#the ache in my heart ebbs under this warmth...As persistant as it is

[ronkeyroo]

Hello, i am one of your fans and i really love watching your content. I'm very sorry to see you've been distressed recently, i know i'm just a stranger on the internet, but I just wanted to tell you that, even if you think you're doing bad, you are already doing more than you might know. A lot of people give up and don't move on, and I mean a lot lot, but you, you've gotten up so many times with each fall, and while it may not seem like that for you, i think that's pretty amazing. It's okay to let it out every now and then, and whatever you do I will support you either way. I love seeing your art, seeing you being happy with all the fictional characters you adore, seeing how detailed and cool each drawing is.

I hope you have an amazing day being an amazing you. Wish you luck! ♡

Anon I...I never know how to properly convey the warm feelings stirring up within me as I read your note...The screen takes away so much of what I wish i could express most vividly..

If the possibility could present itself - I'd sit down by your side, hold your hand and pour every bit of gratitude and mutual fondness into our hold for the kindness, reassurance, and support you shone my way.

Its...I feel ashamed and defeated, having realized just how much i've been hurting the past year, what mess it brought out of me, and how long I've staggered under it. Every single day i but collect crumbs of whatever joy i can muster while the majority of my spirit is still shrouded in darkness. I wish i could shield you all from it, shield you away from worrying for me, for aching on my behalf... There have been countless times I was on the verge of giving up, but i've burned the meaning of what keeps me here so deep in my heart that even when i want to disappear, a big part of me aches to come back from it all.

To be here with my friends, to share the art i love creating, to know that despite all the hurt that exists; We can share on the wonderlust and joy that makes life any bit more bearable. I cannot begin, on how big of an impact you folks have played into this blooming joy...Strangers or not, the time I spent on Tumblr and its community has been a heart mending experiences that constantly, constantly lays a tender, warm glow on me.

I love being here with you all, I love sharing on my artistic shenanigans and expressions be it within my personal paracosms or the fictional characters I adore and it makes my heart soar to hear, to feel, and to experience this love back...Thank you for being here to enjoy it alongside me, Anon. For appreciating me & my art, for writing to me, for insisting on encouraging me even when i feel i don't deserve it with how sluggish and slow i've been with everyone...I want to get better, I want to stay so much.

I hope we both have an amazing day, and an overall kinder life. And once again, Thank you...

[kim-monsterlings]

Torben - M Fae x F Human (Reader)

The pictures do not belong to me. I only created the mood board. Do not repost my work anywhere.

Content: SFW/Orange, dancing with fae, hinted romance, minor angst, pinned to a wall, throat kissing (if there is anything below which needs to be mentioned here in future, let me know!)

Wordcount: 2588

"I don't have a date."

Reyna lifted a golden tinted eyebrow. The sly smile was warning enough, as were her jewelled fingers lifting towards the soft petals woven into your gown. "Take Torben. He invited you tonight, after all."

Her touch drifted from the blush bell sleeves, her grin too persuasive. The company of fae rushing past you towards the centre of the palace did little to deter her from speaking so loudly about Torben, a high fae, and one of her oldest friends. Reyna being fae, too, had an invite to the Court of Spring by her existence alone. The same didn't apply to you.

"I'm only your plus one," you said quietly, brushing down the dress to distract yourself from her frown. Torben had visited your realm many times by Reyna's invite and after long, he seemed to be there more than not. Once, as Torben had left with a kiss to her crown and to your palm, Reyna's impish features scrunched in thought, her plan to play cupid sprung, and she had persisted since. Her latest attempt, trying to double date; her with any willing partner, and you, of all people, with him. "He must have felt bad, not inviting me."

"He invited you," Reyna said, but the hallway dimmed at the wide, open doors, and a crowd drowned her next words in awe.

Glittering lights like… like stars hung in the room, glowing and dazzling the fae dancing beneath the floating petals. Rich perfumes of wine and fruits teased you forwards, and you nearly lost yourself so soon, had a warm voice not grounded you.

Fae mimicked their courts of birth, and Torben looked every bit a fae of the Court of Spring. From the silver-painted smile marred by crimson wine, the cloak to his suit of vines and lilac blossoms, not forgetting his wings rising above him as they fluttered, catching the light like frosted glass in summer, he put the charmed gardens beyond to shame. In your realm, the flipping of your stomach had been easier to hide but now, entranced by his indigo nails and the shimmer of his rings, the attraction rose to tighten at your throat.

