#the fic is unbetad so im editing as i go

[antigonenikk]

shades of cool

Billy is sort of insane. But Chrissy is too, so they make a good pair.

Or: (A Season 02 AU where Billy and Chrissy meet, fight demons, and fall in love. And not in that order.)

“Eventually, he grabs at her, and she feels tears. His or hers. They melt together. Jason’s blood leaves fingerprints all over her. She wants Billy to kill every person who has ever looked twice at her. She wants to keep him safe in a small room away from the world that has hurt him. She wants to run away with him. Far away. Out of this haunted town.”

Chapters 7/?

Word Count: 13224

Pairing: Billy Hargrove/Chrissy Cunningham

reckless driving - drug use - child abuse - eating disorders - unsafe sex - boys crying - love at first sight -horror

read on AO3

Chapter One Below

She saw him for the first time on a Tuesday. She remembered it was a Tuesday because she hated Tuesdays. On Tuesdays she had Cheer and then she had Pointe class in Muncee, which meant a one hour drive to the dance studio and then back, because Hawkins didn't have a dance studio. Well they did. But they didn't teach the Vaganova method there. And her Mom said that the Vaganova method was the only really good way to study ballet. So on Tuesdays she had pointe, which Chrissy tried to enjoy but secretly, shamefully, hated. She liked Pas de Deux classes much better, when they got to practice lifts with the boys. Where you got to fly. She felt that when you were raised up high by the male dancers, up to the ceiling, you were eternal. You were at the peak of the spectacle. You were an angel. You could not fall. No one could touch you. It’s why she liked cheering, too. Getting to be thrown up into the air, completely weightless for those few seconds.

But just normal pointe lessons rankled her. Her hair by that point was in a bun for three hours so her skull was aching, and she was hungrier than usual, and lightheaded from smoking so many cigarettes during break to keep up with the other girls and seem normal. So on a Tuesday morning the week before Halloween, when she woke up and looked at the clothes her mother had laid out, she wasn't expecting him. She wasn't expecting anything. Or thinking anything, really. Just doll thoughts. Put on shirt. Button in hole. Her mind was asleep where it liked to go a lot of the time, when it wasn't lit up with fire. In the mirror she put on the makeup her mother laid out. Pink eyeshadow today. Hair up. Earrings. Staring back at her was a face of someone she did not recognize. She could see this face in the halls at school on some other girl and it would be a complete stranger to her. Like a cut out of paper doll. A girl is there, she thought. Or something that looks like one. Her skin itched. She clutched her hands together. She clawed at her palms. She existed. She existed. It felt like a lie, like the more she repeated it the less real she became. On Tuesday she wasn't expecting anything. But she should have. Later it didn't seem fair for it to come so out of the blue. Like life was divided into two halves: before the Robin's Egg Blue, and After.

-

Her and Tammy were halfway from the parking lot to the front door of the school when it happened. Jason and Chance were approaching them, parting off from the rest of the team like lions going for the kill. And her, of course, the prey. Always. Chrissy wanted to groan. Her Mom wanted her really really badly to date Jason. Which she didn't get, because her Mom hated when she dated anyone. Like, literally refused it. And that was fine with Chrissy. If she had Mom she didn't need a boyfriend. Her and Mom were totally best friends. They did everything together. A boy wouldn't understand. Would distract her. But Mom wanted her to date Jason, and Jason wanted her to date Jason, and Chrissy felt so guilty because he was handsome but she just couldn't do it. She didn't want them to feel bad. She was dragging her feet. He just wasn't interesting. He was like everyone else. Boring. Boring. And wanting something from her. Wanting her performance. The problem wasn't him. The problem was her. She wasn't normal. She liked people, she liked a lot of people. But in a general sense, like, in the sense that she loved mankind. Individuals, she didn't want to get near. They crowded her, they wanted too much, they were confusing. She had to perform for them, all of them, all of the time. They wanted to touch her. She could do it for her Mom, but Mom was family. And suffering for your family is a lot easier than suffering for people you don't really know or care too much about.

Jason was approaching, Tammy laughing beside her, when the car pulled up. Robin's egg blue, AD. After the death of everything else. Blasting Motley Crüe, which she didn't recognize then, just thought it was noise that was l o u d. And the car speeding, tires fuming on the black-top. And then the car stopped. They were staring. It felt like the whole of Hawkins was staring. A red haired girl got out of the back and skated away. And then. And then. Sort of like the center point of the turning world, he appeared, and all motion stopped. Like the world slowed down, almost going in reserve. All of history leading up to this one moment. Blonde. Blonde. So Blonde. Only thought in her head. Oh no. She was fucked.

He had sunglasses on, and he was smoking a cigarette, letting it dangle off his lips like it could fall at any second, and he was so cool. Oh no. She turned away and kept walking and the world sped back up. Walking faster. Oh no. She looked back, couldn't help it really. He hadn't seen her yet, thank goodness. Just surveying the territory. He was dangerous. She could tell. He looked smug, and above it all. She had thought Jason was like a lion but she was wrong. This was a real apex predator. A snake maybe. Or a panther. He wasn't human. Which was the important part. He was much, much more. She wanted to be a lamb. Or a bunny rabbit. She wanted to lay down and let him grab her in his jaws and shake until her neck broke. That would be a good way to go. Just like falling off the top of the pyramid, but better. Because it would be something beautiful ending her life. And that counted for a lot.

She was almost running, panicking. She had never felt anything before like this towards her friends or her Mom or any boys who asked her on dates. It was coursing through her. White hot want.

"Wait. Shit, Chris, wait up!"

Tammy was grabbing her arm. Chrissy turned to her, and she could tell the mask was slipping, because Tammy looked scared.

"Are you okay?"

"I..."

She didn't know what to say. She loved Tammy, sort of. But distantly. She felt sick. She couldn't tell her.

"I'm fine!"

"Did you see the new kid?"

Chrissy nodded, mutely. They were inside now, so it was all okay. Approaching her locker. Was something wrong with her? Her heart wouldn't stop racing. Her whole body was on fire.

"He..."

She cleared her throat.

"He had a nice car."

Tammy laughed.