#techniverse

[techniverse]

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[jjba-ocean-man]

By some odd occurrence in the cosmos, Techniverse!Kakyoin was now sitting mere feet away from Jotaro in the park. The world seemed familiar and yet foreign to him as he laid a hand on his belly, which lately had a bit of a bump. He saw who he thought was his boyfriend and stood up, walking over to give a kiss to Jotaro. "I thought you were out with your cousins today," Kakyoin said, puzzled. "That you were going to a movie with Shizuka and Josuke." -jjba-techniverse

Getting to take a walk around the park was a nice change of scenery from the dull rooms, boring lectures, and a shit ton of assignments. Jotaro lets out a sigh, some peace and quiet was due. He pulls out a phone, perhaps a visit to someone-

He is to distracted to notice the approaching person, and while the voice was familiar he wasn’t expecting them to- “Hey bitch what do you think you’re doing-” He moves away from the kiss. Looking up, he blinks at them, “Kakyoin?”

“I was just about to-wait. Cousins? I don’t know anyone named Shizuka or Josuke.” He stares at him confused.

[ask-modern-jojos]

Jonathan: Thank you all for visiting! Feel free to come back--although..maybe not all at once again.

//if I knew how to add a read more than I would but I don't so,,sorry for your dash

BLOGS FEATURED:

@ayla-thevalidwerewolf, @jonathanwolfstar, @universe-inside-of-your-heart, @badlydrawn-little-caesar, @bd-jonathan-pepstar, @an-unfortunate-tale, @ask-cherry-boy, @ocasionly-koichi-beetch, @bastard-80s-jojo, @rohansbizarreadventure, @ask-the-munchkin-crusader, @ballerinawithastand, @hamon-hollyjstar, @ask-my-twisted-creations, @badlydrawn-cadence-jojo-oc, @joestarheaven, @jjba-ocean-man, @jjba-techniverse, @ask-cybertronian-jojos, bookworm anon, @occasionalhollykujo, @m-c-sweg / @diovahs-witness (she forced me to), @notsodaily-smolkakyoin / @occasional-smolsuke-higashikata, @askavampire, @speedweedsbizarreblog, @brokuyasu707, @evergreenholly, @pd-ironmaiden

[neil-shah]

Neil Reviews Things: HelloFresh

             There are two distinct things I remember hearing form my adviser when I graduated from university--"The world is now at your fingers" and " No you can't request your diploma in business cards form". The former stuck with me, and when I finally replaced my Motorola Razr, which was unceremoniously retired by a chocolate fondue set, with a true smart phone--those words of wisdom rang 4G clear. The world is at your fingers--well specifically our finger tips, with one swipe of your thumb you can spit mad game on whatever dating app you prefer, book a restaurant reservation, order an Uber, book a cozy AirBnB and then buy a mortgage and seize said AirBnB.

All with your fingers!

But if you are like me--which you can't be as says Mr. Rogers--this convoluted-techniverse can be deafening, mindless droves addicting to checking their smartphones and the rise of emojis obfuscating the lost art of conversation, all for trinkets of internet gratification points.

Don't forget to like this post on FaceBook

Akin to the old-school safety razors, cage-free eggs, and pre-coke Lindsay Lohan, I yearn for genuineness--the simplicity of strolling down to the local farmers market, picking out pristine ingredients and then cooking a wholesome meal with the satisfaction of self-reliance--but I really don't want to Uber to the farmers market and this episode of Pretty Little Liars is really enthralling....

Enter HelloFresh!

Note--the correct name is HelloFresh without the exclamation, and despite pleading with their marketing team on punctuation, reducing their trademark to a tone of disappointment, much like when my Uber driver takes a wrong turn enroute, they refused to budge.

HelloFresh is a home-delivery service that greets its customers with fresh (see their trademark), pre-cut and measured ingredient portions, and then includes detailed instructions on how to cook said meal. The concept is for busy families, power couples or agoraphobes to be able to prepare a home-cooked meal without having to leave said home.

A perfect opportunity for Neil to test his smoke alarm.

Recipe: Onion Burgers with Roasted Cauliflowers

Packaging: HelloFresh ships in a sturdy ice-cooler, roughly the size of the same small commercial microwave that a younger Neil would use to cook said meal. The various vegetable and/or meat ingredients come in color coordinated containers to prevent you from upsetting the carefully curated harmony of the dish. Everything, from the salt-pepper, spice, garlic, produce and meat, come packaged in tiny miniature packages as if they were procured from an Elf grocery store.

Serving Size: "A delectable dinner for two" which translates to a pre-dinner snack for Neil.  

Price: Subscriptions run on a per-meal-per-person (wow typing that out sound strange) and in my case was around 2 Netlfix-Months, which I deem the new unit of currency for all things internet.

Preparation: Suggested time 30 minutes; Neil time 45 minutes (including the opening of Pretty Little Liars

I started my HelloFresh adventure by delicately unwrapping the precisely measured portion of onions, garlic, cauliflower and something called panko, which I assume is the pasta world’s equivalent of Meth. The instructions called for me to mince the garlic and chop the onions, which I did without crying since confusing Requiem for Dream as a Disney money at a young age left me emotionally dead inside. After browning the onions and drizzling oil on my moist cauliflowers, I tried browning the garlics in solidarity of their onion brothers. I then transferred the cauliflowers to my oven, and prepared the wheat-buns by cutting them in half and slathering them with enough mayo to choke a small-goat. Exactly 15 minutes later my cauliflower were finished, and I combined all my vegetables into a massive burger, since the Iron-Man PJs I was wearing already threw grace out the door.

