#the amount of time spent in getting the antennas stand on a certain direction to get connected to the desired cable channels

[random-xpressions]

I'm an 80's guy. Of course, I have a thing for old fashioned cameras, radios with a tuning dial, audio/video cassettes that often have its reel getting stuck inside the players, and lastly the television sets with extendable antennas. Good old days...

Random Xpressions

[delimeful]

WIBAR Intermission: New Friends

winner of the first july patreon poll! thanks to @legendsgates for allowing me to sneak in a brief cameo of their alien species, cetarfreka!

previous intermission episode | start of WIBAR

warnings: violence, fear, tension, ptsd episodes, injury mention, being held hostage, misunderstandings, deception

-

It was about halfway through their trading circuit that the vidcomm from the Mindscape popped up.

Remyy perked up instantly, Patton’s distinctive singsong voice clear even from half across the main bay. They dropped to their feet and tucked all their wings tight against them to signal that anyone in the way should swiftly get out of the way. Those in the bay who knew them cast strange glances in their direction as they hop-skittered across the floor.

Remyy couldn’t blame them; this was probably the fastest they’d moved all week. They usually maintained a much more casual demeanor for the sake of their reputation, but in this case...

“Patton! Babes, you’re really okay!”

“Remyy!” The Ampen fluffed up, a pleasant glow filling the room around him, face pinching up happily.

In this case, exceptions would be made.

The Obrxyx currently managing the comms sighed at them, unimpressed. “You have this one, then?”

“Sure do,” Remyy drawled, still leaning between xem and the monitor so that half their face took up the comm screen. “We go way back, I’ll get them docked.”

They waited impatiently for xem to move to a different comm terminal, adjusted the seatpad so they could be seen properly through the comm, and promptly started complaining. “I can’t believe you guys, holing up in that rinky dink ship for so long with only voice calls to tell everyone that you were okay! Where’s the gossip? Why in the universe would you keep it from me?”

Patton’s hands jerked, and the comm screen wobbled, blurring his expression strangely for a moment. Remyy tilted their goggles slightly for a better angle, but by the time the mobile communicator stabilized, any change in demeanor had vanished.

“Be careful, Rem,” Patton said teasingly, “it almost sounds like you care about us or something.”

“Funny,” Remyy replied dryly, “I’ll have you know that I’ve just been missing Logan’s high quality deathbrew, none of that sentimental garbage.”

Patton laughed at them silently with his gaze alone. Innocent, naive Ampen, their ass.

“Are we cleared to dock y-- Is that Remyy?” Another voice from offscreen dropped abruptly into horror, and Remy’s eyes narrowed in gleeful amusement.

“It sure is, gurl,” they called, “and the Remyy in question seems to recall a certain bet that was never paid up on. 30 cenals, cough ‘em up.”

There was a loud groan, and then a thump that shook the comm slightly. Patton spent a moment staring at something with a confused frown, and then seemed to get it, nodding. He turned back to them very seriously.

“Sorry, Roman can’t come to the comm right now,” he informed them. “He, uh, died. Very recently. And tragically."

Belatedly, he put on a sad expression, antennae drooping. Remyy raised their eyebrows, unimpressed.

“Uh huh. Well, I suppose I’ll just have to join in on the funeral rites once I get down to help carry the goods over, huh--?”

“No!” The voices of both his friends overlapped, making the comm audio fuzz harshly for a moment. Remyy’s secondaries flared slightly, taken aback at the vehemence.

“Uh, I mean, we don’t have that much,” Patton hurried to patch up the awkward pause. “How about we meet you in the docking lobby instead? You can get Roman’s credits there.”

“Hey!”

Remyy’s ears angled back with displeased confusion, but they acquiesced anyhow. “Hurry up, then. And make sure Logan brings my brew!”

Whatever it was they were hiding, Remyy was sure they’d be able to weasel it out of them in no time.

---

After grabbing a short meal and a boring haggling session between the Mindscape’s crew and the cargo manager of the Starwinder, Remyy finally got to learn about what had happened to Patton during his disappearance.

It wasn’t pretty.

Their senspatches felt dry at the mere thought of Patton stripped of his coat and forced to starve because of it. It was beyond lucky that the remaining two of the trio managed to find and free the Ampen from the harvesters before it was too late. If anyone could do it, though, they believed this crew could.

Patton had grown quieter and less fluffy throughout the course of the tale, with Roman and Logan taking turns delivering a well-practiced explanation of the events. Seeing as these were extenuating circumstances, Remyy submitted to cuddles just this once, allowing the small alien to bury his face in the folds of their leathery armwings.

They took a moment once the story was over, casually and completely unintentionally folding more of their wing over Patton. “That bites, babes.”  

“Yeah.” The Ampen hummed in response, mouth pinched strangely. “I… I’m really grateful that I got help when I did.”

Logan set a careful hand on Patton’s back, though the motion almost came across as less comforting and more… cautioning? Remyy’s senspatches flared up slightly as they tried to read more into the situation.

Before they could really investigate, though, Roman was leaning forwards and grabbing the edge of their arm to get their attention.

“Remyy. We’ve been having something of an adjustment period. Drop it, please?”

They flickered their ears at him dismissively, but really… looking at the small crew, they could see a sort of wariness reflected in their stiff posture, the way the three of them constantly cast glances back to the dock hall that would lead to their ship. Trying to make sure they had a quick exit. Whatever the details of their experience, it was stressing them out to lay it all out in the open like this. Remyy could understand that.

“Fine, whatever,” they sighed, sipping at the bitter brew Logan had thoughtfully provided. “I suppose I’ll keep my awe-inspiring ability to root out interesting tidbits to myself for now. I can just grill Lo later.”

The three friends slumped in relief, and Remyy turned their face away slightly to allow them some privacy to recover. They probably wouldn’t appreciate it, that was mostly an Elimtran thing, but it was the effort that counted. They cast about for some other topic to distract. What else had they heard about lately… oh!

“Have you all heard the stories about the rogue Human going around lately?”

There was spluttering, and they turned back to see Roman seemed to have inhaled mid-drink, and was now muffling coughs into his shoulder. Patton studiously avoided eye contact as he patted the Cravon sympathetically. Logan shifted one arm out from where they were politely tucked away, looking intensely intrigued. Strange, he wasn’t usually one for gossip.

“We have not,” he stated, hands twitching in preparation for his thought weaving thing. “Would you care to elaborate?”

“Uh, duh,” they replied, trying not to think too much on the rather extreme reaction.  If the crew was really so stressed, it made sense that news of a Human would freak them out. Shit, they sucked at this. Gathering information would make them feel more secure, yeah? “It’s been circulating at some of the more shady ports we’ve been to, rumors that a small-tier smuggling ring recently managed to rise through the ranks just because they got their hands on a Human and knew how to use it to their advantage. That much is like, okay, horrifying to know that there’s still Humans out there in the outer ranges, but whatever, it’s under lock and key.”

Patton clung to their wing tighter. They paused, deliberating on whether or not to continue.

