#thats amy but idk if i should tag her :

[eggskie]

[Image ID in alt text]

shoes

[palukoo]

hey ur tags on that west wing meme,,,, please talk,,,,, talk abt trans josh

also 🌹!

ahh thank you and sorry for the delay i have tried to answer this like 3 times and then been doing something else and had to start over! i’m gonna answer this out of order bc trans josh is gonna be a little long i thing, so! line!

She thinks, though, that Josh doesn’t really deserve to beat himself up over this even more, and she’s not going to use him as a punching bag even if a part of each of them wants that.

anyways thats a line i really like bc i think its pretty momentous, amy choosing not to fight with josh

so trans josh! under the cut! thank you for enabling me!

so these are all gonna be about trans man josh but i love any trans josh hc and honestly some thoughts about amab enby josh too... but like. one thing at a time,,, this is gonna be so incoherent as a warning

remember that time josh said that when he was a kid he wanted to be a ballerina? go off and break gender barriers king but TECHNICALLY ballerina is the gendered term. so. do with that what you will

oh also the way he says in uhh 6.05 i think “plus i’ve got that...... yknow. boyish. thing.” and yeah. yeah. 

so josh is like mid gender crisis in college/law school/when he meets amy (i think the show is a little inconsistent in which one it is)

she still dates his roommate, but josh doesn’t really have the gender figured out yet, so chris is a woman

amy doesn’t know his name, and he labels stuff “j lyman” and she asks about it, or his name or something, she’s like “j?” and he thinks that’s better, and tells her to just call him j, and it sticks

(i have literally no interest in defining a deadname for him thanks)

((also he eventually does come out to her and she’s like “okay, so... j?” and he says something like “i’m thinking about josh.” and she’s like “okay cool. it suits you” and he says she can still call him j, cause he kinda likes that too.))

so here’s where i get a little unclear bc i don’t really know how HRT etc worked in the late 80s/early 90s and if anyone has sources on this i would really love to see them!!

anyway i also see him as being like. obsessed with passing as a cis man (esp bc yknow. political job in the 90s-2000s would be a lot more complicated and less likely as a trans man) and he sorta intentionally loses touch with people who knew him before he came out and/or before he transitioned (except leo) 

he kind of hates that amy knows this thing about him and it complicates their relationship a lot bc she doesn’t really get that that’s why he sort of resents her

i also feel like it makes josh’s sorta misogyny more... interesting? that’s not exactly the right word or phrasing or anything but like. idk. josh being flippant about women’s issues takes on a different context if he’s a trans man rather than a cis man

i also think he doesn’t really want the whole team to know either not bc he doesn’t trust them, just because it’s this thing he’d rather ignore/not talk about

but since leo was a family friend, he’d probably know, and i insist that he’s literally 100% cool with it (even if it maybe takes a second to adjust) and they still have the whole father son thing going on obviously

idk. idk i kinda like the idea of him telling cj before any/most of the rest of them bc i love their friendship and him talking to her about his sister plus like. maybe cj can have a little gender crisis of her own. as a treat

she/they cj

i also think that like. he and donna have a cute heart to heart at some point and he’s like terrified of it changing people’s perception of him and she’s just super chill about it and it’s sweet.

anyways. i really don’t have much it’s just a vibe and something i think about and something that if people wanna talk about they should hmu!!

[kinnsporsche]

lucres, isabellaofparma, vinnypanesars, callumitchells, callumhighways, halfsway. Sent you a few to keep you busy

@lucres

Do they follow me: Yes | No

Do I follow them: Yes | No | Now

What I think about their blog: listen luisa’s ballum gifset with the ‘if he asked i’d be his’ lyrics from les mis was the first gifset that sent me absolutely fucking FERAL in this fandom like i think i blacked out for a solid 30 seconds when i first saw. all the content they make is stunning and doesn’t get appreciated enough!!! we haven’t talked properly before but we should because they seem super cool!!!!!

@isabellaofparma​

Do they follow me: Yes | No

Do I follow them: Yes | No | Now

What I think about their blog: there are not enough words in the world to describe the love i have for ivett!!! she really out here providing us with a constant stream of stunning content that we do not deserve honestly. ivett is one of the best people in the ee fandom and it definitely wouldn’t be the same place without her miss ma’am ilysm

@vinnypanesars​ 

Do they follow me: Yes | No

Do I follow them: Yes | No | Now

What I think about their blog: amy!!!! a fellow ben mitchell apologist!!! if you’re not following amy tbh idk what you’re doing because the tags she leaves on reblogs are everything even if she thinks callum doesn’t have many braincells but lots of heartcells she’s still very valid and i love her a lot

@callumitchells​ 

Do they follow me: Yes | No

Do I follow them: Yes | No | Now

What I think about their blog: eloise!!! i love all the ben content on your blog its what he deserves and i see all those nice tags you leave on content you reblog and its the best!!! honestly comments like those are the reasons creators keep making gifs we owe u our hearts!!!

