#the furniture. ive never actually felt that specific feeling for a character before

[seafoam-taide]

uhm. hi. the beast is pathetic in nature

[dantediscoversfic]

Chapter 31: Oscar Ramirez

I got over the flu but it left behind a restless drawn-tight feeling inside me that I couldn’t shake. I went to visit Ari every day but other than that I didn’t leave my room much. My mom finally insisted on scheduling an appointment for me to see one of her counselor colleagues, Oscar Ramirez. I didn’t fight her too hard on it. I knew it was probably a good idea to talk someone. Oscar worked for the same shelter/halfway house my mom did in addition to having an off-site office. I’d met a few of her colleagues before but never Oscar, which made the idea of talking to him easier somehow.

Ari had been released from the hospital for about a week and a half by the time I went to talk to Oscar for the first time. I’d been going over to Ari’s house every day to visit him. Sometimes we’d go for “walk and rolls” around the neighborhood but mostly we hung out in his room. I decided to read The Sun Also Rises aloud to him (mostly because Hemingway’s sparse, terse writing style reminded me of Ari, but I didn’t tell him that). I read a chapter or two each visit and we’d talk about it after. One time we talked about where we’d go if we decided to become dissolute ex-patriots like the characters in the novel and travel the world together. I wanted to go to Paris; Ari wanted to go to Iceland or Norway. When I asked him why, he said he was sick of the Texas heat and wanted to see the Northern Lights.

“I bet there’s no light pollution up there,” he said.

“Sure, no light pollution, but the winter’s colder than a witch’s tit.”

He snorted. “I wouldn’t mind the cold.”

“How do you know? You’ve lived in Texas your whole life.”

“It snows here sometimes, you know. Like two Christmases ago.”

“I know, but El Paso winter is nothing like up there. We’d need to bring special snowsuits and camping gear or risk dying of hypothermia.”

“It’d be worth it though. To go somewhere so remote and cold and quiet.”

“Sounds like you really want to go on vacation to The Fortress of Solitude.”

“Hey, don’t knock The Fortress. A man needs a place where he can be alone and think.”

“And freeze his face and nuts off in the process.”

“That’s just the price you pay to stop everyone being all up in your business all the time. And anyway, Superman is impervious to frost bite. And don’t talk about Superman’s nuts. That’s sacrilegious.”

“I wasn’t talking about Superman’s nuts specifically. Just frozen nuts in general.”

“Okay okay enough with the nuts talk. Jesus.”

“What? They’re just a body part. No weirder than pinky toes or noses.”

“Yeah, okay, whatever. Hey I’m pretty wiped…so…I might take a nap or something.”

Ari’s face was flushed he looked sort of agitated so I cut my visit short after that. I could tell something was off between us but I didn’t try to press him. Sometimes when I went to visit I wasn’t even sure if he wanted me there. I figured he had every reason to be resentful of me. It was my fault he was stuck at home for the rest of the summer, at the mercy of his painfully itchy and useless legs. I was afraid more than anything that he’d want to stop being friends with me if I needled him too much or asked him what was wrong. So it was easier to talk about books or imaginary plans to travel the world together than what I actually wanted to talk about, which was how badly I was going to miss him when we moved and how sorry I still was about the accident.

When the time came for my appointment with the counselor, I was nervous even though I knew seeking counseling was a totally normal thing to do. Nothing to be ashamed of.

“Do I have to lay down on a couch?” I asked my mom on the car ride over.

She smiled. “Of course not. That’s the sort of thing you really only see in movies nowadays.”

“Good, because that part always seemed a little weird. Do I have to analyze my dreams?”

“Only if you want to.”

“What if I run out of things to say and we just stare at each other in awkward silence the whole time?”

“You’ve never had a particular problem with maintaining conversation, Dante. You can talk to him about whatever you want. Or not talk. No pressure.”

What I really wanted to ask her was if she thought the accident had messed me up somehow, or worse, messed Ari up, and that’s the real reason she wanted me to talk to a counselor. Not physically messed us up. But if I’d caused something to get broken inside us. I had no issue with the field of psychiatry in general, seeing as it was my mother’s profession, but I didn’t like the idea of a stranger realizing there was something wrong with me that needed fixing.

Oscar had an office in the El Paso Child and Teen Guidance Center, which was located in a shopping center. That sort of surprised me. I’m not sure what I expected, but it wasn’t the totally mundane looking storefront hiding in plain sight next to a hair salon, pet store and a travel agency. Oscar greeted us at the reception desk, where he kissed my mom on the cheek and shook my hand.

Oscar was around my parents’ age. He was on the stocky side, but not fat or anything. He was the type of solid build that you could describe as equally fitting for a linebacker and a big teddy bear. He had a round, friendly face and close cut salt-and-pepper black hair that didn’t do much to make his appearance less boyish and wholesome. He had a firm handshake and big hands.

“Dante, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Your mom has told me a lot about you.”

“Thanks, you too. I mean, nice to meet you, too.”

After my mom checked me in and filled out some paperwork, she left me with Oscar and told me she’d be waiting for me in the reception area.

Oscar’s office was bright and decorated with colorful furniture, throw rugs and artwork, which also surprised me. In my mind I’d pictured something much more stuffy and clinical. To one side of the room was a small couch and an armchair, both plush and comfy looking; between them was a coffee table with a box of Kleenex on it, which I was determined I would not have to use come hell or high water. On the other side of the room was a kid-sized table and chairs plus art supplies and toy boxes, set up like a mini preschool. Seeing the kid stuff made me feel strange. A little sad for the kids who needed to come in here. The office also had a desk, several bookshelves, and a beverage station. Overall it felt more like a living room than an office.

Oscar gestured toward the couch. “Please, take a seat. Make yourself comfortable. Do you want some water? Tea?”

“I’m okay.”

Oscar sat down in the armchair across from me. “So, Dante. Before we get started, I just wanted to let you know that even though your mother and I are colleagues and she let me know a little bit about why she wanted you to come see me today, I want you to feel like this is a safe space to share anything that’s on your mind with the understanding that I take your trust and confidentiality seriously.”

“Even though I’m a minor and you’re legally allowed to tell my parents what we discuss?” I asked. I’d done my research about confidentiality ahead of time. More than the accident I wanted to talk about what it meant that I loved my best friend who was a boy, but I’d decided already to keep that part of me sealed in the vault no matter what. I couldn’t be 100% sure he wouldn’t tell my parents about that.

Oscar smiled. “You are definitely Soledad’s son. Yes, you’re absolutely correct. Even though you’re a minor I would breach confidentiality only if I was worried for your personal safety or the safety of others or in the rare instance that my notes were subpoenaed by a court order.”

“Wow, that would be pretty badass.”

Oscar raised an eyebrow but was still grinning. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”

“Sure, yeah. I was just joking. Discussion of client confidentiality protocol: check.”

It was a relief to hear him say he wasn’t going to tell my parents everything we talked about, but I still wasn’t quite ready to dive right into the accident.

“I like your office,” I said, stalling. I pointed to the kids’ area. “Do you work with a lot of children?”

“A fair number.”

“Do you do art therapy with them?”