“I assume, going by the fact that you called h-- it a ‘rogue’ Human, that's not the case anymore?” Logan supplied, waving for them to proceed.

“Well, yeah. Apparently, it tore through practically half the group members before escaping, and now people are reporting cases of a bloodthirsty Human all over this quadrant. Not that the calls are accurate. It’s just hearsay,” they made sure to add. “It might just be someone trying to work the local governs into a panic, put pressure on the Council for this or that political maneuver.”

Logan didn’t respond for a concerning amount of time. “Right. Of course, that is plausible. Still, thank you for the information, Remyy. We will… keep it in mind.”

Remyy sunk lower in their seat, regretting bringing the topic up at all. “Mm. You do that, babes. Remember the stats, too. There’s a warrant out. Sooner or later, the Council will probably find whoever’s at the source of the rumors and put them to rights, Human or not.”

“That’s… great,” Roman got to his feet abruptly. “I think maybe we should head out soon. We’ve got that next landing to prep for, after all. Holmao isn’t known for its gentle terrain.”

“What?” Remyy’s secondaries flared slightly as they stood up too, abandoning their drink and dislodging Patton. “You just got here! Aren’t you at least going to catch a night’s rest? No offense to your ship, but the arti-grav ain’t exactly stellar.”

“That’s why we need to do more jobs! Save up for better arti-grav installation, right guys?” Roman’s voice seemed slightly frantic. Remyy suddenly remembered what little history the Cravon had shared with them, and swore mentally. They really, really shouldn’t have brought up the Human.

“Ro, look, I’m so--”

Their voice abruptly cut off as a cool line of metal pressed between their wings, right against their life vein. They saw as Roman’s eyes locked on something behind them, scales rising to a prickling stand quicker than they’d ever witnessed before.

“Nobody move,” a voice behind them called in clear, precise Common. “Or you get to bleed out right after this one.” The flat of the blade pressed harder against their back, and they couldn’t stop their ears from flattening completely in terror.

“Let them go,” Roman demanded, halfway to a snarl. Before he could even take a step, though, more armed strangers were swarming into the lobby, barking orders for the few other people currently in the room to get down. Expression dark, Roman held his arms out in a gesture of compliance, though his scales continued to stick out in a defensive bristle.

Raiders, it had to be. Remyy knew they knew the reptilian symbol that was engraved in each of the strangers black masks, but they couldn’t remember the group’s name for the fear flooding their mind, keeping them frozen in place.

One of them kicked Patton clear away from Remyy’s legs, and the Ampen let out a short shriek of pain before clapping his hands over his mouth. The raider behind Remyy laughed, apparently unconcerned about any alarms being raised, but Remyy was more focused on the way the Mindscape crew exchanged panicked glances, Logan kneeling next to Patton and subtly signing something in Crav’n.

“Now, here’s how this is going to work.” The one behind Remyy gestured with their other hand, which Remyy could now see was holding a paralyzer. Raiders were known for using them to get information, since most aliens could take a few shots from one before succumbing to the pain. “You’re all going to line up against the wall while we search your vessels, and in exchange, nobody has to die, got it?”

Remyy could only look straight ahead, so they got a clear view of Patton’s furious glow dimming down to horrified in an instant at the leader’s words. Whatever the three of them were hiding, it was hidden on their ship, and apparently not well enough.

They ran their tongue along their teeth for a moment, debating, and then wiggled their ears slightly, loosening the grip their goggles had until they were slipping down their face slightly. Only their upper eyes were exposed, but with any luck, it would be enough.

It wasn’t long till they managed to make eye contact with a nearby raider; the leader was the one giving orders, after all, and they were being held hostage by said leader, so it made sense that eyes would stray in their direction.

The moment they locked gazes, Remyy flickered their pupils and let their senspatches slowly pulse. The raider took a moment to bob their head in confusion before becoming visibly more relaxed, and Remyy didn’t waste any time. 'Circle around and attack the one holding me.'

The raider swayed slightly for a moment before moving to obey, a side effect of not being exposed to the full hypnotic effect of their eyes, and Remyy had a moment to feel hopeful that maybe they could actually pull this off.

“Grahh’m, what are you-- Oh, you little shit,” the leader spat, moments before a strike to the side of Remyy’s head had them seeing stars. They heard Roman growling furiously, still forced to the ground under threat of gunfire, and hoped that he wouldn’t do anything stupid. He wouldn’t be any use if he was convulsing from pain.  

“I should have known better than to leave an Elimtra awake and armed, hmm?” The leader flipped them to their back, pressing a knee to their chest and crushing their secondaries uncomfortably against the floor. A moment later,  their other hand was shoving their goggles harshly back over their face.

Remyy gagged slightly as all the air was forced from their lungs. “Probably should’ve, ye-- eah,” they replied, struggling to inhale again.

“Funny.” There was a glint of silver uncomfortably close to their eyes. The knife. Remyy regretted the snark. They regretted the snark so much.

The leader paused. “Oren, is it the eyes or the little spots under them that do the hypnotizing, do you recall?”

There was a pause, in which ‘Oren’ seemed to have no answer, and Remyy realized with a chill just what was being threatened. The leader considered them for a moment, and then pulled their dark mask further up to cover more of their face.  

“I suppose I’ll just get rid of both, hmm?” The knife wavered closer.

Across the room, there was a loud crash, and a strangled yell that cut off as quick as it started. Remyy watched as the leader’s head jerked up, and saw the moment that the severe frown on their face abruptly transformed into utter terror. Hurriedly, the raider stood back up, and they were pulled up along, shoved in front of them like a shield.

It didn’t take long to see why. Across the lobby, near the entrance to the dock halls, a tall, slender figure was holding the remains of what must have been a seatpad. The rest of it appeared to be lying crumpled along with the limp raider that had been closest to that entryway.

The whisper spread through the room as quick as any small-town rumor: Human.

The being was scanning the eerily-silent space, and when it reached the spot where the leader stood, accompanied by Remyy and friends, it’s lips curled up into a vicious snarl, teeth on full display. It moved forwards in a way Remyy could only describe as predatory, and the leader went tense behind them. “Stop that thing, now!”

One raider, either damn brave or damn stupid, charged right in, and received the rest of the seatpad to the skull for their efforts. Remy winced at the sound. This seemed to be the signal for the rest of the raiders to converge, and the room descended into pandemonium.

In the thick of it all, the Human-- for what else could it really be?-- continued to advance, unrelenting. It wasn’t as fast as some aliens Remyy had met, but it didn’t need to be. The way that it stalked through the room radiated threat like an oath, and when opponents did dare to stand in it’s way, the blows were vicious and crunching, often leaving splatters of residue on its skin.

Most frightening of all was the way it handled the paralyzers, which should have driven any creature with pain receptors to the floor. Each time a shot landed on the human, it would tear the spiked prongs out with a twitch and a grimace and just keep moving.

By the time the leader realized that a strategic retreat was long overdue, it was already far too close for comfort. Remyy heard a swear behind them, and then they were being shoved, hard.

