#the emily arc is and should be focused on scully but like. mulder is also kinda goin through it.

[pennyserenade]

there is a plethora of good x-files fanfics out there and i've just started to develop the problem of reading a very good one and not being able to find it again. because of this - and because all of these are genuinely novel worthy and the writers are INSANELY talented - i've decided to compile a list of some of my absolute favorites. some of these are from ao3 & some of them i found on other websites, such as x-libris and the gossamer project. i hope you enjoy these as much as i did and do. they mean the world to my romantic heart.

incrementum by lepusarcticus (explicit) - this was the first x-files fanfic i ever remember reading. i was trying desperately not to spoil the show for myself and i found out that this fic followed along the narrative, which was a godsend. i got the best of both worlds: a delectable, angsty passionate mulder/scully fic (in which they fucked from day 1) and no spoilers. it was so so so so fun reading this alongside watching the show. this writer is brilliant

omens by lepusarcticus (explicit) - i was not lying when i said this writer is brilliant. this entire thing reads like a novel and i could not for the life of me put it down when i stumbled upon it. its angsty and interesting, and could very well be another episode of the x-files because the case mulder and scully are one is so compelling. it is not easy feat to write something this good. chris carter, eat your heart out

triptych by iconicscullyoutfits (not rated but i'd say mature) - THIS WAS SO FUCKING GOOD. i can't speak highly enough about this one. its an au where mulder is married to diana fowley when he meets scully. its so so so so amazing. like i'd very well call this literature because it expanded my mind (i learned a great deal from this, especially from the chapter ice). i think diana was a very interesting character and i feel as though this fic treats her with the interest she deserves. the writing in this one is simply insane too - i'm envious of it and so so so in love with it.

love in all the wrong places by sisterspooky1013 (explicit) - mulder and scully accidentally have cybersex with each other while trying out online dating group chats. what more can i say? (also i applaud this author for making mulder's online handle allshookup61. that's so fucking mulder)

universal invariants (set from 1 to early season 2) and its sequel, laws of motion (set season 5) (both explicit) by syntax6 - these both hold such a special place in my heart. it is an au that takes on the idea that scully's bf (who was cut from the pilot, never to see the light of day) stays in the picture and there when dana starts working with fox. universal invariants makes me want to weep to because dana and fox are both so young and earnest and stupid! and laws of motion is great because they're still stupid but they're wiser about it. this is very dana and fox. i love, love, love the parts of universal invariants that cover dana's abduction arc. god these are GOOD.

arizona highways by fialka (explicit) - if you're one of those girlies who really likes an x-files episode that has a lot of case-file and scully going on, this one is FOR you. it is angsty in the worst of ways, covering more of what we see in the episodes christmas carol and emily. this is another one that i would call a novel, both in length and content. it is great and it is a very good dive into the character of scully and how she handles problems in her life

heart's desire by malibusunset (explicit) - this another really great scully-focused fic, where mulder is being a bit of an ass - as he is prone to - but she makes him come to his senses accidentally. i love a good jealous mulder and i love it even more when scully isn't exactly aware she's making him that way. this is so good that i stayed up an entire night reading it. you should too!

the guts / the incision / cauterize by wtfmulder (not all of the chapters are explicit but i would call this explicit in general) - this one is so fucking angsty it made me ache incredibly. it is a sucker punch to the gut that only the lovers (or rather, dedicated haters) of the diana/fox/dana situationship can truly appreciate. also, if you like your mulder a bit of an ass (i do! i think he really can be! i think its good to talk about!) this author is for you!!!

doorway to gods by wtfmulder (explicit) - a fic where mulder & scully go investigate a supposed portal to other dimensions shortly after scully recovers from cancer, and they both find themselves in separate hellish alternative universes where other mulder & scullys aren't doing so well. this is angsty, TOP TIER angsty. some of the scenes from this i think about often still and i read this a month ago. also this is hot. i can't not mention that small fact

the tiger complex by longgunguy (i'd say r for graphic violence but no sex or anything) - i'll be real, there isn't a whole lot of mulder/scully romance in this thing, aside from the a hand hold and a lot of quiet affection but this IS the x-files. in another world, this fic is an episode and it is brutal. you'll be biting your nails as you make your way through this one. its got a great cast of original characters and an incredible case-file, up there with an episode like ice.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

one word? omg omg can u do ‘children’ pls (IM GOING TO CRY)

I've never seen you as a mother before, Mulder had said once, and it was like a revelation. He'd seen her with the Eves, with Kevin Kryder, even once with her godson because he'd stopped by while she was babysitting. Scully's gentleness is something he's not sure he'll ever learn the end of, but he's all but entranced to see her like that. He doesn't register it as mothering at first, but once he does, he can't forget the thought.