“Sometimes. It depends on the child.”

“I’ve read all about the field of art therapy. I think it’s fascinating. If I don’t become a professional artist I might become an art therapist.”

“Would you like to do any drawing right now? We could start with some art exercises if you’re not in the mood to talk at the moment.”

“No, that’s okay. It’s hard for me to draw because of my broken arm. I’m a right-y. But thanks for offering.”

“So you’re okay to talk?”

I nodded.

“I’m glad. So, I understand from your mother that you and a friend of yours were involved in a car accident about three weeks ago and she’s concerned you haven’t been quite yourself since. That you’ve been having nightmares and seem much more withdrawn than usual. Do you want to talk about the accident? Or about what’s been on your mind?”

“So she already told you what happened?”

“Briefly. But I’d like to hear it from you, if you feel comfortable talking about it.”

“Well, it’d been raining and I went out into the street and didn’t see a car coming.” For some reason I didn’t want to tell him about the injured bird I’d seen. “Ari pushed me out of the way of the car and broke both his legs and his arm. He could have died but he didn’t.”

“Ari is your friend?”

“Yeah, my best friend.”

“How is he handling everything?”

“Um. Ok. I dunno. He can be kind of hard to read sometimes. They recently let him out of the hospital. He’s stuck in casts for the rest of the summer because of me.”

“And how have you felt since the accident?”

“I think my mom is worried that I’m showing signs of anxiety, depression and PTSD and that’s why they want me to talk to you. But I don’t have PTSD.”

“No?”

“No. I looked it up in the DSM-IV.” I ticked each symptom off with my fingers. “I’m not having recurring flashbacks or panic attacks. I’m not avoiding cars or the street. I’m not having angry outbursts. Well, I’m still kind of pissed at my parents about deciding to move to Chicago but that’s a different thing. Yeah, my dreams have been a little weird and I’m not sleeping great but that’s because my arm cast is so annoying. So I think we can safely say I don’t have PTSD. Possibly a little low-level anxiety. But I do deep breaths if I start feeling weird.”

“I don’t want to rule anything out just yet, but I’m happy to hear you’re listening to your body and your emotions. What do you mean when you say you start feeling weird?”

“I guess…sad. Stomach crampy. Frustrated. I think I’m worried about Ari. About how he’s recovering. About not being able to help him when we move.”

“It sounds to me like you might blame yourself for what happened to Ari.”

“Well, yeah, because it was my fault.”

“Who said it was your fault?”

“No one said it was my fault. But it obviously was.”

“Why do you feel that way?”

“It’s not feelings, it’s the facts. I went out to the street, I wasn’t paying attention and Ari got hurt because I was stupid and off in my own little world instead of paying attention to the road. And the thing about Ari is, he doesn’t like it when I’m upset, so he only let me apologize once and then he said we’re not allowed to talk about the accident anymore. He has some kind of stoic boy code about it. He wants to pretend it never happened.”

“Is that what you want?”

“Well, I don’t think we should, you know, dwell on it or anything. But I want him to know how sorry I am that I almost got him killed and ruined the rest of his summer.”

“Did Ari say anything like that to you? That you ruined his summer?”

“No. But he’s not big on talking anyway. But, like I said before, it’s a fact. Now he’s stuck in a wheelchair until his legs heal and he can’t do anything except hang around his house and read books and I know he’s pissed about it even if he won’t say anything.”

“Has he ever expressed anger or regret about what he did? That he saved your life?”

“No. Nothing like that. He’s just been moody and sullen. I mean, he’s been in a lot of pain so I don’t blame him for being crabby. I just don’t want him to hate me.”

“Why do you think he would hate you? It seems to me to be quite the opposite, that he cares about you very much. Do you want to tell me about him? How did you two become friends?”

“We met at the pool. I offered to give him swimming lessons. Because he didn’t know how to swim properly.”

“You like to swim?”

“Almost more than anything. Well, I like swimming, reading, drawing, stargazing and hanging out with Ari pretty much equally.” I lifted my cast arm and pulled a face. “Now my life is pretty much limited to reading and hanging out with Ari and teaching myself to become ambidextrous. Not that I’m complaining. I mean, I’m lucky to be alive. I know it’s babyish but I miss swimming with him. I wish I could retcon the whole day of the accident.”

“Retcon?”

“Oh that’s a comic book thing. Basically when the writers change things retroactively in a story to make up for continuity errors. Sort of like a big do-over. Usually that sort of thing bugs the heck out of me because it seems so lazy. But I get the appeal now. Like you have God’s big eraser.”

“It’s natural to wish you could change the past so easily. But it’s equally important to learn how to move forward. And to not beat yourself up over something you can’t change.”

I shrugged and picked at my cast. “I just keep thinking that if it had been Ari in the middle of the road, I wouldn’t have been able to save him. I wouldn’t have been fast or strong enough. He was like Superman, the way he dove at me and pushed me out of the way.”

“Why do you think you wouldn’t have been able to help him if your roles were reversed?”

“Because when I saw the car coming, I just froze.”

“That could have been your body experiencing a fight or flight reaction. And also Ari saw the car coming whereas you did not, yes? So he had more time to think and react.”

“But still, I don’t think I could ever be as brave as he was.”

“You may be underestimating yourself and your strength. It sounds to me like you’re beating yourself up about a theoretical past as well as construing what actually happened to place all the blame on yourself. Just imagine what the people driving the car must have felt like. They most likely felt guilt as well. But motor accidents happen so quickly, in a blink of an eye, that it’s not helpful to play the blame game after the fact, particularly if it’s determined that the driver wasn’t under the influence of drugs or alcohol and the accident was just that: an accident. I would advise you to try not to blame yourself for the actions of others. And if that’s difficult, you may want to ask yourself, what am I getting out of continuing to blame myself for something that was out of my control?”

I didn’t quite know what to say to that.

He must have seen my confusion so he rephrased his question. “In other words, are you holding onto feelings of guilt and shame because you don’t think you’re worthy of having a friend who cares about you enough to put his own life in danger to save yours?”

I didn’t think I was worthy of it. But thinking about that made me start to feel like I might cry, which I had been determined not to do, so I clamped down and said nothing for awhile.

After a bit of silence Oscar said, “You know, I never read comics but my daughter loves them.”

“Really? Which ones? Betty and Veronica?”

“Actually The X-Men is her favorite. She loves all the Saturday morning cartoons based on comics, too.”

“How old is she?”

“Twelve.”

“And she doesn’t think X-Men is too scary?”

“Well, she’s always been a tough little cookie. Never was into any of the princess stuff. Except She-Ra Princess of Power. She adores She-Ra.”

“She-Ra is pretty rad.”

“Do you have a favorite comic?”

“Ari teases me about it, but I really like Archie. He thinks they’re lame. Which, sure, yeah, they can be pretty cheesy. But I don’t like the really dark comics.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that. There’s no rule that says you have to like all the same things your friends do.”

“Believe me I know that. I know I’m a little weird.”

“What makes you say that?”

“It’s not a secret or anything. Ari’s the first guy I’ve met my age who really gets me. I’ve never really had a best friend like him before. Not since we moved to El Paso anyway. I had a best friend in California but that was already years ago. We hardly see each other or write letters anymore.”