They caught a glimpse of Roman moving, and then they found themself busy tripping directly into a Human’s warpath. So much for surviving this.

They folded their wingarms over their head in some paltry attempt at defense as they fell. There was a grunt, and then a hot grip on their shoulders, all-too-close to the base of their secondaries and stars above were they going to have their glider wings torn clear off--?

“‘Scuse me,” the Human muttered in Common, and then lifted Remyy clear off the ground, easy-as-you-please, and set them down to the side. It brushed past them, heading straight towards Roman and the others, and Remyy stared after it.

Rather than continue after the leader, who had been thoroughly pinned by Roman and was currently swearing viciously, the Human stopped in front of Logan and Patton and dropped to a crouch. Remyy jerked forward, but neither of their friends seemed keen to jump away or defend themselves. In fact, Patton looked to be carefully headbutting the Human’s chest, and Logan was speaking in low, comforting tones. Even stranger, the Human seemed to be listening.

The circuits connected in their mind, illuminating a truly outlandish conclusion.  

They whistled lowly, drawing all the attention in the room to them. “Listen up, babes. As a subsect representative of the Council, I’m authorized to do my thing here, so I’m gonna need everyone to follow my directions.”

“Remyy, what?” Roman asked, and was thoroughly ignored. A nearby Cetarfris protested from where they were practically pressed halfway up the wall, red eyes wide and patterned tail thrashing in terror.

“Are you genuine? Do you not see the Human right there?”

Remyy clicked their tongue in reproach. “Gurl, do I not have enough eyes for you or somethin’? I will handle the Human. What else is the Council good for?”

“Uh, governing?” someone else muttered. Remyy ignored them, too.

“I need all the raiders that haven’t already jetted in holding cells immediately. I’m sure there’ll be a hefty reward for members of this particular gang, even if they’re small fries, so anyone who pitches in can get some of that bounty. And remember, keep your mouths shut about this unless you want to be up to your orifices in paperwork at best. If you have to gossip, keep names out of it or I'll know who snitched.” Remyy shifted their goggles up on their forehead, turning to the Human and ignoring the thick tension in the room. “I’ll escort the Human to proper captivity. Roman, Logan, Patton, with me.”

As expected, the mere fact that the Mindscape crew were accompanying seemed to put the Human at ease, even if just slightly. Now, came the bit that would make or break the lie. They moved forwards slowly and reached out for the Human’s shoulder, tugging slightly at it as though this wasn't the creature that had just plowed through a band of raiders like they were dust in the wind. “C’mon, babes.”

After a pause, the Human followed. The relief in the room was palpable, and Remyy was no exception. They liked a good bet as much as the next guy, but generally preferred when there weren’t so many lives at stake.

See, the thing about being a species that was somewhat infamous for their hypnotic abilities was that everyone assumed you were using them, even if you weren’t. This tended to lean more in the direction of being a bad thing, but in this case, it helped Remyy tremendously, as nobody cast a second glance at them as they guided the docile Human through the lobby.

That might also have been because nobody wanted to be in the same room as a rogue Human for very long, but such was the way of things. Small details.

Soon enough, they reached the dock halls, and Remyy swiftly led the four of them onboard the Mindscape. They closed and locked the connecting port after them, and resisted the urge to collapse in relief.

Instead, they turned around to assess the rest of this mess.

It was quite a scene, and at first, they seemed too busy amongst themselves to even notice Remyy.

The Human was curled in on themself in one corner, looking pallid and ill, but also coiled so tightly it looked like they were one wrong word from fleeing the quadrant. Positioned firmly in front of them, Roman was audibly rattling from head to tail, moving on automatic as he bodily prevented the other two from approaching. Remyy would have thought the gesture was for the Human’s sake if not for the way Roman angled his own body, like he expected to be attacked from behind at any moment.

“It’s not safe,” he uttered over and over, gaze haunted. “It’s not safe. You have to hide.”

Patton warbled in wordless distress, and Logan gave up on trying to pull Roman away, instead simply holding his ground and speaking to the Cravon, calm and firm.

“This isn’t then, Roman. We’re here, and that is Virgil, and he is not going to hurt us. We’re safe. We are on the Mindscape. We are safe. Observe the space around you. Can you tell me five things you see?”

Remyy waited unobtrusively as the two of them slowly coaxed Roman back into the present, bit by bit. When he hunched over to be closer to his shorter friends, Patton carefully grabbed his hand, rubbing small circles into it in a soothing gesture Remyy wasn’t familiar with. “You with us, Ro?”

Roman signed something with his other hand, too quick for Remyy to grasp, and Patton smiled, a bit sad. “We’re okay, but there’s a little bit of a situation going on with Remyy, remember?”

Roman glanced at them, and then to the Human, who was still vibrating violently. Remyy had thought it was barely restrained anger, at first, but the longer they watched, the more it seemed compulsive, more fearful than furious. It only increased as Roman’s attention fell heavy on him.

“I didn’t mean to,” the Human said, voice as shaky as the rest of him. “I swear, I-- I just heard Patton yell, and they had weapons, like-- I… I didn't want to hurt anyone. I’m sorry that I-- that I did. But you guys were in danger. I couldn’t just... leave you to that.”

He sounded almost resigned, like he was trying to plead his case but had already accepted deep down that it was pointless to fight his sentence. When Roman turned away from him, his thoughts only seemed to be confirmed, and his face dropped another shade as his gaze darted over to Remyy. He seemed apprehensive, not that Remyy could really blame him. Poor guy probably thought he was about to be surrendered to law enforcement.

“Remyy.” Roman’s voice sounded wrung out, and from Patton’s concerned expression, the Cravon probably didn’t normally force himself to speak after episodes like this. “Virgil isn’t-- He’s better here with us. He doesn’t... deserve to be subjected to the Council just because he decided to... to save us.”

The Cravon opened his mouth as though to say more, but the words didn’t come. Instead, he signed something short and planted himself in a sitting position in front and slightly to the side of the Human, even as his scales still shivered. ‘Virgil’ was staring at him like he’d grown a second head.

“Roman’s right!” Patton took the opportunity to jump in front of them like the universe’s smallest, cutest guardian angel, cloak and ruff fluffed up stalwartly. Most effective of all was the Ampen’s ‘I’m-not-mad-I’m-just-disappointed-at-your-life-choices’ look. “Virgil is part of our family, and I’ll fight you about it!”

The Ampen’s tiny glare wasn't nearly as alarming as the assessing look Virgil cast over them, like he thought Remyy was really going to try and fight Patton and was prepared to intervene. They resisted the urge to cast their lower eyes up in exasperation. Who would fight Patton? There was no reward, you’d just end up feeling bad. And also end up getting totally trashed by a Human, apparently.

As always, Logan was the one to get it first. He stepped forwards, extending a hand. “Before you take any legal action against our crew member, I’d like to see your Council identification.”

Remyy’s cheeks bunched up smugly as they stretched their armwings out in front of them casually. “That’s too bad, Brainiac, ‘cause I totally don’t have any.”

