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#the fact that they didn’t put this on cleo or nefera…
dollsinvogue · 15 days
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Monster High Clawdia Wolf dress » Hervé Léger bandage wrap dress
Credit to @carleym19618673 for finding this!
They also pointed out that this dress was worn by Nadine Coyle from Girls Aloud (an English girl band) on the Graham Norton show, and it makes sense that Clawdia would be inspired by UK celebrities as she is studying in Londoom.
Clawdia picture credit
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mhdiaries · 4 years
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Journal of Clawd Wolf
If you can’t be honorable then be smart and keep your snout out of my journal.
September the 18th
I don’t think I’ve ever been hit in a game as hard as I got hit last night and oh monster was I sore this morning. We won the game which makes the pain a little more bearable. The worst part was I saw the hit coming and had to stand there and take it. The play was 13 Weak Bootleg Goblin - I made a perfect fake and rolled right which fooled everybody on the defense except the ogre playing outside linebacker who hit me as soon as the pass left my hand. Not only did he hit me, he drove me into the turf and landed on top of me. The only thing worse than the hit was the ogre stink that came with it. When I say stink I mean he smelled like the inside of a rubber boot filed with stinky cheese and raw fish that had been left in the trunk of a black car during the hottest week of summer. I’m sure I probably notice it more being a werewolf because of my enhanced sense of smell but I honestly think ogres must turn up their scent glands for games. I couldn’t even see how the play turned out because he’s laying on top of me yelling “How’d you like that wolf boy?” Then I hear the crowd going crazy and I just said, “Scoreboard.” Funny how the pain goes away, at least momentarily, when you complete a big play. Of course on the field you never want to let another monster know they hurt you... just like real life.
September the 21st
Rockseena chewed up a pair of Clawdeen’s shoes. Clawdeen accused Howleen, in Clawdeen’s defense it did kind of look like Howleen’s work, and I had to break up the fight and fork over some cash so Clawdeen could replace them. There goes my money for the month. Why are girl’s shoes so howling expensive?
October the 1st
I went to the furmatologist to see if he could do something about my shedding problem, which seems to be getting worse lately. It’s so screeching embarrassing I don’t even want to wear short sleeve shirts any more. Of course being a werewolf means it grows back as fast as it falls out so I’ve got an endless supply. I’m like a hairy snow globe. Anyway, I wish I could say that I walked away with a solution, cream, pill or heroic quest that would allow me to finally leave the house without a lint brush but that didn’t happen. The doctor said that some werewolves are genetically afflicted with this and that there is no cure. He gave me some ideas on how to manage the condition and a pamphlet about a support group. I was like, “A support group?” Come on monster, give me a break. The last thing i want to do is spend an evening hanging out in some back room at a community center listening to other werewolves howl about fur loss. I’ve just got to monster up and deal with it. What i wouldn’t give to switch problems with Clawdeen.
October the 7th
Somebody at Monster High is trying to reopen old tombs regarding Cleo’s past relationship with me and by “some body” I mean Spectra Vondergeist. I probably should have ignored it but I didn’t. I found her and told her to knock it off since she didn’t know what she was talking about, she called me a dumb jock, I called her a lying phantom and she wailed a path across the school pretesting her innocence and demanding an apology. We both ended up in the Headmistress’s office where I was lectured about the “responsibility of being an example to younger monsters who look up to me.” She told Spectra to stop involving the whole school whenever she has a problem and that almost caused her to go off again but she managed to keep it together.  I know every monster wants to know what happened but it’s really none of their business.
October the 12th
HH Bloodgood has decided that every monster in school has to write an essay on our haunted heritage. She wants to put them all in a big book and pass it out to the students at the end of the year. In her words this will “better help you to understand yourselves and your fellow monsters.” I’m not so sure about the “understand yourselves” part but it might be interesting to read about my “fellow monsters.” I need to ask dad and mom how much information I’m allowed to give since there are some things we don’t talk about outside the pack. Our history is written in the Valde Lupus Libri and even within the book there are sections I’m not allowed to read until I have a pack of my own. One of those sections tells what happened to cause the bad blood between werewolves and vampires. I asked dad about it one time and he just gave me “the look” so I let it go. I can probably write about the things every monster already knows; like how during the full moon our senses get sharper while our strength and speed doubles or how we’re allergic to sive and wolf’s bane. We’re not undead so we don’t live forever, but 400+ years isn’t just a drop in the coffin either. I guess I could also put down where we’re from and how our original alpha became a werewolf but I definitely need to get permission before giving out that kind of info.