“And you’re worried that the accident and the move to Chicago will have a negative impact on your friendship with Ari? That you’ll lose touch and stop being friends? And you blame yourself for this future you see happening?”

I nodded, hoping to dislodge the traitorous lump that was forming in my throat.

“You’ve told me Ari hasn’t expressed anger or regret to you about the accident. It sounds to me like he values you and your friendship very much. He values you enough to have put himself at risk when he saw you were in danger. This doesn’t sound to me like a fair weather friend. And there are many ways to stay in touch. You can write letters and talk on the phone.”

“Sure, yeah.”

“I’d like to circle back to what you said at the start, about you being insistent about not having PTSD.”

“Okay…”

“It’s important to remember that everyone reacts to stress and trauma differently. You have in fact experienced a traumatic event. Your life and the life of your best friend was put in danger. For many people, acute stages of trauma may occur two to four weeks after the event itself. So it’s totally normal for your life and mental health to take some time settle back into place. You’re allowed to feel frustrated, angry, worried, scared and whatever other emotions might arise. It’s important to not rush to judge or ignore your feelings. You’ve mentioned that Ari isn’t talkative when it comes to expressing emotions, which is valid and what he needs right now to process the accident. But for you, I get the sense that you have a lot you’d like to express, either verbally or visually. Would journaling or drawing about the accident help you move forward?”

“Maybe…I usually keep a journal but I haven’t been able to write or draw much with my broken arm. When I draw with my left hand it’s like I’m in preschool again.”

“As I’m sure you know, artists express emotions in non-figurative ways all the time. If I asked you to express your feelings about the accident in abstract visual form and not worry how it looks compared to your other drawings, would that be a helpful thing to do?”

“Maybe. It still might look like chicken scratch.”

“Nothing wrong with that. If you feel more comfortable creating a collage we can try that instead.”

"I'd like to try to draw I think."

Oscar got out some paper and colored pencils and markers and charcoals for me. Instead of sitting at the kiddie table he let me sit at his desk to work. The first thing he had me do was draw how thinking about the accident made me feel.

Without really thinking about it, I picked up a black charcoal and started drawing the injured bird in the middle of the road. I used heavy black strokes. It was frustrating at first to not have complete control of the charcoal like I usually did but just putting marks and lines on the paper felt okay. But the drawing still left me with a hollow feeling.

“This is what I saw,” I told Oscar. “I saw an injured bird in the road and I went to pick it up and that’s why I didn’t see the car coming. I think I killed it. The bird.”

“And this makes you sad?”

“Yeah. I wanted to save it. But it still got killed. And Ari got hurt. It was stupid of me. I should have seen the car coming.”

“Is there anything you can do to this drawing now to make you feel less sad about it?”

“When I first saw the bird, it was on the road. But then I picked it up and held it close to my chest.”

I drew a hand around the bird, but it still didn’t feel right. Too stark and bleak. Not how I remembered the bird at all.

“The bird had colors on it. But I can’t really remember what they were exactly.”

“It’s your bird now, Dante. You can add whatever colors to it you want.”

I remembered the made-up birds I used to draw when I was little: the rainbow rocketbird, the tawny tailblaster. Pages and pages of sketchbooks filled with imaginary creatures. I hadn’t judged myself then about how anatomically accurate they were or how technically proficient I was. I drew and created because it felt good. Right now my drawing didn’t make me feel good so I added colors to my bird’s wings and I turned the hand into a nest. That felt better.

I felt calmer after my drawing was finished. But something still bothered me.

“Do you think me changing the drawing of the bird is like retconning the accident?” I asked. “I mean, when I started, I thought I would draw the bird like I remembered it. But that made me feel terrible to picture it all stiff and dark and lifeless. I wanted to protect it. Now it looks more like it’s asleep than it’s dead. But that’s not what actually happened.”

“If drawing the bird like this helped you reframe your sadness and anger into something beautiful, then I think it’s a good thing.”

“It’s not cheating?”

“No, I don’t think it’s cheating at all. In fact, I think it’s more like forgiving.”

“Forgiving who?”

“Yourself.”

[theoneandonlysaucymo]

He Needs You More Part 1

Paring: Alpha!Dean x Omega! Reader

Words: 7,155 (OOPS)

Warnings: No smut yet thats next time, Slight mention of other character death,

A/N: For @dr-dean ABO Birthday/Song challenge. I’ve been itching to write it and ive been pondering this idea for a while and well I saw the song list and bamn it fit so perfectly! THIS GOT LONG AF I CANT WRITE PWP I LOVE MY PLOTS TOO MUCH. That being said I am sorry this is late school has been kicking me hard but I’m working on part two now! Song comes later this is just setting things up. 

Tags: (If you would like to be tagged let me know. tagging a few abo blogs to): @hymnofthevalkyries @mylittlefandomfanfictions @feelmyroarrrr @kittenofdoomage @angryschnauzer

“WHAT ARE YOU KIDS DOING!” You shouted opening the door in the old abandoned house. The five teenagers bolted their fear evident coursing through their pores as they bolted out the back entrance and through broken windows. You sighed out frustrated, so they had been the ones summoning these demons, not that they knew what they were doing. You looked down at the books and notes, these kids clearly had no idea what they were messing with. You moved picking up the items and right as you reached to snuff out the lines a man appeared in the center with a white light. You reached for your gun but this guy was slightly quicker knocking it from your hand but you were ready a silver knife in the other. You had it at his throat and pinned him quickly to the wall looking straight into his eyes. Your expression turned to a bit shocked as green eyes stared back at you, that wasn’t the shocking part as his scent filled your nose. Alpha. “Who the hell are you?! Demon?” You snarled as the silver knife cut into his skin but he didn’t flinch.

           “Look lady I ain’t no demon but I came here looking for one,” The man said before he looked at you funny. You let up on him but still were suspicious and only when you saw the trickle of blood on his neck did you pull away. You shoved him back and fully erased a line on the drawn symbol on the ground. He wasn’t a demon the blade that was at his neck was made by the hands of priests and from blessed steel so if a demon that should’ve burned him. You looked at the symbol then it struck you.

“You aren’t from here are you?” You asked his scent overwhelming you but you were trying to keep it together.

“What gave that away?” He smirked his hand reaching up to whip the blood from his neck.

“Your scent….it reeks of alpha…” You said looking at him picking up the last of the books. You saw a blank and confused stare from the man and you looked down at the symbol on the floor and flipped through the book.

“I'm a what?” He almost spat out not sure he heard you correctly.

“You have no idea what I’m talking about do you?” You said shocked as it was a portal spell, he was never supposed to be here at all. A cellphone started ringing and the man fumbled for it.

“Hello?” He asked cautiously. “Wait I actually get signal here? Yea….yea Sam I’m fine…let me call you back later, got some chick here talking about me being an alpha or something.” He hung up the phone and looked at you. “Where exactly am I?” He asked.

“Not sure what to say other than earth, specifically North Carolina…but I guess an alternate reality from yours since you had no idea what an alpha is,” You said shifting a bit uncomfortably before changing the subject. “If you’re looking for the black demon they originally released its dead,” You said shuffling through the book, you found the page you wanted quickly reading the passage.