There was a brief pause. “What, you guys really thought I was some kind of narc?”

“You lied right to all those people’s faces?” Patton asked, somewhat aghast. Roman shot them a dirty look at the deception, but he also let all the tension leak out of him, so Remyy counted it as a win. Logan simply looked exasperated.

“Not completely. I’ve got connections to get their bounties called in quick, and I ‘handled’ the Human, didn’t I? It’s not my fault if they misinterpreted things.”

“This is all you’re going to do to… ‘handle’ me?” the Human asked, looking uncertain, a little suspicious, and even kind of bewildered. “Just… let me go? What’s the catch?”

They really did roll their eyes up this time. “Babes, I’m covering for you. Seeing as you literally just saved my beautiful face, and these losers vouch for you, I figure you can get some benefit of the doubt. Besides, I’m not done with you all just yet.”

The four of them studied Remyy with varying levels of wariness, and then confusion as the Elimtra strolled past them all to head further into the ship.

“If you think you’re going anywhere before you tell me all about how this whole situation came about, honey, you’ve got a big storm coming.”

[hawkinspostbite]

BURN THE WITCH - chapter two

Words: 3,793

MASTERLIST BURN THE WITCH

A/N: I do not claim to, nor do I own Stranger Things; the concept, characters, plot, etc.

Jim had fucked up. In the scheme of things, this wasn’t a royally huge fuck-up; he’d definitely fucked up a lot during his lifetime, but as of that moment, it was pretty important.

It wasn’t the first time he had been late getting home, or broken a promise, he was sure that Anna was used to it by now, but he knew that El had yet to get used to his usual routine. He was never really good at honoring commitments, although, recently he had been trying to make a better habit of doing the opposite. It was turning out to be harder than anticipated.

They sky had grown dark by the time he had finished flagging the land at Eugene’s farm. Eugene and his son and grandchildren had gone back to the house for supper while it was still light out. But it wasn’t until that time, when it was already too late, when Jim had realized he screwed up.

He had made it across town in record time, pretty much breaking every local law in the process. He all but ran up the leaf-covered path to the tiny cabin he called home. He rapped on the door, giving the “secret knock” twice before sighing. “Hey, girls. Open up, alright. Look, I know I’m late… I’ve got candy here, I’ve got all the good stuff.”

No response.

He smacked the door with his palm, growing frustrated. “Please, will you open the door? I’m gonna freeze to death out here!”

Jim heard the locks click, and he rushed inside, closing the door behind him. He scanned the room. The television was out of place, the long cord stretching the length of the living room, and under the door of his daughter’s bedroom. He rolled his eyes, setting the plastic pumpkin filled with candy he had bribed from Eugene’s youngest grandson, down on the coffee table. “Girls, open up, would you? I got stuck somewhere and lost track of time. And I’m sorry.”

Silently, he wished the girls would open their door, but he also would one-hundred-percent understand if they didn’t. Anna had inherited her father’s attitude, as well as his stubbornness, work ethic, and knack for finding trouble. She was a tough nut to crack. She never backed down from a fight or an argument, never let people push her around, and if she had an opinion, she was certain it was heard. Yes, she was definitely his child. (And he secretly was thankful that she favored more after him than her mother because he wasn’t sure he could go through that experience all over again.)

“El, Anna, would you please open the door?”

No response. They were nothing if not consistent.

He sighed, turning around and plopping himself rather dramatically onto the couch. He sighed again, leaning forward to grab the pumpkin from the table. “Alright… I’m just gonna be out here by myself, eating all this candy. I’m gonna get fat… It’s very unhealthy to leave me out here.” In the process of his rant, he began to unwrap a Reese’s cup. “I could have a heart attack or something. But you know, do what you want.”

Rolling his eyes, he flicked the candy wrapper onto the floor, shaking his head at his own stupidity. He had no room to say anything. He couldn’t blame them for not wanting anything to do with him. He had crossed them for the last time (for the time being).

Jim sat in the living room, the muffled sound of the television coming from the girls’s room playing softly in the background of the silence, for quite awhile. After a few hours at least, he decided to stop his moping, for he would never win the game, especially when it was two against one, and turn in for the night.

He turned the lamps off, made sure all the locks on the door were locked, and retreated to his bedroom.

Jim awoke the next morning, slightly shocked to not find Anna on the couch. That’s where she was most mornings when he woke up, that or in the kitchen getting a head-start on breakfast. But today, she was neither place. She was clearly, as he learned the older she got, very good at holding grudges.

He got himself dressed, made two stacks of Eggos, topped with a ridiculous amount of whipped cream and broken-up pieces of Halloween candy, and then went to wake up the girls. “Rise and shine.” He knocked on the door. He had been trying to not enter without warning, or not enter at all, as a promise to work on giving them more privacy. Another hard habit to break.

Still no response.

He knew that Eleven practically woke with the sun, so there was no way she wasn’t awake. “So that’s it huh, still not talking?”

Silence, once again. “Alright. I guess I’m just gonna have to eat both of these triple-decker Eggo extravaganzas on my own.”

He turned back towards the kitchen, and then he heard the door creak open behind him. “No Anna?” He asked, when he saw that only the younger of the two girls had appeared.

She shook her head, and followed him to the table, where there were, in fact, two triple-decker Eggo extravaganzas on the table. “Anna, if you aren’t out here within the next thirty seconds, I’m eating your food.” He called.

Jim waited patiently, giving her a minute, rather than thirty seconds, and then began to cut into the first stack of waffles, sliding the second towards Eleven. “Alright then, your loss!” He called again. “Ya brat.” He mumbled.

“Brat?” Eleven asked, dipping her finger into the whipped cream.

He sighed. “Brat, “a badly-behaved child”. Anna would be a prime example. Now, dig in.” He had attempted to keep it as light-hearted as possible when Eleven was around. She had spent her whole life thus-far being terrified of everyone and everything and as hard as it would be, he was determined to make her feel safe. “Mmm! Mmm! It’s good right?”

Eleven raised her eyebrows at him as she bit into a piece of one of her waffles. “Oh, and you know the great thing about it, is that it’s only like eight-thousand calories.” He laughed at himself.

Eleven gave him a questioning look. His humor was often lost on her.

He turned to look, once again at the television cable that led into her room. “You visited him again last night?”

Eleven looked at the cable as well, then back at Hopper. “He says he needs me.” She said lowly, taking another bite of her breakfast.

“Want me to go check on him?” Jim asked.

She shook her head.

“I know that you miss him, alright. But it’s too dangerous. You’re the last thing he needs right now. You’re gonna see him, soon. And not just in that head of your’s, in real life- I feel like I’m making progress with these people.”

“Friends don’t lie.” Eleven said quietly.

He felt like she was looking into his soul.

“What?”

“You say “soon” on day twenty-one. You say “soon” on day two-hundred and five. You now say “soon” on day three-hundred and twenty-six-“

The way the conversation was going, it felt eerily familiar to the way most conversations with Anna went, from the ages of twelve to fifteen. It was like she had groomed Eleven to be able to handle this exact situation, exactly the way she would have at that age. “What is this, you’re counting the days like you’re some sort of prisoner?”

