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dream-girls-evil · 6 years

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5, 18, 19, 24, 37, 38, 39 and 45 foxxay and hotgomery please?

Wow this turned out so long…oops.

- Nicknames? Pet names? Any in-jokes?

Foxxay/Goode-Day: Misty only called Cordelia her full name when she’s trying to be serious about something. Otherwise it’s “Dee” or “Delia”–or “Miss Cordelia” if she wants her to crack a smile–”darlin’”, or “cher” when she’s trying to be charming and probably get away with something. Cordelia calls Misty “baby” and “sweetheart”. When she thinks Misty is asleep, sometimes she’ll kiss her on the forehead and call her “my Melacine/my Rhiannon”.

Hotgomery: Nora is not one for pet names. She only–grudgingly–lets Billie get away with calling her “sweetheart”. “Beautiful” makes her blush though, so Billie tries to sneak that one in as much as possible, and sometimes she’ll tease Nora by coming up with atrociously cutesy names like “pookie pie” and “love muffin” just to watch the comical look of disgust on her face. Nora calls Billie “my darling”–”Billie Dean” or her full name if she’s cross.

- What are their dates like? How long do/did they date? Do they ever feel the need to take a break from each other?

Foxxay/Goode-Day: Friday nights are reserved for date nights; most of the girls go out with friends, so it’s nice and quiet. They might go to a nice restaurant or a jazz club, but sometimes it’s nice just to relax with a romantic bubble bath and watch a cheesy rom-com in bed. They both need space occasionally–they’re both introverts who have to deal with a lot of people and know it’s time to escape when they start snapping at each other. Misty will take a day or weekend at her swamp, or Cordelia will plan a day out for herself, and they’ll both be relaxed by the time they come home.

Hotgomery: Since Nora can’t exactly leave, date nights consist of romantic dinners at home. perhaps dancing to an old record or a movie if Billie can convince her. Mostly, they just spend time together talking or reading independently. They both love Scrabble, and Billie has never won a game of chess against Nora. Because Billie is gone a lot filming her show, they have plenty of breaks. They’d like fewer (but realistically, they’d get on each other’s nerves).

- What do they fight about? What are their arguments like? How do they make up?

Foxxay/Goode-Day: When it comes to everyday annoyances, these two are pretty good at letting each other know what’s up and figuring out a solution without a lot of fuss. There are a few topics that have been recurring issues, though, namely Cordelia taking her job too seriously and Misty not taking hers seriously enough–at least according to the other person. It’s a slow build: one will lose track of time, make a decision without the other, or disagree on what’s a fair punishment for a student; the other will freeze them out; they’ll trade jabs and irritated sighs for a day or two until one of them finally snaps starts trying to justify their side. They don’t shout too much, just get in the routine blows about Cordelia being a little controlling and Misty being a little unreliable. Then they’ll sigh, realize they’re both stressed, and talk it out on a walk.

Hotgomery: Oh, these two are both very hotheaded, so when they go at it they really go at it. Loudly. Depending on who starts the fight, it’s either about Nora being spoiled or Billie being gone too much, but occasionally also Billie putting herself in danger (the ghosts still tell stories about their legendary fight after the “Hotel Incident”). Things usually end with angry sex. It’s kind of hot, they kind of like it, it’s all kind of a game–they love to challenge and wind each other up and blow off the steam together. They’re only seriously upset with each other if one of them starts crying–like when Nora thought Billie was willing to risk never seeing her again for a stupid tv special, and Billie realized she was an idiot–and then they really do try to sit down and work things out calmly.

- Any doubts about the relationship?

Foxxay/Goode-Day: Cordelia had a lot of doubts—first about Misty actually returning her feelings, then about whether being together was a good idea. She’s always been such a private person and struggled with the media scrutiny after revealing the coven. That alone would invite hate crimes, never mind her being in a same-sex relationship. It was hard for Misty to convince her things would be okay and that they could protect the coven from anything that happened. They had a couple fights about it—bad fights, with Misty questioning whether Cordelia was really ready and wanted to be in a relationship.

Hotgomery: The ghost thing was definitely an issue. Nora was sure Billie would eventually leave her. A lot of the fights in the beginning of the relationship were about Nora being possessive because she thought Billie would meet someone else. Billie has had her doubts, too: with every year she gets older than the ghost, she worries Nora will stop wanting her. The situation is hard for both of them, and there’s always the question in the back of both their minds of how long they can keep this up.

- How much would they be willing to sacrifice for the other? Any lines they refuse to cross? (answered for foxxay in another post)

Hotgomery: Nora doesn’t have much, but everything that she has, she gives to Billie. For her, she tries so hard to let go of her fear and learn about technology so they can connect when Billie is gone, and just accepting that she had feelings for another woman meant abandoning many of the notions of her time. Billie has thought long and hard about what she’s willing to give up for Nora. They don’t talk about it, but both know that Billie will age and eventually die. She knows Nora would never allow her to do it if she knew, but Billie would be lying if she hadn’t thought about how to make sure they’d be together after her death.

- What are they like in the bedroom? Any kinks/fetishes/turn-ons? Anything they won’t do? (answered for foxxay in another post)

Hotgomery: Like much of their relationship, sex is a battle of wills; riling each other up and challenging for control is their foreplay. Nora prefers Billie to be dominant/on top but has no problem telling her exactly what she wants—after she gets through the learning curve, which is long and involves many red-faced conversations. It’s hard for her to overcome the idea that women are supposed to be passive participants, but on occasions she feels confident enough to be on top, she’ll go wild. Things can get a little rough (Nora has recently discovered a fondness for biting), but Billie hasn’t really sold her on the use of any toys.

- Who initiated the relationship? Who kissed who first? When did they realize they were in love? (answered for foxxay in another post)

Hotgomery: Billie had always been intrigued by Nora, the oldest ghost at the Murder House, and each time they talked it became harder and harder to leave. She doesn’t know exactly when it happened, but at some point she realized that Nora had become the first person she wanted to tell everything about her day, that Murder House had started feeling like home. It scared her, because she had no reason to think Nora could or would ever look at her romantically. They’d talked about Billie dating women a few times, but it always made Nora uncomfortable.

Nora struggled even more because she didn’t understand what her feelings for Billie meant. She just knew that being around her made her heart beat faster and engaged her mind more than anyone she’d ever met. Vivien and Moira were actually the ones who helped. Billie had been helping her make friends with them so she wasn’t so lonely when the medium was gone, and neither had failed to notice how the two gravitated towards each other. One evening once Billie left (after a long, lingering hug), they sat Nora down over tea and asked her about it. The conversation was like pulling teeth, but eventually they did get her to realize the extent of her feelings. And Nora decided that she had to make Billie leave; she wasn’t going to let her friend be chained to this house the way she was, if Vivien was right and Billie even felt that way about her.

She started distancing herself. It broke her heart to watch Billie think she did something wrong, but Moira told her it was for the best to make a clean break. When she told Billie she didn’t want to see her anymore, they both cried. But Billie was also angry; they ended up yelling at each other, Nora arguing that she needed to find real people who could give her everything she wanted, while Billie shot back that she was perfectly capable of deciding what she wanted for herself. Eventually though, she realized what Nora was really saying, and asked her point-blank if that was why. Nora admitted it, and Billie said she was in love with her, too, and kissed her.

- Any special dreams or goals they have as a couple? Any heartbreaks? Regrets?

Foxxay/Goode-Day: Misty and Cordelia are dedicated to restoring the coven to its glory days and making the world safer for witches, but they also have dreams of starting their own family. Their biggest heartbreak comes from the knowledge that Cordelia has thirty years to live. In theory, it’s a long time, but not when Misty thinks about having another forty or fifty to live without her. Cordelia regrets all the times she failed Misty, all the times she died because Cordelia didn’t know how to protect her, but Misty always says it doesn’t matter; Cordelia saved her in the end.

Hotgomery: Billie and Nora try not to talk about the future; they know most of the things they dream about will never happen, like being able to free Nora from the murder house. Nora is torn between wanting to save Billie from being trapped in the hell that is Murder House forever and being utterly terrified of a whole eternity to miss her. They both regret all the time they wasted ignoring their feelings, and Billie loves her work but hates how much it takes her away. They try to just focus on enjoying every minute they do have together.

#american horror story #ahs headcanons #foxxay #goode day #hotgomery #nora montgomery #billie dean howard #misty day #cordelia goode

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thesearchforspirk · 7 years

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1 x 1 : Where No Man Has Gone Before {Subtext Study}

As we’re going in production order (which seems to produce a more linear story) the story of Gary Mitchell and his tinfoil eyes is where we’ll begin this journey into Star Trek subtext. There’s quite a bit in this episode to wade through, particularly of the homoromantic quality, so let’s get started.

Tellingly, perhaps, our episode opens on our two main objects of study playing their beloved three-dimensional chess. As someone who has been in Spirk fandom for awhile now, I can attest that 3D chess is mentioned as an activity Kirk and Spock engage in together in their recreation hours in about 99.9% of fanfics (logically, the chances of them having recreation hours that overlap with one another is about slim to none, given their respective positions, but a little willing suspension of disbelief never hurt anyone). However, I think we only see them actually play it in-canon in about 2-3 episodes total, if that.

Still, there’s something significant about the choice of chess as a game for these two to engage in and this particular game’s history as a means of courtship and flirtation.

This is also our first indication that Spock adheres strongly to the fact that he’s Vulcan and “without” emotions and that Kirk delights in teasing him about the fact. “Certain you don’t know what irritation is?” Kirk asks, knowingly, with a shit-eating grin after he makes a move that Spock wasn’t anticipating (having already smugly announced he would have Kirk check-mated in his next move). The banter here relies heavily on the natural affection between the two of them, that which the script wants the audience to be aware of. Though Spock alleges to be immune to emotions he is clearly anything but, and yet, Kirk finds an affectionate delight in this fact. He’s allowed to rib Spock a little bit about this without threat of any real offense, indicating a very high level of trust between them.

Certainly this could be the banter of two who are just friends and have no unspoken attraction or romantic interest between them, but talk like this often manifests as flirtation as well. Kirk’s decidedly sultry smirks at Spock (the first of thousands that would proceed them in the next few decades of material) and his huskier tone of voice are interesting acting choices for Shatner to have made if he hadn’t intended to play Kirk as flirty in this scene.

As I will often disclaim, I’m not suggesting that the original intent was the same as the interpretation I’m asserting here. What I am saying is that the evidence for a layer of flirtation is there, be it intentional or not, and to not at least acknowledge it is to ignore the obvious.

Moving on!

Kirk has been attempting to stay alert for any news about a recently heard Earth distress signal (despite the -ahem- distractions). News of said distress signal finally comes in, interrupting this little verbal tango between our boys, and Kirk and Spock rush to the transporter room to find an old-style ship recorder. Spock asserts that due to the damage on the object it’s likely that something happened to the ship (in the vein of blowing up or whatever I guess). The recorder begins transmitting a signal as soon as Scotty starts feeding tapes into the computer and Kirk puts the ship on red alert.