“You sure? He had an accomplice,” The man said as you fumbled for your phone showing him a few images of the demons before you killed them.

“Both dead, those idiot teenagers had no idea what they were doing, thinking they were summoning some hot chick when all they got were demons, caught them before they could try it again but I guess this is where you can travel back and forth. We can try to recreate this but it can’t be so close together, time rifts could happen, so looks like you’re crashing here for a few days,” You said looking at him as you took your phone out and snapped a few pictures of the drawings on the floor. The man hadn’t said a word to you but you could see the wheel moving in his head.

“So you a hunter?” He said finally. You nodded retrieving your gun putting the safety back on and putting it in its holster.

“If you mean I go around killing these things then yea, here we usually use the term exorcist,” You said pondering your options with him. It was going to be a very long few days at this rate; you might be able to get away with using it in three or four days. “I guess you can stay with me till that time…don’t need you wandering around you’ll raise too much attention,” You added pulling out your car keys.

“Attention? Listen sweetheart I can fade into the shadows no problem and ill just wait around till my brother does the spell again,” He said.

“Names Y/N, Not sweetheart, and I highly doubt that you’re gonna attract omegas from all over the state if we don’t get you hidden,” You said walking out of the house. You waited for him to follow and he soon appeared from the house, hands in his pocket as you watched him.

“Safe to say I know nothing about this world…this alpha omega thing or not guess I better not turn down help,” He said. “Names Dean Winchester,” he said extending out his hand. You smiled and shook it but could not shake how odd you were feeling.

“Get in thankfully these idiots did this not too far from where I live,” You said opening the doors to your mustang. Dean looked over your car, black with silver embellishing’s, and tan interior, this was looking a bit to eerily like his life as he sat on the passenger’s side. The hum of the older motor unsettled him slightly but he said nothing as you pulled away. No music was played as you focused on the road and trying to ignore him, but his scent was tainting your car, worse yet you weren’t minding it.

“So what is this whole alpha omega thing…like everyone is a werewolf or something?” Dean asked.

“No not quite, they took the names maybe from packs I guess,” You started as you turned onto a main highway. “Look everyone here is born either an alpha, an omega, or a beta. Alphas for some reason have died out, either killed or just not being born anymore, I'm not really sure which for sure” You started.

“And yet demons appear as alphas?” Dean asked

“That or angels, male female doesn’t matter anything supernatural it seems appears as an alpha….so makes my job easy…but you….you shouldn’t be here,” You stated again you voice sounding a bit bitter. “You’re going to throw off the balance and have demons coming from all over the place,” You added as you were gunning it now to get back. You couldn’t stand to watch another person die let alone another alpha.

“Look I’m sorry for being a bother but that demon was bad news we couldn’t let it just get away it was possessing a child where I was from,” Dean said as he looked out the window then he felt like this was a weird game of déjà vu. You pulled into a garage that looked strangely like the bunkers garage and parked where he usually parked Baby. He looked around and you watched him curious as he got out of the car, he looked like he was seeing ghosts as he followed you inside. You set your things down on the kitchen table and looked at him as his green eyes looked you angry. “Is this some kind of game?!” He shouted.

“Game? This is where I-?” You asked a bit shocked.

“Live Yea this is exactly where I live too,” Dean said same time as you. You followed him and he pointed out every single place in this including the dungeon. He moved to the bedrooms and opened the door to your sister’s room before you could stop him. “This….is...was mine…” He paused looking around as the room looked similar to his but the colors were different and furnishings were less masculine and simple. Biggest difference this room looked unlived in a fine layer of dust coated the furniture and the room smelled a bit musty.

“If you would please leave this room alone,” You said pulling him away and shutting the door. You looked away then realized you would have to explain. “That was my sister’s room, can pick any other room except this one and the one down the hall since you know your way around,” You said turning and heading for your room.

“And that’s Sam’s room,” Dean sighed out softly his eyes looking down the hall shocked. Your door shut and he was left in the hallway alone. He opened the door to your sisters room and stepped inside, why was all this so much like his life. He looked at the bookcase, you two kept better photos than he and Sam ever did as he looked through the frames. If Dean and Sam had taken pictures, they probably would’ve looked similar to this. He saw you in graduation gowns then acceptance letters to college before a picture with you and another girl in front of a dorm. The photos quickly changed and he saw a much more tired you, happy as you smiled with the same girl from earlier, but tired.

“You don’t listen either,” You sighed out from the doorway as you watched Dean sitting on your sister’s bed looking at photos.

“What happened?” Dean asked as you moved and sat next to him. He handed you a photo and you smiled, you remembered that night at the bar after a tough hunt. You wanted nothing more than to just curl up into bed but not her, no she wanted to celebrate and you could never so no.

“Demon possessed her,” You said softly your fingers tracing over her face as you whipped a layer of dust off. “I couldn’t find a cure, not one in time anyways she had done too much killed to many,” You said leaving it at that. It was you that pulled the trigger and you would regret that for the rest of your life.

“This can’t be happening,” Dean said you turned looking at him. “Why is it you and her are living the exact same life I am?!” He said annoyed. You shrugged.

“Probably not all the same but bits and pieces Sam still has you so it’s not exact,” You said standing and putting the picture back on the bookshelf. You let out a sigh and looked at him, “She too was an alpha she hid her scent with drugs but demons can just tell, my theory is they are eliminating the alphas making humans more susceptible to them, particularly omegas who are also dying out or disappearing either one,” You said.

“So you’ve explained this alpha beta omega thing sort of what is it really?” Dean asked.

“It’s just some genetic thing god thought would be funny to put on people, betas I guess are just like your world just normal people omegas are as well so long as an alpha isn’t around,” You added trying to think of how to word this. “Alphas are plain what their name sake says they were top dogs, could make a whole room look there way, picture the high school all-star jocks if you will, just what the name implies they could turn heads. Omegas can either act like alphas and command attention, but also they can be shy and meek it’s kinda hard to say we don’t really fit any certain standard,” You thought about it. You were more on the beta alpha side of the spectrum but you had meet much more shy omegas.

“Is that it? Just a personality thing?” Dean pressed as you could feel he was getting a bit agitated about something.

“No…your anatomy changes too, Alphas can smell what everyone is and typically they attract more to Omegas and vice versa, not to say they can’t be attracted to betas. I guess the biggest thing is the obvious anatomy does change. Omegas are like super fertile but only at certain times we call it not surprisingly heats,” You stated. "But the heats only happen in Omegas, alphas it’s called rutt sometimes they line up with each other sometimes they don’t,” You stated as you excused yourself to grab an anatomy book from the library. “Pretty much the two were designed to have lots of kids….guess when he first made us we weren’t reproducing fast enough. The rest of the anatomy changes you can look up,” You said handing him the book. You certainly did not want to be thinking about the alpha male anatomy changes he was already here and his scent overpowering. Dean had been quiet this whole time, his face a bit mixed of shock and curiosity but took the book a little hesitant to look through it. “Right I’ll leave you to that, you know the way around just don’t mess anything up in here ok?” You asked softly. Dean looked at the book but didn’t open it

“Is that why you smell so good?” He asked almost hesitantly.