Reyna's elbow caught your ribs. They were watching you, Torben's hand outstretched. His smile rose as he said, likely for the second time, "dance with me."

Music soothed the tension quick to run down your back, but he was stepping closer. Torben bowed his head enough for the thick curls against his ochre ram horns to tickle his forehead.

"You have my word," he began slowly, rising his free arm to press to his heart. "Until you ask to be taken from the dance."

Torben rose when your fingers slid against his palm. Your pulse fluttered at his lips soft on your knuckles, but he was leading you at his side deeper into the throes of drunken fae before drawing your bodies flush. One hand on your neck. One on your low, bare back, a shiver drawing a gasp from the cool touch of rings. His thigh pressed tight between your own and he was nudging you back. Every gentle nudge accompanied a rich laugh only helping to unsteady you further, and a cycle of your dizzying returned when he stroked across your nape and guided you back once more.

Though you tried to look from the dancers, the way from the circle was charmed despite your immunity to glamour tonight. Reyna took great care in providing potions and fruits to ward it off, yet you couldn't see beyond. Already your body was warming and Torben slowed, face close and voice low.

“Trust in me now,” he implored. The music continued and so did you, drawn to lean tighter to his lithe frame by the gentleness of his hold. "Look only at me."

Worries flitted through your mind in a matter of seconds; had he brought you here on Reyna's arm for a game, where fae, royalty above all, were renowned for tricking away a mortal's sanity? Your feet hadn't begun to ache nor your lungs burn short of breath, and his word bound you together.

Torben's thumb traced along your jaw. He drew your face higher until only a hair's breadth was between you and whispered, "dance."

He spun you out into a laugh and when you curled back into his arms, his hands on your ribs and yours clutching his forearms beneath his soft cloak, the fears melted. His grin was one only a pure fae could bless a mortal with, one of power and delight as he gathered you tight and led you deeper into the circle.

Each turn was guided by his slender fingers, a ring pressing to your spine enough for you to lean back, his chest pressing tight to yours. Your heart beat in time with his, hard and fast. Torben's hot breaths fluttered into your neck, a soft brush of lips stealing your ability to draw yourself up. If not for his embrace, your heart along with your body would have given out.

"It's been almost five songs. Come."

Lost, so helplessly lost in the sheen to his bright eyes and the scent of petals where you rested near on chest, the lilt of his gentle voice barely broke the lure of the dance. "Five?"

Torben’s rising lips pressed to your knuckles. He hummed once before twirling you from his chest, though never out of reach. Fingers still tangled together, the high fae led you from the dancers and revellers until the music began to fade. Not for the first time since arriving, Torben held you close and whispered your name - whispered, in the same tenderness you would speak his true name, and waited for your weak nod when the sudden aches in the absence of glamour began to ebb.

“Thank you.”

The high fae tipped your chin higher with his fingertip. “You know better than to give me your thanks,” he said, but warmly, and he was close enough now you could feel the brush of his hair loose on your forehead. The way he drew in a soft breath sent your thoughts spiralling, until his gaze flitted up, beyond you. “Reyna will want to see you. You are beautiful,” he murmured, just as your fingertips began to fall away from his. “Do you like it?”

Warmth drained from your cheeks. Reyna had teased, her touch fluttering at the fabric, but she had never alluded to it being a gift. A gift from Torben. A gift you hadn’t been able to refuse. A gift from a high fae. He was gone before you had the chance to offer a gift in return, to break the debt, and you found yourself unsteady at Reyna’s side.

Her evening thus far had been spent flirting with a nymph, and after almost a torturous quarter hour intruding on them, the absence of warmth from the hall came to weigh in your stomach. The heat of their deliberate, provocative touches was reminiscent of the brush of rings along your hips, the fluttering lips down your soft ear. With Torben out of sight, the following realisation that you had been seeking him became the excuse you needed to justify leaving. As much as you wished for it to, Reyna smirked, and your weak scoff would do nothing to dissuade her from later teasing.

The halls beyond led in mazes. Wisps of music beckoned you into nearly turning back, soon to lose yourself in the revel. Had it not been the itch spurring you on to find an elusive high fae, it might have worked. Torben had tricked you through Reyna. The dress you had gasped at, fretted about wearing for fear of ruining it, had been a gift.