@cqllumhighway​ (i couldn’t find anybody with the url callumhighways i got redirected to what i assume is a url hoarder, cait is the only person i could think of that u maybe meant??)

Do they follow me: Yes | No

Do I follow them: Yes | No | Now

What I think about their blog: cait!!!! i love talking to u and throwing around theories that we were confident would happen but never actually ended up happening so we just straight up clowned ourselves, honestly cait is one of the sweetest people in the fandom and all the content on her blog is a++

@halfsway 

Do they follow me: Yes | No

Do I follow them: Yes | No | Now

What I think about their blog: sorry did u mean the mother of my child the woman whos strap i beg for constantly i would do literally anything for katie u dont even know it like we’ve literally been talking a month or so but its funny how my heart beats only for her!!! and anybody who’s ever mean to her or upsets her is going to catch my blade thats my wife my life im ride or die baby!!!! all her gifsets are so stunning and every time i see a new one im in AWE because of her talent. i could wax poetic about her and her foot fetish all day like spare hand in marriage ma’am?????? ilysm

Send me a URL anonymously and I’ll tell you

[bijannich]

tagged by @thebrightestsword!

Nickname: Pepto, Ami.

Zodiac: Virgo

Height: 5′8″

Time: 9ish

Favourite band/artist: I’m super into Florence + The Machine right now, and always love Krewella.

Song stuck in your head: Say My Name but KNGDAVID

Last movie I saw: Storks. It was really cute and charming guys trust me. if you like babies or looking at babies it was cute af.

Last thing I googled: Pearly king. I heard it on a kid show and wanted to know wtf it was. 

Do I get asks: I get a few when I post those meme things, but not usually unless I pissed someone off.

Other blogs: So many. NSFW blog I don’t touch, aesthetic blog I don’t touch, a private writing blog where I store references and information. Few more. 

Why did I choose this username: Because it’s my main squeeze WoW OC and I love her to bits. My stabby waif daughter

Number of blogs I’m following: gh. 120something? Not a lot, but I should cultivate it better.

Average amount of sleep: 3 to 6 hours a day, I sleep like shiiiiiiit

Lucky number: don’t really have one. 

What am I wearing: Big Overwatch shirt and some shorts that are barely shorts but are super comfy.

Dream job: Published author, but also like. I have fanciful dreams of starting some kind of entertainment company. 

Dream trip: Hopping across Europe to research my family history, or just somewhere beautiful and sunny with beaches. But mostly anywhere thats got really really really old stuff.

Favourite food: Potatoes. Just. Potatoes.

Play any instruments: Nah

Eye colour: Greyyy? Blue? It’s not a vivid blue thats for sure.

Hair colour: Brown.

Describe yourself as aesthetic things: uh. cow skulls and etsy pagan jewelry. Country gothic photography and close-ups of boots.

Languages you speak: English.

Iconic song: Uh man.... like, for me? I’m forever in love with Demon Kitty Rag by Katzenjammer

Random fact: Every time I’ve almost died I was in or on the water and I cannot cannot be in water I can’t see the bottom of anymore, unless I’m being carried.

uh. um. idk who to tag. 

@readasaur @peeka-byakugan and @coconutthegreater idk if ANY of you do these things but 

also anyone who wants to. at everyone. free for all.

also @jaegertango because you’re my bff and its my job to harass you at all times

[aitian]

Sun 2/28 3:06am

watched a lot of crime shows lately. good girls, ginny & georgia, those kinds of crimes that happen in nice places, done by nice ppl. or like, suburban dystopia & rats on the countertops. 