Enter Gary Mitchell, barely missing the turbolift ride alongside our boys. It’s made obvious right away that Gary and Jim are close from the casual way they greet and chat about ship stuff even under red alert. Gary then turns his attentions to Spock and, weirdly, sort of sizes him up before asking in a more straightforward tone “So, you finished the game?”. Spock nods and moves forward to the doors preemptively while explaining, “[Kirk] played most illogically. His next move should’ve been the rook.” Behind Spock’s back, Kirk grins and makes a throat-cutting motion to Gary to subtly indicate Spock’s obvious loss.

When I first saw this episode, and each time I return to it after a prolonged absence, I always initially get a sort of antagonistic vibe between Spock and Gary. On my original watch I thought it was going to be some sort of bigotry thing on Gary’s behalf against Spock’s being a Vulcan (which does happen with a different character in a different episode) but that ends up not being the case here. We really have no reason to believe there’s anything antagonistic between them, at least nothing that’s addressed directly.

(note Kirk’s got another amused, if not sultry look for Spock here)

The likelihood is that Spock’s cold retreat to the turbolift doors is more attempt to escape mention of his chess defeat than anything else. Gary’s once over of him, however, and hard tone of voice might suggest something else. Could be an organic jealousy in the fact that they share a mutual, close friend and seem to be on equal levels of bonding with the same person, but don’t seem to have much in common with one another and occupy awkward spaces beside him, sort of privately elbowing one another for the same category in Jim Kirk’s life. But what is that category, exactly? Is it just one of platonic friendship or something else?

A common argument against Kirk/Spock is the assertion that Jim (specifically) is clearly a lover of women and has never taken a male lover in canon and so must be, therefore, purely heterosexual and uninterested in men. This is a bit of fallacy in an of itself because 1) of course we never saw Kirk take a male lover in any sort of obvious way, this was a show produced in the 60′s for godssake, 2) Kirk’s frequent and, presumably exclusive, taking of female lovers doesn’t necessarily exclude him from being able to find men attractive and enjoy romantic/physical relationships with them, 3) most of the time when Kirk would take a female lover it was to gain something for the purpose of a mission; only rarely was he actually indulging in sincere feeling or attraction.

All that said, there is an argument that Gary Mitchell might be the earliest precedent and indication that Kirk has taken at least one male lover before and, therefore, has a history of finding men physically and romantically attractive. Due to the attitudes of the time it’s purely speculation based on subtext and ambiguity, but one I’ll explore here as we learn more about Gary and Jim and their history together.

In any case, I will also add that sexuality is fluid and being attracted exclusively to one gender for most of one’s life doesn’t mean that one may never find themselves drawn to something different at some point. Even if Kirk had never taken a male lover, had never found men attractive in any way prior to Spock, it doesn’t mean that Spock couldn’t have been an exception. I would also assume at this point in earth’s social development that relationships of all kinds between consenting adults are accepted with much more open minds, that any bigotry that might keep someone from indulging in or owning up to a desire would no longer exist. Food for thought. Back to our regular programming.

The three men go to the bridge and take their respective places. Kirk orders neutral warp at the edge of the galaxy and puts out a ship-wide message that the disaster recorder came from the SS Valiant two hundred years ago, the hope being that more insight will eventually be granted to them as to what happened to said ship. Meanwhile, Spock continues to have no luck with the burnt out tapes.

The department heads arrive on the bridge as ordered and we meet Dr. Elizabeth Dehner, a psychiatrist that recently joined the crew. Sidenote: if the Enterprise was ever granted a psychiatrist to replace her after this episode (spoiler alert) they certainly aren’t part of the ‘department heads’ club as we never meet them- maybe due to the events of this episode, who knows, but I can at least hope the Enterprise continued to value the mental health of her crew members despite all that. I digress.

Spock announces that the recorder has finally begun to transmit something and Kirk steps up behind him at the science station because it’s absolutely 100% necessary to the mission. Completely. Because it’s not as if Kirk would probably have been able to hear him fine from his chair or anything.

(okay, this one is just me being a bit silly but STILL, really now, Jim)

Dr. Dehner expresses an interest in knowing how the crew of SS Valiant might have fared psychologically under the distress. Gary Mitchell expresses his respect of his female crewmen and women in senior positions of power by openly flirting with her in front of the crew and then, just as openly in front of the Captain, calling her a “walking freezer unit” when she doesn’t reciprocate. He even makes ‘ooo ice queen’ face at Kirk after she rebuffs him. Nowadays that would probably, hopefully, rightfully so be grounds for sexual harassment and something Kirk would’ve had a responsibility to shut down right then and there, but y’know. 60′s. Women in power are scary so we have to knock them down a peg.

Weird how Star Trek is meant to take place in a more open-minded, less bigoted, socially progressive time in our future, but is still sometimes a product of the generation it was produced in. I love it regardless, of course.

Anyway, Spock begins to relay the spotty transmitted information; apparently the Valiant encountered a magnetic storm and then, for reasons that are unclear, began frantically searching for information on ESP in humans. Kirk asks Dr. Dehner about this and she helpfully explains that some humans can indeed see future events, but that the ability is never very strong. Spock continues that one crewman seemed to have recovered and that was when the frantic search for ESP info began, followed by an apparent self-destruct order from the Captain. Unnerved by this, Kirk orders that they leave the galaxy at warp factor 1.

Unfortunately, a magnetic force field appears right about then and the two women on the bridge grab the hands of the men nearest to them because, obviously, right? 60′s. Gary and Dr. Dehner are struck by the magnetic surges while the rest of the bridges’ control panels get various levels of fucked up. Even still, the Enterprise makes it through the storm and Kirk orders Spock to collect damage reports (with a very necessary and much needed hand on his shoulder, naturally). He then checks on Dr. Dehner (who appears to be fine) and then Gary, whose head he lovingly cradles in his hands.

(This tender moment only goes on to show us that Gary has spooky tinfoil eyes now!!! Can’t even imagine how painful those archaic contacts must have been for the actor.)

Upon return from commercial break, Kirk informs the audience that the Enterprise’s main engines and warp drive have been fucked beyond use. He also has Spock checking out Gary and Dr. Dehner’s records for ESP ratings, only to see that they have some of the highest on the ship (these must be old records though because there’s no way those two are 23 and 21 years old, respectively, at the time of this episode- SORRY, BUT TRUE), concluding that this must be why they were shocked and lived to talk about it. Dr. Dehner returns with autopsy results on the deceased, informing that their brains were burned out with the electric shock. She also vehemently defends ESP ability against Kirk and Spock who are suspicious of whether or not ‘espers’ are dangerous.

Kirk then goes to check on Gary who’s been under medical observation and we’re granted a deeper insight into their friendship.

Gary somehow knows it’s Kirk before he sees him or allows him to say anything. He points out that Jim looks worried and Jim replies with a knowing smile, “I’ve been worried about you ever since that night on Deneb IV.” Gary laughs and looks down coquettishly. “Yeah, she was nova, that one.” The fact that we have no idea what they’re talking about and that this conversation barely makes any sense of is no real importance. We’re not supposed to understand. This is meant to feel like listening to two friends who’ve known each other so long and so well they’re almost speaking a shared, exclusive language about experiences and jokes only they understand. Gary talks some about his weird eyes and then he goes back to teasing Kirk. Apparently our strapping Captain was something of a bookworm nerd back in his academy days, who knew?? (His bookishness happens to be one of my favorite aspects of Kirk’s character and one that history so often forgets in favor of him being some kind of machoman womanizer- ugh) To this teasing Kirk responds with a blush that would rival that of a school girl with a crush on her teacher.

(tee hee OH GARY STOP IT)

Gary mentions how he “aimed that little blonde lab technician” at Kirk probably to distract him from being too tough in his student-teaching position, to which the latter responds with, “You what??!” “Yep. I outlined her whole campaign for her.” “I almost married her!” So, we know Kirk likes the intelligent types as much as he is one himself. Fascinating. (Sidenote: I personally headcanon that the “little blonde lab technician” was Ruth that Kirk ‘sees’ in Shore Leave, but that’s for another episode discussion) Gary warns Kirk to be good to him because he’s “getting even better ideas” now. He also has a forebodingly echo-y voice now to indicate to a wary Kirk that shit’s about to get real.

So, what’s the deal with Jim and Gary? Everything is played rather ambiguously between them, certainly in no small part to indicate to us, the audience, that they’re close and have been for years. To have them discuss blatantly spelled out exposition of their shared past would feel in-organic and I’m glad the Star Trek writers chose ambiguity for this reason. But this ambiguity, plus the sultry way Gary teases Kirk and the affectionate, bashful blushes and smiles he gets in return could easily indicate that their friendship may not be platonic (or perhaps it is now, but hasn’t always been- maybe there was some sexual exploration together at the academy and feelings due to this that Kirk never really shook). There’s subtext enough here to believe so, I think. I’ll leave it to the reader to decide whether or not Gary could qualify as one of the earliest indications that Jim may not be so immune to masculine charms as history would so direly like for us to believe.

Anyway, Kirk returns to the bridge to find Spock watching Gary’s superhuman reading speed that is ever increasing. Spock pointedly asks the rhetorical question, “Is that Gary Mitchell? The one you used to know?”. A rather...knowing question for a being that claims to not understand or experience emotions. Kirk orders a 24 hour watch on Sickbay and all the examinations and tests possible. Gary then looks over at the viewing screen, right at Kirk, as if to suggest he knows he’s being watched.

Back in Sickbay proper Dr. Dehner has arrived to...probably do an examination or something but she’s not coming off as 100% professional. Since she’s being a little bit more receptive now Gary reluctantly apologizes for having called her a “walking freezer unit” and she assures him that “women professionals do tend to overcompensate”. Once again, this has been obligatory misogyny thanks to the 60′s!!! This little song and dance continues between them as Gary changes the readings on his vitals panel and pretends to be dead (just to get Dr. Dehner close to him- smooth, buddy) and recites a love sonnet at random from memory (that was actually written by Roddenberry himself when he was an aviator- the more you know!).

It’s funny how het flirtation in this show is only different for being more blatant in dialogue and sometimes physicality. The acting choices, reactions, tone of voice, expressions, etc, are pretty much the same when the subtext suggests it’s two men flirting. Just saying.

Lt. Kelso comes in to check on Gary and Gary informs him exactly what’s wrong with the engine. Have you gathered yet that this guy has special powers now? Gee, I hope so, because it’s not as if the show has been making that abundantly clear.

The Department Heads once again meet in the...meeting room, I suppose, Lt. Kelso showing via a blown circuit that Gary was right somehow. Dr. Dehner is late because she’s apparently in love with Gary now to the point of throwing all sense of professionalism out the window; when Spock points out Gary is transforming into something unnatural, Dehner chides him for not showing more compassion despite those on his planet not having feelings like “we” do. Kirk naturally jumps to his defense and Dehner continues in her tirade, chiding Kirk also for not ‘caring more’ about his close friend. Kirk justifiably reminds her that he and Spock are just doing their damn jobs, lady, JESUS. Also what happened to the professional that wisely rebuffed Gary’s attempts to openly flirt with her in front of her colleagues back at the beginning of the episode? I’m more concerned about Dehner’s changing personality at this point, tbh.

