fictionkinfessions - Tumblr blog

[fictionkinfessions]

i haven't had many opportunities to sit down and write about how i feel about you in general. i've said it before and it wouldn't hurt to say it again.

i hate you, so much. you ruined my life. you ruined the other contestants' lives. i fear so badly you're going to ruin that baby's life. but god forbid i tell others how i feel about you because you've dealt with a lot of shit too and you've got a lot of people in the fandom defending you.

i get it, it sucks. you're clearly traumatized. but at the same time that's no excuse. i try so fucking hard to understand you, and i tried to care, but it's so hard when all i could ever think about you is the fact that you made me lose my job, my apartment, my friends, my relatives, EVERYTHING i had.

i'm lucky i'm in a place where i have my friends back (and some new ones) and i can live the rest of my days not having to worry about the competition or the plane, but i still go to sleep knowing my life would never be the same again.

it's so hard not to give up. the people around me are my only motivation going forward, and it doesn't matter if they actually understand the pain i've had to and still go through. just don't take these people away from me again. no apologies will ever take back everything you've done. (tag as fictive)

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[fictionkinfessions]

Hey uh, open question. is it proper kin etiquette for a non-spiritual kin to look for kin friends or canonmates or whatever? I don’t think this is a spiritual thing for me (not knocking anyone who is a spiritual kin though!) but more like my neurodivergence? Should I try to find canonmates if I don’t have memories or anything ? I legitimately don’t know, so any advice would be appreciated thank you so much!

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[fictionkinfessions]

Oh to look like my kintype, I would give anything to look like my kintype. I want to look in the mirror and see myself, I miss her.

The kin dysphoria hit me really hard all of a sudden, I don't know why. I don't think I can stand to see myself or I'll cry.

-Megpoid Gumi (Vocaloid)

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[fictionkinfessions]

ive been refraining from commenting on the whole gatekeeper situation because its kinda hypocritical to my own stance, which is and has always been, if it bothers you just keep scrolling. but im doing it anyway because people still need to be reminded of this all the time. no judgement, this is the opposite of how social media algorithms encourage you to behave! the hard truth is, you will literally never get enough information from an anonymous ask to know what the sender is like. anything you think you know about the person on the other side of the screen that's not textually present in that ask is a guess you're making- you don't know. you can't know, it's literally just impossible. you can feel however you want about a public post, but commenting on it in that same space only ever leads to shitty pointless arguments and doubling down and it's a whole mess that MPC has to deal with. if something bothers you that much, you can make a post on your own blog about it, but airing it out here while on anon has not ever been productive; and again, i'm only sending THIS ask because i know that many people who use this blog, for any number of reasons including being neurodivergent, need these clear reminders now and again. scroll past posts you don't like! block tags! curate your space! you're allowed to feel angry and uncomfortable but there is literally no reason to remark on it and start arguments. being anonymously told 'no, actually, youre wrong, and while im at it im going to insult you and assume a bunch of things about you' on the internet has never once changed anyone's mind. this is exactly why directly invalidating ask responses and ex-friend/ex-partner vents are both against the rules here. it just causes completely unnecessary drama in a situation where you could have said nothing or kept your grievances private. and if you come here to say something presumptuous and rude, REGARDLESS of your underlying opinion, people are going to get pissed off, regardless of THEIR opinions. tl;dr your actions have consequences, not every situation requires your input, and getting into an argument online is a choice you didn't have to make. i'm not perfect at this (which is why this ask exists) but internalizing it has saved me a hell of a lot of trouble and time.

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[fictionkinfessions]

I LOVE THIS blog I WANT TO LIVE HERE !-Drill girl (sparkle on raven)

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[fictionkinfessions]

what the fuck is even going on like. guys this is a fictionkin confession blog why are you talking about like. syscourse or whatever on here. what are you doing

fwiw it's for fictional sources, and has been for several years. So yes, fictives, soulbonds, synpaths, copinglinks are welcome here. So long as their source is fictional.

