#the absolute adrenaline rush to create more has filled my heart and soul

[hawkssucks]

I really love your maid Hawks drawing, it’s so pretty! Your art style feels soft and calming, it’s kinda of like being hugged? I don’t know how to described but it feels very wholesome! Anyways, now I have to find more of your art, wish me luck!

Hhhhhh..,,hhh???? Oh my?? God?? ttthank you anon. This means so much to me. I’ve been looking at this trying to formulate a coherent sentence.

pretty much all my stuff is tagged as ‘stale art’ if that makes things easier hheehoo

[effymaybe]

Might buy, might bite

Lisa is having a terrible night. She makes some poor decisions, unaware of a certain creature awaiting in the dark. - 

Vampire!Jennie because it is not Halloween but vampires are always cool.

Pairing: Jennie/Lisa

Warnings: Mature content but the sexy kind / Vampires are not known by establishing ideally healthy relationships on the first try / I haven’t written in months and you CAN notice 

The night is unusually dark.

The few stars above palpitate almost painfully, and the darkish clouds invisible against the black mattress of the sky become only evident as they engulf the full moon in a loose hug. The contrast creates a faint, somber light that coats the quiet neighborhood as in a silent spell, and the yellowish glow of the few artificial lanterns surrounding the street only contribute to the mysterious vibe of the otherwise familiar landscape.

The absolutely rational portion of Lisa’s brain knows very well that a woman should never walk alone at night. She also knows, stored along other probably-live-saving hacks, that in case of finding herself indeed walking alone at night, she should never ever choose a lonely, poorly illuminated shortcut to reach her destination.

Now, although Lisa’s rationale works quite well, her emotional side couldn’t give less a fuck about surviving.

And that’s how she finds herself walking-running-crying throughout the most dangerous way home.

Her overly-expensive makeup is intact, thankfully, but the tight white dress she chose to impersonate an angel at that damn Halloween party is crumbled everywhere. Her long, black hair is quite messy, but at least her bangs are still in place. She’s running in her heels, much at the sake of her feet, and the ridiculous white wings she was so proud about just three hours ago hit softly against her back as she rushes to burry herself under a billion mattresses.

It’s pitiable, really, how he manages to break her heart in more and more pieces every time she decides to put it back into his hands.

It’s pitiable, too, how every single person she knows manages to betray her at least once.

Lisa stops in her tracks, feeling her long legs weakening suddenly. A ragged sob escapes from her plump lips as she brings her hands up to contain the tears spilling mercilessly from her eyes.

It was supposed to be a fun, happy party to celebrate that the big group of whatever they mean with “friends” could finally gather together after a long time of isolation. She prepared herself along with the girls, her own doe eyes shining in poorly-hidden excitement. She laughed genuinely at the questionably-mannered comments about her costume, drank a bit of rosé even before they got to the gathering. Once there, her boyfriend dedicated her a crooked, cocky smile and grasped her roughly by the waist in what Lisa considered a sign of appreciation. They danced and they drank alcohol. At some point, the brunette thought that her partner was going to kiss her, but he merely hugged her stiffly every time Lisa stared into his eyes.  

Then, time passed and he disappeared. Lisa’s so-called friends spread throughout the place to dance without her. Her feet started to hurt and the party got uncomfortably warm. She looked for him with her doe eyes lost under the flashing lights until she decided he wasn’t on the gigantic living room.

Then, she looked upstairs.

And she heard the moans even before she actually saw something.

Lisa didn’t want it to be her boyfriend. Her hands shook as she merely pushed the half-closed door completely open. She stared with her heart already weeping as the man that had promised her never to hurt her again twice engaged quite passionately in a much intimate activity with a girl who, amidst the dirty blonde hair covering her face, looked quite familiar.

It only took Lisa two seconds.

Her boyfriend was fucking her best friend.

Lisa ran downstairs, crying, ignoring her now ex-boyfriend’s weak protests and her ex-best-friend’s voice basically begging him to forget her and come back to bed. When she found to her group, or what she could gather of it, with her eyes already filled with tears, the simply told her that of course they knew and that she was kinda stupid not to notice, really.

Lisa bolted out of the party with her usually sunny spirit completely shattered.

Which brings her to her current situation, still sobbing desperately as the alley she is walking through gets gloomier and gloomier.

Fuck him. Fuck them, too. I deserve better. I deserve-

She catches a weak, airy sound with her left ear.

Lisa turns around suddenly sober and suddenly very much aware of the fact that she got herself in quite a disadvantageous situation.

The night got warmer, somehow. The moonlight has given up under the insisting obscure clouds.

Lisa feels the cold shiver of pure fear shooting through her spine and relaxes only slightly when she cannot spot anybody around the place.

She swallows thickly as she starts to walk faster, her footwear clicking on the pavement almost as if giving her in.

The brunette feels wired in, hyperaware. The fain sound of the wind makes her shoulders tense. She catches a quick shadow with the corner of her eye and only gets more nervous when she can still see nothing.

The narrow space crooks at some point, and Lisa inhales deeply.

She can do it.

She will walk straight home and gather plenty of strength and call her stupid ex-boyfriend to tell him-

But she cannot keep walking.

As her slender body submerges more profoundly into the darkness of the night, a strong grip pushes her against the rough, cold wall of the alley. She fights back, absolutely terrified. Her heart hammers painfully against her choked chest, and she feels the tingles of pure adrenaline strengthening her arms.

And yet, the grip remains solid.

Lisa thinks about shouting, crying, breaking down in a loud wail hoping to be rescued. Just then, with her voice already reaching her throat, she realizes that the figure keeping her in place is slightly shorter than her.

Feminine, surprisingly delicate.

Lisa can’t scream.

Her eyes search widely the ones of her captor, absolutely dumbfounded, and it is at that moment when the moon can finally push the disturbing darkness away from its light.

As the alley gets brighter, Lisa is left absolutely breathless.

Just in front of her, with both hands immobilizing her body completely, stands the most beautiful girl Lisa has seen in her entire life.

Her face is soft, but cut sharply by prominent cheekbones. Her eyes, dark as the silent sky, are drawn in a cat-line shape that makes her gaze simply melting. Her nose is delicate, small, and her indented philtrum leads to luscious, curved lips. Her forehead is half-covered by open bangs, and her light-brownish hair falls in irresistible waves against her soft jaw. Her dress, tight, black, and visibly expensive, exposes prominent collarbones and a set of curves that should be illegal for a single woman to have.

Lisa only realizes that she’s staring when she hears a soft teasing chuckle.

“Well, hello, honey”.

The brunette presses her lips together in a nervous habit. The girl’s voice is sultry, tempting.

She finds herself struggling for a few seconds before answering.

“Huh- Who…? What…?”

The beauty in front of her licks her mouth almost as if gloating. Her grip remains stoic.

“Who are you, honey?”

Lisa feels somewhat offended. She tears her astonished gaze away from the girl’s face to focus on trying to escape.

“No, who are you? What is this? Let me go!”

She tries with all her will, but the light-brunette’s grip does not give in.

There is something… wrong with it. Cold. Too steady.

It feels like she’s struggling against iron.

Another chuckle heats up her cheeks.

“I’m Jennie”, she hears, and Lisa stops fighting for a moment, “There is no need to be so rude. I was just trying to put a name on my next meal”.

The tallest girl scoffs loudly but grows quiet at the girl’s determined expression.

Jennie doesn’t sound like she’s joking.

“You smell so good”, the shortest girl murmurs. Lisa can’t move. She’s suddenly scared again, as her brain tries desperately to put some of the pieces of all that nonsense together. “Let me….”. The light-brunette shifts, burring her face bluntly against her neck. Lisa is still terrified, really, but Jennie’s chilly breath against her skin rises pleased goosebumps here and there.

The shortest girl runs her nose up her prey’s throat, absolutely delighted.

“Oh, sweetie, you smell fantastic. Fuck”.

Lisa trembles as her skepticism falters.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. What the hell are you?”

She hears a delicate, throaty chuckle vibrating against her pulse point.

Lisa’s knees give in further, somehow.

She tries earnestly to remind herself that the serious possibility of getting murdered in the same night she found her boyfriend having sex with her best friend should not be sexy at all.

“You know the answer, already, cutie. Don’t you?”

Jennie pulls away to lock her gaze with Lisa’s again. There is a predatory glint, a paralyzing edge that makes her cat-like eyes seem as if they could pick on every piece of the tallest girl’s soul.

“I… yes. No, I mean…. You don’t exist. This can’t be”.

The shortest girl’s lets a perfect eyebrow curve in a teasing manner. Lisa can tell that she’s plenty enjoying whatever sick pre-murder game she’s playing. She’s beautiful, the dark-haired girl thinks helplessly. Stunning. Jennie’s luscious mouth spreads in an open, gummy smile that would look adorable if it wasn’t for the –absolutely threatening and not at all attractive- sight of her pointy fangs in display. Lisa manages to stop staring at the girl’s reddened lips to focus on her intense orbs once again, and she lets out a breathless gasp when she sees deep coffee turning into bloody red.

“I do very much exist, gorgeous. And this definitely can be. I wasn’t even going to hunt today, but…” Jennie brings mouth closer to Lisa’s jaw. “Your scent… I had to have you”.

Jennie is not exactly courting. She’s more like being a blood-thirsty, all-powerful, over-intense vampire. Yet, Lisa finds herself blushing like a damn idiot. She knows, at a relatively conscious level, that the smoking light-brunette is just speaking about the very much needed liquid that runs through her veins and not about her whole physique.

She’s about to be Jennie’s next meal. And as the vampire´s fingers indent more profoundly in her skin, she discovers that there is no way out.

So she stays, somewhat embracing her destiny. Her ex-friends are shit. Her ex-boyfriend is shit. Her father is shit. She doesn’t really know whether her mom is shit or not because she abandoned when she was a child so- well that probably makes her shit, too.

At least she’ll die at the hands of a gorgeous woman.

Meanwhile, Jennie’s stare has changed. Deep red has settled in her orbs, but now she’s staring at Lisa’s features with scrutinizing detail. Her head is tilted. The tallest girl can see the delicate mole sitting just above her left eye. Her aura is intense, and definitely hypnotizing, and the brunette finds out that she has stopped fighting against the vampire’s embrace long minutes ago.

“You are so beautiful, sweetheart”, Jennie murmurs suddenly, and lets the pad of her index finger run softly against Lisa’s forehead, then the bridge of her nose, her pouty lips, her strong jaw. The tallest girl trembles, finding it difficult to draw deep breaths. Jennie’s touch is icy against her overly-heated face and it feels so nice, so charming. “So beautiful, baby. Tell me your name”.

And Lisa doesn’t even put up a fight.

“Lisa…Manoban”.

“Mmh, we’ll see that”, Jennie answers, and licks her lips as she traces her blunt nails against her prey’s throat. “You are so enticing, darling”, then, as an afterthought, Jennie brings her gaze up to Lisa’s mouth, “I bet you have an owner already… well… that’s not my problem, really”.

A twisted smile crawls up Jennie’s smug expression, and the brunette scoffs loudly.

“I do not have-”, her voice falters as the vampire’s starts to trace messy patterns up and down her thigs, “An owner. I mean, nobody does. It is not-”, the shortest girl’s nose dips back into her neck, “It doesn’t work like that”.

She feels another cold chuckle pressing against her skin.

“Fine, then. A boyfriend? A girlfriend? A partner?”

Lisa opens her mouth to answer. She’s about to be dismissive, really. If the vampire is really about to suck her dry, there is no need for her to put her fingers inside such a hurtful open wound.

But she can’t speak. She feels her lungs aching for air as Jennie starts to drag her velvety lips against her racing pulse point.

“I asked you a question”, she hears up her jaw, “Do you have a partner, Lisa?”. Jennie’s left arm squeezes Lisa’s small waist firmly, demanding. The tallest girl feels hazy as the vampire leaves open-mouthed kisses along her exposed skin.

“I- no. No, he… he cheated on me”.

Lisa guesses that the mere thought of the past events in the night should make her feel profoundly depressed. It’s actually kind of hard to think properly with the vampire’s sweet scent engulfing her senses.

Jennie stops suddenly, and the tallest girl feels irrationally disappointed.

“Is that why you were crying?”, the shortest girl asks, her red eyes- now more threatening than ever- burning into Lisa’s doe stare.

“I… how long have you been-”

The light-brunette frowns as her mouth curls downwards.

Lisa realizes that the girl likes her answers straight.

Well, damn.

“Since you left that stupidly loud party. What a waste of time for a beauty like you”.

The brunette is left speechless. She stares at the shortest girl with slight surprise. She doesn’t really know what a cold-blooded vampire that clearly has her under her entire disposition could win by such a display of sensibility.

Then, something changes. The light-brunette smirks once again, as if empowered, her aura shifting towards something dangerous, irresistible. Her soft hands start to run up and down Lisa’s body slowly, grazing the underside of her breasts, and the tallest girl cannot even think about the fact that she could try to run away once again.

“Don’t you see, sweetie?” Jennie murmurs deceiving against the skin of her neck, “Don’t you see that I could treat you so well?”.

The vampire inhales deeply just pressing against her prey’s pulse point, as if trying to contain something extremely forceful. “I could make you feel so good, baby, so good”. When Jennie’s hands reach to palm her breasts gently, Lisa gives up. She closes her eyes, powerless, and her mouth falls open as the shortest girl licks along her jawline, now exploring her back. “I love this”, the brunette hears vibrating against her ear, and it takes her a moment to realize that Jennie is talking about the damn wings, “They look cute. It was so fun following you around”.

“Oh my god”, Lisa breathes, and the shortest girl smiles against her neck.

The moon shines brightly now. The shadows of the night highlight Jennie’s acute features almost dangerously. There is a faint scent, hers, all hers, that clouds Lisa’s thinking. When she feels a firm, naked leg parting her own thighs, the tallest girl can’t help but to throw her head back in a spur of delight. The firm pressure against her moisty heat sends her into a frenzy.

“You are so beautiful baby. All for me. You just have so say yes”.

Lisa’s dizzy judgment wonders why would a vampire need permission for something that she can take so easily.

When Jennie starts to suck reddish spots on her sensitive skin, the brunette can hardly gather another thought.

“Say yes, beautiful. Let me taste you”. The vampire nibbles at Lisa’s velvety throat with her front teeth, soft at first and more insistently due the lack of response. A needy groan goes past Jennie’s lips as the tallest girl’s flavor falls onto her tongue. “Fuck, sweetie. Come on. Say yes. Give in, Lisa”.

Jennie uses her strong hands to guide the tallest girl’s waist so she can ride her leg in a steady pace. The dirty mewl that breaks off Lisa’s throat should be enough, but she knows that the vampire wants straight answers and she would give her anything, anything she wants just to keep up with the pleasing friction.

“Yes”, she lets out in a moan, feeling her body pleasingly trapped between the vampire’s strong body and the rough wall. “Yes, yes, oh-”.

Jennie doesn’t want any longer. She doesn’t think she can actually. The smell of Lisa’s thick blood now combined with her raw wetness unveil an animalistic nature she tried to keep at bay. She drags her piercing fangs along the brunette’s neck once, just to tease her a bit further, before actually biting down in pure need.

The taste alone almost gets her off.

It’s delicious, succulent, rich, even more addictive than she expected.

Jennie has never stopped herself from drinking blood, whether fresh or packed, whenever she needed it. She has been in it for centuries, damn it, and yet Lisa’s tangy-sweet savor is something her now gleeful taste buds have never experienced.

The vampire smiles in an almost sick euphoria as she feels the thick liquid spilling here and there. She alternates between sucking earnestly and lapping in a happy delirium, and feels the girl against her getting desperate to speed up her delicious motions.

For Lisa, it was brief pain, the feeling of sharp needles piercing through her skin.

And then, pure, consuming bliss.

She didn’t even know it could feel like that. It probably can’t, in normal conditions, but she is not even able to consider it properly properly with her clothed core grinding wet against Jennie’s bare thigh.