It soon becomes clear that Dehner’s been withholding information about Gary’s abilities. Her defense for having done this is that maybe a superhuman man would be really great thing, guys, like a better kind of human being. There’s a long, awkward, uncomfortable pause while everyone in the room gawps at the fucked up eugenics bullshit she just spouted out and it’s kind of a glorious moment, honestly. Instead, offers Spock, Gary’s power will likely grow beyond their ability to thwart him and they will become a nuisance to him and who knows what kind of shit will go down then. Kirk dismisses his Department Heads with the instructions not to tell any of the crew about this.

Kirk solemnly wanders off to the side, lost in thought and no doubt conflicted about possibly having to watch someone he, well, loves (in what way is up to you) change into a monster. Spock, who can’t seem to go a minute of screentime without himself or some other character reminding us that he supposedly can’t feel or doesn’t understand earth emotions or whatever, stops dead in his tracks and slowly turns around to his Captain. Something has compelled him to stay back and continue talking to Kirk and it certainly wasn’t an order.

(the emotionless, stoic Vulcan who can supposedly feel nothing ever looks on concerned for his friend and captain. Does anyone in the crew really buy that no emotions story or-...?)

Spock basically restates what Kirk likely already knows (that Gary is dangerous, duh) and we also hear the first very important, vulnerable use of the name “Jim” instead of Captain. They’re alone, after all, and despite all protestations Spock knows how this affects his friend and cares about that. Deeply, perhaps. Even still, Spock isn’t one for soothing platitudes. He elects instead to remind Kirk of the facts of the situation and when he’s defensively asked to provide suggestions and not just state the obvious, Spock says they can basically maroon Gary on the planet they need the lithium crystals from or they can kill him. No pressure, Jim.

Kirk is upset by all of this so he tells Spock to “get out of here” and Spock insists that those are the choices, whether he likes it or not. “Would you try for one moment to feel?” Kirk rallies back, though he seems more sad than angry. “At least act like you’ve got a heart...we’re talking about Gary...” Spock says that the Captain of the Valiant probably felt the same way- and look at where the waiting got him! Spock also says he thinks he and Kirk probably came to the same conclusion. From the look on Kirk’s face we can assume Spock is right about that.

It’s interesting in this scene that the one thing we already know Kirk finds endearing about Spock -his defensive need for logic in any situation- is the one thing that irritates him enough here to throw back in Spock’s face when he presents the cold hard facts about their situation. However, we as the audience should know by now that the fact Spock was affected and moved enough by Kirk’s mood to stay back and talk to him in private indicates that he does care a great deal. What’s more, that logical perspective, rather than some simpering “poor you” sympathy speech, is exactly what Kirk needed to get his head back in the game and do what needed to be done.

This is the part where I’d go so far as to say Spock has been a better friend (boyfriend, in time) to Kirk than Gary probably ever was. Granted, most of what we’ve seen of Gary thus far has been under the influence of the evil tinfoil eyes, but we do know that Gary was one for toying with Kirk’s emotions to get him to behave a certain way (the “little blonde lab technician”). Gary is even more charismatic than Kirk and one gets the impression he knew what to say to get what he wanted long before the powers. Perhaps Gary was good at telling Kirk what he wanted to hear. Spock tells Kirk what he needs to hear and cares enough about him to bother.

In any case, the decision is made; Kirk will attempt to maroon Gary on the uninhabited lithium mining planet. He, Spock and Dr. Dehner return to Sickbay to retrieve him and Gary has become as cocky as he is powerful. He can read thoughts now so when Kirk asks him what he’d do in this position, Gary says, “Probably just what Spock is thinking now. Kill me, while you still can.” He smiles knowingly as Kirk goes and gives Spock a reproachful, sort of scolding head shake, but no sooner does Kirk come back that Gary strikes him with some kind of electric shock. Was this manipulative little smile just a result of evil tin foil eyes or was this some of a rivalry with Spock resurfacing? Hard to say for sure, as we don’t know much about Gary Mitchell prior to the evil powers.

Once Kirk is struck, Spock, the emotionless Vulcan who we can only assume has no impulse to act on, jumps quickly into action with his phaser because like hell you’re going to strike the Captain and get away with it. He too is struck.

(omg so emotionless, you guys)

Gary goes on some more about how powerful he is and how he needs the right world for his ends when Spock and Kirk somehow take him by surprise and restrain him to the bed (despite the fact that he’s supposed to have super perception and strength, but the plot needs to move after all). They also manage to somehow get him to stand up straight for the transporter despite being unconscious but, again, whatever.

Everyone beams down and Gary is put in a cell while attempts are made to salvage parts for the engines. Gary attempts some carefully worded manipulation on Kirk, recalling the time he intercepted some poison darts aimed at Kirk and nearly died from it, so why should he fear him now? Kirk calls Gary out on his true intentions and the ego that’s grown along with his powers betrays him when he attempts to launch out beyond the electric barrier. The shock drains his power and for a moment he returns to normal.

As Gary’s eyes return to their familiar brown, he says in a very small, soft, almost frightened voice, “Jim...” and we’re granted a much more vulnerable insight into the depth of his feelings for his friend. Perhaps there was some amount of manipulation to their relationship all along, exacerbated now by the god-like powers, but in this very brief moment we’re allowed to believe that perhaps Gary really did care for Jim in a sincere way as Jim so obviously cares for him. Masterful acting, that.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t last. When Gary’s eyes change back he hisses, “I’ll only get stronger. You know that, don’t you?”. Later, Scotty informs Kirk that the salvaged switchboard fits the Enterprise’s bridge and asks if Spock received the phaser rifle he ordered down. Kirk is confused for a moment until Spock shows up with the aforementioned rifle and he’s angered by this. He stomps over to a corner, followed by Spock who explains his reasoning in that Gary keeps getting closer to escaping the force field.

“Dr. Dehner thinks he isn’t that dangerous, what makes you right and a trained psychiatrist wrong?” Kirk argues.

“Because she feels, I don’t. All I know is logic. In my opinion we’d be lucky if we could repair this ship and get away in time.”

Kirk checks on the now completed self-destruct button that Lt. Kelso has rigged up. He shares a long look with Spock before reluctantly ordering the lieutenant to press the button if Mitchell escapes and there’s no other alternative.

This conversation between them is interesting because they’re essentially both avoiding the truths of their respective situations. Kirk sounds not unlike Dr. Dehner did when she was arguing for Gary’s innocence; desperate, emotional, smart enough to know better but compromised enough to convince herself differently. Of course, her arguments were fueled by romantic affection and Kirk’s could easily just be that of a strong platonic bond but...the fact that there’s a parallel between them is interesting.

Meanwhile, the audience should be well aware by now that Spock is quite capable of feeling and acts on those feelings and impulses more than he’d like to admit. I think on some level he and Kirk both know this, so arguing that he “doesn’t feel” wouldn’t really be a convincing argument in this case for someone who knows him so well, if it was meant literally. I think what is really being said here is that Spock isn’t so deeply emotionally compromised by Gary, whereas Kirk and Dr. Dehner are (but not both romantically? Hard to believe). Spock can see and own the difficult truth of the situation where Kirk cannot, or, rather, will not.

Unfortunately this plan doesn’t work out because Gary becomes wise and takes control of some wires to strangle and kill Lt. Kelso. Back at the cell Dr. Dehner continues to argue that he isn’t dangerous and Gary 100% backs her up on this by electrocuting and knocking out Kirk, and then Spock (who of course tries to shoot him with the phaser rifle after he dares to harm the captain). Dr. Dehner finally joins Gary and reveals that she, too, now has tinfoil eyes. SPOOKY.

Later, the not-McCoy doctor comes to tend to the unconscious Kirk and Spock. Kirk wakes first but asks that the doctor not revive Spock until after he’s left to go after Gary- further evidence to the fact that Kirk is well aware Spock feels and acts on something other than logic, particularly where his Captain’s well-being is concerned; either Spock would try to stop him or come with him for protection, but either way Kirk isn’t risking it.

Elsewhere on the planet Dehner and Gary are meandering around exchanging awkward dialogue, making the artificial plant section of Hobby Lobby appear around them and eating fruit and drinking water because apparently despite having god-like powers they still need the essentials to survive. Kirk does a poor job of hunting them from the shadows; they don’t need god-like extra perception to hear Kirk stumbling around, knocking over rocks and otherwise letting the whole planet know of what he’s doing. Gary tells Dehner to go talk to him so she can see “just how unimportant they are”.

The conversation that ensues is the kind that really elevates and defines Star Trek where it is in the pop culture subconscious, one that makes it more than just space people in space doing space things, a layer of complexity that I think has been lost in the translation to the frankly horrific ‘rebooted’ series (my opinion, your mileage may vary). Dehner insists that what Gary is doing is right for her and him and other powerful Espers like them, they are where it will take humanity eons to reach in evolution, but Kirk insists this isn’t true. Though Gary may have ‘god-like’ powers, he still has his inner human frailties and demons that his growing ego won’t resist. A true God needs compassion and wisdom to temper those powers. He begs Dehner to think about this like a psychiatrist would- logically, perhaps? Indeed, Kirk is pulling from that logical need Spock has aptly reminded him of.

Gary finds them again and physically forces Kirk to ‘pray’ to him while assuring him of his inevitable death. Kirk challenges Dehner in asking her if she likes what she’s seeing, “corrupt power corrupting absolutely”. She decidedly does not and finally strikes Gary with her own powers to stop him. He strikes back and weakens her significantly, but she’s done the same to him and this gives Kirk and opportunity to show off his infamous fighting skills, get his shirt ripped open, and straddle his probable former lover in the sand. Not the first time he’ll have borderline erotic fight like this with another man. In the end, he manages to trap and I guess kill Gary in the burial plot made for him. A strategically placed boulder is all that’s needed to stop god-like powers, I’ll have to jot that one down.

(there’s no good reason for this picture other than Shatner was a really hot piece of ass back then and I like to appreciate that from time to time)

The fight has weakened Dehner too much and she dies too, as I clumsily alluded to happening earlier in this write up.

Kirk returns to the ship and adds Dehner and Gary to the list of official losses and ends their service records with the honorable notation that they gave their lives in performance of their duties. Spock, looking concerned, seems to sense the difficulty in this for Kirk and comes to stand silently beside him- a subtle gesture of support and condolence, and it would seem sufficient at that, but then he goes on to assure Kirk that, “I felt for him too” where concerned Gary’s helplessness to the power.

Kirk seems a little stunned at the confession, but the smirk that follows says that he isn’t surprised and is furthermore pleased that Spock would openly admit what he already knows so well. “I believe there is some hope for you yet, Mr. Spock,” he subtly teases with a private grin and knowing look. Spock smiles too, but not until he’s looking forward where no one can really see, not even his Captain.

Certainly there’s a message in this episode about how absolute power needs morality and compassion in equal measure, but there’s also an interesting disparity between Kirk’s two closest ‘friends’. Even before the god-like powers, Gary is very charismatic and knows exactly what to say to make Kirk grin and blush and giggle, whereas Spock is very honest, straightforward, and no nonsense. Gary seems as if he was always emotionally an open book, whereas Spock for many reasons comes across as emotionally unavailable (even if that isn’t really true).