[fictionkinfessions]

How can I be from a problematic source, know it’s problematic, and still go into an anxiety attack over people calling it problematic?

Why am I so weak I’d let a random person’s opinion affect me? Why would I let it affect me that much?

-Andy Graves (TCOAAL)

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[fictionkinfessions]

I think we all could use a bit of positivity in light of recent events on this blog… here’s a YouTube channel of a guy who builds terrariums and makes videos about the creatures inside.

Content warnings for this channel (based on what gets tagged on this blog) are ableist language, insects/similar creatures, dead/injured insects/similar creatures, food (not people food), one video mentioned dogs, one video I think mentioned vomit, and that’s all I can think of. I’m probably missing something cus I haven’t watched them all but the first three warnings I listed are the main ones.

BTW if this isn’t allowed I totally understand and you can delete this.

https://youtu.be/_LsjDyusAlE?si=3oDFzQoMGNB0PZlH

Clickable link https://youtu.be/_LsjDyusAlE?si=3oDFzQoMGNB0PZlH

ps thank you for the content warnings, I much appreciate them <3

[fictionkinfessions]

Idk if “adapt adopt survivor” applies to people willing themselves to be a system mpc

I'm talking to the anon about adapting and adopting new viewpoints into their worldview. Maybe reread that? Or was I unclear to whom I was speaking?

Connie / mod party cat

[fictionkinfessions]

Current Ask Games for April

Second round for April 16st through 30th

. 1 Fic Counts "Go to your fanfic site of choice and tell me how many fanfics there are of you / your source / a pairing you are in, and if you're happy about that?" party note please do not name or link fics!

. 2 Canon Vines ""idea for an ask game: what is a vine that you think fits your source/some of your source medias? ^_^"" party note I spose it can include tiktoks and meme vids too?

Ask Game Rules and Tags below the Read More

A pinned posts for ask games will be created with current games and past games.

Ask games have an approximate 2 week time limit for participation. Meaning the first 14 days will be a single set of ask games, then we move onto the next set.

Ask game replies sent after the 2 week limit will be posted after the second month's ask game is over.

Ask games are limited to 1-3 per week, depending how many are sent in, or how many replies they get.

Ask games have the tag 'ask games'. Ask game replies will have the tag 'gamrep'. It's a unique tag that should prevent accidental blacklisting of other posts unrelated to this.

Ask game replies will be manually interspersed between confessions, at least every other post, or multiple every other post.

Ask games and their replies are on hiatus until September 1st. Excluding ones sent previous to this which are still on the queue.

Ask games sent in before then will be saved until September 1st, as will ask game replies.

NOTE. These guidelines may be updated and changed, if there are suggestions or adjustments needed.

[fictionkinfessions]

hey can any endos explain to me why? Im not trying to be rude but having a disability that requires trauma while you don't have trauma seems a bit odd to me. Just trying to ask i dont mean this in a weird way i just want to understand it better :)

party note i'm posting this in good faith and also in the hopes it helps prevent someone from being a dick about endogenic systems in the future out of ignorance. please anon do not let me down, open thy heart and let a smudge of consideration in. Adapt, adopt, survive!

[fictionkinfessions]

Haunting the local DVD bargain bins in the hopes I find a copy of my source because I refuse to pay more than like a dollar for this fucking movie

-Roman Hurst (Force Of Execution)

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[fictionkinfessions]

Some of y'all really think therapy is a cure all, huh? Even ignoring the points that some people can't access therapy or may already be in therapy, you guys do realize that for some people therapy can do more harm than good, right? Some therapists can be abusive or bigoted or just plain bad at their jobs.

Most therapists aren't taught anything about autism and how it works unless they specialize is it, and autism can completely change how well a treatment will work, for example an autistic person's brain is often more prone to lopping information or getting stuck in it, which can cause treatments like EMDR, meant to help desensitize a person to their trauma, can have an adverse effect and actually re-traumatize the person instead (hi this happened to me) and most therapists aren't made aware of that.

