ricardoosnaya

[emily-mooon]

You know when I hear people say they want more messy relationships in ST, I’m tempted to point my finger to the corner where Stonathan sits.

[imaginebeauty]

Second Chances // Part 19

Second Chances Masterlist

Masterlist

Words: 1356 Pairings: Bellamy x Reader, Reader x OC Grounder, Reader x Kane Warnings: ANGST VIOLENCE SAD Episode: 3x05 Hakeldama

        “They were here to protect us!” You cried, running up to Pike, shoving him in the chest. Tears streamed down your face in anger and frustration and in pain. “They weren’t sent to hurt us!”

        You shoved him and shoved him, but the Chancellor did nothing back to you except stare at you blankly.

        Your cargo pants were drenched in the blood of the dead who were slaughtered on the field. Your hands were colored red as the sticky liquid dried against your skin.

        “You are a murderer! Your buddies are murderers! Your followers are murderers! They were good! They were good!” You screamed. “He was good..” You whispered, looking Pike directly in the eyes as those words escaped your mouth. “He was going to take me to see the ocean..” You cried, voice breaking. “I loved him!” You declared, the hurt returning to rage.

        You turned to face away from him. You tried wiping away your tears but it was no use as more kept falling. Then in one swift motion, you spun around, swinging your fist through the air until it collided with Pike’s cheek.

        There was a pause as everyone outside stopped to watch. Pike looked at you in shock, but you looked at him in fury. 

        You swung your fist again and again. He blocked a couple of your swings, but not all. You shoved him and punched him. He flung his fist at you, hitting your mouth in an attempt to get you off of him. You beat him until his face was bloody, or at least until his buddies pulled you away.

        “Let go of me! Let go!” You demanded, shaking them off of you. They let go of you and you stormed off, not noticing your bloody lip, and not really caring. 

        You turned when you felt a tug on your arm. You were met by a familiar face that once upon a time sent a wave of comfort and a sense of home throughout you, but now it made you feel disgusted and hurt. 

        “Y/N, your lip..” Bellamy mumbled, trying to find words to say to you after the massacre he helped commit against your boyfriend, against you. He rubbed his thumb against your bleeding lip softly.

        “Don’t touch me,” You growled, shoving his hand away. “You’re no better than he is,” You stated gesturing to Pike. 

        “Y/N..” He started but stopped when no words came out. 

        “I hate you, Blake,” You stated, spitting his name as if it was dirt in your mouth.

        With that, you spun and marched away from him. You could feel his eyes on your back so you started a slow jog to get out of his view sooner.

        As soon as you reached your small cabin that had just a bed a couple boxes of your clothes, you broke down. All the anger had disappeared, leaving you with just the hurt and pain that followed. You slid down the door and cried into your hands.

        You looked up from your hands, and your eyes caught something you hadn’t seen in what felt like forever.

        A little book sat beneath your bed. You crawled over and grabbed the book, running your hand over the old leather cover. You opened it, greeted by the familiar elegant handwriting that held stories of a time you would never get to see. 

        “James..” You whispered the name of the owner of the book, the book that used to be your comfort after losing your father on the ark. The book that used to breath life into you as you slowly rotted in your cell. If James could help you then, maybe he could help you know.

        You flipped to the first journal entry.

 May 3, 1954

Debra invited me to her birthday party. I didn’t want to go, but I did. She said it would be fun, but it wasn’t.

May 28, 1954

Debra introduced me to one of her girl friends. She always went on about how lonely I was and how if I just found myself a girl I would be happier. She introduced me to a doll named Nancy. I wasn’t expecting much, with a name like Nancy, but man. When I laid eyes on her, I swear it was as if she was an angel on earth. Stars would cry as they were jealous of her beauty. Today was the best day of my life and I hope to spend more with her.

July 11, 1961

Nancy and I went to the beach today. She was gorgeous. She tucked her dark, ebony hair into her sun hat as we strode along the beach. She watched as the waves crashed against the sand. She liked to comment on how beautiful it was with no people around. All I could think about was how beautiful she was. No ocean could compare to her beauty as hers reached depths the ocean could only dream of.

December 6, 1964

Today I proposed to Nancy. We were walking down the beach, and we stopped in our usual spot to watch the sun disappear behind the waves. I don’t know what came over me, just seeing her there I couldn’t help myself. She was perfect, and I didn’t want to spend any longer without her being my wife. I got down on one knee and I asked her and she said yes. She said yes.