It wasn’t the first gift Torben had presented. Each had been sweet, fleeting moments - a rose plucked and tucked behind your ear while waiting for Reyna’s return, a compliment whispered in a hug, the flower circlet woven carefully into your hair tonight - but each a painful reminder of his deeper nature, a longing to ensnare you. Each had been carefully countered - your small smile in tucking a richer red rose back against his horn, a kiss to his cheek, a glittering blossom broach pinning his cloak together - and at that you had been equal, no debts and no danger.

The itch didn’t cease; it wasn’t only to settle a debt that sent you running after Torben.

Shadows were never just shadows in this realm but you hadn't thought to look beyond them. His melodic call tripped you back into the shadows, weak and regaining your breath as he rose from them.

"Would it be so bad?"

Shimmering jewels woven into his ochre hair caught your eye first, certain his thick horns had been unadorned before he left you. Decorated horns had meaning, an intent, but you could hardly focus long enough to recall it when his slender fingers stroked beneath your chin. Warm, but the cool touch of rings caressed your jaw.

"Would it?"

"Torben..." Reyna would laugh if she saw you so helpless before him now, just like she had always hoped for. You frowned at the thought and reached for his wrist. "Reyna put you up to this, didn't she?"

"No." Gone was the musical lilt, replaced by a sharp edge. Torben caught your hand before you could push him away, fingers entwined as your knuckles scraped the stone wall beside your head. Soft flutters of his delicate wings disarmed you as he ran his thumb higher, teasing your lips to part on a choked gasp. "This is my doing. My question," he prompted, though his eyes remained on your lips, how they flushed under his pressing touch.

On your move to ask for him to repeat it, Torben tsked. His touch rose just a little, enough for your head to tip back, to lean into the wall for support, breath hot and rushing from your lungs as his thumb ran firmer. Rings bit into your fingers when he pressed his hand harder to yours. The bait was there in his eyes, a dare and glowing. His pearly and feathered eyebrow arched. He wanted you to taunt him and goad him. You did nothing of the kind and eventually, Torben hummed, his palm running across to your cheek.

"Would it be so bad," he murmured, "to date me?"

His forearm became your anchor when you trembled. Torben brought himself closer. Though lean, he was taller than you, his deliberate rise and steady touch of his hand lifting your face to his. The embrace now was so different to the dance; he had held you gently there, where he now ensnared you, encompassing you entirely – in a way you couldn’t deny had your body humming for a closer touch. There came another flit of his wings and the same sparkling glow mirrored in his eyes.

"Tell me."

If you hadn't been prepared, the truth would have rushed from you. The allure of glamour tempted you nonetheless, but you felt cold. "How dare you."

Torben's lips curled. "I hoped you would answer regardless." In the breath of pause where you struggled to think, he said, "I'd not glamour you. If not for the certainty of your immunity tonight, I would not have done."

"Then you hoped to trick me?"

The fae recoiled and then, his hold slackened. Torben fell away, bar his hand on your face, stroking beneath your cheekbone in a touch barely there at all. "That's what you think of me? That this is all a cruel trick?" His hand finally rose to his glittering horns as they curled down to his nape. In his muttering, he began to pluck at the thin ribbons and rings. "This has been at my hand, not Reyna's. My apologies. Pardon me."

When he tore a band of thorns from his horn, you lurched forward. Torben continued to force away the ribbons until you snatched his wrists like he had yours. "Let me."

He stilled, then turned his darkened eyes on you. In the silence, slow and thickening, he began to laugh. It grew into a hoarse echo rumbling from his chest against yours. "What a cruel taunt. I understood your rejection just fine, thank you. Do not seek to twist the dagger deeper."

"It's for me?"

Torben scowled. "Is this some petty revenge? Stop it."

With a loose ribbon already snagged on his rings, you carefully unwound it. Torben scoffed but stayed when you curled his arm into your chest, thumbing the soft fabric of the ribbon, the same as the dress Reyna had sent for you; the dress he had gifted you.

His horns hadn't been decorated in the hall. This was a private matter between friends. He had never declared his intent before and- your heart ached, your eyes lifting to where he turned deliberately away from you. Until now, he had attempted to court you as a human would, through dates and gifts; gifts refused for the ulterior debt any other fae would ensnare you on, and dates thwarted because of your nerves.

