#tcc kip

[protrudingribs]

[yikeskip]

[vodkaoomf]

I HATE WHEN PEOPLE CALL KIP KINKEL LIKE EVIL AND THE WORST BECAUSE HE'S LITERALLY THE FURTHEST THING POSSIBLE FROM THAT? poor guy was 15 years old with terrible paranoid schizophrenia that he was scared of/scared to tell anyone about and severe delusions 😭 literally all he's done since he went to jail and grew up a little is go on about how deeply he regrets it and how horribly he feels guilt for everyone he's ever hurt and actively hurts because of what he did, also went as far as to console pekka's friend and tell her there was nothing she could've done?? omg I love that man so bad I feel terrible for him like every second of my life ☹️

[poorarlene]

every time i dream of him i wake up crying

[strawberrygshes]

every time i look at pictures of kip i want to cry :( he is the sweetest i feel so bad for him

[painfullyblissful2000]

somebody else probably did this already and that's ok :3

some of kip kinkel's writings!!

confession note

"I have just killed my parents! I don't know what is happening. I love my mom and dad so much. I just got two felonies on my record. My parents can't take that! It would destroy them. The embarrassment would be too much for them. They couldn't live with themselves. I'm so sorry. I am a horrible son. I wish I had been aborted. I destroy everything I touch. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I didn't deserve them. They were wonderful people. It's not their fault or the fault of any person, organization, or television show. My head just doesn't work right. God damn these VOICES inside my head. I want to die. I want to be gone. But I have to kill people. I don't know why. I am so sorry! Why did God do this to me. I have never been happy. I wish I was happy. I wish I made my mother proud. I am nothing! I tried so hard to find happiness. But you know me I hate everything. I have no other choice. What have I become? I am so sorry. "

from a journal in his bedroom:

"I sit here all alone. I am always alone. I don't know who I am. I want to be something I can never be. I try so hard every day. But in the end, I hate myself for what I've become."

Every single person I know means nothing to me. I hate every person on this earth. I wish they could all go away. You all make me sick. I wish I was dead.

The only reason I stay alive is because of hope. Even though I am repulsive and few people know who I am, I still feel that things might, maybe, just a little bit, get better.

I don't understand any fucking person on this earth. Some of you are so weak, mainly, that a four year old could push you down. I am strong, but my head just doesn't work right. I know I should be happy with what I have, but I hate living.

Every time I talk to her, I have a small amount of hope. But then she will tear it right down. It feels like my heart is breaking. But is that possible. I am so consumed with hate all of the time. Could I ever love anyone? I have feelings, but do I have a heart that's not black and full of animosity?

I know everyone thinks this way sometimes, but I am so full of rage that I feel I could snap at any moment. I think about it everyday. Blowing the school up or just taking the easy way out, and walk into a pep assembly with guns. In either case, people that are breathing will stop breathing. That is how I will repay all you mother fuckers for all you put me through.

I feel like everyone is against me, but no one ever makes fun of me, mainly because they think I am a psycho. There is one kid above all others that I want to kill. I want nothing more than to put a hole in his head. The one reason I don't: Hope. That tomorrow will be better. As soon as my hope is gone, people die.

I ask myself why I hate more than anyone else. I don't know. But my head and heart want him dead. He only knows who I am through reputation, and I know he is scared of me. He should be. One bad day, and there will be a sawed off shotgun in his face or five pounds of Semtex under his bed.

I need help. There is one person that could help, but she won't. I need to find someone else. I think I love her, but she could never love me. I don't know why I try.

Oh fuck. I sound so pitiful. People would laugh at this if they read it. I hate being laughed at. But they won't laugh after they're scraping parts of their parents, sisters, brothers, and friends from the wall of my hate.

Please. Someone, help me. All I want is something small. Nothing big. I just want to be happy.

End. New day. Today of all days, I ask her to help me. I was shot down. I feel like my heart has been ripped open and ripped apart. Right now, I'm drunk, so I don't know what the hell is happening to me.

It is clear that no one will help me. Oh God, I am so close to killing people. So close.

I gave her all I have, and she just threw it away. Why? Why did God just want me to be in complete misery? I need to find more weapons. My parents are trying to take away some of my guns! My guns are the only things that haven't stabbed me in the back.

My eyes hurt. They hurt so bad. They feel like they are trying to crawl out of my head. Why aren't I normal? Help me. No one will. I will kill every last mother fucking one of you. The thought of you is still racing in my head. I am too drunk to make sense.

Every time I see your face, my heart is shot with an arrow. I think she will say yes, but she doesn't, does she? She says, "I don't know". The three most fucked up words in the English language.

I want you to feel this, be this, taste this, kill this. Kill me. Oh God, I don't want to live. Will I see it to the end? What kind of dad would I make? All humans are evil. I just want to end the world of evil.

I don't want to see, hear, speak or feel evil, but I can't help it. I am evil. I want to kill and give pain without a cost. And there is no such thing. We kill him - we killed him a long time ago. Anyone that believes in God is a fucking sheep.

