#tell me he wouldnt be a dogshit parent

[gifti3]

Ik its not real but god damn

[fictionkinfessions]

celebrations like mothers day get me fuckin wonderin.

what life could've been like if my shit father stuck around. would my mother have kept me, knowing she wouldnt be alone? or would she be too scared of me - of *us* and fuck off the second i was born again.

would he raise me? would he teach me to read and write and tie my shoes and fight and slick back my hair like his? would he be gentle when it came to me? whould he cook or would he be absolute dogshit at cooking? would he have a job? what would he do? would he sing songs and tell stories when i couldn't sleep? would we read together, things like Blake or whatever else he likes? would he listen when i was hurt or angry, comfort me when bullies were cruel and protect me when the adults were crueler? would he care about me, like parents did for other kids? would he listen when i begged not to be a pastor boy anymore?

or would he be angry? would he view me as some sort of tool, or weapon? would he shape me into the perfect fucking warrior, would he take and take and take until i had long ago lost the ability to give anything else? would he use me until i was no longer useful and discard me like the fucking garbage i am? would he rip off my arm again the second he decided to take over the world or whatever the fuck?

what would i be like? would i be so fucking angry at everyone, at the world, still? or would i feel safe and loved like i havent ever fucking gotten to?

what about his brother? would he still keep me on a ten foot pole, like hes fucking scared of me? or would he help my father because he loves my father, despite how many times my fucking father hurts him? would we be a real family for once? even if its two shitty brothers and one of their shitter sons?

course, it doesnt fucking matter. they left, im supposed to be an adult, even though i dont fucking feel like one.

just wonder, sometimes.

jackpot.

x

[itonje]

theres this guy and like I wouldnt call him a friend of my parents because what happened was that my mom was friends with his wife and she only met that guy at a dinner party with friends she took her to but then my mom and that lady got into a fight and now she tells me never to eat any food she makes anyways. they're at this party because this party is hosted by the people who hosted the og dinner party and hes still friends with the hosts but anyways. hes a big like conservative homophobe and he always has to share his dogshit opinions and 'jokes' with everyone and I dont want to get into a fight with this dude at this girls 3rd birthday party but if he keeps on saying the f slur i will. last time we saw him he kept on talking about how much he thought masks were stupid in a convo with my dad and I could see my dad shaking and sweating he was really getting mad at him. his 20 something son was arrested at the jan 6th Capitol thing