She ignored him. “When is soon?”

“Soon is when it’s not dangerous anymore.”

“When?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“On day five-hundred?”

“I don’t know.”

“On day six-hundred?”

“I don’t know.” He had to stand his ground. He couldn’t loose his footing with this one.

“On day seven-hundred? Day eight-hundred?”

“I don’t know!”

“I need to see him!”

“I said, I don’t know!”

“Tell me!” Eleven shouted, nodding her head and sending both plates into his lap.

“Shit!” There was whipped cream and candy all down the front of his uniform. He jumped up, and quickly turned to look at the girls’s bedroom door. He had expected Anna to make an appearance after all the commotion, but she still didn’t.

“Friends don’t lie!” The girl stood up, challenging him, before storming across the room back into the bedroom, the door opening and closing with a wave of her hand.

“Shit!” He said again, as he began to clean up the mess his youngest child had made. Between cleaning up Eleven’s mess, and having the change his entire uniform, he was going to be late, that was inevitable.

“When I come home tonight, the T.V better be back out here, and you’d both had better loose your attitudes, or I’m gonna start cracking some skulls, you hear me?” He had shouted at the closed bedroom door on his way onto the porch.

Jim hadn’t actually meant he would physically crack their skulls, though he imagined that he had just scared El half-to-death with his figure of speech. Anna would know what he meant, and then explain it to the her.

On his short drive to work he began plotting his punishments for each child, had they not done what he said by that evening; For Anna, no going out on the weekend for at least a month, she would help volunteer at one of the pumpkin-patches or the library or something like that. And for El, he’d have to somehow disconnect the antenna for the television, because that was that girl’s vice.

As usual, he made quite the commotion upon arrival at the Hawkins police department, slamming doors, trying to lock repeat-offender Murray outside, roughly hanging his coat up, just a normal morning.

The first order of business was trying to track the pumpkin patch rot, on a map. “We found more out by Gilbert’s farm.” Powell said, leaning off the table he was sitting on to point to the general direction on the map.

Jim nodded, making an X on the map with his marker. “Some real nasty stuff. It was sticky.” Callahan said.

“Alright, where else?” He turned to look at his fellow officers.

“That was it Chief.” Powell shrugged, looking down at the small piece of paper in his hand.

“That was it, or you got tired of looking?”

“It was getting dark.” Powell said, posing the statement more like a question.

“I mean, it was really dark.” Callahan backed him up.

“They’re called flashlights, you dipshits.” He snapped, turning back to examine the map.

“Oh, okay…” Callahan muttered. “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”

“Kid giving you problems, Chief?”

Hopper tuned out his co-workers, staring at the map. He tried to recognize a pattern in the rot locations, or at least some focus-point to where they could start an investigation. Suddenly, he ripped it off of the wall, pushing Callahan off the table, and laying it down flat for them to see overhead. He took a red marker, drawing three circles around the areas of the rot. At the center of the smallest circle, was Hawkins Lab.

Without a word, he grabbed the map, folding it and grabbing his coat. “Hey Chief, where are you going?” He ignored Powell’s question as Flo, not even looking up from her work, handed him the keys to his truck. “You want us to go back out there?”

Where was he going? He was going back to that fucking lab. That dreaded place, that, between the appointments he attended with Joyce for Will, “business” meetings, and general law check-ups, had basically become his second home.

Without a word, he was let through the gates, in the front doors, and straight up the stairs and into Dr. Owens’s office. “Sit down, I’ve gotta show you something.”

He slammed the map onto Owens desk, quickly explaining the story of the poisoned crops on various farms within the area. “Grass, crops, trees, everything in this area is either dead or dying. That’s a radius of over three miles. And it all leads back to here.” Jim pointed to the lab in the center circle on the map.

“See, these patterns here are really pretty. I like the design. It’s almost psychedelic.”

Owens was attempting to make a joke out of the situation. Hopper didn’t find it funny. “This is a joke to you, huh?”

“No, it’s not a joke, it’s just- I don’t understand what this has to do with me Chief.”

“Whatever’s happening is spreading from this place. From this lab.” Growing increasingly more agitated, Jim sat down in the office chair.

“That’s impossible. The last burn was two days ago. It’s contained.”

“What if there’s a leak?”

“A leak?” Owens scoffed.

“I don’t know, man! You’re the scientist!”

“Exactly.” Owens slid the map back towards Hopper. “And I’m telling you, there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Convince me.” Jim challenged.

“Convince you?”

“Yeah, you and your egg-head friends, go out to every area on this map, you run your tests, or whatever the hell you do, and you see if anything comes up.”

Owens laughed. “Alright, so you’re giving me orders now? No.” He shook his head. “That’s not how this works.”

“I keep things nice and quiet for you. And you keep your shit out of my town, so I can keep my kid safe! That is the deal! I have done my part, now you do your’s. Convince me.” Hopper slid the map back towards Owens, before storming out of his office. “I’m gonna assume you’re following me!”

Hopper stood proudly as he watched Owens gather a team of his colleagues/employees, and pile them into hospital vans. They set out for Merrill’s farm, as it was the closest to the lab.

Owens stood with the chief as they watched men dressed head-to-toe in full hazmat suits, dig up chunks of soil, and take whole pumpkins for testing. “Well, you were right about these pumpkins. Some nasty stuff. And the smell, mother of God-“

“So what exactly do you think is going on here?” Jim asked.

“Well, I told you what I think.” Owens looked at him, catching his glare. “But, we’ll run the tests and see what comes up. In the meantime, I just need you to keep the area clear for us. Don’t think it’ll be more than a day or two.”

“What do you want me to tell people?”

Owens shrugged, turning to face him fully. “I’m sure you’ll figure something out.” He patted him on the arm, before walking to his car, getting in it, and driving away.

“Hey, chief, you copy?” Powell’s voice on his walkie broke him from his trance.

“Yeah.”

“Do you remember that Russian girl Murray was goin on about the other day?”

Jesus Christ.

“Yeah, well now I’m thinking he’s not so crazy after all.” Powell finished.

Hopper’s voice quieted. “Stay where you are. Do. Not. Move.” He almost broke into a sprint as he raced to get to his truck, barely shutting the door before he was speeding to the location Powell said he and Callahan were at.

Once he arrived at the scene, he had the woman re-tell her story. “You don’t need to make a report on this, there wasn’t a crime committed.” He told Callahan as he walked towards the mother and daughter.

“It was a young girl, maybe twelve or thirteen, short, curly brown hair, very soft-spoken. She had a grey shirt on, with jeans and a brown coat.”

“What did she say? Did she say anything to you?”

“She just asked where the school was. So I pointed her in that direction and by the time I turned around to look at her again, she was gone.”

“Did she do anything to hurt you, or scare you? Cause you any harm?”

“No. No, it just shocked me to see a girl alone in the woods in the middle of the day.”

