Hyujnae calls out absentmindedly, eyes fixed on the camera in his hands and you smile at the remark as you walk onto the cool tile floor.

You come back to him with a washed face and a silly smile embossed into your pretty features. Bounding onto the bed, you allow Hyunjae to tug you into his arms. He peppers you with kisses, lips smacking against yours a couple of times until he’s pulled a wide smile and a few giggles out of you. 

“Wait– stay right there,” he says and you groan but your smile only grows wider.

“Don’t you get tired of taking pictures of me?” You ask, looking him over in amusement as you honor his instructions, holding your current angle. “Nope,” he replies, twisting in his spot to grab his polaroid camera. “Maybe when you have a hot girlfriend, you’ll understand.” He jokes, sending you a flirtatious look over the top of the camera while his finger turns the camera on with muscle memory.

Your laugh is accompanied by the roll of your eyes. Hyunjae presses the shutter and you ready yourself for the flash, relaxing thereafter as the camera goes to work.

The whirring of the film getting developed halts your joking, Hyunjae carefully plucks the film out and shakes it in his hand gently once it pops out of the top of the camera.

Falling further into the comfort of his pillows, you smile up at Hyunjae, observing the way he looks at the picture. His eyes were soft as he swept over the image, the arches of his cheeks raising slowly as a smile blossomed on his lips. For whatever reason the sight struck a chord within you.

“You really think I’m beautiful, don't you?” You voice the thought without realizing it, not until Hyunjae’s gaze shifts to you and you're taking in the sincerity in his eyes as he speaks. 

“Of course.”

He doesn’t say anything else and you didn't need him to. Not when he’s looking at you like you’re the only thing that exists in the world. The only thing worth gazing upon. His hand trails its way into your hair and you look into the lens again, relaxing under Hyunjae’s touch as the shutter clicks again. You shift slightly on the bed as Hyunjae inspects the second polaroid the same way as he did the first. He puts the two pictures on the nightstand for safekeeping before leaning down to kiss you on the lips. 

With your arms looped around Hyunjae’s neck, you steal more kisses off his lips until he drops the camera onto the bed and climbs on top of you. The kiss deepens as one of his hands roams down to grab at your waist and pulls your body closer to his while he props himself up to keep from crushing you with the other. He lingers on your lips, pressure changing from soft and teasing to hard and wanting once you wrap your leg around his hip.

You stay like that long enough for your heart to mimic the rapid thud of Hyunjae’s heart rate.

When Hyunjae pulls away from the kiss you’re left wanting more, grabbing at his shirt in an attempt to bring him back but you stop when you notice what he’s doing.

He hovers above you with a polaroid camera in hand. “Just one more. Your lips look perfect,’ he murmurs as he lines up the shot and you lick your kiss bruised lips before giving bedroom eyes to Hyunjae through the lens. You hear the sound of the camera going off and the flash follows before the whirring begins. You watch patiently as he studies the picture with a smirk on his lips. His hand moves smoothly up and down your bare thigh as his gaze flits across the film. 

It was hot seeing him like this, so obviously turned by what he’s doing– by you.

His hand comes up to caress your neck before falling lower, squeezing your chest over the thin fabric of your tank top and you pick up on how he bites his lip before finally tearing his eyes away and placing the picture to the side with the others.

“Wanna take more?” You ask, gingerly tiptoeing into uncharted territory. “I mean… I’d be down?” You suggest lightly while looking up at Hyunjae’s face. His expressions bounce between confusion and surprise before settling on mirth and something else indescribable.

“Yeah?” He asks for confirmation, his voice suddenly low and velvety.

As you nod your head yes, you wrap your fingers around Hyunjae’s wrist and guide his hand down to rest at the hem of your top. 

His hand scrunches up the fabric, exposing most of your stomach as he dips down low to meld his mouth with yours hotly. He kisses you slowly, taking his time with you in a way that you’ve never experienced with him before. His hand slides up further, delicately cupping your chest as he sighs against your lips. The sharp sting of Hyunjae’s fingers digging into your skin sends a shock to your center and your lips part in a soft moan in response. His tongue brushes against the tip of yours tenderly as your skin pebbles under his touch. 

The kiss remains slow as he savors every last second of having you like this, nibbling on your lower lip before sucking the tender spot and kissing you hungrily. You lay slack underneath him, body and mind being led by the pleasure he pours into you with his sinful lips. 

Your back arches as he lifts your tank top up further, pulling the garment over your shoulders. Hyunjae’s hands fall onto either side of your cheeks, holding your face in place as he presses his lips onto yours firmly and warmth floods your chest. His hands travel down your neck and sweep across your shoulders as he drags his lips along your jawline. He continues his descent until he reaches a particular spot on your neck that makes you bite back a loud whimper. He sucks the sensitive area while you squirm underneath him with your eyes half closed. You shake out a soft moan, bliss surging up your spine as he moves to another spot on your neck.

He sucks mark after mark into your skin until you're nearly trembling and soaking wet with need. Your shoulders and neck are covered in splotches of deep reddish and purple hues that you can’t fully see but the look on Hyunjae’s face as he leans back tells you that look to die for. He drinks you in with a lust-clouded gaze, looking you up and down a few times before reaching out for his camera.

“Fuck– you look perfect like this…” he praises, voice imbued in admiration and want. He lines up the shot, standing on his knees above you and you can see just how much he’s into this.

You reply with a moan and glance up, giving the camera a heated look before the camera flashes. His hand comes into the next shot as he wraps his fingers around your slender neck. You catch his dick twitching in his sweats as he takes a second picture with you posed like this. Hyunjae doesn't wait for the film to come out before casting the camera to the side. He yanks at your shorts and underwear, pulling them off of you quickly with your help. You spread your legs wide for him while he works his way out of his clothes. He’s back on you hot and heavy the minute his cock is free, settling between your legs as he devours you with an intense gaze, tracing your form lustfully. 

“Eyes on me, okay?” He orders softly, smoothing a hand over your bent knee lovingly as the other snakes its way up your thigh, leaving behind a sweltering tingle that lingers on your skin. 

His fingers sink into your wet heat and a sultry moan rings through his bedroom. Hyunjae rocks his palm back and forth, two fingers curled upwards against the soft walls of your pussy. You coat the digits, eliciting the sloppiest noises that you’ve ever heard from your wet cunt but you couldn’t be bothered to be ashamed about that in the wake of what he’d just put your neck and shoulders through. 

He picks up the pace and your legs fall open further as a long sigh leaves your chest. You obediently keep your eyes open, trained on Hyunjae while he works you over. The look you share is a charged one as he fucks you with his fingers, his determined gaze contrasting your unbridled blissed-out state. Your swollen lips part as you pant his name, pleading for him not to stop.

Hyunjae blindly grabs ahold of his camera, never stopping the steady rhythm of his deft fingers urging you dangerously close to an orgasm. Your toes curl and your legs tremble as he readies the camera. He lifts it until he’s got the right angle. His biceps strain and sweat trickles down his arms as he pumps his digits in and out of you while rubbing your bud rhythmically. His arm is getting tired but he waits… and waits, finger resting just above the shutter as he waits for the right moment. The one where your face scrunches up and your pussy tries to choke his fingers. He fingers you with just the right amount of pressure to grow the feeling inside you until it bursts–

The shutter goes off and a flash brightens the room.

You toss and turn as you cum all over Hyunjae’s fingers, moaning loudly as he fucks you through it. Gradually his pace slows just enough to gently bring you down from your peak. His fingers slip out of your sloppy folds and he licks them clean without a second thought before retrieving the polaroid from its slot. 

You shiver through the aftershocks of your high while you come down further. “How’d it turn out?” You ask, still breathless. Hyunjae looks over to you with dark eyes and you swallow under the passion in his gaze.

“Unreal,” he replies through a husky tone before setting that picture down beside the others. He climbs back on top of you, kissing you repeatedly as he lays his warm body flush with yours. Your legs tangle with his while you make out and your dainty hands mess up his hair as you roll on top of him in bed. You straddle his hips in haste, desperate to ride him but he clamps his strong hands around your waist freezing you in place.

“There's a shot that I want to get,” he hesitantly admits. 

You look down at him with an endeared smile. You knew him well enough to know what he wanted. He always say you look so pretty sucking him off. “Okay, baby,” you say, shuffling down the bed until your lips are inches away from his cock. 

Hyunjae groans, tilting his head back into the pillows as you take him past your lips. You don’t tease, dipping your head forward to ease more of his cock into your mouth while your tongue glides down his length. Your lips tighten around him, sucking in on your way up and swallowing around the head before gliding down again.

“Fuck–

You grind your nose into his pelvis when he reaches the back of your throat and you feel him squirm in bed. You let up again, going slow as you cover his entire cock in your spit. Hyunjae fists the bedsheets and hisses at the sight of you–  his cock, dripping with the attention that you’ve lavished it with, tucked between your plush dewy lips. You sink his cock into your mouth again, moaning as you sense him preparing to snap another picture of you. 

Your eyes begin to water as you take him to the back of your throat a few more times, looking up at Hyunjae just in time to hear the shutter go off again. You close your eyes and hum, sending another shiver of vibrations down his cock as he tries to check out the picture.

All you hear is shallow gasps for a while as Hyunjae holds the polaroid up to his face, coaxing you up and down his length with his other hand.

“This one is golden,” he rasps, voice ragged and thick with pleasure as he bobs you up and down his cock for a bit longer, entranced by how sexy your eyes look in the picture. You suck harder, swirling your tongue around before Hyunjae gently pulls you off of him by your hair.

“Let me see?” You ask, sitting up and straddling his lap as he places that picture to join the rest.

He just shakes his head. “We have to round out the set first,” Hyunjae teases, hands going to rest at your hips as he lines you up with his stiff cock. Placing your hands behind you on his toned thighs as you lift your hips, angling them to catch his cock between your wet folds before you lower yourself onto him. You sit on his cock in one fluid motion and sigh. He feels so good– the sweet slide against your walls as you’re filled making your head spin. You rock forward, leaning back against your arms for leverage while you rock back, savoring his thick cock pressed against you. You raise your hips and drop back down, moaning at the feel of his cock teasing your needy cunt. 

You circle your hips while you bounce in his lap, slamming your hips down harder with every motion. Your head tilts back as you ride him, so satisfied yet so greedy for more, hips beginning to roll faster. Hyunjae tightens his hold on you before matching your thrusts, sending his cock as deep as possible causing you to cry out in abandon. You bounce faster, breathing ragged as you start to work up a sweat, a sheen covering your stomach and thighs. Your skin slaps against Hyunjae’s as you move in sync, connected as one as your bodies heat up.

His fingertips press into your skin, as he takes control, lifting you up and down with only the strength in his arms. Hyunjae fucks you nice and slow, dropping you down on his cock and sliding you off so you feel every inch of him leave your insides.

“Fuck Jae,” you moan, core aching for release just when he’s decided to slow things down.

“Sorry, sweetheart. You look so good like this. I don’t wanna rush,” he whispers, licking his bottom lip as he looks up at you– still dragging you up and down his cock like you weighed practically nothing.

He doesn’t forget the camera, reaching for it with one hand while you take over once more. You slide down nice and slow before raising your hips, pausing at the top when he tells you to.

“You look fucking incredible, baby.” He says as he takes the last shot.

The shutter clicks and you carefully push the camera out of Hyunjae’s hands, feverishly crashing your lips into his a second later. He immediately falls in line, kissing you and giving you exactly what you’ve been waiting for. His arms circle your back as he holds you close and pounds into you. 

You gasp and writhe, taking all that Hyunjae gives you as your thighs give out. 

Pleasure and fatigue build, and build within you, threatening to overflow as he continues his onslaught on your pussy. He snaps his hips into you with unprecedented strength, and thrusts rough and careless, eliciting nothing but filthy sounds out of you.

His pace picks up, strokes falling out of rhythm as he chases his climax. 

The steady push and pull of his cock filling you up crowds your senses. Your mind goes hazy as you focus on how good Hyunjae makes you feel every time. Pushing your body to places that you didn’t think it could go. You clench around him as another huge orgasm shuts down your body.

When you finally come to your senses, you notice that you're sore and covered in sweat. You feel kind of gross, but there's nothing that could make you abandon your place on Hyunjae’s chest right now. 

You’re so tired that when you try to speak, your words come out as syllables abstractly strung together. The last thing you’re aware of is Hyunjae’s cool lips pressed against your forehead as you drift off to sleep.

-

In the morning, you wake up sore. The marks that litter your neck and shoulders are a little tender and you feel like you did 200 sit-ups and 300 squats right before bed. 

Hyunjae wasn't around, but you weren’t surprised by that– he never missed catching the sunrise at dawn.

As you sit up in bed, the stack of polaroids from last night catches your eye and you leap out of bed to sift through them all. The first photo is so innocent that you chuckle, knowing where the night led you. You glance through the rest, cheeks heating up at how bold you are in front of the camera. 

You flip to the last picture in the stack and can’t help but swoon. You set the stack down, covering the unfiltered pictures with the one of Hyunjae kissing you on your forehead while you were fast asleep.

[littleroaes]

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before, tbz

PAIRING ⏵ ( 2nd pov, you ) fem!reader x lee hyunjae, lee juyeon, ji changmin, kim sunwoo, eric sohn

at the last two weeks before the semester; your younger brother leaked your old love letters. when you return to university, you work as a part time assistant for the hockey team. the charming crush of your youth has read your letter and makes a deal to not spread it if in return, you'll be his fake girlfriend for the upcoming house party. that night sets off an event with all five letters.

GENRE ⏵ FLUFF, college!au / university!au, setting around 2013 ( 2010s!au ), 2000s!au ( childhood ), to all the boys i’ve loved before!au, summer!au, some angst since we do only have one end game, childhood friends2lovers, hockey player!hyunjae, playboy (with a soft side)!hyunjae, short fake dating!au side plot, boy next door!eric, frat!eric, rich kid!eric, flirty but shy!sunwoo, old summer love!sunwoo, reader is an medical assistant, lots of pining, mutual pining, cats!!!, nerdy oblivious juyeon, literature major!juyeon, history major!changmin, changmins bad at sports (sorry bub), 3 different types of parties!, a pool party, a house party, a beach party (i don’t even like parties irl!)

WARNINGS ⏵ reader is good at sports ( volleyball ), hyunjae is a little mean/ manipulative at the start, reader gets drunk twice, sunwoo once ( oufff ), swearing a few times ( fuck, shit ), some jealousy, bad dancing (specially from reader), reader's zodiac sign is a capricorn (for a joke), kissing, pet names ( angel, princess ), proofread once ( i feel like ive forgotten something but hope not😭 )

WORD COUNT ⏵ 19 k

playlist i listened to while writing

this is my fic for @deoboyznet the love letter collective event ! if you specifically want to know which members will have more romantic storylines and who reader will end up with; i have written it out at the end of the post! ( if it being your bias is important for reading ex ). though all five will have cute/ flirty moments with reader! i changed to 2nd person pov for no reason😭 i hope you don’t mind here’s a 500 word teaser before commitment ( it’s in 3rd pov for now! )

like and reblog are highly encouraged !

01 . CHAPTER ONE 

IMAGINE THIS; ONCE UPON A TIME, FATHER OF YOURS SAID THAT TO SCOUR THE EVIL THOUGHTS OCCUPYING YOUR YOUNG MIND, ONE ONLY HAS TO WRITE LETTERS. What a magical solution to all the finite problems of youth! That’s what you thought even as you started to come of age and the inevitable falls of love. Each time, when your innocence was consumed, little by little, by the harsh realities of romance; you spit it out on a piece of paper, enveloped it, stored it in a box (extra security measures) and sheltered underneath your bed. 

And now, you’re in university. Back home for the last two weeks before the autumn semester. Laying against the bed–it reeks of school mornings of 2005–and still holds those letters beneath. The pink hues on the pillows are still there, maybe a little washed out. All butterflies stickers from magazines are plastered on furniture that shines, just slightly, when the sun goes down underneath the neighboring roofs, lucent through the open windows. 

You’ve hung out with Eric, a childhood friend. Bicycled down the gravel paths fenced in lines through houses. Side by side, always trying to one up the other like you always did. Take a swim in the same lake, in the same spot those old pictures show. Like those days; the sun never falters until it all stands on the edge between diagonal roofs. 

And amidst your childhood lies your younger cousin. Bare arms touch each other as you lie side by side with feet over the pillows, and noses –the paper box of letters. She told you about a longing crush she has for a boy in the parallel class. When overconsumed by nostalgia; you couldn’t refrain from dusting off the old box. And that’s how you ended up back with the letters you swore to withhold. 

There are five of them. 

The first one is Lee Jaehyun, a three year older popular student who you had a trivial crush on in middle school ( together with everyone else). In all honesty you didn’t know much about him; just that he was cute looking. There’s a sort of emotional torment in recalling the one sided adoration while leaned out the school window to see him play football. Even his name haunts you still in uni as your roommate had a crush on the shining hockey player the entire two semesters.

In short, everyone liked Lee Jaehyun. 

Next is Eric Sohn, your childhood friend, the boy next door, even first love? He has many titles you realize. He lived in an impressive house north from here, one that hosts many parties every time his parents take the trip to their summer resort. At some point, it felt like he knew every kid in town. Luckily, you have never been the jealous type. Despite being each other’s ride or die since ten, you never confessed the secret ways you looked at him back in the sandbox.  

Third is Sunwoo–just Sunwoo; you never got his last name–from summer camp who you even ( jokingly ) got married to. Your first summer at thirteen, away from parents, with kids the same age. When recalling it all back, that summer feels as if taken out of a movie, and you fell head first, three meters deep with the boy. Sunwoo always stood in the center ( bad and good…mostly bad tbh ). You got paired up for the kayak; it pissed rained and your coordination couldn’t take you ten meters. But you remember every word he said as butterfly inducing nonetheless. After that, at night you snuck out of your cabins to watch the stars. And when that summer too ended, you swore your heart shattered into million pieces.

The fourth is Lee Juyeon, a boy you had never seen before until his cat got pregnant by yours. Scuba Steve ( long story ) had been gone for some days until another family came up to their door with him. For half a year, it felt like you saw Lee Juyeon everyday. He was just as enchanted by kittens as you ( if not more ) and you two would visit each other just to cuddle with them. The teenage heart used to rush with the mere presence of him and together you named all the kittens–until they were sold off. Then they eventually stopped seeing each other. Though he still lurks around as a poet’s ghost around campus ( source Eric ). 

The last one, Ji Changmin, the son of your mother’s friend. He teached you calculus for a while in high school. To be fully transparent, you didn’t learn much from him that year because all you did was leaning on the kitchen table while adoring him until the rims of his glasses slipped. He always scolded you endearingly when you didn’t listen ( which was the majority of the time ). Ji Changmin always wore cute polos with neat pants–now when thinking about it, mother might have approved if you got together. But it’s too late. He went to uni; and simply left you with a newfound thing for glasses ( still wearing cute polos in uni ). 

And that’s all. You sometimes wonder if it was a mere symptom of youth that resulted in those letters. Since uni–outside a campus crush or two-–that compelling yearning for someone has never come back. 

Eventually the bird’s cease to sing once the sun swallows entirely by the horizon, and cicadas can be heard through the open windows. You leave the letters as the two of you close the door. Mother asked if you and your cousin wanted to go with the rest of the adults down to the green field at the center of the neighborhood, you said yes. 

When the heavy door shuts against the frame, voices from your younger brother’s room at the highest floor seeps through the windows.

( next morning ) 

“Mom, you haven’t seen some letters?” You stand at the stairs to look down the kitchen counter where mother and your brother turn from the pantry light. 

“Three’s blue and two pink envelopes?” You ask again. 

Mom shakes her head, “No, I haven’t?” 

You sigh, sprint up the second floor. 

“Y/n?” 

Call of your name echoes through the frame into your room. To look over the bed and see your younger brother centered at the white rectangle. His fringe like curtains reluctant to open as he looks elsewhere. You come up completely. 

“What?” 

“The letters…” 

Your ears perk up, “You’ve seen them?” 

“No, I took them…” He says guilty and starts tearing off paint from the wall. 

“The guys wanted to prank you yesterday, we sent them, I’m really sorry.” 

He looks up again, “But I told them to not do anything more.” He reassures, but his voice trails off as you neither alienate or sigh at this confession. Eyes, lifeless as the posture in your arms hanging off your stale corpse. 

“You did what?” You ask; wishing you heard incorrectly the first time and he crashed a vase instead. 

“We sent your letters..” He says hesitantly with eyebrows knit. 

You close your eyes. Take your hands up your face to cup it and breathe in. Autumn semester starts in exactly 13 days and you know at least half of the letter receivers attend. And definitely all five live in the city. 

To breathe out, hands fall in your lap. He cocks an eyebrow at what one could guess is a meditation session before you open your eyes. 

“I’LL KILL YOU!” 

02 . CHAPTER TWO

( tuesday afternoon ) 

The letters were out; an existential dread running on two bags of pure sugar surged within you. A sensation you were oblivious to existed. First week went, and you hoped the mail man had fallen over and left the letters on the highway, doomed to get run over til their unreadable. But those wishes perished the very moment Eric Sohn came chanting underneath the window. The characteristic bird chimes and mowers intertwined in green leaf rustle; his voice echoed through open glass. You told mom not to tell him you were here; that you had already taken the train to the city. 

Destiny was in your favor for once, and your mother did lie when Eric came to the front door. 

So far, none crossed fate with the receivers of your letters has ensued. Eric was the only established friend in your life, hence you held yourself far, far away from any business major hot spots. Though, just after achieving three days. The first afternoon at the start of your part time; rulers leave you forced to stare eye to eye with receiver number one.

“This is Y/n, she will work as your athletic trainer assistant for this semester.” The trainer lifts hands to his side to make it even clearer than it already was. It is damn cold beside the ice rink–which you thank god for since your face would be blistered red otherwise. As he presents for all tall men in thick layers of hockey protection, they stare; you’re left to make a timid jazz hand motion with a strained smile. 

“I’m Y/n.” Hands fall back to your side and concentrate all might to look at the other eight people–not the one to the right. 

“She will be helping me with equipment and aid; so you’ll see her around a bit.” 

The players wave past you in turn; to introduce themselves in a mere identical manner. The last name pains deeply as you pretend to find shoelaces loose. 

“Jaehyun.” 

You can’t see his expression, not even when eyes come up. Only his back covered in blue jersey greets you as he steps off the plastic flooring and onto the ice. 

Though, it is an immediate opportunity for breathing room when all players go to practice. The plastic walls become solid and you look over the formations on ice. Maybe you got yourself free from this one? Maybe Hyunjae also thought it was so damn awkward that it’s easier to ignore it. You hope deeply while taking off one glove, as sultry temperatures rise beside the rink. 

Followed by the 30 minutes of relocating equipment around the center, the next time you come back into the ice hall, the trainer greets you with sweat outlining his sideburns. You knit your eyebrows before taking eyes off him and onto the player in navy; halting out the rink. Turns out Coach yelled two different instructions, followed after one another; which resulted in a collision of two players. 

He tells you to take him, who limps to the clothing rooms. By immediate compliance you approach his silhouette; leaning on the plastic divide. You can’t make out the exact expression as he faces the ground, but when you ask him if he needs help walking. That horribly handsome face from your childhood looks up. Breathing heavily, but smiles through the fringe. 

“Yeah.” 

You purse your lips into a thin line. To force sight away from him. You look at the entrance to the ice hall while taking his arm over your shoulders. Come to the clothing room after taking off his ice skates. The two intentions of your own conscience fought while walking. Nothing would be more awkward than looking at him again, on the other hand, the concern over his weak state is true as the continuous breath sounds loudly beside your ear. 

Hyunjae’s now on the bench before one side of the lockers. He watches attentively as you round the sport’s bags to take the first aid kit on the other side. The ventilation is the loudest thing in the room. At some point it becomes bothersome as you hold his clothing. You haven't made eye contact since the rink, but senses his gaze fixed over your scalp.  

He talks suddenly.

“You know Y/n, I got your letter.” He says while looking down at your hand; securing the bandage around his ankle. 

Fuck. 

Fingers stale from suspension for a moment on the bandage edges. The material loses around his ankle and you force it towards you. 

A sigh, still looking down, “Listen; it was my br–” 

“It’s appreciated Angel, but it will never happen.” His lips curve higher at one opposite edge, leaving his eyes on you with pleasure like he knows something wrong. 

You let go off his legs; weight from your hands fully on your knees as you observe–rolling your eyes. 

“I know, okay.” You breathe in, “What I was about to say was; my little brother sent it, it was not meant to be seen by you.” Another sigh before you force yourself up from the floor; coming in greater height than Hyunjae. 

“Also; I wrote it when I was like 11.” To turn to the first aid kit, “So don’t get your ego too high, Ice God.” 

“Sure, if that’s what you say, Angel.” Hyunjae takes his palms on the bench surface; leaning against the locker. Arch of his lips might rewrite your life when he proceeds to stare.  

“Why do you even call me that?” You return to the opposite side and cross arms; to perceive him roughly as if to build similar strain in him. But it leaves to no avail. 

“Why?” He quotes, “You’re sitting here healing us, our team’s little angel.” He shrugs his shoulders. 

You look away as to not blossom of rose pigment–instead start organizing the materials in the aid kit. 

“Either way, Jaehyun. You can go now, it’s done.” 

No length of his voice waves via the dead locker ocean. After eyes set on the sections of the green bag; you glance at his bench. And to make you uncertain, his white bandage leg is still in frame. After you pull the zipper and leave the kit in your lap; you stare at Hyunjae who, with the usual smile, stares back. 

“I said you can go…” Quietly and tilt your head towards the door. 

“I know.” Hyunjae voices in the same tone as before. 

You side eyes him still and sits up. 

“I have a deal. Would you like to hear it?” He says suddenly, causing a rupture across the room and stacked tension weighing on your shoulders.

“Okay…” There’s an uncertain principle, written like a formula over your expression, layered in your voice. 

“You go with me as my girlfriend for Jeno’s party this Friday.” He says monotone. 

The first aid kit frees from your hands. Eyes drifting between two points and you’re left looking eyebrow knit at him two meters away. Then, forced to turn when he smiles contempt. You swiftly bend down to take the aid kit before returning gaze. Hyunjae sees in center of two bags hanging; your lips sunder to shove down the offer. Right through the concrete to the core mit. 

“--Or else I’m putting up your letter for the whole campus to see.” 

You immediately shut sealed and eyelids folds half over the curvature. He smiles so hard it borders on comical. And with his arms crossed over his jersey, you only wait for them to fall and see him burst out laughing; tell you he got you. But the silence prevails your thoughts and you start to believe he’s actually serious. 

“I don't believe you.” You look tired at him. 

“No, I’m serious.” Hyunjae still nonchalantly crossed armed and slack raised shoulders. 

As another passage of ventilation comes through, beckon time like the minute visor. You finally sigh and sit down at the bench again. 

“Why even me? Can’t you just ask someone else?” Frustration over the seemingly complex idea for a deal when he could make it ten times easier for himself.

His expression falters for a second after the question. Hyunjae holds his lips sealed; unaltered high posture cause he hesitates to give away his shortcomings. But on the other hand, just a little empathy might do it. 

“I’m actually in a bad position, Angel.” He leans forward, voice quieter.

“Everyone knows I’ve got a girlfriend, but she broke up with me before the semester. They want to finally see her, but I got none” He pauses and leans his chin on his hand and pouts a little, “--just you.”

The withered corners of your face perks slowly up as he ends his sentence. Hyunjae smiles harder, believing he a white winged victory, but it disappears the very second you laugh in his face. Your back comes against the support of the bench while eyelids close to the bottom of laughter.

“She dumped you?” Hands gather in your knees. 

“Too bad, too bad.” 

It’s Hyunjae’s turn giving stale eyes. Though, just as fast; he gathers himself back and leans onto the lockers again. 

“Yeah, is it a deal or not, Angel?” 

You breathe in and look at him still. Hyunjae is more foolish than his appearance gave off, you don't have faith in first impressions. He might as well scan your lost letter and create a chain mail across campus. Partying wasn’t on your list for the first weekend of the semester, but maybe you could get away with lurking against the wallpaper?

You swing your left foot and finally look back at him, “Okay, deal then.” 

Hyunjae smirks. 

“Just this, then we're equal. No grudge, no obligations.” 

“Sure.” He nods. 

You tilt your chin down, “...I don’t trust you, Jaehyun.” 

He lets his hands up, “Look, I’m keeping my promise. I told you my dirt too.” 

“Like not having a girlfriend is as embarrassing as a love letter written in 2002.” 

( friday evening ) 

“Okay, should we go in then?” You take a step forward but get pulled by the shirt. Shoulders come up against him and the arm sleeve of his clothing folds against your nape.

From your first encounter until Friday; you were forced to persevere through charming–bordering on foolish–remarks. The weekend prophesied as projection on the glass entrance that Friday. And it shattered the very moment Hyunjae’s voice echoed from the changing rooms. That he’ll wait for you outside the women’s dormitory. With not a twitch in own expression, he disappeared behind the frame with a wink. 

One of your two roommates was also invited to the house party. The thought of having someone else other than ice god settled some relief. But as you stood waiting in the summer heat of night; the first bus went and fifteen minutes later, you saw a familiar silhouette to the left of the stairs you sat on. 

He didn’t say anything when you refused to sit up and just glared tired at him. 

“What’s with the face, Angel?” He had asked laughing lightly, “We’ll miss the bus.”, you are forced to stand. 

“You’re late, Ice God.” You muttered and started walking towards the bus stop. Hyunjae ran up beside.  

Both talked while the streetlights behind the glass window became all the more distant. Though, it didn’t become hopelessly quiet, as it was a loud friend group behind. You cursed your half sleeve arms when Hyunjae didn’t know the way to Jeno's house from the bus stop. Forced to traverse between bushes when he pointed at mindless directions. Swore that he knew the “shortcut”. And ants might as well have climbed up your toes and into your underwear. 

Now, as either stands before the three stairs and the entrance door in the midst of the front yard. You're pulled against his chest (still covered in leaves). 

“Not so fast.” 

Though he’s out of peripheral vision; the self satisfied tone at every articulate visualizes his smile. His hands like a thin veil across your shoulders–you take a step back from them, to face him fully. 

“Okay then? What’s the plan, Ice God?” You cross arms to build some fence–to match his pride. But either only shares an instant of eye contact before you press your lips and look towards the sad flowers hidden in the corner. 

Hyunjae has always enjoyed teasing people. Of course, a bit apprehensive to strangers, but nonetheless; he waits no time to poke at the first friend closest in sight. He himself has probably no thought about it, but he has a thrill for watching people’s reactions. You were no different. Like the sun; secret behind the trees, it’s always so obvious. You were flustered by his turns of nicknames and comments; so much that you feel to defend your blemished garden. There’s something endearingly professional about you, he thinks. 

“You have a lip balm or something?” He cocks an eyebrow. 

You look at your belongings; eyes looking as narrow threads when apprehensive. To wait for his signature laughter but instead nods his head. You roam around the bag; hands helping to widen your vision, but not enough to notice his fingers below the tender sprout against your head. You look up to see him with one of your two hair clips. Curious what he’ll do; you try no fence when he sets it on his fringe. 

“Now I’m yours.” He smiles. 

Hyunjae comes down to you slightly before returning; taking his eyes off and onto the entrance before brushing past your shoulder. Because of the evening shades, the red pigments on your cheeks withers out with skin as you look behind your shoulder to see Hyunjae’s figure let the deafening conversations from inside, out. He doesn’t look back towards you, and you knit eyebrows before taking double steps up the stairs and into the house. 

With one step you push yourself off the wallpaper; feel shoulders brushing up against your own as the living room opens. 

Hyunjae held your hand for the first half an hour. He then let go when something happened between the friends (you didn’t know). But even then you tailed after like some home cat. Though, as anxiety arose after seeing a group of Eric’s friends in the same room, you cautiously backed into the corner. Some stranger did the rest for you when they collided with the table and Jeno’s grandma fell lid first and shattered on the floor. It became a bit quiet when poor grandma(s ashes) laid there, all spread out. 

After Jeno panicked and some helped clean up; the chamber of incomprehensible conversations started again. 

There’s cliques scattered between the couches. You reach on high toes to see past all the height and hair to locate the frame you came in from. Soon you fall back to your heels, just as the chorus waves through the walls. The crowd suddenly opens up before you when two people walk away. You’re left still and see the open door to the hallway. Shoulders come down in height just as you breathe out. Relieved to take a step to finally leave; but your feet barely touch the wood until eyes widens and air asphyxiates in your throat. 

At the end of the high walls; Eric stands half a meter from the door frame. A lamp shines from behind him, lightning up his half body. Like the sun; he becomes the very essence of the narrow square. 

You turn in a desperate attempt for survival. This season heat and packed building; it all bends backwards through the grass field in all four directions. 

Immediately you see diagonally behind, a staircase up to the second floor. You don't even look back to Eric before colliding with someone's back and sprint up. There’s no lighting up the wooden stairs, just Earth’s wailing moon through the pier glass. 

All those voices–through speakers or chords–wanes like the full to crescent moon month. 

There’s closed doors around. It burns pace from behind and you take the handle of the door left to the stairs. Without letting it open even half way; you slip past the glimpse and lock it shut.

You lean close to the door; feel the cold wood on your left cheek. The party’s over on this side. Like the melancholic memory of falling asleep to the adults in the other room. 

When you expect nothing; a clear voice from behind reiterates peculiar sentences. 

Not strong enough to take your chin off the door; you look past your shoulder to see someone in the bathtub with a damned annotated book. 

It takes about three seconds from first contact until the bathtub guy flinches, “Ah!?” 

“Oh my god!” Your eyes widen while your shoulders contract as wings. 

It echoes between the tiles when his book lands on the bathtub floor. To face the sudden him, distressed; your hands come up in height with your wing like bone. 

“Sorry.” You deadpan. 

“No, it’s okay.” He answers, soft spoken. Eye contact stays fleeting as his fringe–like curtains–falls before the mirage window when he reaches for the book. He mends the awry strands into place; scour the wordy dimensions to where he left off. 

You recall his soft silken halo. Hands come down to its sides and you lean off the door. Like a main character from an academic tale; he looks deeply dreamlike–always somewhere else. The guy feels your presence still as above the title cover; his eyes peeks. 

At this point, you look at him with wide eyes horror; ready for him to either aristocratically roast your fourteen old writing, or condense into second hand embarrassment and hide under the bathtub. 

Lee Juyeon sits in the damn bathtub of a house party. 

As you’re deep in fourth dimensional torment; Juyeon speaks first. 

“Oh, Y/n.” 

He smiles, still holds the book before him. 

You refuse to move, “Hi…Juyeon.” 

“That was a long time.” He switches between your eyes and the next sentence. 

The tension in your frame aids in turn for every second. Juyeon doesn’t mention any letters, but still, you eye him suspiciously. 

“Yeah.” You agree awkwardly. 

“Why are you here?” You ask. 

Juyeon pauses in sentence once again to shift his fringe and look up. You had nearly forgotten the patterns of silence and speaking he so often followed. Back when they always met; they spent so many seconds simply waiting for him to talk. 

“I would ask you the same thing.” He sort of tilts his head attentively. 

With your lips pursed instead of answering, you look to the mirror above the sink. Water in delicate droplets dive in while he turns the next page. 

“Escaping things?” He asks, still reading.  

You nod. 

“We all do.” 

You see him through the mirror reflection. His eyes bent like a faint wave from shore; reassures her lone presence. 

As he closes off himself again; you figure he doesn’t mind their shared space. There’s no sign of knowledge about your letter. Juyeon always reeked of innocence, so maybe you’re wishing. 

But Eric’s still one floor below (taking the safe option). 

You take a seat on the bathtub edge. Shoulder faces Juyeon who leans his back on the discolord cream white tiles. . 

“Should I read something for you?” He asks soothingly. 

You hesitate before letting your hands comfortably down the edge, “Okay.” 

“You want some?” He reaches out the green glass bottle. 

Your shoulders scoff when your mind affirms, “Thank you.” 

Juyeon asks suddenly, “How’s Scuba Steve?” 

Truly the only thing left that protects from not spitting out the alcohol is embarrassment. You do an expression tainted by drinks or unease, and let the bottle down your lap. 

To wonder how in the passage of all years; Juyeon recalls your insignificant house cat that mated with his own (or maybe it’s not that weird when you think after). 

There’s a sort of foolish–bordering on stupid–touch in your chest that he actually never forgot Scuba Steve. One could guess we live on, assuming we’re the only one that remembers. 

“Oh, he’s dead.” You deadpan.

“Oh.” 

The room reaches–what resembles closest to silence– in a house party. Both their lips are pressed in thin lines as they view the tiles above each other again. 

“You then?” Silence starts to torture you briefly in your fingers.

“How’s…” Your face contracts in parallel to the ceiling when scattered bleached cuts from that black little cat sleeping on his floor. 

“Mindy?” He says. 

“Oh, Yeah.” 

They both laugh. 

“She’s still alive.” He lets the book down for the first time (excluding the jumpscare), “She’s with mom and dad. Though she's getting very old now, she eats less and doesn’t even go out anymore.” 

As they sat there talking about cats and poetry; eventually the boundary past the toilet door ceases. You didn’t leave that end of the bathtub (aside from running down the kitchen with Juyeon for more alcohol). 

Now they lie on opposite builds against the cold edge. It’s been sometime since you drank, specifically this much. You can’t talk for Juyeon, but he seems pretty damn wasted too. Your eyes dares to fall while Juyeon’s shirt climbs up his chin as he comes deeper down the tub. 

“I can’t wake up here.” You mumble. Either to yourself or decked out Juyeon; you don't know. He answers something incomprehensible back as a bottle in the scattered line before the bathtub falls. While you grasp for the handle, you turn barely to Juyeon who has his eyes half open. 

“Bye, Juyeon, it was epic.” You wave your free hand, “Tell Mindy I said Hi.” 

“I’ll do.” He tiredly answers back. 

The alcohol withers boundaries within your body. Turns it weak for the downstairs crowd, like poison inducing nausea. In line with poison; You walk as if zombie apocalypse smitten down the stairs without holding onto the railing. Somehow reaches the ground floor and passes through the living room. 

Whatever mechanisms your mind built to defend its dignity from Eric; it took the place of the alcohol in its glass bottles. You’re in the hallway, three meters from the entrance. It’s overheating–worse than a sauna–in the house. Mere presence of tepid air has your hands trailing along the walls. 

A warmth presence dividing the you and outside blocks. In a desperate drunk attempt you push against it and complain. 

“Out the way, you’re fucking hot.” 

“I am?” 

It speaks back, in a tone rather mischievous than what your state calls for. With a shift of the inner lightning; you realize you have your hands on a uni jacket. The logo turns and you would accuse him of motion sickness. 

From your face-low angle, his hands are tied between the blue pockets. You lean harder on the wall to force your chin where his head is tilted with a smile to the same degree. 

“You’re still here.” You still complain and his face drops. Eyes fleet between your face, the opposite wall, and the entrance door to return. 

“That wasn’t a compliment, right?” His fingers directed to his chest. 

“No, Einstein.” Eyebrows knit when realizing you’ve drifted off the main mission. Two shoulders on opposite ends collide as you hastily drag along to the frame. 

“Woah, woah.” The male student takes your wrist lightly, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

“I think it’s a great idea.” You defend without knowing. 

“You’re gonna fall down the stairs.” 

His voice is strangely worried which you would have been touched by, if it wasn’t for the drunk state. 

Mid temperatures of night may have transpired any senses as you don't answer. He takes this to come up in line with you; one decimeter away from the first stairs. 

There’s two people, solitude in a hammock to the right, and prey like shadows of two around the grass. Music from inside is still too loud, and it probably hides someone puking at the other end. 

“I’ll help you, okay? I’m not a weirdo.” 

You turn your head to side eye him. Either promise respect or sacrificially bow down, he throws his hand up. To then gently lie it on your shoulder, lead you down. 

“That’s what a weirdo would say.” You mumble without working against him. 

Gravel scratches underneath their feet and the male student takes his hand off your shoulder; though still twined by the wrist. 

He starts, “I need your name, I should call–” 

“Sunwoo!” 

It seizes pulsations from inside, and the male student takes his head from you. Features on his face and the blue jacket is immediately recognised by the one below. The student's eyes are wide and Sunwoo’s eyebrows hold a neutral position above. 

“Jaehyu–”

“She’s my girlfriend!” Hyunjae takes your wrist from him. 

“Why are you still standing here?” He agitates before wandering off the gates with you. 

Sunwoo shoves his hands up in height with his chest once again; not risking to start fighting with the reigning hockey player while he’s half drunk, half angry.

“I don’t think I’m allowed in here.” Sounds tense. 

“It’s not like you’re here to hook up.” 

“They don’t know that.” Hyunjae deadpans. 

After both left Sunwoo at the stone stairs, Hyunjae coursed through the shrubbery once again. You seemed confused over the interaction; he doesn’t think you even realized the hand on your own changed. He thought you would sober up during the train ride, but you still took irregular stepping patterns down the warm lighted gravel path. 

While down the glass entrance to the soaring female dormitory; Hyunjae motioned you to walk in. But as fast he let go of your shoulder, you stumbled three steps back. 

“What should we do then?” Hyunjae asks, frustrated. 

“I don’t know, it was your idea to go the party.” You cross arms. 

“And yours to get so drunk that you can’t stand.” He spits back. 

The night pulls them close when they wait lonely, as if exiled. Summer cicadas swallow their venom words and when one street lamp flickers; Hyunjae sighs and takes a seat down the stairs. You follow. 

