#thanks 2 @burstfoot for her invaluable contributions

[clownowo]

Ace attorney characters ranked based on how well I think they dance

Phoenix Wright: 6/10 he’s nothing to write home about but he took a musical theater class or two in college so he can keep a beat at least.

Mia Fey: 6/10 no real interest in dancing but she's not bad or anything. could keep up with Diego well enough

Apollo Justice: 4/10 he wouldn’t suck so bad if he could just loosen up.

Athena Cykes: 9/10 very fit. does cardio. has taken some dance classes for fun.

Maya Fey: 8/10 what she lacks in skill she makes up for in spirit

Pearl Fey: 6/10 has the physical abilities to dance but not the confidence. also has very little reference for how she could be dancing

Trucy Wright: 8/10 performer with good dexterity for sleight of hand. Music isn’t really her area of expertise but she does well enough. enjoys playing just dance with Athena

Miles Edgeworth: 3/10 he can do one dance and it’s the Steel Samurai season 4 ending credits dance and he does it flawlessly but nothing else. took ballroom dancing classes with the von Karmas but he wasn’t particularly adept.

Franziska von Karma: 4/10 she found the aforementioned ballroom dancing classes tedious but damn if she wasn’t going to perform in them perfectly. she can’t do anything else and refuses to try

Godot: 7/10 he can do a killer tango

Klavier Gavin: 2/10 despite being an internationally famous rockstar, when performing he usually has a guitar in his hands so he’s never needed to dance. he cannot dance. he doesn’t particularly want this info getting out

Simon Blackquill: 6/10 danced with Athena a fair bit growing up. knows several anime dances

Nahyuta Sahdmadhi: 7/10 i haven't met this guy yet but my friend tells me they think he'd know a fair bit of traditional dances.

Winston Payne: 0/10 or 10/10 no in between. he's either literal garbage or so bad it loops back around to incredible. he had insane disco game in the 70s but now all the rookies laugh at him.

Larry Butz: 8/10 best dancer between him, Phoenix and Miles. he’s gotta be getting his girlfriends somehow

Dick Gumshoe: 5/10 a little too clumsy and can't keep a beat well but bonus points for his enthusiasm

Ema Skye: 1/10 doesn't even try

Kay Faraday: 10/10 incredible dexterity and physical ability. lots of whimsy and spirit.

Sebastian Debeste: 3/10 despite the baton, no real sense of rhythm

Manfred von Karma: 4/10 the one to sign Franziska and Miles up for ballroom dance lessons

Matt Engarde: 2/10 he got the jammin samurai killed so I don’t think he can jam

Dahlia Hawthorne: 8/10 she can boogie. gets down at clubs and parties. arguably the most normal about dancing

Sister Iris: 7/10 had to learn to boogie to properly emulate her sister but she isn’t quite as suited for it and has much less experience

Kristoph Gavin: 1/10 he likes watching but he doesn’t dance at all

Ryunosuke Naruhodo: 10/10 the most beautiful dance of deductions you've ever seen in your life

Susato Mikotoba: 10/10 while she's not particularly skilled with a koto, she learned to dance from the best

Herlock Sholmes: 10/10 THE dancer. THE ONE AND ONLY great detective known for his dance of deductions

Iris Wilson: 10/10 raised by the aforementioned one and only herlock sholmes

Yujin Mikotoba: 10/10 took to tap dancing incredibly well during his time in britain

Kazuma Asogi: 6/10 he's not particularly good but he somehow makes it look cool anyway

Barok Van Zieks: 7/10 used to be much better, before the professor kililngs he actually enjoyed dancing a fair bit. took classes growing up. retained a lot of the muscle memory

Gina Lestrade: 6/10 she doesn't have any training but if she did she'd do fairly well

Tobias Gregson: 2/10 he's the best investigator at scotland yard according to Sholmes, so you can imagine how bad the rest of the yard is at dancing

Maria Gorey: 8/10 she can dance just fine she just has no interest. the one time they got her to dance Herlock had very courteously offered his body up for dissection. "AFTER I'M DEAD, WOMAN!"

Albert Harebrayne: 1/10 he can't. he tries. Barok tried to teach him. he understands the theory! he knows the steps! he can't do it. he can't.