Assuming that there was perhaps a romantic, sexual history with Gary and Jim, it would be a natural assumption that Gary allowed Kirk ‘close’ to him pretty early on, though I think the genuineness of that relationship is difficult to really call for sure. Certainly there was a strong bond between them that I don’t doubt the honesty of, but I get the distinct impression that Gary probably did a lot in the way of bait and switch, reeling Kirk in and then pushing him back out when it suited him, manipulating him from time to time.

Spock, meanwhile, is the exact opposite. Not very charismatic, tells Jim what he needs to hear rather than what he wants to, insists despite the bond growing between them and the feelings and impulses that he acts on that he can’t feel. Or rather, won’t admit that he does. Perhaps this has created something of a frustrating barrier for Jim, always feeling as if he’s distant from Spock where Gary would let him in so readily.

However by the end, it becomes clear that despite his insistence to the contrary, Spock is the more devoted, the more caring, the more dependable ‘friend’, and maybe Kirk has decided he is more than willing to go the extra mile, however long it takes, to help Spock coax down those walls if he so wishes to further their bond...in whatever form that may take.

Thanks for joining me on this long ass study of Where No Man Has Gone Before. I’d love to hear everyone’s thoughts and feelings on the episode, what I’ve made of it, things I may have missed, etc. HMU!

Join me next time for a similarly long write-up and subtext evaluation of The Corbomite Manuever.

#star trek tos #spirk #space husbands #captain kirk #spock #subtext study #slash #come hop aboard the uss kirk is pansexual headcanon ship #season one #episode one #where no man has gone before

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aleatoryalarmalligator · 7 years

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11, 14, 58, 68, and 73. your choice, or all if you feel inclined.

11. Do you ever want to get married?

I don't really want to getmarried now – I generally don't know if marriage is my kind ofdeal. I grew up seeing marriage as some kind of great romance killer– and that's probably wrong, but it's how I saw it. I saw it as away to turn a part of your brain off that thinks for itself (whichmight not even be remotely true). However, there are certain kinds ofpeople who really should get married, and I think it depended on whoI was with. There are some relationships where, when one of theparties is unwilling to marry the other, it actually means thatperson doesn't want to put anything of themselves at stake and issort of using the other person or isn't willing to sacrifice for thatperson – and if the two don't feel the same way, I think that'sreally unfair – so in that sense I see the value of marriage asbeing something of yourself that you were willing to make final. So Ifind that to be kind of telling of an unequal relationship that Iwould not want to be in, not that I want to get married per say, butI wouldn't want to be with anyone who didn't want to be married tome. Yes, I made that answer confusing.

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

No, not for a long time.Bad situations kind of caused me to kind of feel numb about people ingeneral about three or four years ago. My mother says I am verypicky. Perhaps she is correct. Which is a shame, because I reallylove that kind of insanity and would totally welcome that in my life.I guess I just don't meet the right people. When I lived in Idaho,there was really nobody I clicked with. I admit I stopped trying, butit made sense over at the time I did. There are things I probablyhave to work through in therapy eventually

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

Hmm, that is very difficult. I don't think of thingsalong these terms. I would like to add that winning someone's love isnot like winning a bingo game. Hearts are not prizes. If someone isattracted to you and likes you, then they like you. If they don'tthey don't. You should never feel like you have to be someone youaren't in order to win anyone. I will try though for fun.

1. Don't be a violent asshole. I can't stand peoplewho believe in yelling and using fear or who think that pushing theirweight around physically is a recipe to intimidate people get whatthey want. If you feel the need to react this way, you either are agarden variety fuckface or you have severe emotional problems that Iwould probably not be able to help you with. Furthermore, I have apanic disorder and absolutely nobody wants that.

2. I really like a sense of transparency in arelationship. This isn't to say that people can't have secrets orwhathaveyou, but there is this thing where people will write loveletters to one another that are cliché. Most of the time it seemsimpersonally, more like they are mirroring what they are supposed tofeel rather than exploring what they might actually feel or not feel.This varies from what you might read on a Hallmark Valentines Card,to cliché bedroom talk. If someone calls me the prettiest woman inthe world, I would just know they were lying – I will get mad, andthen that person will feel like I am being a bitch, when really, Ifeel like they cheapened the situation. It is not going to hurt me ormake me mad if we can all agree that there are millions of morebeautiful subjects (within our cultural beauty standard spectrum). Imean, I want to be considered beautiful, but don't get lazy about it.I will accept any and all compliments, but I will only take themseriously if they have merit and demonstrate that you actually care.Furthermore, if someone I was with told me that they thought acelebrity was beautiful, I would not get jealous. I see a looooot ofpeople do this in relationships – which I guess that means it doeswork for a great many people. I think it's far more vulnerable ifyou are the kind of person who is willing to grasp at new ideas,rather than cliché old ones.

3. Be witty, humorous, well-read, good with words andeasy to talk to about socially unconventional subject matter, is keenon nonverbal communication. I am far more likely to fall for someonewho is highly intelligence and very funny, and perhaps just a littlebit broken in a self aware kind of way. This isn't to say you can'tget nervous or shy when you first meet someone or have moments whereyou aren't funny. All of that is perfectly fine. It's not necessarythat a person be that way 24-7. But I do get bored of people veryeasily. It's one of my flaws I guess. I have to kind of be kept on mytoes just a little bit. Also, I think there are a lot of people whomI have tried to open up to that get weirded out, or when I saysomething really sarcastic, they have no idea that I was joking andthey get upset. I also get into conversations with a great many menin particular who will sort of get annoyed when I know more thanthem. I definitely don't want someone to agree with me all the timeeither – I love it when someone tells me I am wrong, and thenexplains why. I think for me to fall in love, it's 50% wittycomplicated dialogue that does it. I like clever ways of flirtingwith words and arguments. My friend told me once that I playedromance like chess. Which naturally, is something that you just haveto be. It's a tiresome to those it does not come naturally for.

4. I really would not want to be the one and onlything someone is passionate about. Some people want to be someoneelse's everything, and I am not one of those people. I am not dissingneedy people. A lot of people really do feel centered when they get agreat deal of attention – or they feel genuinely sad and neglected.I am actually weird in this regard, but it would make me immenselymore attracted to someone if they had something else in their lifethat took up some of their time that was a passion of theirs that hadnothing directly to do with me at all. I would be perfectly happywith dating a writer for instance who goes away to write. Noteverything is about me. I like the acknowledgment in another personthat we live in a big world and in order to make our personal mark orchange it for the better, we must sometimes go on our own. It wouldbe freeing to be able to be given that same respect and freedom. Ofcourse, there would definitely be boundaries, or a sense of trust.

5. Lastly I guess, I have to feel like I am loved andthat they like me in some ways more than anyone else. I don't reallywant to feel like I am filling some void in another person that I amnot meant to fill. Or like, they really had a crush on my best friendor sister and just settled for me because the others weren'tavailable. Nor do I want to feel like I am with some dude who talksbadly about me with all his friends but still relies on me for sex,stability and income in an empty content sort of way. Everything onthis list kind of requires that I feel wanted and that therelationship stays dionysian, that I am not some kind of person thatwas settled on. If it is not exciting, if that person is not asenthralled with me as I am them, then the relationship shouldprobably be terminated.

6. This is an extra that I thought worthy of puttingout there. I would really be disappointed if someone let me stagnateas a person and in my goals or didn't care if I stopped growing as aperson. I am attracted to people who actually care how I am feelingand where I am in terms of personal growth. I wouldn't want arelationship that was based on both of us being tired and wanting tosleep on all of our days off. I want to be out doing things. I don'twant to date a task master exactly, but if I am not holding up my endof a commitment I made openly, even with myself, I would want that tomatter to them at least to some extent to someone else. If I wasgetting distant or depressed, I would want to be with someone who inall earnest saw that and talked to me about it.

Obviously, I am not relationships expert. But that iswhat attracts me.

68. What is your sexual orientation?

I think I am straight – given the turn of events inmy life and who I have been interested in plus the dynamic I feelwith men vs, women. But heck, I have not met everyone in the world. Iso seldom fall for anyone that who knows? I do know there are somemen that are so disgusting to me that I would rather date a woman anyday given the theoretical option. But I still think I am probablystraight.

I kind of see myself as a graysexual. I have had alot of friends who are able to know if they want to sleep withsomeone based on immediate contact with other people, and it takes mea great long while to actually be attracted to anyone. It doesn'tmatter if I think they are lovely looking or acting. I just don'tfall that quickly – unless they are radically amazing all the timewhich most of us are not.

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone todo for you?

Take me bowling. Or backpacking, or anything really.I really want to be with someone who likes to do stuff.

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theeurekaproject · 5 years

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Orestes et Electra

"She's kinda cute." Ace said. "The girl, I mean."

Lyra stood in the middle of the spaceport, gazing through the skylight. Her black clothes stood out like a sore thumb in the utilitarian gray of the place, and passing Ministratora castes gave her a wide berth, but she didn't seem to care much. She just looked up through the glass with a rapturous expression, like she was staring at heaven itself instead of the thick, polluted clouds that obscured the sun.

"I guess," T shrugged. "Not really my type.” He wasn’t lying—Lyra was not his type—but she seemed to have an intoxicating quality about her anyway, something T didn’t want to share with Ace.

"Her hair is pretty,” Ace said.

"You say that about every girl you meet.”

"Says the guy who like the green chick from the new Ultores movie," Ace countered.

"Because she's a badass," TB-2215 said. "Besides, she's not even from Ultores, she's from Custodes de Galaxia-"

"And the princess from Stella Bella-"

"She's a badass, too. And talk about pretty hair-"

"Talk about out of your league. And you tell me Acidalia is too classy for me."

"See," T said, "the main difference between crushing on fictional characters and crushing on the Imperatrix is that the fictional characters don't exist."

"'Fictional characters don't exist' isn't what you said when you were crying at Infinitum Bellum," Ace said.

"I did not cry." (Admittedly, he had cried. But everyone in the spaceport did not need to be made aware of this, and besides, it didn't really matter.)

"I was there. You can't hide from me," he replied. "I think you're the only person who could shoot down six people, and then start hysterically sobbing because they killed off-"

"Hey, what's Lyra doing?" he asked loudly, interrupting Ace. "Go talk to her if you think she's so cute. Go on, leave me alone."

"I would, but..." he said slowly, "I mean, they're already looking at her enough. Aren't we supposed to be being inconspicuous?"

"Just go." T lightly nudged him. "Don't be obnoxious. She's supposed to be your pregnant girlfriend, isn't she? Go."

"You're all business lately," he said. "What's up with you?"

T eyed him. "You know exactly what's up. I'm not talking about this further. Not here."

"Right, right," Ace sighed. In a quieter tone, he added, "She'll be okay, you know."

"No, I don't," T retorted. "It's not a guarantee."

"I've seen that woman with a blaster. She shot down twelve people in about five seconds while wearing a tiara of flowers. If there's one person on the planet who can stay alive, it's-"

"Keep your voice down. And not even the most skilled marksman could survive a twenty-person ambush with no backup."