“Fuck, baby. You are the most exquisite thing I’ve ever tried”.

Lisa hears the vampire’s words coming in short gasps. It turns her on even further. Everything feels so nice, so damn right that she can’t bring herself to care anymore. When Jennie tongues the fresh wounds in her throat, she clenches hard.

“Such a good girl, Lisa. All mine”.

The brunette feels the vampire’s tongue deep inside her mouth before she realizes that she’s moving. A tang of copper combines with a cherry-like flavor that can only be Jennie’s. She mewls against the shortest girl’s mouth, her eyes shut closed as she takes in the relentless waves of pleasure that shoot through her body.

Lisa begins to thrust in abandon. She wants to thank Jennie for helping her find the perfect pace with her steady hands. She wants to thank her for making her feel so, so fucking good. She wants to be perfect for her at that moment and offer, just offer it all. A burning fire sets low, and it grows impossibly grand. She feels it tying and tying and she wants to cry out in desperation. She pleads right against the vampire’s demanding lips.

“Please, please… Please, Jennie”.

She doesn’t even know what she’s asking for, but the light-brunette does. With just a flicker of her wrists, Jennie changes the angle of Lisa’s thrusts. The shift hits perfectly, just there, all that the brunette needed, and she hears as the occasional moans she can’t help but to let out when Jennie releases her swollen lips get increasingly louder.

“It’s okay, sweetheart”, the vampire sucks in her tongue just for another moment, “Come for me. Show me, baby. I want to see it all”.

Lisa does not need any more convincing.

As if wired to Jennie’s firm orders, her body lets go in a powerful release that has her high for a few minutes. When she comes down, she feels Jennie’s lips catching a few tears of pure overstimulation falling from her eyes.

She is panting, damp, and incredibly exhausted, she gathers both because of the astonishing peak and the non-incidental loss of blood. Her head falls almost shyly on top of the shortest girl’s shoulder, but the vampire seems completely unbothered by the gesture.

She keeps holding her, waiting. Her hands run through her back almost soothingly, and then begin to fix her clothes in a surprising display of care. When Jennie’s knuckles graze against her underwear, Lisa jolts and whimpers a half-serious complaint.

The vampire smiles.

“You did so well, beautiful”, Lisa feels soft pecks pressed against the skin of her neck, “but I think you ruined your panties”.

The brunette allows herself to chuckle before inhaling deeply.

It’s clearly over.

A shiver of fear runs through her spine but there is not much else to do. She knows that there is no point in even trying to run away. She’s not even sure of being able to stand without Jennie’s anchoring arms.

“Are you… gonna kill me now?”

Lisa feels as the vampire detaches herself slowly from her body.

Her heart starts to beat furiously against her chest.

It’s truly over isn’t it?

She makes an effort to meet Jennie’s intense gaze with hers. When she finds pure confusion in a renewed coffee tone, she doubts her own words, too.

“Kill you, darling? What are you talking about?”

Lisa hesitates for a moment.

“Huh, since you are… a vampire and all”.

Brief recognition illuminates Jennie’s expression to then be replaced by an almost edged amusement.

“Oh, baby”, she murmurs, and uses her knuckles to caress the tallest girl’s features almost reverently, “You really thought I would kill you? And deprive myself from a gorgeous human like you? Absolutely not. I’ve been looking so long to find someone exactly like you. And now that I have…” her fingers grasp the brunette’s chin, forcing their stares to melt, “you are mine, Lisa. And I take care of what belongs to me”.

The tallest girl opens her mouth, stunned. She figures she should feel furious.

She’s mostly in disbelief.

“But…”

“You already said yes, cutie”, Jennie giggles. She looks so young, suddenly mischievous, happy with herself. “I have already marked you. There’s no way out”.

Again, Lisa figures she should feel furious.

She’s mostly… considering.

“I’m going to take you home now”, Jennie tells her, and eyes Lisa’s neck in a bust of pride. “I promised the girls that I was going to take a human someday. They’ll be ecstatic”.

“The girls?”, Lisa mumbles. She feels Jennie’s hand grasping hers, pulling her in, dragging her somewhere.

Her feet follow as if in a spell.

“Rosé and Jisoo. They are getting bored, I guess. It’s been only us three for centuries. They could use some new company”, there is a pause, “as long as I make their boundaries really clear”.

“Boundaries?”

Lisa is lost, but not completely. There is something growing in her chest. A warm, fuzzy feeling.

“I don’t share, Lisa”.

“Oh”.

They stay in silence for a few seconds. Jennie analyzes Lisa’s expression carefully. Her hold is firm and cold, yet somewhat tender. The tallest girl simply waits. There is no need to make a decision. She feels her own limbs going back to a relaxed, pleased position.

“Ready, darling?”

Jennie is testing her. In response, Lisa licks her lips. The faint taste of iron and strawberries makes her smile.

“Yes, I am ready”.

Jennie’s eyes light up in silent happiness only to turn deep brown again.

“Perfect. Let’s hurry up. I’m dying to taste the rest of you”.

Lisa wonders if she’ll get to sleep before that happens. Or if she’ll make it into some form of a shower.

As she delights herself with the gorgeous figure of her captor, she figures she doesn’t mind, really.

[rogsclogs]

The Great Pretender (Ben Hardy x Reader); Part 5.

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader 

Summary: they go at it 

Warning(s): smut, unprotected sex (don’t do it kids), swear words 

Words: too many ( around 2600)

I did not proof read this because I was a bit embarrassed tbh so hopefully it’s not awful, but anyway this is the last chapter of the series, let me know what you think of it! Enjoy

Taglist: @sherlokiantheatrenerd @discodeacygotmorerhythm @ma-ntequilla @i-padfootblack-things @fancybrittrash @hopefully-aesthetically-pleasing @crazyweirdocalledfriday @goldwashigirl @extraordinarilyroger

He felt the adrenaline rush take control over his actions as he bravely placed his hands on her waist while they kissed. He liked to think of himself as a gentleman, someone who would never sleep with a girl on the first date or, even worse, the first day he gets to know her, but at that point in time he couldn’t find it in himself to postpone things. He wanted her, badly, and he wanted her now.

All he had to do was find the strength to ask her, to make sure he wasn’t imagining it all and she wanted this just as much as he did, but the fear of rejection paralyzed him.

“Y/N.. what are we doing?” He may not have realized how much she wanted to push him on her bed and let him do whatever he pleased to her, but she knew the feeling was mutual. She wasn’t afraid anymore, not with him. All she wanted to do was give in to the fire in her lower abdomen.

“I don’t know Ben, what do you think?” Her bravery surprised both him and herself, she had a smirk plastered on her face and a spark in her eyes that he knew too well.

“Aren’t we rushing this? Do you really want this?” He had to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, because it definitely felt like he was.

She gently pulled his face to hers and linked their lips, making sure to show him just how sure she really was.

“So uhm, you want to..” He couldn’t even bring himself to finish the sentence and it was almost comical, even to him, he’d never been the shy one when it came to physical contact, never been a prude and never been ashamed of his needs, but for some reason when it came to her he barely recognized himself.

She let out a soft laugh at his flustered expression, gently caressing his warm cheeks and tracing a finger along his remarkably firm jawline.

“I want you, Ben. You have to believe me though”

“Yeah, you’re right, I’m sorry, I’m just a bit overwhelmed by all of this”

He was the most gorgeous sight and her heart swelled even more at his words. She wasn’t used to having the effect on men and she was absolutely flattered by his uncertainty around her, it showed her how much he truly cared about her feeling comfortable and safe with him.

“I’m gonna tell you a secret now Ben, is that okay?” Her voice was still barely above a whisper and she wanted the delicacy and tenderness of their stares to be reflected in their words, she wanted him to feel the love she had for him all over the place.

He nodded and so she went on, “I really, really like you”.

He was so mesmerized by the beautiful woman in front of him and so taken by her soft voice that he barely noticed her slowly unbuttoning his pants, but he did notice her when she took her (his actually) shirt off and was left in a black lace bra and shorts.

His eyes traveled over her torso and he felt his underwear tighten around him.

“You’re astoundingly gorgeous, Y/N”

She allowed herself to believe his words, and even though self confidence had never been her forte she truly felt beautiful before him.

“Jump” that was all the encouragement she needed to wrap her legs around him and let him carry her around, but before he could even take a step he undid her bra and slid the straps down her arms, creating a path of goosebumps on the skin he brushed against.

“Where to, love?” She was so turned on by the situation and by the heat radiating off him that for a minute she couldn’t remember how to talk.

“I want you on my bed” he didn’t need to be told twice. 

As he made his way to her room holding her securely, she left kisses and bites all over his neck, which she’d always thought would look extremely good covered in love marks. She realized she’d been right all along. 

He softly laid her on the king sized bed while keeping his mouth on her body almost without a break, it was like his lips were drawn to her pale skin and always had to be kissing her somewhere.

He left traces of himself on her full breasts, tugging at her nipples with his teeth and earning a soul cleansing groan from her. She was so beautiful like that, all flustered and shaky and filled with desire just for him, he knew this would become his all time favorite view.

He also knew where he wanted to kiss her the most.

He took off her shorts in a swift move, keeping her panties in place so he could have some fun with them later on.

“Why am I the only one naked here?”

He realized she did have a point and decided to give her a bit of a show while taking off his clothes, biting his lip and giving her a strip tease, flexing his muscles one by one as they came into view.

“I’m going to come just by looking at you without even having you in me if you keep that up, Ben”

“Well, if that were to happen I would just have to make you come more than once I guess, which was my plan to begin with, so suit yourself” his tone was low and almost daring, knowing he wanted her to have the most mind blowing orgasms of her life.

“You look so beautiful like this Y/N, all covered in marks and all ready for me, baby girl” she’d never been that into dirty talking, but his mischievous look and his deep raspy voice whispering into her ear were enough to make her faint right then and there. He was getting braver by the second, seeing how much she was enjoying this, and ran a finger down her underwear, making her squirm under him and bite her lip from how sensitive she was.

“You’re fucking dripping baby girl, who made you this wet?

“You did Ben, oh my god” she threw her head back as he started gently rubbing her core with his thumb.

“That’s right my love, and what else do you want from me?”

“I want you to use your mouth on me”

“Your wish is my command, princess”

He teasingly bit the skin on her hips and left kisses all around her belly button before sliding her panties down her legs using his teeth, causing her to giggle softly at him.

“Are you laughing at me, woman?” His tone was playful but he pretended to be offended at her reaction.

“Never, dear, I would never” she had the biggest smile on her face and the most gorgeous sparkle in her pupils so he couldn’t really force himself to be mean to her, even if it was all in good fun.

“You won’t be laughing in a minute, love” he said right before spreading her legs and placing a first soft kiss on her core. She let out a muffled noise, closing her eyes and clenching her fist to regain some self control. And he hadn’t even touched her properly yet. 

“No baby girl, I want you to look at me while I eat you out” she wasn’t sure she was able to comply with his request, she was barely able to keep herself from shaking, but she tried to keep her eyes open anyway. The eye contact they held as he bent down again and shoved his tongue inside her was the most intimate thing she’d ever done in her life, and also the most exposed she’d ever felt, not that she was complaining. He kept going for a while, driving her absolutely insane with his skilled mouth. His tongue drew patterns around her opening and then his lips suckled on her clit in the most incredible way and she knew she couldn’t last much lunger.

“Ben, oh my God, I think-”

“I know baby, I can feel how tense you are” he said while pushing two fingers inside her as well.

“You can come for me Y/N, I’ve got you”.

He held her down on the mattress by her waist as she went through the most heart stopping orgasm of her life and he kept his mouth on hers as his fingers worked her through it, allowing her to run her fingers through his hair and tug at it.

“You back on earth yet?” He jokingly asked her after a minute, seeing that her breath had become normal once again and feeling her heart rate stabilize in her chest.

However, she didn’t know if she could trust her voice yet, so she just shook her head no causing him to laugh softly at her expression.

“That good?” He didn't want to admit it, but he’d never felt so good about himself in his life than he did in that moment, knowing she was seeing stars because of him. He could have spent the next year of his life eating her out and never getting tired of it.

“Yeah, uhm.. yeah, it was that good” she finally said after a while “no one had ever done that for me before, I didn't know it would feel so good”

“What do you mean no one had ever done that for you before? Has no one else eaten you out?” He was shocked by her words, she looked so much like a goddess to him that he thought every other guy would want to do that for her.

“No, only you baby” she sweetly combed through his ruffled hair with her fingers, looking at him with so much love in her eyes he thought she would combust. 

He started placing gentle kisses on her arm until he reached her hand, then kissed each one of her fingers while never breaking eye contact.

“I don’t know if I should be pissed that no other guy has ever treated you like the queen you are or if I should be relieved that I’m the only one who knows your taste” he said before kissing her deeply once again, and she could still taste herself on his tongue.

“Let me get a condom, baby”

“No need to, I’m on the pill” he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, it was too good to be true.

“You don’t want to.. use a condom? Seriously?” 

“Well, I mean if you want to we can use one, I just don’t mind if we don’t, uh, but if it makes you feel unsafe-” he stopped her mid sentence with a passionate kiss, showing her how much he truly trusted her and how fucking grateful he was to be with her. 

“You want it raw? You're gonna be the death of me Y/N” he said before hovering over her once again and placing another series of kisses all over her chest as she ran her fingers down his toned torso, trying to make her fingers memorize every small bump on his skin. She wanted to remember this moment for the rest of her life. 

“Just, be gentle Ben, it’s uhm, it’s been a while” she blushed as she admitted that, she didn’t like the idea of letting Ben know she hadn’t been getting much action before him, but somehow she knew he wouldn’t make fun of her for it.

“Yeah, of course baby, let me know if at any moment you want me to stop, alright?” 

She nodded quickly and helped him get his boxers off, causing him to let out a groan of relief. The built up pressure in his lower stomach felt good but he really needed to release it now.

He entered her in a swift move so that she could get used to having him inside and kept his eyes open even though the pleasure was almost too intense to because he wanted to make sure she was doing fine. She had her eyes shut and her lower lip bit into, her hands were tight around Ben’s biceps but she didn’t look like she was in pain.

“You good baby?” He asked in a shaky voice.

“Yeah, I’m fine I’m just a bit tight” 

“Yeah, I can tell” he could really tell, he felt her walls clench around him with every inch he pushed further in and it was driving him insane, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so good but there probably wasn’t a previous time he’d felt like that.

“You’re not going to hold it against me if I don’t last long, right?”

She let out a giggle and suddenly everything else in his life seemed meaningless compared to that beautiful sound.

“You can make it up to me another time, alright?”

“I like the sound of that” he felt so relieved knowing she was already hinting at wanting to be with him again, he couldn’t help but feel like the luckiest man in the world.

He wasn’t kidding when he said he wasn’t going to last long, but she really didn’t mind because he managed to make her come right after he hit his own orgasm using his fingers. He was so skilled with them, she wondered how in the world his girlfriend could break up with him.

As he pulled out of her, a mixture of their releases leaked out of her, so Ben walked over to her bathroom, wetted a towel he found laying around and gently cleaned her up, receiving a soft whimper from her because of how sensitive she was after the night.

He then pressed a kiss on her lower stomach and pulled her panties that he’d previously thrown away back on, then cleaned himself up as well, all while Y/N couldn’t take her eyes off the beautiful boy standing in the middle of her bedroom with sex hair and marks all over his neck. He was the best thing she’d ever seen. 

“I can feel you staring” he playfully teased her, but the undertone was clearly kind and a way to let her know he’d been staring at her too when she wasn’t looking.

“I really like you, Ben. I know I’ve said this before so it probably isn’t that special anymore, but I want you to know that and I’ll repeat it a million times if you want me to” she didn’t know why but she suddenly felt very emotional and a tear escaped her eyes.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong, love? Why are you crying? Did I say something? The feeling is mutual, I thought we’d established that, we just had sex without a condom I mean, come on!” He cracked a joke in hopes to make her stop crying and it worked, her face broke into a big smile and he swore he would have killed for this girl.

