#thats not entirely you at fault. in my humble opinion.

[miloutic]

most embarrassed this morning. no talk me

[333angels]

hm

[mudpuddless]

"the bite in the night and the secret teeth society"

or: what happens when you put Bond in charge of coming up with names

wc: 1.504, vampire/werewolf/fae AU

Mallory was M. He had worked towards this for last twenty threee years, and now he was M and M was dead. the other M, the one that had been the face and soul of the title for so long now.

Mallory was late for his first official meeting. to be completely fair he had only just learned there was a meeting and it wasnt like he could make the elevator move any faster anyhow, so at least it wasn’t entirely his fault. miss moneypenny, his new secretary had just sent him a notification, even though he could have sworn there would be no meetings today, and he had been very sure. It would after all be his very first official meeting.

Mallory was stressed out because he was late for his very first official meeting but Mallory was also M, so it wasn't exactly a good look. He tried to think of something else, but the elevator pinged and the doors opened and Mallory took a deep, calming breath. He might be late, but he was also M, and he hadn’t come by the position by doing anything by halves.

Ten minutes later M was sitting in front of Q’s cluttered desk in a previously cluttered chair in a small, cluttered, office. One of the technicians had spotted him entering Q branch, quickly checked the time and guided him to the Quartermasters office. Which was, by the looks of it the smallest room in the entirety of Q branch, and also devoid of a Quartermaster. The tiny, nervous part of M was glad; he wasnt the last to arrive, so he really couldnt be blamed for not being here on time. M leaned back in his chair and occupied his time looking around the room. To him it seemed like a glorified storage space, the only difference being the desk, which was placed in the middle of the room instead of against a wall like one usually saw in a workspace.

M didnt notice someone had walked up behind him until the young man was already past him, dumping a stack of paper onto the desk. Right behind him was M’s new secretary, who somehow balanced four cups of coffee in her hands.

The young man, Q, as M now realised, huffed at the desk, and - M suspected - the mess, before falling backwards into his chair.

Miss moneypenny simply put down the cups of coffee on top of the stack of papers and pulled out a chair from under the desk. Q stencilled his fingers together, : » were still waiting on someone M. Apologies for the delay, but this is important.«

His tone indicated that while it was important it was also tedious.

The somewhat relaxed atmosphere charged as double oh seven - Bond, M remembered - stepped into the office with a loud smile on his face.

»Eve, Q, Mallory,« He nodded at each of them, »so sorry for the delay, my carriage driver didnt know the way«

For a moment Mallory wondered about the odd choice of words, except neither his secretary nor the quartermaster seemed very surprised.

Eve only took a sip of her coffee while Q rolled his eyes so far back it hurt to look at.

»Bond you’ve been using that excuse since the day I met you and its never once seemed believable. Now-»

Q picked up two of the remaining cups and handed one of them to Bond, who immediately pulled a small silver hip flask from his pocket. Mallory could feel the frown on his face form slowly as Bond slowly emptied the entire thing into his cup, before putting down the open flask on the desk in front of him and handing the cup to Mallory.

By now M felt his stare had become somewhat undignified, especially since neither of the others had raised a single eyebrow.

M accepted the cup before the silence in the room became suffocating and watched as Q handed double oh seven the other cup.

As the Quartermaster and Miss Moneypenny quickly drained their cups M barely took a sip but occupied his time watching Bond plop down on the tiny grey couch in the corner.

Finally the Quartermaster let out a long suffering sigh that was, in Mallory’s humble opinion, not appropriate for the situation at hand.

Q cleared his throat. »Gentlefolk. We have gathered here today to fullfill our sacred duty to inform M, of any and all hidden proceedings of MI6’s full scale of operation. Do you, Gareth Mallory, swear a sacred oath not to reveal these secrets to anyone under any circumstances.?«

M blinked. He wasn't sure if Q was serious, but he hadn't seemed like the kind of person to pull something like this.

Miss Moneypenny pointed her chin at the spiced cup in Mallory's hands.

»You should drink that, or you won't be M for much longer.«

M felt his eyebrows rise. »Are you threatening me?«

Eve raised single eyebrow and carefully balanced her cup on her thigh. »It would be terribly cliché of me to say I was merely stating facts, but it's not not like I'm lying so, no. We’re not threatening you. Sign the papers.«

»And why would I do that, after that …particular… statement?«

Double oh seven sat up straighter and M looked back towards Q quick enough to catch the warning flicker the quartermaster was throwing at bond. He sighed in reined compliance and relaxed in his chair.

»Why do you want me to sign then? I'm sorry but reading-»

He ran his thumb over the side of the stack, and checked the final page where a thin dotted line indicated the lack of a signature that he was apparently supposed to provide,

»- 598 pages of any contract is not quite what I would call entertaining.«

He smiled, only a hint of derision visible in his smile.

»Could you maybe be so kind and sum up what you expect me to sign here?«

Immediately the atmosphere changed. Bond was suddenly on the edge of his seat, a shallow smile distorting his features.

»This contract states, in not quite so many words, that you can never, in any way, tell anyone, living or dead what we-« he deliberately gestured around the room, encompassing the three of them.

»-would be legally obligated to tell you if if you do sign it.«

Mallory followed the gesture around the room; A secretary, the oldest double oh in service and a quartermaster young enough to fit in with university students.

To Mallory they didn't paint the most intimidating of pictures, even in their specific line of work.