Once the peaceful moon renders all its light, leaving it to its bones; your head falls to his shoulder. While you carve shapes in its craters, your arms mindlessly pull him close. The strands of your hair accumulate on his neck, and while filed under the same sky, your breath sounds like a soundtrack to him. 

Like the passage from day to night; he notices his heart like it’s vastly alive. How many eyes have looked at him adoringly, but he can’t even anxiously look down your side. It’s familiar yet strange, he refuses to acknowledge it. And still you are oblivious, can’t even see his blushing face. 

“Shouldn’t you go home?” You ask softly. Tired and slow in contrast to the previous sentence. 

“I can’t leave you here.” He finally looks down at you. 

“Then you're going to be tired tomorrow.” Guilt visually lines your sunken silhouette. 

Hyunjae smiles, “You’re gonna be too.” 

He speaks gently again after silence, “Sober up a bit more and you’ll walk up.” 

03 . CHAPTER THREE

( saturday midday )

Not because you thought you were immortal anyway, but the next morning came crashing through the roof. While grieving your roof (it wasn’t broken), you swore the ceiling fan was up to mock you in its circles. All while last night lingers as a supercut. 

Your two roommates had woken up earlier, they were supposed to go out. Where? You can’t remember; at that point you were still trying to figure out who you bickered with outside Jeno’s stairs. 

Either way, the bottom line is; you didn’t throw off your clothes, and no texts from Eric. 

The campus is idyllically still in late summer. Bird whistle intertwines with the wind who walks like you through the grass, under the same gravel path Hyunjae led you yesterday. Sun drenched tree crowns and your eyes yearn through the gaps. 

There’s a yellow haze over the world and when you take another step; charge in gravel comes from behind. How your legs sway towards the grass border, fleeting levels with your eyes over your shoulder. A bicycle comes half a meter before; stops it with his right foot.

“Oh–Hi, Y/n.” 

“Oh, Juyeon?” 

He jumps off the saddle and they fall in same line. 

“You look a bit tired?” Juyeon asks in a voice, perfect sync with the bird song. Once again the world falls so dream-like behind him. 

“Yeah, yesterday was…stressful.” You take a palm up to your forehead. 

Juyeon’s smile falters, anxiously tilts his head, “Did I do something last night?” 

“No,no–something else happened…not you.” Hand between the open space which you wave reassuringly. His eyes become concerned and yours only redder. Hyunjae’s touch still lingers on that half of your body; you’re afraid Juyeon can see it. 

You ask something else instead, “You then? You’re not tired?”

He laughs softly, “A bit.” “But I’m supposed to meet a family friend.”

You nod. 

Leaving the last tree behind; the blue sky opens up, just in time for his revelation. Juyeon turns to you fully. Merely one can make out the contour of a light bulb above his head. 

“She bought two of our kittens; Lemon and…” He knits his eyebrows, unable to see your eyes, brilliant with curiosity. 

“I forgot.” He laughs, “They’re big now, I see them sometimes.” 

“Really?” 

Juyeon hums, “Do you want to see them?” 

“Of course!..if it’s okay for your friend?”

“She’s a lady my mother knows.” Juyeon takes one leg over the bicycle saddle and tilts his head–so that his hair too–points to the rack. 

“Jump on.” 

To exchange his eyes with the bicycle rack; you purse your lips and walk behind. Hands immediately cling to the metal frame, but as Juyeon weighs forward, you hold onto his shirt. 

Juyeon looks back and smiles as you struggle, “Hold my waist or you’ll fall off.” 

At this moment, you’re so deeply relieved he hasn’t read your letter. It eases the touch in your hands as they come to his front. Shirt folded above your clasped hands lies like a veil.

That feeling, of when a perfect alignment of past and memory presents. It washes over one as soften, melancholic, whiplash. You hadn’t thought about his scent in years, but as they chase the sun yet never pass it, his shirt touches your cheek. In his home where they used to sit on knees beside each other. It flutters your heart tenderly. 

At the high end peak you felt burdensome. Juyeon reassured you while weighing onto the pedals standing. He seemed to quietly persist in breathing through his nose, even when he was audible panting. 

He led the bicycle to the front, beneath the shadowed roof; you cast your eyes over the asphalt end. The wind rushes through nature up here. As such the foreground, alive, before the still concrete and bricks. 

Juyeon called your name to where he waited beside the door. With a half a shoulder hidden by his own, the bell goes off. A lady opens and smiles instantly as she sees Juyeon. Her wrist in rose patterns reaches out for his shoulder, comforts it gently. Since you’re a stranger; you’re left to awkwardly observe and retell like a narrator. 

“Oh, you have a girl with you?” She smiles at Juyeon, which he returns. He introduces you to the lady while she weakly widens the door gap. 

She still talks when three cats come to the hallway rug. Curiously they silently circle your legs, but they too can tell you’re no threat. 

An orange cat, clothed in layers of orange fur, brushes its head against your calf. You immediately bend down to pet it. To figure out if this fox-like complexion existed in your past too; you tilt your head. But your cat’s were more like crows than foxes. 

Apparently something must have shown because Juyeon says from beside. 

“This is Belle, they had their own kittens here. Ours are probably resting on the couch.” 

You look up, “Oh.” 

The old lady goes to the kitchen to take out tea and biscuits. Meanwhile Juyeon guides you to the living room where three other cats lie in the cushions of a worn down brown couch. Their socks tenderly span across the clear floor, and it must have woken them up. You smile briefly when they instantly seem to recognize him; reach their heads up for touch once he sits. All weights deeper down the material once you sit beside him. Touching shoulders to see a cat lick his finger in his lap. 

Like a jet black scarf in his jeans pattern; it contrasts from the faint white mark–like a moon at night–on her head. 

“She’s so big now.” You say when visions from those evenings before the TV playing Sailor Moon. You called out her name–Luna–that day when you saw her cramped between her siblings. 

Juyeon also named a kitten after a TV show he watched..

“Is that Mum Mew?” 

Now in direction towards the floor; a larger cat, half underneath the couch, half on your feet. 

Juyeon laughs, “He’s Oscar now.” He leans closer and whispers, “I don’t think I’ve ever told her that was his original name.” 

They sit there until the lady comes out again. 

“It’s so lovely that you got a girlfriend, Juyeon.” She puts down the plate and the two look at her, “I’ve all actually thought about you a lot. I’ve been thinking about calling your mother to set you up with someone, I started to get a bit worried.”

The lady has an attentive x on her face. The skin on her forehead hides nothing as it folds, deeply contemplated. Only with your head down and suppressed smile, can you clearly notice the plates against wooden surfaces. Juyeon scratches his nape frantically while laughing. 

"Yeah, uhh–” He stammer. 

“You know, by your age, I was with many guys.” She sits down on the opposite chair. 

“We got together, then we broke up. I had a guy in Paris who I really liked.” She leans forward, “Back then I was so in love I wanted to stay. I thought he was perfect! Kind, handsome, sex–”

“What’s the type of cookie?” Juyeon suddenly bursts out. Leaned over the table pointing at the brown one that’s obviously chocolate. But the lady doesn’t seem to bother. 

“Oh, you see!” 

You press your lips, the color might have vanished. Though it was painfully awkward; Juyeon was just adorable enough to turn the situation endearing. She still describes in detail over her mother’s mother recipe; and Juyeon from the side nods his head attentively, like he always does. 

After another conversation, the topic returns. 

“So when did you meet?” 

Turns to exchange question marks between you. His eyes don't say much and you guess yours neither. 

Juyeon scratches his nape, “We’ve been friends for sometime.” 

Lady nods, “Since when?” 

“Like…” He looks at you for confirmation, “...fourteen or fifteen?” 

“Did you confess, Juyeon? Or Y/n?” She smiles and looks at you, “Juyeon is a bit shy, I’ll be surprised if he confessed.” 

He retreats back to the couch; sinks down the heavy material. You laugh lightly at how his shoulders, swallows by waves of brown textile. 

“Y/n actually liked me first back then.” He points out gently.

You freeze. 

“Then I confessed in university.” 

The old woman does a sweet smile; hands patterned of life lie like a cover over her heart as she looks at both. 

For the longer you’re in someone’s presence; one starts to adjust to the traits. But even how many conversations went on and the sun above crossed her roof; your shoulders hardened. Like irreversible death does to your physical state, you seem unable to look to Juyeon’s side. By all stars in the universe; you’re suddenly transparent. Obvious, translucent piercing glass. 

You looked out the window at the old woman’s house; terrifyingly, the sky was pink. All the world disappeared at fatal speed when they bicycled back to campus. There must be a sort of brilliant snow, in a color out of our spectrum, that rains down on Earth in summer evening. It leaves the landscape quiet and calm. Cicadas sing when everyone else ceases to. 

None of you felt like going to the dorms just yet, instead; you now sit in the auditorium. Though either laugh echoes throughout the wide open space, there’s a dissolving acid in your lungs, begging to drink all air. 

All those characteristics of a person reveal to the open world after all these years. Because you can’t remember Juyeon being so persistent in apologizing. They came in on the “girlfriend” incident; he smiled embarrassingly, felt guilty for forcing you in on it. You told him it was okay. 

After echoing silence; it soars through the auditorium. Juyeon reaches down his backpack with all its scattered papers. There’s a velvety pulse keeping the space next to you occupied while he’s elsewhere. Once Juyeon comes out of the canvas material; your eyes widen in terror, contrasting the melodic decoration of red velvet and wood. 

Your conscious runs desperately from this room, but physical state is in the same seat. 

Juyeon holds out a blue letter with your handwriting on it. 

“I should’ve said it sooner, I’m sorry.” He says in that gentle tone he always speaks to you with. Maybe a soft arch at the end of the sentence. Nonetheless, you imaginary stabs the mind resting in your bone cradle. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” You look at him once before turning to the empty seat and make an expression. One of deep second hand embarrassment that comes from the very narrow part of ‘me’ and sends like shivers. 

“I understand.” Juyeon follows your movements, “You were not supposed to see that letter, they shouldn’t have been leaked.” 

Worried you might have genuinely caused borderline trauma for the poor guy; you turn to him, “I’m really sorry.” 

“No.” The corners of his lips turn into leaves of a red apple. His eyes clouds the color round the pupil and his height convulses barely as he leans into the seat. 

Parts of us never veins, and in front of you, he’s the same boy who patted kittens and was deeply sad when they parted from their mother.  

“I’m honestly very touched by it.” He admits. 

He was back in his childhood home for the last week before semester. When folding the navy sheets of his old bed; his mother came up. A letter in her hand with turquoise color and bubble arch letters in pink ink. Already, it couldn’t be something written in ‘today’. 

And Juyeon is truthful towards you. He read it on the train back home. Always oblivious but grateful nonetheless. Used the window like a passage to the time where you sat beside him on the bedroom floor. 

“Really?” You say surprised. 

He nods, “I’ve never gotten a love letter before.” 

You would scoff and tell him he’s lying, but as his appreciative eyes blur with the blue envelope; you don’t. 

“You know, I think you should join the writer’s club here on campus.” Juyeon smiles at you suddenly. 

“What?” You lean away. 

“Really.” His eyes shapes of honest o’s, “Like–of course there’s some grammar mistakes and you spelt ‘desperatly’ wrong, but you got the feeling!” 

Still the same skeptical expression answers him back. 

“I’m really serious Y/n.”

Own hands in your lap trail towards each other like opposite poles, “I’ll think about it.” 

You watch how he timidly holds the edges and opens the envelope again. Lips shaped in pout like he wonders. 

“Does it bother you if I keep it?” He asks. 

Head shake, though still confused, “No, you can keep it.” 

“Thank you.” He smiles endearingly and tucks it back between the papers and folders. 

A revelation wasn’t as horrid as you thought. Hyunjae’s was deeply embarrassing, but there’s a brief space for contemptment in your heart where anxiety wandered before. Like a visual sight of the butterfly; you look up at the auditorium and ponder over the hidden connections.

You didn’t expect anything from Juyeon; that time has passed. But his now grown up presence seems to fulfill this daily life too. 

“Did others get letters?” Juyeon breaks silence. Like always, his expression paints past the physical boundaries, and one could make out white lines of curious cat ears. 

You figure he means the “they shouldn’t have been leaked”. 

You nod and he tilts his head. Visual intrigue and anticipation from his seat, but you close off in rose pigment like tired flowers. 

“I'd rather not tell you, it’s a bit embarrassing.” You laugh and Juyeon leans back, reassuring. 

This anticipating silence doesn’t cease. It exists as a continuation, a ‘more’ before the ‘end’. One person can’t seem to leave the edge undiscovered, rather, you wait for the red thread to tie its last loop. 

“You know Eric has been looking for you? He seems to miss you a lot.” Juyeon finally says. Tone serious than anything else that left his lips. 

A stone grows between your throat, not acid. There’s no dissolving, just constant aching as you try to move. 

Juyeon continues to talk as you’re silent, “I don’t know what it is, but he’s very understanding…”

He pauses, “...and you know, cause you know him better than I do.” 

04 . CHAPTER FOUR

( tuesday, morning )

“Where’s the psychiatrist?” 

“At the library.” 

“No, I can’t talk to Juyeon anymore.” He groans. 

To drift from the flat roofs outside the window; Eric looks at Sunwoo, further the beige walls. Sunwoo’s head is deep tucked beneath the bedding; Eric crawls over from his own bed to the end of Sunwoo’s. When the weight leans towards Sunwoo’s feet, he closes the pink envelope and lets the navy sheets hide it. The cover comes off Sunwoo’s head by Eric. His face like the moon causes an eclipse over the sun and Sunwoo stares unenchanted back at it. 

“Y/n still haven't answered my messages, it’s been like three weeks!” Eric forces the pillow down. 

“I wouldn’t answer you either.” Sunwoo pats bedding over his chest while Eric throws the pillow at his side. 

They just became friends at the end of the last semester and decided to room for this year. As one’s social circles opens up in double doors whenever Eric comes; your name was one of the first he heard. Sunwoo immediately leaned intrigued at the name, but figured it was just a mere coincidence. He was bound to grow from youth and twine old names with new faces. 

Either way, destiny doesn’t exist, and he won’t take a bait from the universe. Though, Sunwoo threaded over that principle the week before uni started. He worked at the old summer camp and a letter came during the closing week. 

“To Sunwoo”, nothing else. Curiosity took the best of him and he opened the letter to see “From Y/n'' at the end of a massive paragraph. 

The universe got him this time, he admits. In how many positions has he reread the letter and dreamt of the yellow filtered summer from when he was thirteen. In truth he reminiscenced about you those summer’s after. Once reaching adulthood, he realized there was no point in yearning, it’s been years. But this late season has turned into the car ride home from that camp, still with you in vision, so close but not here.

At this point ‘Y/n’ feels like a mere fragment of his imagination; therefore he wont tell. Keep your name from any seekers and contemplate. 

After laughter; Eric plummets to the bed and looks up at the ceiling, feeling Sunwoo’s legs at his elbow. 

“I just don’t understand why she can’t talk to me.” He murmurs. 

“Did anything happen?” 

Only Juyeon knows about the letter Eric received from his best friend. A confession he has longed for since he lived in his castle (big house), but never would be granted. 

Eric thought their connection was stronger than this. Why did you send it if you weren't seeking answers? Why now, this place at this time? 

He has traced every curve of your letters; stared at facebook and mail box. Even the refrigerator at night for answers. 

Though everything the roommates did this summer; Eric can’t tell him, not yet. It’s the luminous memories coming to his ruins. Sunwoo is his presence. 

Silent melancholia climbs above the horizon together with the bleeding sun at the football field. Lines of the goals, rigid and angular, separate the pink-orange growing fragments. Breeze from east colds your heated heart while waiting on the bleachers for Hyunjae. 

You were forced to wake up; not following the united routine of the dormitory when he needed help for a training pass at dawn. But he’s not in sight. 

Half asleep leaning on the backpack, center of your lap; waiting for something holy to run past. 

World’s colors fade into abstraction behind the pupil and a small figure crosses the field. You don’t notice how it leaves the red tracks, closer to the bleachers. Same breeze that touched you passes through its shirt and by mere coincidence. He turns his head opposite from the sunrise and sees you lone illuminated. 

Sunwoo recognises the person despite different clothing. There’s an unconscious underlying characteristic in posture. Sunwoo has been entranced by his own world, but he did think a lot of the pretty girl who fell drunk out of the entrance at Jeno’s party. 

Slowly his feet take him further from the white lines. 

“You’re okay?” His voice tears the plaster away from your vision. 

To look up from the bleacher, a ruler higher than the green grass, they make eye contact. It takes a pattern of blinking but at last you speak. 

“What?” 

“I saw you at the party last Friday, I just wonder if you’re okay?” He repeats. 

A sort of second hand deja vu like nausea, spreads from the visual, coming back. Forces the parallel expression to the feeling, down and instead scratches your head. 

“Oh.” Eyes widen, “Yeah, I’m okay now, thanks.” 

Solitude pushes down into the field with the next breeze. The two of them linger in the same place though the conversation seemed to have ended long ago. You who tie eyes on the far tower of the male dormitory, look back towards him. He stands with barely knit eyebrows, two meters away. It’s not an uncomfortable stare whatsoever, rather curious as the sun rising above the world. 

You smile, “You’re trying to place me…” 

Trying destiny runs through him but nonetheless he’s taken by the sudden realization. You see how the expression unravels and a single shooting star passes the brown coloration of his left eye. 

“You’re Y/n; Y/n from summer camp?” 

You don't react as quickly and are now left blaring into the past and present and the same time. 

“We went kayaking together, don’t you remember?” He points at himself, “I’m Sunwoo.” 

The star falls in east and transcends pink orange shine throughout the campus. For a second; you would have fallen from first row down the grass field with knees bruised of embarrassment, but just in time, you realized that the address written on the letter wasn’t his, just the camp. 

“Sunwoo?” Your posture folds higher to come into view with his own. Truly there’s exciting nostalgia within. 

“I didn’t know you went here.” You say slowly. 

“Me neither.” Sunwoo laughs. 

While in awe over the struck of fate; eyes momentarily drift to the right. Another shadow cuts through the horizon and appears closer while jogging across the field. All light still shines in your eyes while standing up. They come in equal footing and quietly watch each other. He looks over behind and sees Hyunjae. Sunwoo doesn’t quite feel like leaving yet; wished they were stored a moment longer. 

His arms just barely lifts off his sides to embrace you, but the sharp sequence of Hyunjae and you strikes him at the spinal cord. Not wanting to disrupt your relationship again. 

You’re left with wide eyes as Sunwoo runs off the direction he appeared from. 

“Bye Y/n, see you around!” 

It all just played as if at two times speed. One hand lifts to wave from your side of the world while the last strands disappear beyond the goals. 

By peripheral vision, Hyunjae traces Sunwoo. Once more, there’s a torturous sensation growing between marrow bone and heart. When you look his way he feels your eyes held down on him only. 

“You never take water with you, Ice God.” 

While still a meter across, you throw the water bottle to him and he captures it perfectly. Hyunjae looks up with eye-framed windows like staring at the sun. 

“You’re close with Sunwoo?” 

Your bag falls to the ground, “We went to summer camp together, I didn’t know he studied here.” 

Briefly nod while his bag too comes down the grass. You lucid leaning onto the bleachers again–until Hyunjae starts sprinting in one place. The end strands of his hair in parallel motions and his child-like smile shine between the pauses. 

“Let’s run.” He says. 

“I have a volleyball match later.” Back falls to the second and third row as you complain. 

He laughs and takes your wrist, “Running helps with stress.” 

White ribbons knitted along the green corners; they jog the red track field and do a few rounds. Each passage closest to the bleachers you see the shadows diagonally downgrade across the seats. 

Despite having their lungs barely reaching air; Hyunjae persists in conversation. It presses from Earth towards your upper body as you unconsciously choose words before steps. But Hyunjae too seems incredibly out of breath for someone that trains as much as he does. 

You won’t admit it just yet–if ever–that his company is actually enjoyable. 

He lingers across the sport’s center until the shift has ended, and talks to you in insignificant states. In one way; your long shadow at the end of your feet feels guilty. An idea of a self serving dude with too much attention. In truth; he laughs a lot. 

“When’s the game?” Hyunjae asks as their feet come out of synch. 

They stand still catching breath. 

“At three.” You sigh and start walking to the bleachers. 

“Then, I’ll skip this lesson.” Hyunjae stands next to you. 

He takes out the water bottle you gifted him. Presence from your side lingers on him as he drinks, and he raises his eyebrows at the long look. 

“You don’t have to come though.” The lines above eyes cross in a slight perplexed X. 

“You were at my game last time, I should come to.” Hyunjae smiles gently. 

( tuesday, afternoon )

“Need to go to the toilet; nervousness makes me pee.” 

‘21’ in bold font disappears behind the bended wall. You direct towards people in fitted shirts as patterns before the teal walls.

It’s not usual for you to be nervous before games; nor to be completely absorbed by else’s. Now you’re unconventionally a bit more dreamy. The halo in your eyes, up at the sky and shoulder’s slack as if moon-touched. Your teammates pointed it out too when you didn’t answer after ‘Y/n!’. 

Sunwoo reentered your life this morning. The boy that had caused such a heartbreak it was unbelievable. And despite your time changes, you found yourself counting the star constellations he told you that summer. 

This sort of unending chase starts again, that the letters dated to the old camp will find its way to him. Like a foolish child's secret. 

You also wonder why Hyunjae was so persistent on going to your match. One could thread through the interactions and guess he’s become comfortable in your life too. But there’s a brief self reflection. You neither rejected him to come or encouraged. Maybe you want someone up on the bleachers shouting your name, even if it’s not Eric. 

Wooden floor reflects the studio lights like water. Eyes wanders immediately from teammates up to the bleachers. Blue plastic seats on row, to the very windows where it barely collides with the roof. There’s a few silhouettes in groups up on the high rows. Everyone waving their hands to someone, not you. 

When you see number 21 stop before the white line and bring her arm high up to one standing; you suddenly regret not messaging Eric. Though, just as fast; he maybe wouldn’t even have showed up? 

One loud whistle comes from the left; your head directs off the green line tracing vertically. Sees teammates reach their hand out for you to the ring building at the side of the rectangular room. On the opposite, mirrors like theirs in green shirts, they gather.

Thin water like bubbles trace down the narrow row from your temples. All these bubbles that have accumulated beneath the shirt, down knees and threading your throat like a transparent necklace. 

Once the last whistle soars across ceiling; you return to the corner of teammates. Someone touches your arm while running for water; a teammate smiles sincerely but exhausted. 

When shoes are in line with the white painted diagonal; your name chants above all noise. From the floor, your eyes see Hyunjae coming down the blue seats. You aren’t able to reiterate his name before arms of his own wrap around shoulders. 

The invincible spot of cologne sits beneath his shoulder blade. Evoking gently as your chin, supported by the broad shoulder. You hesitantly hug him back and try to look at his face but only reaches his ear. 

Suddenly you feel a bit insecure. 

“I’m really sweaty, Hyunjae.” You laugh awkwardly. 

“Yeah,” His hands retrites without walking back. 

Lips curve to gentle his face and the eyes like porcelain. 

“, and it fits you.” 

A strand falls before your eyes; tucked in by his hands like a dove’s wing. 

Once the match heat flush red, another round of pigment paints your cheeks. There’s no hinder above your eyes left, but still you shake your head and cough; all while Hyunjae still smiles. 

“Thank you, Jaehyun.” 

His expression, more blinding than the long lights above. It’s impossible to not curl up before. You have a certain love for looking away when adoration blooms like spring season on him. Somehow you seemed to have missed when he came to the bleachers too. 

It’s quiet, but Hyunjae still feels like hearing your voice. 

He starts, “You did grea-”

“Y/n!” 

A voice so deeply teared apart and assembled within your mind, that it exists stored in the furthest corners. There’s a certain nerve created just to react to that tone fall, you believe. 

With eyes widened and fingers loosen from each other; you pierce towards the blue door. People still run past your double vision, but for a second the world stopped. 

Eric stands with hands in the blue frame. The universe must’ve heard that wish you prayed before, and in some way, full of relief and exhaustion, you’re happy it did. Eric is visually as hesitant as you, bearing fear and soft in heart pulses. 

“Sorry, Hyunjae, it’s something important.” You jog up to the double door determined. With one last glance to the bleachers, “See you later! …Thanks for coming!” 

Confinement exists excruciating; you hoped it was just the sunbleached walls with square hole windows that trapped them. But not even the open atmosphere, heaven to the infinite universe could save them from what’s been left unsaid. 

Eric asked while passing doors “I have messaged you for two weeks, why didn’t you answer?”. You could only look at him for a second before turning to the open field. His expression begs of confusion, but truly you think he knows why. 

It’s silent. Wind from east campus brushes between the grass. You become the only thing stagnant along the heavy constructions weighing down on Earth as Eric walks up the bleachers. Blue faded denim pockets console his hands as he holds sight on his converse before white plastic. 

“You didn’t even tell me you had a game today.” He refuses to make eye contact. 

Head falls low; everythings to remind you that guilt is the heaviest matter on Earth. 

Theoretically, it’s supposed to be useless feeling alone or unloved with a person like Eric. Sometimes you catch yourself staring in mirrors to search for another pair of eyes. But it’s hard to be miserable when Eric’s been a phone call away. 

It was lonely without you, but I pushed you away. 

“I’m sorry.” You finally say. 

It’s the only thing you get out as you walk up the bleachers. Together on the second row; they watch the green grass and its maroon building boxes. A mellow sun on the edge of disappearing while the land continues flat forever. A wind of different temperature while the concrete still radiates warmth. 

“I’m sorry for ignoring you Eric.” You speak again. 

Their shoes in different font over the white row; you look at them before his side appears in the same position as you. They make eye contact in what feels timeless and it trips on your heart. 

“I was-” 

“It’s oka-” 

There’s silence as they stare at each other; anticipating the other. Though the ink period of the passage becomes laughter as their shoulders collide like the southern and north pole. It ends up being Eric who speaks. 

“You’re forgiven.” He smiles and Earth sighs of relief with you. 

The two poles of their angular edge bind them gently. North and south diasporas sit in silence, whispers of the flat city come from all directions and it smells like grass or nothing in particular. 

A closed connection where everything flows freely without hinder; you had nearly forgotten about that feeling. 

Courage drapes whatever embarrassment was left in you. To breathe in before honest confession. That you love him deeply still, though any romanticized visions are of the past. 

As you think of it; a part of the old self frees and runs with you back towards the grass field. 

“I actually like you too, Y/n.” 

It hitches in your throat. 

“You don’t have to answer yet.” His smile reeks of cotton candy, and the hand on her shoulder before he leaves radiates in puddles like theme parks. 

“I’ll wait for you, princess!” Eric shouts with his hand in his pockets before turning his back. The same nickname he’s called you since seven, never understanding why. 

The stark contour of the real world fades as he disappears towards the dormitory until he’s just a mere dot. 

It’s still warm, but summer has made one privileged. You feel like wearing a jacket as your old self now takes the empty space beside. 

05 . CHAPTER FIVE 

( thursday, afternoon )

Ji Changmin has never been great at sport, and that’s never with a big N. Last night the breaking news of a 2 day beach party got delivered by the infamous friend group, and of course, everyone would be playing the mandatory volleyball games. 

Changmin took his backpack and ran, hoping Eric would be too busy arguing with someone else to notice the empty chair. But at last, Changmin walked up the dormitory corridor with Eric hanging from his left calf like chained. Desperately begging that it wouldn’t be the same if everyone doesn’t come. 

One thing led to the other and every dorm heard a passing march of footsteps to the other end. Changmin was running after Eric whilst he screamed of absolute terror (traumatized from the year before when changmin chased him down the campus, drunk). In a last attempt of escape; Eric jumped Juyeon’s room and made a borderline olympic leep down the bedding before Juyeon processed the door had been opened. 

Like the unofficial therapist he is; Juyeon told Changmin he has a friend in the volleyball team that can teach him this afternoon so as to not embarrass himself completely. 

And that’s how you stand in the same hall; wide eyed and chills growing like rose stems it might strangle you. Though, you could’ve been more embarrassed as Changmin looks about the same. 

With an aggressive tilt to your shoulder while eyelids reach your eyebrows; a firm stare directed at Juyeon. Quietly it signals “what the fuck didn’t you tell me it was Changmin?!”. 

He doesn’t get it. 

“...and he’s really bad.” Juyeon ends while smiling. 

“I’m not that bad.” Changmin side eyes the taller one; also in search for some backup. 

“Yes, you are silly.” His eyes crease in turn with the ends of his lips. From the right side, his hands come up to ruffle the sprout of Changmin’s head. 

All three compiled the net up. You had no interest in bringing up the letter for either Changmin or Juyeon; therefore you rigid and pale served the first shot. 

But thankful for Juyeon’s excitement and obliviousness (surprising) to the reunion he just set up; the tension wore off Changmin’s shoulder and your pigments returned. 

All would rotate between the two sides of the net. You would purse lips to a thin line and turn the plastic of your shoes on the hard floor before running up to Changmin to show him how to serve. At first you stood a little less than a meter behind him; shoved gestures in the air to somehow manipulate his own body to do the same movements. But at last you went up to him, held his hand like gentle rain. 

There was not a bruise or patterns of shades on his palms. Either he’s absolutely addicted to hand cream or those text books of his must enchant his skin while turning pages. 

Changmin felt fragile like all ancient history when you showed him. He tried to be quiet, shyly only talking to Juyeon, but couldn’t help but let out shrieks every time he missed or won. It was just like board games at the dinner table when their parents whispered in the other room. 

You suddenly shout, “Move!” 

Juyeon’s on the opposite side of the two and forced the ball up to the roof with neck breaking power. 

You see how Changmin doesn’t; instead glued to the floor with knees rigid and his hands come up in chest length as if it will save him. You desperately swing your shoulder to the right, but all actions are in vain when their foreheads collide. Force acts up on them and leads them to the ground. Swear it was visible stars circling both heads. 

As the collision wears off and presence hits you as a second impact; terrified you watch Changmin between own two arms down the floor. Legs have his stomach tied to the flooring; 

where in all directions you are. And when they both blushes of embarrassment; Changmin’s hands come a little higher up his chest. 

“You’re supposed to chase the ball.” You stutter and hastily push up from him but miserably fails as the clothing material slips on the floor. 

“I’m sorry-” 

Changmin, just as terrified, apologizes while pushing himself off the floor. One way and two directions; they shut their eyes painfully as the point between their eyebrows hit each other again. One step further down his stomach.

“You didn’t even tell me we had started.” Changmin complains and holds his forehead, looking at Juyeon who climbs under the net. 

You slide off him; knees supporting any weight while at the end of his calves. Great silence from the tunnel system in the high ceiling expands over the yellow walls. It scratches in their throats that you cough. It was enough to crack the tension layered like a glass dome. 

“I don’t feel the same, Y/n.” Changmin sits up. 

“Yeah, I know.” You sigh because you know what he means without asking. Fingers left racing the floor.

“Old story; you were not supposed to get it, I’m sorry.” Guiltily purse lips in, “Also, sorry for falling on you.” 

Suddenly gentle, his legs come over in crisscross and he leans closer to your figure. 

“Yeah…it’s fine.” He confirms in same tone, “Though, I appreciate it. The letter.” 

He pauses. 

“...I had no idea.” Changmin admits.

You laugh, “Really? I was super obvious.” 

“You think so?” He skeptically smiles. 

To bring your arms to an imaginable table and articulate, “I literally held my arms over the textbooks to lean over to you..” 

“I just thought you were a bad listener.” Changmin smiles, bothered, like he always does.  

They both laugh. 

Another shine made by the sun outside draws with a ruler down the yellow wall. It has an angular cut in where it has a darker wooden frame just above the floor. Like the highlight is a window to the midsummers of one’s childhood; you dare to hold eyes open and watch. 

They used to sit at the dining table where the pattern cloth folds at your knees. Because you were way too shy to invite him behind your room door. Sometimes, laughs loud enough for them to hear came from the living room where both their mom’s sat. Mostly they whispered; never understood why. 

When they were younger, he was mostly intimidating. So much taller and just his glasses felt like a sign of great intelligence. But truly his personality held some sort of shine you believed was a leftover from some ancient spell along the yellow fields. 

With their families having dinner sometimes; the two of them used to play board or card games late into the afternoon when the adults still sat along the dinner table. You didn’t want to invite your brother when you finally had time to talk to Changmin without it being about math, but he was way too nice to leave him out. 

“Is your cat good?” Changmin asks suddenly, “Or is he dead?” He knits his eyebrows. 

“Yeah, he’s dead.” Smiles and thinks of how Scuba Steve, in his orange white complexion used to jump into Changmin’s lap while he was tutoring. And when he talked to him so sweetly and petted him along the long fur; her teenage self used to dream about their future (delusion). 

“It feels like he liked everyone more than me.” You admit while leaning into your palm. 

“I’m sure he liked you too.” He laughs. 

“Are you going to the beach party?” Changmin suddenly asks, “You’re close with Eric, right?” He knits his eyebrows, “Aren’t you together with Jaehyun too?” 

“No, no, no, I’m not with Jaehyun.” You fall back to the floor and hands melt down your face. 

“Don’t tell him I said that though.” You add, “But no, I’m not going.” 

“Why not?” 

Visions from the past weeks pass like a bad trailer and you close your eyes. Sunwoo and Eric run across the field in a sort of evangelical light and Hyunjae in the far corner.

You sort of lie, “It’s complicated. I don’t want to meet Eric.” 

Changmin stands up, “I’m only going if you do.” 

“Don’t do this.” You complain. 

“No, whatever’s going on, we’re fixing it now.” He takes your shoulder and forces you up. You whine again and try to make the weight fall back to Earth. 

“I’m fighting volleyball and you’re fighting Eric, great!” He cheers.

There was a lot more than Eric you had to fight this weekend. 

The ball goes flying in their direction again. It lands on Changmin’s head and forces his glasses to the floor. They both look to the right and see Juyeon stand awkwardly upright, hands hanging like leaves as he longs for the ball. 

“I missed.” He deadpan. 

You take the ball and look at Changmin. He smiles knowingly before you both rush at Juyeon. 

( friday, morning )

“Do you want some?” 

Your head turns to the right where the sun shines through the glass brighter. It ceases through the back of his loose strands like the tree crowns from summer camp. 

When you came down to the bus station, Changmin waved at you from a stack of backpacks piled like a mountain. Juyeon stood slightly behind and followed the shoerter’s movements. You asked them if they plan on moving with that; Changmin answered it was Juyeon’s and Eric’s bags. He had–while straightening his posture–just taken the necessary. 

When all had arrived, you got a third row seat at the back beside Sunwoo. You had met again on campus. It turned out between all those words that both were going to the party this weekend. You mentioned how you’re mainly here as Changmin’s emotional support.

Sunwoo– a little horrified– told you he’ll have eyes in the back of his neck for this trip. Hyunjae, Eric or anyone else for that matter could come up from behind and throw hsi poor body in the water. With both in desperate situations, they jokingly built a pact to have each other’s back on this trip. 

So when you sit beside Sunwoo, and look down the space created against the armrest where he reaches out a pink package. He shakes it and you smile before taking a hand off the backpack. 

“You stole my pocky?” 

Tearing away from that space; they look behind the red seat to see Eric leaned over the two. He pierces down at Sunwoo with a dumbfounded O of his lips and starts pointing at the roots of Sunwoo’s hair which he ducks away from. 

“I didn’t steal it.” He defends. 

“It’s mine, I bought it this morning.” Eric looks at you, begging for sympathy, “Now I have no snacks.” 

“You said you weren’t going to eat them.” Sunwoo hides them. 

“They’re mine!” Eric hangs down the seat. Immediately you take the edge of his sleeve as if he’ll fall on you. 

“You’re gonna eat them now?” Sunwoo taunts, “Take the jelly grapes.” He throws out a plastic package from his bag while still chewing. 

“Let’s split it.” Eric deadpans while holding out his palm. 

“I’ll buy you one later.” Sunwoo repeat. 

Eric laughs from above, “You literally just asked Y/n!” He points. 

Sunwoo gets quiet for a second; looks up et Eric, before back at Y/n. 

“Can’t you just eat the grapes?” He shakes the package up in Eric’s face. 

Feet fall back to the floor, the row behind them and Eric, still dumbfounded, points at Sunwoo while stunned searches for assent in you. 

“He’s shameless.” Eric sits down. 

Where the dense complexes only ends when shore starts, the bus ride isn’t long. Despite constant traffic, conversations over the unconscious roaring of the bus engine; you resisted the falling weight of eyelids but at last, gave in. The last minutes when blue hues start to form between the windows and houses lined up against the sand. Head falls onto Sunwoo’s shoulder. 

Changes surprises him, but just as immediately he gently falls back into his seat and your head comes between his neck like the last piece of a 100 puzzle. How could he describe the violent but gentle flutter that grows from a part in his chest and blooms into all directions. And when each stem leaves its youth and creates rosen petals at his fingertips; the playlist in his headphones changes song. 

A melody of 80s slow paced rhythm and a voice soft like silk; lies over the muted woven chorals and yellow of the beach houses. Tiny flowers in perfect composition, like a trail across each street and when he sees the roof of the largest beach houses, just below the shore; Sunwoo wishes the bus would take one more round. 

He dares to look down.  He has seen this image before. All those movie nights in the dining room at summer camp evening. When he rushed to take the seat beside you before anyone else. And towards the end of the long hour you couldn’t keep your eyes open and leaned just like now, on his shoulder. It’s been so long but it doesn’t feel like a season has passed since that summer when he sees your hand lightly touching his own. 

“You need sunscreen, Jaehyun!” You wave the blue plastic tube while slipping down the sand. Hyunjae looks over his shoulder, smirking questionably to her while you come closer. 

“You’ll get skin cancer.” You squint when the blue sky shines behind him. 

“You do it then.” He smiles. 

Holding hands above your eyes, hoping it’ll cease all rosen blushes, “I’m not your mom.” 

“Please, Y/n.” He shakes your forearms, pouting. At first your own hands come up to his chest to force him off, but retrites like touching a hot stove as he’s shirtless. 

“Okay, okay.”

Overarching sand, up to the wooden porch, frees from the rest when they walk up. Hyunjae quickly takes the lead when he jumps up on fixed ground and takes a seat on the edge of the porch. How he wiggle his legs like an excited child while smiling so brightly; you didn’t know he could. You fall to knees behind him and awkwardly look over his hair. 

“Can’t you just do it yourself?” Sun highlights his skin from above. The sharp points of his shoulders, down to his arms, seem soothing against the sharp sand. That specific smell of sunscreen, so deeply ingrained into summer, trace along the porch. Your palm hesitantly moves back and forth between the flexed spot of his shoulder. 

“Just do it, Angel.” Hyunjae looks back at you encouragingly, but you quickly lie the cold sunscreen on his skin to divert him. In the clear summer sun spotlight, your cheeks luminates of struck pink. 

“Ah, it’s cold.” Hyunjae’s shoulder rises up and you continue soothing it in one hand. 

“Don’t complain.” You try to sound normal. 

They got along more than you originally thought. Hesitant to calling people friends, but you guess that's what they are. Though, friends shouldn’t blush of nervousness from innocent touch, right? Especially when Hyunjae leans back further into your hand, and you wonder if it’s wrong. 

At the same time; Eric peeks from the doors to the beach house. He tries to convince himself he’s longingly looking at the open shore, but it’s merely a background to Hyunjae and you.

It’s not that you’re lying, he thinks. You looked more than authentic that day, he asked if they were together and you denied. It’s not a competition, but still he feels a burn coming from another direction than the sun when your hands go to his neck and Hyunjae laughs from tickling. 

“Y/n!” 

You turn from Hyunjae and see Eric coming closer. All that in one motion, you forgot about the painfully obvious red of your face. It isn’t until Eric’s eyes widens and he falls in height to take your left cheek. 

“You’ve burned yourself, Y/n.” Eric traces with his thumb the rose colors of your essence and  to feel it coming off your skin, embarrassingly paint your soul. At this point,  nervousness would leak out from your skin, but by Eric’s and Hyunjae’s wide eyes and open mouths; they’re completely oblivious to their work. 

“N-” Stuttering out the beginning of a no; you stop suddenly as there’s no good excuse for the color. 

“Let me help you.” Hyunjae reaches for the tube down the wood and you immediately try back from Eric’s gentle palms. 

“No, no, no, it’s just heat.” 

“Water.” Eric wants to get you on foot, take you to the kitchen. 

“You need a cold bath.” Hyunjae says quickly after and without looking at Eric takes you in bridal style. Hand lets go of Eric’s and he’s left standing as you in panic tries to convince Hyunjae to turn away from shore. Hyunjae laughs while shouting that you’ll overheat.

It’s a dark seemingly normal, but guilty jealousy Eric watches the older one throw his best friend down the water. You’re quick on your feet again, and start chasing Hyunjae further down. Laughs come from that side while Eric tears his eyes off the new waves; clench his fist because frustration might visibly leak out his skin, and turn back to the house to take his mind off. 

It was only a limited amount of sups, you shared one with Changmin. They had agreed to alt the paddle in interval, but it was you who ended up dragging them both along the surface while Chnagmin sat behind, criticizing the solo sups. 

His victim was mainly Juyeon who traversed the first ocean layer for a good minute playing God until he lost balance. The entire group laughed while he tried to climb up. At the same time Sunwoo laughed so hard he was second to fall in. 