That same conversation in Home, Pennsylvania held more than just that realization, though. They'd brushed up against something, the prospect of their futures — even, tentatively, backhandedly, a future together; one, singular future. Über-Scullys and genetic compatibility were as close as they could get, being who they are, to hinting at something more.

Mulder has been thinking about it since the case in Maryland, with the subliminal messaging via television tapes; he'd thought Scully was dead, and it hit him like yet another flash of sudden insight: he loves her. And somehow, despite the horrors playing out around them in Home, that's the main thing on his mind. She lets him flirt, lets him put his hand on her back and talk about starting a family, and he wants to tell her. He wants to tell her he loves her, that he wants that future and family with her, but all he can say is "I've never seen you as a mother before".

And nearly a year later, seeing her with her very real daughter, seeing her lose her daughter, he wants to tell her again. It's the wrong time, she's barely hanging onto her emotional control now, but he drives her back to his hotel room instead of her brother's house after the small funeral and wants to tell her he loves her. He's seen her with children before, but he's never seen her so bright and hopeful as those few minutes they played on the floor with her daughter. It's exceedingly selfish to be thinking like this right now and he knows it, but when he sees her turn her face away in the passenger seat so he doesn't see her cry (even though he knows she's crying), something in him aches with longing.

Sand in a casket makes him grit his teeth, because no matter what else Emily was, she was a little girl and she was Scully's little girl. He's always had a soft spot for lost little girls — he has a psychology degree, he knows exactly why — and while he wants nothing more than to comfort Scully right now, he also has some kind of belated protective instinct that makes him want to avenge her lost little girl. Scully deserves so much better. Emily deserved a life.

He'd once told Scully he hadn't thought of her as a mother before, implying then that he had a new perspective — and he did; the thought took root in his mind, Scully with a child, children, a future together. It wasn't until he saw her with Emily that he fully conceptualized what that meant; he would have given up anything for Scully and her little girl — his work, his search for his sister, everything he's put his whole heart into for so long. He would have asked Scully to marry him.

Now, he lets her into his hotel room and watches her curl up, fully clothed, on his bed. She doesn't say a word, and he doesn't either. He doubts she wants him very close right now, but he sits at the end of the bed and gently, tentatively reaches out and rests a hand on her ankle. He's here if she wants him to be; however she wants him to be. He can't comprehend her pain at finding and then losing her child, and his own pain is irrelevant. He should have told her before now about her ova, he thinks, because now she's grieving her inability to have children as well as the daughter she did have.

He'd never seen her as a mother before; now he sees it painfully clearly.

[likos064]

More Free-Thought Ramblings

Posting again, though no one’s listening

RAMBLING 8

The one person on The X-Files that Miles Robbins looks the most alike is Billy Miles. More than Krychek or any version of the Cigarette Smoking Man (Chris Owens or the new guy). 

It is amusing that the casting department of Twin Peaks didn’t care about parents and children looking alike, thus hiring the actor who played Scully’s father, Don S. Davis to play the father of Bobby Brigss, portrayed by Dana Ashbrook, who has dark hair and that kid looking more like Miles Robbins, however, that doesn’t mean that anyone resembles anyone. It is just a fun observation. Especially since they were more careful about making the Scully siblings look alike, and have a small resemblance to their father, but not mother. Why no one has dark haired when their mother has is a genetical mystery, recessive redhead line in her blood?

RAMBLING 9

I would argue that the child most fucked up by the Scully-Family dynamic is Bill. I don’t know Charlie as a person besides being absent at every family crisis and using his older sister as a baby sitter, per Home she babysat her nephews who watched Babe the entire time. However, from what we learn in One Breath and Christmas Carol, Melissa did whatever the fuck she wanted. In Anazazi, deleted scene, she stays with Maggie, and she doesn’t seem to have returned before Scully is in a coma. It seems like Mulder is the only support Maggie had during Scully’s abduction. Bill is introduced during the cancer arc, and then when he is to have his long awaited child, he and Tara had fertility issues. I think Bill tried to be the man but was crushed under the enormity of his father. So he became a stricter version. Bill Scully Sr seems way less overbearing.