»Essentially though, this stack of paper is what makes you M.«

Mallory felt his eyebrows climb up to his hairline. »So when you say youre starting facts when you said I wouldn’t be M if I didnt sign you meant that I literally have to sign this to assume the position?«

Bond smiled slyly. »Of course. What did you think It meant«

»also,« Q added pointedly »to become M you have to know what we will tell you. This rule was put in place for a reason - hundreds of years ago - so we really couldn't do anything about it, but since we are legally obligated to tell you, we put in a counter contract, which you are holding now.«

»Essentially, since we have to tell M our secret, M has to be someone who promised not to be a tattle tale, and to ensure that we combined the contracts of secrecy and appointment to office into one.« Moneypenny explained.

»I apologise for the paper mess« Bond smiled sweetly, relaxing into the couch.

»No you don't,« Q and Moneypenny answered in tandem, clearly annoyed.

The double-oh faux pouted »I do! It's hardly my best work. I've done better with less.«

Q squinted at him from behind his glasses and Eve snorted. Mallory felt like he was missing something essential. »You're a lawyer? I apologise, I have not yet had time to read your file-»

»No worries Mallory, I'm not. But I'm also not telling you anything ›till you sign.« Mallory smiled, trying to lighten the mood again. »Can you at least promise I'm not signing away my soul with this? I hardly have the time to read all of this right now.«

An uncomfortable silence spread around the room.

When Bond spoke his words were clearly carefully chosen and spoken slowly, enunciating each syllable perfectly. »I can promise you won't sell away your soul by signing this contract.«

For a second Mallory hesitated at the sheer gravitas of his words, before pulling out a pen and signing on the dotted line.

The other three smiled happily.

"Now," Moneypenny leaned forward. "You won't believe us, and thats fine. We'll make you believe."

Mallory had the feeling he'd just gotten pulled in a mess of extraordinary proportions.

[justcallmetar]

I haven't wrote a text post on Tumblr in a grip lmao but HNY niggas

I just wanted to reflect on my 2021 because I feel like it was probably the most interesting year of my life. I learned a lot about myself as a human being. Like so much and Im still learning which is cool. Always moving forward. I hit the one year mark staying in Indiana in my own place. I fought mad battles of depression, sleepless nights, tears, etc. Was in a serious relationship and did not end well which is normal. Im not going to be the typical person to say that it was toxic or a shitty situationship. It just did not work out like everything else and we both learned from it. I honestly never experience a heartbreak in awhile but I openly admit it was my fault. Not going into detail but whatever. I felt like I made the right decision. Besides that it was also mad shit going on lol. I was lowkey raw dogging life mentally, financially, like all the ways. I definitely don’t regret the trips I made when I wasn't suppose to, bought the dumb shit I did, etc. It seemed like this was the first year I truly experience adulthood at such a late age (in my opinion). I met so many cool people from basketball in this weird ass area of the midwest. I played so much fucking basketball dude lol. It was awesome. I would say basketball kept me sane throughout this entire year. It wasn't really gaming, or photography or whatever else I had going on. It was just the people and basketball. Definitely appreciate everyone I met and still talk to from the summer. I took a lot of walks, hiked, traveled a decent amount around here. I spent a lot of time alone man....and im cool with that. I never been by myself so much until I moved away from Ohio. I tapped into so much of myself just by being alone at the apartment, going to the gym late at night shooting around blasting music, spending nights at the office doing work, streaming when I didnt have internet. Its been such a weird but humbling experience. Im just on this bitch rambling but I dont care. Its just been awhile. Im like sitting in my chair typing this shit on my cracked MacBook hooked up to my monitor damn near about to cry because those days and nights I honestly thought I wasn't going to make it. Yes.....you read it right my g....I thought about it a lot. It doesn't help that im drinking while im typing. But anyways Im thankful for my students at my new job, the people I met, and everyone that deals with me back home. I could keep typing but I think this is a good part to leave at that. But this is just a small part of my year. A lot of experiences, a lot of emotions, a lot of loneliness, a lot of everything. Just dark and light. A lot of contrast or whatever?? I guess. Well fuck it, ill just finish it. One very important thing I learned this year is that it is okay for people to not like you. Its okay to cut close friendships off. I lost a decent a mount of people this year and Im not sad about it. I always thought people come and go anyways. Shitty way to think but its whatever to me. I was just really tired of people not realizing what the fuck was going on, people being stupid, im being thrown under the bus, people being hypocrites, etc. Very tiring. Lowkey tired of being the person to get dumped on but thats been going on for a VERY LONG time. Shit since high school. Definitely met someone just like me but me and her didnt last long which again is my fault but whatever. She lowkey understood me. Not being checked on sometimes can be a big “fuck you”. I noticed people only did such thing if I tweeted some super sus shit or I just stopped communicating lol. Mad annoying. I wish I talked to my oldest brother, my parents, and my grandfather more. Well I lowkey have a long list of people I could've talked more but ya know how shit goes when its been too long. I need to learn how to give people their flowers before its too late. This tequila is beating my ass lmao. This is lowkey refreshing but I know im all over the place. lol this shows you how much I express myself. Niggas know I hate talking. Never was like this. Im getting sleepy. Work in progress still. 