Changmin did well, all things considered, when it was beach volleyball. Juyeon and you cheered on him. That brought him enough confidence to stand at the front. Which wasn’t his greatest moment as he fell head first into the net. 

Sun’s, fleetly asleep above the horizon. All those hours of shine still left like a memory in the sand while four of them still play, the rest swimming, taken a seat with the group who grills or in the house. Laughter with the waves collide, creating a divide of foam. Breeze ensues their hearts. 

It smells of garlic smoked marinade from behind once the ball comes over again. Though at first refusing to go, you’re still thankful for Changmin who desperately forced a game over either way. 

Soon there’s food and you sit on the porch once again. Sunset like a filter over the shore and its houses, maybe the heart too. 

“I have some for you.” 

You look up at who you thought was Eric, with a brightly printed paper plate, gathered of the same choices since childhood. But you blink once, realize it’s Sunwoo. He takes the space beside where only vague music accompanied earlier. 

“Oh, thank you, Sunwoo.” You smile and take the second plate. 

“No worries.” He bends down to eat a bite of his own food. 

A scenery in fleeting composition, scattered of dust passes through the peripheral. 

“I remember you used to take food to me back then too.” Unconscious of the tender light you hold while tracing the oil leaking across plastic shine. 

“Yeah,” He looks at his chicken, “Cause you were always busy sorting stones.” 

You scoff, “Why? You’re judging my hobbies?” 

“No,” He answer truthfully, “It was cute.” 

“My stones?” You tilt. 

“You.” 

Sunwoo’s voice is monotone like it wasn’t supposed to blemish your heart like the orange and dark blue sky divide. The bones across your shoulders and hover over chest convulse in like wings of the delighting butterflies. 

Sunwoo looks up from the food, “I don’t really remember how your stones looked.” 

You smile and take a bite, “I guess that’s why I married you back then.” 

Still confined between your own frame to prevent any sheer wings of escape; you miss how his ears perked up together with his horrible posture. Him in his sharp complexion becomes adorably curious. 

“You remember that?” He says surprised. 

“Of course.” She says as if it’s obvious. Sunwoo looks down at the sand as if to see the smitten reflection of his face in them. 

“I actually didn’t think you’d remember.” He says quietly. 

Another song on the playlist comes on and a group of people rush beside them. Jumping off the porch; their silhouettes darken in pink contrast as water evaporates on their burnt arms. 

Sunwoo dares to look to your side; still eating and it further reminds him of times in circles when they sat next to each other. Something absurd with seeing you again like this. For some nameless reason you have lived all these years as a little girl in his memories, constantly visiting when summer’s approaching. Now you're here, finally at the same age. 

He knows he shouldn’t advance, shouldn’t take a step closer on the porch. Since behind him just some meters further, Hyunjae sits. How adoringly he thinks of Hyunjae because he has you unconditionally by one side. 

“I remember you told me about the stars.” You suddenly say. 

Sunwoo looks at you then the skies, vaguely guilty that there's nothing's left to see yet.

He smiles,  “Damn, I can’t see them, otherwise I would’ve told you about them again.”

You hold head tilted at his side while his eyes still squint for a light away to hit them, “You can show me later.” 

 You don't know what has crawled into you lately, but it’s dependent and has zero abstinence. 

As if the hangover from last week wasn’t enough to convince you; you’re drunk once again (this time in the kitchen). Juyeon worriedly came over, asking if you’re always this bad with alcohol. In turn you took his shoulders dramatically and said no, shaking him. 

And you weren't the only one. In the same vein, at another window by the house; Eric found Sunwoo staring dead into the reflection. When asked what he was doing, Sunwoo simply replied he’s staring at bird shit and laughing like it was the funniest thing. 

Most people are still outside. Fairy lights might look like fireflies in this state as it cradles lightly from night weather. As people cross the sand it changes patterns. It lays a plastic cup further away which Eric runs to pick up. You don't know what song is playing when the high frame expands as walls in all directions, but you think it’s good. 

“Can you dance?” You look at Sunwoo. He turns confusingly with bad posture from the bird shit. An awkward beat drop passage muffled by the walls takes the silence. 

Suddenly you jump up to him in another rhythm than the beat. Smiles wholeheartedly while waving arms.

“I can’t.” You answer your own questions and do a spin. 

Sunwoo’s hangs down its sides like towels over the branches. You reflect in highlights by his porcelain eyes. He must look extremely out of it as the pupils can’t concentrate on the shifting lights and his amused smile. But you couldn’t tell. 

You force his tired arms up in an awkward rocking-back-and-forth swing. He laughs that his teeth show when you start complaining how he’s stiffer than the expensive couch behind them. 

“Let’s tango.” You take his arms and they start circling around the room with either hand on their shoulders and next in each other’s clasp, straight forward. Sunwoo’s laugh overpowers the music as they nearly collide with the couch. Through the window frame they must look like a middle school couple. 

And as if galactic alignment was truly divine; the next song on the playlist slows to a vintage soundtrack as if from an old romcom. They’re still laughing when the circles haste and all weight stills on the carpet lining. 

They’re so drunk, Sunwoo can’t hold himself when your face comes so close. 

“You know…” He starts. 

“No.” You deadpan.

“Don’t speak.” Sunwoo complains and you fall one step backwards from laughing. 

“You know, we’ve reached our 11th marriage anniversary.” He smiles drunkenly, “I think I deserve a kiss for surviving our long distance.” 

“You haven’t even shown me the stars yet.” You whine and curl his hand in a weird way. 

“I know, I know.” He screws his eyes, it looks like it hurts.

“Just give me a kiss and we’ll go outside.” He purses his lips out. 

“Can you even name the constellations still?” You knit your eyes. 

“Of course, there’s Little bear.” Sunwoo points at your nose. You contract your head and watch his finger tip with big eyes. 

“I’m actually a Capricorn.” 

Sunwoo’s lips curve harder as his head falls between the space created from their chests. You watch the root pattern of his hair before he comes up again. 

“You’re really cute.” He smiles. 

You can’t help clasp his hands and twine fingers even harder, “Really?” 

He nods that his fringe follows. 

“Am I cute too?” Sunwoo asks, leaning in.

You think, rolling your eyes slowly, “No.” 

He pouts with big eyes. 

“Again,” He flicks your nose lightly. 

“Me or the flowers?” Sunwoo points at a vase beside the couch. You turn over your shoulder to see the arrangement of pink blemishes with white roots. 

You pretend to think, “Hmm.” 

There’s a anticipation like a butterfly on the last leaf, flickering its sheer patterned wings before taking off. Just like that, it pulses of thousand wings in both your hearts. All as Sunwoo lean in closer. Fingers laced through the other like silk and he pulls you closer by them. When the heat accumulated in the chests collide, with your lips merely touching his own. The tension weighs heavy, it might impend on the room. 

The door from the kitchen beside them forces open. 

Both Sunwoo and you loosen the lace and throw yourself onto the couch. A painful thud erupts from the back rest when Sunwoo crashes nape first. Your condition is in dangerous state, therefore you land about 10 centimeters too short and glide off the couch to the floor. 

When the outer door closes and Eric passes by the frame, he sees Sunwoo decked out; arms hanging lifelessly and his mouth opened, supported by the backrest. 

The cup in his hand nearly topples over when he rushes to stand it on any flat surface. It pulses through the floor when Eric comes down to you. A cold hand from all the ice soothes your forehead and you look up to see Eric’s fringe like a sheer curtain before his eyes. 

“You’re okay?” He asks worriedly, “How much have you drunk?” 

Eric takes your arm and scolds you gently. As you stand up you incoherently try to defend yourself, but quit abruptly as Sunwoo comes into the story. 

Eric guided you up to the bedroom’s at second floor, leaving Sunwoo to die. 

“Eric?” You lie down. 

“Mm?” He flatten out the sheet above you. 

“I forgot.” 

Eric snorts, “Really?” 

“Mm.” You insist. 

Two essence divided between the mattress line in the mit; still staring at the same ceiling. Eric never leaves your side; instead insists on talking about nothing and everything while time wraps in a 4th dimension of one's mind until you can’t rhetorically answer “Mm?”. 

Eric finally ceases to babble when shifting his head to your side. The pillows bud like a flower on his cheek when his body completely draws to your field. He knows you will probably feel like shit tomorrow morning, but for now you lie neatly above the creases like white flower of a heaven’s cross field. 

The incredible magnetic field of your essence seems to draw in more admirers than just himself, Eric understands. He barely convinces himself that the letter is an eventual sign of their destined love, but just barely. 

I can’t know who you dream about as you sleep soundly right now, he thinks while admiring. A face or two flashes before him and Eric sits up. Quietly look at the framed picture on the wall before back down at you. 

For now, he’s in denial. 

Eric takes one hand off your side to lay on your stomach. His bare fingertips dare to soothe out nothing’s on the cheek just to feel your warmth. He hesitates for a second, but before fully walking off the bed and closing the door; he bends down to kiss your cheek, just gently. 

06 . CHAPTER SIX 

( monday, midday )

The day has finally come–or not come as in an anticipated date set in stone from the past–rather Hyunjae woke up and felt courage. The last weeks they’ve seen each other nearly every afternoon, and for each time he imagines himself having persuaded you a little closer. And the last beach party seems to have been the silver lining for his confidence to finally confess how he feels. 

This afternoon they will meet on the track field for some regular training, but what you don't know is that he will be asking you to be his girlfriend, seriously this time. 

Though, between the lecture times, staring at strangers from the row tables; he consciously realized he doesn’t quite know what you like. Or of course, he knows you like astrology, biology, cat’s, exercising but just enough that you can walk guilt free home to the bed. That you always walk around with a first aid kit, and like a mother bandage burnt skin or wrecked ankles. 

But none of that is of use when your heart is supposed to flutter at his mere sight this afternoon. 

So at a table in the cafeteria; Hyunjae takes the opposite chair of a round table where Eric sits alone. Enticed in his own world; he jumps when the chair creaks of his weight. 

Hyunjae figured it was just to ask Eric, your best friend for advice. The older may stand a ruler inferior in emotion to Eric than Juyeon, but nonetheless they have spent many house parties together, jumping off the high roof or throwing pillows at the third. 

Eric always looks at him with a smile, nearly identical to his own. But right now, the red blisters' contours wave lower than what it usually does. His eyes adverts between the sad glass divide over the sandwiches and Hyunjae. But the older forces it in an identical manner to the left. 

Eric nonchalantly told him he doesn’t know what you would romantically like from him. Hyunjae complained saying he should know since they’re best friends, but Eric reiterates his line, “Yeah, just friends.” 

Hyunjae doesn’t cease from the chair, neither his voice. Eric looks at the sandwiches again and guilty bruises his fingers underneath the table. In Eric’s eyes; Hyunjae could win over anyone by just slowly articulate every crook of their name. 

It’s not to admit that he’s threatened, Eric thinks. To rationalize the frustration he theorize Hyunjae hasn’t taken enough of a time to get to know you. 

Eric’s never been evil. His moral compass holds him on the sane lane; even when emotions begs to pull the other way. But right now, while in silence, the magnetic field of the Earth pulls on the arrows. 

“Okay.” Eric puts down the drink. Hyunjae leans in attentively. 

“She wants a big, HUUGE confession. You know, those in rom coms where the guy comes out with a huge boombox and gives her flowers and has a big sign.” Eric takes his arms up in the, above his chest in height with his hair. To visually stun him he waves his hands down like confetti and shakes a hypothetical boombox. All while Hyunjae’s expression all visually gets more nervous.

“Okay.” He walks up without looking at Eric. Head deep down the floor as if thinking. 

( monday, afternoon )

The white streaks wrapped as a present lining across the field is the same as every time he walks past. But even when the scenery is familiar to his conscious, the heart anxiously breathes in quick patterns. It causes invincible scratches at the inner side of his hands while his eyes can’t hold a scene for longer than a second. There’s a couple walking past the fields down the west campus; Hyunjae’s head follows them until their backs are a mere blemish along the sidewalk. 

With his hand tightly knitted behind his back he looks at the grass growing up from under his shoes. Suddenly he looks up again. 

Like the world just ended; the sun’s growing, tearing all the accessible and it rounds the golden halo. You’re just left in trance watching how it all beautifully collapses. That’s what your presence does to his troubled heart when your upper body comes up the staircase. 

You wave with your free hand as you see him at the center of the rectangular land. Hyunjae doesn’t mirror it, instead refuses to change any position. You tilt your head in wonder for a moment, but nonetheless carry on towards his figure, until there’s just a meter across. 

“Hi, Jaehyun.” You say gently. 

“Hi, Y/n.” He shifts his head so that a part of hsi fringe falls forward. 

You turn to see his side profile, as if he’s sick. With concerned woven shape of your face, you ask, “Are you okay?” 

An awkward tenderness in his fronting psyche. To touch his shoulder might cause it to splinter in its frozen preserved state. Hyunjae clasps his hands that’s still behind; gaze your face as if though you were the first he’s ever seen. 

Silence insists to frustratingly exist after your question. 

When a scene of the entire world, flipped in your eye; he breathes in and falls with one to the grass. His hand trails as if cold to the pocket and takes out his phone, turning the speaker outlet in your higher direction. 

“Will you make me the happiest man in the world, Y/n?” 

A bouquet in pastel silk tightly concealed in a ribbon of a darker shade. 

“Hold on.” Hyunjae drops the mobile to the ground; the music practically disappears as it swallows by the grass. 

All eyes on the thin space of his front pocket as he struggles to let loose the bits of red paper. At last some gather in his palm and he throws it up in the air as enthusiastically one can without a canon. The flowers now fully extended as the last bits of craft paper adorn his head. 

A sore spot on his left knee aches under this weight. The teeth of his smile, slowly together as he bear witness to your expression, blinking cause your lips are opened but stunned. Though he can’t read good or horrible. As he starts tilting from instability he clenches the flowers tightly. 

“I didn’t find a boombox, and the party store was closed.” Hyunjae looks behind you instead of up. Embarrassingly wonder if you would have wanted a grand confession in the college cafeteria. He won’t say it, but in all honesty he didn’t have the guts for that. 

It feels like you’ve seen this scene before; in some movie lost to time, you’re sure it has crossed you once. The sad petals taken by the wind, fallen on his shoulders or thread beneath your feet. But still might be the most soft of all thousand interactions of your life. 

Hyunjae seems embarrassed, you can’t fully tell; he looks at you from passages but sways towards the right at the end. How the past and present crashes at once to see him fully and clearly without cover. He’s such a vision that this should flutter all the lonely parts in the arch marrow body, but nothing goes off. 

It’s like standing on the fourth of may, but no fireworks light up. 

You finally smile gently, still eyes on Hyunjae. His expression waits for even a whisper, but instead a hand crosses between the fragile space. Yours takes his wrists, behind where the fingers cross the stems. Gently tugging him up from the grass as the last bits of paper rock down his shoulders. 

“It’s really lovely, Jaehyun.” You smile and he’s finally up. 

The space opens again. 

“But I can’t.” You look at him as both lips synchronize withers. 

“I’m sorry.” 

A heavy wind brushes past; lies a weight on your hearts. Hyunjae, who has never once been the one pushed away, hears lone footsteps echo in the boned structure. It’s a bit embarrassing, it’s a bit sad; he feels like he maybe shouldn’t have said anything. 

You see in full vision how his mind travels elsewhere. Still with flowers and the barely audible mobile that now has changed track to a mellow love song of 80s nostalgia. How depressing everything suddenly became. 

“I still like you, Jaehyun,” You break the silence, “You were honestly a lot nicer than I originally thought.” 

He looks up. 

You smile weakly, “When I saw you on campus I thought you flirted with every woman and acted all big.” You gesture with your shoulders and Hyunjae laughs slightly. 

“But you’re actually very kind.” 

He reaches out the flowers once again. You look up at him with eyes, x-ed expression. 

“It’s still your flowers, I want you to have them.” He says gently. 

You hesitate but he shakes them in front of you. Once loosen on the tensioned shoulders; you take one hand out for the stems and look at them closely. Deeply pink with faded inner circles. 

( wednesday, afternoon ) 

That table at the cafeteria where they always meet has been occupied two days in a row. You come by between classes and yearn through the window, but at last; there’s always a shirt in a color Eric wouldn’t wear sitting in his place. 

At the changing distance through the evening, at the lone table beside your bed; all those papers in painful yellow highlight, tire sore eyes and vision yearns for the computer at the other side. Watch the letter box they communicate through everyday, but is now quiet. 

You’ve messaged Sunwoo through facebook; asked him why Eric ceased from Earth. He answered through digital letters that he’s busy, but truthfully Sunwoo knows better than anyone Eric scatters to avoid you. Eric won’t fully admit why; the closest to a confession Sunwoo got was a bleak understanding of inner guilt over something. 

“You’re sad.” 

You turn to the left where Juyeon sits with curious eyes before the library shelves. Side by side at the communal computers; he has watched you stare at the search page for four minutes without intervention. 

“Do you want to go and see the cats?” He asks gently. 

You sink down on the table. Hands curl up at the keyboard while the wooden surface catches your chin. 

“No, but thank you, Juyeon.” You say tired. 

“Is it Eric?” He asks, leaning down. 

You nod. 

“I don’t want to hurt him, I’m afraid we won’t be friends anymore.” You pause, “I don’t want to hurt anyone else.” 

“You should tell him that.” Changmin peaks from behind the computer, opposite you and Juyeon. 

“Honesty is always valued.” 

“You know, whatever it is..” Juyeon speaks from the right side, “at least having it said will lift the weight off. You have an assignment next week, right?” Juyeon points at the screen. 

“Eric would make fun of you for worrying about boys instead of studying.” 

You smile weakly. 

07 . FINAL CHAPTER 

( saturday, evening ) 

Edges of sharp stone scratches against your old bicycle. Those few streetlights with meters in between emits across the gravel. On the path from your old house, it was quiet like it always is in family neighbourhoods. But as you come closer to Eric’s old house; ruptures in form of music and laughter leak out the open windows. 

You had to stay longer in the library working. Time passed like it never does when one’s bored, and suddenly you had missed the first train and waited for the other. It isn’t too far out your old neighbourhood, just a few stations that with each passing minute gets dimmer and dimmer because of lack of lining lamps. 

Running the last passage to your front door to take the bike, and now you’re standing at his post. The same sign that hangs on the door, rusted of all year’s weather, intimidates you serenely. 

At last, with one foot you force down the supporting metal where all other bikes stand. Close eyes on the handle while the laughter is still muted. 

It has never felt so hard knocking on his door. 

The blurred window at the roof of the door; you stare at it when finally knocking. Anticipation hugs your knees painfully as you take a step back. Look at all places except the white door. Drag your hands along the clothing fabrics as if it’ll obscure you. 

Speakers frees from the door while you feel like running towards the woods. 

“Welcome in!” 

You don't recognize the man holding this door you’ve walked through since five. His expression contrasts your neutral one. There’s a red cup in his hand, he asks if you want some; you thank him, but reject. 

As you come in line with each other through the hallway with mountains of shoes, you look at his back, insecure, before speaking. 

“Do you know where Eric is?” 

He turns, “Hmm..” Scratching his nape and leaning toward the opening frames of all the different rooms. 

“I think he’s in the living room?” The guy points further into the apartment, you thank him. 

Despite all open windows and meters of space; the air is horribly suffocating. People sit two and two, talk in five’s, and a path like pattern goes through the crowd. You let it take you, hoping it somehow brings you to Eric. 

Your feet, that still have shoes on, cease to motion diagonally towards a large couch group. Between all those mere strange faces you’ve may seen once; a face so deeply dissected and remade sits in between. He’s at the center like the sun itself, and people gravitate towards him. 

Somehow you would go back to your corner, sink down quietly. But you’ve been running for too long. Hand behind your back, wrists rope tied while your conscious threats to slaughter from behind, push you forward. 

“Eric?” You say above the laughter, and his couch group turns towards you. 

You swallow when his expression changes to something calmly unreadable, “I need to talk to you.” 

A filter falls like a sheer cover of snow when he closes the door. They’re alone behind the house, blue illumination like an upside down universe highlights you from below. Neither Eric or you had said something, but it wasn’t noticeable until the world ran out of sound too. 

Eric’s silhouette leaves your side and sits by the edge of the pool. With his barefoots into the galactic mirror, his face shades and colors like the moon. You too walk to the edge, sit by his side and see his legs make waves throughout the water. 

He’s unfamiliarly quiet; similar to when you know something someone else doesn’t. 

“I think I like someone, Eric.” You say gently without wasting. 

He looks at you, soft and tender, “You do?” He smiles. 

You smile too and nod. 

His feet make water soar before becoming whole again. Your fingers tear at the concrete lining the pool. 

“...and I’m not sure he likes me back…therefore it can’t be you.” 

Heavy silence like the Universe itself weighs over them. World’s full of life, yet there’s an empty echo in the marrow arch of your cathedral body. 

Eric gazes at the transparent surface of the water, smiling weakly because it’s the only thing right to do.

“Though, I still love you, Eric.” You lean towards his shoulder. Tear his side profile like you beg it is not the last time you see it. 

“So much as you can possibly love someone, and a little more.” 

He looks up, fringe falling, “It’s okay, I know.” 

Voice fragile, so heartbreaking against the smile that could light up the entirety of the solar system. He’s like the pool beneath, a galactic universe tightly compacted into a pond. 

His mere existence makes your eyes glisten and words frail, “I’m sorry.” You whisper.

He smiles and takes your wrist, “Why are you saying sorry, princess.” 

They both sit there for a moment. The constellations pass a centimeter above the bended celestial before you walk up. Half disappear behind the wall while Eric is left at the pool edge. You can’t bring yourself to leave; having one eye on his back as if it'll fall when you go. 

Eric looks back to your wall suddenly, like he knows. 

“I’m sorry.” You say it again, nails exhaustingly tearing at the house. 

Eric shakes his head, waving you off gently before speaking quietly, “Go get your prince.” 

Stones shatter beneath the weight of two tires. All houses are drowned in nightshade glistens of warm lighted windows like the stars above, that is childhood. 

Grass divided into squares lined with fences; streamline, down the gravel path until it opens up in a wide circle. You know this place because here’s where everyone always met. 

All those gravel paths, identical to the one you just left maze down to a grass circle. The very heart of all these houses, a meter lower than the rest. You pass the path contouring it and all these strokes of green nature hinders you down. You stop with one foot off the pedal and lean your weight while standing up. 

Where all distance creates a perfect cross; a boy much familiar to you lies. His own bicycle stranded a meter or two from his still body. Laying on his back with his head tilted on its forearms. Sunwoo’s completely still like midnight around him. It calms you just how water drains from head down after sunshine, but heart tears at its veins. 

You found him. 

To let go of the bicycle; forcing down the metal to leave it standing. Eventually you walk towards him, slowly as if you’ll scare him away. 

About three meters from his feet; Sunwoo suddenly looks away from the star fields and up to you. 

“Oh, hi Y/n.” He says like he always does. 

You cease to stop, “Hi, Sunwoo.” 

He can’t quite place why you’re here. You seem to come up in unexpected moments; take him by heart like a sudden season though he’s been admiring the trees for an eternity. It begins with your hair; how it seemingly floods down on your shoulders. Just like the jewel reflection like glitter under your eyes . 

“You’re crying?”

You’re taken back by his question; taking a hand to the cold skin beneath your vision. Liquid dried tight to your complexion.  

“It’s a long story,” You stutter; head turns to the ground before your expression becomes decrepit, but poetical. 

“I’ll tell you later.” 

After silence, you sigh; lending a bit of your worry to Earth. All the heavy mountains, all heavy oceans.

You start, “I have something to tell you.” 

Grass stands in between his fingers when they lie flat against the ground. Sunwoo forces himself up while observing your expression. You neither walk closer or further; chin falling in patterns as pupils pierce onto the sight behind him or the grass beneath his feet. Only in mere passages eye contact lasts. 

You open your mouth to speak, but realize you have a bad habit of coating everything in a thin layer of sugar as if feeding your words to a child. But there’s a certain bitter aftertaste in being honest. 

“I love you, Sunwoo.” The words free from a deep part within. Tears off the inner skin and momentarily aches the body cathedral. He doesn’t say anything. Sitting in place, whether it’s of shock or horror, one can’t tell. To expand the details of his expression, but there’s always two possibilities to his wide eyes and space between lips. Hurriedly you continue. 

“I really like you Sunwoo, I’m sorry.” You look down to the left, “I just needed to say it.” You open your arms, not like a hug, rather an impediment. 

“So do what you want, Sunwoo.” You breathe in heavily while searching for the world reflected in his window. 

“Just break my heart if that’s what you have to, please, just–” 

“I love you too.” 

“...do–what?” Your arms fall to their sides and the pupil without dimensions expands across the pearl, reaching the far edge of its colorization. 

“I love you too.” He stutters more this time. 

Every cosmic mass bulging on your shoulders and tearing your back convulses from behind. It like everything eventually does; changes form and frees for the roof without limit. It has compressed your lungs into tiny pulses, you didn’t even notice. Yet the milky way’s worth of celestial bodies frees from you; only eyelids show movement. 

You breathe heavily while looking at Sunwoo with parted lips. He looks just as cosmically affected as you. 

“But aren’t you together with Jaehyun?” He suddenly says. 

You’re quiet for a second before bursting out in laughter. 

“No…no.” You take your hands up before your chest and smile “You’re still there?” 

Sunwoo’s still crossed brow of confusion. Neither laughing nor speaking. 

“I was his fake girlfriend for the parties, but we’re not like that.” 

You pause. 

“We could never be like that…” You hold your arms behind your back, titling your head when a star aligns with his position. 

“Not when you exist.” 

He admires you deeply in the same way, one layer below. Knees have come up to his chin and he hugs them slightly while hypnotized following the last season’s breeze across your face. 

You’re not sure what is supposed to happen now. But truthfully, you could live adoring the opposite like this for an eternity longer. 

Though, Sunwoo has other plans. 

The surface of his shoes bend down the grass as he stands. The last meters dying to collapse cease from existence; all before you even lift your head from your shoulder. Just as your eyes widen he’s against you gently. Sheer touch of his fingers across your lower face before he tilts. At last you touch and love-soul bitten sensations fill two hearts. 

You look at him again after the kiss; his face so beautiful you believe he could overthrow the world. 

© littleroaes, written and all

a/ n : i kind of broke my own heart by writing reader and juyeon just being friends 😭 it took all my will power

love spectrum spoiler

have flirty/ cute dynamic in the beginning but becomes friends : juyeon, changmin

romantic storylines but do not end up with : eric, hyunjae

end game : sunwoo

tagging : @darcymariebraun-blog @sungbeam @tbzhub @sanaxo-o

[hcuyk]

OUR INFERNO | CHAPTER ONE

SYNOPSIS ✧ despite being your greatest archnemesis/rival/enemy/frenemy/whateverthefuck he was, hyunjae had always been by your side. that changed when your boyfriend was brought up, creating a newfound rift in your whateverthefuck relationship with hyunjae

PAIRING ✧ rival!hyunjae x fem!reader

GENRE ✧ high school au, enemies to fwb, angst, smut, fluff(?), humor(?) (these mfs bicker a lot), pining

WARNINGS ✧ 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT — cheating, profanity, mentions of physical fight/bruises, underaged drinking, obsessive/possessive hyunjae : NSFW TAGS :  outdoor/semipublic sex, dubcon recording, spit/drool/tears, oral and fingering (fem receiving), penetration, scratching/ripping, humping, minimal praise, degradation, sub!hyunjae for 0.002 seconds, petnames (princess, good girl, babe/baby, slut)

WORD COUNT ✧ 19k

⋮≡ [ OUR INFERNO EXCLUSIVE ] @deoboyznet @flwoie @sanaxo-o — fill out the form or comment/send an ask/dm to be added!

. . . . . . OUR INFERNO M.LIST ✩ next [ TWO ]

⋮≡ [ PERMANENT TAGLIST ] @armysantiny @stealanity @zzoguri @nyujjan @tinisprout @the-kpop-simp @sunwoosberrie @winterchimez — fill out the form or comment/send an ask/dm to be added!

THE BOYZ MASTERLIST | NAVIGATION

AUTHOR'S NOTE : in honor of my three years of officially stanning the boyz on this very day, let's celebrate with my smut debut and writing comeback 😋 enjoy my loves

PART ONE: CHASING THE SPARK (THE FIRE TETRAHEDRON) — fuel, oxygen, and heat | CHAPTER ONE

“Genuine question.”

“Shoot.”

“Who the fuck does Hyunjae actually think he is?”

Unphased by your up-and-coming rage rant, Kevin resumed snacking on the protein bar he had brought with him. He tossed his free arm over the camera equipment and backpacks sitting next to him on the bench, watching you stride back and forth within one of the many hallways in the recreational center. 

“Well, he is your boss.”

“No, he’s the student executive producer,” you corrected, your legs unwavering as you kept a consistent pace to release your frustrations. Kevin shrugged and tossed one leg over the other, staying relaxed despite the hot fumes emanating from your upright and angered figure. You paused momentarily to look him in the eye. 

“Emphasis on the student,” you clarified.

“Emphasis on the executive, Y/N.”

Baffled at how he was defending your greatest archnemesis (well, more like your greatest frenemy), you ignored his rebuttal and started pacing again. Your steps slowed as you envisioned the sensations you experienced just minutes before, back when you, Kevin, and Hyunjae were at the indoor pool to report for your school’s broadcasting channel. Technically, you were the one reporting and filming while Hyunjae was the subject of interest, and Kevin was there for physical support. 

Chills latched onto your skin as you remembered what it felt like to have Hyunjae’s bare torso looming over you, his eyes peering over your shoulder to glance at your footage. While staring at the camera, his gentle, irregular breaths would continuously hit your skin. Water from the pool would trickle down his hair and into your shirt, reaching your backside. When it happened, you could barely comprehend Hyunjae’s ‘advice’ and instead focused on feeling every cold droplet travel through the crevasses created by your spine. You winced at the thought of that happening again, yet somehow you could still hear his irritating voice near your ear, telling you all the reasons why your B-roll of his lap swimming was ‘trash’ and ‘unusable.’

For a moment, you stood there in the hallway frozen, unsure of how to move, before realizing you were just reliving a moment from earlier and that Hyunjae was still in the locker room changing.

“I’m going to make a complaint,” you declared, turning back towards Kevin for his encouragement. Alternatively, you were met with the sight of your best friend completely failing to conceal his judgment and disapproval towards your suggestion.

“Against Hyunjae? You gotta be kidding, right?”

“Yes,” you answered confidently. “Wait, I mean no, I’m not kidding, but yes, against Hyunjae.”

Kevin eyed you skeptically, trying to decipher why you felt threatened enough to report someone like Hyunjae. You may not have spent all your previous years in high school with an affinity for Hyunjae, but it wasn’t like you hated him either—not in the way you truly loathed others. If that were the case, you wouldn’t spend nearly every day with him, bickering until the sun chose to set.

“Sure, maybe my B-roll was trash, I can attest to that, but that does not give his bitchass the right to not only shit on how ‘awful’ I was doing, but also yank the camera out of my hands and delete all the footage I got because they weren’t ‘perfect enough.’ What kind of psycho is that?” You glanced over at Kevin, trying once again to get him to back you up, but the most he gave was a slight nod. Everything you were spurting was half-mindedly being decoded because he had ended up placing more significance on inhaling protein. Regardless, you continued.

“And you would think, hey! As the student executive producer of a high school broadcasting team, he would understand that no! I indeed do not record half-naked people swimming in a pool, whether it be for a career or a hobby. He should also at least have the decency to not swim seven hundred miles per minute while I’m recording. Of course I’m not going to catch up, especially when he barely told me how he wanted things to be recorded? Isn’t he fucking insane for that? Not to mention all the goddamn splashing because of how fucking long his limbs are—”

“You’re explaining this like I didn’t witness the whole exchange,” Kevin grumbled.

“And you would think he knows, right? That Mr. Executive-slash-Captain-of-the-Swim-Team should either be more considerate when, A, he’s kicking water in my direction when he’s swimming or, B, station me away from the edge of the pool? Just a thought, but fuck me, I guess.”

“Well yeah, but the—”

“Also! Not to mention the camera has the fucking ability to zoom in, so why was there even a need for me to stand by the pool anyway?” You scoffed at the absurdity, almost tempted to cackle like a villain because of it. “The least he could do was tell me how to record it or find a way to adjust and compromise without occasionally soaking me with water on purpose, which I know damn well he was—”

“That’s just how-”

“We have a tripod, for god’s sake!” you exclaimed. By now, Kevin had given up on providing you with his input. He opted to rest against the wall, finishing up whatever he had left of the protein bar, and occasionally would roll his eyes.

“But even then, who the fuck wants to see him swim anyway? We’ll probably only need like…what? A minute of the footage for the B-roll? So why the hell is he treating it like it’s about to be nominated by the goddamn Oscars for Best Picture? He just loves to nitpick and control me like a fucking puppet—”

“Keep talking and you’ll potentially strain your throat,” a new voice interrupted.

You jerked around to find Hyunjae, the culprit of your rant, exiting the locker room with a small duffle bag that contained both his swim gear and his school clothes from earlier in the day. His brown hair was only halfway dry, some strands still stuck to his forehead as he approached where you were pacing.

You halted in your path and stared him down. Hyunjae immediately caught onto the mood you were in, and instead of being shocked or hurt, he grinned.

“You.” 

Your attempt at threatening him with one word made Hyunjae laugh.

“Hey, I’m just looking out for you.”

“Oh here we go again,” Kevin mumbled, tossing the wrapper of the protein bar to the side. He pulled out his phone and went on TikTok, deciding it was more worthy of his attention than listening to you two banter—something he had been experiencing for well over five years.

As a mutual friend of yours and Hyunjae’s since middle school, Kevin understood the frenemy dynamic better than either of you. Eventually, over the long years he had known you both, he learned to leave you two be. 

“What about me, though? Are you going to try and tattletale on me?” Hyunjae feigned sympathy as he gave you an exaggerated pout, tilting his head like a puppy’s. “C’mon. I’m just doing my job.”

“Sorry, but I don’t remember ‘being a dick’ being listed under the requirements for your oh-so-important position of power.” You huffed at him and crossed your arms, choosing to face elsewhere as you rooted the soles of your feet to the ground.

Hyunjae furrowed his brows, his eyes never leaving you, as he addressed the third party within the shared space.

“Kevin, was I being a dick, or is Y/N exaggerating?”

Kevin glanced up at his phone and scrunched his nose at Hyunjae in annoyance.

“Don’t even try to bring me into whatever…this mess is.”

“No, tell him,” you demanded, now looking at him. Your glare was enough to burn Kevin into ashes, but it was nothing compared to Hyunjae’s gaze piercing into your back. Knowing that he never looked away made you shiver, hating how fixated he seemed to be—and seemingly without reason too.

“Listen, I wasn’t being a dick. I was treating you the same way I treat everyone else. I’d honestly argue that you’re just narcissistic and think everything is about you when—”

“Oh wow, thank you for admitting that you’re a dick to everyone else!” You tossed your hands up for dramatic appeal as you spun back around to look at him. He scoffed, but his demeanor was quickly shadowed by a smirk that appeared on his lips, testing you with the arch of his brow.

“Oh really? Do you see anyone else complaining?”

“I’m complaining,” Kevin muttered.

“People don’t complain because they’re scared of you, Sherlock,” you retorted. At this point, Hyunjae had already caught onto your bullshit of making evidence up, and it was why this exchange ended up lasting for as long as it did. Nevertheless, his ego continued to build the more you spoke.

“You’re not scared of me?”

And you keep falling for the bait.

“Why should I? You’re nothing.” You approached him and pressed a finger into his chest, taunting him as you stared straight into his eyes.

Suddenly a competition seemed to have materialized because now you both were locking eyes, too stubborn to look away. 

“One day you’ll wake up and realize your position doesn’t mean shit. You take it too seriously and make everyone’s job your job when this should be a learning experience for the rest of us.”

“And who exactly is ‘us,’ babe?”

You narrowed your eyes at him.

“Don’t call me that–”

“And it’s also starting to sound like jealousy to me.” Hyunjae’s eyes finally shifted, but instead of looking away from you like you initially wanted him to, you trailed his line of sight down to your lips. He eyed them shamelessly—technically making you win the unspoken eye contact competition, but at what cost? “I won’t believe you until I receive firm evidence and testimonies from the other students in the club, then maybe I’ll consider your concerns. Deal?”

What you despised most was how well Hyunjae knew and provoked you to get under your skin. He was a raging flame, making your blood boil from both irritation and excitement. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, but after nearly six years of banter with Hyunjae, you knew damn well you enjoyed every second of it. It was like a nonstop competition, and you were always on the edge of winning.

Maybe it was also because you were so used to him constantly being above you. He was the president of the student council, the swim team’s captain, and specifically the one who snatched the executive position away from you in the broadcasting team, yet somehow you were still able to compete at his level of arrogance and egotism. 

Even though you may never be able to top him in the foreseeable future, you at least knew how to match his fury—his fire, with your own.

“You’re pathetic.” You took a few steps back to gain some distance while his eyes flickered back up to yours. He bit his lip playfully, his smile only growing even wider.

“Woah, Y/N. Exposing my degradation kink so soon?”

“I-...you- w-what?!” you sputtered, your jaw falling slack as Kevin’s head snapped up, staring at the two of you in disgust.

“Get a room—!”

“I’m going to make sure you get degraded from your position, you freak!”

“Not exactly how that word works, princess, but I’m glad you’re at least passionate.” His cooing made you want to slap the living shit out of him, your eyes protruding from their sockets are you glared. 

“Are you fucking bricked up or something right now—?”

“Hey guys,” a woman’s voice called out. Your heads turned to look at the end of the hallway, catching one of the recreational center’s workers waving in your general direction. She pressed her lips together and smiled, attempting to be as professional and understanding as possible. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but is it okay if you guys turn it down a notch?”

You and Hyunjae both nodded and whispered apologies, feeling like kids who just got scolded for shoving paintbrushes down the drain. Fortunately, the worker’s smile radiated genuine warmth and consideration, providing you some sort of reassurance that you guys weren’t too much of a disturbance (even though you guys totally were).

“You two are the most childish fuckers I know,” Kevin deadpanned, finally shoving his phone away as he switched between looking at you and the man by your side. His eyebrows bunched up.

“And apparently horny too.”

“I would move across the country if it meant I never had to see him again,” you grumbled, striding back to the pile of equipment to pick up your backpack and the bag with all your reporting necessities (boring script, stationary, and a couple of notebooks shared with all the broadcasting students to collect notes and inspiration in). 

“Hello? I’m still here.”

“Look at that. He already misses me.”

“I’m going to hurl,” Kevin unnecessarily announced, and Hyunjae’s face soured.

“Ew.”

“Exactly. That’s how you two make me feel whenever you guys are together.” Kevin got up on his feet and grabbed the wrapper to shove into one of his pockets (no littering, kids) before outstretching his limbs dramatically. 

“I swear I developed back pain from always listening to you guys bicker.”

“Or, hot take,” Hyunjae interjected, “maybe it’s because you’re always sitting with your back arching forward like it belongs in the Arches National Park–”

“Yeah yeah, shut the fuck up.” Kevin waved him off with his hand and rolled his eyes. “I came here to help carry stuff, not listen to your bullshit.”

He picked up the bag that contained the camera and passed it to Hyunjae. He offered to hold one more thing, but with only his backpack and the tripod left, Kevin didn’t see much need for his friend’s assistance. 

Kevin then faced you, his face stern and rid of emotion.

“You too, Y/N,” he stated seriously. “None of this ‘he said this,’ ‘he said that,’ ‘please fuck me’ bullshit from you either.”

You gaped at him, arms wrapped tightly around the crew’s bag.

“Now why the hell do you think—”

“Zip it.”

Without giving you much of an opportunity to continue, Kevin sped off in front of you, ready to leave the building. You couldn’t even look at Hyunjae as heat rushed to your cheeks, struggling to trail after Kevin’s speedy steps.

Despite carrying heavier items, Hyunjae caught up to you with ease. You wanted nothing more than for Hyunjae’s feet to either slow down or speed up tremendously, but of course he purposely chose to walk by your side, attached to you by the hip.

“He sees it,” Hyunjae sing-songed. “Everyone sees it.”

“Sees what?” you snorted, oblivious to what he was indicating.

“That you want me,” he replied nonchalantly.

The moment you two stepped outside the doors of the center, you stopped to face him, trying to confirm what exactly he was implying.

“You can’t be serious.”

Hyunjae, who also stopped with your steps, shrugged.

“You’re the one in denial.”

Realizing that he was serious, you felt every muscle in your body tense up.

“Hyunjae,” you stated firmly. “I have a boyfriend, remember?”

Instead of receiving something witty from Hyunjae like normal, his relaxed facial features suddenly scrambled into one that expressed remote shock. His lips were slightly parted, eyes searching yours for any hint that indicated you were lying or messing around with him, but you were serious.

The aggressive playfulness from earlier had evaporated faster than boiling water, and you watched as he became stilled. Your heart started pounding, anxiety creeping up within you due to not being able to read Hyunjae like you normally do.

“Since when?” he asked. His voice was quiet, his tone firmer, and by now, Kevin was already by his car, too far from the two of you to understand what was going on. Hell, even you could barely understand what was happening.

“Earth to Hyunjae?” you joked, nervously laughing in an attempt to eliminate the newfound tension looming in the atmosphere. “It’s always been Jiwoong, remember?”

