#thank u jugram from recovering from trauma. so happy for u

[littlenekosfan]

i had a thought... a very sad one, i vaguely mentioned it in one of my previous posts, but i think making a post alone emphasize better the point i wanna talk about.. jugram’s lack of empathy

jugram and bazz had known each other for 6 months when bazz looses his home, this is clearly enough for 2 people to get to know each other right...? not quite, its not easy given their background and situation and i think the scene with the fire proves it that it wasnt

i estimate their age here around 12, so they are still kids but socializing isnt awkward like very young kids who cant properly communicate or teenagers who often already have a personality and circle established, around their age they often like to find a new friend to befriend and they often pick people who they relate to or have similar interest, in this case, their personality dont click, but do have that desire to find someone, find a friend, since they both cant find one for different reasons

these are assumptions ofc, but i think bazz doesnt have friends because of his personality and maybe even his status, i dont think people wants to be friend with him, he’s not a “normal” kid, he’s a genius and arrogant, what’s the charm to that? as for jugram, i think its not only how him and his uncle are very isolated from the village, but also jugram not even acknowledging the concept of friendship, having a friends

and for that, they will have different reasons to why they befriended the other, bazz initially just wanted to tease jugram for fun, but seeing his actual weakness and hopelessness to his situation (with abuse), he couldnt bear the idea of leaving him, he does believe the weaker should be helped by the stronger, and i cant blame him for thinking like that, he’s after all, still a kid, and for jugram, he wasnt aware of the concept of making friends but it doesnt mean he didnt need it, he was very reluctant of the idea at first, but seeing the care and love bazz gave in that small exchange, made him realize his feelings matters too, he wanted to keep that and being friend with bazz would give him that new flame in his empty heart

all that to say, despite hanging together occasionally during 6 months (because, they still had their normal life on their side, bazz had a home, parents, jugram needed to hunt if he wanted to eat and his uncle is demanding) it wasnt enough to make them close, and this is not bc of the time or frequency they would see each other but their own background, jugram never felt empathy, not even sympathy, the only true glimpse he got from it was from bazz from the few times they hanged and ofc that’s clearly not enough to undo years of trauma and mistreating

so when i see the jugram from when he was a kid to a teenager, the gap is huge, its very impressive and i would even say comforting

here when bazz looses his home, he’s so devastated that he collapse onto his knees and even cry (deducing from the panel) but jugram isnt even fazed by that, and i mean, not about his uncle, but his own friend’s grief, its not that he couldnt relate to the loss of parents or dear people, he simply cant, since he never experienced love and even less empathy, so for jugram, comforting bazz isnt even something natural because nobody comforted him before, jugram lacks a lot of socialization and understanding human emotions because nobody told him crying is okay, nobody gave him a hug, nobody taught him how to love, because he was never loved

this is why when i see jugram as a teen, i see someone who recovered so much from trauma and living not with a mask bc he never had one back then, he was just broken, he lives as a self who is loved and cared better than the kid he used to be

its small like that, but his closeness, physically, and his emotions being very openly worrisome... it just gets me, i just *heart shatters* THEIR PERSONAL SPACE IS JUST, NOT THERE BC THEY ARE THAT CLOSE I- *CRIES*

ahem, there is this panel...... oh my god, he actually touched him....... i honesly cant recall all their physical contact, but to be so little, this is not only important but also very normal

its now normal for jugram to worry, to care, to have empathy toward someone because you care about them, he started to understand being physical and getting a hold of people you care about is something natural, and this is such a big growth in his character...

from a child who was broken from birth (not referring to his quincy heritage, but his environment, where/who he grew up with) who couldnt understand the feelings to care and sympathize with someone to a teenager who empathizes and care about the people he loves....