[rqs902]

.

yang chaowen is really a sensitive kid... man he brings out renyu's song's feels and then brings up ylq to relate to the lyrics bc he knows his friend isnt getting as much appreciation as himself. (this makes even more sense after ylq said he had been crying before ycw went onstage and ycw was comforting him... and then after ycw came off the stage, it was time for ylq to comfort him from crying TT) Their friendship is really something. But then ycw saying he just gets ripped for getting screentime for crying all the time ouch but i dont get the feeling that hes doing it for attention but maybe im becoming partly biased towards chaowen :) 

Lol the fact that they focus so much on xzx and how hes favored by gjm but feels like it's unfair to be treated uncomfortably by other trainees as a result... all i can say is, what do u expect, of course the other kids will be salty, their lives are on the line and theyre getting nothing close to the attention you are, so unfortunately u cant win everything :(

Lol I see why everyone on twitter is annoyed at gjm... Jackson is literally trying to say something meaningful and mentor-like to su er and gjm literally interrupts with his own opinion.... jackson is like unable to finish his thought. and then when Cheng xiao is actually trying to give ma haowen advice, gjm just goes WELL I DISAGREE, THIS IS RENYU'S FAULT and everyone's like wtffffff???? And then he starts saying people can help Xinhai with his terrible dance (ouch) but renyu didnt help haowen sing and Huang enyu MY CHILD just goes: but dancing and singing are different....... and I'm just smh.... gjm really shouldnt act like he knows everything when hes the only mentor with zero actual relevant experience :( Poor renyu literally looks like hes about to burst into tears, ma haowen looks so sorry and appalled renyu's getting yelled at and none of the other mentors seem to agree with gjm lol 

lets appreciate renyu’s song, its really good!!! 

Lol this whole mentor segment is a mess but man chaowen and renyu won a lotta votesss ayyy

I think xue en seeing hwh as a pro rapper shows him humbling himself, since hes technically a more seasoned and popular idol performer

Cheng xiao fangirling over xue en I mean SAME hahahahahahaha awwwwww yzx being soooo genuinely happy for xue en is the cutest!!! Aw cto friendship and xue en crying :’) actually one thing ive noticed i feel like yzx seems like a genuinely kind and cheerful friend, maybe people are bashing him bc he pushed off some leaderly responsibilities to lin mo in the last round but maybe hes just not someone to take on a strict leader role (looks at aj from afo...) and realized that since lin mo has such experience and is really good at it, it makes sense to respect his experience and skill and let him take on that role. of course its unfortunate that means lin mo worked extra for less recognition, but i think it seems like yzx really respected and admired him so im hopeful what happened wasnt due to mean intentions 

watching chen junhao feeling lost oh man :/ maybe he hadnt fully prepared himself for the idol life when first coming on this show. its unfortunate reality that in this kind of idol survival show, the focus is more on stage presence and face and performance, rather than the music itself. Hopefully he really feels that hes found a path forward through this performance. This is a really real way to present him but I'm sad theres not as much focus on li chenxu when this is hissss song

Man both the self composed songs are really good!! Mann them making this song a dance song is really hard to watch for li chenxu bc its makes it hard for him to shine at his own song which is sad :( also lzx's rap is questionable lol but cjh's vocal part in the middle part is so emotional, I hope he felt like he was able to express himself fully there

Lol does gjm not realize they didnt have a choice to not dance. Lollllll cheng xiao literally said they had too much to do and tried very hard but he didnt listen.

Aww jackson teaching them about team work :') o gosh I have PTSD about jin fan getting classified as a vocal now after uuu..... also not surprised the entire segment was about sxl and even the judging portion lol....

Oof Jin fan's voiceeee I love

Man why does Jin fan always get stuck in not dance songs ><

more appreciation for xu zhaohao vocals pls!!! imo sxl has a poor attitude :/ he doesnt perform calmly under pressure and isnt doing well at making a good atmosphere for practice

LOL why do i feel like lin mo is always saying "song" things hahahah hes really a kid

but mannn yan an just walking into the elevator is so oof

Aw duan xuyu is too nice... but I guess this is the leader in him coming out

Aw yan an immediately encouraging xikan when he lost the center to him

Lolll xikans little “heheh” when he won 

Mannnn ngl even tho yan an leaves the show, I kinda wish he had a bigger role in this perf bc it's literally like his jam.... chinese style influenced dance.... I wish he had at least 1 memorable dance move, like I feel like Luo Joe already had one in the last perf and he has one again here (and hes very talented and he deserves recognition!) but yan an has yet to really show anything and im scared hes gonna just disappear soon :/

They all did so well tho!!! Truly a group of dancers. Really made me want to rewatch the whole thing immediately. altho the beginning I cant unsee the lin mo meme LOL 

and xikan did really well!! His stage presence is real. And hes put effort into his facial expressions

Luo Joe being cute is iconic

Aw yan an cheering on lin mo when revealing his votes!!

Aw I'm surprised 100 ways kids didnt get more votes.... lol ngl i feel like this show is just randomly adding vote bonuses in for random reasons not prespecified for kids they like.... cough gjm yet again

but oo the next ep looks fun hahahha im excited for a happier ep thats not as stressful.

Ycw keeping it real 2020: "im not good at controlling emotions.... i hope if you want to cry or laugh do it loudly, dont care about what other people think"

ok so maybe im liking more new kids than i expected, but i think thats a good thing that the show is making them likable and some kids are able to stand out! honestly i realized I kinda can see why they eliminated so many to begin with. It's sad but also kinda nice tbh (ouch, i know) bc if they really got rid of the ones who have less skill, it makes it easier for the others who dont have to teach from zero (cough lin mo) And then those with skill get to have at least 3(?) stages, unlike qcyn where jin fan got eliminated after only doing 1 silly stage lol The skill level of the stages is also raised, like there's multiple groups of almost all people who are well qualified. im sure the kids are happy that they get to do more stages, im sure that means a lot to them. 