For a moment, Hyunjae could feel his mouth drying up. All his thoughts were held captive in his throat, and his lips remained parted as if they weren’t meant to collide at all. He stared at you like you had just teleported in front of him.

“Y/N,” he stated calmly, “he cheated on you.”

Your initial response was to get defensive, claiming that you already knew that because hell, it was your relationship, but then your brain acknowledged the true elephant in the conversation.

“How-...how the hell do you know about that?”

“I- You know word just-…That doesn’t matter. What matters is why in the world—”

“It was a mistake, okay?”

“A mistake?” As Hyunjae’s brows raised, so did his tone. “You know, people—decent people, don’t make mistakes like that.” 

Seeing how Hyunjae was gritting his teeth, how his eyes were locked on yours, built up a foreign frustration within you. Something about the way Hyunjae was behaving felt like he was trying to control you. 

All the rage from before had now returned, yet this time, there was no more leniency from you—not when Hyunjae was being more condescending than he had ever been.

“You know nothing, Hyunjae, so frankly, I really don’t care about what you think about my relationship with my boy-”

“You’re still with him??”

“Look,” you snapped. “Just because you have the luxury of crushing my hopes and dreams on a daily basis, it does not give you the right to dictate what’s wrong or right about my love life and my decisions. Understood?”

And just like how you always are, Hyunjae refused to shut up.

“How is it dictating when it’s common sense to dump a shitty person?” He dropped the bags onto the ground, and not once did he look away from you. “He’s never treated you well either, and you know that—”

“It’s not your decision to make,” you repeated. You could feel the three key elements of creating a fire stir up within you. You had the fuel, the oxygen, and the heat, and Hyunjae was the chemical chain reaction that would set it off. “How dense can you fucking be to not back down?”

“He cheated on you,” he reasserted, and there was a rage in his eyes that you had never once encountered. “He’s done so many shitty things, and he hasn’t changed–”

“Again, none of your fucking business–”

“And I’m pretty sure I saw—”

“I am not going to repeat myself-”

“Can’t you just listen to what I-”

“Drop it.” You were seconds away from yelling at him, ready to unleash all your anger because never once has someone threatened your love life—Jiwoong, the man you considered your soulmate. Your flame had officially engulfed his, and all Hyunjae could do was stare at you in disbelief and disappointment.

Turning to look away, you gazed up into the sky and scoffed, not understanding why tears had begun to pool up in your eyes. At the end of the day, Hyunjae meant nothing to you—you didn’t even consider him a friend.

After moments of experiencing what it was like to be suffocated by a tension so unbearable, you eventually found a way to ground yourself. 

“I can’t blame him, you know,” you whispered, using the back of your hand to wipe away your tears. “We were angry. He just–...he needed an outlet, and at that time, that outlet happened to not be me, okay?”

Hyunjae stared at you, his mouth desperate to say something, anything, to make you see what he sees—a relationship that isn’t meant to be. That you didn’t deserve to be treated this way. Maybe you were no more than an acquaintance to him, but he knew you have always deserved better. 

“He isn’t someone worth fighting for.”

“And that’s none of your business,” you scowled.

“It isn’t right—”

“Stay in your fucking lane, Jae.”

Hyunjae clamped his mouth shut, and the sight of you completely breaking down tore him apart. Possibly it was all the years you spent together growing up, constantly arguing, yet he knew he was always one to look out for you.

You sucked in a cheek, gnawing at it as your chest urged for you to forgive him, to apologize for lashing out without much notice, but in the end, you prioritized your pride over him.

Not only was Hyunjae’s persistence a stab to your heart, but you suspected that Kevin was the one who told him. By spilling your secrets, it was as if Kevin saw the knife that impaled you and yanked it out of your chest, causing you to bleed to your death.

“I’m done with this conversation,” you muttered, dropping the bag in your arms to the ground by his feet. Your plans had changed to you walking home alone, wanting nothing to do with the other two boys for the next hour or so.

When you turned around to walk away, you knew Hyunjae was going to try and say something. You knew him best whenever he was at his worst, so you spun around to face him for the last time that day to cut him off.

“Never fucking cross that line with me again, got it?”

And with that, you left. 

//

Kevin apologized to you the morning after.

He normally drove you to school, and you debated getting into his car when he showed up. Thankfully you chose to do otherwise because the second you stepped inside, Kevin was apologizing profusely. He talked about how anxious he was all night when Hyunjae told him what happened, and he wouldn’t have known what to do if you didn’t forgive him. Obviously you did, and the rest of the car ride was spent with him explaining his side of the story.

According to Kevin, he only told Hyunjae about how you got cheated on because it seemed like Hyunjae already knew. As Kevin recalled the whole scene, you two assessed the signs, such as how Hyunjae didn’t provide any sort of reaction when Kevin dropped the news. In fact, it had seemed like Hyunjae had brought it up to Kevin instead.

Regardless, it became the last of your worries because all that mattered was that you were back to being on good terms with your best friend.

But avoiding Hyunjae felt like lighting a match in the rain. 

It was your agonizing reality for the next two months, and although you could argue that you had gotten closer to your boyfriend during the supposed ‘Hyunjae Drought,’ you were still plagued with him being everywhere around you.

He was in all your classes, and you never truly processed the extent of how involved Hyunjae had always been throughout high school with you. You weren’t on the swim team, but you were stuck with him during meetings for both the broadcasting team and student council. 

Yet it all felt so different.

Unless he was called on, Hyunjae would talk much less unprovoked and would never look at you during meetings. When he would address the entire team, he would glance at you for a split second before looking elsewhere, no longer watching you like a hawk.

You had also gotten quieter because without Hyunjae to banter with, you recognized that you barely had friends in any of those classes either. 

There was no longer a fight between your flames, and you two kept as much distance as possible. You were thankful that there hadn’t been an instance that interrupted that, such as being forced to record more B-roll with him, and you could only hope that the rest of your senior year would remain the same. 

Then you would never have to see him in college.

Now you were back to being the mediocre student that faded into the background. People knew your name at best, but none have ever tried to become your friend aside from Kevin. No matter how involved you tried to get, the closest you were to anyone was a classmate. 

Hyunjae had always overshadowed you too, and for the first time in years, you were detached from his fumes—yet somehow, some way, the smoke from his fire would remain in your lungs, continuing to suffocate you even more than it had before. It didn’t give you that breath of fresh air of new friends or a better life; instead, it helped you realize that you didn’t matter. It was a miracle that you even scored Jiwoong as your boyfriend.

But then that begged the question: why did Hyunjae bother spending his time ridiculing you?

From the very beginning, you had always meant something to him, and you couldn’t pinpoint how or why. When there was no competition in academics, he treated it as if there was. Every time you ranted, he would listen, whether it be about him or something else. Even when you talked about how your chicken from the cafeteria was burnt, he would give you his own before calling you stupid for not noticing until you sat down.

He never shrugged you off like you were nothing or shut you down because your emotions were invalid. He entertained you each time with ease, and most importantly, he knew when to respect your boundaries. Hyunjae was probably the most mindful person you knew and could often tell when you were distressed or needed another form of reaction from him.

He knew when to stop.

Yet when it came to the one instance involving Jiwoong, he crossed the line multiple times. Why?

“Hyunjae isn’t here today.”

“Huh?”

“Didn’t show up for a single class.”

Kevin watched you play with your food with a fork, rolling the cold, barely spherical peas around and into the stale rice.

“That’s not like him,” he replied.

“Yeah.”

“I wonder why.”

“I wonder too.” 

After the driest possible conversation in existence, you sighed and dropped your fork into your tray.

“I need to stop forgetting to pack myself lunch. This shit makes me lose my appetite, I swear. We should call the police and tell them the food they’re serving is illegal and a disgrace to this country.” 

“Keep it away before I lose my appetite too.” 

You didn’t react nor respond to what Kevin said, letting the conversation rot as you pouted at your food. The cafeteria was unusually louder today, making it easier to space out into thought.

Kevin took out his sandwich with a wide grin and started eating, grateful he never had to deal with what the school was feeding thanks to his mom, but eventually his eyes shifted over to you. You were unmoving with your gaze locked onto an empty spot on the table, so after moments of debating between asking you what’s wrong and ignoring you to devour his lunch, he opted to set his sandwich aside and stared straight at you.

“Why are you thinking about him?”

That was enough to garner your attention, your head snapping up to stare at your best friend like he was the craziest person you knew for mentioning Hyunjae, much less suggesting that your mind was wrapped around him.

“What?”

“Hyunjae. With his perfect attendance, a day without him should be a blessing, yet you brought up how he didn’t show up today and then moped harder than anyone I’ve ever seen mope. You should be over the moon, dancing on the tables and stealing people’s food, not-...” Kevin waved a finger at you, “whatever this is. You seem out of it.”

“Well it’s not because of Hyunjae, I’ll tell you that,” you snorted. Your eyes fell back down to your tray, and the more you looked at it, the more nauseous you got. You scrunched your nose. “If anything, it’s probably because of this shit food.”

Kevin rolled his eyes before tearing his sandwich into halves. You perked at the sight and ogled the half Kevin taunted you with. You were about to thank him and take it into your possession before Kevin jerked back his arm, making you whine.

“Throw away your food, then I’ll give you it.”

“Fine,” you grumbled. As Kevin returned to his delicious, most scrumptious, packed lunch you had ever seen, you picked up your tray and walked it to the nearest trash can. As you dropped the whole thing inside, you heard your name being called.

“Y/N!”

You whipped around to check to see who it was and smiled at the sight of Eunseo waving at you. You wouldn’t consider her a good friend, but you knew her well enough since she was the vice president of the student council.

She ran over to you with a stack of paper in her arms, relieved to have caught you. 

“Y/N, hi! I’m so glad I found you. I was scared I wouldn’t because of how packed it is.”

She flashed you her usual glowing smile, and you noticed that she was a bit more giddy than usual, making you question why she was choosing to talk to you in the first place. All your conversations normally took place before, during, and after student council meetings, so this was slightly out of character.

“What’s up?” you asked. As you looked at her, you noticed how her outfit was slightly more put together than it normally was. She had on a cute top that suited her chest perfectly and a skirt that you had never seen her wear. 

“Your outfit’s really cute today.”

“Really?!” Her bright demeanor then faded into concern. “Wait, is it too noticeable or out of the blue? Is it bad?”

“No, no. Not at all!” you reassured. “It’s just the right amount of perfect.”

“Great! God, that means the world coming from you. It’s because!...” She stopped to glance around, making sure that no one was eavesdropping, before taking a step closer to whisper. “It’s because I was finally asked out on a date by my crush!”

She could barely contain her excitement, holding back a squeal with her bottom lip latched between her teeth. Her sunshine-like energy made you grin.

“That’s great! I’m glad you’re making progress.” Your eyebrows pinched as you tried to recall the last time Eunseo had updated you about her crush. “You’ve been pining after him for so long—whoever ‘him’ is, anyway.”

The question of who Eunseo liked had always gone unanswered. She never told anyone, not even the ones who knew her best, but she loved gushing about her mystery crush to everyone she knew. All people really knew, you included, was how down bad she was.

A part of you wondered if it was someone you knew—someone pretty like Juyeon or well-known like…Hyunjae.

“Oh, I wish I could tell you, and maybe I will if things go really well and we become official!” She squealed and hopped in her spot, unable to resist giving you a half-hug with her free arm. “This is so exciting, Y/N!”

“I’m really happy for you.” Your smile was genuine until you thought about why she was looking for you, starting to doubt that she called you over just so she could tell you about her date. 

“I’ll let you know how it goes, swear. But! That aside, I also have something for you.”

You knew it.

Your brows raised, and when you didn’t catch on, she gestured to the papers in her arms with guilt.

“I know this is kind of a dick move, and I’m really really sorry, but I promised to put up fliers for prom today. My date is right after my last class.” Her frown had deepened, and for a split second, you found yourself sympathizing with her because who wanted to let down such a cheerful personality, especially when this was life-changing for her?

“So you want me to do it?”

“Exactly! Please, that would be great. It shouldn’t take too long, too.”

You thought about how you would have to give up an evening of playing on your switch or extra time to study for an upcoming exam, but you knew it was your duty as secretary to help out whenever needed.

Not to mention that it would also make you a decent friend not to hold Eunseo back from her soon-to-be love life despite her poor date planning. If you were in her shoes, you would have wanted her to do the same for you too.

“Sure,” you accepted. “Why not?”

“You’re the best, seriously!” She handed you the fliers as she began to fill you in on the extra details.

“I already told Mr. Barajas that I wasn’t feeling well and that you were going to do it, so he said it all worked out and to not worry about it,” she rambled, happy to give the extra weight (both literally and metaphorically) to you. “I just printed these out, so everything should be perfect to go. Oh, and don’t worry about any extras! Just set them on Barajas’s desk when you’re finished. Hyunjae will also be in 142 with tape ready for you.”

The mention of the forbidden name nearly made every cell in your body halt. 

“What?”

Eunseo tilted her head at you, confused, before finally realizing.

“Oh crap, I forgot! I’m so sorry, I really did forget you guys weren’t on good terms. I hope it’s okay that he’s helping you out. I mean, he’s supposed to, but it was meant for him and me to do it together, not you two, so…God, I’m really sorry Y/N.”

Before you could even react to the newfound information, she continued.

“I really have to go now. Thank you again! I promise I’ll make it up to you!” And with her rosy pink cheeks and a stunning shade of red on her lips, she basically skipped away and waved goodbye to you with a smile, so you reciprocated it with an awkward one of your own. 

When she turned her back, your smile immediately dropped and you sighed heavily.

“Have fun on your date,” you mumbled, your eyes falling to fliers in your arms. As you skimmed the one on top, you noticed it was to promote going to prom while also including a big QR code to vote for who should be your school’s prom king and queen. You expected it since it was the last meeting’s topic of discussion, but what you weren’t aware of was who were listed as nominees.

There were eight names listed under ‘Prom Court,’ and while you expected Hyunjae’s, Eunseo’s, and your boyfriend’s names on it, your jaw nearly hit the ground at the sight of your own. 

//

With every passing class period, your anxiety would kick up a notch.

The dread of talking to the face you had been avoiding for two months engulfed you, and it caused you to develop the urge to ditch your current class to go hunt for Jacob, the student council’s historian. You wanted nothing more than to dump the stack of fliers into his arms, and knowing Jacob, he wouldn’t ask any questions. Hell, you were certain that if you asked him nicely, he would do it for you because of how naturally sweet and endearing he was.

But the guilt of ditching your secretary duties kept picking at your skin, and besides, all you had to do was treat Hyunjae like a colleague. That should be easy, right?

As you suffered through the last few minutes of class and your teacher’s incessant ramblings about the upcoming exam, your thoughts drifted over to what would happen the moment you stepped into room 142.

Hyunjae hadn’t shown up to a single class all day, yet he was expected to set up fliers after school. As your thoughts snowballed, you arrived at the baseless conclusion that maybe Eunseo wasn’t aware that Hyunjae was absent today, therefore someone else (like Jacob) would take over. 

Suddenly, your back had straightened with feigned interest in your teacher’s last few words. Something about Jacob being there instead of Hyunjae had excited you; it felt like you were free and that the universe was listening to your prayers. The gamble of seeing whether it would be Hyunjae or Jacob (or literally anyone else) had your right leg bouncing, eyes on the clock, and when the bell rang, you shot up from your seat, backpack over your shoulders and fliers in your arms, before dashing out of the classroom.

You sped down the hallway to 142, Mrs. Zhang’s room for Chemistry, bug-eyed, before having your delusions crushed at the sight of Hyunjae’s stupidly large height leaning against one of the counters. Your feet stood glued to the ground by the doorway, your eyes locked onto him. 

Covered from head to toe in sweats, Hyunjae was immersed in whatever was on his phone, scrolling through something as his brown curls peeked out from inside his hood. Without any hint of him acknowledging your presence, your shattered hopes slowly began to rebuild.

Maybe if you were quiet enough, you could sneak out with the tape and do everything on your own, avoiding him at all. Actually, scratch that. You didn’t even need the tape. All you had to do was go to another teacher’s room, steal their tape for half an hour, and then return it with ease.

The plan was effortless, and you mentally smacked your forehead for not thinking of it earlier. Right as you were about to execute it, your backpack slammed against the doorframe as you turned on your heels. 

“Nice try.”

You groaned out of embarrassment (and slight pain) and forced yourself to turn around. Hyunjae’s phone was now face down on the counter, and his arms were crossed over his abdomen. His face remained stoic as his eyes met yours, wielding a tension you didn’t recognize.

Now that you could properly look at him, you noticed a few details that you hadn’t before, such as the small tear on his lower lip and the bandaid on his cheekbone. If you looked long enough, you could catch light patches of purple across his skin, and the sight hindered all your thoughts, your brain too occupied with piecing together how he ended up like this. 

“What happened?” you blurted, your gaze shooting up from his lips to his eyes.

Hyunjae staggered at your suddenty, but he managed to keep himself stilled, his brows pinching. 

“What do you mean?”

Even if Hyunjae didn’t mean to, his question became an invitation for your unfiltered thoughts to spill out of your mouth.

“You didn’t show up for any of our classes today,” you began, “but now you’re here? For some stupid fliers? You’re barely dressed properly like you normally are, your hair isn’t straightened, you look pale, Jae, and what’s up with the bruises or the bandaid on your cheek–”

“Are you seriously psychoanalyzing me?” he asked with a scoff. There was no humor in his tone. Instead, it looked as if he was irritated, perhaps even more than you were. 

Hyunjae barely met your eyes, and his arms closed himself off from you. 

“What–?”

“You’re evaluating me like I’m some sort of lab project, Y/N.”

“No, no I’m not,” you rejected. “I’m just saying things are a little off.” You kept your eyes firm on his, even as he pushed himself off the counter with his phone and made his way over to you. “And you know, you really can’t blame me for being somewhat worried when one, you don’t show up, and two, you look like a whole mess—”

“Just hand over the fliers—” he interrupted, gritting his teeth as he outstretched his arm in your direction. You dodged him by turning your body 180 degrees and stood your ground.

“What happened?” you repeated, this time more firmly.

Hyunjae looked at you, a blank expression on his face, before turning back around to grab the roll of tape left on the teacher’s desk. When he returned, he shoved it into your arms while simultaneously stealing half the stack. You protested with an exclaimed ‘Hey!’ yet he didn’t bat an eye and skimmed over the contents of the flier on top.

Bothered by his lack of response, you frowned and made sure to block the doorway, refusing to let him leave until you received answers.

“Why are you acting like this? Pretending that I’m not even—”

“I’ll do upstairs, you do downstairs,” he muttered.

“Did you get into a fight? Why weren’t you here today? Why are you here now—”

“You’d think you’d know,” he finally answered, pushing past you like you weighed none less than a feather.

Your brain had fully malfunctioned at that point, unable to decipher what he meant as Hyunjae walked off to the nearest staircase. As his footsteps echoed down the hall, you thought about what he was implying yet came to no resolution. Did he assume that you were caught up in your school’s latest gossip? Or that you were the main admin for his biggest fan page on Instagram?

The idea made you snort, and you scowled bitterly at his childish attitude. It wasn’t like you were a complete stranger intruding on his personal life—hell, you felt like you deserved an explanation because of how you were forced to do this with him. 

As you stormed off past the remaining lingering students to the nearest bulletin board, you questioned how you were going to do this on your own. 

You had put up fliers countless times in the past few years yet never alone. Luckily, you had a general idea of where the fliers should go when it came to the school’s hallways, but as you approached your first destination, you struggled with ripping off pieces of tape while holding the stack at the same time. It would’ve been easier with a partner by your side, one who either did the tape ripping or placing of the fliers, but you weren’t desperate enough to fall into the role of a helpless princess in need of her pretty (useless) prince. 

After some trial and error, you found a method that consisted of setting the stack on the ground occasionally so you could rip off pieces of tape. Then you would slap said pieces of tape onto your wrist, having them readily available as you put up a few fliers at a time.

Although slightly time-consuming, it was working well and kept you at a steady pace until you heard crashing footsteps behind you from afar. Without paying any mind to it, you bit back your curiosity in order to focus on the wall in front of you, but then you made the mistake of taking a step back, bumping into the person who was sprinting. 

You lost your balance and fell forward before catching yourself shortly after. However, the fliers had already flown out of your arms, scattering across and down the long hallway.

Ready to curse out the offender for running down the hallway, you were surprised when you saw that it was Eunseo behind you, pouring out apologies while a loopy grin was smacked onto her face.

You steadied your anger and told her it was okay, getting down onto your knees to collect all the fliers. Her ‘sorry’s could only go so far with her smeared lipstick, a dazed gaze, and her hair holding the mold to someone else’s (presumably her crush’s) hands in them, but you still excused her, knowing that she was over the moon right now.

“It’s okay, Eunseo, I promise.” You forced out a chuckle as you crawled to scavenge for the ones that flew a few feet away.

“I really didn’t mean to,” she pouted, but it was shortly followed up with bubbly giggles. “God, Y/N, can you believe this? Oh, it’s going so well! I think I love him, I do.”

“Good for you,” you grumbled, hoping that she didn’t hear it as you continued to move down the hallway, hating how far the fliers had escaped from you. You also hated how she just stood there without intent on helping you at all. 

“I have to really go now. Got volleyball practice soon, but I think I’m seeing him tomorrow too!” She waved you goodbye.

And just like that, she continued running off. 

You stared at how you were only able to collect half the mess, hating how Eunseo had somehow managed to delay you even further from being in the comfort of your bed. You were also salty at how her date was taking place at the school, wishing she could’ve dragged him around while she taped stuff up before getting dick-downed of some sort.

Deciding that she and her business weren’t worth your time, you continued to pick everything up as quickly as you could, wanting nothing more than to go home.

When you finally finished collecting every last flier, you were prepared to get back into the groove of things before feeling your phone vibrate in the side pocket of your backpack. Wondering if it was something important, you took it out and beamed at the idea of it being a new message from Jiwoong.

Dating him felt like falling in love with him all over again whenever he texted. Your heart would pound in your chest when you thought about him and explode whenever he gave you his attention and time. You were addicted to him, especially knowing that he was yours after liking him since middle school.

So to say you were disappointed was far worse than an understatement. It was from a number you hadn’t saved yet always recognized and undoubtedly remembered by heart.

Of course it was Hyunjae.

You had Hyunjae’s phone number due to previous class projects and group chats, but you had never once saved it because you thought he was undeserving of being a contact in your phone. Nonetheless, with how the years have passed and how much his number infiltrates every group chat you were in, it was only fair that your brain had unintentionally memorized all ten digits.

The message he sent consisted of him saying that he was done with the fliers, and you rolled your eyes. Even after the way he treated you earlier, he still chose to let you know and brag about how fast he was. 

You shoved your phone away vigorously, ready to return to your slapping-fliers-on-walls duty, before perking at the sound of footsteps behind you once more.

Automatically assuming it was Eunseo or another student staying after for a club or sport, you were stunned when you heard his voice. 

“You’re not even halfway yet?”

In no fucking universe are you turning around; not for him.

“Go gloat somewhere else,” you snapped. The next flier you taped up was nearly slammed onto the wall, but Hyunjae was left unphased by your sudden outburst. He stood next to you and remained quiet, even when you left to place the next flier a few feet away on the opposite wall.

When he didn’t follow, you sighed out of relief, yet somehow you couldn’t help but peek at him, eyeing his hands that were tucked into the pockets of his sweatpants. He was staring straight at the lopsided flier you had put up, and when you decided you had enough of peering at him, he was back by your side.

 “What are you doing?” you grumbled. He was the one who pushed you away, yet now here he was, glued to your side like how he was two months ago. 

“You’re taking too long.”

“I had a mishap,” you explained, “but that’s none of your concern.” The lines on your forehead bunched up, and you waved him off, bending down to place the stack on the ground. Figuring it wasn’t weird at all, you continued your method of ripping off pieces of tape and slapping it onto your wrist.

And Hyunjae was totally judging.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Just go home.”

Despite being on the ground and sitting on your heels, you could physically feel the heat on the back of your head due to his eyes burning a hole into your skull, and for a split second, you knew exactly what he was thinking.

“I can do it myself,” you explained. 

“What are you even doing?” 

“Can you just go?” You picked up the stack once again as you rose to your feet, doing your best to avoid whatever look was on Hyunjae’s face. He was probably stifling a laugh or keeping his expression smug, but when you did cave and peek, his face was still solemn, his eyes on your wrist with concern.

“You’re struggling.”

“Thank you for your observation, Mr. Obvious,” you retorted.

“Let me do it.”

Taken aback, you whipped your head over to his direction.

“You’re kidding.”

“You don’t even want to be here,” he reasoned through gritted teeth. “Just go, and you can thank me later.”

“Thank you?!” Appalled at his audacity, you couldn’t help but laugh out of disbelief. “Seriously, Hyunjae? You want me to thank you for stealing my job? Again? You can’t be fucking serious.”

“Because you can’t take any criticism ever, or in this case, any form of help, so just let me do it.”

Hyunjae was eerily calm about the whole ordeal, his energy far from matching yours.

“I do take help,” you refuted. “I just don’t take yours, and neither do I need it, too.”

“You’re so goddamn stubborn.” And within a blink of an eye, he had managed to snatch the stack of fliers from you. 

“Hey!” you yelled, feeling as if it was deja vu from earlier (you really needed to step up your defense), and reached out to take them back, but he was quick to turn his body, shielding them from you.

“Give me the tape and go,” he urged, emotionless. The Hyunjae in front of you now was someone you truly didn’t recognize because the Hyunjae you knew would have made fun of you and held the fliers above your head, teasing you for being so weak.

Yet he stood still, creating a barrier between you and the duty that was forced upon you. You didn’t want to be here anyway, yet you were so insistent on making sure Hyunjae wasn’t stealing your work again. You weren’t incapable, and you hated how he always managed to be faster.

Even now, he was miles away from being playful with you, and yet he still had a way to shove it in your face.

“Hyunjae, I swear—”

“Give me the tape, and you can run off to your little boyfriend waiting for you by the entrance.” 

Your lips parted at his words, eyes wide as you worked to comprehend his words. You questioned how he knew about Jiwoong’s whereabouts, how he knew that Jiwoong was waiting and that you didn’t, but knowing that he was serious, you reluctantly gave up and dropped the roll of tape on the ground, forcing him to pick it up. 

You were sick of constantly arguing with him, and even if he was lying about Jiwoong, at least you would be away from Hyunjae. There was no point in fighting for your dignity anymore, not when Hyunjae’s narcissism was insufferable.

By walking away with heavy and quick strides, you hoped he felt humiliated by how poorly he was treating you—how he had always treated you like this.

As much as you wanted it to be true, you hoped Hyunjae was lying just so you had more evidence against his self-absorbed and shitty personality, but alas, you found Jiwoong standing precisely where Hyunjae said he was.

Regardless, all stress and frustrations had lifted from your being, and you called out to your boyfriend with a smile that would make your cheeks ache in minutes. 

“Woong!” You waved your hands with a small bounce in your steps as you rushed over to him.

Your boyfriend’s head shot up, surprised to see you. His utter shock quickly switches to one of sheer happiness, tucking his device away before opening his arms for you.

“Hey, baby!”

You tossed yourself into his embrace, hugging him tight after pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

“What are you doing here?” With your face in his neck, your voice came out muffled, and it made Jiwoong laugh.

“Had to stay after to discuss my grades with a teacher, then I decided to stay back a bit for you.” He cooed and kissed the top of your head, holding you incredibly close. When you pulled back, his hands had moved from behind your backpack to your hips instead, holding them as you stared up at him.

“You were waiting for me?” you asked, eyes wide with stars in them.

“Of course I was, baby.” 

You were radiating, feeling happier than ever. The last time you saw Jiwoong was a week ago, and with your clashing schedules, you two very rarely get the opportunity to make plans. Your hands rested atop his shoulders, and when he pulled you in for a kiss, you smiled.

But then it fell.

Something felt off.

//

If someone were to inquire Hyunjae about who his heart belonged to, your name would be his answer—whether he intended to say it or not. 

Hyunjae had always been considered the school’s favorite. His intelligence may not be up to par with others, but his authority was what made him a prominent member of your high school. Some blame it on his looks, but most were aware enough to know that wasn’t the case.

Hyunjae knew how to think on his feet, and his problem-solving skills outwitted everyone within his grade level. Reaching tranquillity had never been an issue for him, allowing him to be levelheaded while making decisions. He emitted an aura that made classmates truly listen to him and the ideas he shared, and overall, it made him a great contender to lead every group and organization he was in. 

Additionally, Hyunjae’s heart was what won over most people. His lack of vulnerability seemed to be his only flaw, but it was an obstacle he could overlook when it came to empathizing with others. By actively being involved in the community through volunteering and holding fundraisers, everyone could recognize Hyunjae’s devotion to hope for humanity. 

All these traits were what led Hyunjae up onto the pedestal and the public eye, a household name for all families in the district. Titles and awards naturally gravitated towards him throughout the years, resulting in him winning the vote as president of your school’s student council and enough scholarships to provide him a full ride at most universities.

It was safe to say that competition against Lee Hyunjae was sparse, and you were no different. 

Your grades would teeter around his standard, hence how you two collectively ended up in the same classes, but aside from that, you had nothing else that could compare to what he was capable of.

Except for one thing; your fury.

There was an inferno inside you at all times, and instead of your body shielding off your heart with steel, people around you would come to find out that your heart was the reason for that large blaze of fire, possessing a passion unlike any other. 

Hyunjae had never once seen a peer with as much fight as you. It was a trait only you encapsulated, one that you weren’t afraid to express. You stood up for yourself and your beliefs, and it was easy to pick fights with him when he had been troubling you from the very moment you two were assigned to sit next to each other in seventh-grade algebra. 

Hyunjae yearned for you ever since, his only want being your attention. You gave him the drive to succeed in high school and thrive in his senior year, and he was positive that he wouldn’t be doing this well without a reason to show off in front of you. He wanted your praise, your acknowledgment, but he loved the chase the most. 

Unfortunately, that was the exact reason he ended up here.

The chase was what made him fall for every part of you, wanting nothing more than your lips on his and the ability to have you by his side at all times, but it was also what landed you with your current boyfriend.

It was like his life was a video game with God giving him the hardest difficulty setting by making sure you were obsessed with someone undeserving of all that he wanted. There wasn’t even a chance of you two possibly being friends in your eyes. Meanwhile, Hyunjae would argue that you two had more chemistry than any other couple in your class, but that hope was crushed, shredded, and stomped on when he found out you still devoted your love to Jiwoong.

Regardless, it didn’t change who you were as a person. Your heart was still just as large and beautiful, and your drive to succeed hadn’t lessened. The bickering never faltered, and it wasn’t like Hyunjae was opposed whenever you expressed disgust at the thought of him being turned on because of you (and that was because he found the idea of you thinking about him hot—yes, his expectations were that low). 

So it was why after two months of almost zero to no contact, you treating him as if those months didn’t exist created the largest dilemma he had ever faced. He spent the next week thinking about your intentions and why you seemed to care so much, specifically right after when Hyunjae had willed himself to believe that he meant jackshit to you. You effortlessly toyed with his heart, leaving him in everlasting misery, while you seemed to do completely fine.

What was a typical and ideal lifestyle for you was a nightmare and tormenting hellhole for Hyunjae. He didn’t just crave the warmth and comfort from your undying flames.

He wanted to burn.

Insanity engulfed him on the days spent without you, leaving him to wonder why you had to make things extensively worse by pointing out his absence or how he had put less effort into his hair. Why did it seem like the concern you expressed was genuine? Why pretend that you cared for him as much as he cared for you?

He was going insane—so insane that he drove to a college party with three other friends in his sedan on a Wednesday night. 

It was being held by a fraternity he and his friends were far more than familiar with thanks to Jongin, an upperclassman he met in his sophomore year and remained friends with since then. The beginning of the senior year marked the origin of parties and hook-ups in weak sporadic attempts to get over you. 

At this rate, Hyunjae could argue that he was more experienced than half of the current college freshmen class. Getting girls in bed was the easiest part; the hardest part was forgetting about you. From what was a method created to move on from you became one that prepared him for when you wanted sex with him. 

But with your constant longing for Jiwoong, Hyunjae made sure that this party would be different.

Although accustomed to having sex with various women, Hyunjae had never been one to drink. This was a fact about him that raised brows, specifically Jongin’s when he first tried urging Hyunjae with a drink, but tonight he vowed to change that. He was normally their designated driver, but when Hyunjae informed Sangyeon of his plan, the elder was more than delighted to remain sober so Hyunjae could get a taste of alcohol.

“Hey, man! It’s about time!” Jongin exclaimed the instant he found out about Hyunjae’s willingness to drink, pulling a fresh bottle out of the cooler specifically for his friend.

“That’s what I told him!” Sangyeon projected his voice over the music, giving Hyunjae a supportive pat on the back.

Hyunjae rolled his eyes at his friends’ remarks and thanked Jongin for the beer, hanging around by the counter as the three conversed and caught up. The two laughed at the way Hyunjae’s face scrunched up at the taste, Sangyeon shoving him lightly with the claim that Hyunjae was being overdramatic. 

With his earlier mindless decision of tossing on a mesh long-sleeve shirt over his black tank top, Hyunjae had attracted another partygoer by his side momentarily after his first sip. She wrapped her arms around one of his and inserted herself into the conversation with hopes of getting Hyunjae in bed by the end of the night, and crazily enough, he considered it for a moment before feeling his phone vibrate in his back pocket.

Normally it would be something he’d ignore, but it remained persistent, signifying that he was receiving a call. He didn’t know who would be calling at this hour—well, aside from Minghao and his usual complaints about Hyunjae partying as a high schooler on a school night. 

After setting the glass down on the counter to grab his phone, any urgency to intoxicate himself as quickly as possible vanished the very second he saw your name glowing on his screen. With an awkward retraction of his arm and a forced cough, Hyunjae excused himself and answered the call.

“Hello?”

With music pounding inside his ear canals, it was expected that he couldn’t hear anything you were saying. He navigated through various crowds to reach the entrance of the house, his heart replicating the booming vibrations from the loudspeakers as he prayed that you wouldn’t hang up on him.

“Okay, I…I should be free now,” he stammered after stepping outside. The sudden stillness of Mother Nature was a drastic change from the party scene, coercing him to focus on his racing heartbeat and the anxiety accumulating in his tightening chest. He was breathing heavily, both from pushing through people in a rush and also because of you. 

You never failed to render him weak and helpless, leaving him like a puppy longing for their owner’s guidance.

There was a silence, but he could hear your gentle breaths hitting your phone.

“I need a ride.”

Hyunjae blinked, his body tensing up, as the many thoughts in his brain scrambled to make meaning of what you meant. However, it didn’t matter because you hung up shortly after, leaving him alone to revel in your words.

Your bluntness and suddenty made Hyunjae malfunction, his thoughts leading him to question if he had even heard you correctly. Rarely did you ever reach out to him, and what could you need him for? Especially after lashing out at him and ignoring him for two months? Of course, there was that one day a week ago when you two were forced to talk together, the day he was given a one-day suspension, but you two returned to treating each other like strangers like it was natural.

He stared at his phone in hopes of receiving more information, that you’d perhaps call again to reconfirm or say you had the wrong number. He felt like he was dreaming—that the person he had wanted for so long needed him for once, but he couldn’t help but also believe that this may be the beginning of another nightmare. 

But it was you, and Hyunjae was willing to risk it.

After checking his call logs to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating, he rushed back into the fraternity house, thankful he didn’t proceed with drinking any more than he did. 

He found everyone exactly where he had left them (the girl included) and announced his departure. The girl made sure Hyunjae knew how disappointed she was, but that was his last concern as he grabbed the beer bottle and handed it to Sangyeon, giving him a pat on the back.

“Drink up and find an Uber.”

“No fucking way you’re leaving us this soon, man.” Jongin shook his head in disapproval, his forearms resting against the countertop.

“Another time, I promise, yeah?” Hyunjae started walking away, waving to them as his heart continued to thrum in his chest.

“He’s lying,” Sangyeon snorted, taking a swig before bidding Hyunjae a bitter goodbye. “You owe me!"

Hyunjae ran out of the house, his legs making quick and long strides as he ran to his parked car down the block. His newfound adrenaline made him think about what he was sacrificing to be with you. Was leaving the party and betraying his friends worth spending even a second with you? What if you were asking him to drive you and your boyfriend somewhere? Could his heart even deal with being used like that?

But as much as Hyunjae hated it, he knew he was making the right choice. The self-respect he had for himself was buried six feet deep beneath the surface of the earth when it came to you. 

God, he really hoped he wasn’t hallucinating.

For a split second, Hyunjae truly debated what he was doing after getting into his car. He was already driving, but he didn’t know where to go. Luckily, it didn’t take you long to send him a text with your location, and it was a place he was familiar with. 

It was a park that he often frequented as a kid since it resided by his old neighborhood, and he was thankful he knew exactly where to go because he knew he would’ve definitely crashed the car while pulling up your location on his GPS. Hyunjae was doubtful it was the alcohol in his system making his fingers shake and his mind uneasy. He blamed you for his hysteria, one that had developed over years of endless longing. 

Luckily the drive wasn’t long thanks to the roads being mainly void of other vehicles (and maybe he did speed a few times, but he considered it justified). Before pulling into the parking lot, he spotted a lone figure curled up on a nearby bench. A small weight had been lifted off of him, relieved it was just you, and he parked aimlessly while his eyes rested on you.

You seemed unphased by his added presence, your arms unmoving as they stayed wrapped around your legs. The bench you were sitting in was facing away from the parking lot, but with his headlights illuminating the view in front of you, you certainly had to know he was there. 

In an ideal world, Hyunjae would leave his car, join you by your side, and, if he was lucky, he’d pull you into his arms and hold you close against his chest. He wanted to be there for you in whatever way he could, but he ended up being a deer in headlights, too afraid to make the wrong move and lose you again.

He sat there for a minute, watching you, and as soon as he received the confidence to reach for the handle of his door, you were up on your feet. His fingers paused midair as he traced your movements, his arm eventually falling to his side as you approach his car. 

Despite how slow his mind was working, Hyunjae knew to unlock the car right as you opened it (he would’ve died out of embarrassment if he had forgotten), and neither of you greeted the other.

Without any explanation from you, Hyunjae refrained from staring at you like he normally would, but your outfit made it incredibly difficult. It wasn’t much, just an oversized long-sleeved shirt that reached your thighs, but it was far from the usual clothes he’d seen you wear, like jeans and a nice-fitting blouse. For a moment, he believed you had no pants on, but then he knocked some sense into himself, realizing that you were probably wearing shorts that were hidden.

While Hyunjae attempted to keep his composure and respect your boundaries, you were eyeing him shamelessly, once again analyzing every detail about him. Beads of sweat pooled up on the back of his neck, and his hair was straightened yet fuzzy. As your eyes trailed downwards, you noticed how the mesh hugged his biceps, catching every crease that defined his muscles. He was quiet, his index finger resting against his lips. 

Where did he even come from?

And why was he so quick to listen?

You held back your tongue from dumping out your thoughts, knowing your questions would end up unanswered like before. Your body instinctively rested against the divot between the car door and your seat, keeping your distance from Hyunjae. He was meant to be a stranger, perhaps someone you loathed, yet there was an odd comfort that encased you from him just sharing the same air as you.

You cleared your throat, turning your head to look away when he flinched and snapped his gaze towards you.

“Drive.”

Your demand was no louder than a whisper, but Hyunjae picked it up effortlessly and was already backing out.

“Where to?”

“Anywhere.” Hyunjae raised a brow at your answer, and you buried yourself further into his seat, directing your gaze out the door. “Just-...anywhere, Jae.”

The nickname had his throat tightening and his chest leaping, nodding in your direction as he drove on autopilot. With no destination in mind, he strolled through familiar roads, his fingers tapping against the wheel. 

You stayed silent, creating a tension that was unbearably thick, yet none of you felt the need to leave; neither of you wanted to leave the other, even if it meant having to deal with the looming elephant in the room (or in this case, Hyunjae’s car).

After spotting the recreational center from afar and its empty parking lot, he instinctively pulled in. There wasn’t a proper explanation for why he decided it’d make a great destination, especially when it was the place that created a rift in your relationship with him, but it felt right.

It was empty, open, and serene—a perfect place to stay as the moon shined.

Hyunjae stepped out of the car after parking in the middle of it, and when you didn’t follow, he moved to your side and opened the door. He was hesitant but took the risk of offering his hand to you, a warm, nervous smile on his face. He wanted you to know he was there to listen, to be there for you, because, Lord, he would hand you the world if he could.

“I’m not in the mood for walking,” you mumbled, but Hyunjae shook his head.

“We’re not going to walk, I promise.”

Your eyes flickered up to his briefly, skeptical of what he had planned, but ultimately caved. You ignored his hand, and he pulled it back with regret. When you stood there, your eyes on the sky, he closed the door behind you and guided you to the hood of his car.

Without a second thought, he sat on top of it and gestured for you to do the same.

“I sit here all the time. Helps me think.” He leaned back against his windshield, his hands holding the back of his head as he kept his eyes on the sky. When you didn’t move, he started to feel stupid, wondering if you two were better off in the car, but then you joined him. 

You copied his position, staring upwards as your hands rested over your abdomen. 

Hyunjae opted to keep to himself, deciding that he didn’t want to make this worse for the two of you. Instead, he fixated his thoughts on the stars in the sky.

There were only a few, but it was a rare sight due to the constant air pollution in your city, so he considered it a miracle. You, on the other hand, were spacing out in thought, and Hyunjae could tell through his occasional peeks. Without much control, his eyes started tracing down your arms. They then landed on where the hem of your shirt rested, now looking at your bare thighs.