October the 18th
The stink from my confrontation with Spectra continues to linger and today I had to stop Clawdeen from going after Cleo because Clawdeen still thinks Cleo dumped me for Deuce and broke my heart. That’s not how it happened so I told Clawdeen the real story. When Cleo and I first started going out I had just been voted captain of the football team and Cleo had taken over her sister Nefera’s spot as captain of the fear squad. I was the BMOC - Big Monster on Campus and she was Her Royal Hawtness. It was like living the perfect nightmare. Even then I think we were enjoying the attention more than the relationship. We were friends, still are in fact, but the spark just wasn’t there. There was a spark between her and Deuce though. You couldn’t help but see it when they were around each other. I confess I was a little jealous but I soon got over that as our perfect nightmare suddenly came to an end. My wake up call came in the form of a season where we lost every game but one and I completed more passes to the other team than I did to my own. For Cleo, it was thinking she could just pick up her sister’s pom poms and not miss a fear except she was so bossy half the team quit and the half that stayed just did their own thing. We probably would have broken up then but the thought of adding any more drama to what was already going on was too much to think about. So we stayed together and kind of leaned on each other through it all. Eventually I started to make better decisions on the field and Cleo learned that leadership involved more than barking orders. So on the night before the last game of the year we decided to break up. Cleo told me that she knew Deuce wanted to ask her out but didn’t dare because she was still dating me and that she wouldn’t say yes for the same reason. That was that, except Cleo wanted to be able to tell everyone she broke it off because she didn’t want anyone thinking that the captain of the fear squad got dumped. I told her I wouldn’t lie about what happened but I wouldn’t say anything to contradict it either. Looking back I think it was dumb on her part to care so much about social status and it was equally dumb on my part to be “heroic” about it. When I finished, Clawdeen called me a monster jerk, punched me in the arm and then gave me a hug. Girls are so weird.
October the 25th
I’ve got a pretty big test in Biteology coming soon and since it’s impossible to find a quiet spot in our house I went to the library to study. I finished up there and just as I was leaving a storm blew in and it started raining. The temperature came down with the rain and by the time I got to my car I could already see my breath. On the way home my sweet fang started to howl so I stopped at this coffee place and grabbed a large coffinccino with whip cream cause, you know, that’s what I like. I got about a half mile down the road when I couldn’t find my iCoffin so I pulled over to see if it had fallen in between the seats. As I was looking for it I happened to glance across the street and saw this freaky cute monster standing on the sidewalk. It was raining pretty hard by then and I couldn’t quite make out her face. I rolled down the window just as the wind changed direction and for a brief moment I caught the scent of nightshade and lilac shampoo. Draculaura? I got out and yelled her name. She looked up and I said to myself, “Oh monster, what’s she doing out in this weather without a coat or umbrella?” Good thing dad always keeps one of his “eventuality” kits in his car with everything a monster might need in an emergency, including one of those compact umbrellas. I grabbed it and ran across the street where Draculaura was standing. Ordinarily I would have cracked some kind of joke but she looked so miserable I just opened the umbrella and helped her back to the car. Once we got in I handed her the coffinccino and turned up the heater. We sat there for a moment with the car running and I asked her if she wanted me to take her home. She nodded and I drove her back to her house. They don’t have a covered drive so I walked her up to the door and made sure she got in. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and darted inside before I could say anything which is a good thing because it felt like I’d been hit by that ogre again only all I could smell this time was nightshade and lilacs. After I got home mom asked me where I’d been. When I told her the library she just looked at me and said, “If you say so.” I thought that was weird until I caught my reflection in the hall mirror and saw a perfect imprint of lips in Draculaura red.