up late last night watching tv- been really good & sleeping early for the last two weeks, waking up early too. but i woke up around 1pm today with plans to go do something, anything, with mom, hang out somewhere or smth. last weekend we went to altoona with dad too, & walked around the mall & ate kfc in the car before driving back. mom got a call from alice & sat on my bed with me, & we talked abt her residency match stuff & whatever. idk i think i was saying smth silly, maybe abt altoona last week, & felt like we were abt to end the call, & mom said she needed to tell us smth important. & she told us that grandma passed away last week, on wednesday. she died in the morning, & it snowed for the first time in a while that day in luoyang. its a good sign, peaceful passing. i started crying, & i heard moms voice start to break, & on the phone alice’s face begin to turn red. just like tears leaking out of my eyes, i didnt even feel the squeezing or any of the feelings in my head before i began crying. i guess its just one of those things that happens on its own. in my head i was thinking abt how i didnt think i would cry at this news, or actually thats wrong, of course i would. maybe it was just unexpected how easy & tender my body was to those words, & smth slow moving so far away, its aftermath, & the quietness of the ceremony i have never been a part of & always been a part of. i didnt know grandma well. i have a vague memory of being kind of mean and childish during the longest time we were together, around 2007 or 2008. and again, feeling so lost in 2018 seeing her and grandpa so old, feeling their days go by with difficulty. it always felt like the numbness of separation would shield me from tears like these. sociopath immigrant kids with no past, no access or interest in those things that hold us down. relieved thats not me. im not stupid enough to think that theres some sort of genealogical magic or fetish teaching that will set me free. its all here though, with nuance, in the moments that im living. that feels big, & free, & scary too. im thinking abt the clouds moving through the sky today. rly existential sometimes these days, sudden panic & the like, mostly thinking abt mom not being here someday. that hurts so bad. 

after the call we hugged, & i cried more, & mom talked about how those great people, the greats, wei da de ren, were by her side. & things about how those days when it was the six of them, mom, two uncles, grandma, grandpa, & great grandma, all living in one house, she always felt, even at the time, that those were the happiest days of her life. it means a lot for a small family to be under one roof. (& earlier on the call, it means a lot for a person to take care of themself. i felt sad, or almost a bit irritated when mom said that on the call, that its a lesson we should learn from grandma that its important to take care of ourselves, as if there is a moral to smth like this, or smth so simple to gain, & i know its bc she wanted to be someone who could say that to her kids in a moment like this, & she feels the same way as i do, & even more, abt the vastness of this moment.) when mom told dad on thursday he cried, & then said some stupid shit abt how they shouldnt have stayed. she didnt tell alice on the phone but she told me. when would dad ever offer a comforting word? he has been so shitty & annoying these past few days, bickering & teasing & doing things to make mom angry like any other time. we also talked abt some stupid stuff like how xiao yu ah yi made yuan xiao in jiu niang, some meat & some black sesame all together, with diced carrot & corn in the soup that mom & dad tried to eat for breakfast. we ended up leaving the house around 3 after eating some breakfast. 

mom drove to the golf course by waffle shop, & we got out of the car on that path that leads to the IST bridge. talked abt how golf is so dumb & we just wanted to walk on their field. went a little down the path until it met the road, & walked down the road for a bit. mom said she didnt want to retrace our steps so i said we could just take a circle and walk on the grass. there was still a lot of snow, around 4 inches where it was deep but the tops of the hills were bare. took some photos. mom smiled really natural & pretty, like i dont see her doing well when posing, & she thought so too. we ran a little bit, & stopped after we got to the top of a hill. i was looking at the sky, really blue & sunny & mostly filled with white clouds, blowing by. they were moving fast & steady, like that memory i have of feeling them go by. so wonderful. i felt the ground beneath my feet in that moment, like an animal standing on a hill, born from thos big breathing thing, moving as a small & big part of it, it moving as a vast part of me, above & below me. it means so much that these moments we spend together .  just that. we made our way back to the car & decided to go to home goods. we poked around & looked at stuff, & by the time we got to the furniture half of the store i felt kinda tired so we found an ottoman to sit on. & we were talking abt the texture of the fabrics on the chairs & stuff, & decided to just go to loves (where wolfs furniture went out of business, advertising a total liquidation sale recently) & look at sofas. im laying on it right now. we sat on everything downstairs, then sat on stuff upstairs. & we sat on the one before this & mom was like, this could be the one, & i said we shoould keep looking, & mom sat on this one, & mom said this is the one. & she called a sales associate over & he asked what her question was, & she said she didnt really have one. she wanted to buy this sofa. also, whats the final price? the tag said smth like 2000 as the discounted price, & the guy said 1400. & mom said we/ll take it, & we did. mom got shoe covers from amys mom for when the movers came, & we moved the old sofa out of the way into the guest room (dad took the door off & we tilted in every direction). then i played some genshin co-op with sherry in my room & we called & chatted abt stuff while the moving happened. it got quiet after moving & my phone ran out of battery & i went downstairs & we ate hot pot. new couch. life. i think im going to sleep here tonight. it smells like new couch, & i think i liked this smell on our old couch but it just smells kinda smelly to me now. feels like when we travel, or moved houses, or something like that. the feeling that life is changing a lot, or we are making changes, moving about, being changed, becoming changed.