Feeling as if he just reverted back to being the shyest virgin in the country, he gulped and immediately looked elsewhere, trying to get you off his mind despite you being right next to him. His racing heart was all that he could hear, and now he wondered if you could hear it too—if you knew how much you affected him.

And your voice broke the silence.

“How long have you known?”

Okay, maybe his brain did fall out of his skull because Hyunjae had no idea what you were talking about. He turned his head and caught how you stared up at the sky. Your eyes were glossy, holding the reflections of the whole galaxy within them. They sparkled, and for a beat, Hyunjae had forgotten your question, too infatuated with your beauty. 

His silence resulted in you turning your head, gaze meeting his, and that was when he noticed the tears.

“About Jiwoong and Eunseo.”

Your light, your flames, his burning desire; all were gone in a flash.

Your voice was delicate, and Hyunjae knew that with one move, he could break you.

Directing his gaze heavenward, Hyunjae sighed and brought his arms down to rest over his chest. Somehow he was able to feel all the pain you were experiencing, his heart twisting while his stomach churned and sloshed around in his body. He thought about how to respond as he chewed on the inside of his lip, questioning if he should answer at all to avoid hurting you.

But you asked, and as always, Hyunjae delivered.

“I don’t think I ever really knew until last week,” he explained, “but I could always tell.” Suddenly, the fight from a week ago had resurrected, and Hyunjae was forced to relive it all.

The hallways were empty when Hyunjae left the broadcasting room, a backpack strap slung over his shoulder while the other dangled behind him. He was in the middle of scrolling through his emails when he picked up on the sound of Jiwoong’s voice around the corner. 

His footsteps halted, and Hyunjae caught Jiwoong’s fatal words.

“How does tomorrow sound?”

Eunseo’s squeals followed after, and Hyunjae stood motionless.

At first, Hyunjae had no thoughts circulating in his brain, but after hearing their lips collide, he started coming up with solutions, such as interrupting or taking a video to send to you. Unfortunately, before he could act on either of them, he heard footsteps dashing off, practically skipping, as the two bidded one another goodbye. 

Hyunjae couldn’t pinpoint the reasoning behind his upcoming actions, but he knew how to describe how he felt. 

Anger was the first and only emotion to surge up within him, his fingers instinctively balling up into fists. His muscles had tightened while a forest fire ran rampant through his veins, causing his blood to boil. 

Then with quick strides, Hyunjae shoved his phone away and made a sharp turn around the corner, tossing his backpack on the ground after spotting Jiwoong against the lockers. The latter had a dazed look on his face, his lips curled into a smirk as he typed away on his phone, but that was changed once he looked up at the sound of Hyunjae’s backpack crashing against the ground in front of him.

There wasn’t a second in between Jiwoong’s face of surprise and Hyunjae’s arm being raised, and before Jiwoong could react, Hyunjae’s fist had slammed into his jaw. 

It was a blur from there, but Hyunjae knew he had won even after authorities dragged him off Jiwoong’s body. He had received a few jabs in return, but it was nothing compared to the black eye Hyunjae gave him.

The fact that Jiwoong managed to cover it up with makeup the day after was a miracle, and no one in the school knew about the fight since it happened after school. Hyunjae wanted it to stay that way, but a selfish, cruel part of him wished that everyone knew how sick your boyfriend was.

Well, now he was unsure if he was still your boyfriend. 

Hyunjae turned his head back towards you, his cheek meeting the cold metal of his car.

You pursed your lips at his response and nodded slowly. If it were any other day, you wouldn’t have believed him. There was no universe where you’d choose to listen to Hyunjae over Jiwoong, but after a week of investigating and getting your head out of your ass, you found out on your own terms, and all the pieces made sense.

“I didn’t mean to.”

Hyunjae’s voice jerked you out of your thoughts, and as you adjusted to look back at him, you were surprised to still find him staring at you.

“I’m not a violent person, Y/N,” he whispered, an enduring hope lingering in his eyes. He wanted you to believe him, and for once, you did; you truly understood the man you hated most.

“I know, Jae.”

Hyunjae eased at your words, and the two of you fell back into a more comfortable yet aching silence. His fingers drummed against his abdomen, and after a while, he got sick of looking at the same four stars, so he closed his eyes, focusing on enjoying the light breeze instead. His heart was still racing, but it was less alarming. Regardless, he hated knowing that he potentially contributed to how much you were hurting right now.

Maybe if he had done something to prevent it earlier, whether it be telling you as soon as he found out or keeping completely out of your business so you could live in bliss, or, if he wasn’t so scared, he could’ve asked you to be his far before Jiwoong had. Maybe it wouldn’t have changed much, but Hyunjae would never know since he never tried, and now he was going to beat himself over it because now you’re devastated over losing your boyfriend and it was potentially his faul—

You laughed.

Hyunjae snapped his head towards you, his brows raised at your sudden change in mood—but it wasn’t the type of laugh he expected. Your laugh was one filled with pain, and he watched you shake your head, trying to refuse the tears that were rapidly welling up in your eyes once more. You sniffed and wiped the tears away with the back of your hand, choosing to look in the opposite direction because the last thing you wanted was for Hyunjae to see you vulnerable.

“It’s stupid,” you murmured. “This entire thing is stupid. I’m so fucking dumb.”

His lips parted to interject, to tell you that you were, in fact, ‘not dumb,’ but he clamped his mouth shut, knowing that his words probably wouldn’t help. From what he’d learned in the past, you liked it least when he tried telling you otherwise, no matter the situation. 

“I should’ve known. I did know. The whole world knew. Even you knew, but it makes me think, was Eunseo just flocking around, flaunting to everyone that she had a crush on my boyfriend and managed to win him over? I just—I…I don’t know-...” You paused to catch your breath, beginning to choke on your tears as your chest shook, “I don’t know what I did wrong, you know?”

You shut your eyes, allowing the pain to engulf you. You knew fully well that your punishment was to deal with the pain, but you felt like you didn’t deserve it—that you deserved none of this. Why was this a penalty for being in love?

It was humiliating having everyone witness the reality you shielded from yourself, choosing hope and love over the truth. 

“I just never felt more stupid in my life, and I feel even more stupid knowing that I still love him.”

Hyunjae sucked in his lips, gnawing on them as he bit back all his feelings, from his brain shredding to his heart weeping.

“I love him so much that I would let him do it to me all over again because I keep thinking he’d be better. I know he can be better, so why-...It’s just- Why do I do this to myself?”

Tears cascaded down your cheeks, each one leaving behind a trail for others to fall. They started pouring out of you rapidly, soon sobbing at the heart-wrenching pain of being betrayed by everyone in your life, Hyunjae included, because why, out of everyone, was he here for you when he should be the last person who cared?

You always wanted Hyunjae to be the antagonist of your life story, to have him as your biggest enemy and threat, so why was everyone else but him hurting you? Why was the villain of your fantasy taking the role of your knight in shining armor?

And yet, as much as it pained Hyunjae to process all your emotions, his mind wasn’t running correctly; he had you alone for the first time in months. He wanted nothing more than to pull you in his arms and whisper words of comfort in your ears, knowing you deserved it more than anyone, but he also wanted to shake you awake and slap you out of your misery, praying that you’d forget about Jiwoong; that right now, you being vulnerable was his chance to swoop in, to set whatever you wanted him to into flames, as long as if it meant you’d end up okay. 

You sat up because if you lied down any longer, you would’ve started drowning in your own tears. Your sleeves were soaked, and he sat up alongside you, figuring that he should do something about it.

Hyunjae got back onto his feet and stood in front of you. He barely knew what he was doing, but that didn’t stop him from replacing your sleeves with his cold, clammy hands over your cheeks. There wasn’t a time that Hyunjae could recall where he had been this gentle with someone, and when you didn’t push him away, he tilted your head up to look at him.

Even with tears running down your cheeks, you looked angelic as ever. 

Each droplet mirrored a star from the sky, and your eyes sparkled as they stayed locked on his.

“Take me,” you whispered, and Hyunjae’s whole world stopped. 

“...What?” Hyunjae had only intended to wipe your tears away with the pads of his hands, perhaps whisper something along the lines of him being here for you for the night (and the rest of his life, let’s be honest), yet your first words were—no, he had to have been hallucinating.

Your hands trembled as they reached for his wrist, and although you were severely broken, the grip your fingers created was firm.

“Please.”

Like a moth to a flame, Hyunjae admired how pretty you looked, your lips plump and eyes wide, and he wanted nothing more than to take you into his backseat and treat you the way he’d always wanted to, especially after hearing your pleas, but he knew better. You both knew better. 

“What exactly are you implying?” he asked, feeling like you had just inhaled all his oxygen and left him breathless. 

You released his wrist and opted to hold onto his sleeve, tugging on it as you tried to get him to understand you.

“I want it to hurt, Jaehyun.”

Your tears were gone, and there was a hint of dominance in your tone that would’ve had him dropped to his knees in front of you. You were also one of the very few who resorted to calling him Jae, and now his actual name. He favored Hyunjae, but after hearing ‘Jaehyun’ from your lips, his preference had completely made a turnaround. 

But Hyunjae worked to collect his thoughts, fully aware that this was wrong and he’d have to be the bigger person here. As much as he hated himself for giving up the perfect opportunity to have the girl of his dreams, he couldn’t ignore the large concern over your current mental state.

“You’re not thinking straight, Y/N,” he reasoned softly, his fingers reaching up to brush your hair out of your face, and for a second, Hyunjae swore he felt the alcohol kicking in—or perhaps it was you instead. The thought of being able to have you right now, to touch you and press his hands over your skin, to have you as his for just this night, was so intoxicating that he was seconds away from foaming at the mouth.

“I don’t need to think straight. I don’t want to think at all.”

Everything felt hotter and tighter, but he kept his composure, though with his eyes dropping to your begging lips and then your delicate fingers, he knew he was beginning to lose whatever was left of his sanity. 

But he also knew you were using him; you had to be. There was no other explanation. It was only minutes ago when you professed how you continued to feel about Jiwoong—that your heart still belonged to him, and Hyunjae was allowed nowhere near it. He was your backup, your second option, yet that happened to be better than nothing, right?

Especially when he could have you right here, right now. 

“You’re using me.”

Your expression didn’t falter.

“Then say no. Make us go back into your car and drive me home.” Your hand dropped from holding onto his sleeve but that was so you could wrap your arms around his neck, slowly bringing yourself closer to him. His cheeks were flushed as his mind flooded with possibilities of what could happen. Never had you ever wanted him, and he’d been dreaming of a moment like this for years. Your tear-stained cheeks, your pouty red lips—he wanted all of you.

“But you won’t,” you whispered, your breath hitting his skin. Your eyes landed on his lips, now craving him as much as he craved you. You needed a release, an outlet, to justify Jiwoong being better than Hyunjae. Hyunjae was worse in every way possible, and you wanted him to prove that to you. “You’d do anything I’d say, wouldn’t you?”

“What makes you say that?” Little did you know Hyunjae was crumbling inside, completely melting as his fingers grew weak at the idea of your lips on his. His hands, although wary, traveled to your waist, feeling your curves before trailing his hands down to your hips to grip them.

“You love me, don’t you?”

His heart stuttered, all words caught up in his throat, but he knew there was no defending himself—not when he was practically drooling at every move you made; he was hyperaware of the hand playing with the hair on his nape, the way your lips nearly hovered over his, and how your tears glistened under the moonlight.

His entire existence was confirmation of your words, and you knew it.

“You’d do anything for me, Jae. What’s stopping you now?”

There was a stillness as you two stared at one another. He swallowed and pulled slightly back.

He knew better.

“You don’t want me.” He was brokenhearted, a part of him understanding that you’d never be his, yet he wanted you in so many ways, wishing to have your mewls fill his ears and the smell of sex staining his clothes. The bulge in his pants was forming and pressing up against the tight confinement, making him groan. 

He dropped his head downwards, his forehead leaning to rest against yours, as he closed his eyes and did his best to regulate his breathing—repeating in his head and out loud, again.

He knew better.

“You’re using me.”

You both knew better.

Yet with your lips ghosting his and your eyes half-hooded, you were prepared to give into the dark side.

“And I say take advantage of it.”

Hyunjae dived and pressed his lips onto yours, hunger driving his every movement. There was no stopping when he felt your lips curling up into a grin, his hands shifting to wrap around your torso to drag you closer. His heart burst at how perfectly his lips molded with yours, and it seemed as if there was fire shooting up into the sky and exploding—they weren’t fireworks, and the explosion was far bigger and more dangerous. It lit the entirety of the sky, the moon and stars included, into flames, a desire unlike any other.

Your left hand pressed firm against the back of his neck while the other traveled through his hair. Meanwhile, his hands had snuck beneath your shirt and felt for your lower back. Heavy breaths left the two of you as desperation crept through your veins, dictating your every movement. 

The cold touch from his hands ignited your nervous system, every sense activated and overstimulated by Hyunjae as you released a breathy moan into his mouth.

You didn’t want him, but fuck, you needed him.

When you would pull back, his lips would chase yours, and you two fell into an endless cycle. He couldn’t even fathom how you were pulling away for air when you were his oxygen. Maybe you weren’t oxygen itself, but the fumes you emitted had already replaced his need for air, deluding him into believing that you were what he needed to stay alive.

You were suffocating, toxic, and destructive, and he wanted more. 

After retracting from the kiss for the nth time, you turned your head to hold Hyunjae back from continuing. You both were panting, your cunt soaking, and he stared into your eyes like a puppy awaiting their next direction.

“Good boy,” you praised, and he laughed lowly and sheepishly, dropping his head as he processed what happened and the idea of it being potentially over. 

“You’re lethal,” he breathed out.

“And you’re pitiful,” you spat. There was a playful grin on your lips, but those words ignited something within Hyunjae. He raised his head and cocked a brow at you, questioning your genuinity. 

Just minutes ago you were crying over a guy that treated you terribly, and yet here you thought you had the authority to call him weak.

Perhaps he was; he was falling deeper into your pitless trap, enticed with every movement of yours, but he knew for a fact you weren’t any better than him.

You both were sick in the head for falling for people that treated the other like shit, yet your drive, your fuel, to win over the hearts of the people you loved was so strong, and it made you two unstoppable. 

Hyunjae would punch Jiwoong all over again if he could. 

Without a second thought, Hyunjae ducked his head down and ruthlessly attached his lips to your neck, eliciting a gasp from you. He kissed your skin fervently, his fingers teasing the rim of your shorts, and your hands shifted to hold onto his shoulders for support. You found yourself tossing your head back, providing him more room to do as he pleased, that if Jiwoong were to see you with marks on your neck, then maybe he’d want you back. 

“Bold of you to call me pitiful,” he grumbled, sucking onto your neck until a blot of purple began to form.

“But it’s true, no?”

“You’re just as bad, Y/N.” He licked a stripe up your neck and over the mark, and the sensation made you cringe, disgust itching at your skin due to being covered in his saliva, but you wanted more of it. You wanted Hyunjae to treat you like you were nothing, to treat you worse than Jiwoong ever had, so you could direct your blame over to Hyunjae instead of your unknowing boyfriend.

You turned your head and slotted your lips with his again, already addicted to how perfect they were for you. Hyunjae knew the exact way to kiss you, to keep you on your toes, as your slick pooled up in your underwear at the mere thought of Hyunjae touching you.

The kiss was eager, a fight for control, and when Hyunjae didn’t surrender, you raised your knee, forcing your thigh to brush up against his crotch.

He gasped at the sensation and pulled away, bangs hanging over his eyes as he looked down at the sight. You teased him by keeping your touches gentle, but you made sure to keep your leg moving. Nothing intrigued you more than seeing Hyunjae beg or rut against your thigh, further proof of how pathetic he was for you. You gained a sense of ego knowing that he could have any girl in the world, that he has had every girl, and yet he would always come back to you. Now that you had him, it would be harder for him to return to a life without you under him, moaning his name.

You wanted to be his downfall. 

Your nails latched onto the mesh, taking note of how easy it would be to rip the material, before pressing your thigh firmly up against his dick, making him jerk.

“You’re-...oh my god, Y/N,” he gasped, breathless. His eyes meet your devious ones, how you were basically Satan himself, and somehow, someway, he wouldn’t ask for anything different. “You’re playing a losing…a losing- game.”

“What more do I have left to lose?” There was some truth in your words as vulnerability struck you. Your leg then lowered as you regained a slight sense of reality, realizing that you were forcing Hyunjae into being your selfish source of relief. You hated Hyunjae, sure, but you knew this was the last thing he deserved—to use him when he’d been nothing but accommodating to you.

And your sick and twisted plan was that after this encounter, you’d leave him to rot.

Hyunjae didn’t deserve that at all. 

But Hyunjae was already too far gone, too intoxicated, to even consider the repercussions of how he’d end up after this. The loss of contact with his crotch was what had him picking you up from his car, the tips of his fingers digging into your thighs, as he led you to the backseat. 

Your eyes widened, your senses fully back, but you made him like this, and you were going to pay for it. Although scared for about what’s to come, the anticipation had you drooling, your lips pressing fierce kisses onto his skin while he opened the door with you in his arms.

He laid you down gently and crawled over you, keeping you trapped between his arms.

“This is what you wanted, right? For me to tear you apart until you can run back to Jiwoong and justify how poorly he treats you?” 

Your brows bunched up at his words, your legs getting antsy being under him. There was no answering him, not when Hyunjae already knew how you were going to respond.

He brought one of his hands into your shorts and made the aggravating decision to slide his fingers over your underwear, depriving you of contact with his fingers.

Yet even with your underwear being a divider, he found your clit with ease and immediately started rubbing circles into the bud, making you buck your hips with a whine. The friction of the cloth was something you were unfamiliar with, and lord did it mess with you. 

“You want me to treat you how he sees you? Worthless and undeserving of respect?” He flicked your clit and kissed your jaw. “If that’s what you want, that’s exactly what my princess is going to get.”

“Fuck,” you moaned, using your hands to push onto his shoulders and force him down. The drive to ride his tongue was strong, and if he kept teasing you, you would have lost it.

“I know you inside and out, Y/N. I know you better than him, and this is how you treat me.” He sucked in a cheek but ultimately decided to comply with what you wanted. He pulled off your shorts yet left your underwear on, and his brows raised. He wasn’t sure how his fingers had missed the texture of lace, but what you were wearing was certainly lingerie.

You looked down to see why he stopped, and when you realized why he froze, heat rose to your cheeks.

“I wanted to feel pretty,” you whispered, shutting your eyes after turning your head. It was embarrassing, now that you thought about it, but Hyunjae’s heart soared, and he wanted nothing more than for you to know how ethereal you looked.

But he shoved the feeling away, allowing his frustrations to get the better half of him. 

When he pulled off your underwear, he cooed at how your essence oozed onto the material and raised the undergarment into the air, waiting for you to look.

“Did I do this?”

His mocking tone kept you from looking, but your curiosity got the best of you. You were met with the sight of a large wet, dark patch on your underwear, biting down on your lip as you looked at him with wide eyes. If you thought about it, you couldn’t remember the last time you felt like this, or if there ever had been a time when you craved someone this badly. 

He tossed it to the side and his hands massaged your thighs, keeping them spread open so he got a proper view of your core on display for him. The sight truly stunned him, reminding him that this was you he fantasized about and replicated with other girls—no one else.

“Do you normally take this long?” you rasped, tossing your head back against the seat, and Hyunjae rolled his eyes.

“I do you a favor, and this is how you treat me.”

“A favor is a stretch—”

Hyunjae plunged two fingers into your mouth, having them press firmly down against your tongue. He latched onto your jaw and pulled your head forward and up towards him, having your eyes meet his.

“Remind me, Y/N, who was begging for this?”

He dropped your head back down against the seat before you could even respond and used whatever saliva accumulated in your mouth as temporary lube, figuring that your slick would help him with stretching you out. You grunted at the impact, feeling helpless, as Hyunjae finally inserted his fingers inside of you. 

Hyunjae’s fingers were enough to have your eyes rolling, but it was the ring that he wore that stimulated you the most. You weren’t aware that he was even wearing one, yet the cold band against your raging wet heat made you whimper and desperately grasp for his hair.

“Jaehyun, please,” you begged. 

He chuckled and kept his movements slow, forcing you to fuck yourself onto his fingers weakly. When you did, he was in awe at how stunning you looked, how you seemed to be in your own world, and how you were enjoying him. By curling his fingers, a moan was pulled from your throat, making your eyes open as you looked at him. You continued to pool around his fingers, your voice weakly begging for so much more than his fingers and the cold air that brushed against your skin. 

Never had you felt more vulnerable, but Hyunjae never once made you feel like you were doing something wrong, making you cling desperately to him. You forced his face down into your crotch and jerked at the feeling of his nose brushing up against your clit.

“Shameless, aren’t you?” he commented, laughing lowly, but you were too out of it to care. 

“Shut the-...F-fuck, oh my god.”

Your whines had gotten more incessant the more useless he became, his fingers now completely stilled inside of you as he watched you roll your hips with a cheeky grin. He wanted to drag this out for as long as possible, knowing fully well that he could last all night. 

When he took out his fingers, you were yanked out of your bliss and nearly begged for him to put them back in, but before you could get a word out, he had replaced his digits with his tongue. Your slick was dripping onto his lips, and as he dragged his wet muscle up and down your folds, he made sure to collect a small puddle of you onto his tongue to eventually swallow, wanting to savor you. 

“Oh-...Oh my god, Jae—” Your orgasm was approaching, unsure of how it was here so soon, but you recognized the signs from the coil in your chest tightening to losing every sensation to the man beneath you. You rocked your hips continuously onto his tongue, and his thumb attached to your clit, making you see stars with how rapid his movements were. 

He pulled his face back and forced his fingers back into you, and the final curl was what made you reach your peak, your hips in the air as you cried out his name. 

As you came down from your high, you caught a glance of the way Hyunjae was looking at you; to him, you were otherworldly, and it was a sight he’d never forget. He wondered if Jiwoong ever saw you like this, if he ever made you feel this way, and suddenly his admiration had soured and contoured to something of darkness, rid of any empathy as he now looked at you with some form of disgust. 

“All this for me, and you still have the fucking audacity to choose him.” 

The mention of Jiwoong had your eyes wide open, tears reappearing at the mention and while being in your most vulnerable state. Your legs shook from the aftermath, feeling too weak to continue, yet Hyunjae seemed to have other plans.

Instead of shoving his fingers back into either of your mouths, he hovered over you and made sure you saw the way he dragged his fingers around your abdomen, drawing aimlessly over your skin with your essence before dragging a hand up to your breasts, massaging one of them as his other hand rested by your waist.

“Tell me, Y/N, did you buy this for him and never got to use it? That’s why you’re wearing it now with me? Am I your sloppy seconds?”

There was a slight growl under his tone, and while you shook your head subconsciously, he worked to remove your shirt, wanting a better look at your bra, before being met with a necklace you had been hiding; one with Jiwoong’s name.

And Hyunjae took no time breaking it from your neck.

Your jaw dropped, and you snapped out of your daze by sitting straight up, yet as you were about to yell at him for breaking your necklace, he shoved three fingers back into your pussy, shutting you up by having you moan at the intrusion. 

“It looked cheap, anyway,” he muttered, forcing his mouth against yours momentarily to nip on your lower lip, tugging on it so your focus remained on him. 

“That was—he’s mine,” you forced out, gasping at every thrust he made with his fingers, your sweet spot being abused as your hands latched onto his shoulders. You made sure your nails dug into his skin, wanting it to hurt, before pulling onto the mesh, wishing for it to tear. 

“He’s not yours, princess. Tell me, how can you say that when his dick has been up other girls?” With his free hand, he grabbed your face and made sure you were staring straight at him before shoving it to the side. 

“You need to fucking wake up and realize that you can dream all you want about how he’d react if he saw you hopping on my dick, but guess what? He wouldn’t care.” Hyunjae pulled out his fingers and left you alone in the backseat. 

You sat there, a wreck and vulnerable, as you tried to catch your breath. You lay back on your forearms, curious eyes following his every movement.

“There’s a reason he hasn’t left you yet,” Hyunjae explained, opening the front door to his car to grab a condom and his phone. He tucked both into his back pocket before returning to you, bringing your lips to his before continuing to talk within the kiss.

“He’s stringing you along so you can boost his ego. He knows you will always be there for him, and you allow him to use you like that?” 

You wrapped your fingers around Hyunjae’s neck, squeezing it before pushing it away to keep your distance, your frustration starting to grow.

“I’m beginning to think you’re all bark and no bite, Jaehyun,” you muttered, and with whatever strength you had left, you pushed him against the seat and got into his lap. Without hesitation, you started rocking your hips over his clothed dick, hoping your slick would seep in so he could feel you.

He hissed but allowed you to do as you pleased, his grip tight on your hips.

“I-...I think…if you asked me, you’re the one who’s projecting. I’m the one in a relationship, and you’re just a side piece.”

The speed of your hips increased, and Hyunjae felt ecstasy on the tip of his tongue, the confinements of his pants physically paining him the more you continued.

“You’re jealous, Jae. Just admit it.”

You pulled at his hair, loving the absolute control you had over him at that moment, but in one languid motion, Hyunjae managed to push you back down, this time with your stomach against the seats. You could feel your bodily fluids sticking to the nylon, and with how hard Hyunjae was pressing down into you, you were barely given a chance to move. 

With one hand on your lower back, he kept you still as he took out both his phone and condom, making sure to place both on top of your bare skin.

“What’s there to be jealous of when you’re here under me? You want to be fucked stupid? Fine. Don’t fucking complain when you want me to be the villain.” You lurched at his words, refusing to let him win, but you were completely unable to do much damage as Hyunjae kicked off his pants and boxers while still keeping his weight on you.

He then picked up his phone and pulled up the camera, making sure to take a photo of you in his car before clicking record and tossing the phone onto the ground, hoping it was close enough to pick up on your sweet noises. 

“Make sure to be loud for me, yeah? I’m sure Jiwoong would love it if I sent that video to him.”

“You wouldn’t fucking dare,” you bit back, your hand reaching out in an attempt to grab the device, but Hyunjae was quicker to grab your wrist, pinning it behind your back. 

“I wouldn’t because I know how to appreciate what’s mine.” Hyunjae released his hold on you to roll on the condom, giving you the opportunity to move and take his phone as you pleased. To your dismay, there was no more effort left within you, only an ache to feel Hyunjae inside you. 

“He appreciates me,” you mumbled, trying to convince yourself otherwise as you waited.

“Does he record you? Jerk off to your moans every night? Because I would, Y/N, just for you.” His voice was now by your ear, and when you turned your head to look at him, he pulled you into another hungry kiss, his dick now grazing against your hole. 

“You’re fucking insane,” you bit back into the kiss, and he grinned against your lips, guiding his dick into you as he spoke.

“Psychotic, just for my princess.”

Venom laced his voice, dripping menacingly, and the insertion of his tip had you grasping for something in front of you, anything, and it was only then that you were able to process how thick his cock was.

“Can you take it?” he asked, his voice slightly softer than before. When you gave him a curt nod, he continued pushing in further. Maybe lube should’ve been an option, but you were so wet for him that it didn’t matter, knowing that the stretch probably would have hurt regardless. 

“Fuck, fuck—he really doesn’t know what he’s missing,” Hyunjae gasped, his head resting against the back of yours. It was better than anything he’d dreamed of, better than any girl he imagined, because it was you, and your body was made for him.

“When was the last time he fucked you?” He was fully inside of you now, and when you didn’t answer, he decided to take it as a sign to move. With a firm grip on your waist, he pulled out just to slam back in, making you yell as you clawed at the seat, wishing there was something to bite on as you endured the pain that was quick to morph into pleasure. 

Every glide pushed you further into the car, your forearms occasionally hitting the door, as his hips moved vigorously, working up to a pace that had you moaning without pause. Tears were flowing down your cheeks at the overwhelming pleasure of being manhandled—of being Hyunjae’s rag doll when he was meant to be yours, and your body seized up, being worked up to your orgasm once more with how precise each thrust seemed to be. 

He adjusted to raise one of your legs to his hip, giving him a new angle to pound into you as he worships you with his dick, and you shook out of pleasure, whining as you saw white and reached your second orgasm for the night. You pulsated around his cock, strangled moans ripping from your throat as tears mixed with your drool by your chin.

And Hyunjae showed no signs of stopping.

He made sure to press your face down against the seats, wanting every liquid to fall and stain his car, giving him something to remember you by.

Oh, and there was the recording too.

While kneeling inside of the cramped car, he slowed his movements and inclined his torso towards you. In one swift motion, he wrapped his arm around your neck and pulled you up, locking you inside his elbow as he forced you to look into your reflection in the car window.

“Look at you, the school’s favorite slut. What happens if the recording drops? The whole school would know you’re mine, wouldn’t they?” He pressed his chest against your back, the mesh rubbing against your skin as his lips remained near your ear, forcing you to listen to every word.

You limped against him, your flames completely burnt out, and your fingers tugged onto the mesh around his arm, successfully ripping it after some time, but Hyunjae seemed unphased. In fact, it turned him on even more knowing that he had you locked in, that you were his.

“Look at your pretty cunt taking me in so well. It was so wet for me, wasn’t it? It still is. And guess what? You’re in my car. You belong to me, and my good girl is only now just finding out about it, isn’t she?” 

“I-I’m…I’m not-...not yours,” you retaliated, creating red angry marks into his skin with your nails as you endured being used, stifling your moans as you looked at how wrecked you were, how bare you seemed to be compared to Hyunjae. You were much more of a mess, from your hair to the bruises on your neck. Your pussy kept tightening up around his dick, convulsing occasionally with every hit toward your g-spot, and you held onto Hyunjae each time. 

Your head drooped down, thinking about how your heart ached for Jiwoong, yet the rest of your body was meant for Hyunjae.

“Whose fucking dick is inside of you right now?” He scoffed and pulled on your hair, forcing your head back up so he could directly speak into your ear. “Wake up, Y/N,” he demanded. “You’re mine.”

He dropped you back onto the seat like you were nothing, leaving you completely helpless, your throat void of any words as your eyes closed and met the back of your skull, too fucked out to communicate. You tried reaching for the door handle, just something to hold onto, yet you couldn’t.

“You tell me I’m pitiful, that I’m basically delusional when you’re going to be the reason my car will smell like sex for weeks.”

Your face was forced back into the puddle of liquid you created earlier, being shifted back and forth against the seat as if you were made for his dick and not vice versa.

“It’s crazy how pathetic you are, how willing you are to break yourself down in front of everyone just to have him. That-...fuck…that you’re so convinced he wants you and you two are soulmates.” He dragged his fingers through your hair and grabbed your roots. “You called me, you wanted me, and I have you right now, moaning my name, and you have nothing.”

Something about his words kept bringing out your orgasms, each thrust adding to the pleasure immensely. You didn’t know how much you could handle—afraid you may pass out from how much he was using you, from his tight grip around you to his dick hitting inside of you mercilessly.

Hyunjae whispering ‘I won, Y/N’ was what had you losing it, your high this time ending up stronger than the rest. You were fully crying now, and yet he continued as if you were nothing.

He peppered your shoulder with kisses and had the slight decency to slow his pace, but he also took note of your sobs.

“Don’t tell me you still want him,” he began rambling, his lips still on your shoulder. “Don’t tell me after this that your heart still belongs to him, because if that were the case, I’d make you call him right now. Say you wish it was him instead of me, and that he’s the love of your life while you’re stuffed with my dick. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

You could no longer think, and what you hated most was how reactive your body was—how you were just able to come for the third time, but Hyunjae’s dick solely being inside you snapped some other straw you weren’t aware you had, finding that your last high was incoming. 

Hyunjae had picked up the pace by then, and by knowing your body incredibly well, he reached down to your sensitive clit to relieve you. You both knew your fourth was arriving, and you held on tight to his arm.

“J-Jaehy- hyun, I’m—”

“Mine.”

You cried out, your entire body shaking, and Hyunjae pulled out, immediately releasing onto your back with a guttural moan after yanking off the condom. He was forced to catch his breath, watching you float in and out of consciousness.

Your eyes were closed, struggling to breathe through your sobs, and Hyunjae consoled you with a kiss on the back of your shoulder. 

“You’re mine, Y/N, whether you like it or not.”

He then pressed a kiss to your cheek before leaving to grab paper towels from his trunk. You were heaving, still shaking, and left alone as a mess in his backseat, yet with him gone, you felt even more useless, wanting him back by your side instantly. You weakly cried out for him, your nails dragging against the seat in hopes of being in his arms soon, and maybe he was right.

Maybe you were his.

OUR INFERNO [ M.LIST | TWO ]

NAVIGATION — THE BOYZ

© https://hcuyk.tumblr.com/

[winterchimez]

Bad Blood | Lee Hyunjae

SUMMARY: you and Hyunjae were the best duo the FBI has ever had, well at least, you used to be. so when you finally meet the man you once loved face-to-face after everything that has happened, you're now left with the question if he is worth putting your faith and trust towards him again.

PAIRING: agent!Hyunjae x f!reader

GENRE: angst, crime

WARNINGS: nc-17, mentions of weaponry (guns, bombs), mentions of blood, violence, action scenes, betrayal (but not really ish; you'll find out as you read it), the tension in this is whew 😮‍💨, minor character deaths, kissing, petnames (sweetheart, princess), cursing

WORD COUNT: 2k

A/N: and so winterchimez makes her writing comeback 🫡 happiest birthday to my sweetest @hcuyk i look up to you a lot and im so so glad that we became close & i hope this is worthy for you my vae vae 🥹 and a big shoutout to @kyaroscuro for hyping me up and beta reading it through i cherish you loads too 💗🫶🏻

You absolutely detested the situation that you were placed in.

It was past midnight when you received an alert about the criminal that you and your team had been tracking down for the past few months and decided to resurface into the light. All agents on duty were given clear instructions to hunt the man down, even if it meant that any of you had to open fire. 

But it seemed as if your agents had underestimated what he was capable of, and there was a good reason why he was placed on the FBI’s top most-wanted list—he was a mastermind at setting up traps, specifically in hiding bombs throughout the city. 

Unfortunately for you and your team, half of your men had already been wiped out and poorly injured only ten minutes into the chase. However, as one of the elite members of the force, you refused to stop and kept moving forward—chasing the criminal up to the docks.

Loading your gun while you were running to aim and shoot at the criminal was a challenge since you also had to avoid harming any of the pedestrians.

Multiple times, the criminal himself has either taken some innocent people hostage or inflicted minor injuries upon them, which only ticked you off even further. You were mentally cursing and wanting just to land a bullet on the guy anytime now. 

It was finally when the criminal himself had moved to a dead-end, and he was taking a few steps back one at a time before he realised that he would fall straight down into the violent waves that would wash one away into the deep ocean. 

Aiming your gun right towards his forehead, you finally took in a deep breath before announcing out loud the consequences of his actions if he were to try anything funny further. 

“It’s over. Quietly turn yourself in, and your life will be spared.” 

Instead of raising his arms, the criminal responded by lowering his head before chuckling—his laughter getting louder and more sinister by the second.

“What’s so funny?” You retorted.

“I’m sorry, princess. It’s time.” 

Right there and then, he pulls out a remote and quickly taps on the red glowing button. An explosive goes off under the bridge, causing the waves to rise rapidly. The last thing you see with your eyes is the waves crashing down upon you.

It was too late for you to run as the waters dragged you down into the ocean, and the current quickly shifted you far away towards the sea. As much as you tried to paddle and stay above the waters, you were buried rapidly by the waves, and little did you know you were deep down in the dark, freezing waters. 

That was it. You failed the mission, and god knows what will happen to you. 

With the last few seconds you had before you knew that you were going to pass out, you could only pray that you would end up somewhere and that your fellow FBI agents would find you and take you back to the headquarters within the next 24 hours. 

But it seemed that help arrived much quicker than expected. 

As you felt half-unconscious, your body was quickly lifted from the waters, and you were back at the docks again. Whoever was carrying you was quick yet gentle, carrying you bridal style before heading towards a dimly lit area between the cargo boxes and placing you down to catch your breath. 

Your saviour wasted no time and quickly performed CPR on you, causing you to spit out a large amount of water that had gotten into your passageways and helped you to steady your breathing again so that you were able to at least talk. 

The moment you tried to focus your vision to get a glimpse of which of the FBI agents came to your rescue, your eyes immediately widened, and you quickly took out your other spare gun that you kept safe and intact behind your bulletproof vest and rested it on his temple. 

You weren’t expecting to see him again. 

“Sweetheart, can’t we just exchange a few words before you decide to pull a gun on me? I even saved your life, you know,” Hyunjae sighed as he slowly lifted your pants to reveal an injury you had neglected while you were on the chase for the criminal. 

“As I’ve said, the next time we meet, I will not hesitate to pull the trigger and kill you off, traitor,” you deadpanned.

That’s right, Hyunjae was a traitor—an ex-FBI agent and your former partner-in-crime.

Both of you were inseparable for years. You trained and deployed on countless missions, and for five years, you were grouped as a duo. Hyunjae was the best marksman, and you were his right-hand-woman.

Together, no criminal out there was a match for you two, no matter how dangerous or well-equipped they were. In reality, whoever dared to provoke you two would not have a great outcome the moment that they were captured and brought back to headquarters. 

He was a soulmate you never knew existed, and the both of you were always together no matter what. At some point, all of your colleagues were convinced that the two of you were a thing, but neither of you wanted to label anything. You both were fine just the way you were, and as long as the bickering and childish acts went on, you were fine.

Until you ran into Hyunjae killing off one of your superiors in his office a year prior. 

This was someone you trusted your whole life with, but at that moment, he was a complete stranger—with splatters of blood all across his face and clothing and those deep, lost eyes as he looked down at the lifeless body on the ground.

As an instinct, you loaded your gun with your trembling hands and moved it up to aim at him, causing the male to direct his attention towards you.

There were no words exchanged for a solid ten seconds, and you could tell that tears were about to stream down your face as your vision blurred. 

There was this bittersweet smile plastered across his face, and he only stood there, not moving an inch, before he finally decided to break the news to you. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” 

Those were his last words before he leapt out of the broken windows, running deep into the forest before the entire building was alerted and a wide manhunt began to capture your ex-partner.

However, the FBI should’ve known that he was one of the top commanders at that point and would not be easily located.

After a few months had passed, the news came to light when it was revealed that Hyunjae was leading a double life—not only was he an FBI commander, but he was also the CIA’s top informant. 

With that, you have distinguished that you two are now on different pages and that things will not end well for either of you the next time you see him again.

So here you were, pointing your gun at his temple, ready to pull the trigger anytime. 

Part of you wanted to surrender so badly and just interrogate the hell out of him instead of resorting to violence, but you knew that being an agent meant that there was no room to let any personal feelings get in the way. 

But it seemed as if Hyunjae wasn’t bothered by your actions in the slightest, and instead, he took out a clean cloth from one of his pockets to clean the wound before wrapping it well to prevent any infections that may happen. 

No. There’s no way you’re going to back down now. “You’re going to get yourself killed if you keep this up; you know that, right?” You pushed the gun forward and added some pressure, but he was not alarmed in the slightest. 

“Alright, the cloth isn’t going to last for long, so I highly suggest that you treat the wound as quickly as you possibly can-”

“Stop playing games with me, Hyunjae. You know you’re part of the FBI’s most wanted list now, don’t you?” You warned. 

There were a few seconds of silence before the male sighed and wrapped his fingers around your gun, yanking it down forcefully. “You’re so gullible, Y/N.”

“What the actual fuck? You sure have the audacity to say that right to my face after what you’ve done-”

“What I’ve done a year prior-” he raised his voice slightly and finally turned to meet eye-to-eye with you for the first time in a while. “-it’s all part of the plan to patch things up and to eliminate any potential harm to the FBI.”

You scoffed. “Bullshit. You’re with the CIA; why bother about the FBI when you killed Chief-”

Before you can finish your sentence, Hyunjae uses one of his arms to push you against one of the cargo boxes, causing you to yelp silently with the sudden force. This time, he rests his forehead against yours, trying his best to tell you something while lowering his tone. 

“Y/N. You can hate me all you want, but I’m not doing all of this for the CIA. No matter what, my heart is always with the FBI, but most importantly, with yours.” 

Wait a minute. 

Did he mean what he said during that last sentence? 

That can’t be true, and you were certain that you were probably hallucinating since you had lost quite a bit of blood and you were literally drowning ten minutes ago in the waters. It has got to be a side effect of all of those. 

But Hyunjae wasn’t done. 

“I’ll tell you right now that you’re in great danger, and you have attracted quite the attention from multiple organisations out there. But I’m not going to let them lay a finger on you, and it will always be a top priority to keep you safe first and foremost.” 

“Hyunjae. I’m not in the mood to be playing games with you-”

“And neither am I, Y/N.” Hyunjae slightly pushes you back against the box, this time moving in close until both of your lips are mere inches apart. “You’re mine, and forever will be.” 

In the blink of an eye, he presses his lips onto yours, devouring them as if there was no tomorrow. It was the first time you exchanged kisses, and you never realised how soft his lips were, and he knew how to cause butterflies in your stomach. He slowly moved his hands up to your neck and held it firmly, allowing him to deepen the kiss even further. 

As much as he wanted for it to last as long as he could, he pulled away and kissed your temple softly before whispering into your ear. 

“You wanted the truth, and I have given it to you. It’s up to you to do whatever you want with the information. But know that I’ll always be lurking in the shadows, keeping you safe from any harm before we can finally meet face-to-face again,” Hyunjae whispered. 