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mhdiaries · 4 years
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Wave 3 Toralei Stripe Diary
July. Two. Five.
Ooh they’re telling math jokes now...
Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi!
The math geeks I’m stuck on this bus with think that this is funny. So funny in fact, that the harpy sitting in front of me shoots milk out of her nose when she hears the punch line. I don’t think it’s funny at all. I’d rather be listening to the music I have stored on my iCoffin but two hours into our five-hour ride home my iCoffin gave up the ghost. It should have lasted the whole trip and then some except that one of my math camp roomies “accidentally” unplugged my iCoffin charger last night when she plugged in her fright light. I don’t even know why a ghost needs a fright light. What? Was she afraid she would trip over something and go “bump in the night?” I realized what happened when we woke up this morning but we had to leave first thing so I didn’t have time to put a full charge on it. At least I got enough battery life to block out the two hours dedicated to the singing of “X Number Bottles of Ghoul Juice on the Wall.” To add to the misery the seats on this bus only have room for two monsters and Meowlody and Purrsephone are of course sitting together which left me stuck in a seat next to a troll named Teala who had never been away from her bridge for more than a day until she came to math camp.She cried herself to sleep every night. Not that any other monster but me noticed but then again I notice everything. I also noticed Teala wasn’t laughing at any of the math jokes either. In fact she seemed to be more miserable than I was. Well now, here I was thinking she was missing her bridge but if that were the case why didn’t she seem excited about going home? “Dish,” I said. She turned and looked at me for a moment and then stared back ahead. “Okay - suit yourself then,” I said and then tried to curl up in the seat to take a cat nap which I had almost accomplished when she said; “My boy-fiend broke up with me...by text...the first night of math camp.” She still wasn’t looking at me but she wasn’t crying either. “He was my first real boyfriend and...and I don’t know why I’m telling you ‘cause you don’t seem to care about any monster besides yourself and you’ll probably figure out a way to use this to make me even more miserable.” I didn’t show it, but that really hurt. Just because I enjoy the chaos that a good practical joke brings doesn’t mean that I’m intentionally cruel does it? I don’t think it does and besides; where’s the fun of kicking some monster when they’re already down? It’s a lot more fun to see the surprise on a monster’s face when they think they’ve got it all together and you can “help them” see that they don’t. So I said, “Guess you better tell me the whole story then so I can do a thorough job.” That actually brought a ghost of a smile to her face. Teala told me that her ex boy-fiend was applying to colleges and that he decided he needed to keep his “options open” in case he might meet his “intellectual equal” at school. At first I didn’t believe he actually wrote that and then she showed me the text. “Does he really think he’s that smart,” I asked. She kind of shrugged and said, “He’s scary smart but not as good at math as I am, especially withy differential equations.” She told me he really wanted to get into this one school because his favorite mad scientist taught there. I’d never heard of the school but I knew who the mad scientist was because Mr. Hack made use watch a bunch of his videos in class. The videos were deadly boring but the mad scientist had this odd accent and strange speech pattern. I used to mimic his voice in class to make Mr. Hack jump. I’d wait until Mr. Hack’s back was turned and then scream, “Huhhacckkk - theeese stuuudannts reeelease youuu wuh-ill ah-yuat wa-unce!” It cost me several days in detention and a trip to Headless Headmistress Bloodgood’s office the last time I mimicked the mad scientist but even Mr. Hack admitted he couldn’t tell the difference between the scientist’s voice and my imitation of it. We talked about a few more things and then Teala finally fell asleep. I was able to finally fall asleep as well but not before having to hear another math joke followed by an explosion of milk from the seat in front of me.
July. Two. Eight.