“Heat? No its cause I’m an omega and you’re an alpha it’s just pure biology on that,” You smiled at him before leaving the room. You headed to your room and clenched at your stomach, this was such a bad idea and you needed to get him home as fast as possible before you went into heat or he went into a rutt….and you had a feeling the latter would happen first.

You awoke the next morning to the smell of bacon and shrugged the sleep from your eyes. You moved to grab for your gun before remembering you had a visitor and groaned as you moved to put on clothes. It was too early to be up for you but would be rude to sleep all day. You washed your face and tried to look a bit more presentable and wake up before you headed to the kitchen.

“Hey morning….you had some stuff so…I’d thought I’d make breakfast? Or I guess brunch,” Dean said as you headed straight for the coffee. The warm beverage in hand you looked around

“This looks good,” You smiled as he started to plate things. Eggs, bacon, pancakes you were actually looking forward to this.

“Didn’t know what you liked but this seemed safe,” Dean said setting a plate in front of you before sitting at the other end of the table. You two ate in relative silence, it wasn’t weird you thought you were still trying to wake up as you finished and offered to wash dishes. Dishes washed you sat back down with another cup of coffee. “So….like guys are just ok here smelling people and having weird muscles?” Dean finally asked as you spit your coffee. That was so not, what you were expecting this early.

“I…ummm… like I said alphas are pretty much extinct now but no…it…it’s just something we all just kinda know as kids on top of bird and the bees in general, not…really weird for us. Your type has almost gone into like a fairy tale myth for people,” You said getting a napkin and cleaning up the spilt coffee. You looked over at him, “Seriously I wasn’t kidding when I said there are no alphas, the biology text books may talk about them but honestly they are gone and omegas are starting to head the same way, and girls can be alphas too,” You added as it wasn’t just guys that got special anatomy. He went to ask but then got a bit of a shocked and horrified face, “I’ll just let you ponder that for a while Winchester, if you look in that book it did explain,” You laughed as you headed into the library. His scent was becoming a bit too intoxicating as you shuffled around what looked like an herb cabinet. You quickly found some suppressants, checking the date you took them, no need for you to even think about going into heat with him around. Pills taken you moved around searching for portal spells, there had to be some way to send him back faster.

“So…..is there a plan?” Dean asked.

“Not really, you can’t leave this bunker period,” You said finding a few books.

“What that’s not even fair-“

“You don’t get it when I say there is literally zero, read my lips ZERO alphas you will literally be like walking meat on a stick and god forbid you run into an omega in heat…..” You grumbled as you looked over and he was kinda smirking. “No like cat in heat all over you annoying…and don’t even think about fucking someone, if you slip up and go and bond with them…..heaven help you heartless bastard,” You said frustrated.

“Whoa wait what bond?” Dean asked.

“Did you even read that anatomy book?” you sighed out.

“Well open a book and I just get put to sleep soo….” He said scratching at his neck. You sighed out

“So during the whole sex thing, yes there’s the sex but you can also claim that person forming a bond with them. Corny I didn’t make the rules, but you bite an area on the neck that is typically more appealing and you can claim them,” You said looking at him as he just had a shocked face. “Exactly so just keep it in your pants, you claim someone you have to be with them fairly frequently or risk them practically dying from heats that you awaken in them, since you’re an alpha and all, I doubt you would find a beta to be with,” You said going back to your book. The room fell silent as you sensed him processing everything.

“What kinda world is this?” he said almost horrified as you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Exactly now you see why all this is dying out, won’t be much left of it soon,” You added. “It’s always weird to talk about so thankfully we have a few more generations and it will be gone and I guess well be like your world,” You shrugged.

“Ok that’s enough history and anatomy for today,” Dean shifted uncomfortably and headed towards the bedrooms. You snickered and immersed yourself in research. You hardly noticed the time passes as you tried to find anything to speed up his stay here but came up short. You rested your head on the table stretching out your back and closing your eyes. It didn’t take long, the grandfather clock in here ticking back and forth lulled you to sleep.

It was late and a midnight snack drove Dean from his room he glanced into the library then stopped. That was the strangest position he had ever seen someone sleep in.

“Y/N,” He said gently nudging your shoulder but you didn’t move a muscle breathing softly on your arms. Well he couldn’t leave you like this you would wake up sore. He moved and gently picked you up, your scent hit him hard as he paused what he was doing and took a moment. So that smell was you, and gods you smelled amazing. He couldn’t name a certain smell over another a mix of many things but it was just you and it somehow smelled like home, it was warm and comforting. He shook his head and moved to your room gently setting you in your bed and covering you up. He sat on the edge for a while his hand on your shoulder, for some reason he just couldn’t pull away. He moved a strand of your hair out of your face corner of your mouth turned up in a small smile. When you did smile, your eyes had lit up but he could see you didn’t smile much anymore and that pained him, this could’ve been Sam’s life. He went to stand when your arm darted out and grabbed hold of his arm in an almost death grip. He looked back to your once peaceful looking face and now it was tense frowning. This was a bad idea, a very bad idea, he even knew that but you weren’t letting go of him. “Alright, alright princess you win,” Dean sighed out giving in or lose his arm and possibly wake you. You had let his hand go, but Dean doubt he would’ve made it out the door without you waking up. Dean walked around the bed behind you and moved under the covers as he stared up at the ceiling. Your breathing was soft and peaceful as being near you was apparently enough. Dean let out a small sigh and closed his eyes, your bed was actually pretty comfortable best part was it smelled like you calming his mind as he started to fade into sleep. Your body shifted almost the same time his did as you two just natural curled into each other. Your head moved in the crook of his neck, his head rested softly on yours, arms and legs intertwining as you each breathed in each other scents.

When you awoke that morning, you felt surprisingly well. You hated waking up always tired no matter how long you slept but another exorcism always called. Today you didn’t want to get out of bed for another reason, you were extremely comfortable and that was a bit odd feeling. Your eyes slowly fluttered open before closing again, you were just too warm and comfortable to wake up yet. You tried again with a bit more success your body senses functioning now as you felt someone was next to you, someone had their arms and legs around you protectively. You wanted to react you wanted to panic but your body was still asleep, still allowing you to relax, whoever it was your instincts trusted who ever this was. This time your mind won out as you took in a breath and jerked away suddenly as it was Dean.

“What what’s wrong!” He bolted away as well somehow knowing where you kept a gun as he looked around. Even half asleep, his body reacted to protecting you before his mind caught up not seeing any danger.

“GET OUT!” You shouted at him, you did not need to be around him, it was only a matter of time before something happened and he did not need to even think about being tied down here.

“Alright, alright I’m going!” Dean said as he quickly got up and headed for the door he went to leave and you both hesitated. “Look I wasn’t trying anything funny,” He said softly as he turned and looked back at you. “You just fell asleep in a weird position in the library I couldn’t leave you like that, so brought you back here and you kinda grabbed my arm and wouldn’t let go until I stayed,” Dean sighed out looking back at you. You sat in your bed and didn’t say anything, god his scent was everywhere now, you just wanted him to come back into this bed and sleep with you properly as you shook that thought. Dean turned to leave

“Dean?!” You called out wanting to shout it but instead spoke softly.

