#the 1997 one is obviously top tier

[likelylarks]

as always, the only cure for me feeling like shit and needing to cry and also scream is watching some version of cinderella

[storyweaverofgondor]

My Top Cinderella Movies

One thing to know about me, Child Me was obsessed with Cinderella. These are how I'd personally rate these movies. The major points i'm judging on is quality and watchability (a.k.a can you watch it in any mood or do you need to be in a certain place)

Roger and Hammerstein's Cinderella 1997: This movie is *chef's kiss*. Good retelling, fun, doesn't shy away from heavy moments but doesn't go too far. Wonderful songs. Beautiful visuals. Brandy is an incredible Cinderella. Whitney Houston, Whoopi Goldberg and Bernadette Peters guest stars and are a joy. Can watch this in any mood.

Cinderella (2015): Not a half bad Cinderella. Little annoying that the Prince doesn't have an actual name still and goes a bit heavy in certain parts so you can't watch it in certain moods. Good adaption of the Disney movie tho and i love the classic fairy tale moments. There's a few themes i feel a bit iffy on. But overall not bad.

Ever After: Ok, this is obviously a great movie. But some of the scenes are . . . unwatchable if i'm not in a good place. (Watching Danielle's father's book get burned could make me suicidal if i watched it in a bad place.) But come on, Ever After is a god tier Cindy adaption regardless.

Disney's Cinderella (50s): A classic. Visually stunning. I love it tho there are a few moments that are a bit intense. I have to be in a very specific mood for it though.

[these-detestable-hands]

Hiii I'm normal here's my revenge tier list

Each story is ranked by how well I think revenge is portrayed and how good the writing is.

Other stuff I wanna add eventually:

Count of Monte Cristo anime

Count of Monte Cristo 2002 movie

Aserpa from golden kamuy

Explanation for each placement under the cut. Obviously there's major spoilers for everything on the tier list.

S tier

Edmond Dantes from the count of Monte Cristo: the 20 chapter pay off at the end of the book where Edmond gets his revenge and realizes he's miserable is immaculate. Nothing will top this ever

Thorfinn from vinland saga: Note: I have only watched the VS anime. He doesn't get his revenge and he's angry for a bit but gets over it and decides to help others in similar situations to him, it's perfect cause he's finally moved on, he's talked to his mom and sister again and he's helping others because he understands their pain.

A tier

Primrose from octopath 1: really I just love the final scene where she realizes she's not happier after getting revenge and is just as miserable because it doesn't glorify revenge. Also huge fan of her fourth chapter, it was really awesome and the writing is really good.

Gut from berserk: Note: I've only watched the 1997 anime and everything else is based on infodumps from my brother and a friend, his place on the tier list is likely to change once I read the manga. Guts does his revenge quest but it's never glorified. It's not as directly shown as CMC or Prim's story but the subtle metaphors are excellent, notably the one about his sword becoming duller since deciding to take revenge on Griffith.

Godot from ace attorney: I'm likely super biased because I just finish TT yesterday but I like his cause it's a little unique. It focuses on the feeling of emptiness without ever having done the revenge because he has the unique problem of both the person he wants to avenge and the person he wants to take revenge on being gone. He blames himself for Mia's death and uses that same logic to get pissed at Wright in attempts to find someone to let all his anger out on. And then the grand finale of just deciding to protect what's left of Mia by hatching this elaborate plan to protect Maya. I'll probably write a long post or smth about how great his story is in a few days once it's had some more time to sink in.

B tier

Erhardt from octopath 1: this one maybe isn't technically a revenge story but I'm including it because Olberic's story follows the aftermath of a perfectly executed revenge. It's been two months since I last played Olberic's third chapter so sorry if I misremembered something but I like that Erhardt has just kinda given up and is fine spending the rest of his life killing steroid lizards.

Osvald from octopath 2: As much as I love Elena, she ruined his story. The second she appears again, revenge is thrown out the window. You'd think this would be good because revenge is bad and this means Osvald has someone to live for, right? WRONG!!! In attempts to save Elena, he kills Harvey anyway. And what's worse, now with the whole thing of abandoning revenge to save Elena, SQ had to commit and make his story about love, so that's what they did, right? WRONG AGAIN!!! Osvald saves his daughter and even gains the magic power of love while saving her but he ABANDONS her. It makes perfect sense that he can't stay with her at home because there's 7 other Mcs and Osvald can't just be MIA if you wanna use OTM for their story battles and the other elephant in the room is journey for the dawn, but his excuse is so weak. "I have to track down Harvey's accomplices" OK let's list the problems with this!!

1. Osvald doesn't know for sure that Harvey has accomplices and, even if he did know for sure, judging by the fact that Osvald himself never encountered them, he could deduce they're simply not interested in him and helped Harvey for selfish reasons that have nothing to do with OTM.

2. "well Elena couldn't remember him so there's no point in staying" YOU BITCH listen to me. Osvald never even talked to her, he never popped in to say hi. We know from Castti's stories that the logic Solistia runs on is that amnesiacs will remember things if they see something from their past (idk if this is real too, that's why the wording is odd) and there's a travel banter about it, so why didn't Osvald try that? He didn't think to say hi? "but it might be overwhelming for her" NO LISTEN Elena saw the grieving golem, got stabbed by Harvey and has likely been medical malpracticed while in Harvey's care, how bad could meeting her bio dad be? Worst case scenario, she gets her memories back and remembers the fire but what's worse, not knowing your bio dad or having your bio dad play an active role in your life but you also remember your mother's death? CLEARLY THE SECOND OPTION. ELENA NEEDS A PILLAR TO LEAN ON AND CLARISSA JUST WON'T CUT IT, SHE NEEDS HER DAD.

3. "what if Elena didn't remember him upon seeing him?" so? We can't know if she would because Osvald never even tried it.

Tldr: Osvald is a stupid little pissbaby and coward and I think his entire story was ruined by the latter half of his final chapter.

The monster from Frankenstein: he had no one to lean on and was never given any chances because he looks like that, logically it makes sense he'd be pissed and want to kill the creator who gave him his miserable existence. I don't have to go into detail,

C tier

Polnareff and Ermes can be have the exact same explanation but with the names and pronouns changed, they suck got the exact same reason because Araki can write only write one (1) revenge story.

X's sister gets killed by Y stand user so they group up with Jojo to avenge their sister. The fight against Y is weirdly brushed over and the conclusion to their revenge stories are no biggie in the grand scheme of things because they're not the protagonist.

Not fond of either because they glorify revenge.

D tier

Todd from the Sweeney Todd musical (Tim Burton movie cause it's the one I've seen so idk if 2006 is different): this is hardly revenge at all, some dude just wanted to write a disturbing, gorey musical with the goal of making it as upsetting as possible. In his defense, it's 18+ so it's not like I wasn't warned but there's still no reason for it to be that dang gorey. Story ends with like 4 character deaths and the only people that get to be happy are Anthony and Johanna because they elope. There's no point to the story. Some songs are good though so it at least has that.

[dodgebolts]

Hello! Happy June! It's Pride and I have another question (4/30)

Today we are talking about queer representation in media. In 1894 "The Dickson Experimental Sound Film" is released, becoming the first "gay film". It was also known as "The Gay Brothers", it feature two men dancing together and it reportedly "shocked audiences with its subversion of conventional male behaviour". Unfortunately, in 1934 the USA introduced the Hays Code, which, while it didn't explicitly ban queerness, banned queerness in effect. This resulted in three decades of queer-coded villains, such as Joel Cairo in "The Maltese Falcon" (1941) and Jack Favell in "Rebecca" (1940).

The Hays Code was lifted in 1968, and the queer cult classic "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" was released in 1975, and gave a much-needed positive and FUN representation of queer people and queerness. Unfortunately, this was short-lived, as the rising AIDs crisis worsened the stigma around the gay community. This didn't stop everyone though, and in 1985 "Desert Hearts" was released; regarded as the first mainstream lesbian film with a happy ending.

Further on, the first gay kiss on TV in the UK was on "EastEnders" in 1989, "Ellen" became the first American tv show with an openly gay lead in 1997, and other show such as "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" started to add recurring LGBTQ+ characters. An important show in the UK was "Queer as Folk" (1999) which was one of the first shows to depict the queer community as vibrant and alive.

Even further forward, and "Moonlight" (2017) became the first LGBTQ+ film (and the first all-black cast) to win Best Picture at the Oscars. GLAAD publishes an annual report showing how representation is changing. 2005-2006 1.4% of regular characters vs 2020-2021 the figure is at 9.1%. So, there is still a long way to go obviously, especially because media is often the main or only place that young people have an insight into the community at all.

Because of this, I want to ask you for a recommendation: What is a piece of queer media that you think more people should see? (it can be literally anything, big/small, funny/sad, smart/stupid <- just anything you think deserves to be watched!:))

(I'll go first: "Eu Não Quero Voltar Sozinho" (or "I Don't Want to Go Back Alone) is a really really cute Brazillian short film available on Youtube! (if you enjoy it, there is also a full-length film version called "Hoje Eu Quero Voltar Sozinho" (or "The Way He Looks"))

Happy Pride 🌈 🎉

hi anon!! if I'm being honest I rarely ever watch fictional media at all like I only watch nonfiction stuff and then gaming streams nowadays 😭 I went to look through my netflix/hbo max apps to see if there was anything I could recommend, and though I didn't find anything that I can comfortably say I recommend as queer media (that being said arcane's caitvi subplot is top tier + the league heartthrob skin line from earlier this year makes them dangerously close to nanobomb levels of canon), I did find a collection of documentaries put together for pride month that I will be adding to my watch later for whenever I feel like I want to watch something new :>

[cindymoon]

I had a question......

Could you suggest me some movies(of your choice) because I am just bored with marvel, DC, The Boys and basically the whole superhero genre for now. I need something refreshing in my life. If you could give some suggestions it would be great.

Have a great day/night ahead :D

sorry for the delay!! but here are some movies i like, old and recent:

pride (2014) - one of my fav movies

mona lisa smile (2003) - also one of my favs

practical magic (1998) - a classicccccc

marie antoinette (2006) - another fav<333

uptown girls (2003) - shaking crying throwing up

mad max: fury road (2015) - yes

the year of spectacular men (2018) - this isn't like top tier cinema or anything but it's just a kind of relatable slice of life story that's become one of my comfort movies

scream (2022) - YESSSSS

scream 4 (2011) - obviously

the hundred foot journey (2014) - makes me wanna learn how to cook better

freaky (2020) - YEAH

igby goes down (2002) - baby kieran culkin omg

from up on poppy hill (2011) - a regular rewatch/comfort movie for me

nausicaa of the valley of the wind (1984) - i hate bugs but i love this movie

princess mononoke (1997) - y e s

spencer (2021) - kristen stewart thank u

mary shelley (2017) - elle fanning thank u

fighting with my family (2019) - emo wrestler florence pugh like hello !!!

let me know if you check any of these out!! i honestly just went through my watch lists on a few streaming sites bc i can never remember movies or shows off the top of my head lolll

[fcbayern]

Hallo! Hope you are well! I love your blog and it’s made me really want to understand and get into Bundesliga. How can I know everything I need to know about Bayern so I’m up to date and understand what’s happening within the team? I hope this makes sense? Danke!

hi anon! i’m so sorry it took me so long to reply to this. this week’s been so busy already.

i guess the internet is a good place to start for your research :) of course wikipedia itself is not a bad source, but if you really want to get information, look at the bottom of the wikipedia page for all the teams in the bundesliga, and get the info from the sources there. that’s what wikipedia uses to write their articles, so that should give you even more insight into the bundesliga and its teams, and rules, etc than you already get from the wikipedia article itself.

i’ll try and sum up the most basic info for you - that i know - and if you have any other questions, feel free to send me another message and maybe we can get into more detail:

bundesliga is the highest “class” / tier that you can play in, in germany. it is divided into 2 different tiers: 1. bundesliga and 2. bundesliga.

1. bundesliga consists of 18 teams.

for the upcoming seasons - currently in alphabetical order because the new season doesn’t start until the 18th of September - these are the teams:

DSC Arminia Bielefeld

FC Augsburg

Bayer Leverkusen

FC Bayern München

Borussia Dortmund

Borussia Mönchengladbach

Eintracht Frankfurt

1. SC Freiburg

Hertha BSC Berlin

TSG Hoffenheim

1. FC Köln

1. FSV Main 05

Red Bull Leipzig

FC Schalke 04

VfB Stuttgart

Union Berlin

Werder Bremen

VfL Wolfsburg

Arminia Bielefeld were promoted from 2nd league, where they ended up in first place in the season of 2019/2020. The second team that was promoted is VfB Stuttgart. In exchange for these two teams being promoted, two teams have to be relegated. In the season of 2019/2020 those two teams were SC Paderborn 07 and Fortuna Düsseldorf.

Back to the Bundesliga Basics:

The Bundesliga stands under the umbrella of “DFB”, or Deutscher Fußball Bund (German Football Association), which was founded in 1900. In 1904 the FIFA (Fédération Internationale de Football Association) was founded, which is basically the big boss of football. They keep an eye on a number of football associations across the world and also set up the Men’s and Women’s World Cup. DFB joined the FIFA right away in 1904, and in 1954 DFB also joined the UEFA, which is an acronym for Union des Associations Européennes de Football and therefor takes care of all things football in Europe. Self-explanatory.

UEFA wasn’t founded until 1954 because... things happened in Europe in the 30s and 40s.

During the time of the Nazi regime the DFB was dismantled in 1940 and it didn’t pick up again until 1950, when the Federal German Republic was reformed, and the West German football associations decided to get the DFB back up and running. They re-joined FIFA in 1954, and, as mentioned before, also joined UEFA that same year.

The Bundesliga how we know it, however, was not actually a thing until 28. Juli 1962, starting with the season of 1963/1964. Before that there were a number of clubs and associations throughout Germany who all kind of played side by side, and eventually in the 30s the idea of a “Reichsliga” (league of the German Reich) was brought up, where a certain number of teams would play and one would end up winning the title. Kind of what we do now.

And then the war happened.

And in between the end of that and the 60s, obviously they had brought some ideas back to the table, had tried to figure out a more competitive way and to bring football closer to the people.