I went to MH today to pick up some pictures I left in the FearBook office. When I was done I went up to the belfry. It’s a good place to keep an eye on things without other eyes watching you. It’s also a good place to take a nap. Usually the hunchback who rings the bells...the bells...works up there but he was on summer vacation in France or somewhere so I had the place to myself; until Spectra came floating through that is. She thinks that she’s very stealthy but it’s almost impossible to sneak up on me and I heard the rattle of her chains long before she actually appeared. I pretended to be asleep for a moment then with my eyes still closed I said, “What do you want Spectra?” “Oh, hello Toralei. Did you hear the news?” Most monsters don’t trust anything they hear from Spectra. I know better. There’s always an element of truth in her “news”. You just need to know how to listen. Here’s an example; Spectra told me she heard that Nefera is moving back to town and will be taking over for Ms. Kindergruber in Home Ick. Not only that but Ms. Kindergruber is also going to quit teaching to become a roadie for her favorite rock and roll band. Now as much fun as it is to imagine Ms. K. climbing stacks of amps while wearing a sleeveless leather vest, bandana and steel toed boots it’s not going to happen. Although when compared to the thought of Nefera actually “lowering herself” to teach, it’s practically a done deal Ms K will be hitting the road. I’m pretty sure out of that confusing jumble of information the one true fact is that Nefera is moving back to town and probably sooner rather than later...now there’s a monster who enjoys kicking some body when it’s down.
July. Three. Zero.
Got an email today from Teala, the troll girl I sat with on the ride home from math camp. Apparently her ex boy-fiend told her that he got a call from the mad scientist he wanted to study under. The scientist told her ex that his test scores indicated a “skuhh-ill weeeakness in diffuhh-wrenntial eeeequay-shunns” and that her ex should find some monster that was intellectually superior and “geeet sah-ummm tuutorr-ing”. Her ex was certain it was the professor since “no monster could fake that voice.” He also apologized to Teala for being an arrogant jerk and asked if she would tutor him in differential equations. Teala told him that she would have to check her schedule. Sometimes it is just purrrecious the way things work out for the beast.
August. One. Three.
I bought a ball of dragon thread today for Sweet Fangs. It’s just about the only material that’s strong enough to survive more than one play session with her. I don’t know what I’m going to do when Sweet Fangs gets bigger because I’m probably going to need the whole dragon and I’m not sure mom and dad are gong to be good with that.
August. Two. Five.
M&P came over today. They’re like my sisters and I can’t imagine how boring unlife would be without them. We do just about everything together and some monsters even think we’re related but we’re not. Not that it matters since we don’t really care what other monsters think anyway. We are who we are and any monster or monsters that want to try and herd us better get ready for a long miserable day. Today we weren’t worried about being herded, today was a brainstorm session. Our mission, repay Cleo de Nile and her minions for not only ruining our perfectly planned graduation prank but also for taking away part of our valuable summer vacation by “arranging” our trip to math camp. Knowing that it was Cleo who got the better of us is almost as irritating as being wet or having my fur stroked the wrong way. I can’t believe that I actually helped her when she first wanted to be a part of the Fear Squad. Cleo didn’t even know how to do a cartwheel, much less a round off. So I took her under my claw and taught her everything I knew and since I’d been doing gymnastics from the time I was a kitten I knew a lot. I finally got Cleo to the point where she started to “get it” and instead of being a liability she started contributing. I figured that for all my hard work and leadership Nefera would make me the Fear Squad captain when she graduated. Only she didn’t - she passed it onto Cleo. I can still remember what Nefera said to me when I confronted her about it. “I didn’t want Cleo to succeed - I wanted her to be humiliated but since you helped her, you get to deal with the consequences.” Then Cleo acted as if she deserved to be the captain and that she automatically knew everything there was to know about leading the Fear Squad. She should have showed some humility and stepped aside. She didn’t so now it’s up to me to teach her some new lessons and I can’t wait for class to be back in session.  
August. Three. One.
There’s a meteor shower tonight, which will give us the purrrfect opportunity to practice the three D’s. Divert. Design. Demure. First I divert attention away from myself - although tonight the meteor shower should do that for me, next I design a “surprise” for my intended victim student and then after the unexpected happens I demure - “Oh my, what happened here?” More later...
Ended up scraping the three D’s tonight, mostly because the meteor shower diverted me. I was supposed to meet M&P at this coffee shop down close to the beach - it’s the only time I go to the beach since sand + water + fur = unhappy werecat - but they were late so I grabbed a catnipuccino and waited. The owner turned down the lights of the shop so it was almost dark and then the sky was falling. The ghouls showed up just as somewhere down the beach a monster started playing guitar and I said, “Just because we’ve got nine lives doesn’t mean we need to rush through this one.” And we didn’t. 