"No."

His pointed ears flushed dark. "You mean to hurt me more?"

"To your question." His hand had curled into a fist but you held him closer, running your free hand up to his elbow to squeeze. "It wouldn't be bad to date you. I'd like to."

"Your pity is insulting-"

"Reyna's teasing always felt like teases, nothing more." Still unconvinced, his frown remained, his eyes heavy-lidded where he watched your thumb trace up to brush along his racing pulse. “For her to say I should a date a fae, one as... as lovely and kind as you, whose home is a different realm, it,” the flatness of your whisper fractured into a deep breath, one Torben noticed too well. His narrowed eyes softened, and his fingers tightened on yours. "It seemed like only teasing. The horns - I wasn't taunting, I promise."

Torben spoke carefully. "Promises hold a lot of weight."

"I promise."

"You promise?"

Your small heels did little, so you tucked the ribbon through his wreath of thorns laid against his hair. Torben bowed his head until you had it tight. Your fingers fell to smooth over the broach at his collarbones. "I promise."

Torben felt closer now than when he'd had you pinned. Like he would sweep you from your feet once more into a dance, his arm fell around your waist and traced down your lower back. "Did you not question the frequency of my returns? How each visit was in your presence?"

"I didn't want to hurt myself by believing it."

"Believe it."

"I do," you said. Torben's lips twitched. "I promise. Promise me something." He hummed quietly, but his focus was already waning. With you now in his arms, he could touch you, hold you and slowly, begin to court you as he had intended. His wings began to shimmer again. "Promise no glamour. No tricks."

"I promise."

Torben caught you and warmth brightened his eyes when you softened against him. "I'd rather it be us for our first date, though."

"I know somewhere we could be alone. Just us, now."

"Oh?"

Torben's wings fluttered and he pressed his lips low to your jaw, leaving a silver kiss, you were sure. He led you away from the party into his arms, away from Reyna, where she had known better than to wait for you to return.

This is the first exo fic I’ve finished and posted on my account!! I’m very excited to write more and share it. Let me know what you thought!

[sevralships]

‘Shelter From the Storm’ - a Handships fic

Oh, look, I wrote another self-indulgent fic about me and @handleonthescandal

This one is really short, just a vignette really. While I was visiting Handy, we enjoyed the first rainstorm to happen while we were together. Total fluff. SFW. 1,349 words.

Also, my contribution the ‘Fics with storm in the title’ trend in the Pinecest fandom, even though this fic is only tangentially related to Gravity Falls.

(Non)fic under the cut. Enjoy!

We were lying on our stomachs beneath Handy’s orange blanket when the rain started. The natural light from the window to our right had been growing dimmer and dingier, the grey clouds threatening, for the past hour. And then all of a sudden, like flipping a switch, it was coming down in sheets. The pattering on the window, the pinging of drops against the external part of the air conditioner, the drumming on the roof made it hard all of a sudden to hear the game on the television in front of us.

“Rain!” I exclaimed softly, grabbing his arm, slightly jostling the controller in his hands, “It’s raining for us!”

Handy didn’t seem to mind the interruption. He promptly paused the game, turning to smile at me fondly, “So it is,” he agreed simply, “It was just a matter of time.”

I grinned at him broadly. We’d shared our love of the rain since before we ever kissed, before we ever even met. He was still only a username, only words and emojis on a screen, the first time he had talked to me about his love for the rain. About how he took solace in it, related to it, how the rain overhead made me feel closer to him somehow. And I’d agreed on all points. We’d talked about how, as children, we had both inexplicably found sanctuary in the crooked branches of a Dogwood tree, rain water pouring from the leaves and humble petals. How astonishing it had been to discover that many miles apart, with four years between our ages and more than ten years till we’d meet, we had hidden in the same private misty world.

But it hadn’t rained on us while we were together, not a hard honest downpour like this one. Thunder rumbled outside and when I met his eyes, they reflected the same thrill that I felt at the sound. We lay there for another moment, frozen and focused on the storm outside. He closed the small distance between us then, his lips finding mine automatically, the most natural thing in the world. I nuzzled my nose against him gently as our lips parted, “I like it better with you here.” he declared, his hand running gently from my ribs to my hip under the blanket, smoothing the wrinkles in the soft purple dress I had on.