If there was a God, he wouldn't let me feel the way I do. ....Love isn't real, only hate remains. Only hate."

"Love Sucks

No, I don't believe in love at first sight because love is an evil plot to make people buy alcohol and firearms. When you love someone something it is always taken away from you. I also would like to add that I hate each and every one of you. Because everything I touch turns to shit. I think if you think you fall in love with someone at first sight it might just be lust. Love at first sight is only in movies. Where the people in the movies are better than you. That is why you go to a pone [pawn] shop and buy an AK-15 because you are going to execute every last mother fucking one of you. If I had a heart it would be gray.

It is easier to hate than love. Because there is much more hate and misery in the world than there is love and peace. Some people say that you should love everyone. But that is impossible. Look at our history it is full of death, depression, rape, wars and diseases. I also do not believe in love at first sight. But I do believe in hate at first sight. Therefore love is a much harder feeling to experience."

at the top of his Spanish work sheet

"I will hunt you down and put a hole in your head. With explosives. You hear me. Power to the shampoo. RIP [sad face with Xed out eyes]. You must DIE."

statement to his victims

"I have spent days trying to figure out what I want to say. I have crumpled up dozens of pieces of paper and disregarded even more ideas. I have thought about what I could say that might make people feel just a little bit better. But I have come to the realization that it really doesn't matter what I say. Because there is nothing I can do to take away any of the pain and destruction I have caused. I absolutely loved my parents and had no reason to kill them. I had no reason to dislike, kill or try to kill anyone at Thurston. I am truly sorry that this has happened. I have gone back in my mind hundreds of times and changed one detail, one small event so this never would have happened. I wish I could. I take full responsibility for my actions. These events have pulled me down into a state of deterioration and self-loathing that I didn't know existed. I am very sorry for everything I have done, and for what I have become."

relatable

[protrudingribs]

[vodkaoomf]

"When one of his teeth started protruding outward, the result of not having his retainer in jail, Kinkel believed his crooked tooth was being used as an antennae for the chip in his brain. When he found out he was going to have an MRI, he was relieved that everyone would finally see the chip and realize the government and Disney were to blame. At times he could no longer tell where his body ended and the walls of the prison began."

"During this time, two boys killed 13 people at Columbine High School in Colorado before killing themselves. Kinkel sobbed when he found out, thinking he might be personally responsible for inspiring the massacre. The voices told him that it was his fault and that he should hang himself. He spent that night punching himself in the head, trying to force the voices out."

[lolbat]

I'm trying to skip school today but I have like 50 unexcused absences. . . fuuuckkkkkkk. I honestly just wanna play cod zombies and sleep in, I'm so tired 😭

[strawberrygshes]

why is he the cutest ever :(

[ieatztaco]

Are we deadass 🥀

[sweetlyhorrible]

WHY was kip kinkel in my dreams 💔

[yikeskip]

u weren’t here i really miss you.

[vodkaoomf]

The Thurston Highschool Shooting

This post is going to be particularly sentimental as a warning, so be aware.

On the morning of May 21st, 1998 Kipland Philip Kinkel drove himself to Thurston Highschool in his mother's Ford Explorer and opened fire in the cafeteria of Thurston Highschool, killing two at the school; Ben Walker and Mikael Nickolauson, and injuring twenty-five. The night before, he'd shot and killed both of his parents. He couldn't bring himself to turn the gun on himself, his auditory hallucinations getting the better of him. Kinkel was aware the next morning, that he wouldn't see the end of the day. He'd be dead, should everything go according to plan. (Which it didn't, as we know now.)

It has been exactly twenty-seven years since that day. Twenty-seven years of reflection on such an event, a lot of things have happened. 

Today should be a day of mourning, of thought. It serves as a cautionary tale, almost, what happened that day. My heart aches today, for everyone lost, injured, or otherwise affected, including Kip. I think we understand the condition he was in a lot better today, there's less of a stigma around mental health issues as severe as paranoid Schizophrenia.

He's doing a lot better now, but still, it's a terrible thing to have to be reminded of something like this yearly. How scary must it be? To know today was the day you were supposed to die, at only fifteen. Nobody would have known why you did it, they could guess, and your sister, who loves you so dearly, would have no family left. It's terrible to think about from every angle. There'd have been no answer good enough to give anybody closure on how something like this could happen.

"How could I have gotten to this point at fifteen that all these things came together—where my humanity collapsed, and I did this horrific thing to people I loved and to people I didn't know?" - Kip Kinkel

I was frankly a little bit teary-eyed writing this. I think I will be for the majority of today. Thurston is an event which I know has not only had a great impact on my life, but so many others. My heart breaks a little more today, for the tragedy it was, and the tragedy it carries on being.

If you or anybody you know is experiencing similar issues, please do not be afraid to reach out, no matter how scary your reality may be. You are not alone.

[dreamsalloverthewalls]