When he finally let go of his grip on you, a soft, sincere smile was plastered across his face before he disappeared into the darkness of the night, leaving you confused as hell as you laid your head back on the box. 

As the sound of the choppers began rumbling in the sky, indicating that the FBI had sent back up to rescue any of the surviving agents, you knew it was time to get up and head straight back to report at the headquarters. 

Before you did any of that, you decided to turn your direction right towards where Hyunjae had run off one last time before a single teardrop fell straight down onto the ground. 

“You have never once left my mind, Hyunjae. And now, you’re just making me go insane with whatever you have up against your sleeves.” 

A/N: i haven't written in months so this might not be the best but i tried 🥹

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[m00nbap]

Danger days.

[jinkoh]

fall back on me

hyunjae x gn!reader

summary: to say you hadn't been pleased when you’d found out hyunjae was your soulmate would be an understatement. he was loud and annoying and all the two of you ever did was bicker. and yet, somehow, you wanted to be there for him

part of my soulmate series

tags: soulmate au (sharing bruises), childhood frenemies to lovers, high school au, hurt/comfort, some fluff, SFW; warnings: implied abuse/domestic violence, mentions of injuries and blood

wc: 3.8k a/n: can someone tell me why this is almost 4k when i thought i'd stick to tiny <1k drabbles for this series? is it bc i am currently so very in love with leehyunjae?? perhaps?? we may never know

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“I think I could really miss out on P.E today,” you sighed as you slung your gym bag over your shoulder and followed your friends out of the classroom.

“You could always miss out on P.E, y/n,” Siyeon corrected with a raised eyebrow. “I remember in middle school there was a time where you purposely forgot your gym clothes every. single. week.”

“Eh? For real?” Minji chimed in in surprise.

“Yupp, even got detention for it, but showed up without again the week after.”

“Let bygones be bygones already, Siyeon,” you complained, a little uncomfortable about her bringing it up. Not that it wasn’t true, but you’d had your reasons at the time. Now however you simply didn’t like sports. You weren’t very good, especially with ball sports, and you knew you’d get an earful about it if you got hurt.

“Fine,” she agreed, almost disappointed to drop the topic. Minji on the other hand didn’t mind much, her attention grabbed by something else—or more accurately: someone else. The guys from the basketball team were coming your way, Juyeon, Jacob and, of course, Hyunjae. Minji seemed absolutely delighted; it wasn’t a secret that she basically crushed on all of them. You weren't half as excited about this. When Hyunjae met your gaze, a small grin tugged at his lips and he came your way. You let out a groan. You really weren’t in the mood for this.

“What a passionate greeting,” he said with a small shake of his head, “is that any way to treat your beloved classmate?”

“We’re not even in the same class, Jaehyun.”

He dramatically clutched his heart. “So cold, y/n, so cold.” Then his gaze fell onto your gym bag. “P.E? Really?”

“Yup. We’re playing basketball.”

He scrunched up his face. “If only you were half as gifted as me.”

“It’s not like I want to play either. But I’m hardly the one making the class schedule now, am I?”

“Right. Guess there’s no way around it. Just don’t fall again, those were some nasty bruises last week.”

“Mhm,” you rolled your eyes. “I’ll try my best.”

“Well sadly, your best isn’t all that good, y/n. You know, I could give you some pointers.”

“Nah, thanks, I can handle myself.”

“That’s just empty words,” he complained, “I need a bit more than that to feel reassured.”

“If the ball comes my way I’ll just catch it with my face,” you deadpanned before pushing past him.

“Not funny!" He yelled after you but you didn’t turn around again, just giving him a half-assed wave over your shoulder.

A second later, Minji was jogging up next to you, completely baffled by the whole interaction. “How do you know Hyunjae?! Do you have something going on?”

“Ew, no,” you immediately replied.

“But he clearly cares for you!”

“For me?” You couldn’t help but chuckle. “Hardly.”

Siyeon came up between the two of you, casually slinging her arm over Minji’s shoulder. “They are soulmates,” she explained matter of factly, “Didn’t you know?”

“He is your soulmate?! Why didn’t you tell me, y/n?”

“It’s not like it’s something to brag about.”

“Duh?! It is! We’re talking about the Lee Hyunjae.”

You made a disgusted face. “Exactly.”

In High School, Hyunjae was one of the popular kids. Maybe it was because he was tall or because he played basketball or perhaps it was that charming smile of his—either way, everyone was enamored by him. The guys wanted to be his friend and the girls wanted to get into his bedsheets and even the teachers seemed to like him despite his bold demeanor. 

You however felt a little different about him. You’d been in the same school since elementary, so you’d basically seen him grow up. While he was the cool and charming Hyunjae to everyone else, to you he was still Jaehyun, the odd one out, a kid that seemed unable to read the room or purposely didn’t. It wasn’t that he’d never had friends, it was that he couldn’t seem to keep them, sooner or later being left behind for being loud and annoying or for taking one of his pranks too far. The teachers had deemed him a troublemaker, unable to focus and distracting everyone else and your opinion of him wasn’t much better. 

You’d found out he was your soulmate in 4th grade, when the bloody knee he got from playing soccer made your own knee turn red and blue. To say you weren’t pleased was an understatement. You had no intention of being close to such a troublesome kid, worried about ruining your grades and tired of his exhausting personality. Any time you spoke to him, you just ended up bickering about his missing homework or him skipping out on cleaning duty. Honestly, it was draining your energy. So, you kept the whole soulmate thing your little secret, never telling him what you’d discovered. It was easy enough—he was never paying attention to you anyway, so he wouldn’t notice if you shared a bruise or two from time to time. You didn’t tell anyone else either. As far as you were concerned, you didn’t have a soulmate. A lot of people didn’t have one anyway and as long as neither of you got hit in the face no one would find out.

You started to reconsider in middle school though. It wasn’t that you suddenly liked him, even if you had to admit that he’d gotten more bearable. He’d calmed down a little and his pranks too were not completely lacking in sensibility and consideration anymore. Actually he was barely playing pranks at all, keeping a low profile more often than not. And there was something else. 

At first you’d thought the bruises were from playing soccer again, and you would have told him off to be more careful if that hadn’t meant outing yourself as his soulmate. But you realized he never actually joined the guys playing soccer anymore. And it would barely explain the bruises anyway—if they were on your knees, sure, but on your ribs and upper arms? You had your doubts. As they kept appearing, littering your body to a point where you didn’t dare to change in front of other people anymore, your worries grew. Something was wrong, but you didn’t know how to address it and much less if you should in the first place.

“Long sleeves?” Siyeon asked one day during recess, eyebrows raised in confusion.

“I don’t know, I think it’s kinda cold,” you lied.

“Cold? It’s summer! Y/n, I can literally see the sweat running down your temple.” She shook her head in disbelief. “I swear to god, we only have weirdo’s in this class. Hyunjae is the same.” She nodded over to him. You thought he’d been sleeping, his head resting on his arms, but at the mention of his name he looked up. Your gaze briefly met, and for a second there was an odd expression on his face, his eyes lingering on your covered up arms for a second too long. You felt your chest tighten, thinking he knew, and for the first time it wasn’t the soulmate part that frightened you. More than that you worried about the fact that you knew such a deeply vulnerable thing about him. You weren’t close, so surely he wouldn’t want you to know. You opened your mouth, wondering if you should say something, but then he turned back around, resting his head on his desk again as if nothing had happened. Maybe his odd gaze had just been your imagination.

You didn’t go swimming even once that summer, and you assumed neither did he, because the bruises never really left, new ones coming before old ones could heal. You skipped out on P.E class claiming you forgot your things, or changed on the toilet instead and no one seemed to question it, deciding it must simply be a rebellious phase for you. You knew it couldn’t continue like this, but you felt so helpless, caught up in something that shouldn’t be your business. With the history you shared, what could you even say, that wouldn’t sound condescending and meddlesome coming from you? You felt like the issue was slowly eating you up from the inside and a part of you wished you could just wipe off all the bruises and get rid of the connection that tied you to this mess. But even if you could, even if you woke up tomorrow without a single bruise, your skin a blank slate, Hyunjae would still have them. He would still wake up with the same injuries, covering them up for no one to see. It must be lonely, you thought, to go through so much pain all by yourself, hiding it away when really you want someone to notice and hold out a hand to you.

When you spotted him still lingering in the half dark classroom after school was long over, sitting on the floor against the wall and playing something on his phone, you decided to talk to him. 

“You’re still here.”

Hyunjae looked up at you, surprise flashing through his eyes, before he focused back on the screen that was casting a blueish light onto his face. “Mhm.” He shrugged. “You gonna rat me out to the teachers?”

“Aren’t you going to go home?”

“Yeah,” he said, but he didn’t show any intention to leave at all.

It wasn’t exactly how you expected the conversation to go. You’d thought it would be easier. Or maybe you were just caught off guard to see him so calm for once, his energy seemingly used up over the course of the day. He wasn’t making snappy comments or bad jokes. He was just sitting there.

At a loss of what to do, you plopped down next to him, leaving some space between you. You glanced at his phone, watching him play. He didn’t comment on it, but you noticed the way he tilted the screen the tiniest bit so you could see better. The two of you probably sat there like that for almost an hour, until a pop up warned him that he was running out of battery. 

“Shit,” he grumbled, reluctantly closing the game. He shoved his phone into his pocket, but even then he didn’t stand up.

“You don’t want to go home, do you?” You asked and you didn’t expect him to be honest, but he was.

“No.” He paused for a moment before looking over at you, searching for something in your eyes. A sense of fellowship, perhaps. “What about you? You don’t want to go either?”

You hesitated. “That’s not it.”

“Then why?” But it seemed what he was really asking was how? How do you know then, when you’re not the same as me?

“I was worried.”

“About what?”

“You.”

There was another pause and then he laughed, but it didn’t sound convincing. “Why are you always so meddlesome? You don’t have to bug me about my homework anymore, you know? You’re not my mom and I’m fine.”

“But you’re not,” you insisted.

He looked almost angry now and it was weird to see him like that, because through all the years you’d known him, through all the fights you’d picked with him, you’d never seen him angry, not really. “Don’t act like you know me. You don’t know anything.”

You bit your lower lip and closed your eyes, trying to gather some strength. Your fingers clutched the hem of your shirt, holding onto it with a grip so strong it made your knuckles turn white. “I do know,” you pressed out, your voice trembling as you pulled up your shirt enough to reveal your ribcage. Hyunjae made a choked up noise, but it took you a second longer to find the courage to look at him. When you did, there were tears in his eyes. He looked onto your skin in horror, and you knew that he understood what it all meant. You let the hem of your shirt fall back down. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered and the way he sounded so shaky, so vulnerable, made tears well up in your eyes too. He wrapped his arms around his body, as if that could somehow hide away the truth you both already knew about.

“You have nothing to be sorry about, Jaehyun. It’s not your fault.”

“But I—,” He trailed off. “I’m so sorry.”

“I promise you don’t have to be sorry. And you don’t have to endure it all by yourself either.” You reached out, gently, carefully grazing his hand with your own. To your surprise he didn’t flinch away. Instead, his fingers wrapped around yours. He held onto you like a lifeline, his grip almost painful, but you didn’t complain. In a way you felt grateful that he wasn’t pushing you away. It was weird, because you’d never thought you cared about or liked him. But right in that moment, you thought maybe you did. At the very least you wanted to be someone he could rely on and why would you want that if not because you liked him to some extent?

It would be delusional to think you could magically fix his situation. After all, you were just a kid at the time. But still, you tried to at least be there in ways you could. You’d stay behind after class with him, keeping him company as he played his mobile games. Sometimes you’d use the time to do your homework, and eventually he even joined in, getting you to explain things he had missed due to getting distracted in class. You liked the way his face lit up when he got them right. You were also the one to suggest the basketball club to him. Because you’re tall, you said and it wasn’t a lie, but mainly it was because they practiced late and it gave him a reason to stay behind. You never talked about the bruises again, but you thought they became fewer, the less time he spent at home. Until suddenly, they just stopped appearing.

“We moved,” he ambiguously explained one day, but you understood just fine without him having to say more.

“So…you can go home now?” You asked, looking up from where you were crouched over your math workbooks.

“Yeah.” He paused. “But you still have to explain the homework to me though.”

“Okay,” you smiled and you thought he was smiling too, his head already hunched over the formulas in his book again.

“You’re kidding, right?” Hyunjae greeted you as soon as you came out of the changing rooms after class. He was leaning against the wall, clearly having waited for you. His nose was red and slightly bruised.

“Don’t be mean,” you replied with a pout, your voice slightly muffled by the towel you were holding up against your face, “I have a nosebleed.”

“I can see that." He shook his head with a sigh. "I didn’t think you meant it literally when you said you’d stop the ball with your face.” 

“Neither did I, but it seems this is what fate wanted.”

“Fate my ass. You just suck at sports.” 

“Be grateful you only get the bruise and not the bleeding.”

“Mhm, thanks for not completely ruining my face.” He pushed himself off the wall and started walking down the hallway. After a few steps he turned back around to you. “Stop standing there like a fool. Come.” He didn’t check again if you were coming along, but he didn’t have to because you plodded after him, gym bag in one and the bloody towel in the other hand. Hyunjae stopped in front of the infirmary, knocking but not waiting for a response before pushing the door open. It was empty either way. You awkwardly stood in the doorway while he rummaged through the cabinet.

“Can you not stand there like some playmobil figure? Sit,” he nodded towards the bed in the corner.

“You really keep on insulting me today, huh?” you complained but you plopped down on the mattress anyway.

Hyunjae met your gaze with a grin. “Today? Always.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“Mhm, says the one who gave me a super ugly bruise on my face.” He sat down on the wheeled swivel stool, scooting it over until he was right across from you, a box of wet tissues in his hand. “Now let’s clean up that mess.”

When you lowered the towel he pulled a disgusted face. “That’s so gross.”

“It’s just a nosebleed,” you put the towel up again with a frown, “and I never said I needed your help anyway.”

“Don’t be silly.” Hyunjae moved your hand away and tilted his head to take a proper look. “It’s not bleeding anymore, is it?” He mumbled, carefully wiping away the blood stains beneath your nose. It didn’t seem like he actually wanted a reply, so you stayed quiet, fixing your eyes onto the trees outside the window so you didn’t have to look at him this close up. Maybe it should have felt weird to have him take care of you like this. But it didn’t, because Hyunjae was always like this. Even with all the bickering and arguing, even when his friend circle was so vastly different from your own, when it came down to it he’d have your back.

“Can I ask you something?” you broke the silence while Hyunjae momentarily stopped his ministrations in your face to switch out the tissue.

“You mean what I did to deserve a soulmate as clumsy as you? I’d like to know that too,” he replied as he got back to work, but you ignored the silly comment.

“Why didn’t you try to keep it a secret?”

“What?” He sounded genuinely confused about what you were talking about.

“That we're soulmates. Isn't it embarrassing?”

Hyunjae huffed a laugh, not lifting his focus from where he was getting rid of some blood that had made its way into the corner of your lip. “Why would it be embarrassing?” 

“I don’t know. Because you’re one of the cool kids now.” 

That put a challenging grin on his face and he glanced up. “You think I’m cool?” 

“You know that’s not what I mean.” You rolled your eyes.

“Hm,” he paused to think for a moment. “It just never occurred to me. I don’t think there's anything embarrassing about it. You being my soulmate was never something that seemed worth hiding. And I know you'd never tell anyone the things I do want to hide.”

His words made you feel a little guilty, remembering all too well how keen you’d been on keeping it a secret when you'd first found out. 

“To be honest,” Hyunjae continued, “when you told me I felt sorry. But I also thought I got impossibly lucky.”

“Lucky?” 

“Yeah,” he stared at his hands as switched out the tissue again, even though there was barely any blood on it. It felt like he was purposely avoiding your gaze, something that didn’t happen all too often. “I really liked you, you know? Even before you told me.” 

“But I was so mean to you.”

He tilted his head in confusion. “Really? Were you mean?” 

“I was totally mean. I always bugged you to hand in your homework. And I scolded you when you didn’t do your cleaning duty.” 

“Yeah. I kinda liked that.” 

You let out a snort and it made a new wave of blood gush out from your nose. 

“Ew.” Hyunjae scrunched up his face as he held up the tissue to catch the blood.

“Are you a masochist or something?” 

“Don’t be like that.” He gave you a dissatisfied pout. “At the time it meant a lot to me. You were the only one who cared enough to get angry. Even the teachers had given up on scolding me. I think I would have repeated a year if it wasn’t for you. So I was grateful. And in middle school too…,” he trailed off. You both knew what he was talking about anyway. 

“I didn’t do anything, though. I didn’t do anything to help.”

“You did. You were there for me. You made me feel less alone. I think I have a lot to be grateful for. So there isn’t really any reason for me to be embarrassed about you, is there?” 

You felt your cheeks flush with heat, taken off guard by his sincere response. It’d never occurred to you that he could think this way about everything. You hadn’t expected him to value it so much, because you’d always felt like you hadn’t done enough, like you hadn’t been good enough of a soulmate for him. So the way he spoke so fondly about you now almost made you want to tear up. 

“Still, isn’t it bothersome?,” you mumbled, trying to distract from how flustered you were. “What if you want to date? Wouldn’t they be put off if they knew you had a soulmate?” 

“What, are you worried about my love life?” Hyunjae grinned, “Or is it you who’s bothered, because you think the reason you can’t get any is because of me? Trust me, y/n, that’s not why. It’s just not very attractive to have blood gushing out of your nose.” 

“Shut up. I was being—” 

“But I might be willing to take responsibility anyway.” 

“—serious,” you completed your sentence, before what he’d said actually reached your brain. “What?” 

He shrugged. “I’m just saying. If you’re worried about ending up all alone because no one wants a klutz like you, you always have a soulmate to fall back on.” When he looked up, his expression was serious, eyes not shying away from yours. “Fall back on me.”

You’d been sitting way too close this entire time, with him tending to your face, but now that he was looking at you so intently it suddenly made you feel nervous. You almost wanted to pinch yourself to make sure this was actually happening. When you replied your voice came out quiet and a little raspy. “I don’t think it’s considered falling back if I never wanted anyone else to begin with.”

A silly smile spread on his lips, making his eyes form crescents. “It’s because I’m so cool, right?”

You shook your head in disbelief before you let your forehead bump into his. “It’s because you’re such an idiot.”

“Hm,” he hummed, his gaze dropping to your lips, before coming back up to your eyes again. “I think I can live with that.”

You weren’t sure who closed the gap between your lips. Maybe it was you, but it didn’t seem to matter either way, because he cupped your jaw and kissed you back. It tasted a bit like iron and a bit like disinfectant and it still made your heart flutter.

“You know,” he eventually mumbled into your lips with a grin, “your nosebleed is making this kinda gross.”

“Don’t ruin this for us.”

“I’m not ruining it. I’m making it special.”

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[itsbeeble]

Doll

Summary: You and Hyunjae had never really gotten along. But, since he was your brother’s best friend, you couldn’t exactly avoid him your whole life. Especially now that Sangyeon has enlisted Hyunjae to help you study for your classes.

Genre: Fluff, Smut, e2l (kinda)

Pairing: brother’s best friend!Lee Hyunjae x afab!reader

WC: ~6.5k

WARNINGS UNDER CUT

Warnings: Uhhh public sex (car sex), slight age gap (Hyunjae is two years older than reader), oral (m and fem receiving), pet names, switch!Hyunjae, switch!reader, Haknyeon might be scarred for life, swearing, mentions of chemistry, they make out in a library, face-fucking kinda, threats, reader almost kicks the bucket, Hyunjae jumps out a window, Sangyeon is NOT happy, idrk there’s a lot happening MDNI!!!

A/N: Yeah this is uh... yeah

~

“This is so easy, how are you not understanding?” Hyunjae is hunched over beside you, scowling at the seemingly infinite number of red marks he’d made on your worksheet. You scoff at him.

“Sorry to burst your little bubble, Lee Jaehyun, but maybe you should consider the fact that Chemistry doesn’t come easy for everyone.” Maybe take that stick out of your ass and you’d see that.

Lee Jaehyun, or as most people like to call him, Hyunjae was a straight A student. He was nearly perfect in everything. Perfect grades, perfect voice, perfect face, perfect body. He was perfect when it came to the sports he played, he had the perfect family and home. The only horrid thing about him was his attitude. 

He was cruel. To you, at least. Maybe just to you, his best friend’s little sister. Maybe he just didn’t like you because you always seemed to be around, always trying to one-up him in everything related to school. Trying to be better than him at math, at english, at extracurriculars. You joined the debate team in high school just to spite him. And he’d be damned if he ever said he felt threatened by you. 

If you were being honest, you really didn’t hate him. You liked him, even though he clearly didn’t care for you. You looked up to him, similar to how you looked up to your brother, but Hyunjae was different. He wasn’t just your brother’s best friend. At some point you started going out of your way to try to impress him, even if it never ended well for you. You wanted to spend more time with him, get to know him more. 

“I would think that you’d be decent at this,” he sneers at you, “given how you seem to be so good at everything else.” You bite down on your tongue and turn back to the worksheet. The mistakes you’d made were so silly, so you understand why he’d be confused that you’re getting them wrong. Simple miscalculations when balancing equations, simple miscalculations for enthalpy. All of them were simple, and yet somehow you consistently got them wrong. “Your brother wouldn’t be making these mistakes. I thought you idolized him.” 

“I’m not Sangyeon,” you snap. “Plus, why would he be taking a chemistry class as an Econ major? He doesn’t need this shit.”

“Gen eds, doll.” Hyunjae smirks at you. “We all had to do them at some point.” 

Your tongue was starting to hurt from how hard you were biting on it to avoid yelling at him. You’d forgotten that Sangyeon and Hyunjae were already in their third year of college while you were barely starting your second. 

“Don’t call me doll,” you slide your chair forward and lower your head. “Give me another worksheet.” Hyunjae shakes his head. “Dude, give me a worksheet. Let me try again.”

“I’m not giving you another worksheet,” he says as he begins to pack up his things. “You clearly aren’t understanding anything I’m teaching you, so why should I keep helping?” You rise from your chair at the same time as he does, your eyes going wide. 

“There’s no way you’re giving up because I get mixed up sometimes.” He looks down at you, almost annoyed that you’re still talking to him. “Lee Jaehyun, you cannot be serious.”

“I’m dead serious, doll. I don’t know why your brother asked me to help you when it’s clear there’s nothing I can do for you.” He turns to walk away, and your hand latches onto his wrist, attempting (and failing) to pull him back. He’s taller than you and definitely a lot stronger. You barely even get him to wobble on his feet, and he hardly stops walking toward the exit of the library. Now, you’re just being dragged along with him. 

“Why do you hate me so much?” You jog to stand in front of him, walking backwards (in hindsight, you should’ve known that was a bad idea). “Like, I’ve never done anything wrong to you but you just fucking hate me for no reason. Why?” He’s looking down at you while he walks, jaw tense and eyes narrowed into a glare. 

“You’re stuck up and think you’re better than everyone.” 

“Yeah, but so do you!” You argue. 

“You’re more annoying about it though. Like everyone has to know that you think you’re better than them.” He spits out, and the two of you stop walking, standing outside of the library. The cold air of November bites into your skin, slipping through the gaps of your knit sweater. “You just have to brag about every achievement you get, about every goal you make in soccer, and every award you get from school. You think you’re just some fucking princess that everyone needs to bow down to.” 

“Again, you’re the same way!” You snap. You’re walking backwards again, hardly paying attention to where you’re going with how focused you are on Hyunjae. “You’re constantly shooting me down, when all I’ve ever done is look up to you! All I’ve ever done is try to impress you, but you just have to make me feel bad about myself huh?” 

Hyunjae’s eyes widen a fraction, his lips parting as he listens to you talk. He’s not walking any longer, but you are. You’re backing toward the stairs leading to the parking lot and he reaches forward to stop you.

“Doll,” he tries to get your attention but you’re on a tangent now.

“Maybe I went too far sometimes, but it’s only because you’re my brother’s best friend and I wanted you to notice me!” 

“Doll,” Hyunjae tries again and takes a step forward. You’re getting closer to the first step, just inches from backing off the edge. 

“But you’re right. Little old Lee Y/N can’t possibly be worth helping, she’s too dumb for you isn’t she? She isn’t enough for you to not—” 

“Y/N!” Hyunjae lurches forward when your foot slips from under you. For a moment you flail in the air, arms waving while you attempt to get your balance. Your brother’s best friend grabs one of your arms, yanking you toward him and pressing you tightly to his chest. Your body spun, and you found yourself pressed against the railing, your face squished against the tall man who had his arms wrapped fully around you.

You can feel your heart pounding, and you can feel his own, It’s rapid against your cheek, slamming against his ribs. He’s warm. His body is warm, and your hands tighten around his jacket. Call it desperation, but you know this is the only time Hyunjae would ever touch you and you wanted to make the most of it while it lasted.

“Are you dumb?” Hyunjae pulls you away from you, holding you an arms-length away while he scans you over. “Why the fuck would you walk backward near a staircase?” He looks angry, and you duck your head into your chest. 

“I’m sorry,” you mutter, “I know it was stupid but I just—” 

“What if you had gotten hurt, doll?” He interrupts, his grip on your shoulders tightening. “What then, huh? I’d never be able to forgive myself.” 

“Didn’t realize you cared that much about me,” you try to joke. His frown only deepens, and you begin to shrink in on yourself. 

“Of course I care about you!” Your heart begins to pound again. “You’re my best friend’s little sister, why wouldn’t I care about you?” And then it sinks. You just got best-friend’s-little-sister-zoned. 

You wonder if he ignored everything you’d said before the fall. Maybe he did. Maybe it’s for the best that he did. Save yourself the rejection, move on with your life. Easy enough. 

“I dunno,” you shrug, “figured you hated me enough to let me fall.” Hyunjae scoffs and grabs you by the arm to start dragging you back to the car.

“Idiot.”

~

“So what you’re telling me,” Haknyeon sits across from you, his chemistry textbook open but going ignored as he listens to you talk about what happened with Hyunjae. Since the staircase…incident he hasn’t spoken to you, and you really needed to pass chemistry so you enlisted your friend to help. “He calls you doll, acts like he hates you, then you confess to him and fall down the stairs, he saves you in the most romantic way, then brother’s-best-friend-zones you?” 

“Yeah, pretty much,” You dig your pencil into your lip, listening to it click while you read through one of the practice problems that Haknyeon gave you. “And since then he hasn’t spoken to me.” 

“What a dick. You’re doing that one wrong, by the way.” He slides his chair across the library’s old carpet to sit next to you. “Finding the delta-H of a reaction is products minus reactants, not the other way around.” His shoulder is brushing against yours while he explains and writes down how to do the problem correctly. 

One of the doors to the library opens and you glance up, almost immediately locking eyes with Hyunjae. Your stomach sinks when he narrows his eyes at Haknyeon.

“Oh shit,” you mutter, dropping your gaze again.

“Please don’t tell me that Lee Hyunjae just walked into the library and currently looks like he wants my head on a spike.” Your friend is now frozen, speaking quietly out of the corner of his mouth.

“I will not confirm nor deny any of what you just said.”

“If that man kills me, I will kill you.” Haknyeon hisses, and you just smile at him. Hyunjae is sitting at a table nearby, and you feel that familiar sinking feeling in your chest when he looks at you again.

“He’s not gonna kill you. Laugh as if I said something funny.” You jab him in the side and he starts cackling loudly, gathering the attention of several other students around you. “Not that loud, genius!” He quiets his laughter, and you can see the flush rising on his cheeks. “God you’re dumb.”

“What am I supposed to do? The hottest man I’ve ever seen looks like he’ll snap me in half if I touch you! I’m terrified!” He grabs you by the shoulder, and you hear his chair scrape against the ground. “Oh god he’s gonna kill me and it’s your fault, you bitch.” 

“Y/N,” Hyunjae’s hand comes to rest on your shoulder, and he bends down to the opposite ear so you can hear him better. Your body goes rigid, and you feel his breath brushing against the side of your neck. “A word, please?” You turn your head, leaning back so you aren’t so close to him. He’s staring at you, a mix of emotions swimming in his eyes. 

“Uh,” you glance at your friend, but he’s already shoving his face back into his textbook. “Yeah, sure. Hak, I’ll be—”

“Yup, go ahead, have fun.” Your friend spits out and then Hyunjae is pulling you up and walking you toward a dark corner of the library.

“Is this where you kill me?” You joke, but he doesn’t laugh. He’s facing away from you, hands shoved into the pockets of a loose jacket. “Damn, killjoy much?”

“You sure move on fast, huh?” You reel back and he turns to face you completely, a small smile practically stapled to his lips. “With tutoring, I mean. You were able to replace me just fine.”

“Oh, uh,” you blink, “yeah I guess. Hak is a great…teacher? Jaehyun are you okay?” His jaw tenses before he responds again, taking a few steps toward you until he’s just inches from you, and you’re pressed against a bookshelf. 

“You know you’re the only person who calls me Jaehyun? Not even my own parents call me that.” His head is tilted, his eyes half-lidded while he looks at you. “Why is that?”

“I, um,” your brain is faltering, overwhelmed by him. The way he looms over you, the way his fingers dance across your waist, the way he’s looking at you like you’re his last meal. “I don’t— spite, maybe? Jae, you’re getting really…really close.”

“Does that bother you, doll?” He asks, he’s only a few inches away, and you’re getting the urge to lean up and press your lips against his. 

“N-nope. Not at all. In fact,” Your hands are wrapped around his jacket, holding him so he can’t step away from you, “this is great.” He smiles, and you don’t see joy in it. You see mischief and lust. 

“Really?” 

“Mhm.” One of his hands slides up to grip your chin between his thumb and pointer finger. 

“And what if,” his voice is just a whisper, his breath fanning your cheek when he tilts your head to the side. “I did this?”

His lips are warm against your skin. Warm, and soft, and your breath is hitching in your throat andd you know he can feel it. Hyunjae kisses your neck right below your ear, his teeth just scraping against the tender skin and his lips sucking gently. Your eyes are fluttering, your body leaning closer to his. His hand releases your jaw, finding its way back to your waist while your own hands slide up to tangle in his hair. 

He slides his lips down, trailing them across your neck and sucking little pink marks into the skin. 

“Should—” you stumble over your sentence when Hyunjae pulls your shirt to the side, placing kisses to your collarbone. “Should we b-be doing this?” He hums, and the vibrations against your skin have you gasping.

“What do you mean, doll?” He pulls away, leaning back up to look you in the eye. His eyes are halflidded and dark, filled with the lust you had seen in his smile. Your jaw drops open a bit, your hands sliding back down to his shoulders when he leans toward you again. 

“I just— I mean— what would Sangyeon think?” Hyunjae rolls his eyes. “I’m seri—” He’s kissing you before you can finish that sentence. It’s a rough, searing kiss and the suddenness has you gasping. With your mouth now open, Hyunjae is able to slip his tongue into your mouth. It dances along your own, tracing every inch of the wet cavern of your mouth. Your lips are slightly chapped against his, and you wonder if he notices. You wonder if he cares, but the way he groans against your mouth tells you he doesn’t. That he cares only about the way your lips mold against his, the way your tongue dances against his own, and the way your body seems to fit perfectly to his. 

“Who—” his lips press against yours as he speaks, “cares— what— he— thinks?”

Hyunjae presses further against you, pressing you into the bookshelf, and you can feel the kiss becoming sloppy. You can feel the spit beginning to slide down your chin, but when you try to wipe it away your brother’s best friend pins your arm above your head. You squeak into his mouth, feeling him smile against you. 

He pulls back just slightly, catching your lower lip between his teeth and watching your eyes flutter, listening to the whine that escapes you. 

Hyunjae says something to you, something you don’t catch, and then he squeezes your hip.

“Sorry. What did you say?” He smiles, and this time you know he’s amused. There’s a little twinkle in his eye, and you find yourself smiling along with him.

“I said,” he drawls, “that we should get out of here.” 

“Oh…” you hum. “Yeah, no, yeah we should.” He tilts your head up again, his eyes narrowing.

“Are you okay, doll?” 

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” You reassure him, “Just…a little shocked, I guess?” 

“Shocked,” he echoes, tilting his head to the side. “Shocked about what, doll?” You shrug, your cheeks starting to burn from the way he stares at you. 

“You’re just…you’re a really good kisser.” You’re mumbling, but you know by the way his smile grows that he heard you.

“What was that?” He coos, turning his head so he can “hear you better”. You scoff. “I didn’t quite catch what you said. I’m a really good what?”

“I said you’re a dick,” you snap and push him away from you, your cheeks now blazing. He trails after you, practically giggling at the reaction he pulled out of you. Haknyeon is still at the table when you come into view and you see his eyes go wide when he sees you.

“What…happened to you?” You grab your jacket and bag, shaking your head. 

“I’ll tell you tomorrow, Hak.” You feel Hyunjae’s hand on the small of your back, urging you along and you watch your best friend’s eyes bug out of his head. 

“He— you— are you two—”

“She said she’ll tell you tomorrow, Hak.” Hyunjae says sharply, now firmly pushing you along. “Let’s go, doll.” 

~

You’re in his car, straddling his waist in the backseat. Your lips are pressed against his in a rough kiss, much sloppier than in the library. It’s a mess of tongue and teeth and spit and his skin is so warm against yours. Your hands are underneath his shirt, but his are under your own shirt. You can feel goosebumps rising on your skin where his hands trace. Your waist, your stomach, your back, underneath your breasts. He’s so gentle with you. You, on the other hand, are rough. Your hands are digging into the skin of his abdomen, sliding across his abs and up to his chest. He hisses when your nails dig into him, undoubtedly leaving little crescents into his golden skin. 

You pull away only briefly, a string of spit connected between the two of you. He’s staring at you with awestruck eyes, staring at the marks he left on your skin, at the knots he made in your hair, at the stretched collar of your shirt from where he pulled on it. 

“What happened to what Sangyeon would think?” Hyunjae’s hand slip to cup your ass over your jeans. 

“I’m not the one that’s gonna have to tell him that his best friend fucked his little sister in the backseat of his car in the library parking lot.” You tug your shirt over your head, tossing it to the front seat. To be fair, Hyunjae moved the car into the darkest corner of the lot, but his windows weren’t tinted and if security came around to check what was up, you’d both be fucked (in more ways than one). “Besides, should you really be worrying about that right now?”

Hyunjae lowers his mouth to your chest, placing wet, sloppy kisses to the soft skin while you unhook your bra and let it slide off your arms. 

“You’re really gonna make me do it? All on my own?” He gazes up at you and you can only smile at him.

“If you want me to suck your dick, yeah. You will.” His grip on your waist tightens and his eyes go wide. You lift his head, connecting your lips again as you begin to roll your hips against his. He hisses out, letting his head fall back at the sudden pressure against his growing erection. You let your eyes drift closed, enjoying the friction, enjoying the pleasure each roll of your hips sends up your spine until you decide it isn’t enough. Until the quiet, gasping breaths that escape the boy under you aren’t enough. Until you need more.

You force yourself off of him, pushing yourself as far back as you can in the cramped backseat of his car, the little waves of pleasure dissipating as you undo the button of your pants and begin to tug them down. Hyunjae watches you, eyes hazy and chest heaving under his shirt. You pause in your motions and stare at him with a cocked eyebrow. 

“What?” He exhales heavily and you scoff, kicking his leg. He hisses, lifting his head and glaring at you.

“You really think I’m gonna be the only one undressing? Take your shit off, Lee Jaehyun.” He sits up, leaning toward you. Challenging you.

“Why would I do that, doll?” He coos. “I quite enjoy the little show you’re putting on for me.” You can hear the little tremor in his voice, can see his cock straining against his jeans. You love the act he puts on, the way he wants you to think he’s in charge, so you play along.

You widen your eyes, playing the role of a desperate little girl. He may be older, but you’re smarter. You’ve known him long enough to get an idea of what he likes, just based on what you’ve accidentally overheard from his conversations with your older brother. 

“Jae,” you practically purr, leaning forward and letting him see the way you’re squeezing your breasts together with your arms. He watches you lace your hands together, tenses when you place them on his knees and bring yourself forward until your mouth is right next to his ear. His breathing hitches when your breasts brush against his chest. “Can you please take your clothes off, baby?” You press a gentle kiss to his jaw. “I promise I’ll be good.” 

He doesn’t respond, but you can hear him shuffling, hear the zipper of his pants and feel him shoving the garment down his legs as fast as he can. His shirt follows after, and you lean back with a pretty little smile on your lips as you slowly pull your jeans down. Hyunjae watches you carefully, practically drooling as more and more of your skin is exposed to him. More for him to touch, to feel, to play with. 

When the last bit of your legs is exposed and your jeans are thrown to the side, he tugs you onto his lap again. You both hiss when his fully erect cock presses against your core, when the slick fabric of your underwear brushes against him and leaves a small damp spot on his boxers. Your hand rises to the back of his neck, nails scratching gently as you begin to roll your hips again. 

You aren’t slow this time, you aren’t gentle with him. You grind against him as if you’re already riding his cock. You roll your hips in gentle circles, pressing down hard with each drag of your hips. This is the pleasure you were searching for. This is soothing the ache that had been building and building since the night at the staircase. 

You listen to the pitiful whines that leave Hyunjae’s mouth, listen to the gasps, and the pleas. You feel the way he lifts his hips to meet yours, thrusting harder and harder with each moan of his name that leaves your mouth. 

“D-doll,” Hyunjae whimpers, “Y/N, please. ‘M s-so close, doll, please.” 

“Please what, baby?” You lower your head to his neck, sucking harsh purple marks into his skin and running your tongue over each one to sooth the burn you know is there. “Hmm? What do you need from your doll?”

“You pro-promised,” he pleaded, squeezing at your hips and trying desperately to get you to stop. You can feel his dick twitching underneath you, and your hips only move faster and harder against him. You can see the tears welling up in his eyes. 

“What did I promise, Jae?” You ask. “Tell me.”

“You prom— promised you’d— that you’d suck me off.” You kiss your teeth, slowing your hips. Your own body is screaming at you, begging you for the release you’d just ripped away from both of you. You, unlike Hyunjae, are good at hiding how desperate you really are to have him inside of you. He’s still thrusting into you, whining at the loss of pleasure. 

“I did, didn’t I?” You run the back of your hand down his cheek and watch him lean into your touch. “I can’t let my baby suffer now, hmm? Not after he asked so nicely.” 

Hyunjae watches in awe as you slide to the ground in front of him, tugging his boxers down with you. He watches as you brush your hand over his leaking cock, running your thumb over the slit and digging in. He whines loudly, jerking his hips into your touch. 

You pull your hand away just briefly to spit into your palm, using that and the pearly liquid leaking from his tip to help run your hand up and down on his length, squeezing gently when you get closer to his tip. 

When your lips finally wrap around him, a shudder runs down Hyunjae’s body, his back arching and his head falling back. There’s a brief moment between when you first put your mouth on him to when you begin to suck, one where you just watch the older boy twitch and shudder under your touch. 

You don’t linger too long, shifting and rising a bit on your knees so you can take more of him down your throat. Your hands grip at his thighs, squeezing tightly when he hits the back of your throat and you have to hold yourself back from gagging. You pull yourself back up, suckling at his tip before bringing yourself back down onto him, taking a bit more of him into your mouth. You repeat these actions until you’re able to take all of him into your mouth. 

From there, when you take him down your throat you moan around him, letting the vibrations hit him until his hips jerk up and he’s sent impossibly farther down your throat before pulling yourself back up and digging your tongue into his slit and drinking in the precum that leaks from his cock. He’s a whining, blubbering mess, begging you to go faster. To make him cum. To do anything except tease him, but you don’t listen. You take your time, occasionally pulling off his dick entirely just to watch him suffer. 

“‘M close again,” he chokes out, barely heard above the sloppy noises of you choking on his cock time and time again. His eyes, up until this point, have been squeezed shut. He’s afraid that if he looks at you, he’ll bust right then and there. “Fuck, doll, please.” 

He makes the fatal mistake of opening his eyes, making direct eye contact with you. His breath hitches in his throat again, his chest tightening. You look so messy, drool running down your chin and onto his balls. Your make up is running down your cheeks, your hands squeezing so tightly at his thighs. 

It just takes you sending him into the back of your throat one more time for him to regain control of himself, gripping your hair and sitting up a bit. Your eyes go wide when he thrusts into your mouth the first time. He hears you gag, but he’s just so close. He’s so close, and he can’t help how his hips move faster and faster, each brush of his tip against the back of your throat sending him spiraling just a bit more out of control.

“You thought I’d just let you take control?” he hisses, tugging your face towards his hips when you try to pull away. He can hear your muffled sobs, hear you gagging on him. “Let you run this show? Pretty girl, you have no idea what you just got yourself in—to—” He stutters his last word, his eyes rolling into the back of his head while he empties his load into your throat. He hears you choke and pulls back, letting the last ropes of cum paint your cheeks and your chin while more spills out the side of your mouth. 

Hyunjae gasps for breath, watching you pull yourself back onto the seat with your back pressed against the door. He watches you run your fingers through the mess on the lower half of your face, bringing it to your lips. You whine at the taste of him, and he feels his cock twitching back to life already. 

Then he notices the lack of underwear on your body. Sometime between you taking control, and him forcing it back you stripped yourself of the last bit of clothing on your body. He turns toward you, wrapping a hand around each of your legs to spread you open. Your eyes are wide again, and you try to protest when he lowers himself to be face-to-face with your sopping wet cunt. 