“Let’s make the most of it.” I said, kissing the tip of his nose quickly before scrambling out of the bed. He gave me a quizzical look, watching as I turned off the television screen and stood on tiptoes to tug the pull-chain to darken the ceiling light. I jumped back into the bed, and crawled eagerly back underneath the blanket. It wasn’t cold, but I wasn’t going to spend one instant away from his warmth that I didn’t need to. Once I’d turned out the light, I was reminded that Handy had lit one of the soy candles I’d made for him, the calmly flickering flame noticeable only once artificial light had been removed.

“Ooh, that’s nice,” Handy said, his deep voice taking on an appreciative purr, eager to pull me back into his arms the moment I was back within reach. He pulled me snug against him and I curled readily into the familiar shape of his embrace. He kissed the top of my head, “My sonnet and a storm…” he cooed softly, and I melted a little closer. The beauty of the statement never diminished, no matter how many times he said it. No one had ever described me in a way that I found as lovely, or as accurate, as that.

I made no effort to measure the minutes that we lay there, my face buried snug against his chest. I breathed in his warm, welcome smell and listened to the steady music of the rain. After some time, I wriggled onto my back and my hand emerged from the blanket, sliding the accordion strip of plastic to one side of the air conditioning unit over, leaving a small rectangle of window open. I peered out, looking up at the patchwork of green leaves and grey sky, the shapes shifting and shimmering as the wind and rain guided them. I watched the dance, contentedly transfixed. The tune of the storm was clearer now, invited in by the bit of window I had opened for it.

“I love you.” Handy said softly, his voice sincere, the gentle tone seeming like a part of the storm itself.

“I love you, too,” I replied, quietly, looking away from the wind-whipped branches to look back at Handy. His eyes were open to me, the blue-green illuminated mystically by the clear pale light from the overcast sky, “With all my heart.”

A relaxed, lopsided smile spread on his lips, and I was kissing him again before I knew it. His lips, always surprising in their softness, moved against mine with an earnest passion. My hand found his cheek, resting lightly against the soft scruff of his beard and deepening the kiss, tilting his jaw towards mine just so. His tongue danced with mine almost coyly, one large warm hand gliding across my stomach and coming to rest against the curve of my waist. The rain persisted in its steady, ancient rhythm, the light of the candle seeming to sync up with the sound, flickering in time with the ebb and flow. In the darkness behind my eyelids, nothing existed apart from the love and nearness of this astounding, beloved man. And in the brief moments when my eyes fluttered open, he was all I saw, his face half painted in the warm wavering candlelight, half in the silvery light of sun diffused through water and vapor.

One such time when my eyes opened, I found Handy’s eyes opened too. Never slowing the kiss, his lids hung heavy but his eyes watched me evenly through his lashes. There was an unspeakable love in his gaze, something beyond what words or kisses could say. Something as elemental and essential as the fire and water on either side of us. A soft whimper rose from my chest, passing from my tongue to his, moving lightly from one heart to another. Handy’s hand left my waist, sliding around to the small of my back and pulling me closer. I let my own hand leave his cheek. I ran my fingers indulgently through his silky hair from temple to nape, before looping my arm lightly around his neck. It was as if we were slow-dancing, our bodies close and swaying slightly with our kisses, the rain playing our song. My eyes fell shut again as I dissolved into the kiss, neither of us in any rush.

Although he held me flush against him, our kiss remained leisurely and delicate. The soft wet sound of our lips blended into the sound of the rain mere inches away from us, and my heart ached with wholeness. I could feel his heartbeat against my sternum, and it echoed my own relief. Everything is as it should be, it seemed to say, you are as one, you’re together, you’re safe.

“I love you so much,” Handy murmured against me, never breaking the kiss fully, “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“I’m so glad I’m home.” I corrected gently, and he grinned against me.

He breathed in deep, as if he was savoring the lemon scent of the candle mixed with the fresh green rain smell from outside. He broke the kiss finally and pulled me into a bear hug, squeezing me just a hair from too-tight, and I knew. I knew all the gratitude he was pouring into the hug because it was my own. I squeezed him right back and he said, his voice muffled against my hair, “I’m so glad I found you.”

I kissed his cheek, his temple, his eyelid, “It was just a matter of time, right?” I said, and he nodded against me and I cradled him close, listening to the rain as inevitable as our love.