"Andromeda will send backup," Ace said.

T sighed. "But how long will it take? Cassandra’s useless.”

"I don't know. I wouldn't stress about it," he replied. "Things like this have happened before. Remember last week?"

"Yeah," T said, "but Cassiopeia is different. She's an idiot. I think her IQ is the same as the kitten we snuck onto the ship when we were, what, 10? Her plans aren't so much 'incoherent' as 'nonexistent.' You saw what she did— just grabbed-"

He bit his tongue suddenly. Talking about this here was a bad idea. He didn't mention his sisters' names. Cassiopeia on its own was common enough that he could have been referring to any girl, but if he brought up the Imperials, they'd all know exactly who he was talking about—and it was never a good idea to clue in everyone else to private matters.

¨My point is,"he said softly, "my mother is a lot smarter, and a lot more powerful, than Cassiopeia ever was."

At that moment, he heard his sister's name, broadcast in a cool, feminine voice, and he jumped six inches.

"Relax," Ace said. "They're talking about Mars."

He was right: they were just announcing the 1815 flights to Acidalia, Utopia, and Arcadia Planitia—the place she was named after, not the Imperatrix. He checked their tickets—1830. They were scheduled to board in fifteen minutes.

"We better get going," he said. He wondered, briefly, what David Seren himself had thought when he left the planet sixteen years ago—except he actually had a baby with him. Had he expected that he wouldn't return to his home for the next decade and a half? Had he been nervous?

T decided not to think about it too much. He had been reluctant about this whole ridiculous thing in the first place, and anxious about what it would mean to leave Eleutheria unsure of when he was coming back. How long would it take for his squadron to notice he was missing? What if they went searching for him? What if they thought something bad had happened to them both?

He had grown up with these men. They were more brothers than anything else. They'd spent their whole childhood play-fighting, having movie nights, and talking about girls in between school and battle. They were the lucky ones—the sons of the elite, the TB strategists and the AX tech specialists, both immunes, neither concerned whatsoever about death. Maybe they should have been.

He remembered staying up late and listening to stories about distant worlds with the older boys who seemed like they knew the whole galaxy; they'd tell tales of planets with temperatures so low liquid tetraoxygen sloshed around in the seas and burned all the living things it touched, places so rich in carbon and so high in pressure it snowed solid diamonds, the gas giant that moved so fast it rained molten glass sideways. His favorite was the tidally locked planet, with one side trapped in eternal night, and the other so blisteringly hot it was an ocean of lava where the clouds were made of rubies and sapphires. He was always so jealous of the men who actually got to see these strange, alien worlds, and the creatures—or the people, even—who lived on them.

More than once, one of the lower ranking men, someone who actually got to experience the rest of the galaxy, would go missing. They might return a few days later, wide-eyed and skittish; other times they'd simply vanish. Those stories were more fables to be told around the faux-campfires of lights the blasters made when they were charging—tales of ancient alien ruins, of beautiful women with green skin, of life beyond the two known sentient species in the galaxy. Life beyond the Mira.

T didn't think he'd ever really laid eyes on the people who called themselves the Mira, but the tales told about them ranged from hideous monsters to almost fae-like creatures. They were sparkly purple people, and then they were hideous, psychotic animals with no humanity left in their strange, gelatinous minds.

It was probably a little of both.

The propaganda portrayed them as savages, but propaganda always did that. The older men recalled tales of nights with beautiful alien women, but TB-2115 couldn't help but doubt that, too (especially since every eyewitness had described them as "cold," "wet," and "icy to the touch" regardless of their perspective.) The Mira were an enigma.

He always thought they were interesting. The researchers—the xenolinguists, the biological weapons research squad, the historians—were always more appealing to him than the fighters he was supposed to idolize. His specialty—his purpose—was always strategy, military logic. If we put those soldiers there, how many people could die? If we launched the pox now, how many would it infect? He played games of war like they played games of chess—the TB units were the grandmasters, the rest of the army the pawns, Eleutheria the king they protected. But T always found chess boring.

One could only talk so often about endless death and destruction before it got to their head. He may have been a lucky one when it came to his chances of death and dismemberment—virtually nonexistent—but the subject matter of his education was depressing. Playing with people's lives, deciding whether it was worth it to save the people you loved, weighing probabilities, taking the other path because one less soldier might die, putting other people through hell for a benefit so small it was hardy noticed—it wasn't worth the reduced chance of a terrible fate. Especially not when the hypothetical king was an unstable, broken mess of a country who couldn't move one square because every shift required intense thought and argument and the tension was building so thick that the piece would shatter into shards of broken porcelain regardless of what the rest of the board did.

Even here, at the spaceport, people were whispering. It was Lyra—a Cantator in the middle of a nice spaceport?—but something else, too. It was odd, venturing out into regular, civilian life—this talk would not have been tolerated in the barracks. Yet here everyone was, muttering. This planet was as tense as it could get. They were on a dangerous precipice, hovering over the edge of the void, about to fall.

"Hey, T," someone said, breaking him out of his reverie. "Time to go."

"Right," he said thickly. "Yeah."

"This is amazing," Lyra sighed. "I mean, stars, look at this!" She pulled a piece of her bubblegum-pink hair out of the neat braid she'd been trying to wrestle it into, seemingly forgetting about tidiness entirely. "Eleutheria's so big. And it's pretty. I guess that sounds stupid—that sounds stupid, doesn't it?—but when you only ever see the very bottom of the heap you don't have the full picture. The only parts I've ever seen of this world are the little tiny alleys in downtown Appalachia, and I never thought once about leaving, but..." Her voice trailed off. She continued to excitedly fidget, ignoring the stares she was receiving.

"At least she's excited," T muttered.

"Maybe it'll be a learning experience?" Ace suggested tentatively.

T glared at him and handed him a ticket. Lyra took her own, holding it so tight it crinkled and cracked slightly. A voice announced the presence of the 1830 Acidalian flight and she practically jumped.

They boarded slowly, cramming into the cheap seats while the foreign dignitaries in creamy off-while stepped delicately to the windowed deck. T already hated this. It smelled like spent fuel and stale sweat, and the outside seemed infinitely better. Mars, the little red dot in the distant sky, was very far away.

His meta vibrated in his pocket. Annoyed, he picked it up and glared at the little glowing name: Diana. His codename for Artemis. He scrambled to answer it, dropping his own visor on the way; two Suffragium giggled at him. Momentarily, he thought, If you knew who I was....

"Hello?" he asked, his voice breaking awkwardly.

"T?" she asked. “What’s up with Acidalia?”

He choked on his own saliva. "What?"

“She’s not picking up her meta.”

A chill ran down T’s spine. Acidalia always answered her metadit.

"I'm in the KC Interplanetary spaceport," he said. "That's close to the palace."

"Have you taken off yet?"

"I think we're about to. I'm getting off."

Ace and Lyra looked at each other, confused. "What?" Lyra asked. "Are you okay? Spacesick already? I mean, I heard that could happen-"

He shook his head. "Ace, get her off-planet. I have to go."

"What's she saying?" Ace asked. Now everyone in the section was staring at them—as if two soldiers and a Cantator weren't suspicious enough already.

"Not here," T muttered. "Talk to you later." He stood abruptly, putting his visor back on and pushing past the people in front of him. A Scientia glared at him for a second before he whipped out his stunner pistol and waved it in front of his face.

"TB sector soldier here. I'm on military business. Get out of the way."

She jumped aside, and suddenly the aisle was clear. The girls who had been laughing at him before looked at each other and shrunk back, smoothing their hair and settling down where he couldn't see them. He jumped over someone's turned-over backpack and raced past the upper decks.

"I know you!" said a girl in silver-white. She was young, maybe twelve or thirteen.

"Really?" he asked, not listening much. He scouted around a corner, drawing his gun. If someone caught on to where he was going—someone with the Nova—it would be less than ideal.

"I saw you at the coronation," she said, like it was obvious. "You were the one who talked with the Imperatrix." Then, in a deep whisper, she added, "do you like her? Aleskynn says you like her."

"Aleskynn doesn't know what she's on about," he replied. "That's not true." He pulled his mask down. One person had already recognized him; there were sure to be more.

"I think it would have been romantic," she sighed. "Forbidden love, and all..."

T cringed, wanting more than anything to mention their genetic relationship. "No thanks. Hey, kid, where's your mother?"

"Don't call me kid," she demanded, standing up to a height of a full 140 centimetrons. "I'm the daughter of a Negotia. You're just a standard soldier."

"You're going to get yourself killed," he snapped. "Get back up on deck and hide, you hear me? Now."

"What?" Her bright pink eyes turned a deep, dark purple. It was the latest trend—color-changing eyes. It looked just as fake and stupid on this girl as it did on Aleskynn when she went through her rebellious phase; TB-2115 had a picture of her with bright orange hair and sea-foam green eyes in his wallet.

"You heard me."

She backed away slightly before scampering up the pretty marble steps—so far apart from the standard gray steel the rest of the planet had to use—and glanced back at him.

"Go," he called. "Get out."

She vanished behind a featureless pillar of stone.

He darted around the corner, sticking close to the wall before bursting out of the ship's doors. Three Raedae in identical uniforms jumped backwards at the sight of him.

"Which one of you is in charge?" he demanded. Two of them glanced at their comrade nervously.

"Me," she said softly. "Hi."

"Hi," he replied, far louder. "Get this ship off the ground immediately. Don't ask questions, just go." He flashed his visor at her, identifying himself as a high-ranking soldier. The Raeda didn't respond, signaling something to her comrades. All together, their steps strangely in line with one another, they surrounded the ship and signaled it for takeoff. He knew better than to stick around.

At least Ace and the Cantator would be safe for now. They couldn't exactly track them down once they were thousands of miles away on Mars, could they? Well, they probably could—it just wouldn't be worth the effort.

T sprinted off the runway and out of the spaceport, to the astonished looks of everyone around him. People fell out of his path once they realized who he was. They'd surely be talking about it later, but that didn't matter now.

The planet outside was a glowing array of dazzling blue-on-black lights. It was a pretty urban area, covered in countless art projects he could all recognize by name; the capitol city of Eleutheria was all beautiful neoclassicism mixed with neon. It seemed like it would never work, but it was stunning—everything from the ultraviolet lights to the bioluminescent flowers. Acidalia's touch was everywhere.

Pictures of his sister ran through his mind at the speed of sound, tripping over one another so quickly they came in flashes and vanished into thin air again. Braiding her dark hair on her balcony at night when they weren't supposed to be there, gossiping about the upper-class idiots she paraded around with, telling extravagant and exaggerated stories of places neither of them had any business being.

What would they do to her?