At least on snzm they attempt to give most trainees a positive light and give screentime to more than just the top 10 trainees. and they allow someee time for vocals, dancers and rappers to get appreciation (even tho dancers are still dominating lol)

but yea honestly I disliked the judging on pdc2019 too tho so at least the judges here can be supportive... at times. it is SUPER biased and gjm is very vocal despite his lack of knowledge tho lol 

it's so bad bc I feel like my standards for shows are so low at this point. my standards get lowered with every show I watch. It's like I guess the snzm songs are okay bc I hated the ones on afo more so at least the stages aren't thattt bad lol At least the rules/general setup aren't as terrible as they were on afo..... at least the camera time isnt as biased as it was on qcyn.... sigh the show isnt doing great, and itd be best if the show would help the tygers get more popular, but I guess its prob better than just doing nothing at star master lol. 

qcyn was just painful to watch from "spirit of the knight" onward bc momo literally was buried, mistreated, disrespected and taken advantage of. at least on snzm he gets some screentime and positive recognition.....

tbh i like snzm, maybe thats an unpopular opinion, but at least there have been some really great stages, where the kids really get to shine. at least i can confidently say that bc of snzm, i have met some new kids who i will be sure to follow for new music moving forward :) 

[rendekobora]

So, some guy at my college sent this out to everyone (we're talking like over 2000) and I'm honestly laughing so hard at this.

Like, I will give the guy some credit for supporting him, but dude; check your facts

'Our saviour', 'humble' and 'Just great guy'. Pretty sure he's been racist on multiple occasions and as for humble; he's a YouTuber and anything but a lot of the time (I have watched some videos).

I'm not a supporter of either, don't get me wrong, personally I think neither of them should be at the top, but still... little bit overkill with sending this to the entire college.

This isn't me trying to cause shit or state my opinion, this is me just comparing what this guy has said to facts. If you like either, good for you, but seriously, don't put this on to the people that don't care and can see fault in your logic. Neither of them is a saviour.

Thank you for your time. Please leave any support or hate comments you want.

P.S. all in all, being the most subscribed to person on YouTube isn't that big of an achievement. Yes, thats a lot of people, but I would be more impressed if it was winning, I don't know, a Nobel prize or something. Especially since a lot of the people who are subscribed don't watch the videos as well. You know, something that would require a tremendous amount of effort or skill. (Not that I'm saying YouTubers don't have skill or effort, but it is harder to put in a thesis that wins a Nobel prize than a funny video of someone planning dream daddy).

[tayegi]

I knew it. I fucking knew that you would do that. The whole chapter showed us a stellar example of a beautiful relationship, full of understanding and respect. It was too good to be true. And then you crushed us. I can’t wait to see what happened on that damn date to make JK act that way, what made him so insecure. I’m so immersed in this story, and I love every word of it, but I also know that the time skip and scenes leading up to it will be the end of me. Thank you. 🙏🏻

Anonymous said:Hey, I just finished reading chapter 9 in New rules, and I just have to tell how good of a writer you are. Feel free to delete this ask or not answer it at all if you feel like it's a spoiler, but I just have to say how shocked I was from Jungkook's reaction to the girl's "confession". Like... holy shit! I did not have that coming in my head at all. First I was shocked that she actually went after him. I knew he wasn't gonna agree, but that specific reaction really threw me off.

Anonymous said:Its mentioned numerous times that the OC is cold.The readers know she can be vulnerable and thats because we are reading from her POV. JK can only interpret the OC from her actions and there has been sooo many instances in NR where the OC is the one who pushes JK away. She’s told JK about the rules and she’s never failed to constantly remind him of them. SO in saying that, it’s obvious JK has to be guarded. I don’t get why some people are surprised as to why he acted the way he did at the end.🦋

Anonymous said:I mean both characters seem to keep track of their feelings and I LOVE that. I appreciate the realness (I don't know if that's a word) of the personality of each character. I hate it when a character is oblivious to their feelings, it just seems fake and reflects, in my eyes, the weakness of the writer. That's why I loved it when the girl would freak out if Jungkook seemed sincere and loving, and then would totally relax if he made a sexual move afterwards.

Anonymous said:🦋I also wanted to add and say how much of an amazing writer you are, it’s insane. I absolutely adore you💕

Anonymous said:It shows that she understands how her feelings are going to change if he were being sincere (which I believe he was, but that's not the point). That is why I was surprised by his reaction. He is not stupid! he sees, analyses and understands, and it just blows me away that he decided to respond that way. I would expect that from the girl but not him, and that is why I am so fucking in love with the story, that girl, Jungkook (OF CORSE!) And finally you! Great job.

Anonymous said:And the last thing that I want to add is that, it is very obvious that the girl reflects your actual opinions on sexism, feminism and all of the other social issues adressed in the story. I personally try to educate myself as much as possible on these matters and consider myself to have been raised in a feminist home, but your story and opinions opened my eyes to issues I never thought about... so thank you ❤

Anonymous said:is2g if jimin ends up being another seokjin i am going to scream™ (but at the same time im all for that angst if it does happen cause you write that good shizz and im highkey addicted)

Anonymous said:After reading (and thinking about for days)the latest chapter of NR, I feel like I get jk on a spiritual level. I see him as truly valuing the oc as a friend and loving her platonically. That doesn't make that affection any less valuable or genuine. That being said, I've found myself in situations like this in real life. I've definitely been the Jungkook before. Anyway, just some thoughts. Love and appreciate your hard work always. 💓💖💓💖 Thanks!