Maggie is abusive and emotionally manipulative when the only time her daughter calls her is when she needs something. 

Would someone run to a person that they only have an obligation bond with when they are scared, and sad. Scully runs to Maggie when she believes Mulder is dead, meets up with Melissa first - who sucks at comfort, and asks for her mother and when she believes that he is part of the conspiracy. She feels safe with her mother. Why? Calling her mother when she needs someone to talk to in Within.

Vilifying good characters and defending evil ones.

The insistence on making women who are portrayed as cruel towards Mulder victims; flawed and imperfect as we all are while not giving the same consideration to men: Bill Mulder vs Teena Mulder, Phoebe and Diana vs Jeffrey Spender.

When should Maggie have defended Mulder to Bill? Scully never does it either.

Scully and Mulder being dismissive of Melissa’s spirituality

Maggie only following her daughter’s wishes in One Breath, it is in accordance with Scully’s living will.

RAMBLING X

Chris Carter’s writing focus being the message, not necessarily the plot but the greater societal commentary.

Vince Gilligan focusing on character, always character and not necessarily Mulder and Scully

Glen and James clearly showing their disdain for Mulder and David in their writing and that being rationalised as writing for both characters and writing the true Mulder and Scully.

MSI being about Mulder

MSII being about Scully

MSIII being about the Cigarette Smoking Man

MSIV being about William/Jackson

The breakup not being Chris Carters construct, but he being forced to take the public blame. The other writers giving much more of a mileage than Chris. Chris writing Plus One, but having to explain in an interview that they aren’t back together, referencing the later episodes particularly Rm9sbG93XJz (Followers) and Nothing Lasts Forever.

Glen and James never wanted Scully with Mulder. They wrote Scully the victim of the man who will simply never be worthy of her in their eyes. She can do whatever she wants and he is just supposed to be there without any thoughts and feelings of his own. A silent, nay silenced stoic rock that she can lean on when she needs him. That doesn’t exist outside of her.

Chris always seeing Mulder and Scully together but focusing on the spiritual romantic platonic connection, same as Gillian did with Scully and Daniel in all things, and not the sexual one.

Chris being blamed for other writers decisions. James seemingly killing off Jackson in Ghouli, the parallel to All Souls, somehow becoming Chris’ fault.

Kristen Cloke Morgan and Shannon Hambling arguing that a woman cannot exist as a person if she is with a man.

The obsession with equality in number of lines in Followers, but no real critique at the sidelining of David and Mulder in Home Again and Ghouli.

The Scully Effect panel complaining that Mulder gets one line about his son in Familiar. Whiie the entire episode of Ghouli focuses on Scully’s feelings about her son.

The MSR fandoms female contingents hatred of men. 

Glen Morgan and James Wong coming back to finish what they started in season four. Separate Scully and Mulder, destroying any chance of a romance, destroying any connection by having Scully sign Mulder into a mental institution.

Leaving him over a clinical depression.

Equality meaning equality not preferential treatment.

Scully’s sister and Mulder’s father both being killed in the season 2/season 3 three parter. Season 3 being about Scully getting justice for her sister. Mulder’s father’s death being swept under the carpet and unexplored.

RAMBLING 11

Questions: Who named Jackson, Chris or James, or rather renamed him? - commentary: Chris refers to him as William in his cue cards for the episodes, while James uses Jackson - so probably James

Does the renaming mean something?

Is it a hint that we should question Mulder’s paternity, William being named after his father, Fox Mulder’s father, William Mulder to ascertain paternity in Existence.

Name something and make it yours.

RAMBLING 12

If Mulder and Scully had a sixteen-year-old living with them in This said child would’ve ended up in the middle of a gun fight - their home not being safe. If the kid is at school or at a friend’s house to explain the absence, mom or dad would have to call/send a message so the kid stay safe. However, that could alert the bad guys to the kids present and they might use the kid to draw out the parents in a hostage situation.

RAMBLING 13

FOX the network waiting such a long time to announce a hiatus for The X-Files despite having filmed Conversation on the Fox Lot in January at the TCA.