“Thank you, thanks, my officers will handle it from here. Appreciate your time.” He didn’t need any more clues to tell him that El had left the house. He should’ve known it was coming sooner or later, but for her to be so careless, it was almost ridiculous.

He left the scene before Powell or Callahan could even say goodbye, and drove straight home.

That was it. She had pushed him right over the edge. The situation was not unfamiliar. He had spent many nights in the past two years sitting up, angrily waiting for Anna to return after she had snuck out. He began to wonder if these were things that all children did, or was it just his two, that somehow, although having entirely different childhoods, managed to put him through the exact same scenarios repeatedly.

When he got there, Anna’s car was parked in the same spot it always was, almost looking untouched. So at least he knew Angry-Thing-One was home. He didn’t even bother to go inside because he knew he would just break something out of frustration. And Anna would know he was home because she most likely heard him pacing back and forth on the porch.

Jim smoked four cigarettes in a row before he heard the sound of leaves crunching in the dark. As El came into view, she stopped, and the two stared at each other for a moment, before she began to walk towards the house. He outed his cigarette, silently preparing for the battle he was about to engage in.

She walked into the house, with not a word spoken. And he followed right after her, slamming the door in his wake. “Friends don’t lie, isn’t that your bullshit saying?” He whipped his hat off of his head, throwing it onto the couch. “Hey, hey, hey! Don’t walk away from me!”

He managed to step in front of her before she could open the door to her bedroom. “Where’d you go on your little field trip, huh? Where?” El removed her coat, silently walking to hang it on a hook on the coat rack. “Did you go to see Mike?”

“He didn’t see me.”

“Yeah, well that mother and her daughter did, and they called the cops.” He was still blocking the bedroom door. “Now, did anyone else see you? Anyone at all?” He was met with silence. “Come on! I need you to think!”

“Nobody saw me!”

He began to pace, trying to direct her away from the bedroom door. She couldn’t keep retreating from their fights. Fights she had started. “You put us in danger. You realize that, right? You, me, Anna, we’re all in danger!”

“You promised I go.” Tears were now pooling in the young girl’s eyes. “And I never leave! Nothing ever happens!”

Once again, Jim had fully expected Anna to be out of her room by now, playing mediator and watching her young protege in action, but alas, not a peep of sound came from inside the room. “Yeah, nothing happens, and you stay safe!”

“You lie!”

“I don’t lie! I protect, and I feed, and I teach! And all I ask of you is three simple rules, three rules. And you know what? You can’t even do that!” It had now turned into a screaming match, and he wasn’t quite sure who would win.

He turned to walk into the kitchen and El smacked her fists onto the wall. “You’re grounded. You know what that means?” His planning from that morning were finally coming into fruition. “It means no Eggos-“ He opened the freezer, and grabbed the box of food, throwing it onto the floor. “And no T.V, for a week.”

He stormed over to the television, which was now back in it’s proper spot in the living room. He leaned over the back of it, attempting to unplug it from the wall, when an unseen force halted his hand. “Alright, knock it off, let go.” El was standing in front of her bedroom door, head bowed slightly, a stream of blood running from her nostril.

She shook her head.

He attempted to unplug the television again, but was stopped. “Okay, two weeks.” He tried to unplug it again. “Let go!”

Once again, she shook her head.

“A month.”

“No.” Eleven demanded.

“Well congratulations.” Jim turned back to the T.V. “You just graduated from no T.V for a month, to no T.V at all.” He caught her off-guard, unplugging the cord from the wall and quickly taking out his pocket-knife, cutting through it.

“No!” El shouted, rushing over to attempt and save her beloved television. She kept muttering “no” to herself as she tried to fix it.

Hopper took a moment to ground himself, reminding himself that he was not only dealing with a child, but a child with psionic abilities that had been spending an awful lot of time with his daughter. “You have got to understand that there are consequences to your actions.”

“You are like papa!” El turned to him angrily.

“Really, I’m like that psychotic son of a bitch?” He sighed, still trying to remind himself who he was dealing with. “Wow, okay. You wanna go back in that lab? One phone call, I can make that happen.”

“I hate you.” Tears were running down her cheeks.

“Yeah, well I’m not too crazy about you either. You know why, cause you’re a brat. Remember what that word means?” El was almost stunned by him. “You don’t? How about we look it up, B-R-A-T, brat.”

He tossed the book in the air, towards her, but with one swipe of her hand, it was suspended in mid-air. She flung it at him. “Hey, what the hell is wrong with you?” He began to walk towards her but she had now pushed the couch into his legs, almost knocking him over. “Hey, hey!”

El knocked over the book case outside of her and Anna’s bedroom. “Stop walking away from me!” She turned to walk towards her bedroom door, but her need for confrontation got the better of her and she stopped.

Tears were now running rampant down her cheeks. “You wanna go out in the world? You’d better grow up, grow the hell up!”

El’s hands were shaking, as she let out a monstrous shriek, every window in the cabin blew out, glass flying everywhere. Sobbing, she pushed past him and into the bedroom, not bothering to shut the door all the way.

Furious, and not backing down from the fight, Jim followed her, slamming the door open.

And then he felt his heart sink.

Eleven was the only other person in the room.

So where the hell was Anna?

[holmjanson-blog]

“This is Zululand not Disneyland. You can’t book animals to show up,” our safari guide Christian reminded us. Granted, he had sort of taunted us because on the first game drive we went on he asked what we hoped to see; we said giraffes and he delivered about 40 giraffes to our view in front of us! Now we were getting in his Land Rover for game drive number two and I told him I wanted to see elephants. It’s not as if I had asked specifically for Dumbo or anything; however, he’s right Safari tours are unpredictable.

There are no guarantees when it comes to wildlife and a safari tour, and that’s one of the things I actually like about wildlife travel – it makes it exciting and unpredictable. And there have been times when I went on a specific trip to see an animal and we never did see it (see my story about the Great Bear Rain Forest) – it’s disappointing, but it’s still all part of the journey to me. Even though you don’t have any control over your ability to see a certain animal on safari, there are some things you can do ensure you get the most possible out of your South Africa safari.

First, you have to choose where to go on safari; national park or a private game reserve. I chose Thanda Private Game Reserve for my safari experience. Only a 3-hour drive from the seaside town of Durban, Thanda offers a multitude of experiences that take you deeper than a typical game drive safari, and ensures that you get as much out of your South Africa safari experience as you possibly could. And the touches of luxury weren’t too bad either!

What is the difference between a private game reserve and a national park?

First things first, you must decide between doing a safari in a national park like Kruger, or a private game reserve. Both are vigilant at conservation and proper wildlife protection. However, the two offer quite different experiences. I’ve actually done both and they both have yielded very different experiences.

National Park

The park land is government owned and managed. These can be huge areas, however there normally aren’t as many employees to manage it. One of the biggest differences is the fact that off-road game viewing isn’t allowed in national parks; the drivers must stick to the prescribed roads. This can sometimes limit your ability to track and view animals. National Parks have opening/closing hours so no night drives are permitted and you won’t get experiences like walking safaris in national parks. However, in many national parks you are allowed to self-drive if you are adventurous. Finally, there are normally more people in national parks so at times they may appear more crowded.