“Yea princess?” He said. You wanted to smack him for that nickname but at the same time, you liked it.

“Do you want French toast for breakfast or brunch whatever time it is?” You said and his smile about melted all your control.

“Sure,” he smiled heading back to his room. You laid back into the sheets and instinctively moved and hugged his pillow your nose inhaling before you quickly jumped out of bed. Cold shower that’s what you needed….as well as suppressants again.

Breakfast wasn’t as awkward as you thought it would be, you two held a decent conversation about how you got started in all this madness and were pulled back in. It was simple enough you loved school so decided to try a normal life, but even in school the demons and monsters were never too far from your mind. Then you got a call your sister was missing while looking for the demon that killed your parents and that terrified you, you quit school and quickly found her and never looked back.

“It wasn’t all sunshine obviously,” You said taking the dishes and washing them. “We also learned in order to have my sister and I our parents made a deal both their souls for 18 years and two kids, my sister came 9 months later I came four years later,” You said setting the dishes back where they were. “But throughout our life they kept training us, dad would go off on weird trips, mom would stay behind show us how to shoot, what kills werewolves, demons, ghosts, you name it, it was certainly a weird education on top of all the other things we had to learn,” You paused. “Then 18 years later we both came home from school with that bastard standing over their bodies and we never looked back. I had to at least finish high school our Aunt wouldn’t let us out any other way she always knew what we were up to,” You smiled. “So yea…that’s how we started, you probably much the same somehow?” You asked. Dean nodded more or less you couldn’t really tell as he sat quietly. You nodded and headed into the library to try and do more researching.

It was maybe an hour or so you heard the TV in the small living area turn on and that was about all your self-control could take. You physically needed to be near him and besides none of these books were helpful you were just going to have to wait out the next two days. You put back two more suppressant pills before heading into the living space and plopped down on the couch next to him your knees touching.

“Anything?” He asked

“Nope so few days here then we can get you back home, not really into breaking any time rifts” You smiled. It somehow felt like a fake smile and saying the words back and home together was painful. Dean seemed to shift nervously and you both went silent just watching TV. The hours ticked by both of you just sitting watching whatever came on, and both of you knew you weren’t paying much attention to what was on as you talked. About everything, bad hunts, some sibling things, if things were different, it felt odd to talk to someone again like this. Sure, you had other hunter friends but that was all business, you couldn’t get some of them to have a decent conversation about music or cars to save their life. Even with strangers, which he still was but you opened up like it was nothing, like he had been in your life for ages now not a few days. You got up after a while to make food again. You would have to make a trip to town tomorrow, not just cause he was here but you just needed food in general, that was going to be tough.

“Decide yet?” You jumped hearing him right next to you forgetting you had someone here yet again.

“Uh…no…wait yes sorry just need to go into town tomorrow,” You said as you pulled out some meat and set about making burgers.

“Soooo does that mean I get to see your town?” he grinned grabbing a beer.

“Nope means you get to stay right here,” You grinned back. “Seriously you will be walking around like a beacon to everyone unmated it’s not the people I worry about, you can fight them off it’s who knows what creatures,” You said shaping the meat then putting it on the pan washing your hands. “Werewolf, vampire, shifters, and worst of all demons,” You added turning as you crossed your arms to look at him. “And yes I know you probably could take them but they probably work differently here-“

“Different?” Dean asked sitting at the table watching you.

“So myths tell how demons work alone why you only see one name right? I'm assuming that’s how your world works.”

“Yea that’s how it is for us there are certain groups of demons but for the most part they work alone,” Dean said

“Right well here they don’t they work in groups, moving in groups and planning in larger groups, this is why we think Alphas are going extinct these demons are purposely targeting them and eliminating them or using them for meat suits,” You said turning as you flipped the burgers over. You started grabbing a few other things from the fridge; it wouldn’t be a fancy meal but a meal. “They use it to their advantage easily preying on what omegas that are out there and that’s typically who ends up in the paper with some tragic strange accident or just vanishes,” your back was to him as you went about warming the buns.

“So….how do you fight them then?” Dean asked

“Quickly, you have to become the literal hunter take them out one at a time from the group from the shadows, barging in does no good you easily get overwhelmed. No you have to have a plan to take one out at a time and before that one falls your onto the next,” You added serving up the food. You were a bit shocked at yourself for just opening up like this but he had to stay safe. If your lives truly were paralleled then he had to get back to his brother. You had no life here, your life was simple cases close to you then hiding in this safe house, doing what you could to get by. Dating was about impossible no one else could be messed up in your life or die because of you, and you didn’t care for any of the other exorcists you worked for, better to just be alone. Dean sat quietly before he finally looked up,

“Is that how your sister died?” He asked and you about dropped your beer on the table quickly grabbing it.

“Kinda….” You said getting quiet, “She…she went on a hunt alone not super abnormal we did it time to time supposed to be an easy one…next thing I knew I get a call from a mutual saying she was hunting down her own friends. Drove as fast as I could only to see black eyes, and her laughing in my face leaving with a pack of demons. Tracking her down wasn’t fun…that took forever but she slipped up and I managed to get her but by then…she had killed too many exorcists, humans, demons you name it that thing used her abilities for its own purpose. We can’t exorcise demons nothing we have found works without killing the person,” You said suddenly not hungry in the slightest as you stood up and started to clean. “I was going to just keep her locked up forever but somehow that went to hell in a handbasket, she got out…..and well… at least it was me and not someone else at the end,” you said leaving it at that.

“Y/N I’m sorry…..” Dean sighed out

“I got her back in the end once that asshole left her but it was too late, exactly how the Demons wanted it, break us up for good, and they won here I am giant safe house just for one,” You sighed out before getting back to cleaning. You heard Dean stand you felt him moving closer to you, “Don’t…..Dean none of this has anything to do with you, yes our lives are similar but I’m sure in some other time it’s the exact same story,” You said turning as you held your arms out. “None of it is anyone’s fault, Never had the best of luck but I had her while I could we knew something was going to happen sooner or later she may have been the last alpha left so target on her back,” You added moving away from him. Dean seemed to move tracking her with his eyes, “I'm fine, right now I think it be best if we turned in,” You added heading for your room. Dean didn’t seem to get the message, “Alone….right now you are responding to more than just feeling sorry for me and that won’t end well for either of us,” You added shutting your door and locking it tight. You wanted to let him in, god knows he smelled so good right now but he had his brother to get back to, he didn’t need to slip up and be stuck here. Least of all you, you were happy alone it was just easier that way.            

Dean wanted to go into your room, he stood by the door leaning onto it staring at the all too familiar pattern, but he seemed to snap out of it as he backed away. What had just happened? One minute he was standing in the kitchen, he was angry at her story he could piece together what happened but at the same time he felt like he needed to comfort you then his body just moved for you. He couldn’t stop himself not till you closed the door, then it was like a swift slap to the face as he headed for his room, well he was heading that way but stopped at her sister’s room. All made sense now, why so much dust was in this room, you never opened it, never looked at these happy memories. You were still not over any of this having to kill your own sister. Sam could’ve very well ended up like this, had they not found those tapes. Dean stood heading into the extra storeroom digging, looking for that file and tape. He had to have pulled that whole room apart but nothing…it wasn’t here why was that erased from your story line, it didn’t make sense. Dean eventually relented heading off to his own room for sleep, didn’t mean he wasn’t thinking about it when he laid down in the bed.