December 6, 1965

We got married the same day I proposed, just a year later. We got married in our neighborhood church. We invited all of our family and they sat on their respective sides. When she started walking down the aisle in her pearl white dress, I couldn’t help but cry. It was one of the best days of my life and I’ve never felt more blessed.

January 19, 1977

I never thought my life would crumble thanks to a single telephone call. It was the deputy at the sheriff's department, calling to inform me that Nancy had passed away in a tragic automobile accident. Losing her, it's the worst kind of pain I’ve ever known. I would trade all my tomorrows for a single yesterday, just to see her one more time.

January 19, 1979

It’s been 2 years, and she is still here with me. Even though I cannot see her, I can always feel her. She has taught me so much. I think no one is actually dead until the ripples they caused in the world die away. She is in God’s kingdom now, though. She is safe, and she is home. Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.

          Tears rolled down your cheeks gradually at his words. You felt some comfort in his words as you found yourself grateful to have loved someone in such a way that James had loved Nancy. Some tear drops fell on the last entry you read, accidentally smudging some of the writing. 

        You set the book beside you as you stared blankly at the wall. You didn’t move for hours, though the tears never stopped. It was as if all you could do was cry. 

        Your head turned when your cabin door opened slowly. Kane hesitantly entered, taking a seat beside you on the mattress you called a bed. He wrapped his arms around you in a comforting embrace.

        “I know you loved him,” Kane said, making you howl in pain as tears fell from your eyes like a waterfall. 

        “I-I loved him.. I loved him so much..” You croaked, bury your face into Kane’s shoulder.

        He let you sob into his shoulder for a little while before continuing. “Y/N.. I know it might not seem like it, but just like you have loved before, you will love again,” He whispered, kissing the top of your head gently.

        Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.

Tagging:

@otaku-fangirlse @random-fandom-lady @blue-berry-barry-allen @krystyna-exe @in-my-dreams-200  @youtubehelpsmesurvive @damagedbrokenbuthappy @famchester      @s-wood @mayasmedberg @two-worlds-collab @got17kookiesss @leenasleena-blog @okaybellarke @pinkleopardss @im-socialy-awkward-no-joke @okaybellarke @divisionlunar @ana-hic @unprofessional-inhumanbeing @sassyloop @sarcasticvodka @divisionlunar @thenovarose

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #47

“and our scars remind us that the past is real.”