Anonymous said:Hi Lu, how r u? So, i just want to give my humble opnion on NR, because is the story of my life, literally. (English is not my first language so i hope u understand) A couple of years ago, i started hooking up w this boy, basically to forget his best friend, and something that beginned as a fwb kind of secret developet into love, but only for me. At that time i couldnt understand what happend bc everything seemed to be going in the direction of a relashionship (1)

Anonymous said:He was a amazing friend, supportive, caring, and i thought that the sentiment was mutual, even if the agreement was not feelings related. Anyway, long history short, he cut me out, and life moved on, and day by day i stated to understand and separate what we were to what we have. Reading the last chapter of nr i felt everything again, but not in the bad way. I was so concetrated in 'jk is in love with the oc' that i forgot his personality, who he is, and what they have. (2)

Anonymous said:Reading the last chapter of nr i felt everything again, but not in the bad way. I was so concetrated in 'jk is in love with the oc' that i forgot his personality, who he is, and what they have. This chapter reminded me why I love so much ur fics, because how human they are, how the characters have so much personality, how everything is not just good or bad, right and wrong. Thanks so much for the update and i'll be waiting anxiosly for the next, you are amazing!!! 💕 (3)

Anonymous said:Hi! I don't think you got these asks so I'm sending them again.~Okay since we only see everything from OC's POV, what if JK rejected her because he thinks the OC doesn't like him? Because from his POV most of the time the OC is rejecting him and has made it clear he isn't her type. Starting with the first chapter he already had an inkling that she might have had feelings for Jimin, secondly, just like JK the OC also has repeatedly reminded him that she could never catch feelings for him.(1/5)

Anonymous said:Third usually whenever she interacts with him she somehow brings up sex and JK even says "why is it always about sex with you" so here we can clearly see that JK would automatically assume that the OC doesn't interact with him for anything other than sex. Fourth, she didn't even admit she found him attractive until recently and lastly she has never kissed him and everytime he suggests it she says something like "eww." (2/5)

Anonymous said:So like how everyone said that even though JK said he doesn't want a relationship but his actions speak differently, similarly the OC's actions also give a loud and clear message and it's natural for JK to assume she doesn't like him. And maybe when he rejected her he was protecting himself and was doing it as a defense mechanism. I mean think about it, JK was drunk and he confessed a lot of things, wouldn't he be a slight bit worried that OC might suspect that he actually likes her. (3/5)Anonymous said:And when she was confessing to him in the end what if JK felt that she was calling him out for his not so platonic behaviour and drunken confession and he just laughed it off and rejected her as a defence mechanism. I'm not saying it's entirely the OC's fault that JK rejected her because I do feel there's something related to his past as well but the OC's actions towards JK also play a huge part in his behaviour towards the end. (4/5)

Anonymous said:I really want to know your thoughts on this. I know you don't want to give away much but do you think I'm completely off and at looking differently or maybe I'm kind of on the right track? (5/5)P.s. sorry for such a long ask, I went overboard, but NR is SO intriguing that I just had to! 💙

Once again, I have to thank you guys for sending in all your thoughts and feelings regarding the new chapter. It’s literally my favorite thing to read and im always blown away by how deep and insightful you guys are! i love you so much and you guys 100000% win best readers of the year! :D 

[loveshalifeworld]

Copy of Why Do Women Hate Women...SO MUCH?

So I did a little research before writing this Blog. I watched a little Oprah, a little Iyala fix my life, little Love and Hip Hop Hollywood, ya know, the essentials 🤷🏽‍♀️ I can think of a million examples to start with from my personal experiences, friend's experiences, reality TV etc etc, but I'm going to use Cardi B as an example (just bare with me)

I am a super Cardi B fan! Boom, there, I said it. Not because of Bodak yellow, but because she has worked hard to get where she is right now, she just wants to help her family, she is honest about her life and who she is, and she is SO HUMBLE. This woman is still a super fan of every artist she was a fan of before she got her big break, and she is so appreciative of the people who support her music. She is just such a sweet girl, and it makes me proud to see her doing well! SO,  Nicki Minaj had kind of thrown some shade at her by liking a negative comment a "Fan" wrote on a Cardi's IG, and then posting a negative tweet clearly aimed at the new rapper mentioning her boyfriend. Cardi was CRUSHED because she said she couldn't understand why someone she admires so much would go out of the way to tear her down.

Why do we do that to each other? After my very intense research, I think I've got a few ideas:

Social conditioning: we are conditioned as young girls that we have to be better than the person sitting in front of us and behind us. From sports, to clothes, grades, how many friends you have, who you sit with at a lunch table, how to impress a guy more than the girl next to you. It's all been programmed in our minds. The competition (and no I'm not talking about friendly competition, because that is always healthy) is engrained so deeply in us, that we often feel the need to compete in areas where a competition should not even exist.  STORY TIME 🤗🤗 When I was in 7th grade I chopped my hair off because every girl in the 7th grade except maybe two at my new school HATED me because I "thought my hair was cute" (said the ring leader of the group) and because some guy had a crush on me that apparently was the hot guy of middle school. (Fun fact, I didn't start liking boys until summer of my 8th grade year, so their hate was ill directed.)  I'm sure you all are wondering why I remember that alllll these years later. Well I remember it because there was an entire grade of girls who hated me lol I was new and out of the ordinary, those girls were conditioned to hate me and to try to annihilate me, you never forget an annihilation attempt! There was a girl who actually came to me at lunch one day and said "I like you, you seem really nice! but everybody else hates you soooooo yep." She apologized to me as stuck a huge piece of gum in my hair as all the kids at the other tables laughed. I was so confused and I cried lol  I went home and cut my hair, told my mom I accidentally cut it.  After a while of course, the girls realized I did not wish to threaten the social balance and they backed off...for the most part. I later ended up dating the guy most of high school and became amazing friends/frienemies with those girls. I now understand that they had no choice but to hate me. Though I understand it, I don't want to raise my future daughter to treat people that way. I want to condition her mind in a way that she knows, there is room for all of us here to be great.   NOW THAT IM DONE CRYING ABOUT MIDDLE SCHOOL.... a more up to date scenario                                                                                                                                                                                             When I say unnecessary competition, this is what I'm talking about. Say we are in the gym, I don't know you, you don't know me right? I put my treadmill speed at 6.0 you bump yours up to 6.1, midway through I bump mine to 6.8 (because the app that I'm using tells me to,) you bump your up to 6.9 just to stay ahead of me, but now your halfway dead because you're trying to compete with me on something I've BEEN training at. I stop my treadmill to move on to something else and you're thinking "YES! I knew I could beat her 💁🏽" just before you fall off and pass out and get rushed to the hospital. Where as while you're dying, I'm not even aware of the fact that you exist, I'm just happy I was able to finish my run today for once, AND if you had asked me how did I train to to comfortable run for a certain distance, I would have been more than happy to tell you everything I know to help you out!! We are conditioned to feel as if we are in constant competition with each other.  This usually happens in cases of an oppressed people. You get that mentality where "I've gotta look better and have a better body or I won't find a husband.""I've gotta be better,  I've gotta get their first, or there won't be anymore left for me." "If someone Is better than you in anyway, you'll never make it out." That my loves, is the mindset of an oppressed people, and yes, women are an oppressed people. It's not your fault, we are literally trained to be better than each other by any means necessary. It's like Lord of the Flies up in girl world! (If you've never read Lord of the Flies, you HAVE to! That's a good book! It's about these boys who get stranded on an island and...well thats not important here I guess, but still go read it)