Some people have trauma from being forced into psych wards against their will and can't trust therapists anymore out of fear that it will happen again the moment they seem a little too unstable or suicidal.

Don't get me wrong, therapy can be great and it can absolutely help people, but there's no such thing as a one size fits all treatment, therapy is not for everyone and survivors of therapy abuse are often to to just sit down and shut up because we're obviously either too crazy or too stupid to know what we're talking about. Please take it from someone who's been in and out of therapy since pre-school and is now in their 30s, forcing therapy on someone who isn't willing for one reason or another will only make them more resentful and more resistant. I ended up quitting therapy, likely for good, after months of my therapist trying to pressure me into ketamine and shock therapy even though I told her over and over that I wasn't comfortable with the idea, and I have genuinely never felt better about myself, if I go back it will be kicking and screaming.

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[fictionkinfessions]

No, it’s too late to say “nevermind” and take back the mean shit I said about Leyley, now that I’m sad and lonely and want her here again (/pl). I don’t get to do that. I won’t.

-Andy Graves (TCOAAL)

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[fictionkinfessions]

Saying you should get therapy isn’t ableist because people SHOULD want to learn more about whatever hardship they’re facing, work through trauma, and gain better understand themselves/their struggles.

I do seriously think that every single person regardless of if they’re openly mentally ill/struggling either a disorder or not should receive therapy at some point in their life because of just how beneficial it is. Yes, this includes people who have trauma with therapy because there are so many different kinds of therapy that I almost guarantee there is a work around for it. It is not a bad thing to want to better yourself, regardless of so many places on the internet that preach this idea that bettering yourself means you’re faking/never had x y z or that suffering from x y z makes you special, when really all it does is hurt you.

If you are genuinely, whole heartedly struggling with severe depression, severe anxiety or you ARE a person with such severe trauma that you’re a system, or whatever other disorder/condition you can think of that is negatively impacting your daily life, you should get therapy because in most cases it will make the quality of your life improve drastically. It’s also just good to be informed on what’s going on with you.

However! It is CLASSIST, especially in the USA where access to healthcare can be extremely expensive– not to mention how much of a struggle it can be to find a therapist who fits what you need. Specialists are more expensive. Treatment is expensive and dangerous if you can’t stick to it in some cases. That’s common knowledge. Sure, it might be better in Canada or Europe price wise thanks to universal healthcare and insurance taking the blunt end of a lot of it, but there’s still a waitlist you could be on for YEARS to be seen, which can be jumped with, you guessed it, enough money.

All of the asks people have sent only confirm that it’s a classist take (lack of money, therapy being a “burden” to parents (I promise they don’t see it that way, they’d rather have a healthy, happier child)) and NOT an ableist take; I think a lot of people are conflating the two.

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[fictionkinfessions]

to any of my children who i may have hurt in the past, including those of you who are feeling things in regard to my story quest released this patch, i am sorry. sincerely, deeply sorry.

i myself currently don’t have many memories, so i can’t say for certain if i acted in such a way in my own timeline. however, i want you all to know that your father is trying to better itself in this life. i’m… admittedly still somewhat cold and unfeeling at times, even towards those i love… but i’m working to open myself up, as i wish i had done with all of you, even in my role as ‘king’ of the house.

i hope you all have found happiness in this life, and that you will continue to do so in the next. if you find a sibling, hold each other close. care for each other, love each other. do for one another what i cannot.

– with love, your father, arlecchino. ❌🕸️🥀

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[fictionkinfessions]

https://www.tumblr.com/fictionkinfessions/748949137773543424/not-a-kinfession-but-good-god-what-is-going-on?source=share

NAGITO FINGERS IN HIS ASS KOMAEDA IM FUCKING CRYING. looking back on it though youre so right they did sound a lot like him

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