“I know, I’m not sad, sorry, I don’t even know why I’m crying, I just... felt everything all at once and was a bit overwhelmed I guess”

He tucked her in under the cover and got in beside her, immediately wrapping a strong arm around her so that she could cuddle into his bare chest.

“It’s okay love, but I should be the one being overwhelmed right now, I can’t believe how stunning you really are inside out. The feeling is mutual, no need to worry”

She finally let herself relax and rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as it lulled her to sleep.

“Are you staying the night?”

“Only if you want me to” he said as he started stroking her hair and leaving soft kisses on her head.

“I do”.

[midoriyasbones]

Sheith is canon. Stop peddling klance. You're too talented for that juvenile bull crap.

im gonna hit my fucking limit if you don’t piss off.

i’ve received so many of these over the past few months and i’ve just been deleting them because they’re a waste of my time. but im so angry right now i could scream. how dare you call me juvenile when you come into my inbox spewing this shit almost on the daily. also who the fuck says bull crap?? it’s 2018 you either swear or you stay in the chucke cheese ball pit where you clearly belong.

it’s people like you anon who are making me absolutely hate my work as an author, as an event runner, and above all you’re making me fucking hate myself. i can’t stand this. fuck.

anon, you’re making me loathe sheith, and not because of the ship itself. i think the ship is a great concept and has many amazing people behind it, but recently when i see sheith all i can think about are these fucking anons and i get sick to my stomach. the stupidest shit goes through my head like… ‘would people like me more if i shipped sheith?’ ‘is shipping klance wrong?’ ‘would my work be better focus towards sheith?’ ‘do people even listen to me because i ship klance? are they right, is klance ‘juvenile’?’ and it fucking hurts. because i like sheith’s dynamic. it’s a relationship built on trust and pure adoration. it’s a kind of love that lingers in your soul, the slow burning of sweet incense until you’re drunk from the smell, it’s that kind of intoxicating. i want to be able to see sheith exactly how i just described it there and not see this fucking anon taunting me. i thought if i didn’t answer you’d go away, but here you are. you’re always here.

anon, i’m not sure what you’d thought you’d accomplish by praising my intelligence, my compassion, my persistence, my strength for these past few months, and then saying i’m wasting it. if you were trying to get me to ship sheith, you’ve fucking failed. had you left me alone i probably would have started shipping it. but no, you kept sending these. well fuck you anon. i still don’t ship sheith and now i just feel so fucking angry at myself for allowing you to become what i associate sheith with. im so angry. the real sheith shippers don’t deserve my anger just as the real klance shippers don’t deserve it either. i should be angry at just you, but i’m not. i’m angry at it all and i hate myself for it. i hate myself! fuck!

but at least you’ve emboldened me. i’ve rekindled a love for klance because of you. i’ve kept my ship despite you coming in and trying to explain why klance won’t be canon, why sheith is already canon, why klance works are inferior, why i should rewrite my stuff as sheith, why i shouldn’t ship klance. in fact! i’d say i ship my ship more because of you. my talents are not wasted in creating what i love. they will never be wasted. as long as what i do makes me happy then you can go eat a full pound of sugar free jelly beans (aka the most powerful laxative in the fucking world). i am creating what i love just as other shippers are creating what they love. the point of a fandom is to create and enjoy. it’s not a place to debate about what ship is better.

klance is… it’s a ‘say you’ll never let me go’ kind of love. it’s an ‘i’ll be your anchor’ kind of love. it’s ‘i’ll be your voice when the whispers get too loud, your home base and the king that keeps you crowned, your lips when your choking on your words’. it’s a wildfire. it’s raindrops,  it’s who do you love, it’s stutter, it’s haven’t had enough, it’s a smoke filled room, it’s surrender, it’s clarity, it’s something better, it’s closer, it’s it’ll be okay, it’s firestone, it’s i’ll fight or you, it’s enjoy the ride and a million other songs i could link. 

klance to me is the sunlight reflecting off the ocean, orange rays staining the blue ripples. it’s the rainfall to the desert, droplets quenching the parched earth their creating new life. it’s the vivacious spirit of a summer storm, the lightning and the thunder. klance is the spirit of adventure, a great wondrous spark of curiosity. it’s an impulsive fling that turns into an eternal flame. it’s an iceberg: fun and bright on the surface but the passion runs deep beneath it. it’s the thrill of a new discovery, the innocence of a child in a park and simultaneously the father watching his child learn. it’s the drive behind competition, an adrenaline rush. rev your engines, smirk at your rival, ‘eat my dust’ trash talk but you know when the crowd dies down you’ll be in each other arms. it’s a thrill you get from going really fast and the fear from a fall yet all the overwhelming relief when you are safe. it’s a soul splintering sob that leaves you vulnerable and shattered in the best ways and a carbonated laugh that tickles from your nose to your toes. the warmth from the sun, the sighs of a wind, the light of the stars, the beating of a heart, the cool of the mist. it’s a thousand words in a picture. it’s a rush of air. it’s clean and fresh and youthful and exhilarating and i thrive in this kind of place. i thrive in the polar opposites and extremes. i need this kind of joy and reverence and mix of agape and eros like oxygen, like water, like touch.

and i thrive in the peace too. the gentle quiet of the dawn and the calm after a storm, the waves lapping on the shore, the fire crackling in the hearth, the ship docking at harbor, the plane gliding over the clouds. it’s the feeling of a good sleep. it’s the reassurance of a lover’s forgiveness. it’s the great tranquility of standing up for what’s right. it’s the great strength of a smile won after tears. if morning coffee and cuddles and blankets and nuzzles.

what im trying to say is… klance to me is joy. joy is my favorite emotion. i live to feel joy to make joy to be joy to spread joy. so let me be joyful in what i do and let others be joyful in what they do.

so i ship klance. and now you know why. this ship leaves me raw and empty in the best way. i’ll never stop loving it, you can’t make me, i won’t let you. just like i won’t let people like you ruin this ship or any other ship for anyone else ever again. the next ask from you i get i’m just going to ip block. i won’t let you take the joy from my ship or taint other ships for me anymore.

[findingschmomo]

[IwaOi] And All the Prince’s Men Part IV - Missing

Title:  And All the Prince’s Men Pairings: IwaOi, side KageHina, side KyouHaba Rating: T Genre: Royal AU, Implied references to suicide, Angst, Friendship There is something in Ushijima’s superior attitude, in the way his eyes bore down into Iwaizumi that makes him feel inferior. That in the grand scheme of things, it is Ushijima who will be remembered, and Iwaizumi who will be forgotten. That there is no question who wins this battle. That Iwaizumi had lost the moment he was born, two months before Ushijima, but leagues beneath him. Links: AO3

Prince Tooru is dead.

When the news first hits Iwaizumi he does not react. He is stock still in disbelief at the weeping maid in front of him, a woman who had searched him out immediately to relay the devastation. He stares at her, mind broken for a moment.

And then the world speeds up as he returns to reality and he is shaking his head. Because it’s not true. It can’t be true. She takes his hands in her own, comforting and sorry, tears pouring from her eyes. But his hands are numb in her grip and he can’t stop shaking his head.

Because she’s wrong.

Because it isn’t true.

Because Iwaizumi would know. He would know if Oikawa was dead. Would feel it in his bones, would feel it in the corners of his heart and the depths of his soul. It would be an all encompassing anguish that he would feel in his very core.

But he feels none of this.

He feels nothing at all.

So it can not be true. It is a lie. A terrible, terrible lie. And Iwaizumi isn’t sure who created it, if it be Shiratorizawa, the King or Oikawa himself. But he knows it is a lie, and he finds comfort in that.

“Who told you?” he hisses, voice gravelly as he leans closer to the woman.

She takes in a few shuddering breaths, “The King,” she murmurs, “He called us into the hall and he read aloud the message the chariot brought back.”

Iwaizumi’s fingers tense up in her hands and she lets out another sob. She pulls her hands back from him, using them to shield her face as she falls to her knees in absolute sorrow, “Oh Iwaizumi, please, please tell me it isn’t true.”

Iwaizumi crouches down, hands on her shoulders, “It’s not true.”

She shakes her own head then, sobs muffled by her hands but still loud enough to tear at Iwaizumi, “His voice did not even waver when he read it,” she hitches, voice low so that no one else can hear her but Iwaizumi’s straining ear, “His voice felt so cold, Iwaizumi. In the light, God, in the light it looked like he was smiling.”

The maid looks up at him, eyes red and puffy, but brow pulled into an expression of such utter disgust in the wake of devastation, “How can anyone smile at the death of their son?”

Iwaizumi squeezes her shoulders.

Nothing stops Iwaizumi from bursting into the Great Hall after he helps the maid up onto her feet. He leaves the barrack’s sparring grounds, rushing into the castle, pushing through grieving servants crumpling to the floor around him. No one stops him. If anything they turn away in their grief at the sight of him, unable to look at a reminder of what they all once had.

He finds the King in the Great Hall, ordering morose guards to get back to work. Prince Tobio sits on the steps beside his father, face in his hands, inconsolable. He’s not crying, but his eyes are vacant as they stare at the ground. As if there is nothing left for him to give.  There are sobs echoing throughout the hall from maids weeping on the ground, butlers crouched in grief, servants shaking their heads in utter disbelief, all of them sent into another spiral of grief much too soon.

It is chaos.

And in this chaos, Iwaizumi stomps his way right up to the royal family unimpeded. There are no tears in his eyes, there is no falter in his step, there is only fury, painting his eyes red.

“Where is he?” he seethes, staring straight into the King’s eyes, hands balled into fists at his sides. He stands up straight, hands trembling only with anger, and the desire to harm.

The King does not seem surprised by his words nor his presence. He keeps his gaze even, barking in turn, “He’s dead, Iwaizumi. Taken by bandits coordinated by a traitor. Shiratorizawa will pay dearly for this oversight, do not worry.” And the King smiles.

Iwaizumi shakes his head, mouth parted in disbelief at the absurdity of the King, “You’re lying!” he shouts, fingers desperate to wrap around the King’s neck, “Where is he! What have you done with him?”

“Iwaizumi,” Prince Tobio croaks, and Iwaizumi can’t bear to look at him in this moment. Prince Tobio has never been one to wear grief well, even in the light of all his recent practice. But Iwaizumi is in no mood to comfort. He only wishes to destroy. He turns away, rage coursing through his veins and he needs to leave. Needs to leave before he does something he can not take back.

Kyoutani bursts into the room, providing him the perfect distraction. “Where the fuck is he?” the angry knight screams.

His presence is not met as benignly as Iwaizumi’s intrusion. Kyoutani has never been a familiar sight within the castle walls, has never built any kind of rapport with any of the servants. All he is known for is the destruction that tends to follow in his wake. It is no surprise that the guards immediately swarm him to keep him at bay.

Iwaizumi grits his teeth, stepping into the fray and grabbing the young knight. He turns to the guards, “I will deal with him. Let him go.” There is hesitance painted on their faces, but it blends with the sorrow etched across their features. Iwaizumi softens his voice as best he can, “We’re all going through a lot right now.”

The guards pull back, eyes somber and tear stained, leaving Kyoutani for Iwaizumi to take care of. Iwaizumi hauls the screaming teen out, back into the courtyard, shoving him up against the wall, “Look, I’m just as upset as you are about Prince Too--“

“I don’t give a rat’s ass about that shithead!” Kyoutani snaps, pulling free of Iwaizumi’s hold.

Iwaizumi punches him. It is an immediate response. A rage filled response. Uncalled for, honestly, and something Iwaizumi should apologize for when his gaze is not so clouded by red. But it does shut the teen up, leaving him winded and clutching at his cheek, eyes wide. Iwaizumi’s voice drips venom when he speaks, no remorse present in his tone, “Don’t you ever, ever, say that about our Prince again, do you hear me Kyoutani?”

Kyoutani growls under his breath, turning his face away. “Whatever,” he manages to say. He wipes some blood away from his nose with the back of his hand, smearing it up his arm.

“Kyoutani,” Iwaizumi warns, fingers clenching into fists once more at his sides.

“There’s more important shit to worry about!” Kyoutani insists, eyes desperate once they return to searching Iwaizumi’s face, “They’ve locked him up somewhere! They’re saying he did it, Iwaizumi. That he killed him. Do you know what that means?”

Iwaizumi squints at him, uncomprehendingly, “What? Who? What are you talking about?”

Kyoutani lets out an annoyed huff, “Get your head out of the Prince’s ass. They’ve locked up Yahaba! They’re saying he did it, because he was with the Prince when it happened.”

“What?”

“Yeah, and that’s bullshit and we both know it. Yahaba’s an infuriating asshat, but he’s not a murderer. And he loved the Prince more than anyone,” Kyoutani pauses, giving Iwaizumi a sneer, “Well, almost more than anyone.”

Iwaizumi looks away, kicking at the castle wall to expend his pent up adrenaline, “He’s not dead,” he mutters, placing a fist on the wall and restraining himself from punching, “I would know if he was dead. He’s not. He’s out there. Somewhere. Probably being an idiot.”

Kyoutani glares at him, “Well if that’s true than the idiot’s just signed Yahaba off to his own death so fuck him.”

Iwaizumi sighs, running his fingers anxiously through his hair, “I’ll find him. I have to find him. And then, then it will all get sorted out.”

“Are you not fucking listening to me?” Kyoutani shouts, “Yahaba’s been charged with the murder of the first Prince! He’s going to be executed!” He grabs Iwaizumi’s shoulders roughly, forcing him to look at him, “We have to do something!”

Iwaizumi is the one to growl this time, pulling free to look away again, “I don’t know what to do! Alright? What do you want me to say? You think I’ve got all the answers? I have nothing, Kyoutani! I have never had anything my entire life!”

Kyoutani is unconvinced, eyes narrow in disgust, “You know this castle inside and out. You have to know where they’re keeping him,” he insists, “I’m getting him out, Iwaizumi. I dont give a shit if you help me. But I’m getting him out and you’re not stopping me.”

Iwaizumi leans against the wall, head looking up at the sky, taking in the sight of birds flying in the air. Circling around him. Predatory. Observant. He groans again, hands pushing at his eyes. This has all been too much in so little time. His mind is a mess of emotion and racing thoughts. He doesn’t know what to do.

He doesn’t know what to do.

A bird’s cry pierces through the air, swooping low above them.

A falcon.

An idea suddenly lights up within his mind and he turns to Kyoutani, “We need, we need to stay calm. I think know who can help us. Help us come up with some sort of plan.”

-----

“And you’re positive? You’re sure?” Lord Takahiro insists, eyes still red from the the news.

Iwaizumi nods. He had grown surer with each passing day after hearing the first news. It was fact in his head, “He’s not dead.”

“But they said there was blood all over wagon,” Matsukawa comments, fingers tugging at his hair, “They even found a dagger soaked in it!”

“Yeah, and Yahaba slept right through that amount of bloodshed?” Kyoutani huffs, fingers digging into his crossed arms, “Calling bullshit.”

“Kyoutani,” Iwaizumi hisses, a warning to be more polite. They were still dealing with nobility, no matter how familiar he had become with them.

“I heard...Yahaba was the one...who,” Lord Takahiro starts.

“Yahaba didn’t do it!” Kyoutani growls, “In fact, he probably knows what happened and that’s why the King locked him up! Why are we just sitting around doing nothing? They’re going to kill him!”

“Kyoutani, we need to stay calm.”

“Get the fuck off your high horse, Iwaizumi,” Kyoutani snaps, “You’ve shattered three vases today. Don’t tell me to be calm when you can’t even get your legs to stop shaking.”

“Are all knights so foul mouthed?” Lord Takahiro comments.

Kyoutani whirls to face him, “Don’t even get me started on your bullshit, Fancypants.”