In 1962 the idea of the Bundesliga was founded. 16 teams were to play each other in one league, competing against each other. 5 from “Oberliga Süd”, 5 from “Oberliga West”, 3 from “Oberliga Nord”, 2 from “Oberliga Südwest” and one from the Berlin City League - the Western part of Berlin, of course.

They had a super complicated system in place to figure out which teams would eventually be allowed to be the “founding fathers” of the Bundesliga. It had to do with economics, they ended up coming up with a weird system for who gets how many points for winning their own league, adding those up, multiplying, and then somehow they ended up with 16 teams... don’t ask me how, I have dyscalculia, I don’t understand their way of thinking at all. Maybe there was some voodoo involved, God knows, honestly.

Eventually they had their 16 winners from the aforementioned leagues:

Oberliga Süd: Eintracht Frankfurt, Karlsruher SC, 1. FC Nürnberg, TSV 1860 München, VfB Stuttgart Oberliga Nord: Eintracht Braunschweig, Werder Bremen, Hamburger SV Oberliga West: Borussia Dortmund, 1. FC Köln, Meidericher SV, Preußen Münster, FC Schalke 04 Oberliga Südwest: 1. FC Kaiserslautern, 1. FC Saarbrücken Stadtliga Berlin: Hertha BSC Berlin

In 1963 this “Bundesliga” wasn’t a pro-league, though. And there were a ton of rules in place that would probably make you go “huh?” these days... or maybe you’d think they are great rules and they need to make a comeback. A transfer, for example, could only cost up to 50.000 German Mark (roughly 25.564,50€ / $30.149,62).

Until 1967 you also weren’t allowed to sign more than three players from another team for the upcoming season.

At some point it was decided that football players would also have the benefits of a full-time worker, if they decided on football as a career, and not just something they did on the side.

When East and West Germany were reunited in 1989 / the early 90s, that’s when the Bundesliga really became more of a commercial success not just in Germany, but also throughout non-German Europe and the rest of the world. Which is also largely due to Germany winning the World Cup in 1990, and the European title in 1996, but the Bundesliga was also specifically marketed to popular media. In 1991 the German Football Association of the German Democratic Republic (Deutsche Fußball-Verband der DDR) - the East German football association - joined DFB. Thus Germany was one again, not just on paper, but also in football.

Another thing that helped the popularity of the Bundesliga was the fact that in the 90s at least one Bundesliga club reached a European championship semi-final. In 1997 Borussia Dortmund won the Champions League, in 1996 Bayern München won the Europapokal, in 1997 Schalke 04 won the UEFA-Pokal. And in the following championships at least one German team reached the final of said competitions.

Let’s jump to the 2000s!

Since 2000 FC Bayern München has won the Bundesliga 13 times. The other winners were: Borussia Dortmund (2002, 2011, 2012), Werder Bremen (2004), VfB Stuttgart (2007) and VfL Wolfsburg (2009). Bayern München is also the only Bundesliga team in the 2000s to win the Champions League: 2013 and 2020.

After all that knowledge, here’s some random facts and numbers that you might find interesting:

- since it was founded in 1963, a total of 56 teams have played in Germany’s highest league - until the season of 2017/2018 Hamburger SV was part of the 1. Bundesliga for 55 seasons, which was a record. Now Werder Bremen holds this record, with 56 seasons to their name - Bayer Leverkusen holds the nickname of “Vizekusen” (Vice-Kusen), and they were at one point regarded as the “ever-second”, always getting close to the top, but never reaching it - Karl-Heinz Körbel has the most Bundesliga appearances: 602 - for Eintracht Frankfurt. He never lost a final with Frankfurt and was never relegated. - Bernd Stöber was the youngest coach in the season of 1976/1977 a t just 24 years, 1 month and 17 days old. - Brazil is the best-represented nation after Germany, with 159 Bundesliga exports (159), followed by Denmark (129), Austria (119), Croatia (118) and Poland (109). - in the season of 2019/2020 Thomas Müller had the most assists: 21. - retired football player Gerd Müller, whose active career was between 1965-1979, holds the record for the most goals: 365. - Otto Rehhagel holds the record for most matches as a manager: 832.

Now let’s go back to where we started: the season of 2020/2021.

As mentioned above, the 1. Bundesliga has 18 teams. To get you up-to-date I’ll give you some more info on each team, that you might find useful!

DSC Arminia Bielefeld: - founded: May 3rd 1905 - manager: Uwe Neuhaus - stadium: SchücoArena

FC Augsburg: - founded: August 8th 1907 - manager: Heiko Herrlich - stadium: WWK Arena

Bayer 04 Leverkusen: - founded: July 1st 1904 -> rebranded to current name on April 1st 1999 - manager: Peter Bosz - stadium: BayArena

FC Bayern München: - founded: February 27th 1900 - manager: Hansi Flick - stadium: Allianz Arena

Borussia Dortmund: - founded: December 19th 1909 - manager: Lucien Favre - stadium: Signal Iduna Park

Borussia Mönchengladbach: - founded: August 1st 1900 - manager: Marco Rose - stadium: BORUSSIA-PARK

Eintracht Frankfurt: - founded: March 8th 1899 - manager: Adi Hütter - stadium: Deutsche Bank Park

SC Freiburg: - founded: May 30th 1904 - manager: Christian Streich - stadium: Schwarzwald-Stadion

Hertha BSC Berlin: - founded: July 25th 1892 - manager: Bruno Labbadia - stadium: Olympiastadion Berlin

TSG 1899 Hoffenheim: - founded: July 1st 1899 - manager: Sebastian Hoeneß - stadium: Prezero-Arena

1. FC Köln: - founded: February 13th 1948 - manager: Markus Gisdol - RheinEnergieSTADION

1. FSV Mainz 05: - founded: March 16th 1905 - manager: Achim Beierlorzer - stadium: OPEL ARENA

Red Bull Leipzig: - founded: May 19th 2009 - manager: Julian Nagelsmann - Red Bull Arena

FC Schalke 04: - founded: May 4th 1904 - manager: David Wagner - stadium: VELTINS-Arena

VfB Stuttgart: - founded: September 9th 1893 - manager: Pellegrino Matarazzo - Mercedes-Benz Arena

1. FC Union Berlin: - founded: January 20th 1966 (originally 1906) - manager: Urs Fischer - stadium: Stadion An der Alten Försterei

SV Werder Bremen: - founded: February 4th 1899 - manager: Florian Kohfeldt - stadium: Weserstadion

VfL Wolfsburg: - fonded: September 12th 1945 -> rebranded to current name on January 16th 2001 - manager: Oliver Glasner - stadium: Volkswagen Arena

Maybe, to get a feeling for each club, you can check out each club’s YouTube account. Through that you should be able to find their other social media, or just by simply googling the team name:

Arminia Bielefeld ● FC Augsburg ● Bayer 04 Leverkusen ● FC Bayern München  ● Borussia Dortmund ● Borussia Mönchengladbach ● Eintracht Frankfurt ● 1. SC Freiburg ● Hertha BSC Berlin ● TSG Hoffenheim ● 1. FC Köln ● 1. FSV Main 05 ● Red Bull Leipzig ● FC Schalke 04 ● VfB Stuttgart ● Union Berlin ● Werder Bremen ● VfL Wolfsburg

Each football team has 11 players on the pitch. For the new season in 2019 it was decided that instead of 18 players, each team would be allowed to have 20 players in total - which means 9 substitute players on the bench.

During each season a team can win three main cups (the ones that everyone cares about the most, let’s be real): DFB-Pokal, Meistertitel (Bundesliga winner) and Champions League trophy. The last of which is not a German tournament / cup to be won, so I’ll leave that out for now.

DFB Pokal:

The DFB-Pokal is a German knockout competition, starting out with 64 teams. 36 teams are from the Bundesliga and 2. Bundesliga, the top four finishers of the third league are automatically added to the list. 21 slots are given to the cup winners of regional football associations, and the remaining 3 slots are given to the regional associations with the most men’s teams.

Direct quote from Wikipedia, which in turn got their information from here: for the first round, the 64 teams are split into two pots of 32. One pot contains the 18 teams from the previous season of the Bundesliga and the top 14 teams from the previous season of the 2. Bundesliga. The other pot contains the bottom 4 teams from the previous season of the 2. Bundesliga, the top 4 teams from the previous season of the 3. Liga and the 24 amateur teams that qualified through regional football tournaments. Teams from one pot are drawn against teams from the other pot. Since 1982, teams from the pot containing amateur teams have played the game at home.For the second round, the teams are again divided into two pots according to the same principles. Depending on the results of the first round, the pots might not be equal in terms of number. Teams from one pot are drawn against teams from the other pot until one pot is empty. The remaining teams are then drawn against each other with the team first drawn playing the game at home.For the remaining rounds, other than the final, the teams are drawn from one pot. Since 1985 the final has been held in the Olympic Stadium in Berlin.

Meistertitel:

The Meistertitel is rewarded to the team that comes out on top on the last match-day of the season. Of course it can be calculated whether other teams can still catch up - points-wise - but the Meisterschale is not rewarded until the season is over. The current record-holder of most Bundesliga wins is FC Bayern München (29), followed by Borussia Dortmund and Borussia Mönchengladbach (5) and Werder Bremen (4) in second and third place.

With the first three Bundesliga wins a team gets a gold star to put on their jersey, with five wins they get a second, ten wins is a third, twenty wins is a forth star. On top of that, the reigning Bundesliga champion gets to wear the Bundesliga logo in gold color on their sleeve.

And that’s that on that.

I don’t know what language you’re fluent in, but here are some football apps that you might enjoy using, to be on track with the upcoming season:

OneFootball

Kicker App

Bundesliga App

11 Freunde App

Amazon Bundesliga Radio

each team’s individual app for updates and news

You can also check out @bundesliga_en on Instagram and Twitter.

One last info for you, so you can jump right into it on the first day of the new Bundesliga season (fixtures are never really 100% until a day or two before the match is supposed to be, so this is preliminary): here is the link for the schedule of the upcoming 1. Bundesliga season.

You can also check out the 2. Bundesliga schedule, because it’s super interesting down there in the second league as well! I highly recommend it (keep your fingers crossed for Paderborn for me!).

I think that’s about everything I can tell you. This reply is already faaaaaaaaar too long, and I apologize! If you have any questions or want me to elaborate, feel free to send me another message.

Have the best time getting used to the Bundesliga, and welcome to the family!

Sources - with more info - under the cut:

fun facts: https://www.bundesliga.com/en/bundesliga/news/easter-eggs-surprising-facts-and-figures-you-may-not-know-3798

team information / schedule: https://www.dfb.de/bundesliga/spieltagtabelle/

team information / schedule (2nd source): https://www.kicker.de/dfb-pokal/spieltag

general information: https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fu%C3%9Fball-Bundesliga

app suggestions: https://www.smartmobil.de/magazin/fussball-apps

explanation for how the DFB-Pokal: https://web.archive.org/web/20090609211623/https://www.dfb.de/index.php?id=460546

[pokemonruby]

As someone who only played FFXV (and enjoyed it), would you recommend the FFVII remake?

oh absolutely! the ffvii remake has incredibly fun gameplay and the graphics are obviously top tier since it’s square enix, but i think where this game shines most are in its engaging story & characters. it has peak voice acting both in the original japanese version & english dub to top it off! 

now, ffvii does suffer from a few problems, such as unnecessary additions to the plot of the original game but also fixes some glaring flaws that we’re present in the aforementioned original, considering that it came out in 1997 and a lot of stuff obviously didn’t age well. but besides from a few nitpicks here and there i think the remake is a really great game. i’m in the process of replaying it myself actually! i think i’m getting a lot more enjoyment out of it in my second playthrough since i played the original game a few months ago so it’s like, hitting different this time around, in comparison to when i played it at launch with little knowledge of the game’s universe outside of “oh this game has sephiroth” 

i would definitely recommend the original game as well; like i said, it is a bit outdated in its graphics and dialogue, but it’s become one of my favorite games of all time since playing it back in december. i absolutely adored it. it’s on steam for 20$ or you can just emulate it, but if you want to get the full experience i strongly recommend playing the original game AND the remake. 

oh and if you end up playing the original game don’t forget to watch advent children afterwards! 

[topimagines]

Inferno

Violence

Summary:  Where do people go when they die? Well, for the least lucky people in the world, hell is waiting. But what happens when these people do go to hell? And how did you end up there?    

Warning: death, hell, mentions of religion, language, smut ish, its fucking long lol, i love brendon urie

A/N: do not repost any work on this blog without explicit permission from me or Alissa. also, in case anyone is curious, I’m an atheist. I also gave a birthday for y/n because it already had a lot of insert shit. and note my not so subtle allusion to tom holland and harrison osterfield.

Part 1// Part 2//Part 3// Part 4// Part 5// Part 6// Part 7// Part 8// Part 9// Part 10

You and Tyler finally reached the floor you were staying on, the penthouse of the apartment building. The living room was very large and open, the carpet almost too white to be possible. All of the furniture was golden yellow, including the appliances in the open plan kitchen. There were two giant doors on either side of the living room, and on the farthest side from the door, there was an entire wall of glass. There was an extravagant chandelier hanging overhead, casting a yellow light on the room.  

"Wow," you muttered, looking around the apartment.  

"Pete definitely helped fix up the place," Tyler said in awe, he had never seen such a beautiful room in Hell. You walked further into the room before taking a seat on the lavish gold couch. “He always was good at interior design.”

"I guess we should get comfortable, we could stay for a while," you said, "and you can fill me in on some of that 'need to know' crap."

"What do you mean?" Tyler asked, taking a spot on the couch across from where you sat. He obviously knew what you were talking about, he wasn't stupid. He knew you wanted history, and possibly an explanation of everything that had happened in the last three days.  

"Where is Josh, and what was he?" You asked, after a beat of silence.  

Tyler's eyes widened and he looked at you in disbelief. How the fuck does she know that? He thought to himself. He took a small breath before formulating a response, "I’m not answering that.”

“So you’re back to keeping secrets?” you asked, “bullshit, Tyler! You know so much about me, tell me what the fuck happened!”

Tyler took a deep breath before sighing, “okay, fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. It started after that car accident I told you about, and after I made it through every circle.”