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mhdiaries · 4 years
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Wave 2 Clawd Wolf Journal
September the 18th 
I don’t think I’ve ever been hit in a game as hard as I got hit last night and oh monster was I sore this morning. We won the game which makes the pain a little more bearable. The worst part was I saw the hit coming and had to stand there and take it. The play was 13 Weak Bootleg Goblin - I made a perfect fake and rolled right which fooled everybody on the defense except the ogre playing outside linebacker who hit me as soon as the pass left my hand. Not only did he hit me, he drove me into the turf and landed on top of me. The only thing worse than the hit was the ogre stink that came with it. When I say stink I mean he smelled like the inside of a rubber boot filed with stinky cheese and raw fish that had been left in the trunk of a black car during the hottest week of summer. I’m sure I probably notice it more being a werewolf because of my enhanced sense of smell but I honestly think ogres must turn up their scent glands for games. I couldn’t even see how the play turned out because he’s laying on top of me yelling “How’d you like that wolf boy?” Then I hear the crowd going crazy and I just said, “Scoreboard.” Funny how the pain goes away, at least momentarily, when you complete a big play. Of course on the field you never want to let another monster know they hurt you... just like real life.
September the 21st
Rockseena chewed up a pair of Clawdeen’s shoes. Clawdeen accused Howleen, in Clawdeen’s defense it did kind of look like Howleen’s work, and I had to break up the fight and fork over some cash so Clawdeen could replace them. There goes my money for the month. Why are girl’s shoes so howling expensive?
October the 1st
I went to the furmatologist to see if he could do something about my shedding problem, which seems to be getting worse lately. It’s so screeching embarrassing I don’t even want to wear short sleeve shirts any more. Of course being a werewolf means it grows back as fast as it falls out so I’ve got an endless supply. I’m like a hairy snow globe. Anyway, I wish I could say that I walked away with a solution, cream, pill or heroic quest that would allow me to finally leave the house without a lint brush but that didn’t happen. The doctor said that some werewolves are genetically afflicted with this and that there is no cure. He gave me some ideas on how to manage the condition and a pamphlet about a support group. I was like, “A support group?” Come on monster, give me a break. The last thing i want to do is spend an evening hanging out in some back room at a community center listening to other werewolves howl about fur loss. I’ve just got to monster up and deal with it. What i wouldn’t give to switch problems with Clawdeen. 
October the 7th
Somebody at Monster High is trying to reopen old tombs regarding Cleo’s past relationship with me and by “some body” I mean Spectra Vondergeist. I probably should have ignored it but I didn’t. I found her and told her to knock it off since she didn’t know what she was talking about, she called me a dumb jock, I called her a lying phantom and she wailed a path across the school pretesting her innocence and demanding an apology. We both ended up in the Headmistress’s office where I was lectured about the “responsibility of being an example to younger monsters who look up to me.” She told Spectra to stop involving the whole school whenever she has a problem and that almost caused her to go off again but she managed to keep it together.  I know every monster wants to know what happened but it’s really none of their business.
October the 12th
HH Bloodgood has decided that every monster in school has to write an essay on our haunted heritage. She wants to put them all in a big book and pass it out to the students at the end of the year. In her words this will “better help you to understand yourselves and your fellow monsters.” I’m not so sure about the “understand yourselves” part but it might be interesting to read about my “fellow monsters.” I need to ask dad and mom how much information I’m allowed to give since there are some things we don’t talk about outside the pack. Our history is written in the Valde Lupus Libri and even within the book there are sections I’m not allowed to read until I have a pack of my own. One of those sections tells what happened to cause the bad blood between werewolves and vampires. I asked dad about it one time and he just gave me “the look” so I let it go. I can probably write about the things every monster already knows; like how during the full moon our senses get sharper while our strength and speed doubles or how we’re allergic to sive and wolf’s bane. We’re not undead so we don’t live forever, but 400+ years isn’t just a drop in the coffin either. I guess I could also put down where we’re from and how our original alpha became a werewolf but I definitely need to get permission before giving out that kind of info. 