“Such a pretty doll,” he murmurs, bringing a finger to your slit and collecting some of your juices. Your body twitches, trying to pull away from him but he just pulls you closer. “So cute, still trying to be in control of something.” 

He runs his tongue all the way up the length of your pussy, stopping to suck on your clit before bringing his tongue back down and repeating that again and again and again. You writhe underneath him, moaning loudly when he digs his tongue into you, practically fucking you with it before he’s slipping two fingers inside of you. You knew it would sting with just one of his fingers, but the burn of two fingers pushing inside of you and immediately beginning to pump in and out of you at a rapid pace has you crying out and curling away from him. He just holds you closer, his fingers scissoring in and out and his mouth sucking relentlessly and the knot inside of you is growing so tight, your body curling and your hands gripping his hair tightly. 

Then your body goes slack, your vision blurring and your ears ringing as you release all over the bottom half of his face. He doesn’t relent, doesn’t stop drinking up your release until you’re kicking your legs and shoving his body away from you. 

You both gasp for breath, trying to recover. Your body is tingling with your release and you can see Hyunjae leaning against the door opposite you, running his hand up and down his length while he watches you, waiting for his cock to become erect again so he can fuck you.

“So,” his voice is rough, “now that we’re somewhat even, I vote that we both tell Sangyeon that I fucked his little sister in the backseat of my car.” You roll your eyes.

“I just gave you the best suck of your life, and you think I’m gonna tell my big brother that his best friend fucked me? His best friend that’s two years older than me?”

“You’re 21,” Hyunjae frowns, “two years isn’t that bad. If you were 14 and I was 16, then it would be weird, but that’s not the case. We’re both legal adults in college.” His hand slows on his cock, but he keeps his fingers wrapped around the tip. You run your tongue over your lip.

“Jaehyun, I thought you hated me. What changed?” He shrugged.

“Simple. I never hated you. Sure for a while you were just my best friend’s annoying sister, but like…I dunno. I never really hated you, I just didn’t know how else to interact with you. What about you? I thought you hated being around me.”

“Yeah because I wanted to make out with you half the time you were around,” you roll your eyes and let your head rest against the steamed window. Hyunjae sputters out a laugh, throwing his head back and yelping when it slams against the glass. You gasp and jump forward, crawling over his lap to cradle his head.

“Shit, Jae, are you alright?” You run your fingers through his hair, feeling for where his hit his head. He lets his forehead rest against your collarbone, still laughing. “Why would you throw your head back like that?”

“You sure have a funny way of showing that you like me, you know that, doll?” His lips press gently into your skin and you flick the side of his head. He hisses under his breath and pinches your hip. 

“You worry me sometimes, Lee Jaehyun.” He hums and brings his hands to your hips. “You gonna fuck me now?” He kisses his teeth and pushes you off his lap until you’re on the leather seats again. 

“Hands and knees, doll,” he instructs and you grin.

“Ooh, doggy style. Didn’t think you liked that kind of thing.” You roll onto your hands and knees, lowering the front half of your torso until you’re able to lay your head on your hands and (sort of) gaze back at Hyunjae. You watch him pull a foil packet out of the center console and click your tongue. “Only use one if you want to. I’m clean and on birth control. As long as you’re clean and fine with it, you don’t have to.” You watch the man behind you shudder again.

“God, Sangyeon really is gonna fuckin’ kill me, doll.”

“Problem for tomorrow, really.” You suck in a sharp breath when you feel his tip pressing into your entrance. A quite whine escapes you at the stretch, and Hyunjae rubs your sides to sooth you while he continues to slowly press himself inside of you.

“Almost there, baby.” He assures you. “Just a bit over halfway.”

“Are you shitting me?” you whine. “Why the fuck are you so big?”

“Good genetics, doll.” You feel his hips against your ass and your body relaxes slightly. “Tell me when, okay?” 

“Just fucking go already,” you hiss, fighting through the stretch. “God, just fuck me Hyunjae, please.” Your hips roll back against his and he exhales shakily. 

“You’re gonna be the death of me.”

“It’s either me or my brother, pick one baby.” 

Your teeth dig into your lip when Hyunjae gives an experimental, shallow thrust into you. He pulls out a few more inches and thrusts into you again. When he pulls himself out all the way to the tip, he inhales sharply before plunging into you. Your body jerks forward at the force of it, a moan escaping you, and then he’s plowing into you at full force. 

Hyunjae drives his hips into you hard and fast, your body jerking forward so much that you have to grab onto the door to stop yourself from hitting it. The moans you let out become loud cries and screams of his name and you know that if there’s anyone left in the parking lot, they’ll know exactly what’s happening. You can only pray that they know better than to approach the window, pray that they can’t see the way you beg for Hyunjae to move faster, to go harder if that were possible. 

“Such a good, pretty girl for me,” Hyunjae tangles a hand in your hair, yanking you back into his chest. The new angle has his cock driving into that spongey spot inside of you time and time again. “So pretty like this, filled with me. But what would Sangyeon think, hm? What will he think of his pretty little sister getting fucked senseless by his best friend, someone he trusted to look after her while she studies?”

“F-fuck, Hyunjae, please!” You beg, clawing at his hands and his hips and the back of his neck. “Fuck, harder, baby, harder!’

“You want me to go harder baby?” Hyunjae coos, sliding one of his hands down to your clit. “Want your brother’s best friend to fuck you until you can’t breathe? Until you’re begging me to stop?”

“Yes,” you cry out, “please please please, Hyunjae!” He groans, loud and raspy in your ear and you can feel your abdomen starting to tighten okay. “Oh god, I’m so close baby please! So close, so close!” 

“I know baby,” he grunts, “fuck, you’re so fucking tight around me, doll.” 

His fingers are rubbing harsh circles around your sensitive clit, the callouses of his hands providing that delicious friction to drive you straight over the edge screaming his name and squeezing tightly around his cock like a vice until he can only grind his hips into you, and then he’s groaning and warm ropes of cum are filling you and spilling out around his cock. 

It takes the two of you a few minutes to recover before he’s pulling tissues and wipes out of his glove compartment and gently wiping away any traces of his release. When he gets to your face, he can only smile at the dazed look in your eyes.

“So, I take it I’m telling your brother?”

“You can bet your ass you are.” He hums and places a featherlight kiss to your lips. 

“You called me Hyunjae for the first time.” You hum.

“Don’t get used to it, Lee Jaehyun. It was heat of the moment.” He laughs, tugging his boxers and jeans back onto his body before helping you with your bra and underwear. 

“I meant it, you know.” He says when he’s got you situated in the front seat of the car. You look at him with tired eyes, enjoying the heat that comes with his car being on. Your seat is reclined so you can rest on your way home, and one of your hands is wrapped in Hyunjae’s. “When I told you that I never hated you. And if you’d let me, I want to take you out on a date after finals.” 

The thought brings a gentle smile onto your face.

“Only if Sangyeon doesn’t kill you first.”

~

It’s two days later when you force Hyunjae to tell him. The marks on your neck, and the scratches on Hyunjae’s haven’t faded in the slightest, and you know Sangyeon has been asking his best friend about them. 

You’d been sitting on your bed with your boyfriend when Sangyeon burst into the room, yelling at you about the dishes and stopping when he saw the two of you curled up on your comforter. You could see his mind trying to click everything into place, followed by your brother taking a few steps forward and Hyunjae sliding off your bed to get to your open window. 

“LEE JAEHYUN YOU’RE SO FUCKING DEAD!” Your brother screams out the open window while Hyunjae makes a run for his house, one hand thrown into the air. 

“WORTH IT!” You hear him yell, and you can’t muffle the laugh you let out before your brother turns on you with nothing but rage in those brown eyes of his. 

“Lee Y/N,” he hisses.

“In my defense, it was all him.” You back away from your brother, shuffling to the edge of your room.

“You’re dating my best friend?” 

“Maybe? Depends on how you react to either answer.”

“Oh, I’m gonna fucking kill you both.”

“Only if you can catch us!” You bolt out of your room, screaming when you hear him pounding after you. 

Maybe telling your brother wasn’t the best idea. But, then again, it was all worth it in the end. Dying young wouldn’t be so bad, at least in your eyes.

[stealanity]

playlist one , the boyz ( lsg to kvm ) :

ꕤ lee sangyeon ,

someone

⠀

[ 7:02am ]

[ 5:12pm ]

[ 6:14am ]

⠀

ꕤ bae jacob ,

summer love

birthday cake

melatonin

co-lover

white lily

⠀

ꕤ kim younghoon ,

corny jokes

reassuring hands

kinda miss you

i didn't forget

⠀

[ 1:02am ]

[ 2:45am ]

⠀

ꕤ lee hyunjae ,

suffocating ( written serie , discontinued )

this special look

stay

waffle

loser, lover

crazy

too late

only for practice

⠀

[ 9:32am ]

[ 4:35pm ]

[ 10:37pm ]

⠀

ꕤ lee juyeon ,

his s/o waking up in the middle of the night

cute little intruder

bad day, but good boyfriend

daydream

terrible idea

the bet

cold hands

risky

sick of you

⠀

[ 5:34pm ]

[ 10:45pm ]

[ 7:52pm ]

[ 8:57pm ]

⠀

ꕤ moon kevin ,

bad words

the little prince

⠀

[ 3:37pm ]

[ 11:23am ]

⠀

. . . link to maknae line !

[cupidjyu]

crocheted flowers

hyunjae x reader

when hyunjae, the man who you hate and who hates you in return, becomes your temporary bodyguard, the two of you surprisingly grow closer through misunderstandings and... flirting.

genre: enemies to lovers, royal au, bodyguard hyunjae, flirting, slow dancing, he's very strong, and very protective, yet so gentle, misunderstandings, past mistreatment mentioned notes: hahahahahaha word count: 13k

Even with your head resting on your palm, it still lolled down. Were your eyes being taped shut? Why couldn’t you keep them open? Maybe it was because you were crocheting late into the night. Still, this meeting couldn’t be any more boring.

“Are you listening, Your Highness?” 

Immediately, you jerked up, blinking your eyes rapidly. You looked around, squinting through your exhaustion. Everyone sitting around the table had their eyes on you–some looked concerned, some amused, and some… disappointed. 

“What? Yes, yes,” you stammered. “I’m listening.”

The stern-looking woman stared at you for a second before eventually nodding. She was horribly intimidating, though you understood why. She was the event organizer (you liked to call her party planner instead) so she had to ensure everything was perfect.

“The ball is confirmed to be two weeks from now…” 

You yawned, adjusting your clothes which were very uncomfortable, dare you add. When you looked around, you made eye contact with Haknyeon, your bodyguard. He grinned and mocked your sleeping form with exaggerated hand signs which you scoffed at quietly. When you moved your head to the side, your eyes landed on Hyunjae, your other bodyguard. 

Quickly, your mood soured just at the sight of him. You try to avoid speaking his name or addressing him at all, but whenever you do, it’s spoken with a harsh, uncaring tone. It’s not like he didn’t share the same feelings.

He raised an eyebrow, leaning forward and tilting his head. Then, he glanced down at the papers set in front of you that you were supposed to be looking over right now.

Focus, he mouthed.

Your jaw clenched and you tore your gaze away from him stubbornly. Th2ough, you did actually decide to tune into the meeting. You were pretty sure you heard your name about three times.

“As requested by the King, Y/n’s escort will not be a prince from another land. At least for now. Instead, her escort shall be her personal bodyguard.”  

You perked up at that. You’ve always despised the possibility that you would be forced to walk into a ball with some stuck-up prince that you had met just a minute ago. With a smile, you turned to look at Haknyeon. He was your personal bodyguard, the one who follows you around all day. Hyunjae on the other hand, had the role of guarding your door. So thankfully, your escort was Haknyeon and not him.

But to your surprise, Haknyeon quickly looked away with a sheepish look. You furrowed your eyebrows. Did he not want to be your escort? 

Please no, I can’t go with Hyunjae. Anyone but him.

After the meeting, you walked out, still slightly groggy after your mid-meeting nap. Instantly, Haknyeon was by your side like the perfect bodyguard that he was. You sighed, holding your stomach as you turned to him. “Do you want to eat lunch with me during your break?” 

Yet again, he gave you a guilty look. “I have something… to do.” 

“Oh,” you breathed. “That’s okay. Just make sure to make it up next time,” you playfully replied.

“Of course, Y/n.” He grinned back. That was another thing you liked about Haknyeon. He didn’t often call you ‘Your Highness’ which you always felt was too proper. You liked it when he called you just by your name. 

“Want me to save you dessert?” You giggled.

He hummed, his eyes sparkling just at the thought. “You know me so well.” He glanced back at one of the staff calling him over. “I’ll be right back.”

You nodded and watched him jog over to pick up some equipment. Haknyeon would always be your favorite bodyguard. He was kind and had a great sense of humor. Especially after following you around and protecting you for a few years, he knew a lot about you compared to really… anyone else.

You heard a shift behind you and you whipped around. Your alert state quickly dissolved into an annoyed one as you faced Hyunjae who was leaning against the wall, right next to you. 

You narrowed your eyes. “Why are you here? Aren’t you supposed to go back to your post?”

He turned to look at you before turning to face the wall. He liked to do that–ignore you rudely. “Haknyeon’s occupied right now. You can’t be alone.”

You roll your eyes and clenched a fist. Oh, how you hated his stupid, unimpressed expression and his even stupider arms that were crossed over his chest. “I don’t need your help,” you gritted out.

“And I don’t want to help you. This is just my job.” He merely glanced at you. 

You swore you saw red as you stepped forward. “You–” 

You were then startled by Haknyeon who appeared behind you, gently guiding you back from possibly pouncing on one of your bodyguards. “Y/n,” he laughed nervously as he pulled you along in the direction of your room. “I think you’re tired. How long have you been crocheting?”

“A few hours,” you muttered. “But still, I’m not tired. He’s just so… obnoxious. And mean! And–” You just groaned, completely frustrated.

Being born into a royal family, you naturally already had enemies, most of them being from other lands or old classmates you used to argue with. But you didn’t pay them any mind. The only enemy that you did pay mind was Hyunjae, your own bodyguard. You hated him so much.

He was strict with you and never treated you nicely. He never even gave you a reason for doing so. It was like he woke up on the wrong side of the bed, every single day. He always had these snarky responses and annoyed glares directed only at you. You just couldn’t stand him. 

And that is why you would like to sincerely thank whoever invented hot showers. You didn’t care if it practically burned your skin, it always let off those knots in your muscles whenever you interacted with your arch-nemesis bodyguard. With damp hair and your sleepwear on, you headed back to your room.

Usually, at this time, Hyunjae was on his break, meaning he wouldn’t witness you without your usual attire and with messy, disheveled hair. You were always expected to look your best in front of others, whether you liked them or not.

But just as you turned the corner, you stopped abruptly in your tracks, almost slipping on the floor. His post was supposed to be empty yet he was standing right there. 

Cautiously, you approached your door with an annoyance already creeping up your spine. “Why are you here?”

“Funny, that’s the second time you asked.” His eyes narrowed when he noticed you tensing at his words. “Again, it’s my job. My break got pushed back.”

You took in a deep breath as if that would do anything to calm your anger. “You’re so… rude. What would your boss think?”

“Technically, you’re my boss.”

You blinked in realization before quickly schooling your face neutrally.

“And even so—“ He paused when he heard a sound from down the hallway. He almost became… alert. Sometimes, you forget that he was still a bodyguard. When he realized it was just a broom that had simply fallen over, he relaxed and turned back to you. “I couldn’t care less.”

“You’ll care when I fire you,” you spoke through your teeth. Yet, he only stared at you unimpressed.

“But you know that I’m the best option. How could you let me go?” He faked a pout. You stayed quiet, knowing that he was right. The other bodyguards were a bit too… energetic and admiring for your liking.

You sighed, glancing at your door. “Still, you shouldn’t see me like this.” You eyed yourself who was the opposite of put together right now. “There’s a reason why I wanted you on break.” You looked away, slightly embarrassed.

You could feel his eyes on you, or more specifically, traveling over you. Then he hummed, almost amused.

“I see no difference, Your Highness.”

“Ah, so you’re a liar too.”

He looked like he was about to refute but he eventually sighed and gestured to your room. “Just go to your room.”

—

The next day, you stood at the entrance of the same meeting room. When the door opened, you were met with the sight of your two bodyguards as well as the event organizer standing, seemingly waiting for you. You gulped. Were you in trouble for falling asleep? No, that can’t be.

“What’s this about?” You spoke nervously. Your eyes landed on Haknyeon, who was frowning and giving you pitiful eyes. You furrowed your eyebrows. “Are you okay?”

The woman cleared her throat. “Everything’s perfectly fine. Your bodyguard here…” She gestured to Haknyeon. “Was granted a month of vacation to go back home.”

You immediately brightened at those words, bounding over to Haknyeon and hugging him tightly. “That’s great!” You exclaimed. “You deserve it. So much.”

Haknyeon smiled back but frowned afterward. “I’ll miss you though,” he whined.

“Hey, it’s only a month. Besides, you should enjoy yourself.” 

“…and,” the woman continued. “That will mean that Hyunjae will temporarily take his place as your personal bodyguard.” 

That was when you froze, going so silent you could hear a pin drop. You turned to her with your mouth agape and your heart fallen to the floor. “What.”

She only offered a measly smile while you could only stare in disbelief. Was this possibly your punishment for taking a nap during the meeting? Have you been chosen for torture on this planet? Why—

“Why couldn’t you choose anyone else? It could be anyone but him.” You glared at Hyunjae who also seemed surprised and agitated.

She pinched the bridge of her nose with a long sigh as if she expected this response. “Because Hyunjae knows more about you than any of the other bodyguards. He’s the best choice who is aptly strong and calm, especially for someone of your energy.”

“But you know we don’t get along,” you refuted. 

She frowned but eventually nodded, understanding your argument. “Your Highness, if you would really like to request a change then let me know. But if you were to keep your relationship with him strictly professional, then there should be no problems.”

“I…” You bit your lip. You wouldn’t lie and say you didn’t want to change, but you also hated the idea of being a burden, especially for someone who was so preoccupied with setting up the ball. Shutting your eyes with a wince, you groaned quietly in defeat. “Fine. I guess we can manage for a month.”

“Great!” She clapped enthusiastically while Haknyeon snorted in amusement. “I’ll be off now.”

Once she was gone, you could hear your now former bodyguard laugh, clearly enjoying the show. Then he stepped forward and turned to Hyunjae with a knowing look.

“What are you waiting for?” His tone was nothing but teasing. “Go stand by Y/n.”

Hyunjae stared at him, obviously annoyed before reluctantly going to your side. You looked up at him before rolling your eyes. He was awfully tall, which made it a lot harder to really argue with him.

“What a view,” Haknyeon laughed even louder. 

“I don’t want to do this either,” Hyunjae whispered, looking at you with a harsh demeanor.

“At least we agree on something.”

—

You stalked through the halls, your mood completely ruined. What exasperated you even more was the footsteps trailing behind you, belonging to your new temporary bodyguard, the one man that you despised.

You stopped abruptly and turned around.

“Can you just not follow me? I think I can manage on my own. I especially don’t want to be with you.”

He simply looked at you without budging. “You know I can’t do that, Your Highness.”

You sighed at his mocking tone, exasperated before turning around and beginning to walk again. Well, before you stopped abruptly once more, causing Hyunjae to almost bump into you. Something just dawned on you, leaving your chest seizing for air.

“Does that mean you’re my… escort for the ball?” You seriously contemplated somehow pushing back the ball until next month. There was no way it would be in two weeks when you would have to enter the ballroom with your hand on his arm.

He nodded wordlessly, obviously not happy about it either.

“God, I hate this,” you mumbled, leaning your head back. “You’re going to be the worst bodyguard ever.”

“And do you think I really consider that important?” He stared back at you condescendingly. 

“You–” Stepping forward, you completely forgot that there was still that broom on the floor. How come no one picked it up? Maybe you should have been more aware. Being the clumsy person you were, your foot quickly caught onto it, leaving you stumbling forward. This was why it was important you had a bodyguard following you around.

You were about to accept your fate of a broken nose until you felt a cool hand grasp your wrist that was flailing mid-air, holding you up. You blinked in surprise, looking up only for you to realize that you were alarmingly close to Hyunjae’s face. 

He didn’t seem at all fazed though, watching as you, on the other hand, were incredibly shocked over his sheer strength of being able to hold you up with one hand. 

“I wouldn’t advise stepping there.” If you looked closely, you could see the corners of his lips lift slightly at his own remark. “There’s a broom on the floor.”

You scoffed, pulling away harshly. “Thank you so much for the warning.”

“Anytime.” He faked a bow.

“Oh, you–” You paused before you would fall over again. “You know what? Just shut up. Let’s just not talk for a month.”

“Fine by me.” 

As you walked, you were surprised to hear that there were no footsteps behind you anymore. With curiosity getting the best of you, you turned around, only to see that he had stopped to pick up the broom and set it back up.

“Huh,” you breathed, slightly surprised.

(Hyunjae sighed, sitting down on the couch and throwing an arm over his eyes. He was exhausted and he had only followed you for an hour. How was he going to do this every day and for a month at that?

He heard a creak and the weight of someone else sitting beside him. Looking over, he was met with Haknyeon, again with a gloating expression. It seemed that he had brought his luggage over, already packed and ready to leave him with you. Alone.

“Excited?” The shorter grinned smugly.

“Don’t kid me,” Hyunjae sighed with a frown. “I honestly wished they would have requested another guard at this point. All I was supposed to do was guard the door, not follow them around all day.”

Haknyeon hummed thoughtfully before leaning back with him. “Can I ask you something?” When Hyunjae offered no response, the younger continued. “Why do you hate Y/n so much? What did they do to make you despise them that much?”

Hyunjae paused before letting out a low sigh. “Nothing. I just… I’ve had my fair share of royalties.” His mind flashed back to when he used to be in one of the lower ranks of the staff. He was never treated right, always pushed around and spoken to harshly by none other than the royal family who promised that they would protect him with all their being. Lies. He had always wanted to be a bodyguard. But in the process of becoming one, he realized just how cruel people can be.

And so, when he was actually promoted to be one, he already entered the position with low hopes and crushed dreams. He expected the exact same treatment from you.

“Y/n’s probably just the same.”

Haknyeon looked at him sympathetically, as if to tell solely through his eyes that he understood where he was coming from. “But Y/n’s different. I promise you that. After spending so much personal time with them, trust me when I say that they’re not like the others.”

Hyunjae could only shut his eyes before mumbling a quiet, “Enjoy your vacation. I’ll be suffering.”)

–

“Please stop staring,” you forced out. You knew that just the day before you had suggested not talking, but something about his… face as he looked at you through the reflection of your mirror bothered you so much to the point that you had to say something. His eyes were different than you expected as if he was almost interested in you getting ready for an outing.

But then, as obnoxious as he was, he faked a smile, leaning back against the wall. “I can’t do that, Your Highness. What if someone’s out there to hurt you?”

“That’s unlikely. So please stop whatever it is you’re doing.”

“I’m merely looking at you. Does that make you nervous?” 

Your face contorted with anger at his words. “Hyunjae!” You groaned, setting down your makeup brush with a loud thud and turning around to glare at him.

“What?” He muttered.

“This is just for one month.” You straightened and walked over to him. You tried to look somewhat intimidating but knowing that he was the one whose job was to protect you, it was a bit difficult. “Can’t you be the least bit tolerable? I don’t even know why you hate me so much.”

He stared at you wordlessly before looking away with his jaw clenched. “I have my reasons.”

You huffed. “Well if you would tell me, maybe we could have worked this out.” Your shoulders hurt with how tense they were as you began to walk backwards. But yet again, you tripped. This time, it was on the carpet—the fancy type that seemed impossible to walk on.

Unlike before though, you fell backwards. One day you were going to end up with a broken bone. Your life flashed before your eyes until you felt a strong hand wrap around your waist. 

Quickly, he pulled you up and right against his body. Without you realizing, you had planted your hands on his chest, creating the distance that was very minimized considering how firmly he was holding you. You could feel the wind get knocked out of you, out of breath as you stared at Hyunjae with wide eyes.

His eyes searched your features carefully. His expression was mostly the same except for how the harsh lines on his face had disappeared for some reason.

“I said you can’t get hurt.” His voice was also… less harsh.

You gulped as you lifted your hands off his chest. But some part of you kept your fingertips there, feeling his heartbeat drum against them. Your cheeks felt warm as you stared at him wordlessly, trying to come up with some sort of response.

“I…” Your voice wavered. “I wish you were bad at your job.”

And to your surprise, he smirked. “Oh? Are you saying that I’m good at protecting you?”

Your hands wandered down to his which still grasped your waist. You squeezed it, reminding him to let go because, for some reason, he forgot. He raised an eyebrow suggestively.

“Do not put words in my mouth.” And when he still didn’t let go, you grabbed hold of it instead, pulling it off and ignoring the spark you felt at his touch.

—

It would no longer be Haknyeon following you around the whole day. It would be him. Oh, how you hated him. You hated your clumsiness as well, considering that he kept on saving you by holding you with the sheer strength of just one arm.

Refreshed after a good night’s sleep, you opened your door before jumping at the sight of Hyunjae standing before you. Yet again, you were reminded of how annoyingly tall he was as he stepped aside for you.

“Your Highness,” he greeted with a lazy voice.

You stared at him silently before turning on your heel and heading down the hall. But no matter how fast you walked and no matter how many turns you took, he remained behind you.

(Hyunjae followed silently as you traversed through the never-ending halls. He had never seen a royal member willingly walk through the whole castle before, or even leave their section at all. 

He watched, intrigued and curious as you turned every corner, occasionally knocking on doors and peeking in. You seemed to be having conversations with whoever resided inside. That was what perplexed him more. You were in the section of the castle where the staff stayed.

If he walked closer or you would slow down slightly, he could hear you mumbling to yourself, as if to make a to-do list.

“Make… soup…no!…she’s allergic.” 

He couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow in pleasant surprise.)

“What’s the rush?” He remarked, just as you were finished speaking with one of the maids. 

You glanced back at him. “I have much to do. If you don’t want to follow, then go as you please.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that I can’t do that?”

You stared at him for a moment before sighing. At least he was dedicated. “Then hurry up you… turtle.”

You must have been dreaming because why did his lips lift up into a smile for a second? And how come you heard a chuckle?

And then, to your slight shock, he sped up so that he was walking by your side. Even if you tried to confuse him by taking shortcuts, he continued to accompany you.

“You—“

“Just doing my job, Your Highness.”

You rolled your eyes at the way he always addressed you.

—

First, he followed you to the kitchen. He guarded the doorway, as always leaning against the wall. 

You felt his eyes on you as you moved past each cabinet, pulling out ingredients for your most beloved specialty: pancakes! You knew the measurements by heart and soon enough, the batter was already mixed and being poured into a pan.

You could see him tilt his head in the corner of your eye.

“What are you cooking for?” He spoke up. “You do know we have chefs for that.”

“I know that.” You flipped the pancake successfully for once. “Just… one of the staff fell sick so I wanted to make her something.”

His eyes widened slightly as he straightened up at your words. It seemed like something you said had shocked him, though you had no idea what. And when you glanced back at him, you realized that his stiff demeanor had slightly softened. Was it because you were simply cooking for a staff member? Was that so odd?

Brushing off the hair that fell over your face, you jerkily turned back to the pancakes before they burned. It was silent for a while yet you couldn’t help but shake off the feeling of Hyunjae staring at you as if trying to decipher what you were doing. 

(Hyunjae watched and watched, yet continued to become more and more perplexed. You were spending your energy cooking for a staff member rather than ridiculing them for every mistake they made? His eyes followed you around the room, completely shamelessly as you moved back and forth, making what looked like fluffy pancakes.

But slowly, his gaze moved from your movements to, well, your features. Something about how you looked was almost mesmerizing. Gone were the prim and proper, perfectly hair-sprayed styles. Instead, your hair was messy, falling over your eyes constantly which he couldn’t help but hum with amusement. 

You were also void of any heavier makeup, allowing him to see your features more clearly. Your eyes were focused yet shone without any glitter and your lips… pursed but… 

He awkwardly cleared his throat. What was he thinking? He wasn’t supposed to look at you in that way.

Luckily, you hadn’t noticed his staring.)

He was staring. He was definitely staring. 

Why? You weren’t too sure. Maybe he was plotting a plan that would lead to your demise. Typical of him. But, you were too focused on cooking that you decided to pay it no mind, hurriedly brushing your hair out of your face once again. 

A few minutes later, you glanced up, solely for the reason of shooting him a glare. A bit immature, but that was how you two usually regarded each other anyway. But, to your surprise, he was nowhere to be seen. And you expected to feel a sense of relief, but for some reason, something shot through your heart.

You were alone—without him to catch you. You gulped nervously and hesitantly turned back to your pancakes. Just as you finished the second-to-last batch, you felt a warm presence behind you. Before you could turn around, a hand brushed against the nape of your neck, sending shivers down your spine. And for some reason, you could immediately tell it was Hyunjae.

“What are you doing?”

He didn’t respond. Instead, you felt another hand grasp your hair, pulling it up and away from your face. He leaned closer from behind, peering at the side of your face to make sure he didn’t miss any strands. Suddenly, the room felt ridiculously hotter than before. You stayed utterly still and completely unsure of what to do. 

He was tying your hair for you. 

Once you felt your hair being fastened, you tried to whip around but you felt a gentle grip on your shoulders that made you face the counter once again. “Turn back around,” he muttered with a chiding tone. Bewildered, you stared at the wall, your heart pounding. Your hands gripped the side of the counter as you shut your eyes and cringed.

And if you thought he was done, he certainly wasn’t. His hands had left your hair and wandered down to your waist. Though he didn’t completely grasp it, that brief brush with his gentle hand sent you spiraling. You felt your apron tightening as he tied it again. It must have come loose earlier. Still, that didn’t answer your question as to why he was doing this all in the first place.

(Hyunjae did not enjoy this. He certainly wasn’t biting back a smirk as he noticed your reddening ears and your hands holding onto the counter for dear life. 

And just for a bit more fun, as he tightened the knot of the apron, he yanked you backward, sending you stumbling and falling back against his chest where he kept you steady, his hand ghosting just over your hip. He could tell you were trying to look angry as you looked up at him with a frown that looked more nervous and confused than intimidating. 

Slowly, he lost his battle with holding back a smile. But just before you could catch him, he leaned toward your ear and whispered, “You wouldn’t want to ruin your clothes would you?”

You gulped and he could see how flushed your cheeks were. 

“Why would you care?” You replied.

Hyunjae blinked and he quickly leaned away from you. He steadied you but created that distance that the two of you were most familiar with. Why did he care?)

Your mind was befuddled. The two of you were supposed to be arguing, throwing insults, and doing everything that had to do with hatred. But what was that? That was nothing like what you two were supposed to do. That was…

You shook your head out of your trance. He was probably just messing with you, trying to find your weakness to use it against you in the future. 

“Don’t startle me like that again,” you said shakily, flexing your hand nervously. You turned back to your unfinished batter and picked up the whisk, beginning to stir its contents. You would have been done with this already if it weren’t for his… assistance.

“Can I assist you once more?” He asked, this time appearing at your side. Your gaze hardened as you turned to him. Your hand came up to mindlessly swipe the hair off your face, only to find nothing because the very man right next to you had already tied it up. You scoffed and tilted your chin up, yet he only gazed back without emotion–except for that small bit of amusement behind the twinkle of his eyes.

“Fine, if you would be so kind.”

Hyunjae reached over, taking–prying, because you were that stubborn–the whisk from your hand and moved the bowl over. He began to mix and to your large dislike, he was much more efficient when doing so. You set your hands on the counter and watched. You tried to keep your eyes solely on his obnoxiously handsome face or on the batter being mixed in the bowl, but instead, your gaze wandered to his… arms.

Bodyguards always wore simple black and white suits–easy to move around, yet form-fitting enough to look formal. And that was what bothered you so much. Why, under his suit, could you see the muscles of his arm flex so clearly as he used the mixed? And why, with his suit on, did you start imagining it off–leaving him only in a white dress shirt and a loose tie? Your mouth went dry.

Your thoughts were rudely interrupted by his breathy laugh. You looked up, only to be met with a small smirk, barely visible, but enough to leave you embarrassed anyway.

“Eyes on the bowl, not my arm.” He nodded towards the bowl, already fully mixed for a while now, which you didn’t notice.

You suppressed a groan, elbowing him so that you could finish cooking. “Shut up, Hyunjae. You’re distracting me.”

“In what way?”

“You’re face is unbearable.”

“Hm, could have sworn it was my arms.”

–

After dropping off the pancakes to various staff member rooms that quickly filled with grateful smiles, you led Hyunjae out to the garden. He trailed behind you as you wandered the various, intricately carved trails, searching for the prettiest and brightest flowers. When you found the perfect patch, you immediately knelt down, slightly adjusting your hair. Carefully, you picked the flowers, bunching them into a basket.

Just like before,  it was silent. Well, up until Hyunjae decided to start a conversation again, as weird as it was. You would never get used to it.

“Your Highness.” His voice was softer.

You squinted up at him. “What?”

He gestured to the flowers being held in your hand. “Your hands will get dirty.”

“I know,” you sighed. You never particularly enjoyed the feeling. “But I noticed that some of the vases were empty. I’m going to refill them again.”

When there was no response, you looked up, only to see Hyunjae staring at you in surprise. His lips parted and his head was tilted ever so slightly. You noticed he did that often when he was confused. Almost like a… puppy. 

(Hyunjae’s chest felt tight. You had specific workers to fill up those vases and cook pancakes yet you… did those tasks on your own accord. Maybe Haknyeon wasn’t all too wrong. Maybe…)

You yelped. Immediately, Hyunjae was kneeling down, taking your arm, and pulling you up to stand. “Are you okay?”

You searched his eyes with bewilderment. “I-”

His touch was gentle and careful as he brought your hands up for examination. “You should have used gloves, Your Highness. I knew you would get hurt.” His thumb pressed comfortingly into your palm. 

“No!” You blurted out, causing him to jump. He looked up from one of your hands, completely missing the fact that he was so close that if he leaned any closer, he would be kissing the back of it. “I’m not hurt.”

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “You’re not?”

“No,” you argued with a scowl. “Did you not hear the loud thunder a few moments ago? It startled me that’s all.”

“Thunder?” He furrowed his eyebrows. And then he looked at you like something dawned on him. “Thunder,” he breathed. “You need to go back inside.”

“Wha– why?” You exclaimed, already being dragged down the trail. You stumbled after his strides as you silently cursed his long legs. Soon enough though, your question was answered with the sudden pour of rain over your heads. It was so heavy that it began to seep through your clothes, sending a shudder through your whole body. And that meant that Hyunjae, who was holding onto your hand, would feel it tremble.

He stopped abruptly and turned back around to face you. 

“What are you doing?” You asked hurriedly. “We still have a long way to…” Your voice trailed off once you realized what exactly he was doing. He was taking off the jacket of his suit, leaving him only in his white dress shirt and a messed-up tie. Huh. Didn’t you just imagine that back in the kitchen?

He stepped forward and he held the jacket up over your head, acting as an umbrella. “Ready, Your Highness?” Yet again, his face lacked any emotion.

“Yes,” you breathed. The two of you avoided running so as to not slip on the forming mud, but everything felt incredibly fast-paced anyway. Hyunjae, who continued to shield you from the rain, kept on stealing glances at you to make sure you were okay. Everytime you caught him, you would scrunch your nose and silently gesture for him to focus on getting back.

As you got closer, it was you who decided to steal a glance. You inhaled sharply when you realized that most of Hyunjae’s body was soaked by rain. His wet hair fell over his eyes and his shirt stuck to his skin. He was keeping you dry while he…

You hadn’t even noticed that you two were indoors already. Hyunjae let out an exasperated sigh, brushing a hand through his soaked hair.

“Did you not check the weather before you—“

You ignored his words, instead storming over and smacking him plainly on his shoulder. He stared at you, clearly unimpressed. He never seemed to flinch. 

You frowned, looking around for a towel, only for there to be none in sight. With a groan, you turned back to him. “You’ll catch a cold, you idiot.”

“I’ve had worse,” he replied.

“Like what?”

“Like when I had to work while having a fever.”

You gasped and your frown deepened. “That’s so mean, who made you do that? I must have a talk with them.”

“I don’t think you must. Not when the person is none other than your own cousin.”

You felt your heart drop to your stomach. You were always aware that Hyunjae wasn’t always a bodyguard. But to learn how he was treated previously…

You huffed and shook your head. “Cousin or not, that won’t change anything. If he treated you unfairly, then he deserves to be ridiculed.”

Hyunjae looked at you yet again, in surprise, his eyes slightly widened. So there’s finally more emotion in his face. “There’s no need, Your Highness. You do know that you’re supposed to hate me, right?”

You swallowed thickly. It hit you then. The two of you… hadn’t insulted each other in a while. It was weird but not something you were against.

“I don’t…” You sighed. “You’ve helped me a lot recently, so I— I don’t know. I want to repay you.”

“Okay,” he whispered. You looked up, trying not to pay attention to how attractive your bodyguard looked when soaked with rain. He was a lot more muscular than you thought, considering his shirt was see-through. “But this is my job, Your Highness. There’s nothing to repay.”

You grumbled. “I get to decide that.”

And to your pleasant surprise, he laughed. It was a nice sound and an even nicer change of pace with his usual stoic personality. 

“But thank you.” He smiled softly. “I appreciate it, Your Highness.”

You couldn’t help but smile back. You looked down to examine your picked flowers. But then you slapped your hand over your face.

“Ah, my basket. I forgot it.”

“Would you like me to get it for you?”

You glanced out the window. The rain was still pouring. “Don't be ridiculous.”

“I wasn’t. You spent a lot of time picking those flowers. I can get them for you.”

Your cheeks flushed as you looked away. You never thought he would go to such lengths for… you. Then again, it was his job. But it felt different either way. It felt like your heart was racing.

“Shut up,” you muttered. “Go dry yourself off instead.”

“Of course, Your Highness.” He tilted his head with a teasing smile. 

And for some reason, that smile and that soft gaze left you breathless.

—

After Hyunjae was all dry—now only wearing just a dress shirt and tie this time (much to your quiet enjoyment)—he followed you to your last stop of the day. The library. It was large and filled with rows upon rows of books that almost everyone couldn’t understand. You weren’t any different. You simply enjoyed the peace and quiet of the atmosphere, where you could crochet to your heart’s content.

You sat on a chair and tried to focus, but your mind was distracted—distracted by your bodyguard who was standing by your side silently. When Haknyeon accompanied you, he would start conversations or try to read one of the books. To say this was uncomfortable was a huge understatement.

You set down the needles and patted the chair next to you.

“Do you want to sit down?” You looked up at him. He gazed at you before reluctantly sitting down, facing you slightly.

There definitely was progress in your relationship with him but it was still painfully awkward. Every time the two of you would make eye contact, it would quickly break. Fidgeting hands, darting eyes, shifting in your seat—it was just so graceless.

“I’m not that bad,” you whispered, facing him with a soft smile. “You can talk to me.”

Hyunjae leaned back in his chair, stretching slightly. “I guess you’re not. But hm, I’m not too sure.”

“Hey.” You glared. This time though, your glare was playful and you even struggled to hold back a smile. “Say anything. Start a conversation. I promise I won’t bite.”

He huffed out a quiet laugh. “I never thought you would bite. You practically trip over air every time I look at you.”

You stuttered and your cheeks quickly started to feel warm as you quickly stared down at your lap. “I– I don’t mean to…” When you looked back up, you saw Hyunjae staring at you with sparkles of amusement in his eyes. “You’re making fun of me.”

“Sorry,” he laughed with clearly no trace of an apology. “Fine, I’ll talk.” He leaned forward, propping his elbows on his thighs as he gestured to your crocheted piece of work. Which hopefully, he could tell it was a scarf. “Who’s this for?”

You stared at him, slightly confused. But then you realized, oh, he had witnessed you cooking and picking flowers for others. He must have assumed you were making this for someone as well. You shyly shook your head, gripping your work in progress tightly.

“Oh,” you laughed nervously, tearing your gaze away with embarrassment. “It’s just for me actually. This is my favorite hobby.” Your voice gradually became quieter and quieter. The only person who was well aware of your love of crocheting was Haknyeon. So to share it with Hyunjae is…

He hummed quietly and you could tell he was interested, rather than judging. He didn’t say anything after, instead choosing to watch you crochet. Usually, you were great at crocheting. Amazing actually! But something about his silent gaze on your hands left them shaking causing you to make a lot more mistakes than usual.

After your nth mistake, you sighed and placed the unfinished scarf in your lap with a frustrated groan. You needed to do something–anything–to steer his eyes away from your hands. It wasn’t uncomfortable per se, but it was… nerve-wracking. For some odd reason, you felt your heart beat faster than usual.

Abruptly, you turned to him. “Do you want to learn?”

He froze as he eyed your intricate work. Then he shook his head softly. “This isn’t my type of thing.”

“Then what do you like? Or are you just a boring guy?”

He rolled his eyes. “I like to workout.”

You scoffed. “That’s such a you thing to enjoy.” Except, you didn’t make that statement just because you knew he was a bodyguard and had to be strong enough anyway. Really, you said it because you could not, for your life, get the image of him, rain-soaked with a tight shirt that clung to his body out of your mind.

He was quiet for a moment before he tilted his chin downwards, looking you straight in the eyes. You gulped nervously. Why was he staring at you so intently? When you looked closely, you could see a small teasing smile appear on his lips.

