#the hatchetfield ape man is so silly and fun

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

Ted and Lucy In The Rain

The part in The Hatchetfield Ape-Man where Konk freaks out over water falling from the sky is such a good moment because, if you stop to think about it, it would make no sense if Konk was actually real. The Hatchetfield Ape Man is an outdoor creature from Michigan of all places, he wouldn't be scared or confused by a bit of rain. At first it feels like a mistake on the Langs' part, a character oversight that just slipped through the cracks. But then the full story snaps into focus and you realize that it wasn't the Langs who messed up, but Ted. Lucy was just too blinded by her own hopes and fantasies to notice.

Great fucking writing.

[fencecollapsed]

☕️+ nightmare time episodes??

alright we're gonna do a lightning round for these, imagine me rolling up my sleeves

The Hatchetfield Ape-Man - a good silly time, nothing too special lore-wise but that doesn't mean it should be skipped, people who say it's skippable just hate fun I think /hj

Watcher World - the vibes are IMMACULATE and this story is the prime example to me of what Nightmare Time stories should be at their best - further explorations of pre-established characters and relationship dynamics

Forever & Always - I wish the clone reveal was foreshadowed better and that they hadn't cut certain details in the YouTube release, but I love droid23 so much that those minor grievances don't matter that much to me

Time Bastard - I think it's deeply funny that Ted got himself put in the torment nexus and murdered by his best friend, get wrecked Spankoffski

Jane's A Car - TOP tier Nightmare Time story, painfully underrated, a great character study of Tom. oh my dearly beloved Jane's A Car they could never make me hate you

The Witch in the Web - good introduction for Holloway and Duke, and does a good job expanding the world of Hatchetfield in a way that feels pretty natural. Hannah Foster I would burn down all of civilization to see you happy

Honey Queen - the BEST Nightmare Time story, does a phenomenal job contextualizing and exploring Linda as a character, and has genuinely my second favorite ending of the whole series it's so delightfully and horrifyingly dreadful

Perky's Buds - the fact that Emma's only solo story isn't character focused bothers me personally and I. hate the nighthawks I think they are annoying, but I've come to accept that my gripes are largely preference based and this kind of story in general just isn't my thing. I don't like it very much but it's whatever I respect it for what it is

Abstinence Camp - good and fun, it was a great intro for the main NPMD trio, almost too good to the point that I think Steph and Pete were better utilized here. Grace is at top form as always though

Daddy - I've liked this story more each time I've watched it, like I forget how funny it is every time. I really like what it does with Frank, exploring him as a more well-rounded guy than the cartoonish capitalist archetype he was in BF, it's cool it's neat

Killer Track - I love what this story does for Miss Holloway, her role in this story sold me on her as a character more than her first appearance did, it expanded her just the right amount to make her more engaging and sympathetic

Yellow Jacket - everything about the Foster sisters and Ethan makes me want to eat a brick I am sad about Hannah and Lex forever and this story is very good, I need the Orbweaver story focused on Lex right now immediately

and just in the interest of completionism I've included one for Hey Melissa under the cut for anyone who wants to count that one

Hey Melissa - great concept, dogshit execution. I'm a little obsessed with this story because I don't like it but I think it could've been really good if they'd just done another draft or two. as is I think it relies too heavily on the shock value to succeed at being an actually good story, but y'know, it was cut for a reason, I've mostly made my peace with it. mostly.

[sewers-headmates]

Caaannnn I request... a TGWDLM Ted perchance?

feel free to ignore my shipping undertones >;3 but i hope you enjoy the big man

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Info

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Name: Theodore

Nicknames: Ted, Teddy, Teddy Bear

Last Name: Spankoffski

Age: 35

Pronouns: he/him

Height: 6’0

Zodiac: leo

Species: human

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Labels

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Gender: cis male

Sexual Orientation: pansexual

Romantic Orientation: panromantic

Mono, Ambi, Poly: poly

cisIDs: OLD, hypersexual, older brother, brown hair, facial hair, autistic, social, BPD

transIDs: permaBastard, permaCollared, transOwned, permaHorny, transObsessive, transBipoalr

Paraphiles: sadomasochist, agonophilia, timophilia, traumaphilia

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System Info

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Roles: sexual protector, social protector, caretaker

Source: hatchetfield (Time Bastard, TGWDLM, Hatchetfield Ape Man, Forever & Always, Abstinance Camp, Daddy, Hey Melissa!)

Notable Source Memories/Details:

- has definitely slept with everyone in the office AT LEAST once

- genuinely terrified of emotional connection

- parents skipped out on him after Pete was born so he kinda became Pete’s guardian and (questionable) parent figure

- also the unofficial brother figure for Ruth and Richie (did not stop them from annoyingly having a crush on him, which he dislikes)

- has a complex relationship with Tinky

Front Triggers: his brother, general source stuff, Tinky, goats in general

Sign Offs: -🧡🐐, -🔸, -☕️

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Personality

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Summery: Ted is a horny bastard as described by everyone around him and for the most part he’s true to this description with the exception of when he has to be responsible for Pete. For his little brother’s good he can act mature and serious. He’s silly immature man-whore with big soft spot for his brother and his brother’s loser friends.

Likes: sex, his brother, being seen as cool

Dislikes: actually doing work, responsibility, stress in general

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Fun Extras

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Typing Quirk: none

Playlist: not mine, 3h27m

Opinion Stances: he likes discorse more then actually having an opinion, though he is pretty much pro anything

Appearance:

Aesthetic:

raaaah hope you enjoy him! i love Ted so much

-mod richie

[hatchetfieldtheories]

I keep considering what I think might happen in Nightmare Time 2, but everytime I do I think back to how unprepared we were for literally all of NMT1.

Like, at this point I have no idea, and thinking about how utterly bizarre Chumby, Android Emma and Clone Paul were - I'm now hedging my bets that a "ridiculous theory" is gonna come true.

Therefore I've picked some of my faves (which was difficult they're all so fun) and I present -

Tazzy's Totally Real and Not at all Silly NMT2 Predictions:

Unicorns roam Hatchetfield at night

Mr Davidson is just Sam in disguise

Ethan is a cyborg sent to spy on the Fosters

Peanuts is a spy for Wiggly

The Hatchetfield Ape Man is Nibbly