#on the edge of eureka #eurekaproject #pov T #Ace (Character)#T #TB-2115 #Lyra #Artemis

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dictionarycorner · 6 years

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Ethan Woodall

The clocktower was a staple of Kettleburn. It was old, had rich history and the sort of architecture that looked like it could be either from the 1100s or from the 1950s. It was also a fine place for people to take a final leap onto the concrete below, which was why it now held Ethan Woodall, who was currently trying his best to convince himself that the rush of adrenaline from the fall would counteract when he reached the ground. He dug his fingers into the material of the ledge as he sat, and the roughness of the stone felt like the only real thing in the world. His legs swung below him as the lights switched on and the city lit up like a switchboard, he knew there was some kind of pattern to it, if only he looked a little bit further. The clocktower was tall, not very well known or well-kept, it tended to be empty and the ticking of the clock made you extremely aware of how much time you were taking to jump off the ledge, Ethan, just do it already, so it seemed to him as good a place as any. On his way here he’d experienced a cocktail mixture of euphoria and hysteria and had been basking in what he could only describe as the calm before the storm, but now the sense of urgency was creeping through, and he knew that soon his phone would start buzzing and his mum would be calling and he could avoid having to tell her where he was if he just decided to do it already. He had to wonder if this was some sort of self-sabotage, his brain’s final desperate attempt to stop him from being happy, from working things out- hell, from being close to okay for one goddamn second.

Two months ago, he’d taken the leap. Not exactly the one he was thinking of taking right now, one that was actually probably harder than this, in fact. He’s told his mum exactly how he’d felt for the past three years. He’d cried, they’d hugged, and then he went to the doctor all alone like a manly man and cried again in her office. He convinced them it wasn’t because of his grandpa dying 5 years ago, he’d been straightforward and open, succinct so as not to waste their time, and readily accepted whatever help they offered. He’d done everything right. And then they told him he’d have to wait, they didn’t give him a time, and had admitted that the mental health services in this country were poor at best, all of it underfunded and under-enthusiastic. He’d said that he didn’t want to be judged for being a teenager and depressed and they’d replied ‘No promises. This stuff just tends to happen. Not much we can do’. At the time he had, admittedly, just wanted to get out of that office and out from under the clinical stare of the doctor, who was so utterly professional it was hard not to believe that she was some sort of genetically engineered robot in a lab coat designed to diagnose and treat as many people as ‘efficiently and expertly as possible, human overlords’. He wondered for a moment if that was sexist, would he have thought of his doctor as a robot slave of the NHS if she was a man? Was it just because society viewed women as subservient? Is he overthinking this, or are these the questions that he should be asking, as a feminist, in order to better the future of mankind? Honestly it was kind of ironic for him to be thinking about the future of mankind when he’s sitting on the ledge of a tower, waiting for the right moment for him to tip himself over. He put his phone n silent for good measure, and looked over the lights of the city again, trying to remember the order they lit up in.

The younger generations are becoming more reliant on outside sources, he remembered. He’d read it somewhere earlier that week, it was an article that said teenagers and young adults had more of an external locus of control, they believed more in luck and that their actions were outside of their own control. The article said that this made them more reliant on other’s opinions and less likely to become leaders, and then continued on a diatribe Ethan couldn’t be bothered to remember that damned all millennials, even though the youngest millennials are like, 30 now. He wondered, idly, if that was why he hadn’t already thrown himself off the ledge yet, the cold was numbing his body now and he’d only gotten here because he’d said to himself that if the lights weren’t on at home by the time he got back he would come here, to the clocktower, and if nothing else he was a man of his word so when he finally got home and low and behold his mum wasn’t back yet he decided, well, fuck it then, he might as well since he’s got nothing else better to do. And he came, here, to the clocktower, where he’s been for an hour or so and maybe this is how he can break this whole not doing anything situation. Okay, so, if his mum doesn’t call in the next ten seconds, he’ll do it. So, he took his phone off silent and counted. One, two, three, four, okay but when after that will he actually jump, five, six, will it be straight after because he’s got to get up off the ledge, I mean he did say he’d jump, right, seven, and once he’s gotten off the ledge he’d have to put his phone back onto silent because the last thing he wants to hear as he’s falling is a missed call from his mum, eight, and then after that he’s got the decide where exactly is the best place to do it because he wants as few people as possible to end up seeing him fall, I mean he doesn’t want to scar anybody for life right, and maybe the clocktower isn’t the best place to do it because someone will end up finding his body and what if it’s a small child he doesn’t want to be the reason why this kid does badly in school and never gets any opportunities and then ends up in prison without any prospect and suddenly it isn’t Ethan on top of the tower it’s the kid who’ll find him and he can’t even count to ten without freaking out god he is such a failure what is wrong with him .

Over the years, the little voice inside Ethan’s head who told him he was wrong grew. It took on the voices of those around him who gave even the slightest indication of disliking something he did until he spent his days walking around having a constant argument with people he loved that ‘actually, mum, the fact that I looked away from Mrs Hunington after exactly 6 seconds of eye-contact doesn’t mean that she know thinks I’m rude and will fail me in my next test’. It wasn’t really until another voice, one slightly older and more jaded came that he realised just how annoyed he was at hearing his own voice having to constantly battle people. Maybe even just at hearing his won voice in general. So this new one was actually kind of a relief. Until he actually started listening to what it had to say. It would start of small, with little jokes and ideas that it would just say was ‘a back up plan, nothing concrete, nothing too serious’. Then, Ethan began to rely on it more, as a back-up plan, and then as something more. As an actual plan A. And soon those little ideas became what got Ethan through the day, what allowed him to relax a little and retain his composure because ‘you’ll be dead soon Ethan, and though no one speaks badly of the dead, you don’t want to leave a bad impression do you now’. It wasn’t really until Ethan found himself planning his last Christmas that he realised exactly how much he’d come to believe in this new voice, how it wasn’t him trying to find reasons to live anymore, fighting the little voice in his head that said the world would be better off without him, but that now it was him trying to find reasons to die, fighting that little voice in his head telling him his mother would miss him, that he’d only hurt others with this, that he should at least try then, not to be a burden to the world, but to make it better, he’ll die eventually why speed up the process. In the end though, the little voice had no reply to the fact that every thought Ethan had was still an argument, and every mental process was still a struggle. In truth Ethan was a smart person, and he was logical, but that only meant that he made better arguments to die than he did to live. Why give himself the chance to make things better or worse, he can live with no possibilities and therefore no probability or failure, nothing can go wrong for you when you’re dead and don’t believe in an afterlife. He won’t care that his mum hurts or that he might have led a kid to the same fate as him because he won’t care about anything at all. He knew it was selfish, but that was just another reason for him to do it, another failure that condemned him.

Can someone be their own bully? Not in the own humble sense of ‘I am my own worst critic’, but actually genuinely have such a hatred of themselves that it has the same damaging effects as it would coming from another, completely unpredictable human being. Is it the same thing if the words can be predicted, like playing a chess match against yourself, is it worse if it comes from someone who already knows your own weaknesses, or would it be worse if it came from someone who can notice problems you can’t? Can you emotionally abuse yourself? Are we all emotionally abusing ourselves in a desperate attempt to remain humble. Not that humility is bad, but like everything moderation is key and if we don’t learn how to moderate we create a habit of harming ourselves so irreparably that we can’t get help but part of the harm we’ve inflicted upon ourselves is that we’ve cultivated a society that deliberately makes it hard to get the help we need. We convince ourselves its because people take advantage of our kindness and so we need to find ways of keeping them out, or we try and believe its because we can’t spare the funds but in reality its because we would rather be dead than failures. And we have all listened to the tired old voice in our head enough that we equate failure with bad and weakness with failure. That bitter voice that arrives like anyone willing to hurt you, convincingly, and found that people are scared and fragile and convinced us that we need to hide this, and we’ve done it for so long that we don’t know how we don’t do this to ourselves anymore. We can’t trust our own minds, we have poisoned them and it hasn’t been some external force we can fight but ourselves all along and Ethan had had enough time on this ledge and enough time to figure all this out.

But we can’t trust our own minds, and so to Ethan, there was only one thing he could do. As he fell, he looked at the lights one last time, and finally saw the pattern.

#suicide tw #take care of yourself kids #it gets better you just have to wait for it #and when that doesn't work tell people when it gets bad #fiction

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oldguardaudio · 7 years

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Rush Limbaugh tells the Ladies “Take my advice and SUE GOOGLE

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The Ladies of Silicon Valley Take My Advice and Sue Google

Sep 15, 2017

RUSH: Back on August 7, remember when Google fired the guy because he wrote this manifesto saying that Google is discriminatory internally against conservatives. James Damore was his name, and he had said some things in there (I forget exactly what) but female Google employees ended up being involved in this. I suggested that whatever was said, rather than get mad — you know, don’t just go huffing and puffing and join some protest. I said, “Sue them! I mean, Google’s rolling in money. Hit it.”

This is what I said… Scroll down for the Google Manifesto.

RUSH ARCHIVE: Google is reeling right now. This is the kind of thing, this is the kind of charge that just sends leftists up the tree, that they’re unfair, that they’re discriminating on the basis of gender. Ladies, tell Google to prove it to you that the guy who wrote the memo is wrong. What you say to Google is, “Show me the money.” Go for the money. Tell ’em you want money. Tell ’em you want raises. Tell Google to prove it. Don’t join the protest march and start throwing underwear and bras. Just demand the money. They’re reeling right now. Hit ’em!

RUSH: This guy had made some charge against Google that it was predominantly male and that women employees were not on the same fast track advancement path and so forth. I knew what was gonna happen: The women of Google and everybody else would get mad and start joining the protest march and doing… I said, “No, no, no. Go for the money.” Well, guess what, folks! This morning on CBS This Morning, Gayle King spoke with Wired magazine editor-in-chief Nicholas Thompson about a class-action lawsuit against Google fired by three former employees alleging the company discriminated in pay and promotions.

THOMPSON: There are accusations of gender pay discrimination. There are accusations of sexual harassment. They’re general accusations that it is very hard to be a woman in Silicon Valley. So it’s a big, big step.

RUSH: Yes.

THOMPSON: This particular lawsuit itself is also a big deal. It covers all women who worked at Google over the last four years. So if Google loses, that’s a big payout. Even if they don’t lose and it settles, it’s gonna be a continuing public perception problem for Google and may make it harder for them to attract and retain qualified women who they certainly need.

RUSH: Am I gonna get any credit for inspiring this idea? Am I gonna get any credit for being on the side of the women who do this? Am I gonna get any credit for suggesting this course of action? No. That’s why I played the audio sound bite, so that you would know that I was at the forefront of this. Therefore — next time you hear that I’m anti-female, anti-woman or whatever — you remember this. ‘Cause you know it’s not true anyway, but, I mean, you remember this as evidence that you can pass on to others.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: Just to clarify James Damore, Google, what he was saying is the gender gap in tech industries is because women are treated differently because they’re not as technically inclined, and that’s what got him fired, and everybody at Google had a conniption fit over it.

Google Manifesto Rips Political Correctness

Aug 7, 2017

RUSH: Also big news over the weekend. I was kind of fascinated by this. Have you heard about the secret memo that went around Google? (interruption) You’re frowning. You hadn’t heard about this? (interruption) Some Google employee sent around an anonymous — posted an anonymous note — manifesto, on the inherent bigotry and political correctness at Google. It suggested that their pitch, their effort on diversity was misguided, that they need ideological diversity at Google, that all the conservative employees are scared to death to speak up and say anything. And then the guy — or girl. We don’t know who it is yet.