-

Tyler walked back into the club, the music only adding to his head ache. He had to cut through the dance floor to reach Brendon, the man sitting alone at the far end of the room. His white shoes and coat were covered in blood, but somehow that wasn’t the worst thing in the dance floor of the club.

“Ah! Tyler, my boy, it’s so nice to see you! Did you do as I asked?” Brendon greeted when he reached the table.  

“And then some,” Tyler answered, taking a seat across from the man in a plush, red booth.  

“I knew you could do it, I fucking hate politicians,” he said, sly smirk on his face, “now, I have one more job for you, then you’re home free for a few weeks.”  

“Yeah?”

“Your partner already knows all the details, he should be getting here about now,” Brendon said, “oh, look! There he is! Over here!” Brendon waved a man with yellow hair poking out from a hoodie walked over, the hood covering most of his face, but it was obvious he had a sly smile on his face, and a blade sticking out from under the waistband of the hoodie. He sat down next to Tyler and he took his hood off of the top of his head and showed his face.

“Josh?”

“Hi, Tyler,” Josh greeted. His smile wasn't the same as it used to be. Brendon seemed to be doting on Josh, bragging about his reinstatement and his natural skill that Tyler could tell was definitely not as natural as they were making it seem.  

A woman walked up to Brendon, a smile on her face, “Hey, baby. Is this them?”  

Brendon nodded, holding his arm out to lead the woman into his lap, “Gentlemen, this is my wife, Azrael.” Josh nodded in her direction and didn’t look her in the eyes, and Tyler said a small hi. “Azrael, this is Josh and Tyler.”  

“Ah, we’ve been waiting for you both.”

-

“Can I finish tomorrow, I’m tired,” Tyler interrupted his own story and scratched his head, not bothering to hide his yawn, “I promise, I’ll finish it in the morning.”

“It’s only seven o’clock, Tyler,” you complained, “at least tell me what the job was.”

“Then I can go to sleep?”

“yes,” you whine.  

“To take care of the overcrowding in Libitina.” You looked at him expectedly, waiting for him to further explain. But he was already laying back on the couch and pulling his hood over his head.  

Cool, leave me hanging... again.  

So you left the room, and went to bed.

-

You knew you were asleep, but you weren’t in the same spot Brendon first visited you at. You were at the entrance of a cemetery that you recognized as a very famous one in LA. You had visited it once or twice to see some famous graves.

“This is where I was buried,” a voice said. You turned and saw Brendon standing next to you with a blunt in his mouth and a black suit, as opposed to the red one you saw last time.  

“Really?”

“No, I was actually buried in Las Vegas,” he stated with a chuckle. Suddenly the scene in front of you was blurry and you were in front of another cemetery, not recognizing the entrance. “oh, I’m right over here.”

“So you’re basically the ghost of Christmas past?  

He chuckled, but didn’t say anything, only led you down a small trail and in front of a shiny, granite headstone. He took a long drag from his blunt and blew it toward the grave, somehow it felt like a sign of respect.

Brendon Boyd Urie

April 12, 1973- October 28, 1994

Loving Husband, Son, and Singer  

“My wife, well his wife, changes my headstone if it ever erodes too much,” he stated, “she is on the fast track to heaven, so I won’t get to see her. She’s the one that found me, after I dropped like a fly.”  

“Are all couples like that?” you asked, “one gets sent to hell and the other somehow never goes?”

“No, only the people you’ve met so far, sometimes both get sent to hell and they live out torture together, or they go to heaven,” Brendon explained, “And then there are the people who both go to purgatory and have a blast trying to get to heaven together. It’s like the ultimate team building exercise.” Brendon sat down at the feet of his grave, knowing that his body was decayed right under him.  

“How did you die?”

“Rock star lifestyle,” he sighed, “I was a bit of a partier, and one day I got involved in the wrong shit and my body couldn’t take it.” He turned to a random stone and put out the blunt, leaving it still sort of smoldering as he backed away.

The scenery changed once again, Brendon sat in front of you this time on a headstone, “You probably don’t recognize this place, but we’re in Ohio.” Brendon moved from the headstone and showed you the name on it.

Tyler Robert Joseph

December 1, 1987- June 5, 2007

Gone too soon. God bless his soul.

“He was never blessed,” Brendon laughed, “it’s a sick irony of dying, these people don’t know we’re down there, don’t know that most of the people don’t stand a chance.”

You looked at Brendon, his eyes clouded in something you hadn’t thought would be there, ever.  

Regret.  

“Brendon,” you started, “what happens when hell gets too crowded?” He whipped his head to look at you, surprised by the question. “And please be honest, I’m tired of people fucking lying to me down here.”

“If they have improved over time, they have a shot to get into purgatory,” he stated, “and if they do something horrible, even for Hell, the get sent to a place called Libitina. It’s like a prison for the damned to stay and rot.”

“What qualifies as that bad?”  

“Not a lot, sweetheart,” he said shortly, “we have one more stop, then you can ask all the questions you want.”

The scenery changed for a final time and you recognized immediately where you were. You wrote in your will that you wanted to be buried in a cemetery in London next to Tom. Brendon led you to the two fresh grave, grass not even grown on the patch of dirt the headstones were on.  

(Y/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N)

October 5, 1997- January 22, 2023

Forever resting with the love of her life

Thomas James Hosterfeld

June 1, 1996- January 22, 2023

Forever resting with the love of his life

“You got your wishes,” Brendon said, “you didn’t end up with him as your families had hoped, but I’ll tell you that he is on the third tier of Purgatory.”

“I’m glad, if anything, he deserves it,” you sighed. There was a silence between you and Brendon, and you took the moment to sit sown in the grass of the cemetery. Brendon let out a quiet chuckle and sat next to you, playing with the grass below his fingers. He took out another blunt and lit it up before inhaling the smoke.  

“Want a hit?” he asked. You shook your head, waving it away.

“Is this all? You’re gonna leave me to talk to Tyler?” you asked, lowly, “all he ever does is lie to me. He never tells me anything.”  

“Well, Tyler lies about a lot of things,” Brendon sighed, “he doesn’t like letting people in. But that’s his story to tell. It hasn’t always been in his favour.”

“Do you let people in?”

“If they let me in,” he answered. You looked over at him and saw him looking back at you. He leans forward and catches your lips in his, giving you a sweet yet hungry kiss. He was more tender than Tyler, taking his time to savour everything about your lips.  

He trailed his kisses down your neck, quickly finding your sweet spot on your neck. You let out a moan as he nibbled on your neck, rolling your head to the side to give him more access.  

“You’re killing me, sweetheart,” he said in your ear before biting lightly on your ear lobe.  

“How so?” you asked, cutting it off slightly with a moan as he attacked the collar bone peaking out from under your shirt.  

“I see everything, you and Tyler, the kissing, cuddling, and I hate seeing him touch you,” he said, moving his head to look you in the eye, “not when we keep having these times together at night, and he’s got you all to himself every day.”

“Then I’ll stop,” you said, “now touch me before I have to wake up and look him in the eye.” He laughed lowly, a cocky smirk appearing on his face.

“Sweetheart, you know I control these dreams. I can make them as long as I need,” he said. He reached for your hips and guided you to sit in his lap, his bulge evident as you ground down on him, “I can feel you soaking through those jeans, darling.”

“Then do something about it,” you groaned. You leaned in and nibbled just under his jawline, “do hickeys show when we wake up?”

“If you want them to, kitten,” he answered, rolling his head to the side to show more real estate as you sucked a hickey into his neck.  

“Good, wanna show everyone what I did,” you moan, grinding down harder on his dress pant clad cock. Brendon’s hand wandered down into your pants, and moved your underwear out of the way to feel your wetness. You moaned when his fingers brushed over your clit.

“So wet, from just kissing your pretty neck,” he said cockily, sliding his fingers into you and pumping slowly, watching you writhe on top of him. You groaned, and reached down to unbutton your pants and pushed them down as far as you could. Brendon noticed your struggle and pushed you down so you were laying on the ground under him.  

“be patient, my sweet girl, we have all the time in the world.”  

-

You laid with Brendon in the grass, your head laying in his chest. He put back on his pants and boxers, but let you have his shirt and jacket to cover yourself after he ripped your shirt.  

“Now I have to wake up without you there,” you said, tracing circles on his chest lightly, “what am I gonna say to Tyler?”

“You don’t have to say shit to him, sweetheart,” his chest rumbled as he spoke, “sure, you’ll wake up with my suit jacket and shirt on, but I set up that penthouse just for you. Say you found it in one of the drawers.”

“I’m covered in hickeys, Brendon,” you giggled.  

“you fell off the bed, you’re clumsy,” he laughed. You giggled and poked his chest with your nail.  

“Is it always gonna be like this when we reach you? Is that why you want me?” you asked.  

“It can be whatever you want and more, baby,” he said. He started sit up, holding you so you didn’t get hurt somehow. “It’s time to wake up now, babe.”

“But I want to stay here, with you,” you whined.  

“I know, but the sooner you wake up, the sooner you head out and you can see me at my club,” he said. He leaned down to kiss you before he stood up. Everything around you dissipated as he stretched his limbs.

“Will I see you again, next time?” you ask him as the wind picks up.  

“Of course, baby,” he said, turning around and kneeling to meet your eyes, “and remember, Tyler doesn’t touch you anymore, my lips are the only ones that can be on you.”  

“Bye, Brendon.”

-

You woke up in the big soft bed of the penthouse apartment, having a new appreciation for the soft sheets under your body and bunched in your hands.  

You swung your feet over the edge of the bed and stood to look at yourself in the mirror that was on the closet of the room. You were, indeed, in Brendon’s suit jacket and red button up, but it didn’t look too bad on you.  

In fact, you thought it was kind of cute.  

You made your way out of the room and saw Tyler sprawled out on the couch, snoring lightly. You walked over and poked him in the face, “Tyler, wake up.” You attempted one more time before turning on your heel and taking the first big thing near you, a metal abstract sculpture of a human, and dropping it on the floor. Tyler jumped awake and you looked at him innocently.  

“What the fuck?”

“Finish the story, no breakfast until then,” you stated. You sat on one of the couches and looked at him expectantly.  

“Alright, well, Azrael told us they were expecting us.”

-

“You two are going to Libitina to eradicate these people,” Brendon stopped paying attention to Azrael long enough to slide a manila folder over to the boys across from him, “then do what you want. But I want my blades back when you’re done.” Brendon went back to brushing his fingers through her hair lovingly, whispering sweet nothings into her ear, and kissing her neck.

“Obviously,” Tyler said, but Josh had a look on his face that made him uncomfortable. Something told him that he would be getting into trouble like he used to when they were alive and Josh wanted to go do something crazy.

-

“Then one thing led to another, and Josh started a rebellion that lasted half of a decade,” Tyler explained, “he was a hell hound in a humans body. The pure personification of evil, worse than that of the devil. He wanted to overthrow Satan and free all of the Damned into earth, heaven, and purgatory.”

“Is that all?” you asked, “Where is he now?”

“Libitina.”

“The place all the bad, bad people go?” Tyler never answered. He got up and went to take a shower, not before turning to you.  

“Want to come with me?” He held a hand out for you to take.

You thought for a second, knowing you promised Brendon that you would not start anything with Tyler. But it was Tyler, the man who was leading you through hell for nothing but pride, and had suffered so much. He opened up to you, even if it was poco a poco. So, you nodded with a broad smile and took his hand, letting him lead you to the big shower.  

-

You hardly expected to be reaching the most beautiful circle of hell. You didn’t know that there was such a thing. But, you and Tyler walked down a long gravel path with green grass on either side, a large creek came into view with a man leaning against the post of a magnificent bridge of dark wood and golden railings on either side. The man was shorter than the bridge and had a black hoodie that you swore was Thrasher brand.  

Hm, didn’t know they had brands in hell.

When you approached the man, you noticed that his body was covered from head to toe, including his hands, which were tucked comfortably into his pockets, and he had two feathered wings on his back, tucked so close together and compact, it was almost like he was hiding them from you.  

"That's Pete, he's a harpy," Tyler explained, looking toward the man expectantly, "He's probably here to help us through the rings of Violence."

He didn’t seem to be paying attention to you as you and Tyler walked up, his head parallel with the ground, not letting you see his face. When he finally heard your footsteps, he looked up, sending shivers down your spine with his yellow eyes. When he saw you, he stood up taller and rolled his shoulders out before putting his hands together and dropping them in front of him. A stark contrast from the red-scale eyes you had seen so far. When you took a closer look, you saw small tufts of feathers poking out of the bottom of the hood.  

"Hey," he greeted, looking between you and Tyler, and after a beat of silence, stuck his hand out to introduce himself, "I'm Pete, guardian of Violence. It's nice to finally meet you, my lady."

Tyler's eyes widened and he cleared his throat, hoping you wouldn’t notice his formality, "This is (Y/N), Pete. She's the girl Brendon wants."

Pete's expression matched Tyler's as he realized his mistake, "Oh, my bad. Thought you were someone else." He scratched the back of his head awkwardly and waited for Tyler to reprimand him like he used to, but nothing ever came.  

"We should get walking now, we have three rings to get through at one time," Tyler said. Pete nodded and turned on his heel, leading you across the bridge. The bridge was way longer than you expected, but it the shortest ring of Violence, so you couldn’t complain about the creaking below your feet as you walked. One you had looked down, you saw creatures swimming up and down, and a large one that looked very scary. "That's Leviathan, he doesn’t like Acheron, so he stays here," Tyler explained.

"Oh cool, another hell creature I have to know about," you said, sarcastically, "what next, are there hellhounds?"

"Oh, they're in the circle Brendon occupies," Pete answered from ahead of you two, "He made them cuter."

-

You all walked in silence for what seemed like ages, walking across this bridge seemed easier than going through the other rings, but you knew it was too good to last. It was hell, after all. Tyler seemed to be walking on eggshells, any splashing spooked him, he refused to look up at Pete or at you and walked so cautiously that it seemed like he wasn’t even on the bridge with you. He seemed to be off in his own world.

Your mind, however, had started to wander. You thought about your life, trying to figure out what you did that sent you down here on this... adventure?