You awoke early the next morning, no smell of coffee or bacon to wake you this time. Last night had been tough, one night sleeping next to someone you shouldn’t have been so attached but you were. You tossed and turned before letting exhaustion just take you in the end. You stretched your body under the warm covers before your feet touched the cold floor. Throwing on clothes, you fixed your hair and headed out into the kitchen. Quiet as could be when you entered, few papers out in the library Dean must’ve been looking for something last night. You fixed some coffee and it was you this time that started what was left of the bacon and the rest of the eggs. It didn’t take too long after the bacon was starting to cook before you heard a door open and footsteps down the hall. “Morning,” You said as you busied away with fixing breakfast. You got a small grunt from him in response as he got himself a cup of coffee and you could only smile at him. Food was done a few minutes later as you slid a plate in front of him that waking him up a bit more as he ate. You sat next to him eating your breakfast as well. It was early in the afternoon just turning noon when you started cooking and had planned it that way so hopefully not as may people would be out when you shopped. “So I only need a few things from the store just promise you won’t wander away, I know you’re not five and can take care of yourself but just trust me on this.” You sighed out looking at him, last thing you needed was to wander around town trying to find him. It wouldn’t be hard to find him but she didn’t want to have to deal with who else she would find with him.

“Scouts honor no wandering off,” Dean smiled as he stood to grab the plates but you beat him to it.

“I'm ready whenever you are so let me do this while you get what you need,” You added starting to clean everything back up again. As you finished the plates, setting them to dry Dean was ready pulling on his jacket and following after you into the garage. He almost opened the wrong door on your black car but he quickly realized it wasn’t his beloved impala and moved into the passenger’s side. You drove down a few backroads the leaves changing to their beautiful reds, yellows, and oranges on this fall day. The town was small maximum of maybe five stoplights handful of stores all owned locally but a few big named stores as well. “Not much but no one thinks to look for exorcists here,” you added pulling up to a grocery store. This one was smaller but had everything you needed, very few parking places along the road which thankfully were fairly empty. You moved to speak with Dean when he beat you to it,

“Don’t wander off stay close…got it,” Dean smirked.

“Actually I was going to ask if you wanted anything but ok,” You teased getting out of the car, as you had drilled it into him to not wander away but hadn’t asked if he needed anything.

“Oh….uhh no just beer…and pie I assume they have pie here at least?” Dean asked as his face looked like it would be crushed if they didn’t.

“We have pie Dean don’t worry about that,” You laughed at him shutting the door and walking in with him. You walked into the store and immediately what people were in here were looking at Dean a little surprised. You just grinned, he didn’t believe you,  you knew he hadn’t but now it was all coming together as you grabbed a small shopping basket and headed up and down the aisles for what you needed. Dean followed behind you saw he was at least happy to see this was normal but you did catch him looking around as a few people were starting trying to not be obvious but they were.

“Uhhhh Y/N,” Dean said slowly walking back to you as you grabbed a few cans of soup.

“Yes Dean, all omegas all following you around,” You laughed knowing exactly what he was going to ask. “I warned you, 0 alphas,” you added as you moved your hand to grab his arm and drag him with you. It was enough for the others to get he was with you in a nice way.

“So this is just weird can I just say that now?” Dean added staying close to you. “Why did god do this for this world,” he added all you could do was laugh.

“No idea only reason I got is we weren’t populating fast enough then we mutated to betas later on and now everyone else is just dying off since we are sufficiently populated,” She added as she was just about finished with what she needed and headed grabbing a six pack of beer for Dean. “Now pie….what?” You said as he was just staring at you.

“How are you not acting like them? If alphas have that big of an impact on omegas even without the weird hormone thing,” He asked as you just shook your head at him.

“Have you also forgotten I used to live with an alpha? Most have never seen one let alone one that wasn’t mated off…I donno I mean you do affect me but guess I can just have better self-control?” You said shrugging slightly.

“Oh so I do affect you?” he smirked moving in closer. You weren’t going to back away this time as you looked up at those green eyes.

“Yes I am still an omega I’m going to react to you happy? Now let’s get your pie before we get some unwanted company,” You teased shaking your head. You let him pick which one he wanted, not that you ate them often your sister was more obsessed with other baked goods than pie. Pie picked out you headed up the counter to pay Dean just grinning as he stayed closer to you than before getting in the way some as you kept backing into him. You couldn’t help but look at him humoring him as it was keeping everyone fully away now. Here anyways, you knew if he stepped foot in a bar there were far more aggressive omega types there. Groceries purchased you put them in the trunk of your car and Dean once again seemed to be attached to your hip now as he leaned against you slightly when you bent over to put them in.

“So what exactly do I do to you?” He asked finally you shutting your trunk and he was leaning with his arms crossed. God his smile was gorgeous, his green eyes looking at you mischievously. Well that reminded you of something else you forgot,

“How about you wait right here while I run back in and pick up what I forgot then I may tell you on the way back,” you added trying your best to flirt with him some too. Flirting was harmless, he was going back in a day or two so might as well enjoy what it was like to try the dating scene again.

“I…uh…yea I’ll be right here,” He grinned pulling out a pocketknife as he pulled a apple from his pocket. You couldn’t help but shake your head heading back into the store. You were gone maybe a grand total of three minutes as you came back and he was nowhere to be seen. 

“Dean? Dean if this is a joke it’s not funny,” You smiled shaking your head moving around to the back of your car. He wasn’t there, “Dean?!” You shouted out looking around, ok now you were worried but the town looked as it always had people walking up and down the streets, cars slowly moving by, nothing seemed out of place accept you panicking. You headed back to the sidewalk, maybe he went to another store? You started to walk when an apple on the ground caught your eye around the corner. You walked over, yea that was the apple Dean had in his hand, you picked it up but then dropped it. Further, down the much quieter street you saw his pocketknife. You rushed over but as you picked it up you could smell the blood before you saw it right next to his pocketknife. It was Deans.