You’ll also find differences in accommodation; national parks are more budget driven. You can still find lovely, quality lodging there, but not super high-end luxury lodges.

When I started traveling in 2006, I did a 2 day safari in Samburu National Park in Kenya. It was my first safari experience and it was lovely. Our typical day consisted of doing 2 game drives on the prescribed roads and then hanging out at the pool. It wasn’t luxury – but it fit my budget at the time!

Private Game Reserve

The land is owned or leased by an individual or company and turned into wild. The owner owns the animals. It is a pure business concern, but it also is good for conservation. The accommodations are typically pretty over-the-top luxury (Thanda is no exception!). Reserves are limited to the amount of people they can host; therefore, the experience is more intimate. Plus, the private reserves normally attract some of the best guides since the pay is better.

One of the big differences is the types of experiences you can have at a private reserve. You can drive off road to track and view animals, night safaris are available, and many offer walking safaris.

Off-roading at a private game reserve offers more flexibility

This being my second safari experience, I decided to do a reserve this time in South Africa. I went to Thanda Safari Private Game Reserve and had the experience of a lifetime.

See the Trip Advisor Reviews for Thanda Safari Private Game Reserve

6 Ways Thanda Safari Goes Deeper

Located in the wilderness of northern KwaZulu Natal, South Africa – Thanda is a luxury Big Five reserve. It is a game reserve that came to life thanks to Swedish investor, Don Olufson. He and his family fell in love with South Africa and specifically Kwazulu Natal. He bought land and turned it back into the wild. They only brought the animals back that were indigenous to the area. In the beginning, he built the villa as their home, and they had a small tented camp for visitors. Later it was decided to build the lodge with 9 luxury bush suites and a tented camp offering.

Based on my first safari experience in the national park, I had no idea a safari tour could be this diverse in experiences until I spent 5 days at Thanda. After the trip I walked away with so much wildlife knowledge filling my head that I couldn’t wait to share it all! I also walked away with incredible photography and a new, renewed, relaxed attitude.

Of course, Thanda Safari offers your typical wildlife drives in the morning and evening, plus special night drives. The first time we went off-road through the bush following elephant tracks, I giggled with excitement as we bounced around in the Land Rover! On our first drive we saw more animals that I had ever seen on my first safari. The drivers/trackers and guides were incredible at spotting animals and maneuvering us so close I could practically touch them; leaving my heart in my throat at times.

But it was the little touches and other offerings from Thanda that made it much more of an immersive and deeper South Africa safari experience that makes me label it a “trip of a lifetime”.

1. In the Path of Wildlife/Tracking

We stop on the ridge overlooking the fog covered valley and Amanda holds up an antenna that looks like it’s from the 50’s. There’s a bunch of crackling sounds. Suddenly you hear a faint beep (similar to a van backing up) and Amanda starts to turn the antenna around which effects the frequency of the beep. “The strength of the beep indicates how close they are,” Amanda explains as she continues to fine tune the direction of the antenna to the beeping noise.

Amanda is the Ulwazi program coordinator who is showing us all about how she tracks the animals in the park. “My job is to make sure they stay out of trouble,” she explains. We hear a nice ‘crispy’ steady beep and know we are locked in on the direction of the collared cheetah. Driving in that direction, we stop occasionally to get another reading. Quietly we pulled around a corner and there she was – the female cheetah with her fresh, bloody antelope kill.

I’m startled as she looks up when we pull into the deep grass only 30 ft away from her. It’s here where we spend the next hour just watching and observing this beautiful creature devour her catch. We sat there silently in the Land Rover hearing her crunch on bones, observing her behavior, and watching her look up occasionally a bit skittish. It felt like a dream.

The reserve is home to five cheetahs. They are dainty animals who are on their way to critically endangered status. In addition to the many animal threats for them, there has also been habitat loss for them. There is a small gene pool left globally; less than 7,000 in the wild. It’s the reserves, like Thanda, who are doing lots of the breeding and conservation work for cheetahs, and I felt so lucky to be a part of it even if just for a morning.

Thanda offers cheetah, rhino, and elephant tracking with a member of the Wildlife Conservation team to learn more about the conservation efforts. Cheetah tracking was one of my many highlights. Not only did we learn all about conservation, we learned how to track them ourselves as well as the costs associated with protecting these sleek cats. It was a unique look behind the scenes and a great way to mix up the typical game drive.

2. Tracking Rhinos By Foot

I don’t think I realized how big of a deal this was until the jeep pulled away and we were all just standing there – on the ground – with no transportation. My heart raced.

“I’m not saying we are going to find a rhino, but we will try,” said Truman, the Reserve Operations and Security Manager. “It’s quite a windy day…,” his sentence trailed off as he looked around nervously. I could tell he was trying to decide if we should do this walk by foot on such a windy day. He went on to explain, “When its windy, animals don’t hear as clear, and our scent travels quicker. Plus, we don’t always hear what’s happening around us.”

As soon as I took a few steps, I realized I had a whole different safari perspective. I sort of felt like what it was to be an animal living in this tall grass – wondering what predator was around the corner. It’s easy to feel safe in a jeep, but on the ground, I really felt exposed.

Safari by foot is an adrenaline rush!

It was a complete adrenaline rush. As Truman stopped to show us dung, footprints, broken branches, and flattened grass where you could tell animals had been sleeping, I was on high alert. My heart raced and all of my senses heightened, as we bushwhacked through shoulder-high grass. I worried about tics, bees, water buffalo, and lions – strangely you want to see them and you don’t at the same time. It’s a strange push/pull on your emotions.

After sweating and walking through the high grass and trees for 2 hours I was exhausted. But suddenly I saw Truman hold up his hand indicating we should stop. He then motioned for us to get down low. I followed Truman’s pointing finger and saw an animal move in the distance. A white rhino and a 2 ½ year old baby were feeding just ahead of us. They were luckily about 200 feet away, but it was pretty incredible to watch the animals while feeling so vulnerable.

After our walk that day, Truman talked to us about the Anti Poaching Team and the work the reserve does to specifically protect the rhinos in the reserve. It was a fascinating look into the history and current day issues of the ‘war on poaching’.

Yes, it was cool to see the animals on the ground, but the experience was much more about the feeling of vulnerability and senses to me. Rhino tracking by foot is a unique sensory experience.

3. Photography Lessons On Safari

Let’s face it, a safari is an investment and so is photography. You really want to make sure you are maximizing your benefits in both of these areas yielding the best images you possibly can. Professional photographer Christian Sperka is the resident wildlife photographer at Thanda Safari. He works as a Specialist Photography and Field Guide and also teaches wildlife photography at the reserve. Every guest is offered a complementary photo workshop session talking about best practices for shooting wildlife in the reserve. He does this for both DSLR’s AND smart phones!

However, if you really want to improve your photography and get the best pictures possible, then having Christian drive/guide you in his special photography vehicle, the Green Mamba, is a one-of-a-kind safari experience. The vehicle is private and set up specifically for photographers with bean bags, room for extra equipment, and padded floors for kneeling.