“Then how else do I catch you when you fall?” He paused and his voice lowered. “Your Highness.”

Now, it felt like your heart was in your throat. You cleared it desperately as you quickly turned away, hoping you were fast enough to hide your reddening cheeks. 

–

“Can’t I do something?” You complained. You twirled around and wandered through the various set-up tables. There were staff members everywhere, intricately putting up centerpieces and making sure that every tablecloth had not a single wrinkle, every plate was without a singular smudge and every flower was placed perfectly.

The head organizer, who was busy checking things off her important-looking clipboard, glanced at you before shaking her head in disapproval.

“No, you can’t.”

“Why?” You gave your best pleading look but she wasn’t even looking at you.

“This is our job, Your Highness. We don’t want to bother you.” 

“But–” She was already long gone, chasing down a guy who accidentally put a napkin backward.

Biting your lip, you glanced around and your eyes quickly landed on Hyunjae who was nearby, helping move things around for the upcoming ball. It was drawing near and you still weren’t completely sure about walking in with Hyunjae on your arm.

You hurried over to him and he was quick to notice you approaching. 

“Can I help? Please?” 

He looked you over. You were dressed in your more expensive attire which would make it harder for you to move around and help. But you still wanted to try anyway. He sighed and shook his head, much to your demise.

“No, Your Highness. I can’t afford you getting hurt.” You pursed your lips. But, before you could come up with some sort of snarky response, he suddenly leaned in. “Besides, I don’t think you’re strong enough,” he whispered before pulling away with a mischievous smile.

You shut your eyes and leaned your head back, annoyed. “I definitely am.”

He raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything. Instead, he walked past you to pull out one of the nearby chairs. “Then sit here for a moment. We’ll find something to do after I’m done.”

You nodded and sat down. You tried to look around but quickly found that your head began to hurt the more you tried to comprehend the chaos that was called setting up for a ball. And so, you decided to turn your focus back to the only person you could mostly comprehend.

Hyunjae was busy lifting heavy boxes. His sleeves were rolled up and his hair was slightly messy. But despite his disheveled look, he certainly was a very attractive man, you came to realize. Your eyes widened, as you looked him over. You studied his prince-like features and his broad build. You hadn’t even noticed that your whole face began to feel warm. 

You coughed awkwardly and quickly turned your gaze away. You focused instead on the utensils on the table nearby. What were you thinking? Staring at Hyunjae like that? 

Adjusting the fork countless times quickly became boring. You bit your lip and winced. 

It wouldn’t hurt to take one last glance, right? 

Slowly, very slowly, you turned your head, only to find that Hyunjae was nowhere to be seen. 

But then you heard a shift next to you and you startled, turning and looking down. And of course, there he was, kneeling before you. He was out of breath but god, he looked so handsome. His eyes were gentle and his lips lifted slightly as he looked up to you.

“Enjoying the view, Your Highness?”

Your lungs seized and you felt yourself go dizzy. As if you were stung by his words, you abruptly stood up and quickly turned away. You were sure you weren’t being that obvious... 

You heard him laugh fondly from behind as he stepped in front of you. No matter how many times you tried to avoid his eyes, he would bend down and force you to look anyway.

“You weren’t supposed to notice,” you muttered quietly.

“I guess.” He nodded. “But I like your eyes on me.”

If you weren’t at your breaking point then, you were now. You cringed with an incoherent sound and tried to walk away but you felt a gentle hand take yours. You whipped around, only to meet his expectant look.

“You said you wanted to find something to do, right?”

You sighed and reluctantly let him lead you through the ballroom. Hyunjae easily found a table that still needed to be set up while you… you were more focused on that whole situation from before. Every time you thought about it, you had to look away with reddening cheeks.

You glanced over to the empty spot in the middle of the ballroom which was designated for dancing. “Do you know what kind of dance there will be?”

Hyunjae looked at you as if you were joking. “The slow dance, is it not?”

“Still, that’s disappointing. I want something more fun.”

“Funny that you think there’s anything remotely fun at these types of royal events.” He abruptly paused and looked at you regretfully. He was staring at you like a deer in headlights over the fact that he just said that to you, a royal member. “Uh, I didn’t mean—“

You burst out laughing. “Don’t worry, I get what you mean.” You grinned mischievously. “We should leave early if that’s what you would like. I know a spot.” You led him out of the ballroom and began to walk through the halls. 

“That’s up to you.” He looked at you in amusement, easily catching up with your fast strides. “Not me.”

You pretended to think like you didn’t already have your decision in mind. “Then… I say we escape as soon as we can.” You gave him a playful wink.

To your surprise, Hyunjae smiled. It was a wide one this time, unlike the subtle or teasing ones from before. You tilted your head, slightly endeared. “Has anyone told you that you have a nice smile? You should do it more.”

“As you wish, Your Highness.”

You grimaced. “This is weird.”

“What’s weird?”

“You being so… obedient,” you whined. “I was just getting used to your insults.”

He huffed, slightly flustered. “I… I guess it’s because I’ve been wrong about you, that’s all.”

You widened your eyes and looked at him. “Really? How so?”

His gaze lowered. He looked almost embarrassed. “It was nothing too serious. I just… had past experiences when I wasn’t a bodyguard yet. I assumed you would be the same.” 

Your wide eyes immediately softened. You already knew who he was talking about and you never once agreed with them.

Your voice was quiet. “Is that why you hated me all this time?”

“Yes,” he whispered. “And I sincerely apologize.”

You gave him a soft smile and lightly bumped into his shoulder, making him look up from the floor. He still wore an ashamed face but you could see that his stern eyes had melted. “It’s okay. I’m sorry too.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“What do you mean?” You snorted. “I argued with you too. I should have tried to understand you first.”

He leaned closer to you as the exit came into view. “And I should have told you earlier. We weren’t the most mature, huh?”

You laughed loudly and you didn’t know what came over you but you suddenly grabbed onto his arm as you two walked through the door and out to the private garden. This one was different than the one you were in previously. It was closed off by glass walls, rather than out in the open. But most of all, it was romantic and even more beautiful with dim lighting and colorful flowers lining a trail.

Holding onto his firm arm, you felt a sudden sense of peace. You felt like you were truly safe and protected.

Who knew that the man that you would refuse to look at would become your bodyguard who made you smile more times than you expected?

He stared quietly at your arms that were looped around his and he cleared his throat nervously. You could see that he had even straightened up and became more alert.

You smirked at him teasingly. “Why, do you feel more important now?”

He rolled his eyes fondly but shook his head. “It’s not me. It’s you. I feel like you’re the most important person at the moment.”

You choked on air and promptly turned to face forward, afraid that Hyunjae would notice your embarrassment. The two of you silently walked through the garden, admiring the various flowers. 

“And just so you’re aware,” you started. “I hope that you feel comfortable with me. I promise that I won’t treat you like how they did. I hope you can trust me…” Your voice trailed off once you noticed Hyunjae staring down at you with a stupidly handsome smile. You furrowed your eyebrows. “What?”

“Nothing.” Despite his response, he wouldn’t stop looking at you. Something about how he always stared at you and never failed to look away made you feel your own pulse in your ears. 

The two of you arrived at the center of the garden. Yet again, it was beautiful. But what you found most beautiful was the light feeling in your chest as you leaned against Hyunjae.

“Hyunjae.”

“Hm?” His gaze was warm even in the cooler atmosphere.

You eyed the empty space around you. There was no one else around. Just you and him, standing in the center of a garden that sparkled with dew. “Do you know how to dance?”

He gave you a skeptical look. “Why do you ask?”

“You’re my escort to the ball, of course!” You giggled. “You have to slow dance with me at some point.”

There was a slight blush that appeared on his cheeks. “That never… crossed my mind,” he said.

You gave him a teasing look. “So you don’t know?” When he didn’t give you a response, you couldn’t help but laugh, hopelessly endeared. He was always the tough one, but it seemed that when it came to the small romantic things, he was clueless. The more you noticed just how flustered he had become, the harder you laughed. You doubled over before almost falling straight into his chest. 

Two hands grasped your waist, holding you steady. You were still laughing but it had quieted down. Hyunjae couldn’t even look you in the eye yet he continued to hold you from falling.

“Don’t be so… clumsy, Your Highness,” he muttered, tripping over his words slightly at how close you were to him. “Not knowing how to dance shouldn’t be so funny to you,” he later grumbled quietly to himself.

You smiled and straightened up. You moved one of your hands to his shoulder as the other held onto one of his, pulling it away from your waist. “I don’t think it’s funny. I think it’s cute.”

Hyunjae blinked before clearing his throat and turning away. But then, without a warning, you began to lead him through the basic slow dance. He slowly looked back at you in surprise.

“We can simply sway side to side,” you explained gently. Then, you eyed where his hand was still holding onto his waist. “And don’t let go.”

Hyunjae was silent before he adjusted his hand to yours, intertwining your fingers. Then, he whispered quietly, “I was never planning to.”

You laughed bashfully. There was no music–just the shuffle of your clothes and the distant ruffle of nearby flowers and bushes. But you could hear it in your ears, feel it in your fingertips, see it through your eyes, the fondness and admiration that you both began to share.

Hyunjae was still a bit awkward with dancing. Sometimes, he would stumble or tighten his hold on your waist. Every so often, he would whisper a small apology.

You hummed fondly and shifted just a bit closer. He inhaled quietly and stared down at you with fluttering eyes. But despite his distractions, he slowly became more and more confident in slow dancing with you, even pulling you closer so that you could rest your cheek on his chest. 

Except there was something else you could hear. The loud beating of his heart. It was fast and it was almost pounding. You smiled softly.

“You’re quite handsome when you’re like this, Hyunjae.” You pulled away to look up at him. He bit back a smile and shook his head. 

“And if I may tell the truth…” His voice lowered as if he truly only wanted you to hear what he was about to say. “You look truly stunning right now, Your Highness.”

Your eyebrows raised in surprise. He smiled smugly. And then, like a perfect harmony, the two of you started laughing at the same time. The sparkles in his eyes and his bright smile perfectly mirrored. And you were sure that the pounding of his heart did as well.

Suddenly though, you were interrupted by your own yawn. His gaze looked you over in slight concern. “Would you like to stop now?” He looked up and out to the evening sky, littered with faint stars.

“Mhm,” you sighed, glancing down. “These shoes are not comfortable for dancing. They hurt.” Slowly, as if you didn’t want to let go–you truly didn’t–you stepped away from him. Your waist still felt warm with his touch and your hand tingly from his palm.

Then, he leaned down to look you in the eye. “Would you like me to carry you?”

Almost instantly, your mind flashed to an image in your mind. You quickly shook it away with a growing blush on your cheeks.

“No! I’m fine,” you blurted out, making your way back to the door. You could already feel his teasing smile and so, despite your uncomfortable shoes, you began to run down the hallway. But yet again, he was your bodyguard. He would always be following you.

“The offer’s still on the table,” he called out. 

“No!”

–

You shifted nervously as you stood in front of your bedroom door. You played nervously with your hair as you glanced down at your formal wear. You never expected to be so anxious for a ball until you were dressed up in something so sparkly and stunning that you began to doubt if you even worth wearing such a thing. 

With a shaky sigh, your hand hovered over the doorknob. Hyunjae would be standing outside and you didn’t know what to think. All that really was on your mind were the possibilities. Would he smile at the sight of you? Would he look you over? Would he… say something?

But when you opened to the door, you faced an empty hallway. It was bustling downstairs with everyone preparing the food and drinks to be served. But upstairs, it was quiet. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion and stepped out. You glanced on either side, only for Hyunjae to be nowhere in sight.

But then, there was one other room that had its light on. The library. You slowly approached it and opened the door. There Hyunjae was–or specifically his back as he seemed to be working on something. As soon as he heard your footsteps, he hurriedly put it away and stood up quickly.

“There are you are,” you breathed in relief. “I was looking for you.” Your gaze travelled across his whole body. He looked handsome in his suit and ever so charming with his hair done up precisely–except for that one piece that stuck out, giving him a more youthful and playful look. You felt like you could just swoon at the moment.

You hadn’t even noticed his absolutely smitten look as his eyes wandered over you as well.

“Well don’t you look beautiful,” he muttered quietly, staring at you with a soft gaze.

Immediately, you were sputtering out sounds that didn’t form a single word. You tried to bring your hands up to cover your face but he took them and set them down gently. You frowned at his knowing smile.

“Why? Are you shy?”

You scoffed, trying to play it cool. It obviously wasn’t working considering how he chuckled quietly. “I miss when you hated me.”

He leaned in, brushing a thumb across your cheek. “I don’t. Because then, I’d miss seeing your smile.”

“Sh-shut up, you stupid flirt,” you whined, pulling away and making a beeline to the door. 

As the two of you walked toward the ballroom, you turned to ask Hyunjae something, only to find that he was deep in thought about something. His eyebrows were furrowed and his lips pulled into a small frown.

“Is there something bothering you?”

He startled slightly and glanced at you before immediately denying, “Nothing to concern you, Your Highness.”

“Please tell me.” You smiled. “I might be able to help.”

He eyed you skeptically before letting out a defeated sigh. “It’s foolish. I think I have a crush on someone. And… I don’t know what to do about it.”

You nodded. “So it’s that type of situation… then why don’t you confess?” When he stared at you like you were crazy, you laughed, completely unfazed. “Just get it out there.”

“Easier said than done.” And you didn’t know why but the way he looked at you as he said those words was so… different. His gaze was full of longing, you realized. But why at you? “I don’t think I can do that.”

“Hmm…” You bit your lip as you pondered. “Then until you’re ready to tell them, continue to take care and protect them in the meantime.”

He gave you a soft smile and you gasped quietly when you felt your hand being placed on his arm. He held you close to his side as you two faced the entrance to the ball. You could already hear the bustle of guests and the clink of wine glasses inside. Hyunjae turned to look at you with a reassuring smile. You would think that you didn’t need it considering you were so used to these events. But really, it was your hand on his arm that made you feel nervous.

“Ready?” He interrupted your thoughts.

The hushed whispers and interested murmurs were deafening to your ears as the doors opened. You blinked profusely as the lights came shining upon the two of you. Once your eyes adjusted, your heart raced at the faces of awe at the sight of you and Hyunjae, walking into the ballroom with your hand on his arm.

“Is that a prince?” You could hear one mutter in admiration.

“They look like the perfect couple…”

You grinned and looked up to Hyunjae. He gave you a slightly forced smile. You could tell he was nervous yet he still remained protective over you, holding you close to his side.

The two of you wandered out of the spotlight and began to join the other guests. You tried your hardest to ignore the looks of others. They were always gossiping and always had something to say. Instead, you chose to focus on Hyunjae.

Hyunjae.

You could sigh dreamily like one of those characters in the romance books you used to read. How could a bodyguard be so… prince-like? 

“Your Highness?”

You shook your head out of your trance. “Hyunjae?”

“How are you doing on this beautiful night?” He smiled, bowing down politely. You burst out laughing. The two of you had been together for the past twenty minutes yet now, he decided to act like this. He tilted his head teasingly. “I saw you were a bit distracted.”

“Hm?” You grinned knowingly. “Distracted? By what?”

“Me,” he whispered into your ear. 

“Really?” You stepped closer, reaching your hands to fix his collar. It was perfectly ironed already but you relished in the way his ears tinted red when your fingertips grazed his neck. Then you looked up and straight into his eyes. You could hear his breath hitch. “Is it that obvious?” You whispered, with a teasing smile. 

You didn’t care if there were hundreds of guests surrounding you, possibly staring at the two of you flirting. All that you could see was Hyunjae and only him. 

“It is,” he muttered, quickly regaining his composure. “But I’m no better. You distract me all the same.” 

His hands were gentle as he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. His eyes wandered over your features and then down to your whole body. He didn’t say anything but through his soft gaze, you could read what his mind was thinking like a book.

Pretty.

Then he stepped away. For a moment you felt disappointed until you saw him holding a hand out for you to take.

“May I have this dance?” He bowed slightly, looking up at you with expectant eyes. It didn’t help that the one hair strand still adorably stuck out like a puppy’s hair would.

“Of course,” you giggled, taking his hand. He smiled fondly as he led you to the dance area. Seamlessly, the two of you blended in with the other couples, slow dancing with lovesick smiles.

Hyunjae held you tenderly by the waist and his hand fit with yours perfectly. Just a look at his handsome face was enough to leave you breathless. He seemed like he was incredibly skilled in holding eye contact with his soft gaze that never left yours. You on the other hand… were not faring very well.

You bit your lip, struggling to look him in the eye. Why was he making you so nervous? Why did his hand on your waist make you feel jittery? And why…

“Look at me,” he whispered, grabbing your attention.

You snapped your head up. “It’s hard to.” 

He chuckled. “Isn’t slow dancing about trusting your partner? Do you not trust me?”

“I do.”

“Then look at me,” he repeated with a teasing voice. “I like when you do.”

You had to resist the urge to shut your eyes in embarrassment. You swallowed nervously. When you said you trusted him, you meant it. You allowed him to lead you throughout the ballroom—allowed him to guide you through the several people you could’ve bumped into. But instead, he kept you safe. He protected you.

“Your Highness.”

“Hm?”

He gave you a slightly embarrassed look as he glanced around. You couldn’t help but think it was cute how fast his flirty demeanor could fall. “If I may be honest, I do feel a bit out of place here.”

Your heart sank. It was understandable how he was still hesitant, especially with what he had confided in you recently. “Then please, focus on me just like you want me on you.”

His hand tightened on yours. “I already am.” He gave you an earnest smile. You smiled back. 

The two of you were lost in each other’s eyes, naturally moving to the calming yet romantic music that surrounded you. Your heart beat faster than the pace of the violin but you didn’t care, knowing that Hyunjae wasn’t any different. You knew because of when you laid your head on his chest that time in the garden.

But, like a record scratch, you heard your name from behind you, spoken by a snarky voice.

“What’s their name, Y/n?” A man spoke to another. You could tell by his tone that he would have nothing good to say. “They aren’t even all that special. And they were the only reason why I came to this ball.”

Hyunjae’s face hardened as he glanced behind you, already pinpointing the two men talking about you. You stared up at him with wide eyes.

“Have you seen the way they act?” The other griped. “So… improper and nothing like a royalty.”

You gulped and looked to Hyunjae. His jaw was clenched and his hand on your waist had tightened. Though, it was never enough to hurt.

Suddenly, the music was too loud. Your feet hurt and the chatter of others was painfully blaring. But most of all, it was the two men’s voices that scratched your eardrums the most. You two were still dancing but it had slowed down.

“I’d still take them out on a date,” The other laughed mockingly. “But only to inherit their fortune.” And god, how their cackles stung your very soul.

You gasped and furrowed your eyebrows. Hyunjae kept you from ever facing them, always switching the direction so your back was turned. But he was mad, you could tell–furious to be exact. Then, he looked down at you and his gaze softened at your hurt expression. 

And like something snapped in him, he let go of your waist and pulled you around so that you were right behind him. “Stay here with me,” he whispered. He shielded you protectively as he walked over to the two men, standing near the drink bar, swirling their glasses obnoxiously with their even more irritating smiles.

“Hyunjae–”

“We can hear your loud voices from here,” Hyunjae spoke condescendingly. “I hope that you’re aware of that.” The two men jumped and stared at him. You couldn’t help but marvel over how Hyunjae so easily towered over them. One of them was already cowering, backing away while the other huffed stubbornly.

“And who might you be?” The man gave him a twisted smile.

You peeked out from Hyunjae’s side and answered for him, “My bodyguard.”

And that seemed to be what did it for the man. His eyes widened and his voice stuttered. “Y-your Highness! What a pleasant surprise!” He laughed nervously, glancing around with fear.

Hyunjae tilted his head and he stepped forward, further towering over him. His broad shoulders loomed like a shadow that was awfully intimidating yet… attra–

“Say anything about them again and I will personally do anything to ruin your life,” he muttered with a low voice. Your heart skipped a beat as you tightened your hand on his.

“What can you do?” The man lifted his head high which frankly, didn’t do much. You could tell by how his hands shook that he was terrified. “I’m a prince. And you’re just a lowly bodyguard.”

You winced and tried to pull Hyunjae away. You didn’t want him to get hurt again, not after you promised him that he would be treated right. But instead, Hyunjae stayed where he was as his jaw clenched.

“A bodyguard whose job is to protect them. Something that you clearly cannot do,” Hyunjae replied, looking over the prince with an unimpressed look. “So, I don’t see the problem here.” That was when he turned around and led you away. Or, at least tried to, until the man called out again with a loud voice.

“You’re protecting someone who barely acts like a proper royal member,” he growled. “Y/n doesn’t deserve–”

You felt your hand being let go, causing you to gasp and whip around. Soon enough, you were met with the sight of Hyunjae, his hands grasped around his collar, so tight that his knuckles were white. The man now was clearly full of fear, his eyes pleading as he tried to scramble away. But Hyunjae didn’t let go, instead tightening his hold with a threatening look. It was subtle–his eyes darkened and jaw tight. 

Everyone was looking now, murmurs and shocked gasps filling the room. You stumbled forward but were stopped by one of the staff members holding you back to keep you safe. You watched as other guards came rushing forward to break everything up. The prince’s collar was crumpled and he could barely speak out of sheer terror. Hyunjae on the other hand, was standing there with clenched fists. Then, immediately he looked to you to make sure you were okay.

You quickly escaped the staff member’s hold and approached him. Gently, you took his wrist because you could tell he still wanted to punch the prince square in the face. Then you pulled him close so that you could whisper into his ear.

“Do you want to get out of here?”

“But–” 

You smiled, slightly amused. “It’s okay.”

He froze and his tense muscles softened as soon as his eyes took in your smile. He quietly nodded.

“Come on,” you laughed fondly, pulling him along and out of the ballroom. The two of you ran down the same path to the garden with your hand wrapped around his wrist the whole time. 

You led him to sit on a 1bench, a beautiful spot surrounded by gorgeous flowers lit by the nearby lamps. The night sky was scattered with twinkling stars and it was a calming quiet. Immediately, you took his hand and opened it.

“Look,” you whispered with a worried expression. You frowned, taking in the gash on the palm of his hand where the sharp button of the prince’s outfit had cut him. “You got hurt. You shouldn’t have done that for me.”

You reached under the bench and pulled out a first-aid kit, typically for the gardeners who got cut from rose thorns and such. You quickly cleaned the wound and began to wrap the cut with a rolled bandage.

All the while, Hyunjae was staring at you with a straight mouth but with a soft, loving gaze. Then, he huffed and gave you an adorably angry frown as he rolled his eyes. You could tell he was still being protective.

“I couldn’t ignore it. He hurt you.”

You laughed warmly, as you secured the bandage around his hand, patting it lightly. You looked up, only to inhale sharply at the way he was staring at you so intently–so… passionately.

“I’ve…” You gulped, trying to find your voice again. “I’ve heard far worse. But thank you, Hyunjae.”

He smiled. If he was handsome in the ballroom, he was even more handsome now. The dim light perfectly emphasized his features and his hair no longer was in that perfect updo. It was messy yet it fit him perfectly. 

“But seriously!” You whined, slightly startling him. “Why did you protect me like that?”

He narrowed his eyes. “It’s my job. I’m a bodyguard.”

“Hm,” you thought for a moment, looking up to the stars that so beautifully mirrored the sparkles in Hyunjae’s eyes that only seemed to appear when he was looking at you. “I thought that meant physically. Not standing up for me. You know I can handle myself right?”

Hyunjae looked down at his lap.

“Just… let me take care and protect you.”

You stared at him blankly. Your lack of response caused him to look up at you nervously and regretfully as if he was scared you would realize something. And then it hit you. What you said earlier…

“Then until you’re ready to tell them, continue to take care and protect them in the meantime.”

You straightened and you could feel your heart seize. “The person you were talking about. It’s me, right?”

He choked. “I–”

Immediately, you were giving him a teasing look as you scooted over to lean into his side. “There’s no use in hiding it now,” you sang.

He stared at you with adorably wide eyes before he let out a defeated sigh. “Fine, yes. I may have a crush on you.”

You slapped your hand over your mouth exaggeratedly as if you hadn’t already figured it out before. “For how long?” You cut yourself off with a gasp. “Don’t tell me… you were mean to me to actually hide your feelings?”

“No, no, I did actually hate you.”

“Oh.”

“I-I’m sorry,” he blushed. “I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.”

You giggled. Oh, how you loved teasing him. “It’s okay. I get it.”

“But I saw how kind you were and… I realized you were different.” He gave you a fond look. “And Your Highness, you are so beautiful. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever gotten to know.”

Your cheeks were warm, even under the cool night air. You leaned into his side, staring up at him with a stupidly giddy smile. 

“And my dear Hyunjae,” you spoke, your voice teasing yet sincere either way. “You have won over my heart.”

“Really?” You could see that he was truly relieved, even past his smug smile.

“Mhm,” You hummed. “Really.” And then you leaned in to press a soft kiss to his cheek. He stared at you with wide eyes before practically melting and smiling like he had truly fallen for you. And it seemed, based on what he said, he did.

Then, he straightened and reached into his pocket. “I have something for you.” He pulled out a crocheted flower. It was a rose. A few of the stitches were messed up but it was beautiful anyway. 

Your eyebrows raised. “For me? You… made this?”

He cleared his throat, trying to look nonchalant and tough. “I tried.”

Instantly, you were smiling so wide your face hurt. You twirled the rose around, admiring the effort he made. “This is so cute!” Your eyes softened. “Thank you.”

He stared at you, still slightly dazed by your kiss on the cheek. “You’re welcome.”

You paused and then gave him a sly look–one that sent him looking away nervously. “You know I could just kiss you right now.”

He watched quietly as you set the rose gently down on the bench and turned to him. You noticed how his eyes struggled to stay on the upper side of your face. Rather, they kept wandering down to your lips.

“On the cheek?” His voice was so quiet that you had to lean in close to hear him which in turn, made him blush furiously.

You shook your head, peering up at him with doe-like eyes that made him swallow thickly. “No. On the lips.”

He inhaled sharply and tried to act normal but he was nothing like it. Rather, it seemed like he was losing it, his eyes darting across your features with a look of want and infatuation. “I… I wouldn’t be opposed to that.”

“Really?” You grinned.

He nodded and as if he couldn’t get any more endearing, he shut his eyes and leaned forward. His lips slightly pouted as he waited expectantly for you to press yours on his. But instead, you giggled, your breath fanning over his lips, causing him to blink.

He immediately was filled with embarrassment as he cleared his throat, almost choked, and tried to hide his face somehow.

“Why didn’t you…”

“Because first, you have to do something for me.” You scrunched your nose, poking his cheek.

It seemed that he had momentarily forgotten that he was a bodyguard who served under you. He immediately straightened and gave you a stern look that seemed to be on the verge of melting if you ever so smiled. “What is it, Your Highness?”

You suppressed a laugh. Then, you placed a finger under his chin, lifting it up.

“You need to call me by my real name first. Not Your Highness. My name.”

“That’s a bit unprofessional,” he replied hesitantly.

You raised an eyebrow. “Do you think that what we have is at all professional?”

He chuckled and quickly, the tables turned as he set your hand down and instead wrapped a hand around your waist. He pulled you close, earning him a surprised gasp.

“Truly professional, Y/n,” he whispered, glancing down to where you were almost sitting in his lap.

You were so focused on his gentle hold on you that you almost missed the name that had left his lips. You brightened and stared up at him with wide eyes. “Hyunjae,” you breathed. “Say it again.”

“Y/n.” He leaned closer, cupping a hand around the side of your face. 

“Again,” you whispered, your heart pounding.

“Y/n.”

You were silent and he stared at you as if waiting for a cue. And finally, you whispered once again, his name.

“Hyunjae.”

And just like that, you felt two hands cup your face this time and a pair of lips being pressed to yours. The sheer passion he put into that first kiss sent you reeling and your balance completely off if it wasn’t for the hand around your back that steadied you. His other hand wrapped around your legs, pulling them over his lap so that he could hold and kiss you like it was his sole duty.

You didn’t know what to do with your hands for a while until you ultimately wrapped them around his neck and tangled them into his hair. You could feel him breathily laugh against your lips and if you peeked an eye open, you would see him smiling dearly.

So he wasn’t just a good bodyguard but a good–no–great kisser too?

And to make you even more flustered, he pressed another kiss to your forehead before he pulled away.

Dumbly, all you could say was another weak, “Hyunjae.”

“Y/n?” He offered you a knowing smile as he noticed the way your breath hitched at your name being spoken from his lips. You could tell he was proud of his effect on you. 

“Hyunjae, I hate you.” You feebly tried to slap him but he caught your hand with ease, instead intertwining your fingers with his.

“I hate you too, gorgeous.” Then, he led you up to stand with him. Yet another thing you hated: how he made your legs horribly weak. Your ears tuned into the music that leaked from the ballroom and it seemed that Hyunjae could hear it too. Then, he began to slow dance with you, much to your surprise. “I believe our little dance was interrupted before.”

“Yeah, because you did something stupid.”

He tried to protest but when you gave him a warning look, he sighed and nodded. “Fine, I’m sorry for worrying you.”

You humphed. “That’s what I thought.” Before you could add anything else, he quickly leaned in to press another kiss on your lips.

“For safe measure.”

“Safe measure for what?”

“To make sure that I was right that you taste sweet.”

You groaned and hid your face in his chest. But of course, he played along and pulled you into a tight hug.

“Are you free tomorrow?”

You snorted, pulling away to look up at him. “Hey, you already know my schedule. And you’re following me around anyway.”

“Exactly.” He gave you a soft smile. “So let’s go on a proper date.”

Your eyes sparkled before you closed them and leaned your cheek back on his chest. His heart thumped in rhythm with yours. It thumped in perfect harmony with the rustle of the nearby flowers. It thumped with something akin to warmth.

[fics-lovebot]

the boyz fic recs

main masterlist

· · ♡ · · tysm to the amazing creative minds of the writers for giving me sevaral moments of joy reading your creations

i´ll be constantly updating this list so make sure to check it out often for new recs ;)))

pls remember to reblog if you like any of my recs❤️

ot11/poly

sunwoo

a hidrance to peace - crack, fluff, you suddenly realize once again that he fucked around with other ppl before meeting you, atrocious tbh HDCLIHFISH i love it, sunwoo gets jealous and its cutee

he´s jealous of juyeon taking selfies on your phone, text au

six-thirty - smut, fwb, possessive!sunwoo, lotss of dirty talking, he need some milk

boyfriend sunwoo is just so :(((((((((((((((((( I LOVE HIM

eric

swing my way - crack, fluff, eric is a young heir with a lot of money and a thing for pretty girl, you just happen to be a pretty girl working at the country club his family partially owns, I LOVE THISSS, it was such a refreshing, fun thing to read. I love the flirting, the gossip, the plot had me smiling the whole time

text au 1, text au 2 - love these

juyeon

running through the rain (for you) -FLUFF, he wanted to be romantic waiting for you under the rain, this made my heart CRY bc why is he so precious?? :( my mf baby

befriend the kitty -fluff, school au, bad boy x good girl trope, strangers to friends to lovers, it´s cute

split it open - smut, juyeon has a big dicc, reader is cock starved lmao, it´s short but it´s hot

classifieds - smut, android!juyeon, dirty talk, love the plot

hyunjae

changmin (Q)

changmin texting his idol crush - text au

a closer look - fluff, changmin doesn´t know what to do when you flirt with him so he´s breaking up with you sjsjdkdjskjd

new

simple gifts - fluff, slow burn, model!chanhee, assistant!reader, he´s soooo in love lmao, his love language is putting you in expensive clothes and accesories, this is such a nice read, not boring at all, love love love loved it

haknyeon

younghoon

kevin

jacob

sangyeon

face sitting - smut, e.r, idol!sang, he lit came in his pants from eating pussy,,, “Use my mouth, make yourself come all over my face.” WHEWW

like that - smut, fluff, another one about sangyeon eating pussy and i´m not even surprised, you know what they say about men with big noses,,,LFHUERIHRL.SUDHF lemme stop

[sangyeonsmuse]

— SHES WITH THE BAND ★

“FUCK ME LIKE A ROCKSTAR DANCING ON A COP

CAR NOTHING IN THE WORLD CAN STOP ME NOW”

Groupie love series, idols as Rockstars.

(ATEEZ, TXT, THE BOYZ)

GROUPIE L♥️VE TOUR

Please make sure to show your tickets upon entry, to those of you that purchased a backstage pass, line up outside after the show.

‼️ WARNING 18+ CONTENT MINORS DNI ‼️

★ Day 1 - Pretty Little Thing (sunwoo,haknyeon,hyunjae,juyeon,eric)

★ Day 2 - Avalon (Lee Sangyeon)

★ Day 3 - Under The Influence (Lee Juyeon)

★ Day 4 - Two- Faced (Bae Jacob)

★ Day 5 - Thrillride (Kim Younghoon)

★ Day 6 - One Of The Girls (Lee Hyunjae)

★ Day 7 - Meddle About (Kim Sunwoo, Eric Sohn)

★ Day 8 - Floor 22 (Kevin Moon)

★ Day 9 - Attention (Choi Chanhee)

★ Day 10 - Repay Me (Ji Changmin)

★ Day 11 - Home Movies (Ju Haknyeon)

★ Day 12 - Welcome To The Band ( WooSan) intro

★ Day 13 - Fill The Void (Woosan)

★ Day 14

★ Day 15

★ Day 16

★ Day 17

★ Day 18

★ Day 19

★ Day 20

★ Day 21

★ Day 22

★ Day 23

★ Day 24

★ Day 25

★ Day 26

[slytherinshua]

TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE

genre. angst. a little fluff. warnings. infidelity. and breaking up lol kill me. idk how good this is cause this might actually be my first time writing breaking up angst so sry if its bad. not proofread. pairing. hyunjae x reader. wc. 1.6k. request. requested by @hursheys for #15: "why?" "because i love you." and #53: "why does this sound like goodbye?" "because it is." a/n. uhm fuck you vesper no one likes you i hope u stub ur toe and embarrass urself at the tbz concert like i hope you don't have enough gas to get there and miss it (jk have the best time at the concert u deserve it <33). divider by @/chilumitos. net. @deoboyznet

“I’ve been trying to find a decent roommate for months. I don’t know. Maybe I’m the problem? Maybe no one wants to room with me. I’m just tired of hunting, you know?” You sighed, drumming the pads of your fingers over the warm cup of coffee your boyfriend had treated you to.

“If they don’t want to room with you, then they’re the ones missing out.” Hyunjae said simply, sending you a smile. Your lips lifted and you relaxed your shoulders. You hadn’t felt so relaxed and easy for weeks now. 

After your disaster of roommates last year, you wanted to find good ones for the last year at university. It was proving to be a lot harder than you thought. You weren’t even sure what you were doing wrong. You were fairly tidy, and flexible with rooms and schedules. You didn’t even mind if they wanted to bring over their boyfriends, so long as they limited the visits. As for yourself, you always preferred meeting Hyunjae outside or at his place. It just felt nice to have a break from your place.

“You think so?” You breathed, flashing a grin at your boyfriend before standing up. You grabbed the coffee with one hand and Hyunjae’s hand with the other, starting to walk towards the park. “It still leaves me without a roommate and rent that’s way too high to pay for the whole year. And my classes are too intensive for me to pick up another part time…” 

Hyunjae squeezed your hand sympathetically, glancing up at the sky before he opened his mouth, “You know, Sangyeon’s moving out at the end of the month. He wasn’t sure if things would work out with his new job, but he got the position and found a place closer to his work. I’d have an extra room anyway…” He trailed off, implying the offer with a twinkle in his eyes.

It seemed almost too good to be true; switching from roommate hopping to living with your boyfriend. You were hesitant for a few seconds, running through the logistics of it all. You enjoyed every second you spent with Hyunjae. He always treated you so well, he was truly the most perfect man you had ever met; almost too perfect for your brain to fully comprehend at times. Living with him seemed like an ideal situation.

“Are you sure? Didn’t you say Juyeon was looking for a place to stay while doing his scholarship?” You asked, wanting to eliminate any other factors that would make you feel guilty for going with the offer. You really didn’t mind hunting for a bit longer or even living with a roommate that pissed you off half of the time. You only had half a year left of school, anyway.

Hyunjae just shook his head, “I wanted to offer it to you before anyone else. You need it more than he does, anyway.”

You smiled, “Why are you so good to me, Hyunjae?” 

He laughed, pulling you closer into his arms, “Because I love you. Now, are you going to move in with me or not?”

It had been several months since you moved in with your boyfriend. You graduated university and found a steady, decent-paying job. Your hours were long, and you came back home exhausted most days. Thinking about your future was constantly on your mind. Where your relationship with Hyunjae was going, whether you would be able to save enough for a downpayment on a house, if you could even afford to think about the possibility of kids, etc. It was stressful, to say the least. It felt like you were the only one who was even trying to plan. 

Hyunjae’s routine was the same as when you had first started dating him. He would go to work everyday with his steady 9 to 5, sometimes arriving home later when he went out to drink with his coworkers. Weekends were for relaxation or meeting up with friends. It seemed like everything was perfect, but you couldn’t help but feel like something was slowly going wrong. He felt distant— like now that you were living under the same roof as him, he no longer had to make any effort. You didn’t even go on dates anymore. 

“Hey, babe, can we talk?” You said as you walked into the room, taking a seat on the couch, eyes trained on your boyfriend in the kitchen. 

“I have something to get to in a few minutes, but go ahead.” He hummed, prompting you to go on.

“Is something going on at work?” You asked him, wondering why he had to go somewhere at almost 8pm on a Sunday. 

“No? Why?” 

You sighed, deciding to not question him about it for now, “I don’t want to jump to any conclusions. I want to communicate with you, but I feel like I’ve been the only one making any effort in this relationship. I miss you. We live together, but I barely see your face anymore.”

Hyunjae shook his head, “I don’t know what you want me to tell you. I’ve been trying my best too. It’s selfish of you to say that I’m the only one not putting any effort in.” 

You stood up, “I said it because it’s what it felt like. You never take me on dates, you barely even tell me about your day or ask about mine… hell, it’s been weeks since the last time we even kissed each other. Do you really not feel the difference?” You did your best to stay calm. Yelling at Hyunjae was one of the last things you wanted to do, especially if it was all just a misunderstanding. 

Hyunjae was about to say something in response when his phone rang. You watched him tense up, and your brain was quick to think of possible reasons why. Was he hiding something? Or was he just tense from the accusations and sudden noise? 

You slowly walked to pick up the phone, as he had left it on the coffee table face down, closer to you than to him. It felt like your heart lurched in your chest as your eyes scanned over the caller id. A female’s name; Seunghee. You slid the button over to answer, hesitantly raising the phone to your ear. 

“Babe, you said you would be here 30 minutes ago. What’s taking you so long?”

You made eye contact with Hyunjae, and everything clicked. Why he had been so distant, why he never took you on dates or showed you affection, why he had been staying late after work so often and so hesitant to tell you about his day. He had been lying this whole time, cheating on you with another woman. 

You pressed the contact on the phone, the call still running although you didn’t say anything. Just as you expected, the chat was full of flirtatious texts. They mirrored the kinds of messages that he used to send you when you first started dating. You started to wonder if he had already been dating someone when he asked you out over a year ago. You hung up the phone, deciding you didn’t want to get involved in whoever Hyunjae had chose to cheat on you with.

“Are you going to explain yourself? Or are you running 30 minutes late to your date?” You asked piercingly. If looks could kill, you would’ve shot right through Hyunjae’s head by now.

“No, wait— Y/n, baby—”

“Don’t call me that.” You felt suffocated, and started to walk towards the door, hoping to get some fresh air and clear you head. Hyunjae caught your wrist before you could leave.

“Don’t listen to her. I would never cheat on you.” He insisted. You tried to shake off his hand, but his grip was too strong.

“Lying now too, are we? Let go of me.” 

“Y/n, just let me explain.” He pleaded.

“There’s nothing to ‘explain’, Hyunjae. I saw everything already. Let go of me.” You said harshly. 

“So you’re just going to leave me? After everything?” His voice was grating. 

“After what? The months you’ve been actively cheating on me? You threw this relationship away before I did. Now let me leave—” 

Hyunjae finally dropped your hand, the weight of your words finally hitting him. He had rarely been scared of things in his life. People often described him as fearless and brazen. Things had always turned out alright for him no matter what he did. Mistakes rarely came with consequences, but right now he felt like he had just made the biggest mistake of his life, and the consequence was losing you.

“Why does this sound like goodbye?” He asked quietly, for once a hint of fear seeped into his tone. You were stunned. The entire time you had known Hyunjae, he hadn’t feared anything.

“Because it is.” You left without another word, not wanting to hear whatever convincing Hyunjae would try in order to get you to stay.

It didn't take long for Hyunjae to regret his actions, as the next week you received a series of desperate texts. You blocked his number the same day, and, after retrieving your things from the apartment on a day you knew Hyunjae wouldn’t be home, found a new place to stay. You realized over the next weeks that Hyunjae had simply been too good to be true. His façade fooled you for months, but it was impossible for his imperfect self to give a flawless performance. In the end, he was merely a faulty copy of perfection.

↳ the boyz taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @eternalgyu,, @blossominghunnie,, @cosmicwintr,, @weird-bookworm,, @haecien,,

@lecheugo,, @seunghancore,, @heavenfilm,, @recordsfilm,, @bananabubble,,

@talking-saxy,, @cupidslovearrows,, @hursheys