External Validation-  Validation (n)- recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile. We have a constant need to be validated by the outside world, some women more than others, but we all need to be validated in some way.  In the movie mean girls Cady (Lindsay Lohan) started off pretending to be a mean girl, but as time went on, she actually became a really mean person because her thirst for validation continued to grow. Her need to be known as the prettiest girl in school, her need to be popular, her need to have the best clothes, her need to have the best hair; all of this because she wanted to feel validated by the outside world. She did't care about who she hurt or made fun or walked over, because her need for validation caused her to not care about being mean to anyone. She was perfectly fine and interesting on her own, but because she developed that need to be accepted and validated, it changed her. We need to hear "omg you're so much prettier than her" "omg your hair is way cuter than hers". MY (insert whatever) has to be BETTER than YOUR (insert whatever) or my dopeness is not VALID. NO SIS you're dope, I'm dope, we are all dope. Thats all the validation you need.

Success- I'm going to break success down in a few different areas

You know the saying "misery loves company"? You know how you will be having a great, lively conversation with one of your friends, and then you spring some good news on her and it gets reaaaallll quiet and dry on the other end of the phone? Women do not like when other women are happy. Whether its a happy relationships, happy at work, or just happy to be alive. Your friend tells you OMG I'm so excited, I just bought these new shoes and they were on sale. She is clearly excited, but secretly you're angry because you wanted those shoes and couldn't afford them that day, so you tell her the shoe s are ugly and make her feet look big, out of "love" of course. Or you have a friend that gets into a new relationship and is very happy, you blow up on her for talking about her new boyfriend, telling her that you're sick of hearing about him (after she has only mentioned him once), all because you're upset that you aren't getting a "text back".  You should want to see your friends happy. Whatever another woman is happy about, just let her be happy, and try to indulge a little bit in her happiness. Sometimes you just honestly, do not want to hear it, girl, I get it; that's not what I'm talking about. I am talking about if the only time you are enjoying a conversation, is if your friend is on the phone crying her eyes out about how her guy mistreated her or dishing about her awful day at work...that is what I'm talking about. I know people like that who are just eager to hear bad news about my life, soooo I don't tell them lol but if it excites you to learn about the low points in people's lives or to see another woman not doing so well, you really should take a look at yourself love. You need to ask yourself why the idea of another woman being happy makes you feel like the wicked witch being melted by rain on the inside.

Women hate to see another woman having a more successful career/business than her. You want to see your friends do well, but not better than you. In the field that I work in, there aren't always a lot of women around! So when I see another woman I'm happy like hey girl hey, lets be better than all these guys together lol It's not always like that, it's every woman for herself 🤷🏽‍♀️ Oh well.  Ya know, I recently met a young woman who is pretty awesome! We clicked immediately, like we both just KNEW ok, this is my soul sister. We chatted as she was doing my hair and the conversation flowed onto the topic of our dreams and we both had a similar idea! In most situations thats a no go, that conversation would have stopped right there because I don't want you to take my ideas and run off and be better than me. We should have been looking at each other side eyed lolGuys, we both got so excited when we realized we had the same idea and ended it with "SIS we need to get on this together, lets set up a meeting and lets collab" !!  You should WANT to see another woman doing well in a career, and if I can help you, or we can work together yesss lets do it. Women should Support women!

Women don't like women who they think are prettier or have a better body than them🤦🏽‍♀️🤔 I'm not even going to get into this one  because it's self explanatory. This is a terrible reason to hate someone... you hate me because you think I'm pretty or my butt is small and round, and I hate you because you're pretty and your'e butt is big and round. Soooo we are all out here admiring each other and instead of complementing...ugh I digress. ALL WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL!!

A QUICK RUNDOWN OF other miscellaneous reasons women hate other women

Women don't like women because of hair,

their shoes 

dressing too "slutty"

dressing too conservative

smiling too much,

having resting b*tch face

having a nice car

perfect makeup

waving

not waving

laughing too loud

she must have gotten a nose job

you stole my boyfriend in 3rd grade

I mean.....you guys get the point by now

I think that It all boils down to INSECURITY. We alllll have little insecurities, but just because I am unsure of myself in an area does not mean that I need to make myself feel better by tearing another woman down. Just because I feel there is an opportunity for another woman to be "better" than me in an area does not mean I should tear her down, talk about her, or discourage her, it just means that I need to make sure I continue to be MY BEST SELF. 