“Kyoutani!” Iwaizumi shouts, slapping him hard on the shoulder, “Sit down and be quiet!”

“You want me to put a blanket over him? That’s what works with my birds,” Matsukawa offers, trying to inject some semblance of humor into this terrible conversation. Kyoutani does not appreciate it, but he sits down all the same, scowling at the three but keeping his mouth shut.

Iwaizumi relaxes his shoulders for a moment, turning back to the noble, “He’s not dead. He’s probably run off somewhere. I don’t think he’s really thought this through enough. I need to go find him.”

“If that’s true, he could be anywhere! It’s been days,” Hanamaki says, frown tugging at his lips.

“I know. But I can’t just sit here,” Iwaizumi replies.

“What’s your plan?” Matsukawa asks.

“Scour every corner of the continent until I can find that idiot and give him some choice words about making us so worried,” Iwaizumi huffs, and then he reddens, adding, “Sorry, I shouldn’t call the Prince an idiot in front of you.”

“You’re allowed to call him whatever you want, Iwaizumi.” Matsukawa replies, “Nice bandage on your neck by the way. Real subtle.”

Iwaizumi flames up, hand coming up to cover the sore spot on his neck. He’d covered it up immediately with some gauze, making up some excuse about a spar gone wrong. Was it really that obvious?

“Anyway,” he coughs, returning to the subject at hand, “Kyoutani is right. Yahaba probably knows more than any of us about what happened. We need to get him out of here. He’s a good kid.”

Matsukawa licks his lips nervously, “He’s been charged with the murder of a royal. That’s high treason. You don’t just walk away from that.”

Iwaizumi’s face is stern, “I’ll break him out and take him with me when I go. The King’s already probably searching for an excuse to lock me up to.”

“He’s been acting so strange since the Queen passed,” Lord Takahiro agrees, “Won’t talk to anyone. Doesn’t trust anyone anymore. Everyone was shocked when he didn’t postpone the wedding at all. I heard Prince Wakatoshi was offering to wait a whole ‘nother year.”

“Not to mention this morning. He’s off his rocker.” Matsukawa agrees.

“What happened this morning?” Iwaizumi asks. He’d been steering clear of the castle the past few days, trying to lie low as he prepared for his journey, borrowing supplies from sympathetic servants, taking food here and there.

“He sent Prince Tobio off, right on schedule.” Lord Takahiro explains, “Kid looked miserable. More so than usual.”

“He’s not even fourteen yet?” Iwaizumi murmurs, furrowing his brow.

“Not to mention he just lost his mom and his brother weeks apart from each other. Sure the Prince can be a brat, but this is just cruel beyond words.”

“It makes no sense,” Lord Takahiro continues, “He’s putting so much pressure on Prince Tobio to ascend, it’s absolutely ruining him. And all this when he’s one of the few Kings blessed with two sons. Why was he always so quick to throw Prince Tooru away?”

Iwaizumi swallows.

“Have you guys not figure it out yet?” Kyoutani huffs, unable to keep to himself quiet for long, “Isn’t it obvious?”

Iwaizumi flashes him a surprised look, fear seizing him suddenly. Does Kyoutani know? How could he know? Had Oikawa slipped up at some point? Had he seen?

“Prince Tooru’s clearly not his kid. They look nothing alike.” Kyoutani continues, “He’s just a copy of his mom. Of course the King would hate him and want him out. No one likes a bastard.”

“Huh,” Matuskawa mulls the idea over, “I never really thought of it that way. But it makes sense.”

“Did you know Iwaizumi?” Lord Takahiro asks.

“This is nonsense,” Iwaizumi replies, trying to calm down his racing heartbeat with the knowledge Oikawa’s secret is still safe, “I’m not here to gossip. I’m here to make a plan. I need your help.”

Lord Takahiro nods, “What do you need us to do?”

--------

Iwaizumi had only visited the castle dungeons once before. Deep within the palace undergrounds, it seemed like the perfect place to find a hiding Oikawa during an intense game of hide and go seek. He had thought himself brilliant for coming to the conclusion, racing down the steps and diving past the guard with a joyful grin.

Only to be scooped up and scolded furiously, barred entry and given some lashings for the disrespect.

He never even entertained the thought of sneaking in again.

(Oikawa had been hiding in a cabinet in the pantry room.)

But he does remember where the dungeons are, and he knows approximately where the cells would be found. And years of helping Oikawa study every inch of the castle allows him to know one more important thing: all cells have a grated opening to the surface, to allow a sliver a light and some rainwater to slip through.

Iwaizumi is certain these grates are found by the north east side of the castle, the side normally ignored when guiding visiting nobles through the grounds. The grass there is attended to once a week rather than every other day. There are few flowers grown, and just as Iwaizumi suspected, there are slits in the ground right by the castle walls.

The slits are about an inch wide and five inches long, with small metal rods spaced an inch apart within them. The slightly unkept grass shields them well from obvious sight but they spot them easily when they try.  

“He’s down there?” Kyoutani asks, beside Iwaizumi, crouching low to the ground to eye one of the grates.

“He’s in one of them, at least.”

“Yahaba!” Kyoutani hisses, crawling to each grate. There are groans from a few, curses from more and the occasional grubby fingers clawing out into the fresh air. Iwaizumi feels his stomach churn, tries to remind himself most of these people are actual criminals to assuage his growing guilt. Stay focused on the task at hand.

Finally, at the end of the row, they see a pale shaky finger poke through the grate. This grate is noticeable smaller than the others, barely leaving enough room to fit two lean fingers through.

“Yahaba?” Kyoutani repeats, leaning close to the grate in question.

“Kyouken?” A hoarse voice responds, finger twitching at the air.

Kyoutani drops down to his knees, digging at the dirt around the grate with his hands. Iwaizumi grits his teeth, putting a hand on his shoulder to stop him, “There’s no point, see. It’s all stone under here.”

“Iwaizumi?” Yahaba’s voice is scratched at the edges, as if his throat is so dry the words tear his skin up as he speaks them.

“Are you alright?” Iwaizumi asks, slipping down onto his knees to hear the quiet responses.

“Could be better,” Yahaba whispers back, attempting at a laugh that only ends with him coughing. He pulls his hand back, most likely to cover his mouth.

“This is stupid,” Kyoutani growls, pulling at the grate, “How are we getting him out?”

“We just needed to see which cell he was in. Remember the plan.”

“You’re getting me out?” Yahaba murmurs, fingers slipping back into the fresh air, back into sight.

“We’re going to try,” Iwaizumi promises.

“You shouldn’t,” Yahaba insists, voice raising slightly, despite how pained it sounds, “You’ll be charged with treason too. And, and, oh God, Iwaizumi it was awful. I think, I think--please don’t call me silly, just please believe me, I think I’ve been cursed.”

“Are they giving you water?” Kyoutani asks.

“I’m not crazy,” Yahaba snaps, “You weren’t there. You didn’t see.”

Iwaizumi feels his heart accelerating, feels the hickey at his neck burn under its bandage. Because he knows what Yahaba probably saw, probably felt. He has a good guess, at least.

“We’re getting you out.” Kyoutani retorts instead, “We can talk later.”

“How?” Yahaba wonders, “They’ve got me in my own section, in the deepest part of the dungeon.”

“Trust us,” Iwaizumi replies instead, “We have a plan. Just stay alert and keep quiet, and do as we say when the time comes. Got that?”

Yahaba doesn’t reply. Kyoutani pokes at one of his fingers, and Yahaba’s darts out, wrapping his index around the other’s fingers in a desperate need to touch another person. Iwaizumi pulls at the grass around him.

“Kyoutani let’s go, we need to prepare for tonight.”

Yahaba lets go with hesitation, fingers disappearing back within the cell and out of sight. Kyoutani stands up, taking a moment to kick at the castle wall until his toes are sore within his boots. Iwaizumi lets him have this, and once Kyoutani places both feet back on the ground, they head back into the castle.

Kyoutani works quietly, for once, following Iwaizumi’s careful instructions: pick up the last bit of of rations Akane left out, pack up the spare travel bags Lord Takahiro lent them, make sure to fill the canteens with water and hide everything in Pumpkin’s stall at the stables.

Iwaizumi sharpens his knife and the dagger Matsukawa gave him from the Hanamaki family collection. He sheathes both and pockets them. He spends his day in the basement, helping servants sort the grains and keeping an eye on the guard by the dungeon entrance. Unfortunately, it’s one of the few people in the castle he isn’t friends with. He supposes the man must not leave this area much.

As the afternoon fades into evening, servants start to disappear from the space for the comfort of their beds. Iwaizumi offers to finish up, receiving gracious thank you’s from his fellow workers. He smiles and nods at them. It’s around this point that Kyoutani joins him in his task, discreetly sorting grains into their own ration pouches.

The guard pays them no mind, Iwaizumi long becoming a fixture of the area since beginning his work near the start of the day. The pair keep their work slow paced, dragging on, waiting and waiting and waiting.

Until, finally, a voice from above interrupts them, “Is there a guard down there!?”

Iwaizumi, Kyoutani and the guard look at each other with surprise at the call, gazes meeting before flying to look towards the stairs. Lord Takahiro rushes down, looking about the room, “I need a guard!”

“What’s the matter, sir?” The guard steps forward nervously, bowing graciously at the sight of the visiting Lord. Iwaizumi and Kyoutani quickly do the same.

“I need help outside, one of our falcons has gotten loose and my attendant needs assistance out there.”

“I can not leave my post, sir.” The guard responds awkwardly.

Lord Takahiro bristles, “I didn’t realize guarding grains was more important than my prize winning falcons, who’s shows, might I remind you, are the royal family’s favorite past times.”

“Sir, I--“

“You’re wasting my time and the King’s money! I can’t believe this!” Lord Takahiro snaps as he raises his voice, stomping his foot for good measure. The guard swallows, glancing at Iwaizumi for aid. Iwaizumi wonders if the guard maybe knows him better than he thought. Iwaizumi gives him a slow nod, and the guard looks a bit more relaxed.

“Okay, sir, please lead the way,” the guard mutters, and Lord Takahiro rushes up the steps with the man at his heels.

Iwaizumi and Kyoutani pad to the dungeon door quickly once the pair are out of sight. The door is locked, as expected, but Kyoutani is quick to kick the door knob clean off. Iwaizumi catches it before it can clang to the floor, setting it aside. They open the door.

It’s pitch black inside the hallway, a few torches illuminating the forms of sleeping prisoners huddled in small cells. Iwaizumi isn’t sure if there’s another guard inside here but he wouldn’t be surprised. He slips his dagger out, holding it ready.

Kyoutani picks up one of the torches from their stands, carrying it with him. Iwaizumi starts counting cells, stepping careful down the damp hall. Each cell is mostly uniform, thick metal bars caging whatever prisoner inside. Once they reach the end of the hallway they find a thick steel door with a small little slit.

Kyoutani crouches down, bringing the fire with him as he tries to peer into the slit. Eyes meet his in the dark, almost making him jump, “Yahaba?”

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Yahaba whispers in turn, fingers darting out of the opening.

“We need to hurry,” Iwaizumi reminds, pushing Kyoutani out of the way to look at the locking mechanism on the door. He frowns, biting his lip as he tries to slip his knife into it, twisting and turning, trying to listen to the tumbles within for some sort of tell tale click.

“There’s a key,” Yahaba murmurs, interrupting his work, “I’ve seen it, they like to hold it out to me when they slip me my rations,” he explains, “Check the walls, I think their might be a loose stone or something? I don’t know, sometimes I hear stone scraping against stone.”

“What’s going on?” Another prisoner shouts from nearby, “Is someone down there?”

Yahaba pulls his fingers back into his cell. Iwaizumi motions for Kyoutani to search the area while he keeps fiddling with the lock.

“Who’s over there? You got any food on ya?” Comes the prisoner’s voice again, growing louder and more persistent. Iwaizumi keeps his head down, working with very little light. Kyoutani has placed the torch in one of the empty stands above, feeling around the walls, clawing at any piece of loose stone, pushing away any bits of straw. He drops to his knees, crawling around the floor, keeping his face close to the ground.

And then he feels it, a stone piece shifts underneath the weight of his hand. He reels back, taking both hands to pry the stone free of the ground. It’s hollow, and inside he sees a thick metal key. He almost barks out a triumphant sound, but shushes himself, handing it over to Iwaizumi quickly.

Iwaizumi slips the key into the lock with ease, opening it up and watching the door creak open noisily. He opens it further, enough for Yahaba to slip in and out. Kyoutani takes back the torch. Yahaba scrambles forward, squinting in the light, holding out his trembling hands to shield himself.

The light isn’t enough to see well, but Iwaizumi can infer that the cell itself is tiny compared to the barred ones that line the hall. Its ceiling too low to stand in, and if you kneeled in the center and spread your arms out, your finger tips would graze the walls. He looks away.

Kyoutani grabs Yahaba, “Can you walk?”

Yahaba leans against him, “I don’t know.”

“Fuck,” Kyoutani hisses, pulling him closer.

“Here, give him to me, I can carry him if we have to,” Iwaizumi whispers, manhandling Yahaba onto his back. Yahaba wraps his thin arms around Iwaizumi’s neck, fingers clutching at him weakly. Iwaizumi hoists him up effortlessly, his gut sinking at how light the taller man was.

How long had Yahaba been here?

This isn’t the time to think about it. Kyoutani takes the lead, scrambling back up the hallway and up the stairs to the basement. There’s no time to close the door behind them. They rush up the steps and into the servant’s hallway, dark now that they’ve all mostly turned in for the night.

They turn the corner, and a maid freezes in front of them, mid yawn, in just her night slip. The trio hold their breath, staring at the frightened woman. She stares right back at them, scream catching in her throat. Her eyes fall on Iwaizumi, gaze flicking up to Yahaba’s before climbing back down to Iwaizumi. She blinks.

“Please, Koto,” Iwaizumi whispers.

Koto’s hands clench into fists up at her chest but she looks down, shuffling away silently back into her room. The trio let out a breath and keep racing down the hall until they reach the servant’s exit and carefully slip outside.

“Get rid of the torch,” Iwaizumi orders, now that they’re bathed by comforting moonlight.

Kyoutani nods, “Meet at the stables.”

Iwaizumi pads through the castle grounds, mindful of the guard’s schedule. He sees a falcon circling the air on the other side of the castle, calming himself a little. The distraction was still on. Hopefully more guards were over there, swept up in whatever farce Lord Takahiro and Matsukawa were fabricating.

He makes it to the stable, depositing Yahaba onto the ground. In the light of the moon the attendant looks worse than he imagined. Ugly purple and yellow bruises color his wrists and ankles. One foot looks twisted in a way Iwaizum is unable to look at for long. His clothes are tattered and caked with god knows what. He smells horrendous, now that Iwaizumi can pay attention to more than just his racing nerves.

Iwaizumi tries to think, fast. Needs a change of plans, “Yahaba, can you stand?”

Yahaba rocks forward onto his knees, using shaky hands to lift himself up from the ground. He favors his good foot as he goes. He grapples at the stall post, using it to straighten himself. Iwaizumi bites his lip. At least Kyoutani had dressed Pumpkin already, loaded and read to go.

“I’m going to lift you up. Swing your legs,” Iwaizumi warns, grabbing Yahaba’s waist and bringing him up into the air. Yahaba grits his teeth as he manages to get onto the horse, gripping her reigns tightly and doing his best to stay up right.

Iwaizumi starts unloading Pumpkin, removing the bags from her saddle. Yahaba stares at him, “What are you doing?”

“Pumpkin’s not gonna ride for long with you, Kyoutani and all of our things on her. I’m moving this stuff onto Lady.”

“Lady? Why Lady?” Yahaba hisses, blinking.

“Good luck charm,” Iwaizumi mutters slipping away to the neighboring stall to dress up the beautiful white mare.

“She’s the most finicky horse we have!” Yahaba snaps in a hushed tone, “This is insane.”