RAMBLING 14

Gillian announcing that she is not doing anymore season of The X-Files after filming the first five episodes: My Struggle III, This, Plus One, The Lost Art of Forehead Sweat and Ghouli. Her and David’s Conversation on the Fox Lot centring around their age taking a toll on them in action scenes. Making her run, the handcuffs drawing blood. Is it the physicality of The X-Files that makers her reluctant to continue? The most physically taxing episode for her was This, sliding under a table, running, fighting and running in handcuffs. They also spend more time on camera when doing The X-Files than their other projects. I guess that is what happens when you’re not doing a traditional ensemble show.

RAMBLING 15

Emily - The doctor trying to confer fatherhood on Mulder but Scully denying it while claiming motherhood.

RAMBLING 16

The debunking of regression hypnosis. Malleability of memories. Convincing people they killed someone through memory manipulation experiment

RAMBLING 17

The ridiculing of men, the pedestalizing of women 

Personal preference of actor guiding the writing, humiliating David. Also present in fanfic, writers taking their frustations of David leaving the show out on Mulder. Interestingly such a practice has never been done against Gillian. No matter how angry people get with her they never punish Scully.

Penalising of male actors, sunflower seeds, hanging off buildings 

Men deserve to be punished, evil = men, male

RAMBLING 18

Infantilising Mulder, making him a flat farther, even as a joke

Difference between not doing something because of time prioritising and inability to complete a task due to executive function disabilities, never learning how to do it = not equating with incompetence, stupidity

Ignoring Scully’s issues, disturbing tendencies in discussions other than to defend Iolocus.

RAMBLING 19

Writing about the separation, which isn’t necessary and only TV show related, as a failure of one person = read male 

RAMBLING 20

Blaming Mulder for MSR not happening sooner, ignoring Scully not being ready or willing to date him before all things, dedicated relationship.

Complaining and ridiculing Mulder’s need for Scully’s consent while complaining about men’s inability to ask for consent, their ignoring consent when it’s not given, and assuming that they always have consent.

Ignoring that Mulder has to make every move, and complaining when that doesn’t happen quickly enough.

Inability to understand that men can be scared of being in a relationship for the same reasons as women, and not dismiss it as commitment issues.

RAMBLING 21

The double standards in the fandom, anything is okay as long as the writer is a woman, see people complaining about scenes in episodes written by women and blaming it on Chris Carter, not remembering who wrote it or being allowed to do anything in fanfics without being criticised.

Defending Mulder torture fanfics while calling Chris a misogynist for anything horrible that happens to Scully. Ignoring any pain dealt to men. Making Scully the only victim. Minimising Mulder being hospitalised more than Scully, kidnapped and endangered more, while insisting that Scully is always portrayed by Chris as a damsel in distress. Equality can’t happen when we can’t hurt both main characters.

Perpetuating the stereotype that women’s violence against men is funny and or acceptable.

Assault is assault even when it happens to a man and even when the assaulter is a woman. Anything you would call assault if it happens to Scully is assault when it happens to Mulder.

RAMBLING 22

That feeling when you realise James Wong cast Jackson (William) for season 11 after writing Mulder/Scully’s dreams about him in season 10 and the kids looking nothing alike.

RAMBLING 23

After thinking about it I don’t believe that David Duchovny’s Mulder has PTSD after his abduction episode would’ve been so happily received. Even now when people write about Mulder and Scully post his abduction it is always with the implication that he is in the wrong. That he should “man up” for Scully and the baby’s sake. An episode written by David would most likely have been much more sympathetic to Mulder, and quite possibly have been quite Mulder-centric. Justifying his need to find balance before taking on the role as a father, which is something he has to assume rather than know.

RAMBLING

Where does the idea that Mulder is not kind or attentive so that Scully would be surprised if he shows kindness coming from?

RAMBLING 24

Related Rambling, but I’m still waiting for that answer.

Paternity of William being an issue due to the implication of lack of consent. Would you be okay if Mulder wasn’t William’s biological father because Scully slept with another man while dating Mulder, tried IVF with someone different - someone else that she knew or an anonymous donor? Which method is preferred? What is more important Mulder being Jackson’s biological father or his creation being consensual?

Let’s stop pretending. Make William’s Scully’s alone and Glen Morgan and James Wong can finally write what they want to, the Scully panel won’t be pissed that Mulder got one line about their son in Familiar, and all the pain and all the feelings can be hers alone, like they already are.