Guys, we desperately need to stop comparing ourselves to each other, that alone eliminates a majority of the issue. There is no comparison to YOU. Stop comparing your love life and your body and your hair. There will always be a woman who has a flatter stomach than you or a better butt or longer hair or a taller boyfriend. We have to be able to recognize the beauty in other women while still appreciating and admiring our own undeniable beauty. I guarantee you while you are looking at her wishing you had something she has, she is looking at you wishing she could have something you have. know why?? Because Every woman is a piece of art work carefully crafted by God. There is so much power and beauty in being a woman, and the world already tries to ta take that power from us, we definitely should not do it to each other.  Empowered women, empower women!! So, take your power back, by loving yourself. There is sooooooo much more that can go into this post, because there is some serious healing that has to go on in the girl's club ya'll, but I'm going to run out of characters lol. For now we have to stop being so nasty to each other! When you run into a woman wearing acute dress or a nice pair of earrings, just compliment her. Just walk up to her like "hey girl! your dress is the cutest thing I've ever seen." If you're going to compliment, might as well SUPER compliment.I do it all the time, like omg girl the way you slayed that ponytail is AMAZINNGGGG haha. Spread some love!Let me know how it goes! I hope you all enjoyed this one! Feel free to leave a comment or send me an e-mail.

PS: Don't forget to give yourself a compliment too 🌻

[loveshalifeworld]

Why Do Women Hate Women...SO MUCH?

So I did a little research before writing this Blog. I watched a little Oprah, a little Iyala fix my life, little Love and Hip Hop Hollywood, ya know, the essentials 🤷🏽‍♀️ I can think of a million examples to start with from my personal experiences, friend's experiences, reality TV etc etc, but I'm going to use Cardi B as an example (just bare with me)

I am a super Cardi B fan! Boom, there, I said it. Not because of Bodak yellow, but because she has worked hard to get where she is right now, she just wants to help her family, she is honest about her life and who she is, and she is SO HUMBLE. This woman is still a super fan of every artist she was a fan of before she got her big break, and she is so appreciative of the people who support her music. She is just such a sweet girl, and it makes me proud to see her doing well! SO,  Nicki Minaj had kind of thrown some shade at her by liking a negative comment a "Fan" wrote on a Cardi's IG, and then posting a negative tweet clearly aimed at the new rapper mentioning her boyfriend. Cardi was CRUSHED because she said she couldn't understand why someone she admires so much would go out of the way to tear her down.

Why do we do that to each other? After my very intense research, I think I've got a few ideas:

Social conditioning: we are conditioned as young girls that we have to be better than the person sitting in front of us and behind us. From sports, to clothes, grades, how many friends you have, who you sit with at a lunch table, how to impress a guy more than the girl next to you. It's all been programmed in our minds. The competition (and no I'm not talking about friendly competition, because that is always healthy) is engrained so deeply in us, that we often feel the need to compete in areas where a competition should not even exist.  STORY TIME 🤗🤗 When I was in 7th grade I chopped my hair off because every girl in the 7th grade except maybe two at my new school HATED me because I "thought my hair was cute" (said the ring leader of the group) and because some guy had a crush on me that apparently was the hot guy of middle school. (Fun fact, I didn't start liking boys until summer of my 8th grade year, so their hate was ill directed.)  I'm sure you all are wondering why I remember that alllll these years later. Well I remember it because there was an entire grade of girls who hated me lol I was new and out of the ordinary, those girls were conditioned to hate me and to try to annihilate me, you never forget an annihilation attempt! There was a girl who actually came to me at lunch one day and said "I like you, you seem really nice! but everybody else hates you soooooo yep." She apologized to me as stuck a huge piece of gum in my hair as all the kids at the other tables laughed. I was so confused and I cried lol  I went home and cut my hair, told my mom I accidentally cut it.  After a while of course, the girls realized I did not wish to threaten the social balance and they backed off...for the most part. I later ended up dating the guy most of high school and became amazing friends/frienemies with those girls. I now understand that they had no choice but to hate me. Though I understand it, I don't want to raise my future daughter to treat people that way. I want to condition her mind in a way that she knows, there is room for all of us here to be great.   NOW THAT IM DONE CRYING ABOUT MIDDLE SCHOOL.... a more up to date scenario                                                                                                                                                                                             When I say unnecessary competition, this is what I'm talking about. Say we are in the gym, I don't know you, you don't know me right? I put my treadmill speed at 6.0 you bump yours up to 6.1, midway through I bump mine to 6.8 (because the app that I'm using tells me to,) you bump your up to 6.9 just to stay ahead of me, but now your halfway dead because you're trying to compete with me on something I've BEEN training at. I stop my treadmill to move on to something else and you're thinking "YES! I knew I could beat her 💁🏽" just before you fall off and pass out and get rushed to the hospital. Where as while you're dying, I'm not even aware of the fact that you exist, I'm just happy I was able to finish my run today for once, AND if you had asked me how did I train to to comfortable run for a certain distance, I would have been more than happy to tell you everything I know to help you out!! We are conditioned to feel as if we are in constant competition with each other.  This usually happens in cases of an oppressed people. You get that mentality where "I've gotta look better and have a better body or I won't find a husband.""I've gotta be better,  I've gotta get their first, or there won't be anymore left for me." "If someone Is better than you in anyway, you'll never make it out." That my loves, is the mindset of an oppressed people, and yes, women are an oppressed people. It's not your fault, we are literally trained to be better than each other by any means necessary. It's like Lord of the Flies up in girl world! (If you've never read Lord of the Flies, you HAVE to! That's a good book! It's about these boys who get stranded on an island and...well thats not important here I guess, but still go read it)