October the 18th
The stink from my confrontation with Spectra continues to linger and today I had to stop Clawdeen from going after Cleo because Clawdeen still thinks Cleo dumped me for Deuce and broke my heart. That’s not how it happened so I told Clawdeen the real story. When Cleo and I first started going out I had just been voted captain of the football team and Cleo had taken over her sister Nefera’s spot as captain of the fear squad. I was the BMOC - Big Monster on Campus and she was Her Royal Hawtness. It was like living the perfect nightmare. Even then I think we were enjoying the attention more than the relationship. We were friends, still are in fact, but the spark just wasn’t there. There was a spark between her and Deuce though. You couldn’t help but see it when they were around each other. I confess I was a little jealous but I soon got over that as our perfect nightmare suddenly came to an end. My wake up call came in the form of a season where we lost every game but one and I completed more passes to the other team than I did to my own. For Cleo, it was thinking she could just pick up her sister’s pom poms and not miss a fear except she was so bossy half the team quit and the half that stayed just did their own thing. We probably would have broken up then but the thought of adding any more drama to what was already going on was too much to think about. So we stayed together and kind of leaned on each other through it all. Eventually I started to make better decisions on the field and Cleo learned that leadership involved more than barking orders. So on the night before the last game of the year we decided to break up. Cleo told me that she knew Deuce wanted to ask her out but didn’t dare because she was still dating me and that she wouldn’t say yes for the same reason. That was that, except Cleo wanted to be able to tell everyone she broke it off because she didn’t want anyone thinking that the captain of the fear squad got dumped. I told her I wouldn’t lie about what happened but I wouldn’t say anything to contradict it either. Looking back I think it was dumb on her part to care so much about social status and it was equally dumb on my part to be “heroic” about it. When I finished, Clawdeen called me a monster jerk, punched me in the arm and then gave me a hug. Girls are so weird.
October the 25th
I’ve got a pretty big test in Biteology coming soon and since it’s impossible to find a quiet spot in our house I went to the library to study. I finished up there and just as I was leaving a storm blew in and it started raining. The temperature came down with the rain and by the time I got to my car I could already see my breath. On the way home my sweet fang started to howl so I stopped at this coffee place and grabbed a large coffinccino with whip cream cause, you know, that’s what I like. I got about a half mile down the road when I couldn’t find my iCoffin so I pulled over to see if it had fallen in between the seats. As I was looking for it I happened to glance across the street and saw this freaky cute monster standing on the sidewalk. It was raining pretty hard by then and I couldn’t quite make out her face. I rolled down the window just as the wind changed direction and for a brief moment I caught the scent of nightshade and lilac shampoo. Draculaura? I got out and yelled her name. She looked up and I said to myself, “Oh monster, what’s she doing out in this weather without a coat or umbrella?” Good thing dad always keeps one of his “eventuality” kits in his car with everything a monster might need in an emergency, including one of those compact umbrellas. I grabbed it and ran across the street where Draculaura was standing. Ordinarily I would have cracked some kind of joke but she looked so miserable I just opened the umbrella and helped her back to the car. Once we got in I handed her the coffinccino and turned up the heater. We sat there for a moment with the car running and I asked her if she wanted me to take her home. She nodded and I drove her back to her house. They don’t have a covered drive so I walked her up to the door and made sure she got in. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and darted inside before I could say anything which is a good thing because it felt like I’d been hit by that ogre again only all I could smell this time was nightshade and lilacs. After I got home mom asked me where I’d been. When I told her the library she just looked at me and said, “If you say so.” I thought that was weird until I caught my reflection in the hall mirror and saw a perfect imprint of lips in Draculaura red.     
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mhdiaries · 4 years
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Diary of Toralei Stripe
Better have nine lives if I catch you reading my diary. 
July. Two. Five.
Ooh they’re telling math jokes now...
Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi!