-

"You really shouldn’t do this, (Y/N)," Harrison said, "You love Tom, how do you think he'll react when he finds out?"

"It's just a girl, he won't care," you reasoned, looking up at Harrison with glassy eyes, your speech slightly slurred, "He has a girlfriend, if anything he should be thrilled! I'm finally getting some and forgetting about him!"

"There's a difference between forgetting about him and moving on,” Harrison muttered, “come on, (Y/N), let’s just go home and watch x-files.” He reached for your hand, but you pulled it away from him quickly and blew him off, claiming you were a big girl and you could take care of yourself.  

“I’ll be fine, Harrison,” you slurred, giggling at something in your head as a girl reached for you, equally as drunk, and started to drag you away, “I’ll see you tomorrow, baby! Don’t wait up! Get some while you’re here.”  

-

“(y/n), stop daydreaming,” Tyler said, breaking you out of your trance like state. You didn’t realize you were at the end of the bridge, and, in addition, the end of the first ring in violence. You looked ahead and saw, finally, the true reason the ring was called violence. There were people, the damned, running around picking raspberries as harpies flew over their heads, talons out, picking people up, clawing at their faces and hands.  

Pete didn’t stop, he continued to lead you toward a ginormous building, completely ignoring the pleads of mercy all around you. You kept your eyes down, looking at the path under your feet.  

When you looked up, finally, you saw the entrance to the building.  

“Libitina, in all her glory,” Pete said, his voice bored. The doors were already open, and it looked like someone forced it open.  

“Is it… supposed to look like that?” you asked. Tyler nodded, looking reminiscent.  

“A long time ago, someone broke out through the doors and Brendon never bothered to fix them,” he said. Suddenly, sirens rang through the air and both Pete and Tyler stood up straight, “now, that isn’t supposed to happen.”  

The boys charged in, leaving you at the door with a shocked expression. You had a feeling that you’d need to use Eveningstar. You ran in after them, but the place was far too big and you found yourself at the wrong place at the wrong time. You got lost in the winding halls, listening out for voices, but they were all drowned out by the piercing siren.

You were pulled into someone’s chest and a knife was held to your throat. A silver handle was held by a tan hand and you knew. Morningstar.  

“I suggest you keep that pretty little mouth shut, unless you want to disappear,” a gravelly voice said in your ear. He turned you toward two forms, Pete and Tyler. They writhed in their spots, trying to move but they couldn’t.

“How did this happen so fast?” Pete groaned.  

“revenge makes the damned powerful, Peter,” the man behind you laughed, “especially when the bitch that put me here is near.”

“What?” you asked.  

“Shut up, Muriel!” the man spoke.  

“That’s not Muriel, Joshua!” Tyler yelled, “Muriel would know better than to come back.”  

“Then why are you guarding her, who is she?” Josh said, ending with a laugh. He truly thought you were this Muriel person.

Angel. Demon. Whatever.  

Your mind reeled. Why would he thing you’re Muriel? Joshua held the blade harder against your throat, leaving you to gasp for breath without letting it cut into the skin. Joshua looked down at you, his gaze clouded with pain and loss, and when you locked eyes, he seemed thrown off. The sharpness of the blade eased up as he was sent into a whirlwind of old emotions.  

"(y/n)! Do you remember the view? Remember what you said when we looked out of Joe's window together?" Tyler said from his spot, locked in place. He couldn’t move his legs to reach you. Josh must have been practicing his biokinesis after all these years. You knew exactly what he was talking about. Azrael's blade was digging into your side in this compromising position.

"I said that you almost forget we're in hell for all eternity," you answered in a weak voice. You slid one of your hands away from the hand holding a knife to your throat and down your side to the shadow-casted blade. You unsheathed it and moved it from your side to slightly poke Josh's, "We were so enthralled, we didn’t hear Joe enter the room."

How did you know how to stab Josh with this blade without killing him?

You stabbed the knife into his side and felt the blade on your neck ease up. But, you moved too quickly and the blade dug into your neck and cut you. You fell on your side, landing next to Josh, facing him.  

Both you and Josh passed out. Tyler finally broke free and ran to you, pulling your body into his lap.

“No!”

-

“Hello, Gabriel,” you greeted the angel, smiling gently at him as he brought you in for a hug, “I missed you.” Brendon had crossed arms, watching you and his brother interact with each other. He never knew he could be the jealous type.

“I missed you too, Azrael,” Gabriel squeezed you tight before the hug ended and pulled away.  

“What’s this about you not taking the mistakes from limbo to purgatory?”  

“I was hoping you wouldn’t ask that,” he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “Dad is being a pain lately, and forcing us to kill off forgotten souls.” Brendon rolled his eyes, of course his father would do that, he was never the most considerate ruler.  

You shook your head. Of course, he was trying to do that. Hell was starting to get crowded, you could only imagine what it looked like in purgatory and heaven.  

“More people are going to hell than ever, heaven isn’t even that full,” Gabriel explained, “We’re filtering all the people we can into heaven from purgatory but they’re moving slower than ever.”  

“I suppose this is means for revolution again?” you sighed. The last time there was a revolution in hell and purgatory, your son had died in the hands of your brother, Muriel. You could never be really mad at Muriel, he was doing what he thought was right, but now more than ever, you missed your dear Josh.  

“How? Last time I took care of all the revolutionists last time,” Brendon spoke up, taking your hand after he saw your face fall. Gabriel shrugged.

“There are two new souls coming, and one of them is going to start a revolution,” Gabriel looked you in the eyes, his golden orbs reassuring. However, it wasn’t reassuring enough, “One of them is Joshua.”

-

You groaned at the red light shining above your head.  

“What the fuck happened?” you asked. Tyler and Pete were sitting, having just seen exactly what happened. You looked down at your body, you were wearing the same red dress you saw in your dream.  

Nightmare? No, definitely not a nightmare.  

Memory.  

Josh came too soon after, looking at you with a hopeful sparkle in his eyes. It was quickly gone, however, when he realized it was no longer a dream.  

“Lady Azrael,” Pete said, moving to kneel.  

“I didn’t believe Brendon when he said it was you,” Tyler muttered.  

You stood up, a little unsteady on your bare feet, as opposed to shoes you were wearing, on the rough concrete. You stepped toward Josh, who was holding his side with on hand, and holding Morningstar in the other. You reached down and took your blade.  

Huh, maybe it did belong to you.

“You never know who you’re threatening,” you said. This act was coming so natural.  

“Go ahead. Finish me off, wipe me from existence,” Josh said, barely able to speak now, “you have to know that these wounds don’t heal.”  

You did know. Somehow. Maybe Azrael was telling you, deep down. But she was also begging you to not take her son, your son, away again. The pain was too much.

“I’m not going to finish you off, Joshua,” you said, squatting down to take both blades, the one in his hand and the one in his side, away from him, “I’m going to take this blade out of your side, and I'll heal you.”

“Why?”  

“What kind of mother would I be to leave my son lying, in pain.”

[doomonfilm]

Thoughts : Starship Troopers (1997)

For years, I used to shoot down any notion that Starship Troopers was a classic movie.  Many, many of my friends with excellent taste in movies attempted to persuade me otherwise, and like I fool, I didn’t listen.  After hearing lots of critical evaluation of the film, particularly that of Rob Ager, I realized something : I failed to see the movie for what it really was.  I had been taking the movie at face value, and for that reason alone, I failed to see the genius of it, but all that has changed now.

It’s the 23rd century, and Johnny Rico (Casper Van Dien) is a young man in love with Carmen Ibanez (Denise Richards), a fellow student with aspirations to be a pilot in the Federation.  The armed force was created to defend Earth against Arachnids (or Bugs, as they’re commonly referred to), a threat that has emerged as a response to Earth’s explorations and colonization of space.  Many of Carmen and Rico’s fellow students have become Citizens (members of the Federation) in hopes of gaining rights and proving themselves to their peers, and Carmen’s journey to become a pilot, in combination with her obviously developing feelings for fellow pilot candidate Zander Barcalow (Patrick Muldoon), causes Rico to become a Citizen as well, albeit as an infantry member.  Rico quickly ascends to become squad leader, but an unfortunate call during a live round exercise results in the death of a fellow squad member.  Career Sgt. Zim (Clancy Brown) stands up for Rico, who is publicly punished, but despite this, Rico decides the Federation is not for him.  With one foot out the door, however, tragedy strikes in the form of a Bug invasion, resulting in the deaths of Rico’s parents, friends and former residents of the annihilated Buenos Aires, where Rico is from.  With no home to go to, and a newly found desire for revenge, Rico rededicates himself to the Federation, now at war with the Bugs.

The American military has always had a way of subtly dehumanizing the enemy in order to gain popular favor for conflict, and Starship Troopers certainly embodies that idea by literally making the enemy Bugs.  With the military being such a key element of their society, it must be sustained with no end in sight in order to thrive, and this dehumanization of enemies allows that sustainability.  Furthermore, designating non-military as ‘civilians’ and military as ‘citizens’ continues to drive that idea home, as anyone who thrives any stature is almost forced to join for access to what seem like inalienable rights.  This wouldn’t be an issue if the military had a fixed set of morals and goals, but as they learn more about the enemy, the culture shifts, which causes a sort of schizophrenic nature among the ranks as those deemed unimportant suddenly have value.  All of these elements, as well as the zealotry found in those who partake and support in the military, completely demonstrate the concept of the ‘fog of war’.

As previously mentioned, my prior interactions with this movie found me taking it very literally and at face value, as if they were going for a proper science fiction film that checks all the boxes.  It took learning about the director and his intentions with the film, however, to finally understand the genius levels of satire and commentary found within the frames of Starship Troopers.  In terms of satire, it is a complete send-up of both space and war movies, leaning heavily into the tropes found in those genres and using them to propel characters towards (mostly) tragedy.  In terms of commentary, its stance taken on the military is a scathing one.  The film does not hold back when turning the microscope towards the effect it has on families and relationships (both romantic and otherwise).  The fact that ‘administrative punishment’ is still used in such a technologically advanced society is also a bit of a dig at how the military ‘forms’ career soldiers (or, if you base their role on the punishment given to them, ‘slaves’). 

For a film made in the 1990s, the special effects hold up surprisingly well, especially the aliens.  A solid integration of internet and news media-style presentation seemed to be a glimpse into the future of what communication would eventually evolve into.  Despite the film’s lighter tone at times, the violence is incredibly hyper-realistic, both in casual and combat scenes, which helps create a sense of danger and high-stakes in what would otherwise be a dark comedy.  With all going on in the writing, the ability to have Rico as the center of both a love triangle and a separate unrequited, doomed romance still worked incredibly and surprisingly well.

Casper Van Dien manages to make his character pitiful enough in the beginning that his eventual transformation into a career military man is both jarring and equally convincing.  Dina Meyer and her singular parallel focus on becoming military and winning Rico’s heart makes her short-lived victory on both fronts incredibly heartbreaking.  Denise Richards plays enough of a tease to make you care for Rico, but is self-driven enough for us to not completely dismiss her character.  Jake Busey brings a much needed sense of levity and a character that the audience can easily relate to.  Neil Patrick Harris managed to break himself out of his child star shell with this role, playing young enough for his high ranking to fall into a sort of mental uncanny valley territory.  Patrick Muldoon provides a solid foundation for the main love triangle to be formed upon, with his smugness and arrogance being the characteristics that drive him.  Patrick Muldoon, Clancy Brown, and Michael Ironside are all perfectly cast as military leaders.  Seth Gilliam turns in a memorable performance early in his career as a standout member of the Roughnecks.  Amy Smart, Rue McClanahan and Brenda Strong also make memorable appearances.

Films like Starship Troopers continually remind me how good art can subvert expectations, as well as remind me how much time can change our personal perspectives.  For as much as I love Robocop and consider it to be top-tier Paul Verhoeven work, I think I can safely say I’ve been converted to the camp that considers Starship Troopers a grossly underrated cult classic. 

[johnnymundano]

First Reformed (2018)

Directed by Paul Schrader

Written by Paul Schrader

Music by Lustmord

Country: United States

Language: English

Running Time: 113 minutes

CAST

Ethan Hawke as Pastor Ernst Toller

Amanda Seyfried as Mary Mensana

Cedric Kyles as Pastor Joel Jeffers

Victoria Hill as Esther

Philip Ettinger as Michael Mensana

Michael Gaston as Edward Balq

Bill Hoag as John Elder

(Confession: All images stolen from the Internet. We’re all going to hell anyway.)

In which Paul Schrader, a man whose last movie I bought from a pound shop makes a movie with goofy Ethan Hawke as a sad vicar and…it’s my favourite movie of 2018? Damn straight it is, Poncho. In First Reformed Paul Schrader creates a gloriously stark and sedately paced meditation on the question, how can we survive in the face of despair?

First of all, the Ethan in the room. Ethan Hawke. He’s okay, right? Never a chore to watch, but hardly a heavy hitter. A pleasant enough addition to any cast. Well, that was before First Reformed. First Reformed is movie about revelation and Ethan Hawke’s Ernst Toller(1) surely is a revelation. Toller, predictably enough, is the umpteenth iteration of Schrader’s evolving portrait of (Thomas Mann’s) God’s Lonely Man, and, like the Whitman said, he is large, he contains multitudes; he is the refined essence of all the God’s Lonely Men who came before him. Given Hawke’s predecessors in this ever mutating role include such titans of thesping as Robert De Niro, Willem Dafoe, George C. Scott and Richard Gere, the fact that his (Ethan Hawke’s!) performance can lounge comfortably amongst them is perhaps the biggest surprise in First Reformed. Appropriately enough, watching Hawke as Toller you will feel the scales fall from your eyes; Ethan Hawke (Ethan Hawke!) is not a lightweight screen presence, he is, in fact, an actor of the top tier. It helps that in First Reformed he’s given top tier material by a true auteur going at it like he’ll never get to go at it again. First Reformed is Schrader at the top of his mature game, exerting an iron control over material driven by an icy rage. And Hawke (Ethan Hawke!) is more than equal to the task. The boy done good.

1) A toller is defined as “a person who rings church bells (as for summoning the congregation) bell ringer, ringer. signaler, signaller - someone who communicates by signals.” There is some irony here as Toller’s congregation is small, but he definitely communicates via signals, particularly so at the close of the movie. Oh yes, particularly then.)