External Validation-  Validation (n)- recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile. We have a constant need to be validated by the outside world, some women more than others, but we all need to be validated in some way.  In the movie mean girls Cady (Lindsay Lohan) started off pretending to be a mean girl, but as time went on, she actually became a really mean person because her thirst for validation continued to grow. Her need to be known as the prettiest girl in school, her need to be popular, her need to have the best clothes, her need to have the best hair; all of this because she wanted to feel validated by the outside world. She did't care about who she hurt or made fun or walked over, because her need for validation caused her to not care about being mean to anyone. She was perfectly fine and interesting on her own, but because she developed that need to be accepted and validated, it changed her. We need to hear "omg you're so much prettier than her" "omg your hair is way cuter than hers". MY (insert whatever) has to be BETTER than YOUR (insert whatever) or my dopeness is not VALID. NO SIS you're dope, I'm dope, we are all dope. Thats all the validation you need.

Success- I'm going to break success down in a few different areas

You know the saying "misery loves company"? You know how you will be having a great, lively conversation with one of your friends, and then you spring some good news on her and it gets reaaaallll quiet and dry on the other end of the phone? Women do not like when other women are happy. Whether its a happy relationships, happy at work, or just happy to be alive. Your friend tells you OMG I'm so excited, I just bought these new shoes and they were on sale. She is clearly excited, but secretly you're angry because you wanted those shoes and couldn't afford them that day, so you tell her the shoe s are ugly and make her feet look big, out of "love" of course. Or you have a friend that gets into a new relationship and is very happy, you blow up on her for talking about her new boyfriend, telling her that you're sick of hearing about him (after she has only mentioned him once), all because you're upset that you aren't getting a "text back".  You should want to see your friends happy. Whatever another woman is happy about, just let her be happy, and try to indulge a little bit in her happiness. Sometimes you just honestly, do not want to hear it, girl, I get it; that's not what I'm talking about. I am talking about if the only time you are enjoying a conversation, is if your friend is on the phone crying her eyes out about how her guy mistreated her or dishing about her awful day at work...that is what I'm talking about. I know people like that who are just eager to hear bad news about my life, soooo I don't tell them lol but if it excites you to learn about the low points in people's lives or to see another woman not doing so well, you really should take a look at yourself love. You need to ask yourself why the idea of another woman being happy makes you feel like the wicked witch being melted by rain on the inside.

Women hate to see another woman having a more successful career/business than her. You want to see your friends do well, but not better than you. In the field that I work in, there aren't always a lot of women around! So when I see another woman I'm happy like hey girl hey, lets be better than all these guys together lol It's not always like that, it's every woman for herself 🤷🏽‍♀️ Oh well.  Ya know, I recently met a young woman who is pretty awesome! We clicked immediately, like we both just KNEW ok, this is my soul sister. We chatted as she was doing my hair and the conversation flowed onto the topic of our dreams and we both had a similar idea! In most situations thats a no go, that conversation would have stopped right there because I don't want you to take my ideas and run off and be better than me. We should have been looking at each other side eyed lolGuys, we both got so excited when we realized we had the same idea and ended it with "SIS we need to get on this together, lets set up a meeting and lets collab" !!  You should WANT to see another woman doing well in a career, and if I can help you, or we can work together yesss lets do it. Women should Support women!

Women don't like women who they think are prettier or have a better body than them🤦🏽‍♀️🤔 I'm not even going to get into this one  because it's self explanatory. This is a terrible reason to hate someone... you hate me because you think I'm pretty or my butt is small and round, and I hate you because you're pretty and your'e butt is big and round. Soooo we are all out here admiring each other and instead of complementing...ugh I digress. ALL WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL!!

A QUICK RUNDOWN OF other miscellaneous reasons women hate other women

Women don't like women because of hair,

their shoes 

dressing too "slutty"

dressing too conservative

smiling too much,

having resting b*tch face

having a nice car

perfect makeup

waving

not waving

laughing too loud

she must have gotten a nose job

you stole my boyfriend in 3rd grade

I mean.....you guys get the point by now

I think that It all boils down to INSECURITY. We alllll have little insecurities, but just because I am unsure of myself in an area does not mean that I need to make myself feel better by tearing another woman down. Just because I feel there is an opportunity for another woman to be "better" than me in an area does not mean I should tear her down, talk about her, or discourage her, it just means that I need to make sure I continue to be MY BEST SELF. 

Guys, we desperately need to stop comparing ourselves to each other, that alone eliminates a majority of the issue. There is no comparison to YOU. Stop comparing your love life and your body and your hair. There will always be a woman who has a flatter stomach than you or a better butt or longer hair or a taller boyfriend. We have to be able to recognize the beauty in other women while still appreciating and admiring our own undeniable beauty. I guarantee you while you are looking at her wishing you had something she has, she is looking at you wishing she could have something you have. know why?? Because Every woman is a piece of art work carefully crafted by God. There is so much power and beauty in being a woman, and the world already tries to ta take that power from us, we definitely should not do it to each other.  Empowered women, empower women!! So, take your power back, by loving yourself. There is sooooooo much more that can go into this post, because there is some serious healing that has to go on in the girl's club ya'll, but I'm going to run out of characters lol. For now we have to stop being so nasty to each other! When you run into a woman wearing acute dress or a nice pair of earrings, just compliment her. Just walk up to her like "hey girl! your dress is the cutest thing I've ever seen." If you're going to compliment, might as well SUPER compliment.I do it all the time, like omg girl the way you slayed that ponytail is AMAZINNGGGG haha. Spread some love!Let me know how it goes! I hope you all enjoyed this one! Feel free to leave a comment or send me an e-mail.

PS: Don't forget to give yourself a compliment too 🌻