“This whole night is insane,” Iwaizumi counters, grabbing the saddle and reigns.

“There’s still time,” Yahaba murmurs, “You can go back. I can just leave, with Pumpkin, and I won’t say anything about you helping if I get caught. You’ve done more than enough already.”

“You’re greatly misunderstanding our mission, Yahaba,” Iwaizumi mutters, climbing onto Lady and shushing her with a few calming pets, “We’re not just running away. We’re coming back with Prince Tooru in hand.”

Yahaba blinks at him, eyes wide, the whites of them catching in the moonlight, “You don’t understand,” he shudders, “Prince Tooru is gone. It took him, Iwaizumi, no one believes me but it took him.”

“A demon?” Iwaizumi huffs, tone unimpressed.

Yahaba looks like he’s seen a ghost, all color draining from his face as he stares at the man in utter disbelief, “H-how? How did you know?”

Iwaizumi shrugs, “A hunch.”

They’re interrupted by a loud piercing scream from the other side of the castle, as light pours from the corner of the grounds. Thick black plumes of smoke billow out into the air as flames grow taller and taller.

“That idiot,” Iwaizumi spits under his breath, straining to look in the dark. He spots Kyoutani, rushing toward them, stopping only a moment to swing onto the horse, right behind Yahaba. Iwaizumi pulls Lady to attention, “What did you just do?”

“Thought the orchards needed some more light,” Kyoutani’s grin is manic, “And I got all the guards to run over there instead of the gate, so save your scolding until later, ok?”

Iwaizumi lets out a huff, but kicks his horse into a gallop. Kyoutani mirrors him on Pumpkin, arms caging Yahaba to take hold of the reigns. The fire blazes behind them, and with the growing chaos Kyoutani loses all desire for secrecy. He turns his head back, letting out a celebratory whoop and shriek, “Kiss my ass you privileged fucks!”

Yahaba manages to elbow him into submission before he can start chanting, “Anarchy! Anarchy!”

Iwaizumi feels a headache brewing at his temple, but he ignores it. He keeps his head forward, his grip on the reigns tight, and weaves down the path. Leaving the Aoba Johsai castle grounds. Leaving the place he’d called home for so many years of his life. Setting his sights for the nearby border.

Never does he feel any sort of need to look back.

---------------------

Iwaizumi kneels by the river bank, leaning forward to refill their canteens. The morning light filters through the trees, dappling his skin with a myriad of dark spots. Once they’re full, he cups some water in his hands, splashing it onto his face and rubbing the clear liquid into his tired eyes.

They had spent the past few days riding, keeping to the dense forests and out of sight. But travel was slow when there were no paths for the horses to follow. That, and Yahaba had to regain his strength. He was exhausted, limbs jittery and still weak.

Iwaizumi glances over to his companions, a few paces away from the river bank, by the tree where they had tied their horses nearby to graze. Yahaba sits, back leaning against a solid trunk, eyes squeezed shut in pain. Kyoutani kneels by him, wrapping clean cloth tightly around the splint on Yahaba’s left ankle, securing it with a rough knot. Yahaba lets out a hiss.

Iwaizumi wanders back over to them, offering Yahaba a canteen he greedily takes.

“What the hell did they do to you in that cell?” Kyoutani growls, chewing at his lip once he finishes looking over Yahaba’s multitude of wounds.

“Nothing,” Yahaba murmurs, swallowing down another gulp of water, “Most of this is from before.”

“Before?” Iwaizumi asks, sitting down beside him.

Yahaba nods, sitting up with a new surge of energy, having slept for most of the journey until this much needed break, “After, it all happened. They arrested me immediately, and we still had, you know, three days journey to get back to the castle. And, well, they kept questioning me and I, I had nothing to give them. Well, nothing they would accept.”

Iwaizumi grimaces, “Can you, can you tell me again what happened?”

Yahaba sighs, running fingers through his light colored hair, “It’s, it’s a blur. It was awful. I remember everything was normal, the Prince said goodnight. We were in one of the nicer roomier wagons, and the prince was curling himself up in his bed cot. And then, I think, I went to bed too, on the floor nearby like usual. And then there was like, a scream. I can’t describe it. It was just, a terrible noise that cuts right through you. It woke me up and there was blood everywhere and the Prince was gone, Iwaizumi. Just, gone. And instead there was, there was a monster, and we looked at each other and, I felt this, this pressure. It pushed me back I couldn’t move! And it, it just, it disappeared into the night,” Yahaba takes in a shaky breath, “The monster, it left, it left this dagger in the room. It must have been what it used on the Prince and,” he chokes a little, on his words, “I don’t know if the Prince is alive or just dea-“

“He’s not dead,” Iwaizumi interrupts, turning to face Yahaba completely, “He’s not dead.”

But Yahaba does not look comforted by his words. He looks scared, eyes caught on Iwaizumi’s throat, trembling hand rising, “What, what’s wrong with your neck?”

Iwaizumi covers his hickey self consciously, his fingers touching his bare skin rather than the bandage he’d  wrapped it in. His face flames up. The cloth most have fallen off when he’d washed his face. Shouldn’t the mark have faded away by now? And why would an embarrassing bruise send Yahaba into another fit of panic?

The answer to this becomes clearer when the attendant raises his voice, “Iwaizumi! Why do you have a, a pentagram on your neck?”

“What?” Iwaizumi blinks, lifting his hand away and craning his neck to see. Of course it was physically impossible for him to do so.

Kyoutani pushes his way into the conversation, roughly moving Iwaizumi’s face the other way to get a look for himself. “Holy shit,” he exclaims, “This is what you were hiding? I thought you just didn’t want the world to see your gross hickey.”

Iwaizumi slaps his hand away, standing up to stalk back over to the river, “I don’t know what either of you are talking about,” he snaps. He leans down, peering at the water, but the current keeps his image too distorted to see anything.

Iwaizumi gives up, climbing back up to his companions with a furrowed brow. Yahaba looks at him warily, Kyoutani with confusion.

“Look, I don’t know what’s going on either ok. But there’s, there’s just a ton of stuff going on right now. We need to stay focus. What matters now is finding Prince Tooru.”

“Did a demon curse you?” Yahaba asks, “Was a demon following Prince Tooru and that’s why, why it took him? Kyouken stop looking at me like I’m insane! I’m not!”

Lady rears back suddenly, from her spot nearby, letting out a shrill neigh in surprise. The trio whirl around, eyes wide. Kyoutani grabs for the dagger, Iwaizumi covers his neck with his hand and Yahaba tries to hide his splinted leg from view. They’re tense as the horse rears up and down, shaking out it’s neck and neighing.

But she does not seem alarmed. She seems...excited?

“Lady, Lady is that you?”

Iwaizumi stands up like a bolt because he knows that voice. Yahaba stares at him fearfully, back pressing tighter against the tree as if it could help.

“Search the area,” the man orders, petting the horse to calmness once more.

“Shit,” Iwaizumi curses, dropping back down to rip off a strip of cloth to tie aroumd his neck.

‘We have to run for it!” Kyoutani growls.

“It’s too late,” Iwaizumi snaps back, knowing running away at this point would only cause an armed chase, “Just, just follow my lead.” He takes a calming breath before stepping out of his cover, into the man’s direct eye sight “Prince Wakatoshi, it is good to see you.”

Prince Wakatoshi stares at him in surprise, “Iwaizumi?”

“I apologize, I did not realize we had crossed the border alre-“

“We?” Ushijima questions, walking briskly over to him, “Is he with you? Do you know where he is? You must tell me everything.”

Iwaizumi feels his heartbeat calm upon the realization that word of his crime and treason had not spread to the neighboring kingdom. For once he thanks the King’s penchant for paranoia for saving his skin, “He’s not with me,” he murmurs back, “But I assume you had the same idea as me?”

Ushijima’s eyes look disappointed at the news, but his expression remains as blank as ever. Still, his hands are heavy on Iwaizumi’s shoulders, tense.

“We found more intruders, sire!” a knight calls.

“My companions,” Iwaizumi corrects, quickly.

Ushijima nods, eyes darting over to the two teens beeing shoved closer, “Is that, is that Yahaba?” Iwaizumi nods in turn. Ushijima releases him, finally, “I think it best we all talk. Gather your things, we’ll escort you back to the castle.”

“Did we venture that far from the border? My mistake, sire. I am very sorry for the intrusion.”

Ushijima narrows his eyes at him, “Do you think me a fool, Iwaizumi?”

Iwaizumi feels a cold sweat begin to bead at the back of his neck, but he keeps his eyes level with the Prince’s.

Ushijima looks away to bark out more commands at his knights, and before Iwaizumi has time to check in with either of his friends, the three of them are being flanked by the impressive Shiratorizawa guard. Their lances glint in the sunlight, and for once Kyoutani keeps his mouth shut and head down.

It is evening by the time they are ushered into the castle. Ushijima has the foresight to bring them in unannounced, through a side hallway directly up to the empty guest quarters. They are shoved into a room that Iwaizumi quickly recognizes as Oikawa’s private quarters.

Ushijima stays with them, taking a seat on one of the armchairs. Kyoutani helps Yahaba into the bed to get off his sore ankle. Iwaizumi turns to Ushijima deciding to remain standing. He holds his hands behind his back to hide his nervous fiddling.

He can never quite tell where he stands with Prince Wakatoshi Ushijima. Best to play it as safe as possible. He waits for the Prince to address him, to lead the conversation. He can stand the awkward silence until then, interrupted only by Kyoutani and Yahaba’s quiet murmuring to one another.

After a moment, the Prince begins, “I assume you believe he is alive as well?”

“I know he’s alive,” Iwaizumi replies.

“Because the body was never found?”

“Because I would know if he was dead. I can’t explain it better than that,”

Ushijima frowns, leaning back in his chair, “If he’s out there, he’s no longer in Shiratorizawa. I have scoured every inch of this kingdom, twice, and nothing.” He pauses a moment, taking his time to take in Iwaizumi carefully, “If you know anything, anything at all about Tooru’s whereabouts, you must tell me.”

“He was taken,” Yahaba mutters, from his place in bed. He looks exhausted, face tinged red with fever from the whole ordeal he’s suffered, “Demon, took him. I saw it, Prince Wakatoshi, you must believe me.”

Iwaizumi curses inwardly, but tries not to react to the outburst. Ushijima looks incredibly intrigued by Yahaba’s words, “Demons?” he repeats, eyes flicking over to the stacks and stacks of books Oikawa keeps in his room.

“Prince Wakatoshi,” Iwaizumi starts, stepping to block his line of sight, “What do you know?”

Ushijima squints at him, “I know my fiancé has gone missing and is presumed dead, and that I wish to find him and secure his safety as soon as possible.”

Iwaizumi swallows, “Do you have any idea why Prince Tooru would want to run off?”

“He was taken!” Yahaba calls from the bed, insistent.

The Prince ignores him in favor of narrowing his eyes further at Iwaizumi, “I understand what you are implying, and I am offended by your tone. Might I remind you that I found you trespassing in my kingdom, with weapons and what I can only presume to be stolen goods? I do not like dancing around issues. If you have something to say, say it outright.”

There is something in Ushijima’s superior attitude, in the way his eyes bore down in Iwaizumi that makes him feel inferior. That in the grand scheme of things, it is Ushijima who will be remembered, and Iwaizumi who will be forgotten. That there is no question who wins this battle. That Iwaizumi had lost the moment he was born, two months before Ushijima, but leagues beneath him, found amongst dirt and garbage. And this feeling kindles a flame in Iwaizumi’s chest, a need to fire back, to prove himself, to show that he is more than what is expected of him. That he does matter, that he can win. That he has won.

And it’s a feeling that makes his lips loose and his tone righteous and angry, and it makes him spit out, “Prince Tooru does not love you.”

Ushijima is not affected by the words, not in the way Iwaizumi expects, “Love was never a part of this equation. Love is something commoners are privileged to, not something ever even alluded to in my circles,” Ushijima snaps, “I have known Prince Tooru for my entire life, have been engaged to him for eight years, do you think I ever believed he loved me?”

Iwaizumi looks away.

“I have no interest in playing a game of who knows Oikawa best. We both have the same aim, I do not see why we can not work together and share information,” the Prince’s golden eyes flare a moment, as he adds, “And if you believe the idea of being wed to me is what sent him off, you are terribly mistaken.”

Iwaizumi grits his teeth, “How can you be so oblivious? He was miserable! Of course that’s why he’s gone off!”

“You were never privy to our talks. We had the issue settled . We knew where each other stood. Once Prince Tooru’s father finally passed or abdicated we agreed Tooru could just move back home and help advise his brother during his reign. The marriage would stay only for diplomacy’s sake. It was his idea. Our wedding could not be the reason for his disappearance. Something else must have triggered it.”

“The Queen died,” Kyoutani offers from his perch beside Yahaba’s drowsy form.

Ushijima shakes his head, “When I spoke with him at the funeral a few weeks ago he seemed eager to leave the somber castle and wished for a distraction. Something else must have happened too.”

Iwaizumi feels his heart clench, feels the bruise on his neck pulse painfully. Guilt swirls in his stomach at his own realization, rising up in his throat like bile that he he forces himself to swallow down.

“He was taken,” Yahaba insists, fighting to keep his eyes open, “I saw it. A monster, blood everywhere. He didn’t just go. Why won’t you believe me? Why won’t anyone believe me?”

“I believe in what you saw, Yahaba,” Iwaizumi says carefully, eyeing Ushijima.

Prince Wakatoshi nods, getting up and taking one of the books off of Oikawa’s desk, “I do not doubt demons were involved in this if that is what you saw. But I am sure that Tooru left of his own volition and that he therefore must be alive.”

“This conversation makes no fucking sense,” Kyoutani growls, “How do you know he’s alive if you believe a demon attacked him?”

Iwaizumi says nothing.

“The demon was not attacking him,” Prince Wakatoshi explains, closing the book in his hands, “It was making a pact with him.”

Iwaizumi still says nothing.

------------------------

They spend a few days hiding out in the Shiratorizawa castle. Yahaba feels his strength return to him, fed on more than just measly rations, in a warm dry bed. Kyoutani stays on his best behavior, keeping Yahaba company with only a few complaints here and there.

Iwaizumi spends the days with Ushijima, pouring over the books in Oikawa’s collection, mapping out possible areas to investigate. Ushijima lends him a map of Miyagi for these purposes, helping him carve out a route that would keep them unseen.

“Hug the river,” Ushijima advises, following the blue line along the map, “Keep to the forests that border it.  We’re close to the Harvest, so most people will be working their farms and preparing for the festivals. There shouldn’t be many people out hunting at all.”

“This path runs through two cities,” Iwaizumi points out, tapping them on the map with a frown.

“They’re small towns. There is no perfect path to Karasuno, this one has the least obstacles for you. I would advise continuing right through the town, avoiding them would add weeks to your journey.”

Iwaizumi frowns, crossing his arms as he studies the map, “Any advice for not coming off as foreigners?”

“My people are hard workers, loyal and kind. You all should be fine,” Ushijima pauses a moment, then adds with a sterner tone, “Do not dare steal from my people. I will take it as a personal affront.”

Iwaizumi raises his hands up, “I’m not really the stealing type.”

“And your lackey?”

“Kyoutani’s a good kid once you get to know him,” Iwaizumi assures.

Ushijima does not look convinced but decides to drop the issue in favor of opening up a thick book onto of the map. He flips the pages to a rough sketch of a forest. He maneuvers the book further down the map scroll, trying to match it to a location.

“This forest, the one that seems to be a concentration of demon activity, I have a few ideas where it could be,” Ushijima starts, “There are two possibilities,” he points with his finger at the forest bordering Karasuno and Nekoma, “It could be this one, which is also the sight of the never ending territory dispute. There is a lot of dark energy here, a lot of unnecessary death. I would not be surprised if it was teeming with demons because of it.