Everyone else has to act in Hawke’s daunting shadow, so it is absolutely to their credit that they still shine so brightly, so fiercely.  I doubt many people other than his immediate family thought that Cedric the Entertainer could portray such a smoothly venal and slyly manipulative Pastor, while still appearing wholly human and relatable. (Mind you, Brummy funnyman Lenny Henry made a creditable Othello, so who the hell knows?) Michael Gaston is great as Edward Balq (2), the bad businessman who ambushes Toller over apple pie and thinks maybe it’s God’s plan to fuck up the world for cash. And he’s no one dimensional greedy meanie either, he is part of Schrader’s dramatisation of humanity’s struggle with The Bible’s (typically) contradictory command to both tame the world and also to preserve it. The abysmal weight of the latter burden falls on Philip Ettinger, as Michael Mensana (3). Ettinger is worryingly convincing as a man who clearly can no longer control his own mind. This tortured soul is desperately using his last scraps of rapidly fleeing reason to prevent himself from doing an unforgivable thing; either via the humane intervention of Toller or via other, more drastic measures. Amanda Seyfried is harrowingly vulnerable as Michael’s wife, Mary Mensana (4), but she also brings the core of steel essential for survival in the fallen world, a core which her husband, Michael, fatally lacks.  

2) “Balq” is a phonetic ringer for “balk” i.e. to hesitate or be unwilling to accept an idea or undertaking.

3) Mensana alludes to “mens sana”, the Latin for “healthy mind”; it is used ironically for Michael. His mind is unhealthy.

4) Mens sana is used literally in the case of Mary. She also deserves its use in the wider sense; Mary embodies Juvenal’s phrase “mens sana in corpore sano”. She is “a healthy mind in a healthy body”. Her pregnancy is a sign of health and hope. Also, she’s called “Mary” and is pregnant in a movie thrumming with religious tones both over and under; I don’t think we need Sherlock Holmes to puzzle that one out for us.

Things are being said in First Reformed. Things weightier than “Tom Cruise can save the world without chipping a nail” or “uptight businesswomen need to unclench so wacky men can love them”. All true and valuable lessons, no doubt, but they aren’t what’s being said in First Reformed. Of course, something is usually being said in a Paul Schrader movie. That’s the way Paul Schrader rolls; like the thunder. Paul Schrader has been knocking about movies for what, five decades now? Since 1974 anyway, when The Yakuza was filmed by Sydney Pollack from a script by Schrader and his brother, Leonard. It was a good start; an entertaining geriatric action movie, involving an aged Robert Mitchum steamrollering his way through the Yakuza, while delicately pining for his war-time love. A little bit of playing in the Hitchcock sandbox aside (Obsession, Dir. Brian De Palma, 1979), this potent fuel of meditative violence would form the core of Schrader’s early offerings, with Rolling Thunder (dir. John Flynn, 1977) and, particularly, Taxi Driver (Dir. Martin Scorsese, 1976) refining the approach. Movies like Blue Collar (1978) and Hardcore (1979) also displayed Schrader’s interest in alienation, guilt, dehumanisation, guilt, sexuality and spiritual inquiry. And guilt. Sure, such themes were certainly less immediately arresting than hook handed ‘Nam vets and tonto taxi drivers, but with American Gigolo (1980) Schrader successfully intertwined all his major themes, high and low, into his first critical and commercial career maker of a knockout. That same year saw the release of the Schrader scripted Raging Bull (dir. Martin Scorsese). Top o’ the world, ma, in effect.

There then followed the ‘80s and, for Schrader, what appeared to be a “kid in a candy store” phase.  (Legal note: no one said “nose candy”) Given the freedom Hollywood success bestows, Schrader  indulged his more personal fascinations via his own scripts and those of others. Schrader having more going on upstairs than most in La La Land, this led to mixed results; his study of the celebrated Japanese author and coup instigator Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters (1985) clearly being of more artistic value than his study of Nastassja Kinski’s bare arse in his remake of Cat People (1982). But I have watched the latter far more than the former, so who am I to judge? Somewhere in this wayward and invigoratingly fun period is a movie about kidnapped heiress Patty Hearst (1988) and an adaptation of Paul Theroux’s Mosquito Coast (Dir. Peter Weir, 1986). And I’m pretty sure few filmographies contain a musical starring Michael J. Fox and Joan Jett (Light of Day, 1987) and a Jesus movie which managed to upset various touchy Christian groups, including that of his own father (The Last Temptation of Christ, Dir. Martin Scorsese, 1988). A real cinematic fruit basket; lots of fun, something for everyone.

But after the party comes the hangover, alas, and the early ‘90s for our fascinating firebrand seemed somewhat listless and directionless. At best. Schrader working with Harold Pinter sounds dauntingly awesome, especially with Christopher Walken and Helen Mirren on board, but the result was a stodgy Europudding adaptation of Ian McEwan’s The Comfort of Strangers (1990). (Walken is amazing in it though, true.) Then in 1992 there came Light Sleeper, a perfectly fine movie, a pretty damn good movie in fact; if you ignore that it’s basically American Gigolo for drug dealers, with a soupcon of a last act shootout for Taxi Driver/Rolling Thunder flavour. It’s probably Schrader’s best ‘90s movie because it magpies from all his earlier, good movies.  A TV movie starring Dennis Hopper which used fear of witchcraft as a metaphor for the ‘50s Communist scare (Witch Hunt, 1994) sounds…interesting. (I haven’t seen it.) And the lean period sputtered out with a script contribution to City Hall (Dir. Harold Becker, 1996), a movie which despite a class pedigree stubbornly refused to ignite. No period in Schrader’s filmography is a total loss, but there was a clear lack of  artistic traction in those six years.

Maybe even Schrader noticed, because in 1997 his work flowered anew with the release of both Touch and Affliction. As if invigorated by the source works, Schrader produced one of the best ever Elmore Leonard adaptations (an even greater achievement given the atypical nature of Touch. Christopher Walken is excellent in it, obviously), and an appropriately despairing staging of Russel Banks’ grim novel of dysfunctional families and DIY dentistry. As to the latter it would be lax to fail to state how incredible James Coburn is as The Awful Father. I’ve never seen Forever Mine (1999), so for me Schrader’s ‘90s closed on a high with the adaptation of Joe Connelly’s Bringing Out the Dead (Dir. Martin Scorsese, 1999). A fine high-octane night-in-the-life-of-a-paramedic parable featuring a lively cast kicking out the jams; all led by a truly great Nicolas Cage before his fall, before his face started adorning novelty sequin cushions.

In 2002, with Autofocus (from Robert Graysmith's book “The Murder of Bob Crane”) Schrader went back to the well of morality and debauchery he had been lightly dipping into throughout his career, and this time chucked the bucket in further than he had since Hardcore, drawing up a weighty, but darkly comic, look at the corrupting influence of images. Pretty ballsy for a man who trades in the things. It was a great start to the 2000s, so obviously it immediately turned to shit. So shit in fact most of the movies from this period appeared without my noticing, were difficult to source, or were disowned by Schrader himself. Not exactly Paul Schrader: The Glory Years. A 2005 Exorcist prequel was yanked off him by the studio and re-edited and re-shot under Renny Harlin. The Walker (2007), was really good with Woody Harrelson as a gay “professional companion” to older women accidentally uncovering Washington corruption; a kind of Light Sleeper for gay consorts. A really good movie, but nobody noticed. In 2008 Adam Resurrected occurred without my noticing, as did The Canyons (2013). In 2014 I did notice The Dying of the Light was taken off Schrader and re-edited by the studio so, without wishing to cause offence:  **** that one. And this is where we came in...last year I picked up Dog Eat Dog (2016) on Blu-Ray in a Pound Shop; it was…very energetic, very hectic; a post fall Nic Cage and a never-even-stumbled-once Willem Dafoe were obviously having fun. I kind of dug it in a weird way, but Schrader definitely looked like his best days were behind him. Then I heard he was doing a movie with Ethan ****ing Hawke as a sad vicar or something. Hoo boy.

HOO BOY! indeed. Cover my face with egg and fry it in a pan! Yeah, Paul Schrader made a movie with Ethan Hawke as a sad vicar or something, and it was one of The 3 Movies I Loved in 2018. (The others, obviously, being Mandy and Let The Corpses Tan. I’m sure everyone agrees.) Schrader, the wily bugger had just been playing possum; letting his energies build, fermenting his themes, you know, getting ready to put out some fires with gasoline, as someone sang over the credits to one of his movies once. Filmed in the hypnotically discreet Transcendental Style so dear to his heart First Reformed is the “Paul Schrader movie” par excellence. It’s all been building to this one, kids!

First Reformed is a heartbreaker, a goddamn beautiful heartbreaker of a thing, it moves soft as a breeze and punches you in the heart like LaMotta on meth. The everyday becomes numinously stunning under Schrader’s soporific direction; the mundane is exalted; an indefinable mysticism hums through every scene; every performance is pregnant with the preternatural. Schrader lays his transcendental groundwork so well that when the movie makes a late lurch into magical realism it doesn’t jar, it just feels right; no, it just feels perfect. In First Reformed, terrible, terrible feelings are going on behind ordinary people’s faces; terrible, terrible feelings Schrader’s camera miraculously, tenderly, delicately captures like snow settling on an outstretched tongue. So, no, slow cinema doesn’t have to be boring cinema; only bad cinema is boring cinema. And First Reformed is good cinema. First Reformed is great cinema. First Reformed is Paul Schrader taking back the crown. Turns out everyone else was just keeping it warm.

[charleskenny]

Some Thoughts on Tom & Jerry: The Movie

A new Tom & Jerry live-action/CGI hybrid movie is on the way, but the duo’s initial outing on the silver screen in a feature makes for amusing viewing after almost 30 years.

Tom & Jerry were, of course, born on the big screen. Appearing in a raft of shorts for Metro-Goldwyn-Meyer (MGM) in the nineteen forties and fifties. That life in shorts was shared with their Hollywood colleagues who similarly didn’t receive their feature debut for many decades after short films had vanished from cinemas. The timing of this film comes a short time after the release of Who Framed Roger Rabbit! and rode a wave of nostalgia for cartoons from the Golden Era.

I remember seeing it in the cinema at the time and thinking it was a pretty good film. Not a favourite, but enjoyable. Watching it almost thirty years later is an altogether different experience. Not only am I older, but animated filmmaking has changed almost beyond recognition. The film now seems like an curious oddity from a different time.

"You talked!"

Tom & Jerry: The Movie (T&J:TM) faces an uphill battle based on the concept alone. Taking characters beloved for their adventures in short films and stretching them to the amount of time that’s expected of a feature is, well, difficult. Roger Rabbit sidestepped the issue through original lead characters and cameos for everyone else. Tom & Jerry wouldn’t be so lucky.

The producers got around this by simply having the characters talk. Now in fairness, they had a lot less dialogue than I remembered and to the producer’s credit, it is a restrained amount all things being considered. Any dialogue however, was going to break a fundamental feature of the original shorts who’s genius was that they dispensed with all dialogue aside from Tom’s occasional yells. So one wonders if that sinks the ship before it’s even left the shipyard and to a certain extent it does.

That being said, it’s necessary to consider everything in context. This film was released in 1992/3 when animated films were stuck in a rut of sorts. Disney’s renaissance was well under way, but the reasons were not yet so obviously unique to that company. Independent animated features instead copied one of the more noticeable traits by going the musical route. T&J:TM exemplifies this. The songs are not ‘out of place’ per se; they’re just another aspect of the film that yanks the characters further away from their origins.

The story is, what I would consider, pedestrian and aiming towards the formulaic. Tom & Jerry, it was clearly felt, could only carry a film by themselves for so long and thus, Robyn enters the scene and provides the necessary problem the characters need to solve. Orphans must have been trendy in the late 80s and early 90s as films such as Aladdin, and All Dogs go to Heaven attest to.

One facet of the plot is the prominent focus on money and the destructive effects that greed can have. Money drives all the antagonists in various ways in contrast to the themes of friendship and loyalty that drives the protagonists. Interestingly, this theme is all the more potent with recent recessions, COVID, and economic pressures faced by many while those at the top gain ever more.

The animation is OK. That’s about all I can say. The crew clearly aimed for the energy of the original shorts and succeeded for the most part. It’s just that overall quality is clearly second tier but on par for most other animated films that weren’t Disney’s.

Both William Hanna and Joe Barbera were alive when this film was released with the former being a creative consultant. To the filmmakers credit, the degree of loyalty to the original shorts while trying something new is admirable. Later results aren’t as good. A new, live-action/CGI hybrid is on the way, but the duo’s initial outing on the silver screen in a feature makes for amusing viewing after almost 30 years. The odd gag is reused outright, but it’s the ethos that carries through and evolved. The film makes good use of incorporating scenes reminiscent of the shorts into the wider story without making them feel like set pieces.

In the end, what brings the film down is that it was released perhaps half a decade too soon. In hindsight, Toy Story was groundbreaking for far more than its CGI. Conceptually it broke the mold for what animated films should be with its writing, humour, and most importantly, its lack of songs. T&J:TM follows the old mold and it shows. Had the film been released in 1997, we would have seen a different film; perhaps in a good way, perhaps in a bad way. Optimistically, I hope it would have been better and benefited from knowing that Disney’s success was down to more unique factors and that Toy Story showed there was a different path to take.

Conclusion

I don’t hate this film. I don’t love it either, but therein lies the quandary. T&J:TM is stuck between a rock and a hard place. It valiantly tries to take characters who’d never been on screen for more than 8 minutes and make them survive for more than 90. It breaks one of the cardinal rules of said characters not out of choice, but out of necessity. It came out too soon to be able to take a risk, but ended up being too generic to stand out.

With the release of a new film that combines live-action with CGI as a way of bypassing the dialogue dilemma, comparing both films will make for good discussion.