which dinosaur is your favorite? spinosaurous! have you ever been fishing? i live in north carolina. guess, lol. have you ever broken the law? if yes, what did you do? yeah, like illegal downloading and drinking underage. what is your favorite candy to receive in your trick-or-treat bag? reese's! would you ever play with a ouija board? no. idk if i believe in ouija boards, but i do enough to not fuck with them. what is your favorite foreign cuisine? italian, i guess. have you ever wondered if deep down you’re evil? i have. considering there's one person whom i'd kill if i didn't have the guilt factor, i've wondered it. i know without a doubt i'd beat the shit out of her if i saw her, and that should say enough about me. ugh. i just lose all self-control when i merely THINK about her. who do you still need closure from? jason how did you find out what sex was? how did you think it worked before? i actually learned in the 5th grade from sex ed. before that, i had no theories, i didn't know it was a thing. when did you last see an attractive member of your preferred sex? did you speak to them? do you think you’ll see them again? i saw this SUPER cute guy on christianmingle, but i didn't talk to him (you can't talk to people on there 'less you have a subscription, which i don't have yet). who knows if i ever will. what exactly did you eat for your last meal? have you any idea what you’ll be eating your next meal? i had honey nut cheerios. my next meal will be at 12:00, but because we have no bread, i'll probably just like have a cookie. we barely have anything right now. have you ever tasted baby food? how about pet food? no. pet food, i did have a guinea pig treat once lol. if you found out that your ex was having a child with someone else, how would you feel about that? fucking NO find 5 people on your facebook friends list, whose name begins with k. who are these people, and how did you meet them? kelly: met in art class in high school. she is now a mother to a daughter named jasey. katherine: we met via youtube, i think? she just lost her dad. :( katelynn: jacob's ex. very sweet lady. kathleen: high school friend. she moved away after school. kenesa: my hair stylist. if you wear glasses, are they dirty right now? eh, kinda. are you good at wrapping presents? nope. do you put your hair up when you cook? i don't really cook, but i never have in the cases where i have. do you prefer mountain dew or sprite? mountain dew. i don't like sprite. funny how it was my fave soda as a kid. what is your favorite unisex name? hm, not sure. have you ever deleted anyone from your facebook friends list? if so, why? yes, either because we don't talk, i have no interest in keeping up with you anymore, or you've done something to piss me off. time for a random question about the person you love/like. what’s his/her favorite food? probably pizza, but i'm not sure, actually. do you regret any of your past relationships? no. what is your best friend’s middle name? colleen. she goes by her middle name. have you ever liked someone that your friends didn’t like, or considered to be unattractive? if your friends have an opinion on someone you like, or are in a relationship with, do you take that into account? juan didn't like jason because jason once dated rachel, whom juan liked. i'm pretty sure one of my friends called jason weird-looking before, too?? and no, i don't care what my friends think of those i like much, honestly. it's my business, no theirs. do you plan on having children in the future? i think so, yeah. at the same time though, i'm VERY scared of having another life to watch after besides my own. i can barely take care of myself, for heaven's sake. i don't want a child if i can't appropriately take care of them. do you believe that the world will actually end? it's biblical, yes. if you could choose to be any mythical character, which would you choose? dragon!! what is your favorite animal and why? meerkats!! they're the second-most social animal in the world and would give their lives for their families. do you find yourself on youtube a lot? i always have it open. are you satisfied with your gender? yep. do you know any strippers? not to my knowledge. would it intimidate you if your crush was smarter than you? maybe a slight bit, maybe. who’s the biggest whore you know? rachel what do you want to get for your first tattoo? if you already have tattoos, what was your first one? my first tattoo was a butterfly with a semi-colon body. it represents the butterfly and semicolon projects. ever had a feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? yep. i "knew" jason was going to break up with me like less than a week before he did. when was the last time you cried? last night. when was the last time you walked more than five miles? how come you did it? holy shit dude, i couldn't tell ya. what was the last flavor of ice-cream you had? french vanilla have you ever gone to any ridiculous extremes to lose (or gain) weight? i haven't, but i'm like five seconds from starving myself to lose weight. have you ever witnessed a birth? only by animals. do you think age matters in relationships? yes. as a general rule, an adult should not be with a minor. i personally draw the line for adults around a 10-year age difference. you should just... be in similar stages of your life, y'know? do you ever actually drink milk alone? yeah, milk is my go-to drink. have you ever been in your kitchen naked? no. the kitchen is at the other end of the house, and i'm very uncomfortable naked. do you like the smell of coconuts? eh... i'm neutral. can you play pool? yeah. we used to have one of those leveled gaming things where you could change the top of the thing to create a different game, ex. air hockey to pool. do you think that christians (and other religions) can believe in evolution? i mean... i guess?? but as a christian, it wouldn't make much sense. do you wear socks to sleep?   hell no, that's just uncomfortable. have you ever kissed just a friend?  no, and i wouldn't do that, because i wouldn't lead someone on like that?? would you rather own a snake or a rabbit? snake ugh i want one so badly!!!! what does your town's name begin with? n are you a seafood fan? not generally do you like pickles?  