“However, it could also be here,” Ushijima continues, finger dragging past Nekoma, near the edge of Ushijima’s map into the Fukurodani Kingdom, “There is a lot less sources discussing this area, we unfortunately do not have a partnership with their library, but this forest could also be the one spoken of in the accounts. But, it will be a lot more difficult to get to and will take several more weeks.”

Iwaizumi rubs the bandage on his neck, biting his lip as a name is whispered into his ear. A memory, “He’s there,” he murmurs, pointing at the forest in Fukurodani, “He’s definitely there. Or at least heading there.”

“How are you certain?” Ushijima asks.

“Akaashi Keiji,” Iwaizumi responds.

Ushijima waits for further explanation, but receives none. He sighs, cracking his neck and taking up his pen to mark the spot on the map, “Alright well, I can only offer advice through Karasuno, once you enter Nekoma and beyond, I have no expertise to lend.”

“That’s alright,” Iwaizumi murmurs.

“I still believe you should hit up the border forest, just be careful when you do. I would not be surprised if people there are wary of outsiders and easy to anger. Keep a low profile.”

Iwaizumi nods, “Thanks, this is really helpful.”

Ushijima hums in agreement, “How are you hoping to bring him back if you find him?”

“When I find him,” Iwaizumi corrects, rolling up the map tightly in his hand and slipping it under his shirt safely, “I’m not worried about that part. I’ll knock some sense in to him, don’t worry.”

Ushijima purses his lips in thought, “I am afraid this is the most I can do for you. I regret that I am not able to accompany you. But what with growing tensions from Aoba Johsai, I--“

“It’s alright. You’ve done more than enough. Thank you.”

Ushijima nods, closing the thick book, fingers slightly fiddly as he tries to think of the best words to express the complex emotion wishing to come out of him.

“Iwaizumi,” he starts, carefully, eyes resting on Iwaizumi, “bring him back safely.”

“I will.” Iwaizumi says, and when he says it it feels like a promise. Ushijima straightens up his shoulders in turn giving another silent nod, and letting out the breath he had not realized he was holding.

------------------------

“Don’t grip it so tightly,” Kyoutani snaps, “Just enough so it doesn’t slip out of your hands.”

“You death grip everything you hold,” Yahaba counters, “It’s confusing.”

Kyoutani growls under his breath, lowering Yahaba’s arm slightly to correct his stance, “Ok, now the thing with daggers is you need to use your speed to get the upper hand. Your blade is small, you need to get close before they realize what’s coming.”

“Right,” Yahaba nods, fingers squeezing the daggers grip experimentally. He lunges forward, taking quick steps, bringing the dagger down in an arc. His sudden movement has the blade thrown out of his grip entirely, embedding into the ground near Iwaizumi.

“Suggestion,” Iwaizumi calls out, plucking the knife from the ground, “We practice with sticks.”

Yahaba reddens a little, “He told me not to hold on to it tight!”

“I didn’t tell you to throw it, dumbass!” Kyoutani barks back, red himself.

“If you guys have so much energy to fight, shouldn’t we be moving on?” Iwaizumi wonders aloud.

The two teens grumble something about the horses being tired, and Iwaizumi chuckles to himself. He returns his gaze back to the unfurled map on the ground, marking off where they had stopped for the day. It had been about two week and a half since they left the Shiratorizawa mansion and they had made decent progress.

They had just passed through the second town, where they had spent the night at a local inn. The people were just as Ushijima described, and as long as they mentioned nothing about politics nor demons, everything was fine. The people were all too busy to worry about three poor travelers passing through.

The villagers raced around, collecting supplies and building stalls for the upcoming festival to celebrate the Goddess of Harvest and her bounty. Iwaizumi, himself, had never heard of the deity and simply nodded and smiled whenever she was mentioned.

With those two obstacles traverse, they would soon be leaving Shiratorizawa to cross into the Karasuno border. In other words, they would be leaving Ushijima’s protection. The Prince had given each of them a signed certificate giving them permission to travel within the kingdom, only to be used if they were questioned or barred entry anywhere necessary. Luckily they hadn’t needed to use it.

There were no such safe guards in Karasuno. Furthermore, Iwaizumi knew very little of Nekoma and even less of Fukurodani. Soon, they would be completely on their own.

He tries not to think of it that way. Focuses on the task at hand. Finding Oikawa and bringing him back.

A sharp pain blossoms on his shoulder and he lets out a shout. He turns his head, hand clutching at his bleeding shoulder. Yahaba and Kyoutani are upon him in seconds shouting apologies and curses, respectively.

“What did I say about using the dagger!” Iwaizumi snaps, now that he’s realized what’s happened. He tries to calm himself, because although painful, he can tell it’s a minor cut. It was more the surprise of it than anything.

And then the world goes black.

He blinks his eyes open, finds himself somewhere he’s never been before. It is dark, inhumanely dark, but for some reason he can see. There are figures all around him, looking at him curiously, grins manic and bright and fanged.

Iwaizumi backs away, pressing against a tall tree, it’s bark rough and it’s leaves like needles. He’s not used to trees like this. Just where the hell is he? Where the hell were Yahaba and Kindaichi? He looks around, foreign faces creeping closer, and he feels himself compelling them away, urging them to leave him be, pushing at them without lifting a finger.

And then he’s back, by the river, clutching his bleeding shoulder. Well, actually, he is now knee deep in the river, staring at his disheveled reflection in the rippling water. He blinks, lifting his head up to look back at a wary Yahaba and Kindaichi.

“Did you guys push me into the river?” Iwaizumi asks, perplexed, shoulders slumping.

Yahaba and Kyoutani look at each other in disbelief. “Are you serious?” Kyoutani snaps back.

“What?”

Yahaba creeps closer to him, reaching a hand out to him, “Iwaizumi, are you alright?”

“Of course, well, other than the scratch on my shoulder.”

Yahaba takes his hand, helping back onto dry ground, “You, you freaked out for a moment.”

“I did?”

“Yeah, you, you snarled at us, is the best way I can describe it. Kind of like, KyouKen does but more vicious and less silly.”

“Shut up, Yahaba.” Kyoutani snarls.

“That’s weird. I don’t...For a second there, it felt like, I was somewhere else. But, I...Weird, I can’t remember, exactly why?” Iwaizumi lifts his hand to rub at his temple.

Yahaba helps him sit back down, giving him some water to drink, “I think we’re all just tired. We should turn in early.”

Iwaizumi agrees, mind feeling a bit foggy with confusion. But as they all lay down to sleep his thoughts keep him awake. He searches for the images he had seen, searches for some sort of explanation for the weird episode. His neck burns, his shoulder stings, and the world seems much too loud to find any sort of peace in.

Worst of all he can hear his companions whispering to each other well into the night.

“Shouldn’t we have told him?”

“I didn’t want to upset him any further. He looked so confused.”

“Yeah, well, I’m confused too and would like some damn answers,” Kyoutani hisses, “He looked like he was going to kill us.”

“He was muttering to himself: are you ok? what’s wrong? oh god, you’re fine, you’re fine, don’t worry me like that, you’re fine.” Yahaba shudders.

Iwaizumi furrows his brows in his feigned sleep. He turns over, away from the teens and curling up slightly. His movement makes the other boys quiet down. His fingers come to rest at his neck, massaging at the cloth wrapped around his skin. It’s warm under his touch. He bites his lip.

---------------------

They had been lucky for most of their journey. Incredibly lucky. But days into passing the Karasuno border, their luck seems to end. They’e not equipped for this. They’re tired, hungry, outnumbered. What lies ahead of them could be a squadron of Karasuno’s best knights, or it could be some measly vagrants. Iwaizumi was not in the mood to gamble.

“Stay down!” Iwaizumi orders, voice rough as he ducks to the ground. There are voices in the distance, shouting and laughing, metal clinking against each other.

“Iwaizumi,” Yahaba hisses, “What about the horses?”

“Leave them,” Iwaizumi hisses.

“We can’t leave them,” Kyoutani argues, “They’ll die.”

“Not to mention all of our supplies,” Yahaba agrees.

Iwaizumi stares at them, “Do you value that more than your own lives?” More shouts surround them and Iwaizumi shoves Kyoutani and Yahaba lower to the ground. He stretches his arm, cutting the horses loose with the sword Ushijima had lent him.

The horses rear up in panic, already nervous from the growing tension in the air. They gallop away, despite Kyoutani’s desperate reach for them. Iwaizumi grabs him by the back of his collar, hauling him up and into the river. Kyoutani stumbles into it, slipping in the mud and grasping at the bank to keep from washing away.

“Iwaizumi, what are you doing!” Yahaba cries, as he too is unceremoniously shoved into the water. He falls onto Kyoutani, who looses his grip. Luckily, Yahaba latches onto the bank and Kyoutani is able to grab at his other arm to keep from being pulled by the current.

“Iwaizumi!”

“Let go!” Iwaizumi shouts, but before he can say any further, or jump in himself, he is surrounded by rough bandits. He draws out his sword, holding it out defensively as they circle him. Fear grips his heart and he takes in a breath. He blinks his eyes closed for a calming moment and braces himself.

He is a knight of Aoba Johsai.

He will not be taken lightly.

The bandits surge at him, their movements untrained and clunky. He dodges them, footwork second nature as he moves around the field, swiping and lunging as necessary. He cuts away a few, realizing his advantage in skill quickly. But what the bandits lack in finesse, they win in numbers. Iwaizumi can not protect all sides of himself at once, and soon they wear away at his defenses. A nick at the back of his leg unbalances him, a swipe at his chest rips open his shirt, a pommel slams into his head, dizzying him.

The ground is slick from the recent rain and his foot slips, sending him crashing down. He scrambles, drawing up his sword. A bandit falls on him, impaling himself with a screech. Iwaizumi rolls away quickly with a start, abandoning the weapon like a fool. Another bandit runs toward him, and he braces himself. But the attack never comes. She falls to the ground instead, limp, a dagger embedded deeply in her back.

Iwaizumi sees Yahaba, mud covered and breathing heavy. The teen glares at him, rushing forward to pry the dagger free again, “Don’t you dare throw us away like that again!” he shouts, “We can hold our own too!”

“Shigeru!” Kyoutani shouts, grabbing his arm to pull him away from another bandit, lunging his sword at the attacker in turn. It slices into the stranger’s leg, bringing her down with a pained wail.

Iwaizumi rushes to his feet, blood pumping in his ears now that its not just himself he needs to protect. He grabs for his sword, using his foot as leverage on the impaled body to draw it free. He holds it up, sees his dirty face reflected in its bloody blade, and shakes his head free of any further thoughts.

Yahaba and Kyoutani fight together, with the former surging forward, nimble healed feet working to swipe at the target with quick superficial distractions before Kyoutani can step in and cut away with his sword.

Iwaizumi slices at another bandit, expertly driving his sword into his chest, watching the man slump against him. And by then it seems the rest of the stragglers have gotten the message, retreating away, dragging their wounded with them.

When there is finally peace again, Iwaizumi lets out a sigh of relief. Fingers dig into his black hair as he tries to calm his adrenaline down. His hair, he realizes, has grown longer during his journey. He drags his hand down to wipe the sweat of his brow, taking a deep breath.

He hears words reverberating in his mind, are you ok?

He supposes it’s his mind reminding himself to check for any wounds. Luckily, it seems he came out of the fight mostly unscathed. Perhaps their luck had yet to run out. He turns to his companions to make sure its same for them.

Yahaba is giddy, laughing the adrenaline off as he comes out of his first battle unwounded, “We’re alive!” he shouts in a breathy laugh. Kyoutani has a cut below his eye that beads up with blood, but that seems about it. Yahaba wipes the blood away with his thumb, a giggle still caught on his lips.

Kyoutani grabs his face, crushing their lips together with more force than necessary. Yahaba lets out a squawk, but wraps his arms around the blond for leverage, pulling him closer. The kiss is sloppy, untrained, but with the unrestrained desperation of two boys in need of each other and in a world of their own.

Iwaizumi thinks of Oikawa.

He kicks dirt at the teenagers, bringing them back, “Congratulations, but we need to head out before those vagrants decide to avenge their friends.”

Kyoutani growls at him, ears red, having just remembered Iwaizumi’s presence. Yahaba quickly stands up, face flushed. He nods quickly, silently, as if Kyoutani had swallowed up all his words. His eyes get caught on the blood staining the dirt around him, which in turn leads him to take in the battle field he’d mostly chosen to ignore once the threat had left him. A hand comes up to his mouth in horror at the realization.

He had killed someone.

Nausea builds up behind his hand and the attendant staggers away to the river to empty his stomach. Iwaizumi stops Kyoutani from running after him, holding his forearm, “Let him be,” he says, “It’s gonna take him a moment to accept what’s happened.”

Kyoutani huffs, staying put, “They attacked us.”

“They were still people,” Iwaizumi reminds, “Don’t think so little of your enemies. They deserve your respect.”

Kyoutani pulls his arm free, glaring at the ground. Iwaizumi squeezes his shoulder, and he finds a smirk decorating his features as he leans in, “Shigeru, huh?”

“Fuck off, Iwaizumi,” Kyoutani shouts, blush creeping past his ears to overtake his face as he swats the man away angrily. Iwaizumi ruffles his blond hair in turn, dodging the other’s swipes at him.

“Go wash off all that mud. I’ll go check on Yahaba,” Iwaizumi continues, patting him on the shoulder.

He finds Yahaba sitting at the river bank, hands cupping his face as his shoulders tremble. Iwaizumi takes a seat beside him, watching the river flow beneath him, unimpeded, unbothered, calm and sure.

After a beat of silence, the attendant glances over at him. “I’ve never killed anyone before,” Yahaba murmurs, fingers shifting up into his hair to tug at the light colored strands.

Iwaizumi rests a hand on his shoulder, squeezing, “That’s a good thing.”

“You both, you didn’t even react.”

“After a while, you get numb to it. You have to, when you’re out there. I’m not saying thats a good thing, it’s just, well, it’s the way it is.”

Yahaba rubs his eyes with the back of his hand, taking in a shaky breath, “We need to go, don’t we? I’m slowing you down again.”

“You’re not slowing us down.” Iwaizumi assures, “You’re keeping us mindful.”

“You say that, and yet, you were ready to throw us both away.”

Iwaizumi winces, face scrunching up at the accusation. He stands up, brushing dirt off his butt, “I didn’t throw you away. I wasn’t sure how bad it would get. I wanted to make sure you’d be safe,” he offers his hand down, helping pull Yahaba up once he takes it, “I didn’t know you’d improved your aim so fast.”

Yahaba smiles, shaky, “I just needed to get used to the weight of a dagger. Aim was something Prince Tooru drilled in me during archery practice,” he falters, smile fading from his lips at the memory. The name hangs in the air between them and neither decide to comment on it.  

Iwaizumi turns away, “Come on, we really do need to leave. I want to get out of this cursed forest. It’s teeming with more outlaws than I thought.”

Yahaba swallows, nodding, following after him as they rejoin Kyoutani further ahead. Iwaizumi takes the lead, letting Kyoutani fall into step with Yahaba. Yahaba nudges his elbow with his own and Kyoutani returns the favor with slightly more force. The smile cracks on Yahaba’s face once more, much more sincere and Iwaizumi focuses back on the path ahead.

“If only we had our horses,” Kyoutani grumbles.

Iwaizumi decides not to deem the dig with a response. The trio walk in silence, moving away from the river to the outskirts of the forest. Iwaizumi would rather not be ambushed again, he would like to keep an open view. They would slip back in only to sleep. No more interruptions.

“Hurry up, dumbass!”

The trio freeze, and Iwaizumi nudges them back into the darker woods, ducking them all behind a thick tree. Hoofbeats echo onto the path before them, pausing a few paces ahead.

“They came from here, so, so, he must be here,” the angry voice insists, and Iwaizumi shares a startled glance with Yahaba’s wide eyes.