Originally published at https://animationanomaly.com/2021/02/16/some-thoughts-on-tom-jerry-the-movie/

[ledenews]

Barry Christmas: Do the Work, in Sports and in Life

(Writer’s note, in deference to today’s subject, soccer will herewith be referred to as football for the entirety of this piece). There’s something unique about West Liberty women’s football coach Barry Christmas that is hard to put your finger on initially. No, it’s not his Manchester, England-born accent, though when Coach Barry speaks there’s no denying it. It’s also not his love bordering on obsession with football, especially when compared to the pigskin-loving people who live here in the Ohio Valley. Besides, given the fact that Christmas was born in the shadow of the hallowed pitch at Old Trafford, the famous home of the English Premier League’s world-famous team, Manchester United, it was nigh impossible not to get sucked into that world. It’s not that Christmas coaches football; it’s how he coaches football that makes him unique. He’s a bit of an old-school guy, old enough to remember a time before saying one loved playing sports required a designation between actual sports and e-sports. Before he came to America at age 20, football was the all-encompassing force of his youth in England. He played every possible minute. “If I wasn’t playing in structured games or in organized team training sessions, I was playing in pick-up games with friends or hopefully older lads, as that was how you got better,” Christmas said. He also played indoors with his older brother, which led to its share of broken items scattered throughout the house. His every action was to improve his playing ability. As he progressed through youth, high school, city and county leagues (the U.S. equivalent of state-level play), that dedication kept upping his skills. It’s what he expected from himself and it’s what he wants from his players. On a personal level Christmas is a friendly guy and loving family man to his wife and three children. As a coach, he demands excellence and accepts no less than max effort from his players. This is not a coach who will give unearned words of praise to a player going through the motions. He wants you to get better. He wants you to want to get better yourself and act accordingly. That’s why he and his players experience success wherever he goes. At Bethany, he helped the women’s team to its first winning season with a tough defensive strategy that saw the Bison post 18 shutouts during a three-season stretch. He then came to West Liberty to get the University’s program off the ground in 2011. The first year was spent as a club team, and the Hilltoppers took the pitch for their first official collegiate match in 2012. The penchant for defense carried down Route 88. West Liberty posted the second most shutouts in the Mountain East in 2019 and gave up far fewer shots than most of its league counterparts. He has the same philosophy when dealing with the youth level. He works with FC Wheeling as a director of coaching and assists with teams and practices, primarily on the girls’ side. Accordingly, these teams have also experienced success. He’s the type of coach who appreciates players that, when faced with a lack of playing time, take that as a cue to work harder and improve their skills, as opposed to other methods of dealing with such a situation. It’s something he learned growing up in England, so he knows it works.

This FC Wheeling girls' team was coached by Christmas as his daughter was on the team.

You first came to the U.S. in 1997. What brought you here the first time, and growing up in a country as mad about its football as America is about its style of football, was that difference an adjustment for you? And for someone growing up in Manchester, did you take in many matches at Old Trafford between either Man United and Man City or Arsenal? As a fan, what was that experience like, and can you compare it to anything you’ve experienced stateside?

I initially came here for six weeks in the summer working for major league soccer camps. I had begun my coaching qualifications as I got injured in the previous December. The injury was fairly serious, so I wanted to occupy myself with something as I couldn't play. Growing up I was an avid Manchester United fan. When I say that, it was a matter of life and death for me. I went to a few games, but as I was so involved in playing myself, the games clashed most of the time. The atmosphere at the games in England is electric. Even in the lower leagues, the fans are constantly singing through the games and generating the atmosphere. When I came here and experienced sporting events, it was different. The experience is "the match" back home; here in the USA the whole experience is the event, the build-up, the in stadium experience, the seating, the rest rooms, the concessions, the jumbo score board, the side entertainment. It was new to me that the stadium tannoy played music to generate an atmosphere. I will say that since I have been here and returned home, things have developed around "the match" to enhance the experience back in England. I did experience Penguins hockey games here, WVU football games, and Pirates baseball. I enjoyed them but, it was a contrast to the boisterous chanting atmosphere created in football matches.

Barry Christmas poses with his son at Old Trafford, the stadium home to Manchester United.

You went back to work with Northwich Victoria FC as the head of its youth team. How does the structure of club teams in England specifically and the U.K. as a whole compare to the U.S. in terms of structure, skill progression, dedication, and commitment? Have you tried to bring some of that here? Can you compare the quintessential British style of play to what you've experienced while in the U.S.? How does it differ? Does the American game even have what you'd call a definitive style?

When I had the spell back home in 2002 - 2005, I was the head youth team coach for Northwich Victoria (16- 19-year-olds). It was a small professional club. (Tier 5 of the professional level) My role as the coach of that team was to develop the players so they could be offered a contract with the first team. Obviously, on a day-to-day basis we wanted to prepare to win the games we were playing in but, the head coach of the first team wanted to see individual players progress under my guidance to be sufficiently developed to compete in the first team. I loved that role; there was a balance between winning and developing that suited how I wanted to coach. At times players can get lost in the development phase when the only focus is winning. The level Northwich was at meant, we sometimes gained young players released from top clubs (deemed not good enough for that level) and sometimes lost players who had been scouted by top clubs because we had, had a hand in enhancing them to be deemed valuable at a higher level. The competition for places at that level is the main motivational driving factor. Young players are desperate to play professionally, so rarely did we have to work to motivate them. In our youth squad we had 24 players, and for match day we could only dress 16! Parents NEVER came to me to complain about non-selection or playing time as they would have known I would have just released their son! In the flow of the match we could only make three substitutions. So, of the 16, 11 were starting and the other five might not get on the pitch. Again, NO communication from the parents (A little different here!!) It meant Mondays training session was insane in terms of intensity as players who had not been selected were bursting to prove they should be for the next match. I think at times we could use some of that mentality to enhance the environment in youth sports here. There have been a couple of teams that I have worked with that I tried to create that feel but, you have to be careful. American youth soccer is full of coaches claiming to "play the Dutch way" or adopt the "Brazilian approach." I think there are aspects we can take from other football cultures, but I don't think a cut-and-paste approach from another method is a wise choice. There are cultural, environmental, and geographical reasons that mean a smooth fit from another philosophy doesn't match up. I don't think we can pretend to be something we are not here in the States. When I was in England as a player and a coach, I was involved with teams that had a variety of playing styles so, I am not sure I could label a "British approach." In my experience, I think players win games, not a certain approach, formation or style. I think it’s wise for coaches to try to develop players to be able to play the games a whole, not in just one style, particularly in the formative years of the players' development. As players embark on the college end of the journey, then it becomes more about cutting the cloth accordingly as a team to suit the qualities you have. (I do think we are still trying to enhance our players' understanding of the game and developing them but, at that stage, within the framework of the team)

What first attracted or brought you to the Ohio Valley specifically, and what’s kept you here all this time? You coached for six seasons at Bethany, two with the men and four with the women and followed that by not only getting the West Liberty program off the ground but also turning it into a successful program.

One of the towns I was in with major league soccer camps way back in 1997 was Glendale. I worked a high school camp for John Marshall high school. I stayed with a family there, The Myers family. They were, still are, wonderful people. The Myers family and community made the other guest coaches and me feel very welcome. As the week-long camp progressed, the boosters floated the idea of me coming to help coach the team for the fall season as they were short of assistant coaches. I finished my contract with MLS camps and returned to the area mid-August and helped the high school teams until the end of the high school season. I went home in November 1997; I was playing back home but struggling to regain my full fitness, so I actually returned to work for a coaching company in New Jersey in March 1998. I stayed in close contact with people from this area and actually decided to start a coaching company with a friend of mine based in this area called English Premier soccer. We created a professional reputation for consulting with clubs in West Virginia and ran camps in the summer where we flew in other British coaches to work for us. I formed a relationship with FC Wheeling (Formerly, Wheeling Eagles) and was a coaching director for them. I met my wife in this period, so I formed roots here. After the stint at home, we returned in 2005, and soon after my return the opportunity to get into college coaching at Bethany presented itself. I was the men’s assistant for 18 months and was then offered the head women’s job.

Christmas and his players congregate on the turf after a 3-2 win against Wheeling University, a game they had trailed 2-0 up until late in the second half. The Hilltoppers reached the MEC semifinals in 2018, falling to W.Va. Wesleyan 3-0.

Speaking of the Hilltoppers, you have a nice balance of local and regional players intermixed with some international flavor on the roster. Given the current pandemic restrictions, has it hampered your ability any to continue to scout and talk with potential recruits, either for any last-minute additions to the 2020 team or even beyond? For the international players, what’s your selling pitch for convincing them to not only come to America to play, but West Virginia and West Liberty in particular?

Our roster has a blend of international players within it. The United States has led the way in women’s soccer, so the appeal for international players to come here, experience it, and compete is a strong attraction. For a long time in many European countries women's soccer has been the red-headed stepchild compared to men’s struggles for funding and coverage. (That has changed in the last couple of years, but it's still behind.) When we communicate with possible recruits and outline, because of title IX that opportunities are equal here, it's appealing. The facilities that West Liberty has constructed for our student-athletes are wonderful, so the environment created is attractive. The current crisis has hindered the recruiting cycle and process. Recruiting typically starts 2-3 years out. In June we can begin communicating directly with recruits going into their junior year. We are communicating with many 2021 recruits right now. Usually, we would have invited 2021 recruits we were serious about to come to campus to join in a practice with the team in March and April. Obviously, all those plans were scuppered. All youth soccer tournaments were canceled too, so, identifying 2022 recruits in detail that we would then reach out to in June has also been hampered. All the schools are in the same situation though, so moving forward, we will have to adapt the typical recruiting process while staying within the NCAA recruiting rules.

You work a great deal with women’s teams now, not only collegiately but on youth and developmental levels. Why do you think the United States women’s teams have been able to experience far greater success on the international stage than the men, both in FIFA and Olympic play?

Like I touched upon earlier, the men’s game worldwide has traditionally been in the fore in other countries, so the USA has been behind. As it has grown more popular, the men have made inroads in terms of competing on the world stage. Equally, in other countries the women's game hasn't had the same support as the men’s, so the women from the USA have had a head start. Football (soccer) in many other countries is the leading sport here; soccer at the professional level is behind football, baseball, basketball, and ice hockey, so the athletes have many choices. I think the amount of choices perhaps dilutes the product going into international competition. The college game (soccer) hurts the men’s development specially for international competition as the rest of the world plays year-round and the college game has defined seasons, so players here in comparison to other countries have less playing opportunities. On the women's side, the college game provides the players with perhaps more playing opportunities than their counterparts from other countries because it is more structured in comparison because of the balance that title IX creates Read the full article

[thisdaynews]

Premier League festive predictions: Lawro v singer-songwriter and Sheffield Wednesday fan Richard Hawley

New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/premier-league-festive-predictions-lawro-v-singer-songwriter-and-sheffield-wednesday-fan-richard-hawley/

Premier League festive predictions: Lawro v singer-songwriter and Sheffield Wednesday fan Richard Hawley

The Premier League’s top two meet on 26 December with Leicester looking to cut the gap on runaway leaders Liverpool.

While the Reds keep on winning – lifting the Club World Cup last week – the Foxes have fallen out of form, and have now gone three games without a win in normal play.

“Leicester had been on such a good run before then, and I just wonder if this is their little iffy period,” said BBC football expert Mark Lawrenson.

“Plus I just think Liverpool are very difficult to stop at the moment. The word I would use to describe them is ‘clinical’, and they showed that again in Qatar.”

Lawro is making predictions for all 380 top-flight matches this season, against a variety of guests.

For the games on 26 and 27 December, he is up againstsinger-songwriter and Sheffield Wednesday fan Richard Hawley,whose latest album ‘Further’ is out now.

Wednesday finished in the top seven three times in the first five seasons of the Premier League between 1992 and 1997. “Those days with Chris Waddle and David Hirst in the team are like a distant memory,” says Hawley. “But occasionally I have the great pleasure of going for a pint with David. He is somebody who is a pal, and a hero.”

Hawley, a former guitarist in Pulp and Longpigs, hails from the Steel City and is enjoying seeing the Owls flying up the Championship as they look to return to the top flight for the first time since 2000.

Wednesday have won four and drawn one of their past five matches to climb to third place and Hawley told BBC Sport: “If you are a football fan you get used to the the undulations of your team – but it is just so good to see us playing so well and for me the team we have got now is all there.

“We have got a brilliant goalie, decent defence, a proper midfield who play football not hoofball, and strikers who put chances away.

“I am a bit worried we have got Stoke, who are second-bottom, next though. It is a Sheffield Wednesday thing that we always seem to raise our game against equivalent or better teams – but then drop points against the lesser sides.”

Wednesday’s best league finish since they were relegated from the Premier League in 2000 was the fourth place they managed in the Championship in 2017. They are currently third, eight points off the automatic promotion places

While Wednesday are bidding to return to the Premier League, their neighbours and rivals Sheffield United have turned into the season’s surprise package following their promotion, and sit fifth in the table.

But Hawley, who went to watch his first Wednesday match at the age of five with his granddad, does not mind seeing the Blades back in the big time – far from it in fact.

“I am actually quite supportive, and not in a grudgingly way either,” he explained. “I like to see anything to do with Sheffield doing well.

“Obviously I want to see Wednesday get some success but I just love the city I live in. I make that fairly obvious because I make a massive point of it in pretty much everything I do.

“A couple of years ago my management were talking about me doing a concert at Hillsborough and it kind of got so far along the road.

“But then in the end I said ‘actually I don’t want to do it’ and they were asking me ‘why not? It will be an amazing event’.

“And I said ‘because a lot of my fans are Blades’. It would have been a bit of a kick in the face for them if I put on a gig at Wednesday’s ground.

Hawley’s favourite current Owls player is Barry Bannan, and he explained: “We all love Atdhe Nuhiu – who we know as ‘Big Dave’ here – because we all love a trier. But Barry has been my favourite footballer for many, many years. He is one of those players who when he is on the pitch he seems to be involved in everything, He is like a really pivotal player in the team and I really enjoy watching him.

“I’ve got loads of mates who are Blades too and the banter is worth it, basically.

“They had been in the wilderness for so long – a bit like us, or Manchester City were when they were in the third tier a few years ago – and it does test your mettle as a fan when you go through all that – it is bleak.

“I miss us not being in the same division, because you don’t get a derby – and a Sheffield derby is such a day. There is the stigma if you lose, but absolute euphoria if you win.