The math geeks I’m stuck on this bus with think that this is funny. So funny in fact, that the harpy sitting in front of me shoots milk out of her nose when she hears the punch line. I don’t think it’s funny at all. I’d rather be listening to the music I have stored on my iCoffin but two hours into our five-hour ride home my iCoffin gave up the ghost. It should have lasted the whole trip and then some except that one of my math camp roomies “accidentally” unplugged my iCoffin charger last night when she plugged in her fright light. I don’t even know why a ghost needs a fright light. What? Was she afraid she would trip over something and go “bump in the night?” I realized what happened when we woke up this morning but we had to leave first thing so I didn’t have time to put a full charge on it. At least I got enough battery life to block out the two hours dedicated to the singing of “X Number Bottles of Ghoul Juice on the Wall.” To add to the misery the seats on this bus only have room for two monsters and Meowlody and Purrsephone are of course sitting together which left me stuck in a seat next to a troll named Teala who had never been away from her bridge for more than a day until she came to math camp.She cried herself to sleep every night. Not that any other monster but me noticed but then again I notice everything. I also noticed Teala wasn’t laughing at any of the math jokes either. In fact she seemed to be more miserable than I was. Well now, here I was thinking she was missing her bridge but if that were the case why didn’t she seem excited about going home? “Dish,” I said. She turned and looked at me for a moment and then stared back ahead. “Okay - suit yourself then,” I said and then tried to curl up in the seat to take a cat nap which I had almost accomplished when she said; “My boy-fiend broke up with me...by text...the first night of math camp.” She still wasn’t looking at me but she wasn’t crying either. “He was my first real boyfriend and...and I don’t know why I’m telling you ‘cause you don’t seem to care about any monster besides yourself and you’ll probably figure out a way to use this to make me even more miserable.” I didn’t show it, but that really hurt. Just because I enjoy the chaos that a good practical joke brings doesn’t mean that I’m intentionally cruel does it? I don’t think it does and besides; where’s the fun of kicking some monster when they’re already down? It’s a lot more fun to see the surprise on a monster’s face when they think they’ve got it all together and you can “help them” see that they don’t. So I said, “Guess you better tell me the whole story then so I can do a thorough job.” That actually brought a ghost of a smile to her face. Teala told me that her ex boy-fiend was applying to colleges and that he decided he needed to keep his “options open” in case he might meet his “intellectual equal” at school. At first I didn’t believe he actually wrote that and then she showed me the text. “Does he really think he’s that smart,” I asked. She kind of shrugged and said, “He’s scary smart but not as good at math as I am, especially withy differential equations.” She told me he really wanted to get into this one school because his favorite mad scientist taught there. I’d never heard of the school but I knew who the mad scientist was because Mr. Hack made use watch a bunch of his videos in class. The videos were deadly boring but the mad scientist had this odd accent and strange speech pattern. I used to mimic his voice in class to make Mr. Hack jump. I’d wait until Mr. Hack’s back was turned and then scream, “Huhhacckkk - theeese stuuudannts reeelease youuu wuh-ill ah-yuat wa-unce!” It cost me several days in detention and a trip to Headless Headmistress Bloodgood’s office the last time I mimicked the mad scientist but even Mr. Hack admitted he couldn’t tell the difference between the scientist’s voice and my imitation of it. We talked about a few more things and then Teala finally fell asleep. I was able to finally fall asleep as well but not before having to hear another math joke followed by an explosion of milk from the seat in front of me.
July. Two. Eight.