The beauty of HelloFresh is that transfer the entire risk of you destroying the meal at hand on yourself; each recipe comes with a step-by-step infographic with renders the entire cooking process difficulty akin to changing a tire—sure you can get fancy in a few areas but the overall mechanism is the same.

Final Product: HelloFresh allows you to judge your creation against an immaculate photo of what said recipe should of produced. Ironically, despite my inner desires to inadvertently screw things up, I must admit that my final product roughly resembled the marketing material—in the sense that Steve Carrel resembles Bob Saget.

In conclusion—with the hubbub of today’s technological world, it’s nice to know that you can prepare, cook and SnapChat your food in the time it takes for an UberEats to show up.  

Overall Score: (from a scale of Living in Dallas to The Wire): Oversleeping through your alarm but realizing it’s a holiday.  

[bd-turtlepolpol]

"Are you grooming me or something while I'm away? That's not even the turtle, but damn. At least that's better than the toilet." Polnareff snorted, knowing full well that Jotaro had a soft spot for the turtle body. It sometimes is a little extreme, but hey, at least Jotaro had some kind of pet. Instead of... a whole ass... fish.

Polnareff looked at Kujo strangely, before bursting out in laughter. Just the same, wasn't it? He'll probably pay them a visit soon as a turtle. Just gotta keep his mouth shut. He propped his head up with a tiny teasing smirk, waving his half cybernetic hand about.

"Who knows?"

As they were discharged they went back to Jotaro's place, where Polnareff promptly threw himself onto the bed and moved out back to his turtle. Hopefully Kujo didn't walk in to see his body being dead as can be on the bed, nice and tucked in hopefully by Jotaro, instead of being tossed helplessly back into the toilet.

Polnareff hummed as he slowly crawled his way to Jotaro's house. Mista was kinda pissed Polnareff was going on a trip, but hey, it waa nice of him (not) to not do any-

You know, one of the perks of being a turtle was that he could be tiny.

One of the cons was that once he fell he couldn't get up. He started to roll and roll and roll down the hill and finally crashed in through the turtle door, his head, legs and tail tucked in for safety. He slammed against the couch, and for a moment he sat there, dizzy. He blinked and looked up only to see Kakyoin with a mass of tendrils.

What the fuck?!

@jjba-ocean-man

((im running out of creative titles for these))

A sigh of relief. Jotaro actually takes his hat off and runs a hand through his hair, stressful as that was, he’s glad to see that the two were both alright. Although he was avoiding looking at Kakyoin lying there at the moment. Memories he’d rather forget, not think about right now.

Both Kakyoins were fine. Alive. Resting. Studying. Something.

He’s… not actually sure where to start or how to answer that question. What world were they in? Shit.

“Something fucking weird apparently. Different worlds, timelines, I assume. Scenarios changed and everything. Stumbled into your Kakyoin at the park, went downhill from there. Same thing with uh…” God dammit. What was her name again, “Anne.”

A hand flies to his mouth to stifle his own laughter, and through the muffled gesture, “Yeah. Looks just like one to me.”

His expression drops when he calms down before turning back to his other self, “How did this cross happen, anyway? Can you guys even get back - or can we get back?”

@jjba-techniverse

[techniverse]

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[techniverse]

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[techniverse]

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[jjba-ocean-man]

“Sounds like... the experience. I’m on good terms with mine. He’s busy, that’s all. That sounds like mom.” Universes spanning, it seems it’s forever destined for his mother to always be as kind as she is. Even in his edgy teenager phase he still appreciated her. “Think the other me would like that name?”

“Honestly for their sake. Taking after Kakyoin would be better.” He knows himself well enough. He can definitely tell it would be a problem. He ignores the hat comment... when did he start wearing one anyway? It’s just been habit, it feels wrong without it.

“I just mentioned pictures. You brought the ceremony.” To be honest. He doesn’t know romance well. He just said whatever came to mind.

Shit. The other version of himself wasn’t here. Would it be fair to just stop time and scream for ten seconds. Or maybe not scream. Maybe find the other him? Would that be enough time?

He looks at Polnareff. They’ve been through hell and back together. Fuck it.

“You can hold mine Kakyoin.”

((sorry if this is getting annoying I just don’t want to flood.))

Jotaro stood there stiffly. What else was he suppose to do? Just followed along silently with everyone else for the meantime. This was it. He’s never witnessed this before with a human at least… He tries to comfort himself with anything familiar. But it fails. He overhears a bit of the conversation and he’s glad that the phone finally got through to his other self or whatever. 

Maybe calling the SPW would’ve been better. Er. At least they’d be familiar with all the weird shit they did and were spouting. He glances at Polnareff before turning back to Kakyoin. The two have seen death so much they’ve almost become numb to it, case in point, Polnareff himself. It was odd to think they’d get to see the reverse.

Anything comforting just flies out the window. He’s… not sure what to do or say. “Uh. Sure? You’re going to be alright… yeah? Besides the whole labor thing.”