#the audacity this kid has to come in and ruin everything miguel has worked over?

[silly-bees]

i know we shit on miguel for beating up miles and how it was unnecessary and stuff, and that's totally true. he should not be beating the hell out of children. he definitely should spend time in spider-jail for that. but can we talk about how terrified this man must be?

the loss of his daughter is fresh- possibly within less than a year fresh, and it was all his fault (at least that is what is interpreted by him). an entire UNIVERSE got destroyed because of his actions and now some punk kid who he was been trying to hard to keep out of this operation suddenly appears and starts making the same mistakes miguel did.

miguel sees this kid preaching that he can fix it all and miguel 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘴. he can remember thinking those same things. he can remember the naivety of being someone new to multi-dimensional travel; but understanding doesn't change the risks, and this kid threatens everything miguel has seeked to fix.

miles is thinking like miguel did and that terrifies him. it terrifies him that what happened to his world would happen to everyone else's and it would inevitably be 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘭'𝘴 fault. not miles', not anyone else, miguel's (in his mind, anyway).

so, yes. yes he shouldn't have chased miles, but fear does things to the brain. fear leads to desperation and desperation leads to miles' determination and that leads to more fear and it continues in this vicious cycle of pain, danger and pure, guilty terror.

i'm not excusing his actions, but i understand them. i understand them and it hurts so bad in a good way.