hell yeah! do you have a class ring?  no... i wanted one, tho. we just didn't have the money. do you prefer gold or silver jewelry? gold. i can't wear silver, i'm allergic. have you ever shaved your arms? nope. what about your stomach? i shave the dark hairs were you a nancy drew reader when you were younger? nah. would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex? of course i would. sex is just such a minute part of relationships. what's the last piercing you got?   hmmm.  i think my anti-tragus. have you seen your best friends naked?   just about.  she is totally not self-conscious about doing whatever in public; i mean consider it.  the woman's had surgery on her breast, had a surgery for endometriosis, she's married, her sister like barges in on her when she takes a shower.  i WISH i was like that.  there was one time she needed me to zipper clothes for her, so we were in the dressing room together.  i have so much respect for her. what's the last wedding you've been to?   i was the fat bridesmaid for ashley and nick. do you wear colored contacts?   i wish. one word to describe the last person you kissed?   perfect. are you counting down for anything?   my birthday!! does your hair have layers?  yeah.  ugh they gotta be trimmed. does anyone call you babe or baby?  on the VERY rare occasion juan and i talk, he calls me that sometimes. do you have or want your bellybutton pierced?   i WANT it pierced, but only after i lose weight.  i don't think plus-sized people look good with it pierced, honestly. how skilled are you at photoshop?  not at all.
 how well can you handle vulgar things (i.e. gore, disturbing images, etc)?
   general gore, no problem.  that's an aesthetic of mine.  disturbing images, like, say, a bone jutting out of someone's arm, fuck that. what part of your body would you like to change?   number one thing?  i want my stomach to be smaller. has anyone ever tried to ruin your relationship?  yeah, rachel.  too bad i ruined it myself, bitch. fess up, who was the last person you thought about kissing?   ugh.  jason. ever sang to the person you liked?   no.  after three and half years, i was too shy to sing in front of him, except for ONCE at church. are there some songs you can't listen to because they remind you of someone?   yes.  "stairway to heaven," "all or nothing," "easy to love you," and i'm on the verge with "have faith in me."  i have a hard time listening to ANY bvb or motionless in white, but i do anyway. do you believe that there's good in everybody?   nope. do you still speak to any of your classmates from elementary school?   ummm i don't think so. what if you/the last person you were seeing found out you/they were pregnant tomorrow?   i'd be impossible because it's been over a year since i've seen him? if you knew you couldn't get caught, would you rob a bank?   no.  couldn't live with the guilt. if you could discover one medical cure, what would it be for?   alzheimer's have you ever dated someone in the military?  no, and i honestly don't think i would unless i just so happened to really like him.  i could NOT live happily and contentedly knowing my boyfriend/spouse was always on the verge of being killed. what are you listening to?   "scars" by papa roach.  lol i'm having an emo streak. do you like to go out in the rain?   NO.  i hate being wet. do you think you'll ACTUALLY live a happy life with somebody?   lmao no.  this is why i cried last night. how many people have the ability to hurt you emotionally?   literally everybody. have you ever kissed someone who smokes?  nope, and i never will. do you have any brothers?  a half-brother. who did you go to the movies with last?  colleen and chelsea (: would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollars?   no, because i don't fancy prison. have you changed this year?   i'm more of a calloused bitch. have you ever been in a real moshpit?   nope.  i know it's a big part of metal culture, but i don't think i ever will.  i just... i'd get so scared being pushed and stuff. taco bell or olive garden?  og.  no competition. has your best friend ever seen you naked?   no.  way too shy to let that happen. how old do you think you will be when you finally have kids?  late 20s have you ever snuggled with someone you weren't dating?  no. would you prefer a baby boy or girl?  a beautiful little girl named alessandra quinn. are looks in a boy/girl important?   you know what, i don't entirely know anymore.  so if you read my last survey, you know i joined christian mingle a few days back.  well, thinking about it, i didn't really look into people's pages that weren't at least what i call "neutrally attractive," which is like, not really attractive, but not unattractive.  maybe i was wrong to say all these years that they don't matter.  but then again, if i befriended an unattractive guy irl and developed feelings for him, i wouldn't deny them, so i wouldn't say they're very important. you go home with a hickey, what does your mother say?   i'm 20, she can't really say much, but i'm sure she'd be a bit concerned.  i'm not in a relationship, so to randomly have a hickey?  yeah, she wouldn't like it. do your parents know EVERYTHING about you?  mom thinks she does, but sorry to inform her that she doesn't. would you consider painting your bedroom purple?  hm.  dark purple, i suppose. do your parents approve of the music you listen to?  most of it.  some of the heavier stuff or things that sing about highly negative things, notably arch enemy and otep, mom doesn't like, but of course lets me listen to it. do you keep in touch with your cousins?   no. have you ever had a best friend that moved away?  she wasn't really a BEST friend, but she meant a lot to me. do you wish you had an older, protective brother?  i guess not.  after all, when i imagine said figure, i can't imagine he'd let jason have slept with me.  i'd'a pitched a fit. name some things you would never tolerate in a relationship?   any kind of abuse.  any illicit drug use.  smoking.  obsessive drinking.  i know there's more, but i'm not gonna dwell on this question forever 'til i remember. is it easy for you to accept loss?   HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH- what's in your underwear drawer?  underwear, bras, bathing suit, fingerless gloves kiss with eyes open or closed?  who on earth kisses with their eyes open?  freaky.