“Let’s just hope we can play them again next season, but I am genuinely pleased see them doing so well – just don’t tell anyone that!’

Premier League predictions – week 19 Result Lawro Richard THURSDAY 26 DEC Tottenham v Brighton x-x 3-0 3-1 Aston Villa v Norwich x-x 2-0 2-0 Bournemouth v Arsenal x-x 1-2 1-1 Chelsea v Southampton x-x 2-0 4-0 Crystal Palace v West Ham x-x 1-2 0-2 Everton v Burnley x-x 2-0 0-2 Sheff Utd v Watford x-x 0-1 4-0 Man Utd v Newcastle x-x 2-0 8-0 Leicester v Liverpool x-x 0-2 2-1 FRIDAY 27 Dec Wolves v Man City x-x 0-2 2-2

A correct result (picking a win, draw or defeat) is worth10points. The exact score earns40points.

LAWRO’S PREDICTIONS

All kick-offs 15:00 GMT unless stated.

THURSDAY, 26 DECEMBER

Tottenham v Brighton (12:30 GMT)

Tottenham were out-thought tactically by Chelsea on Sunday, could not get control of the game in midfield and finished up well beaten.

Brighton, meanwhile, became Sheffield United’s latest victims on the road, and have now won only one of their past seven matches.

It is Spurs who I am expecting to see a response from here, but Jose Mourinho will have to sort his midfield out for that to happen.

Lawro’s prediction:3-0

Richard’s prediction:3-1

Aston Villa v Norwich City

It was worrying to see Aston Villa shipping goals the way they were in Saturday’s defeat by Southampton. Dean Smith’s side have now lost four games in a row, and John McGinn’s injury is another blow for them.

Norwich also have issues at the back of course, and they also paid the price for failing to take their chances when they were 1-0 up against Wolves last time out.

I think Villa will pose the greater threat, but they cannot afford another slip up at home to a team below them

Lawro’s prediction:2-0

Richard’s prediction:Both of these teams came up from the Championship last season, and they are both struggling. This is a no-brainer for me, though, because my drummer Dean Beresford is a massive Villa fan, and his granddad Joe Beresford played for them from 1927 to 1934. He is in the process of writing a book about him at the moment and the stories are legend.

So, if I don’t say Villa are going to win, I might end up without a drummer. In any case I have always had a secret liking of Villa because of their claret and blue colours. I think that goes to the 1970s because I can always picture Andy Gray in their kit. 2-0

Bournemouth v Arsenal

Bournemouth did not offer much going forward against Burnley on Saturday, and did not even manage one shot on target.

They looked like they were at least going to get a clean sheet but the Clarets nicked it right at the end, and the Cherries have now lost six of their past seven games.

Although we have seen Eddie Howe’s side recover from bad runs like this one in the past, they have got a lot of injuries to contend with at the moment and the busy festive period is going to be especially tough on them.

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Arsenal 0-0 Everton: ‘Arteta knows the club well’ – Ljungberg

New Arsenal boss Mikel Arteta clearly has a big job on his hands and it is not just his defence that needs sorting out because the goals have dried up too.

Even so, I would expect the ‘new manager bounce’ to have an effect here.

Lawro’s prediction:1-2

Richard’s prediction:I am going to go for a really dull draw. 1-1

Chelsea v Southampton

Southampton were very impressive in their win at relegation rivals Aston Villa, but so was Chelsea’s performance to beat Tottenham.

It was a huge win for Blues boss Frank Lampard for all sorts of reasons, not least because they had lost four of their previous five league games.

Chelsea’s problem this season has been consistency and Southampton will make things difficult for them but, after beating Spurs, I don’t think they will follow that up by dropping points here.

Lawro’s prediction:2-0

Richard’s prediction:4-0

Crystal Palace v West Ham

The last time these teams met, Crystal Palace snatched a late winner at the London Stadium at the start of October, to nick a victory that spelt the end of West Ham’s good start to the season.

I am expecting this game to be just as close but this time I am going for the Hammers to edge it. Palace have got a lot of defensive injuries and they could catch up with them here.

Lawro’s prediction:1-2

Richard’s prediction:0-2

Everton v Burnley

I wonder what new Everton boss Carlo Ancelotti was thinking when he was watching his side’s 0-0 draw with Arsenal last weekend?

Ancelotti probably realises now just how big a job he has got on his hands, and Burnley are tricky opponents for his first game back in the Premier League.

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Everton 0-0 Arsenal: Ferguson ‘can’t wait’ to work with Ancelotti

If this game was at Turf Moor, it would be even more difficult but Goodison Park will be rocking and I am sure we will see a reaction from the Everton players too.

It probably would not be a bad idea if Ancelotti gave Duncan Ferguson the last word in the dressing room before the team runs out. He would make sure they were fired up and knew exactly what was expected of them.

Lawro’s prediction:2-0

Richard’s prediction:0-2

Match preview

Sheff Utd v Watford

I was impressed by Watford when I saw them lose at Liverpool 10 days ago and they backed that up with their display as they beat Manchester United on Sunday.

Nigel Pearson has taken charge and has seen two very good performances and it looks like the players have responded to him.

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Watford manager Nigel Pearson says his side ‘very badly’ needed their 2-0 win over Man Utd

The quality that the Hornets have got in their squad was never in doubt, and now Pearson has got them playing too.

Their luck is maybe starting to turn a bit as well. I can see them going to Bramall Lane, being competitive, and leaving with the points.

That is going to delight the legions of Blades fans who have pointed out to me where Sheffield United are in my league table (bottom of page) compared to reality.

When I tip them to lose it usually means they will win – but I am going to get one right one day.

Lawro’s prediction:0-1

Richard’s prediction:It is Christmas after all so I am not going to use this as an opportunity to have a little dig at the Blades, although a lot of my Wednesday-supporting mates will probably say ‘why didn’t you just slate them?’

“I am going to get loads of stick from my Wednesday mates here but, for the city’s sake, I hope they win this one. Modern football can leave you cold sometimes but Sheffield United are different. They are not just doing really well, they are the embodiment of a real-life ‘Roy of the Rovers’ story in the Premier League at the moment and they have earned everyone’s respect.

“I admire the hard work and graft they have put in to get the results they have done, and they have had plenty of shining moments along the way. Their manager Chris Wilder is a Sheffield hero too, and I think they are going to have a bumper Boxing Day. 4-0

Match preview

Man Utd v Newcastle (17:30)

I cannot believe that, after Sunday’s defeat by Watford, Manchester United manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer came in said they had played like they were in a testimonial in the first half.

I really don’t get that. Even if you thought it, you would not say it to the press because instantly you are going to be asked ‘why you didn’t motivate them better, and get them at it?’

It tells you a lot about the character – or perhaps the lack of it – in Solskjaer’s squad that they go to Manchester City away and play extremely well, then two weeks later they are away at Watford and don’t turn up.

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Manchester United manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer admits his side were second best at Watford

Paul Pogba will probably start in this game after coming off the bench against Watford, but I don’t see Anthony Martial is the answer down the middle.

One week he looks like a proper player, the next it feels like he has barely played the game. It is very strange.

Even so, they should still have too much for Newcastle, if they can get their tempo right.

Magpies boss Steve Bruce is doing a great job at and he will get a great reception from the fans at Old Trafford – but he will not be leaving with the points.

Lawro’s prediction:2-0

Richard’s prediction:Because of Steve Bruce’s absolutely shocking lack of loyalty to Sheffield Wednesday, I am going for Manchester United to win, 8-0.

Match preview

Leicester v Liverpool (20:00)

It is a big positive for Liverpool that they have had a week away in the sun together and, while it was not cracking the flags in Qatar, it was warmer and it was a nice change of scenery to train in.

Of course they brought home the Club World Cup too, and if you put all of that together it was perfect preparation for this game.

Leicester, who lost at Manchester City, will not roll over and they have got a decent record against Liverpool in recent years.

Most recently they gave Liverpool a good game Anfield earlier in the season, before losing late on, as well as holding them earlier this year before Brendan Rodgers took charge.

But this Reds team is a different animal, which is why I am tipping them to go to King Power Stadium and win to extend their lead at the top of the table even further.

If I am right, that would all but end Leicester’s title hopes but they would obviously still be well placed to finish in the top four.

That gives Rodgers a good argument to ask for money to spend in the January transfer window to build on their position of strength.

By bringing in a couple of new players, Leicester could cement their spot in next season’s Champions League – which would mean they make up for any outlay.

Lawro’s prediction:0-2

Richard’s prediction:This is the match that I think everyone is looking forward to. Obviously Liverpool have had such an insane season – my manager, Graham Wrench, is a Liverpool fan and I have got loads of Scouse mates, like all the Bunnymen,who are all Reds. When I was a kid, Liverpool had so many great teams and I am glad to see them back, the way they are.

Leicester are giving the title a good shout too, and looking for a repeat of the fairytale when they won it in 2016. I don’t see them as massive underdogs in this game, though, even if the points difference is pretty huge. 2-1

FRIDAY, 27 DECEMBER

Wolves v Man City (19:45)

Wolves’ half-term report is a glowing one. It is not a case of ‘must do better’, more ‘can they do any better?’

Their win over Manchester City at Etihad Stadium was one of their best results of the first half of the season, and they also showed last week against Norwich that they have the resolve to win games when things initially do not go well for them.

I am sure Wolves will again look to use the pace of Adama Traore, who scored twice against City in October, but I don’t see a repeat result.

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Manchester City 3-1 Leicester City: Pep Guardiola pleased with Man City’s comeback win

Pep Guardiola’s side have looked a lot more like their old selves with their attacking displays against Arsenal and Leicester in the past couple of weeks, scoring three times in both games.

Of course there is still a question mark over City defensively, but they will take the game to Wolves and I think they will win it.

Lawro’s prediction:0-2

Richard’s prediction:2-2

Lawro was speaking to BBC Sport’s Chris Bevan.

How did Lawro do last week?

Last weekend, Lawro got four correct results with no exact scores from nine Premier League matches, for a total of40 points.

He was beaten by Serge from indie rock band Kasabian, who got three correct results, but with one exact score, for a total of60 points.

+/- DENOTE POSITION DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LAWRO’S TABLE AND ACTUAL POSITION TEAM P W D L PTS +/- 1 Man City 18 17 0 1 51 +2 2 Liverpool 17 15 2 0 47 -1 3 Tottenham 18 13 4 1 43 +4 4 Chelsea 18 12 3 3 39 0 5 Arsenal 18 9 5 4 32 +6 6 Leicester 18 9 4 5 31 -4 7 Man Utd 18 8 5 5 29 +1 8 Burnley 18 7 3 8 24 +2 9 Aston Villa 18 6 4 8 22 +9 10 Watford 18 6 3 9 21 +10 =11 Bournemouth 18 6 2 10 20 +3 =11 Everton 18 5 5 8 20 +4 =11 West Ham 17 6 2 9 20 +5 =11 Wolves 18 6 2 8 20 -5 15 Newcastle 18 6 1 11 19 -6 16 Brighton 18 5 2 11 17 -3 17 Southampton 18 4 3 11 15 0 =18 Crystal Palace 18 3 5 10 14 -6 =18 Sheff Utd 18 4 2 11 11 -13 20 Norwich 18 0 7 11 7 -1

GUEST LEADERBOARD 2019-20

Score Guest leaderboard 160 Gabriel Luna 140 Arnold Schwarzenegger 100 Adam Peaty 90 Helen Housby, Jo Harten, Bobby Seagull, Geraint Thomas 82 Lawro (average after 18 weeks) 80 Andy Murray, Stephen Graham 70 David Baddiel, Michael Johnson, Craig Mitch, Alex Scott 60 Serge from Kasabian, Sonny Bill Williams, Stefan Ratchford 50 Chelcee Grimes, Reece Parkinson, Sam Warburton 40 Stephen Fry, Neil Jones, Tommy O’Dell 30 Seth Rollins

Total scores after week 18 Lawro 1,470 Guests 1,310

Read More

[gadgetsrevv]

Basquet of delights – UEFA EURO 2020 – News

After a hiatus of more than half a century, Spain is back playing its part in hosting the elite of European national team football. This time Bilbao, along with 11 other European cities, is gearing up to host the biggest EURO in history next year.

Spain’s illustrious history in the European Championship boasts three titles, a string of record-breakers and some unforgettable moments on the pitch, reinforcing its position as one of the continent’s giants. However, for Luis Rubiales, president of the Royal Spanish Football Federation (RFEF), this EURO brings brand-new opportunities to showcase Bilbao’s impressive San Mamés stadium, and the Basque Country’s warm hospitality and natural beauty – as well as another chance for La Selección to entertain.

©Getty Images

Rubiales shares his pride and excitement at Bilbao’s involvement. “I think it will be a special EURO,” he says, “as it’s the European Championship’s 60th anniversary. That’s why they [UEFA] planned to do something different. In Spain we’re very proud to have Bilbao as one of the venues. Spain has a very rich footballing tradition. We’ve always been modest, but also proud of our history; that’s why we thought we could contribute something. Besides, Bilbao has got a brand-new stadium, which was inaugurated just a few years ago. Although it was built virtually in the same area as the ‘Catedral’ [nickname of Athletic Club’s former stadium], the old San Mamés, I think we met all the requirements to contribute to this project, so we’re extremely happy that our colleagues at UEFA understood that Bilbao deserved to be one of the venues.

“People in the Basque Country are very passionate about football, in a very special way. But not only there. There are going to be people coming from all parts of Spain, but we also hope foreigners will come along. Besides, Bilbao is a city with a bit of everything.”

A city of culture Steeped in culture and known for its outstanding food, Rubiales mentions some of Bilbao’s main attractions. “The oldest monument may well be Santiago Cathedral, and then there’s the current ‘football cathedral’. It also has the Guggenheim Museum. It offers so much in terms of culture, tourist attractions and wonderful gastronomy. I think everyone will be able to get involved, everyone will feel this event is their own and they’ll enjoy it, both the locals and those coming from further afield.

With EURO 2020 taking place in 12 countries across Europe, Rubiales believes that the rich tapestry of cultures will give fans a unique and varied experience, and that it is a key opportunity for other countries to demonstrate their capabilities in hosting a major final tournament.