All we know is, it’s gonna get fired when they’re discovered. The guy said — and he was I think ripping off Larry Summers when he was the president of Harvard. He said (summarized), “Look, the reason why,” and this was on his diversity kick. “The reason why there aren’t more women in tech positions is they’re not good at it. They’re not as interested in it as men are. So this effort to be diverse and have equal number of men and women in the tech workforce is silly ’cause it’s never gonna happen. Women are just not that inclined.”

Larry Summers said the same thing at Harvard. The reason why there aren’t more female math teachers is women don’t do as well in it, and they ran him out of the place. So this guy’s gonna get fired as soon as they find out who he is. But this story has captivated countless people over the weekend, and it is not over yet, and there’s much more straight ahead.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: You lady engineers at Google? I want to say something to you. Google is playing defense right now on the issue of diversity. This memo by a Google employee… I mean, this guy has just thrown a political correctness bomb right into the executive suite, ’cause this memo asserts that Google… When you strip it all away, the memo is an allegation that Google has fewer female engineers because men are better suited for the job, that essentially natural selection has taken over, and men are just more oriented toward math and science and engineering in those fields.

Now, what generally happens in a situation like this is that the feminists and leaders women’s groups that get all hot and bothered and run around start making noise about discrimination and unfairness. Ladies, forget that. There’s a much better path that you should take here. Don’t get lost in the diversity argument. Don’t get caught up in it. That’s what Google expects you to do. Don’t go acting offended, and don’t get on some soapbox claiming that whoever wrote that is a bigot.

Google is reeling right now. This is the kind of thing, this is the kind of charge that just sends leftists up the tree, that they’re unfair, that they’re discriminating on the basis of gender. Ladies, tell Google to prove it to you that the guy who wrote the memo is wrong. What you say to Google is, “Show me the money.” Go to the money. Tell ’em you want money. Tell ’em you want raises. Tell Google to prove it. Don’t join the protest march and start throwing underwear and bras. Just demand the money. They’re reeling right now. Hit ’em!

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

Bill in Ridgefield, Connecticut. I’m glad you called, sir. You’re up first. How are you?

CALLER: Hi, Rush. I was just talking to Snerdley. Let me get to the point. I’m rich. I’m a big chess player and a damn good one. In fact, the New York AC I was the (call drops out) of the chess club. But backing up a second, of the top —

RUSH: Wait. Wait a minute. Your call — hey, hang on, hang on. Your call is bucking up. Did you say the New York Athletic Club? Is that what you said?

CALLER: Yes.

RUSH: New York AC. Okay. And you said you’re a rich guy in New York.

CALLER: That’s right.

RUSH: The New York Athletic Club would say that. So you’re a great chess player. Okay. Got that. Go.

CALLER: Okay. Of the top hundred chess players in the world —

RUSH: Yeah.

CALLER: — you know how many are women? Zero.

RUSH: What does that mean?

CALLER: I think they gravitate. I’m not saying women aren’t smarter. I have a daughter that went to Smith. I have a daughter that’s a doctor. I’m not saying women aren’t smarter. But they gravitate to the nurturing areas of society, as maybe they should. But they are not competitive with the mechanical and sciences. There may be a great scientist, but that would be an anomaly. But women, that can’t God for them, do a great job raising kids, God forbid, the feminazis, you know, one daughter that went to Smith, loaded with feminazis, she has our values. You know, common sense, down to earth, she got four kids, whatever.

RUSH: Let me get back to your chess question.

CALLER: Yeah.

RUSH: ‘Cause you’re probably right. You’re not saying women aren’t capable of learning it and excelling at it, you’re just saying they’re not interested in it, right?

CALLER: For the most part. But there are grandmaster female players. They’re just not in that top tier. The Polgar sisters, they’re from I believe Poland. Both of them are grandmasters.

RUSH: Well, how much of it is that they don’t want to do what it takes to get there because they have other —

CALLER: That’s right. You know, you take, you know, whether it was Bobby Fischer, God rest his soul. You take Kasparov who is going back, apparently, into the competition area. I read it in I think yesterday’s Journal —

RUSH: He wants to beat the computers, yeah.

CALLER: Well, the computer is a different ball game.

RUSH: I don’t know. Elon Musk says they’re gonna take us over and Bill Gates and Hawking say if we don’t get to Mars, the machines are gonna eat us. What do we do?

Rush Limbaugh tells the Ladies “Take my advice and SUE GOOGLE Rush Limbaugh tells the Ladies "Take my advice and SUE GOOGLE The Ladies of Silicon Valley Take My Advice and Sue Google…

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hopefulphantomwonderland-blog · 8 years

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New Post has been published on Pagedesignweb

New Post has been published on http://pagedesignweb.com/computing-crunch-power-and-the-simulation-hypothesis/

Computing Crunch Power And The Simulation Hypothesis

It has been postulated that our reality might in fact be a virtual reality. That is, some unknown agency, “The Others”, have created a computer simulation and we ‘exist’ as part of that overall simulation. One objection to that scenario is that in order to exactly simulate our Cosmos (including ourselves) we would require a computer the size of our Cosmos with the sort of crunch power that could duplicate our Cosmos on a one-to-one basis, which is absurd. The flaw is that realistic simulations can be made without resorting to a one-on-one correlation.

Here’s another thought on the Simulation Hypothesis which postulates that we ‘exist’ as a configuration of bits and bytes, not as quarks and electrons. We are virtual reality – simulated beings. Here is the “why” of things.

Really real worlds (which we presume ours to be) are simulating virtual reality worlds – lots and lots and lots of them – so the ratio of virtual reality worlds to really real worlds is lots, and lots and lots to one. That’s the main reason why we shouldn’t presume that ours is a really real world! If one postulates “The Other”, where “The Other” might be technologically advanced extraterrestrials creating their version of video games, or even the human species, the real human species from what we’d call the far future doing ancestor simulations, the odds are our really real world is actually a really real virtual reality world inhabited by simulated earthlings (like us).

Now an interesting aside is that we tend to assume that “The Other” are biological entities (human or extraterrestrial) who like to play “what if” games using computer hardware and software. Of course “The Other” could actually be highly advanced A.I. (artificial intelligence) with consciousness playing “what if” scenarios.

Anyway, each individual simulated world requires just so many units of crunch power. We humans have thousands of video games each ONE requiring a certain amount of computing crunch power. There may be in total is an awful lot of computing crunch power going on when it comes to these video games collectively, but what counts is the number of video games divided by the number of computers playing them. Not all video games are being played on just one computer at the same time. If you have a ten-fold increase in video games, and a ten-fold increase in the number of computers they are played on, there’s no need for ever increasing crunch power unless the nature of the game itself demands it. Video games today probably demand more crunch power than video games from twenty years ago, but we’ve to date met that requirement.

Now if a really real world created thousands of video games, and the characters in each and every one of those video games created thousands of video games and the characters in those video games created thousands of their video games, okay, then ever increasing crunch power within that original really real world is in demand. That’s not to say that that ever increasing need for crunch can’t be met however. But that’s NOT the general scenario that’s being advocated. For the immediate here and now, let’s just stick with one really real world creating thousands of uniquely individual simulated virtual reality worlds (i.e. – video games). Ockham’s Razor suggests that one not overly complicate things unnecessarily.

That said, a variation on Murphy’s Law might be: The ways and means to use computing crunch power expands to meet the crunch power available and is readily on tap.

Sceptics seem to be assuming here that if you can simulate something, then ultimately you will pour more and more and more and more crunch power (as it becomes available) into that which you are simulating. I fail to see how that follows of necessity. If you want to create and sell a video game, if you put X crunch power into it you will get Y returns in sales, etc. If you put 10X crunch power into it, you might only get 2Y returns in sales. There is a counterbalance – the law of diminishing returns.

Video gamers may always want more, but when the crunch power of the computer and the software it can carry and process exceeds the crunch power of the human gamer (chess programs / software anyone), then there’s no point in wanting even more. A human gamer might be able to photon-torpedo a Klingon Battlecruiser going at One-Quarter Impulse Power, but a massive fleet of them at Warp Ten might be a different starship scenario entirely. Gamers play to win, not to be universally frustrated and always out performed by their game.

It makes no economic sense at all to buy and get a monthly bill for 1000 computer crunch units and only need and use 10.

But the bottom line is that computer crunch power is available for simulation exercises as we have done. Anything else is just a matter of degree. If us; them; them of course being “The Other” or The Simulators.

Are there limits to crunch power? Well before I get to agreeing to that, which I ultimately do, are opponents assuming that crunch power won’t take quantum leaps, perhaps even undreamed of quantum leaps in the generations to come? I assume for starters that we in the early 21st Century don’t have enough computing power to simulate the Cosmos at a one-to-one scale. Would quantum computers alter this analysis? I’m no expert in quantum computers – I’ve just heard the hype. Still, are available crunch power sceptics’ game to predict what might or might not be possible in a 100 years; in a 1000 years? Still, the ability to increase computing crunch power could go on for a while yet. Isn’t the next innovation going from a 2-D chip to a 3-D chip?

Still, Moore’s Law (computing crunch power doubles every 18 to 24 months) can’t go on indefinitely and I wasn’t aware that I.T. people have postulated that Moore’s Law could go on “forever”. That’s a bit of a stretch.

Okay, even if we accept that fact that we’re all greedy and want more, more, more and even more crunch power – and ditto by implication our simulators – then there will ultimately be limits. There might be engineering limits like dealing with heat production. There may be resolution limits. There may be technological limits as in maybe quantum computing isn’t really feasible or even possible. There will be economic limits as in you may want to upgrade your PC but your budget doesn’t allow for it; you ask for a new research grant to buy a new supercomputer and get turned down, and so on.

Perhaps our highly advanced simulators have hit the ultimate computer crunch power wall and that’s all she wrote; she could write no more. There’s probably a ‘speed of light’ barrier equivalent limiting computer crunch power. Then too, our simulators have competing priorities and have to divide the economic / research pie.

I’ve never read or heard about any argument that the Simulation Hypothesis assumes ever and ever and ever increasing crunch power. It assumes that the computer / software programmer has sufficient crunch power to achieve their objective, no more, no less.

In other words, the computer / software simulator is going to be as economical with the bits and bytes as is as possible to achieve that’s still compatible with the degree of realism desired. That makes sense.

The bottom line is that our simulated reality just has to be good enough to fool us. In fact, if we ‘exist’ as a simulation, then from the get-go you have experienced nothing but a simulated ‘reality’ and thus you wouldn’t be able to recognize really real reality even if it clobbered you over the head!

There’s one obvious objection to those who propose that there’s not enough computer power to create 100% realistic simulations. Here realistic means a one-to-one relationship. But such a degree of realism isn’t necessary and we might not even not even be able to conceive of our simulator’s really real reality since we’ve known no other reality other than the one we exist in right now. We have no other reality to compare ours to other than other realities (i.e. – simulations of our reality) that we create, which of course includes our dreams and say films.