[frop]

do all of them you mother fucker

not Once but Twice u have done this to m 

Star Platinum – Your thoughts on the stars? i always did like then when i was younger but now they just make me think of jojo so now i especially like them 

Magician’s Red – Do you know any magic tricks? no but im gonna say what u said and i can bend my fingers waay way farther than most people

Hermit Purple – Show a photo of yourself! I HAVENT taken a selfie in forever i’ll do one later 

Silver Chariot (Requiem) – How much sleep do you need on average? i would love a good 10+ but i only get that much on saturday now boo but on average its like 6-7 

The Fool – Tell us a joke! Is your refrigerator running? Because i’m gonna suck your dick

The World -  A place you want to visit? canada like you would not believe 

Crazy Diamond – What do you treasure the most? hmmmmmmm my friendships with my friends 

The Hand – Do you like your hands? nnnot particularly bc i spent a good portion of my life and still do sometimes where i bit my nails til they bleed so they dont look as nice as i’d like them to be when they grow out 

Echoes – Your favourite sound? The world’s time stop sound, but not jotaro’s version, dio’s specifically

Heaven’s Door – Share a secret! my parents’ divorce has made me scared for the future of my own relationships to the point where i can see myself not ever wanting to be in a relationship ever again bc it would be easier than my partner getting tired of me or hating me. on top of the fact that i’m almost exactly like my father and my mom’s ex fiance in every single emotional department which is what caused their divorce/breakup respectively in the first place and that leads me to believe that in the long run i am Romantically  Unlovable 

Killer Queen – How would you like to die? preferably quick and painless 

Bad Company – What kind of character trades do you dislike? any character that is like ‘waahh wah no one understands me bc i enjoy [’highly advanced’ niche series/book/etc] and they all read [popular series/book/etc] like whatever the fuck his name was in aku no hana, it got so obnoxious i had to drop it lmao 

Red Hot Chili Pepper – Can you handle spicy food? cat’s out of the bag guys im actually a Fake Mexican bc i only like mild stuff and hot chips 

The Lock – Anything you feel guilty about right now? ya but thats for another day 

Love Deluxe – Are you secretly in love with someone right now? its absolutely no secret that i am in love with jonathan joestar 

Pearl Jam – Your signature dish? i can make some mean ass rice apparently 

Achtung Baby – Do you want kids? nnnope no thanks never ever i have my cat and thats enough for me 

Harvest – Do you pick up coins in from the street? no bc u dont know where thats been and money is super dirty already 

Cinderella – Which part of your body do you like the most? dang, i guess my thighs? but lately i’ve been a lot easier on myself abt my stomach and how soft it is 

Atom Heart Father – How is your relationship with your father? pretty good bc we’re really alike in temperament too but sometimes it gets pretty awkward bc he can never see me as anything but his little baby daughter who Never Grows Up

Enigma – What is puzzling you currently? when is davidpro gonna drop the part 5 teaser 

Earth Wind and Fire – What’s the best classical element? i personally have always liked fire 

Stray Cat – Cats or dogs? i love both but man im more suited for cats 

Gold Experience – A precious experience you have not shared with your followers? oh man over this summer my dad his gf and me and my sis when on a trip to her dad’s place in this really small town that was like 3 hours away from our city and it was so nice and quiet and peaceful and i felt so clean and happy there, we were only there for a couple days but ever since i’ve really been wanting to go back

Sticky Fingers – Zippers or buttons? zippers are so much faster but they get caught sometimes so Really, pros and cons of each 

Moody Blues – A song that makes you sad? OOO man i was gonna say epitaph bc Of Course but as i was writing this down melancholy man by moody blues came up on this playlist and now im thinkin abt abba and crying 

Sex Pistols – Have you ever shot a gun or riffle? no im tiny and a weenie and i would probably die from the recoil

Aerosmith – Are you afraid of flights? ive never been on one but i am scared of heights so i cant imagine thats any better 

Purple Haze – What makes you really angry? it used to be not being listened to but now i just let it happen bc Why bother but now its more whenever my mom makes a big deal out of simple mistakes of waiters/waitresses or when shes being obviously racist 

Spice Girl – Your favourite spice? idk what its called but theres this one i like to put on fruit before i eat it to make it Spicy 

King Crimson – Is it possible to predict the future? man idk my mom says yea but who knows 

Black Sabbath – How easily do you trust people? like stupidly easy 

Man in the Mirror – Do you like looking into the mirror? nope lol im ugl. ALSO bc i have a bigger than average fear of reflective stuff in general bc what if i see somethign behind me u kno,,,, 

Beach Boy – Have you ever been fishing? nope! the one time my dad went that i knew abt i was in mexico 

The Grateful Dead – What do you want to be remembered for? honestly, anything else that being the ‘way too nice one’ or the doormat 

White Album – Your favourite CD? aaaaa i dont have one i dont really listen to albums 

Talking Head – Are you a good liar? i guess ? i can keep a pretty straight face but its harder to lie to someone i actually know really well bc they can probably tell what my tics are 

Baby Face – Your thought on babies? theyre cute but i would greatly prefer to never have any 

Metallica – Do you like listening to metal? yea

Green Day – Ideal way to spend a day off? sleep, Sleep, stream with friends and lay in bed

Oasis – Best place for a holiday? hhhhh anyplace that relaxes u tbh 

Stone Free – Are you a indoor or outdoor person? i n d o o r i dont like bugs 

Kiss – Who would you like to kiss or get a kiss from? jonathan joest

Burning Down the House – Ever destroyed something and then regretted it? nah, once again im a weenie and im too worried abt consequences to ever do smth like that

Foo Fighters – Your favourite drink? god damn i fucking love raspberry iced tea 

Diverdown – Your thoughts on diving? the ocean fills me with the fear of god. no thanks 

C-Moon – What would you do for your friend’s sake? put myself in bodly harm 

MadeinHeaven – What do you believe happens after you died? nothing tbh you just end up in a grave or urn or wherever u wanted to be put 

Weather Report – Your favourite weather? man i looove love stormy weather 

Whitesnake – Your thoughts on snakes/reptiles? i love them theyre all gorgeous and beautiful

Tusk – Tea or coffee? coffee

Ball Breaker – Your favourite ball game? to play? its basket ball but to watch baseball 

Oh! Lonesome Me – Do you feel lonely right now? no not right now but im sure it’ll happen soon 

Scary Monsters – Your favourite dinosaur? i love velociraptors and also triceratops !!

Cream Starter – Do you usually wear make up? nope and if i do its only ever lipstick

Catch the Rainbow – Your favourite colour in the rainbow? blue and green!! 

Ticket to Ride – What was the last ticket you bought for? i didnt buy it but the last one i had was for the rogue one like. 2 weeks ago

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap – Do you believe in the multiverse? i dont think abt it too often but sure

In a Silent Way – Do you enjoy complete silence? yes!! besides some music, i cant concentrate otherwise 

Soft & Wet – Shower or bath? shower bc its easier but i havent taken a bath in forever 

Paisley Park – How good are you with reading maps/directions? Terrible God Awful

Nut King Call – How good are you at assembling/constructing things like Ikea furniture? hmm it depends if i have the manual for it and if i have time to really think on it and im not in a rush or anything

Paper Moon King – Can you do any origami? nope 

King Nothing – Your favourite smell? i really like the smell of cinnamon 

BornThisWay – A strange habit you have? i crack my fingers all the damn time and i like to take off the little plastic circle off of soda bottles and chew on it 

Les Feulies – Your favourite plant? oh damn hmm i like lavenders 

Fun Fun Fun – Something you really enjoy doing? man. i could watch jojo a million times over and i’d never get bored of it 

California King Bed – What size is your bed? currently i sleep in a queen size bc my mom and sis and i share a bed bc we only had one room in our old apartment but now that we moved im sure i’ll be kicked off into a twin soon enough 

JESUS christ ok its almost midnight i hope ur happy you mother fuckre