Shooting from the padded floor of the Green Mamba

But it’s not just about the vehicle, Christian also will set up shots for you ensuring that he positions the vehicle in the perfect placement for lighting or that sunset shot. He knows the animals so well that he can anticipate where they will go and where exactly the Green Mamba needs to be to get the shot. In addition, he takes into account your lenses you are using and how close you will need to be for a successful photo shoot. He’ll review your images and provide tips as well as even shoot candid images of you or your group the entire time.

My photography from my first safari to this Thanda safari improved immensely. I was so happy with how close we could get to the animals that some of my best shots came from my GalaxyS9+ phone! When you have a professional photographer as your guide, you can’t go wrong!

In addition, the Green Mamba isn’t only designed for photographers in mind, it also has other perks. Every morning at Thanda we had a 5:30 am wakeup call and are on our game drive by 6am. Christian’s pimped out photo Safari vehicle also has a coffee bar on the back! We stop mid-way through the morning and Christian transforms from photographer guide to barista and make coffee drinks in the bush!

And for evening drives, it turns into a martini bar! My favorite memory is when we did a martini happy hour for our evening drive and giraffes and zebras came and joined us for a drink near the watering hole!

4. Visit Local Zulu People

Every morning and evening you go on a game drive at Thanda. However, that leaves your afternoons free. There are many activities that you can choose from – like visiting a local school or farmstead. We did both! We toured around the buildings and sat and talked to the elders, teachers, and kids about traditions and culture.

5. Volunteering

There are many volunteer opportunities in South Africa – but if you want to work with wildlife and do hands on work in conservation and wildlife management, then check out Ulwazi Research. We spent a day there doing some hands-on work and research ourselves. In addition to constructing bee hotels, we went out with the research team and tracked and observed cheetahs and elephants. They offer 1, 2, and 4 week programs and the facilities are lovely. Work on existing projects such as cheetah and elephant tracking/monitoring, participate in animal inventories, map invasive alien vegetation for removal, or build and develop an environmental awareness program in the surrounding communities. I loved this offshoot of Thanda as an option for people who want to travel a deeper into a wildlife reserve and become a part of a conservation team!

6. Go Behind the Scenes of Wildlife and Park Management

Rhino Dehorning, and Animal Care

I was able to observe a rhino dehorning while staying at the reserve. Thanda Safari has been dehorning their rhinos to decrease the chance that the rhinos will be killed by poachers who are after the horn. Plus, dehorning is also done because the neighboring parks dehorn. This does not harm the rhino. The horn is made of keratin; similar to fingernails or hair, their horn grows back every 2 years. So, consider it like a haircut! Being able to see a dehorning (which is an option for guests), was a highlight as it made me understand the whole process and poaching crisis better. In the last decade, over 8,300 rhinos have been lost to poaching which has led to their critically endangered status.

In addition to dehorning observation, you can also observe other animal management.

Speak with the Wildlife Manager

“We need to know how much food we have for prey and that determines how many predators you can support. If we have X kg of food, you then need to know how many animals you can have to eat the food. Twelve lions means we can have 5 cheetahs,” explained wildlife manger Mariana.

If you are anything like me – this type of conversation excites and fascinates you. For those who want to dig deeper into the Reserve business, wildlife management or security, you can request to talk to Mariana to learn more.

Not everything in wildlife management is a simple formula though as Mariana continued to explain, “It’s very complicated how prides are formed and you can’t just bring in new lions and put them in the pride – they won’t be accepted. We have to start a new pride and hope that they meet up somehow and join each other. If you make the wrong decision, you can’t fix it quickly.”

She also organizes the Rhino darting and other medical observations with guests as well as leads the animal inventory every year. To learn more about that and other things such as fire management and water point management, she’s a super person to sit and talk to!

How Much Does It Cost to Go on Safari at Thanda?

I will first preface this with – this was one of the best trips I’ve gone on in 13 years of traveling around the world. And it wasn’t simply about the luxury, for me it was more about the extra experiences that took me deeper into the reserve understanding the conservation programs, animal management, and meeting the locals.

Safari’s are expensive, and when you are a place that has been named one of the World’s Leading Luxury Lodges – you have to expect that you will pay for that experience.

There are a number of different lodging options at Thanda ranging from super luxury to luxury, to glamping, to volunteering!

Safari Lodge

Racking up a bunch of awards, Thanda Safari Lodge has been named World’s Leading Luxury Lodge and I can totally understand why! I can’t even believe that I was lucky enough to stay there! The lodge is comprised of 9 different suites that are free-standing, large, exquisite works of architecture. Each has a living room area, bedroom, and a big stone fireplace that connects the two. The bathroom is as large as my studio apartment with indoor and outdoor shower and big soaking tub. And finally – the outdoor deck is as big as the villa with a gorgeous personal plunge pool, and gazebo with a lounging bed. Animals are able to walk around freely outside your door since the lodge area isn’t fenced in! I was hoping for an elephant to come for a visit to my plunge pool!

$500 to $670 USD per night per person. All food/bev included plus 2 game drives a day and photo course.

Villa Izulu

The first few nights we stayed in Villa Izulu, a private home in the reserve. This 10,700 sq ft home sleeps 6 to 10 guests complete with pool, open air design, library, game room, wine cellar, decks that overlook a watering hole visited by the Big 5, a helicopter landing pad, and a butler. I basically entered another world….one that I’m not accustomed to, but loved! In all seriousness though – it is a really cool option for a large family safari trip – and the helicopter is optional!

$3000 to $4000 USD for entire villa, butler, cook. All food/bev included plus 2 game drives a day and photo course.

Tented Camp

There is also a glamping option for lodging too. I didn’t stay there, however, I did take a little tour of it. This is the most economical option for lodging at Thanda – and it comes with the high quality that you would expect! Thanda Tented Camp offers an authentic safari adventure with 15 luxury safari tents!

$280 to $370 USD per night per person. All food/bev included plus 2 game drives a day and photo course.

Still too expensive? Then why not try the Ulwazi volunteering option at Thanda and really get involved in the reserve! Learn more about Ulwazi here. Costs range from $700 for one week of food/lodging, laundry, and hands-on bush training. Or $2650 for 4 week program.

Tip: Avoid jetlag When you Head to Your South Africa Safari

If you go to Thanda, you’ll fly into Durban. I suggest you land in Durban and stay at Oyster Box Hotel on the coast. It will allow you one day of downtime before you start your safari. You can relax in style and walk up and down the coast, have high tea, enjoy their curry bar, and lounge around with their hotel cat!

My curiosity was satiated. I learned an immense amount during my extra experiences at Thanda; walking away with a much greater understanding of wildlife and the people who run the reserves. It was more than learning about facts and figures, it was learning about how to really care about the animals and issues. Any time when travel results in transformation, that’s traveling deeper.

Thanda Safari Private Game Reserve

To see more details on Thanda’s unique experiences, check out the Thanda Website.

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