Another voice joins the first, “You know, it’s hard to keep up with you and drag these other horses with me Kageyama! Oi, what’s with the face! You want to go?”

“It’s not just any horse! It’s Lady! Are you an idiot? It means he’s here!”

“Alright, alright, we’ll look I guess. But we need to reach Lord Kei’s castle before nightfall or my dads will be angry.”

Iwaizumi bites his lips, weighs his options, wonders if this is a blessing or a one way ticket back to the Aoba Johsai dungeon. Yahaba nudges him, giving him a nod. Iwaizumi sighs, and steps out of their cover.

The Princes startle in front of him, interrupted mid-argument. Prince Shouyou draws his sword clumsily, hackles rising in surprise. Prince Tobio stares at him, “Iwaizumi?!”

Prince Shouyou lowers his sword, “Huh?”

Prince Tobio slips off his horse, “What are you doing in Karasuno?”

Iwaizumi remembers to bow, for good measure, “It is good to see you again, sire.” He responds, “I did not expect to find you here either.”

Prince Tobio flicks his gaze out to the forest behind him, “Is he, is he with you?”

Iwaizumi swallows, “No.”

Prince Tobio’s face twists further into a scowl that Iwaizumi has become familiar enough with to call it grief, “Did father send you to bring me back?”

Iwaizumi blinks, shaking his head, “Prince Tobio, I am here of my own volition.”

“Oh wait! I know you!” Prince Shouyou exclaims, “You were the really cool knight.”

Iwaizumi ignores him, keeping his gaze on his prince, “You believe Prince Tooru is alive, too?”

Prince Tobio looks away, “I know it’s, it’s silly, it’s been weeks,”

“It’s not silly,” Iwaizumi places a hand on his shoulder, pausing a moment before continuing, “Will you accompany us through Karasuno? I will tell you everything I know. We all will.”

Prince Tobio looks back over at the admission, eyes widening as he sees Yahaba and Kyoutani step out of their cover to join them. Prince Shouyou lets out a surprised noise.

“Yahaba?” Prince Tobio murmurs, eyebrows furrowing tightly against his eyes, “You’re...You’re here?”

Yahaba bows deeply, legs trembling, mouth moving anxiously before he has time to think of a proper greeting, “Sire, please, believe me, I would never ever harm Prince Tooru. The charges against me are a lie, please, please believe me.”

“Iwaizumi, did you, did you--?” Prince Tobio asks, taking a step back.

“Prince Tobio, we are here because we know where Prince Tooru is and we are going to bring him back,” Iwaizumi says carefully, bring his hands back to his sides.

Prince Tobio backs away further, face a painting of confusion, “Were you the one...Oh God, Father has been...I...”

Yahaba steps forward beside Iwaizumi, “Prince Tobio, we are here to help you.”

Iwaizumi nods, “Let us help you.”

Prince Tobio looks back over to Prince Shouyou who shrugs, nudging him forward. Prince Tobio grits his teeth, flushing slightly despite his glower, “Alright, we, we need to talk. Follow us.”

------------------------------

“I was not expecting so many guests, Prince Shouyou,” Lord Kei states icily, “Nor in such a...disgusting state.”

Iwaizumi steps on Kyoutani’s foot to prevent him from barking something rude out.

Lord Kei notices this but decides not to deem it with a response. Instead, he sweeps his eyes across them, distrustfully but with a hint of amusement, “Well, I suppose I can’t argue with a Prince, let alone two,” he sighs, “Yamaguchi! Draw our guests’ servants a bath and get them cleaned up. They can meet up with us in the drawing room when they are presentable.”

Iwaizumi grits his teeth behind his smile. What a rotten attitude from a Lord, he thinks, especially one so young. He’s certain he’s about Prince Tobio’s age. Tall people were absolutely insufferable.

A sweet servant boy, Yamaguchi, Iwaizumi presumes, makes his way over to them with a shy smile. He leads them out to the baths and helps draw them water. It is a welcome luxury, after weeks toiling on the road, to relax in warm water and wash the grime off their skin.

When they dry off and are presented a clean change of servant’s clothes, Iwaizumi dares to ask for some scissors and a razor. Finally, he is able to give himself a proper shave, with a sharp clean blade. He rubs at his smooth skin with a sigh of relief.

Yahaba cuts Iwaizumi’s hair, as neat as he can. Kyoutani lets him do the same, grumbling a bit about watching out for his ears. Yahaba leaves his own hair be, other than to snip at his bangs to keep his vision clear.

They are lead into a drawing room. Iwaizumi appreciates the beauty of the interior, rich oranges and dark woods creating a warm environment of luxury. He wonders if Karasuno had grown richer in the four years since his last visited, or if the Tsukishima manor had better taste than the castle proper.

The nobles sit on cushions facing around a long table. Yamaguchi offers the entering guests cushions of their own, lining them up by the wall, out of sight.

“So you’re asking me a favor? You wish me to lie?” Lord Kei murmurs, hands leaning back to support himself.

“It’s not lying,” Prince Shouyou insists, “Just, stretching the truth. Only a little!”

“And why should I lie for the sake of a foreigner? Prince or not? Oh wait, or are you King by now?”

Prince Tobio bristles, teeth gritting, “I am not the King.”

“My mistake,” Lord Kei chuckles, eyes flashing, “You must forgive my confusion. Aoba Johsai has been quite a mess recently hasn’t it?”

Prince Tobio’s glare is fierce enough to make Prince Shouyou shrink beside him.

Lord Kei is unaffected, smiling cooly, “How many down now? First the Queen, then the First Son, and now the King’s gone mad, hasn’t he?”

Prince Tobio stands up in his fury, but Lord Kei meets him there, towering over him, “I don’t understand your anger, Prince Tobio. Isn’t this quite the stroke of luck for you? To ascend so quickly, so easily? It’s like the stars have aligned to make you King.”

Prince Tobio grabs him by the collar, bring him down to his height. Lord Kei smiles, keeping his hands at his sides, “Unless, perhaps, Prince Tobio has no wish to be King at all? And that is why he runs from his kingdom? When they’ve fallen into chaos and need him most?

“Or is it, maybe, because the people would rather have chaos, then a selfish King they have no love for at all?”

Iwaizumi is at his own boiling point, hearing a noble talk trash of his kingdom, but before he can step in Prince Shouyou stands up, pulling the two apart, “Might I remind you that I am still here and I am in charge of this kingdom,” he snaps, “Prince Tobio has his reasons. And this favor is to better his kingdom if you’re so concerned about it, Tsukishima. Now if you want to have a fight we can go outside. I’ll take you!”

Lord Kei blinks at the outburst, letting out a light chuckle, “You’re always so amusing, Prince Shouyou,” he murmurs as the redhead scowls at him, “I supposed I would have to follow any favor asked of me by the beloved Sun Prince of Karasuno, wouldn’t I? Though I do not see why helping Aoba Johsai from falling into collapse would be at all beneficial for us.”

“Strengthens our ties!” Prince Shouyou explains, pulling a scowling Prince Tobio closer to his side with a grin, “I’m a master of diplomacy, so just trust me, ok?”

“Right,” Lord Kei says, “I will give your servants provisions for their journey. And I will tell the Kings, if they ask, that you have lengthened your stay in my company. Is that all?”

It is. So, Lord Kei excuses himself into the hall, followed by a scampering Yamaguchi. Iwaizumi can’t help leaning out his head to follow them with his gaze, catching snippets of their conversation as they storm away.

“How can you waste your good fortune? How can you have everything other people would kill to have, and squander it like that? What an ungrateful idiot. People like him irritate me the most.”

Iwaizumi looks back over at the princes, finds Prince Tobio sitting back on the floor, grumbling to himself. Prince Shouyou purses his lips at him. He makes eye contact with Iwaizumi and raises his hands up in surrender.

Iwaizumi rises up, making his way to sit across from the heir, “Prince Tobio,” he starts. Prince Tobio does not look up from his glaring session with the floor. Iwaizumi licks his lips, “What did, what did Lord Kei mean by the King having gone mad?”

Prince Tobio drags his hand through his dark hair, “Father believes that a curse has been placed on the castle. Someone set fire to the orchards, and it consumed most of that part of the grounds. Yahaba escaped and the King swears the servants are to be blamed for all of this. He put the castle on lock down, no one can leave or come in. Even the visiting nobles are stuck there. He keeps writing to me, and the letters are becoming worse and worse. He wants me to come back, so that I can help him set a proper example.”

“That’s royal talk for he wants to execute a bunch of people,” Prince Shouyou explains helpfully.

“I know that, idiot!” Prince Tobio growls. He huffs, looking back at Iwaizumi, “I have never been good at talking to my father, I don’t think I’d be able to stop him. So the best I can do is...”

“Not go back?” Iwaizumi says, incredulously, “But that’s your home.”

“Is it?” Prince Tobio flares, anger still fresh from the recent argument, “I don’t know anymore. There’s nothing there for me.” He swallows, “Kindaichi made it very clear to me before I dismissed him in my anger. How everyone believes I’m just a selfish king to be, not fit to rule at all. Mother’s gone. Tooru never liked me, and now he’s gone too. Why would I go back to a place that doesn’t want me?”

Iwaizumi does not know what to say.

So he says nothing.

Prince Tobio grits his teeth.

Prince Shouyou lays a hand on his shoulder, “Just like I said before, you can stay here as long as you need, Kageyama! It’d be expensive to import so many meat buns if you stayed in Aoba Johsai anyway.”

Prince Tobio snaps at him, “Shut up!”

Prince Shouyou lets out a laugh, “Ho ho! You wanna go? I bet Tsukishima has a ton of meat buns in his kitchen. Who can eat the most first?”

“You’re on.” Prince Tobio agrees, standing up alongside the spritely redhead. But Iwaizumi grabs his forearm, making him pause.

“Aoba Johsai needs a leader, Prince Tobio” he says, carefully.

Prince Tobio squeezes his hands into fists, “I know,” he sighs, “But, I...I’m not ready for that. I need to...I need to figure a lot of things out,” he says, blue eyes glancing at the bright haired prince waiting for him with a hop in his step. Prince Tobio looks back at Iwaizumi, eyes steelier with resolve, “You believe Tooru’s out there right? I will help you, I will do anything to find my brother. To bring him back. To absolve myself of all of this,” he pulls free of Iwaizumi’s grip entirely, “We both know he’s the rightful heir to Aoba Johsai’s throne, whether father agrees to it or not.”

Iwaizumi watches him go with the foreign prince, shoulders relaxed even as he argues with him. And Iwaizumi wonders what magic lives in Karasuno castle, to mature the young prince so quickly in such little time. If it was equal parts the loss of his mother and brother, or if, maybe, it came from the burgeoning friendship with the Sun Prince, the child beloved by its Kingdom, rumored to be made of pure joyful light.

Iwaizumi thinks, then, it would not be so terrible for Prince Tobio to stay here.

--------------------------------------

“This is the dumbest idea we’ve had this whole journey,” Kyoutani huffs, keeping low to the ground.

“There’s not much we can do about it,” Iwaizumi sighs, nudging him forward.

“At least they both didn’t come,” Yahaba reminds.

“I could not spend another moment at Tsukishima’s manor. Don’t act like I’m useless,” Prince Tobio snaps back, crawling forward with a stern scowling face.

“If anything happens to him, you can blame it on me. It can just add to my tally,” Yahaba offers.

Kyoutani kicks him lightly, “Stop being a fucking martyr.”

“Stop fucking the mar-“ Yahaba teases back before receiving another angry kick.

“What are they talking about,” Prince Tobio asks, frowning.

Iwaizumi groans, “They’re beneath you sire, don’t pay them or he gross things they say, any mind.”

It only takes them a few days with the Princely escort to reach the Tri-Kingdom border. There they leave Prince Shouyou with their horses, sneaking into Fukurodani territory under the cover of darkness. Iwaizumi does not know how to feel about Prince Tobio’s insistence on his inclusion in this last part of the mission. Wonders if it truly is only about his dislike for the Karasuno Lord, or if it be from the amalgamation of guilt surely sinking through his system.

Iwaizumi decides not to question it. He is tired. The breeze is getting colder, heralding Winter’s coming arrival, and Iwaizumi longs to stop. To rest for more than a day. To go home.

But home is not a place, not really. Home is where Oikawa is, and he longs to be there again. So he trudges forward, desperately. Their destination so close now he can almost taste.

He can see it in the way the forest grows gloomier and darker, sees it in the coldness of his breath, feels it in the trepidation that gives him goose bumps along his neck. This darkness is not normal, its ethereal. He knows they must be close. He knows that Oikawa has to be here. Somewhere. Everywhere.

Part of him wishes to call out, to shout his name, to order him to stop this unnecessary hiding. To come back to him. But the other part knows that this is foolish. They can not be the only ones in these woods. Being found out now would be disastrous, especially by Fukurodani officials.

“Stay down!” Prince Tobio hisses, suddenly. In one quick move, he plucks an arrow from his back, drawing it upon his bow and firing it inches from Kyoutani’s head. The knight rears back, and inhuman squeal reverberates around them. Black talons retract from the fog, arrow still embedded into the scaly skin as it disappears.

Yahaba pulls Kyoutani back as the blond curses, “The fuck was that?”

“Are we already in the cursed forest?” Iwaizumi mutters, drawing his sword out and crouching low, keeping close to his companions.

Prince Tobio draws another arrow, blue eyes searching the grassy area around them for any hint of movement. He shivers suddenly, as if a coldness brushed against him and he swivels around. Iwaizumi ducks so as not to get hit by the waving arrow, “Watch it.”

Prince Tobio doesn’t reply, swiveling around and around. His calm precise motions becoming more erratic and panicked.

“Sire, are you alright?” Yahaba asks, stepping toward him, lowering his dagger.

“Shut up! Shut up!” Prince Tobio orders, but he’s not looking at Yahaba. He’s looking all over the place. He fires an arrow, it hits a tree, embedding in the bark uselessly.

His blue eyes are wide as they swivel back toward Iwaizumi, fingers trembling, “Make them stop!” He shouts.

Iwaizumi takes a step forward, and Prince Tobio fires his next arrow, scraping across his shin painfully, blood starting to drip down his legs. He lets out a pained hiss, hands coming down to clutch at the new wound.

He hears a voice in his head, are you alright?

Iwaizumi keeps his gaze on Prince Tobio’s shaking form. The boy has dropped his bow entirely, staring at the ground and mumbling to himself. Iwaizumi can’t help but think, in turn, I’m fine, but something is terribly wrong with Prince Tobio.

Iwaizumi shudders, eyes blinking into temporary blindness. There is only darkness around him and terror seizes. But it only for the briefes of moments, because one he blinks again, he can see. He feels winded. He shakes his head out of the coolness that had overtaken him.

Kyoutani is by his side, Yahaba stepping toward the panicking Prince with soothing words. But there’s something else. Iwaizumi tears his eyes away from the scene in favor to look around, because now that he can look away he can feel it. There’s someone else here, something else here. A dark, horrendous presence in the shadows, building up with dread.

And then Iwaizumi sees it, it’s hunkering mass growing, and he’s not sure how he could not see it before. It rises from the darkness of a tree, amassing itself in a plume of black smoke, right behind Prince Tobio. Skinny spindling talons coming down towards the boy, shaking on the ground, pulling at his own hair. Following the spindly arms up the shadow he can see a white, oval mask smiling at him.

He feels his legs stiffen up under him in terror.

How does Yahaba not see it? Or Kyoutani for that matter? Both keep their gaze locked on Prince Tobio’s panic attack, bodies unable to move from both fear and confusion. Iwaizumi tries to get his body to comply, fingers twitching to get to his sword at his side and ready it.

And then, suddenly, there is a fifth presence.

There is a whistle in the air, a sudden gust of wind that billows around them, a dark and foreboding aura encompassing them all, it’s force pushing away at the plumes of smoke. And suddenly a demon rises in their midst, shielding Prince Tobio’s crouching form from the growing darkness.