The degree of realism now possible with CGI is in fact equal to the actual degree of realism we experience in our everyday world; with everyday experiences. I’m sure you must have seen over the last five years movies that had loads of CGI embedded in them, and even while knowing that what you were seeing was CGI, you couldn’t actually detect apart the simulation (say the dinosaurs in “Jurassic World”) from what was actually real (like the actors). Still, you have little trouble telling the difference between film action, even 3-D film action, and live action.

Maybe in this reality you can tell the difference between a film and live action, but what if that live action was as simulated as the film? If you have spent your entire existence as live action virtual reality (without knowing it of course) and now and again watching virtual reality film which you can distinguish from your live action virtual reality, then you can have absolutely no idea of the nature of the really real reality where our simulators reside and of the simulators themselves (although it might be a best guess to speculate that there will be a lot of similarities) and how much crunch power they have devoted to their hobby / gaming / research (we could be a grand “what if” sociological experiment). Maybe their Moore’s Law gives them in theory 1000 units of crunch power, but they only need or can afford 100 units. Just because you might be able to afford a fleet of sports cars, several yachts, a 28 bedroom mansion, a half-dozen holiday homes and a half-yearly round-the-world holiday and can buy all of the women you might want doesn’t of necessity mean you will spend that money.

Anyway, my objection to the one-on-one objection is that in a simulation, not everything has to be simulated to an exacting standard. The computing power required to make our immediate environment seem really real is vastly different than what is required to make the Universe outside of our immediate environment seem really real. I mean a planetarium does a great job of simulating all the sorts of things a planetarium simulates, but you wouldn’t claim that a planetarium requires the same amount of bits and bytes to simulate that which are required for the really real object it is simulating. Two really real galaxies in collision would be composed of way more bits and bytes than required by astronomers simulating two galaxies in collision on their PC. The astronomers don’t need that extra crunch power. So, perhaps 90% of our simulator’s computer power is devoted to making our immediate neighbourhood (i.e. – the solar system) seem really realistic, and the other 10% simulates everything external to our immediate neighbourhood. Further, even within our solar system you don’t have to simulate each and every particle, atom and molecule that would – in a really real solar system – reside inside say the Sun or Jupiter or even the Earth. Things that you may think need to be computed may in fact not need to be computed in order to achieve the goal of making things seem really real to us.

In our ‘reality’, when any scientist postulates some theory or hypothesis or other, they ignore many possible variables. A biologist doing “what if” evolution scenarios probably doesn’t concern himself with each and every possible astronomical scenario that may impact on evolution at each and every possible moment. You gotta draw the line somewhere.

The only one-on-one simulation I can think of that we do would be in the realm of particle and quantum physics. Simulating two protons smashing together is about as one-on-one as you can get.

To date, when talking about our virtual reality, the Simulation Hypothesis, I’ve pretty much had in mind the idea that our programmers, The Others otherwise known as The Simulators, were monitoring us pretty much like we monitor our simulations – from a distance on a monitor. But what if The Simulators actually walk among us? That is, their simulation is more akin to a Star Trek holodeck than a standard video game.

We have always tended to immerse ourselves in virtual reality, sometimes involuntarily as in our dreams and dream-worlds, but more often as not voluntarily, from telling ghost stories around the camp-fire; to reading novels; to watching soap, horse or space operas; even just by daydreaming. In more recent times that immersion has extended to video and computer games, but usually from the outside looking in at a monitor while fiddling with a mouse or a joystick or other controls. You sometimes quasi-immerse yourself inside virtual reality as in creating an avatar hence creating a virtual copy of yourself (or make-believe copy of yourself) and interacting with other virtual people via their avatars on-line, as in “Second Life”. But what we really desire, truth be known, is to actually immerse our real selves into virtual reality scenarios.

A training simulation needs to be only as realistic as is required to train the trainee into perfecting whatever skills are required. Take a driver training simulation package. Apart from the fact that the simulation can be almost of average animation standard, the images constantly shift – the turnpike software retreats into the background as one turns off onto a country road and new software is now to the fore. The image constantly changes and so does the software required for that image. The computer only has to crunch a fraction of the overall software at any one time.

Taking Planet Earth, the number of particles, atoms, molecules, etc. requiring simulation hasn’t changed very much over geological time. For example, there’s no need any more to simulate dinosaurs or trilobites so those bits and bytes are now freed up for other and newer species. If you have simulated Planet Earth, you haven’t needed to pour more and more and more crunch power resources into the simulation since you’re dealing with a finite object that is ever recycling those particles, atoms and molecules.

The simulators do not have to simulate each and every elementary particle in their simulation just in case one day their virtual beings (that’s us) decide to interact with elementary particles that should be there but aren’t. Their simulation software could be tweaked / upgraded as necessary as their simulation virtual reality scenario unfolds. Take Mars. Our simulators could for the longest time just use software that simulated a moving reddish dot in the sky that made strange retrograde motions (loop-the-loops) from time to time. Then the telescope scenario came to pass and the software was upgraded to show features – polar caps, areas of apparent ‘vegetation’, two moons, dust storms and of course ‘canals’. Then came Mariner 4, 6 & 7 and 9 and the simulator’s software had to be upgraded again to show close-up features from those fly-by Mariners and Mariner 9 that went into orbit. Then of course came the landers like Viking, and kin and another tweak was required. It’s all too easy.

Software past its use-by date can just be deleted – no memory required. If it is ever needed again, well that’s just another tweak or upgrade. Your memory has deleted lots of events in your life, but coming across an old letter, photograph, diary, etc. can restore what your brain didn’t feel it needed to store any more.

If I put a character, let’s call him Rob, into a video game and Rob gets zapped, no guts will appear because I didn’t program them in. If we are on the other hand the simulation; characters in the video game not of our making, our guts are there but will appear if and only if the unfolding scenario requires it. The bottom line remains that not all software is front-and-centre at the same time. Further, software can be tweaked as the simulation scenario unfolds, just like we get upgrades to our software on our PC’s.

As for having to simulate each and every thing that is required, like Rob’s heart, lungs, liver, etc., in any simulation only a part of the whole is active and ‘in your face’ at any one time. When the scenario demands that something else now has to be ‘in your face’ instead, well that software is available, but other software now retires to the background until and if it is needed again. In other words, not 100% of the software that comprises the entire simulation is actually front-and-centre at any one time so the computer’s ability to cope isn’t taxed beyond its means.

I’ve said above that you do NOT have to do a one-on-one correlation between what is being simulated and the simulation. If I simulate Rob as a character in a video game I don’t have to also simulate his heart, lungs, liver, and all of his other internals. That’s a big savings in bits and bytes. So the simulated Rob is indeed simpler than any really real Rob, but the simulated Rob does the job as far as video gamers are concerned.

It’s been oft noted that if one is going to simulate one’s entire Cosmos in exacting one-on-one detail, then one would need a computer that’s as large as the Cosmos that one is trying to simulate in the first place, which is ridiculous. The fallacy lies in the phrase “in exactly one-on-one detail”. A simulation doesn’t require that amount of exacting detail in order to be realistic. There’s many a slight-of-hand short-cut that can be entered into when simulating an entire Cosmos, as in a planetarium for instance. No matter how you slice and dice things, planetariums do an excellent job of simulating the Cosmos.

Still, a Doubting Thomas keeps assuming that to simulate the Cosmos you need a one-to-one correlation, that each and every last fundamental particle in the Cosmos has to be accounted for and simulated in order to have a simulation of the Cosmos. That’s not the purpose of simulations. When cosmologists simulate the Cosmos, they are interested in the broad-brush picture. They don’t need to know about each and every fundamental particle within the Cosmos in order to understand the broad-brush picture. A simulation is NOT trying to recreate 100% of reality but only those bits and pieces that are of interest. Thus, the bits and bytes required to simulate the Cosmos as required by cosmologists need only be a tiny, tiny fraction of the bits and bytes needed to simulate 100% of the entirety of the Cosmos.

Despite any sceptical position to the contrary, our cosmologists have done simulations of our Cosmos without having to resort to simulating the Cosmos down to dotting the very last ‘I’ and crossing the very last ‘T’.

If scientists want to simulate two galaxies colliding but their research grant doesn’t give them unlimited funds for crunch power, then they make do with what their budget allows. In the case of our simulators, maybe they have maxed out their bits and bytes; maybe their expenditure has been minimal – on a shoestring budget. We don’t know. We can’t know.

I would argue that astronomers / cosmologists have not only simulated possible planetary worlds and whole virtual solar systems but the entire Universe from the Big Bang event on up the line. Of course those simulations are vastly simpler than what they are simulating but they do the job that requires doing.

Extrapolating one level up, if some agency is simulating our Cosmos, or what we perceive as our Cosmos, then that simulation is NOT meant to be a one-on-one replica of their Cosmos. To those entities, that agency, what they have simulated (our Cosmos) is easily achievable because it is NOT a one-to-one representation of their Cosmos, any more than our cosmologists try to simulate one-on-one what they believe is our Cosmos. We think our virtual reality Cosmos is the be-all-and-end-all of all there is when it’s just a tiny fraction of really real reality – our simulator’s Cosmos.

Of course in one sense we, even as simulations, are a part of The Simulators Cosmos in the same way as our simulations, our virtual realities are part of our Cosmos. We might be the same ‘stuff’ as in we are a part of The Simulators Cosmos too, which let us say is the Full Monty of all things A to Z. But when The Simulators simulated or built or crafted us (yes, you too), they simplified things and say left out all of the vowels. So yes, we ‘exist’ in their Cosmos, but in a simplified virtual reality simulation of their Cosmos. In other words, there’s no one-on-one correlation.

Now to my mind the only valid objection against the Simulation Hypothesis is that one has absolute free will. That argument absolutely undermines the Simulation Hypothesis. The fly in the ointment is that all anyone need to do is prove to the satisfaction of the rest of the world that they actually have free will, and therefore by extension all humans have free will. Then various web sites and publishing houses can delete free will from their inventory and thus free up a massive amount of data storage space for other topics. Meantime, I can put my time, efforts and energy to better use that pondering over our possible virtual reality.

In conclusion, once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away, well let’s just say there existed this technologically advanced civilization who I shall call The Simulators! Let’s also say that for The Simulators to simulate one-on-one their own Big Cosmos would require 100,000 units of computing crunch power. Alas, The Simulators only have 100 units of computing crunch power on tap, so obviously they don’t try to simulate their own Big Cosmos on a one-to-one basis – in its entirety. However, they do simulate a 100 unit computing crunch power mini-Cosmos. That’s us, that’s our mini-Cosmos by the way. So we ‘exist’ in a simulated 100 units of computer crunch power mini-Cosmos. We can in turn maybe manage 1 (one) unit of simulation (within the simulation that we already ‘exist’ in) computing crunch power. We can no more simulate our simulated mini-Cosmos one-on-one than The Simulators can simulate their Big Cosmos one-on-one. And that’s where it all ends, at least for now. Our mini-Cosmos is a simulated mini-Cosmos, simulated by The Simulators in their Big Cosmos. There’s no one-on-one identity correlation anywhere to be had, in any Cosmos. Is everything crystal clear now?

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