I went to MH today to pick up some pictures I left in the FearBook office. When I was done I went up to the belfry. It’s a good place to keep an eye on things without other eyes watching you. It’s also a good place to take a nap. Usually the hunchback who rings the bells...the bells...works up there but he was on summer vacation in France or somewhere so I had the place to myself; until Spectra came floating through that is. She thinks that she’s very stealthy but it’s almost impossible to sneak up on me and I heard the rattle of her chains long before she actually appeared. I pretended to be asleep for a moment then with my eyes still closed I said, “What do you want Spectra?” “Oh, hello Toralei. Did you hear the news?” Most monsters don’t trust anything they hear from Spectra. I know better. There’s always an element of truth in her “news”. You just need to know how to listen. Here’s an example; Spectra told me she heard that Nefera is moving back to town and will be taking over for Ms. Kindergruber in Home Ick. Not only that but Ms. Kindergruber is also going to quit teaching to become a roadie for her favorite rock and roll band. Now as much fun as it is to imagine Ms. K. climbing stacks of amps while wearing a sleeveless leather vest, bandana and steel toed boots it’s not going to happen. Although when compared to the thought of Nefera actually “lowering herself” to teach, it’s practically a done deal Ms K will be hitting the road. I’m pretty sure out of that confusing jumble of information the one true fact is that Nefera is moving back to town and probably sooner rather than later...now there’s a monster who enjoys kicking some body when it’s down.
July. Three. Zero.
Got an email today from Teala, the troll girl I sat with on the ride home from math camp. Apparently her ex boy-fiend told her that he got a call from the mad scientist he wanted to study under. The scientist told her ex that his test scores indicated a “skuhh-ill weeeakness in diffuhh-wrenntial eeeequay-shunns” and that her ex should find some monster that was intellectually superior and “geeet sah-ummm tuutorr-ing”. Her ex was certain it was the professor since “no monster could fake that voice.” He also apologized to Teala for being an arrogant jerk and asked if she would tutor him in differential equations. Teala told him that she would have to check her schedule. Sometimes it is just purrrecious the way things work out for the beast.
August. One. Three.
I bought a ball of dragon thread today for Sweet Fangs. It’s just about the only material that’s strong enough to survive more than one play session with her. I don’t know what I’m going to do when Sweet Fangs gets bigger because I’m probably going to need the whole dragon and I’m not sure mom and dad are going to be good with that.
August. Two. Five.
M&P came over today. They’re like my sisters and I can’t imagine how boring unlife would be without them. We do just about everything together and some monsters even think we’re related but we’re not. Not that it matters since we don’t really care what other monsters think anyway. We are who we are and any monster or monsters that want to try and herd us better get ready for a long miserable day. Today we weren’t worried about being herded, today was a brainstorm session. Our mission, repay Cleo de Nile and her minions for not only ruining our perfectly planned graduation prank but also for taking away part of our valuable summer vacation by “arranging” our trip to math camp. Knowing that it was Cleo who got the better of us is almost as irritating as being wet or having my fur stroked the wrong way. I can’t believe that I actually helped her when she first wanted to be a part of the Fear Squad. Cleo didn’t even know how to do a cartwheel, much less a round off. So I took her under my claw and taught her everything I knew and since I’d been doing gymnastics from the time I was a kitten I knew a lot. I finally got Cleo to the point where she started to “get it” and instead of being a liability she started contributing. I figured that for all my hard work and leadership Nefera would make me the Fear Squad captain when she graduated. Only she didn’t - she passed it onto Cleo. I can still remember what Nefera said to me when I confronted her about it. “I didn’t want Cleo to succeed - I wanted her to be humiliated but since you helped her, you get to deal with the consequences.” Then Cleo acted as if she deserved to be the captain and that she automatically knew everything there was to know about leading the Fear Squad. She should have showed some humility and stepped aside. She didn’t so now it’s up to me to teach her some new lessons and I can’t wait for class to be back in session.  
August. Three. One.
There’s a meteor shower tonight, which will give us the purrrfect opportunity to practice the three D’s. Divert. Design. Demure. First I divert attention away from myself - although tonight the meteor shower should do that for me, next I design a “surprise” for my intended victim student and then after the unexpected happens I demure - “Oh my, what happened here?” More later...
Ended up scraping the three D’s tonight, mostly because the meteor shower diverted me. I was supposed to meet M&P at this coffee shop down close to the beach - it’s the only time I go to the beach since sand + water + fur = unhappy werecat - but they were late so I grabbed a catnipuccino and waited. The owner turned down the lights of the shop so it was almost dark and then the sky was falling. The ghouls showed up just as somewhere down the beach a monster started playing guitar and I said, “Just because we’ve got nine lives doesn’t mean we need to rush through this one.” And we didn’t.
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