His wears a dark cloak, hood up. Sharp talons glint in the evening light. The wind pushes the hood back, revealing feral brown hair, and long spiraling horns. Yahaba lets out a shriek, as if revisited by a nightmare, and he backs away completely, grappling for Kyoutani’s arm to pull him back too.

The demon lets out an inhuman snarl, thin tail whipping out. The dark force seems to shrink back, and in that moment’s reprieve the demon bends down to pick the limp Prince up from the ground, shoving him into Iwaizumi’s arm.

It is then, and only then that he makes eye contact with him.

Brown eyes stare into green and Iwaizumi feels his knees about to buckle.

But there is no time for that, because the shadow lets out a sudden bellow. Oikawa doesn’t look back at it, keeps his gaze focused on Iwaizumi, then he lifts his arm and points.

Iwaizumi follows the motion toward the tree in question and knows what he needs to do.

[redlemonz]

Day #24

Not a great rush of adrenaline this morning, that's for sure. My heart beat is again unsteady and relatively quicker, and my breathing slowed. I can safely say that it was the result of some incredibly bad dreams, for the most part, which I'm trying my best to instantly forget so I can move on with my day. Not worth going into detail to remind myself and feel like shit, but it was essentially just a bunch of major things going downhill within family, friendships and even her - yes she made an appearance, surprisingly enough. All the damn blame from everything that was going wrong was absorbed by me. I couldn't help to think in these scenarios that if I were a better person to them, that I could've altered the ill fate suffered by my loved ones. Now I'm shaking at the thought of it, and even drawn a couple of tears because of the intensity of what I just suffered through. It's been extremely difficult to distinguish dreams from reality in that regard, because I'm the same, bad person in each universe. I'm actually struggling a bit more this morning from the after effects of those dreams, and my breathing hasn't stabilised after a while - genuinely thinking there's a possibility of fainting, which would be nice if it were back in my bed. It's hot and and cold at the same time. I'm drawing a bit of anxious sweat through what feels like a fire inside me. It's sort of like a similar feeling to having a fever in a way, but an anxiety fever. Have even resulted to attempting to breathe through my mouth as a substitute but that's only raising the heart beat. Fun times in the weak struggle. Can't find the balance this morning and so I'm not looking forward to the rest of the day ahead, especially as I'll be stuck in a team meeting the entirety of the day. The day dreams that will fill up the time will have my head fixated on her as usual. Day 24 - A coin & a clock I received a special coin today that I forgot I purchased, which one of three at work ordered online on behalf of me about a month ago. It's special because it's a double sided coin, which depicts only heads on both sides, and has the word 'liberty' engraved into it, along with the design print of the famous sculpture in New York City. It's intriguing because it's utilised by a rather famous comic book villain (yup, comic books - more fantasies, surprise) who determines the fate of his victims with the flip of that very coin, which means that they're ultimately doomed either way because they don't actually receive the equal chance they're led into falsely believing that they're entitled to in the circumstance. That's the interesting factor - the false hope that is generated for the soul who doesn't have knowledge upon the fact that their future has already been decided for them. It makes you realise that liberty is nothing more than an imaginative term, a living irony promoted by society that's suppose to make you believe that you have this false sense of freedom. It's achieved well enough too, considering we're mostly all brainwashed to some degree and follow the norms and conventions created by our societies to live life as the sheep we are. That's just one man's opinion though, and I understand that it's quite generalised and doesn't actually apply to each individual - just the majority, who are "drowning in the mainstream" as one of her hipster jokes would go. This new piece of memorabilia I have acquired is a reminder to me that I'll always be stuck in my ill-fated sadness in the end, no matter what choices I make in the present. That this road will eventually lead to a cliff with no remaining bridge to cross, no matter what temporary happiness may be found on the way. I'll never be able to get to the other side of the bridge.. where she resides. I managed to take my friend anxiety, to the gym this evening, so we could both get pumped up to a whole new level. Certainly you could note that it took me a lot of willpower which I didn't know existed at this stage, to go a second time within the week already - haven't done that for a while due to my fears of breaking down. I don't really know what to say, except for that my heart break is currently being re-lived greatly right now due to my nemesis, time, reminding me that it's been exactly 4 weeks tonight since I received a message from her asking to talk the next day of Armageddon. Even worse, the last time I had any contact with her was Monday - three days ago, which again specifically resembles the gap in which in that past time we did not communicate either. My mind is determined in just finding any fucking excuse at this point to link events, coincidences and any resemblances it can find to remind me of the pain from that moment. Sadly, it's working well in it's favour because it's in my nature to be accustomed to thoughts like this. I remember thinking that everything was going so well, and that she finally listened and understood me with the pain I uncomfortably had to openly express with her on several occasions (especially recently at the time), and that I would just give her some space and time to take that chance on me finally. But little did I know that she was only being friendly and polite (as is in her sweet nature), when asking to speak to me the next day, because I had no fucking clue that not only did she break her promise, but she would break my heart and end us. Supposedly the three days felt like a lifetime apart and she actually lived a joyous life in that time, which means she didn't need and/or want me anymore. In my head I was just speechless and in shock, so I remember going absolutely insane with my over the top friendliness in that moment. That's because I had fucked up enough, and finally clicked then and there as soon as she had enough, how I had been behaving and mistreating her that whole time. I was constantly overreacting and poisoning her life with my unnecessary insecurities and problems, so she justifiably finally decided to dispose of the negativity in her life, i.e. me. Since that precise moment, it all started crashing down on me about what I had done, and to this very day I'm still in shock (hence the recurring madness) about how it all played out and I suddenly went from what felt like everything to nothing - with a single phone call. Here I was, ready to be the happiest guy alive (I cannot emphasise how much I was looking forward to this moment, with all the hope in the world) as I thought my insecurity of being hidden from her family was going to be finally over. Nope - It was the exact opposite. My world turned upside down, and so did my head and heart along with it. So here I am, an even more broken shell of a man - if I ever were a man, rather than just a boy to begin with (that'd probably even be a compliment at this point with the immaturity I displayed). But hey, it's more than fair enough. It's what I deserve for mistreating her the way I did. To be honest, I was never really good enough for her to begin with, and I'm sure she always knew that too - which is why she always had doubts about us from the very beginning anyway, and continuously rejected me. I very much do appreciate that she tried for me, and for us as a whole though, as she really did put in so much more than I think even she was expecting, prepared to, and thought that she ever would. I guess I can only hope now that I brought her some happiness above all the pain and trouble I caused her, and that she'll continue to cherish that good part of what we were (wonderful weekend + sick-day monday was beautiful in that regard). And I hope that she's happy now too.. It's been basically four weeks after all, and she's not usually one to be stuck in the past for long so yeah. All I can continue to do now is accept all my mistakes, and learn through all this torturous pain and punishment, even though I tried my best - I just didn't succeed (fuck off again, Coldplay). It's all so excruciating right here, right now though, as I've honestly lost the will to simply try with stuff, I guess. I may as well confess that in my weakness I even messaged her just before, asking how her week's been, but haven't heard back from her in these couple hours. At least she's living a busier life and properly moving on unlike the loser I am, whining about my fucking feelings. I suppose these are all pretty standard confessions of a broken heart though too, yeah? Likely. I'm just being a naive asshole - nothing new. She doesn't owe me any time or attention anymore, and she never did. Whether it be a tangible object or a memory, everything seems to find its way into being my enemy these days, because my mind chooses for it to be. Oh well - my pit is getting a bit dry, tonight's a night better than any to water it with some tears.

[uncontrollablyme]

So last weekend I was off-roading with a friend of mine, on an expedition with Mountain State Overland. (Check them out in links at the end, not only are they skilled overlanders, but an amazing group of folks, bringing together other rad peeps and likeminded individuals.) Driving from Virginia Beach across much of Southern Virginia with the most picturesque scenery, we traversed the mountains from VA into West Virginia.  The trip was unreal.  Such a memorable, fantastic experience.  I will circle back around to it in just a minute, or like 5, mmmm after proof reading maybe more, measurement has never been a strong suit.

The week before the trip, I got out my old hiking pack, and sorted through its contents.  I hiked a lot in my old life.  It was one of the things during the chaos of an abusive relationship, that I remember fondly, mostly.  I remember the first time I saw a natural waterfall.  I can still hear the growing rush of the water crashing on the Earth below, snow melting by the second moving the ground and dirt and rocks, in to this majestic flow of beauty.  So powerful it could down trees and cut right through rock, the water has a way of unearthing the life below the surface, shifting everything around and finding all the more water along the way, harnessing its power.  Symbolic really, and I was intensely drawn to it.

I remember hiking in boots too small that created blisters so bad, I was donned with the trail name “Blisters”.  They were my size, these boots, but I learned quickly, hikers need a half a size bigger on their journey usually.  Walking through tears streaming from the pain, because he would never have allowed me to slow his hike down, I almost stepped right on a snake.  Boy did that wake me up and shift my focus!  He came running for that, to get credit for saving me of course, (since I was such a mess I wouldn’t ever be able to help myself, I was conditioned that way, by him, fucker).  But I also remember being behind, so far in fact, that I felt I was the only one out there.  Symbolic, again.  What I was amazed at, though, was that there in the woods where I could have disappeared and no one would have known, was that I was not scared.  Now sure, the concern of being eaten by a bear, is forever present in the woods, but more like I felt I was not alone.  I was no longer as lost as I felt, daily.

I discovered I actually was not alone out there.  Long before, having abandoned my religious roots, I had had the feeling of being disconnected from my Faith. But out there, It found me.  Every step, each inhale, all of the deafening quiet, I was NOT alone. I was in fact, surrounded by all the beauty, the life of the woods, the clarity in my mind, the full connectivity in a “disconnected” way.  It was glorious.  For a few hours I walked to the beat of my heart.  I processed life, and was away from the terror that existed in my day-to-day.  Just for those moments, I was free.  I was instantly smitten with Nature (yes I used a capital F on purpose).

While looking through my pack, I came across a few words I’d written years ago, I managed to stick in a pocket and forget about until now.  As I came off the trail, at least 11 to 13 years ago, and most likely headed straight for a pizza joint, (because who doesn’t crave carbs after a 13 mile day?!) I scrawled out the following on the most perfect card I purchased in the town.  On the front of the card is a sketched picture of the Town Inn in the small city.  On the back:

“And above all things have fervent love for one another; for love covers a multitude of sins.  Be hospitable to one another without grumbling.  As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another; as good stewards of the manifold GRACE of God.”             ~Peter 4:8-10  (how serendipitous to me, my life and how I choose to live #BELOVE)

Inside I wrote: “There are so many life thoughts and quotes driven by the trail, path and woods.  This weekend was a reminder as the ideas of ‘life’s path’ floated through my brain.  I am never closer to my Faith than when I am in nature, and this weekend was exactly where I needed to be.  Grateful, hearts.

Even when the path is hard to see there are always guides, signs and reminders to help open your eyes to the right way.

You can branch off the path, but you will be guided back without fail.  Wandering is not lost, as the saying goes.

Even if you do not reach the end, your journey is what matters.  It is where the living is.

Sometimes your path takes you off track a bit, you must see it through to find all of the beauty in life, it is there just beyond the comfort zone.

Take time to enjoy all that surrounds you.

Obstacles may be just the test you need, to make you stronger, better.

Not everyone has been through exactly what you have, but we have all faced struggles and challenges on this path of life.”

Now in the thick of that time in my life, to find this now, and know that back then I was still okay on fundamental core level, gives me a belief in my own strength that just sets my heart on fire.  To know that I was in immeasurable pain, mentally and physically and socially, financially, as a parent, woman, lover, my life raped daily down to nothing of myself, and I still managed to be this human… WOW! Something to be proud of for sure, but more so, to propel me to advance this human condition of acceptance and adventure and love and growth as far and deep and wide as I can, because I can!

Needless to say Nature is where I can most easily connect, recharge, heal etc.  And last weekend, current time this time, was still very much needed.  Jumping day one off with the rolling mountains, unfolding each peak with more breathtaking views, we arrived in Bedford, VA to make a stop at Blue Ridge Overland Gear.  A quaint town, with a delicious little coffee shop (there is much more, but it was a quick stop).  B.R.O.G. is located inside a building that as I walked past the basement doors, made me imagine bootleggers delivering their moonshine there.  It is old, but what a beauty of a building.  It has those good bones.  Woodwork that makes you want to take a picture, which I did, and lighting that makes the beautifully worn floors look bright, columns that make you want to touch them and remember the generations of people that existed there before. I got to meet the owner and some friends and instantly knew they were my kinda people.  (y’all know who you are if reading this far… high five to hammock man, keep on keepin on with the hot pants.  Chris, I understand why others say they feel like they’ve known you forever.  Your soul is a special one, now keep clear of the creepy’s).

We continued on to Covington, to a piece of Virginia land, with the oldest standing home in VA.  Merry Go Round Farm is absolutely breathtaking, and the owner/farmer Jacob fast became a group favorite.  He is funny and easy to adore, but he also let me hold a 3 hour old piglet, so basically I love him.  We set up camp, checked in with family, got to know the rest of the group, had dinner, listened to music, got a rockin bonfire going, and stared up at the vast twinkling sky above.  We shared stories and laughed lots, and of course, I broke out my moonshine!  Certainly it didn’t make it on the rest of the trip, but don’t panic, I had plenty of brown water, (bourbon for those who don’t know me) and the group brought even more.  Sausage, you are an awesome guy, filled with all kinds of history, knowledge and compassion.  Tell my babies I miss them, and take mama for a walk, her 700 pound booty!

I left Covington beginning to relax and sink in to the adventure.  Often, my anxiety makes the transition from routine to vacay tough, I need a timeline so I know what to expect.  I am not in need of planning all the details, but a guideline so that honestly, I don’t lose my shit.  I can prepare my surroundings and people so that if I do lose said shit, that I am safe and I can get myself through it eventually.  Yep, that’s me, #crazygirl over here… eye rolls… but this time, I had an easier go of it, I was excited, I was happy, and I was in that place, like back in the woods, not alone.

The next two days were spent crawling over rocks, and up steep hills, and wading through door high streams and “puddles”.  The vehicles were impressive, but the drivers – you guys deserve a cheers! When the locals stand back and say “y’all ain’t gonna make it through there with no damn vehicle” and then watch as you do, maneuvering with skill and confidence, and the rush of adrenaline at times… bad asses… all of yas!  We camped remotely, and had the privilege of some pretty amazing weather, sites and sounds, and challenging and beautiful terrain.  I got to watch the majesty of massive windmills swooping (if you’ve never seen one, or been to a wind farm, you must), see how some true to WVA country folk live, and sit in awe over the history and awesome country we are blessed to live in!

To say the trip was fantastic, just doesn’t quite cover it.  I have attached some pics, and you can also check them out on my IG: @uncontrollably_me but my suggestion to all, because the pictures really only serve as personal memories of the actual greatness and do not really do it justice, is to get out there, see the world, or just your back yard.  Get to the beach, the mountains, the trails, the gardens.  Take them in, hold them close to your heart.  I mean what is the point of a memory if we don’t keep some amazing stuff in there?

We are not lost, we are on an adventure.  Go on lots of them!

Find your clarity, your peace, your passion, amplify it with things you love.  Surround your self with beauty in the purest form and people that make you wanna love harder!

Peace!

T

  Mountain State Overland http://www.mountainstateoverland.com/ follow their IG: @msoverlandand and watch their youtube videos for more *** Merry Go Round Farm IG: @merrygoroundfarm *** Thanks to my friend Adam for taking me along, follow him on IG: @overland_history  Huge shout out to Gaby and Rachel for cooking the most delicious meals, Jason for navigating like a BOSS, and saving my life with the better bag, Papa lemonade for being the fire-man and comedian, and all of the other overland crew with unreal rigs, Y’all ROCK! Cheers!

                        The path So last weekend I was off-roading with a friend of mine, on an expedition with Mountain State Overland.