Luis Rubiales©RFEF

“It’s important,” Rubiales adds. “I’d like to refer here to something that the UEFA president, Aleksander Čeferin, says very often. When he talks about football, he always refers to the football pyramid. The big boys are at the top, but football is built up from the bottom.

“This has helped UEFA a lot in terms of developing the social side. And thanks also to this terrific UEFA management, they’re helping the weaker ones.”

The heat is on As with the other 11 nations hosting EURO 2020, Spain will have to qualify for the final tournament – bringing a fresh element of competitiveness to the competition. For Spain, qualification will also mean La Selección playing in Bilbao for the first time since 1967. With this in mind, the Spanish football federation and city authorities – including Athletic Club – are working closely to ensure fans enjoy an unforgettable experience, celebrating the opportunity to be part of a new chapter in history.

“Yes, it will be special, of course,” Rubiales adds. “That’s why we need to make the most of UEFA’s experience, as well as the help from the Basque institutions, and even from Athletic Club, the team from that city, and I think it’s a very cherished and special one. They’ve got supporters all over Spain. At the Spanish Football Federation, we’ll try to work together with all these bodies and do our best.

©UEFA

“The fact that all the institutions are helping and collaborating, the fact that Athletic Club has offered us their stadium for the federation to work from, and the fact that Spanish fans who want to enjoy it will be able to experience the city, will make us feel at home.”

As with all countries that host UEFA competitions, Spain will have plenty of opportunities to build a lasting legacy, and Rubiales and his team have identified a two-tiered approach – adding to La Selección’s illustrious back catalogue of success, and supporting Spanish society.

“I think legacy building is an important point,” Rubiales explains. “I’m going to differentiate between two things here. First of all, the sporting side of things. As the Spanish national team, we’d like to go as far as possible, obviously. If we achieve that, great. But, if not, we’ll shake hands with the winners as always.

“However, there’s also the social side of things, the big impact that football has on society and the impact we want it to have on the city. Not only Europe, but the whole world will turn their eyes towards Bilbao, Biscay, the Basque Country, as well as Spain in general.

“For me, this is an opportunity to prove ourselves as a warm and welcoming country that leaves a mark on all its visitors. In Spain, in general, we’re a leading country when it comes to football, and I say that with all due respect to the rest and while showing humility, but it doesn’t just apply to that. It also goes for tourism and gastronomy … I think that whoever comes to visit will want to come back.”

©Getty Images

Bilbao The largest city in the Basque Country thrived on commerce and industry in years gone by, but has reinvented itself as a hive of art and culture since the stunning Guggenheim Museum opened its doors in 1997. A contemporary masterpiece in itself, the Frank Gehry-designed building is one of several museums in a city nominated as a Creative City of Design by UNESCO in 2014, and the same taste for reinvention has also touched the local football scene – hence the new San Mamés stadium, inaugurated in 2013 to replace Athletic Club’s traditional home of the same name, a 1982 FIFA World Cup venue and for many years the stomping ground of goalkeeper José Ángel Iribar, a European champion with Spain in 1964.

MATCHES

15 June: Group E match 20 June: Group E match 24 June: Group E match 28 June: Round of 16

This article originally appeared in UEFA Direct 185

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[junker-town]

The secret salary cap formula successful NFL teams rely on

For NFL teams, it’s not just about staying under the salary cap, it’s also about keeping your salaries balanced.

The firehose has been turned on. It’s Free Agency Week in the NFL, and the reported signings have been spewing in faster than a website’s pre-writes can account for them.

As wild and active as the offseason free agency period can be, it obviously features fewer marquee shifts and home run swings as we see in sports like European soccer. There, the only financial restrictions certain clubs face are in their own respective imaginations. In the NFL, however, the salary cap means most free agent moves are more of the second- or third-tier variety.

The logic of a salary cap is pretty intuitive — it’s right there in the title. There is no Real Madrid, no 2000s-era New York Yankees, to woo every single available (or, in some cases, previously unavailable) player and absorb as many obscene salaries as possible. The NFL’s strict enforcement of its salary cap has rendered the league far more parity-heavy than even other American sports leagues.

The cap, combined with the small, 16-game sample, has created the ultimate in uniformity. Among the country’s four major leagues — NFL, MLB, NBA, and NHL — the NFL easily had the lowest correlation of year-to-year success.

Correlation between a team’s record in one year and the next*

NFL (2016 to 2017): 0.259

NHL (2015-16 to 2016-17): 0.331

MLB (2016 to 2017): 0.347

NBA (2015-16 to 2016-17): 0.849

* MLS manages to go even further than the NFL. The correlation between a team’s points in the 2016 season and its points in 2017 was both tiny and negative: minus-0.126.

Parity is the NFL’s best and worst trait (as it pertains to matters on the field, at least). Because your fortunes can so dramatically swing from season to season, every fan base this side of Cleveland begins a given season with renewed optimism and evidence for hope.

At the same time, outside of New England, building dynasties and long-term rivalries has never been more difficult. Even putting together two years of success is hard — of the top four teams in 2017’s DVOA rankings, three ranked 20th or worse in 2016, and of the top three in 2016, two fell to 13th or lower in 2017.

The margins are infinitesimal, and the cap has made the Good Player on a Rookie Contract intensely valuable. The more cheap players you have playing at a high level, the more expensive players you’ll be able to afford.

Still, there’s an art to cap management that goes beyond squeezing guys into a pre-defined space. The balance of cap space is and has been vital to success.

In his legendary 1997 tome Finding the Winning Edge, Bill Walsh wrote, “One aspect of the cap that is a major concern for all parties is the disproportionate amount of funds being committed to a smaller and smaller group of players.” He noted that in 1996, NFL teams spent 51 percent of their total cap allotment on their 10 most expensive players.

With the restructuring of rookie contracts, plus a few other changes through 20 years of collective bargaining, the ratio has barely changed. Using data from spotrac.com and using only players on the active roster (no injured reserve, no dead contracts), we find that in both 2016 and 2017, teams used an average of 48 percent of their cap on their 10 most expensive active players.

As it turns out, a lot of the best teams play a pretty dangerous game: the more you spend on your top 10 salaries, the better your team is going to be ... right up until you’ve spent too much.

The goal is apparently to get as close as possible to 60 percent without going over. If you get that ratio right and keep the right players healthy — obviously the former is a little bit more in your control than the latter — you have passed the roster balance test.

In terms of the cap percentage occupied by your top 10, eight teams finished 2017 at between 50 and 59 percent; six of them ended up with a positive scoring margin: Minnesota (plus-130), Pittsburgh (plus-98), the Los Angeles Chargers (plus-83), Kansas City (plus-76), Atlanta (plus-38), and Detroit (plus-34). Three of those six (the Vikings, Chargers, and Lions) were particularly improved in 2017, raising their scoring margin by at least 46 points each.

As always, one should note that correlation is not causation. Simply attempting to approach a certain distribution is not what made certain teams good — success is at least a partial result of both staying healthy and, again, having good players on rookie contracts.

Still, looking at this balance can be instructive. When it comes to the percentage of salary your top 10 contracts occupy, the closer you can get to 60 percent without going over, the more likely you are to be good. But if you go over 60, you’re probably too top-heavy to thrive.

The exception to the rule: The 2017 Los Angeles Rams

In the sample of eight teams that went over 60 percent (they were at 63.1 percent), last year’s 11-5 Rams were one of just two that had a winning record* and were the only team with a scoring margin higher than plus-60 — at plus-149, they had the third-best margin of the year.

They bucked the trend basically by having a lot of big contributors on rookie contracts:

QB Jared Goff, the first pick of the 2016 draft, threw for 3,804 yards and 28 touchdowns.

RB Todd Gurley, the 10th pick of the 2015 draft, combined 1,305 rushing yards with 788 receiving yards as a first-team all-pro.

WR Cooper Kupp, a third-rounder in 2017, caught 62 passes for 869 yards.

WR Sammy Watkins, the 10th pick in the 2014 draft, caught 39 passes for 593 yards.

WR Pharoh Cooper, a fourth-rounder in 2016, averaged 27.1 yards per kick return and 12.5 yards per punt return and caught 11 passes.

TE Tyler Higbee, a fourth-rounder in 2016, caught 25 passes for 295 yards.

DT Aaron Donald, the 13th pick of the 2014 draft, had 11 sacks on his way to first-team All-Pro honors.

S Lamarcus Joyner, a second-rounder in 2014, had 44 tackles and three interceptions.

S John Johnson, a third-rounder in 2017, made 50 tackles.

Per Spotrac, these nine productive players combined to take up just 12 percent of the Rams’ cap space. That left plenty to spend on the likes of receivers Tavon Austin and Robert Woods (14 percent of cap), linebackers Mark Barron and Robert Quinn (14 percent), cornerback Trumaine Johnson (11 percent), defensive tackle Michael Brockers (7 percent), and left tackle Andrew Whitworth (six percent).

Having this many cheap players thrive was incredibly fortuitous. It’s also unsustainable, as eventually you have to re-sign some of these guys. Donald, for instance, will soon be far more expensive.

With the Rams placing the franchise tag on Joyner, we’ve already seen Quinn get traded and Watkins leave for Kansas City via free agency. Johnson is also a top free agent, Marcus Peters and Aqib Talib have been brought in as replacements, and there are even more big decisions on the horizon for the Rams, if not in 2018, then in 2019.

* The other, the 2015 Denver Broncos, went 12-4 and won the Super Bowl despite a scoring margin of only plus-59. Including the playoffs, they went 11-3 in games decided by one possession. They were a unicorn, an exception to almost every possible rule.

The annual exception: The New England Patriots

If we look at teams by win total, we see that those who spent a little more on those top 10 players, and keep them healthy, tended to get what they were hoping for from them.

Focusing on just scoring margin, there’s a similar story. But in each case, there’s a Foxborough-based exception. From 2011-17, 16 teams had a scoring margin of plus-150 or higher. Six of them were the Patriots (2011, 2012, 2014, 2015, 2016, and 2017).

Average percentage of cap occupied by top 10 salaries (6 New England teams): 45.7 percent

Average percentage of cap occupied by top 10 salaries (10 other teams with a top scoring margin): 52.1 percent

The 2011 Saints (13-3 with a plus-208 scoring margin), 2013 Broncos (13-3, plus-207), 2011 Packers (15-1, plus-207), 2012 Broncos (13-3, plus-192), and 2015 Panthers (15-1, plus-1912) averaged 14 wins and a scoring margin of plus-200. Their top 10 contracts were right in that mid-50s sweet spot: 55.3 percent.

The Patriots, meanwhile, kept right on diving into dumpsters and finding prime role players. Aside from Tom Brady and a smattering of others at times (Vince Wilfork, Nate Solder, Logan Mankins, Wes Welker), almost no one has taken up more than about five percent of the Pats’ cap. It works for them because Brady is Brady and Bill Belichick is Bill Belichick. But it doesn’t seem to work for most.

So what can we learn by looking at teams’ top-10 salaries for 2017 and 2018?

Heading into the free agent signing period, it was easy to see which teams would be making moves and which would be needing to cut some dead weight.

Note: The figures I’m using to signify how much of the cap is occupied is different than Spotrac’s for 2018, which don’t seem to be accounting for the entire cap at the moment.

Miami suddenly has a lot more salary to deal with at the moment. Since we’re looking at active players, Ryan Tannehill came back on the board in 2018 after missing most of 2017 with injury, and until he’s cut, Ndamukong Suh is occupying nearly 15 percent of the cap by himself.

This is where things stood on the brink of the signing period. We will revisit this periodically through the offseason to see whose rosters are beginning to balance out nicely, and whose are on the cusp of being a fiery mess.

[kinktionary]

The Most Expensive Realistic Dildo On Earth

The Realdoll brand is the property of the San Marcos, California-based Abyss Creation. Founded in 1997, the company is best known for its range of anatomically correct, intensly detailed and highly customizable pleasure dolls. In its 20 years history, the products have been covered in mainstream media and even featured as hero props in celebrated TV series. The base price of their flagship models Real Doll2 and Male Real Doll 2 are is $5,499.00 and $5,999.00 respectively. In spite of these uncertain economic times Abyss Creations has grown substantially.

Founder and CEO Matt McMullen sent shockwaves through the internet earlier this year, revealing their development of an integrated AI and future robotic enhancements. The rise of the sexbot could easily been in their grasp. The company’s journey through the uncanny valley has overshadowed some of their other achievements. Although the buzz has consistently been about their dolls, Abyss Creations has created stand-alone products since the beginning. Their sales records have shown a large number of their customers that invested thousands of dollars into one of their top tier dolls has had previous interactions with these lower priced products.

Obviously, the Real Cock 2 is targeted at the high-end sex toy customer that values a tactile experience over a virtual one. Made of 100% medical grade platinum silicone, their trademarked Sil-Slide tech, and triple layering simulated the feeling of “real” flesh – hence the name. Measuring up at 9 inches tall with 8 inches of usable length and 1.91 inches – it is a sizable member.

The RC2 was tested in limited quantity by webcam models and actresses in the adult industry. After several iterations and improvements, it was released October 2016. To date, over 500 units have been sold.

Priced at $499.99, The Real Dock 2 is the most expensive realistic dildo on the market today. Although the price tag is likely to inspire an acute case of sticker shock to the average consumer, consider that work day week barista-crafted coffee habit at $5.00 a cup equals a staggering $1,200 annually. Arguably the America workforce is fueled more by caffeine than orgasms, but one could also argue that orgasms have a greater overall impact on mental health that ubiquitous cup of Joe.

The lifespan of the Real Cock depends on the user, but according to Abyss Creations’ care guide, use of 2-3 times a week should last for 1 to 2 years. Repair advice and kits are also available.

The $499.99 question is, how well does this otherwise silicone paperweight simulate the real thing? Well that is up for debate. The criteria for choosing what makes one dildo more pleasurable than the other is just as varied as the customer. If sales are an indicator, there is a thriving market for the Real Cock 2. What is not questionable is the meticulous level of detail put into the closest facsimile to a human phallus – minus a pulse, available on the market today.

Ready to make the commitment and test it for yourself? Catch the Real Cock 2 now at http://ift.tt/1v6QVa1

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