#the last jedi spoilers for ts

[janiedean]

my cousin and aunt come back from seeing tlj, a greatest hits

premise: last year while her brother was waxing poetical about *kylo ren being gay and in the closet*, the thirteen-yo cousin (then twelve) goes like ‘are you srs kylo ren is in love with rey!!!’.

now: she and my aunt went to see the movie, he still hasn’t seen it so no idea of his opinion. with that I have to share this because lmao it’s hilarious.

part one: on the car

me: so, how did you like it? cousin: DSGJLDSJGKLDSJG *SCREAMS* MY SHIP!!!! aunt, rolling her eyes: no, because *she ships ben and rey* *INSERT LONG SUFFERING SIGH* me: hmmm, and you? aunt: rey’s definitely getting with poe, they were so cute at the end! cousin: NO! THAT WAS A TRAVESTY! AND ANYWAY POE IS GAY! me: I wish, but anyway I think cousin’s right cousin: HAVE YOU SEEN *THE HANDS*????

part two: still on the car

aunt: and anyway what’s with these movies, there’s always some dude with rage issues who needs a woman to keep him sane AND I’M ALSO TALKING ABOUT KYLO REN cousin: HEY DON’T GO THERE, HE HAS ABANDONMENT ISSUES!!! *insert long rant where aunt tries to convince me han solo was Not A Good Crush To Have Because Age Gap Between Harrison Ford And Carrie Fisher and I ignore the shit out of it and cousin goes like ‘I don’t like old men’ and I go like ‘just you wait’*

part three: on the elevator

cousin: *moves her hand against my aunt’s* aunt: what cousin: THAT HAND SCENE! me: are you dying inside because you’re the only one whose heart exploded at that point? cousin: YES! THE HANDS! OH MY GOD THE HANDS! EVERYONE ELSE IN THE CINEMA LOOKED NEUTRAL AND I WAS DYING INSIDEEE male cousin: DON’T SPOIL ME

part four: at home

cousin: *looks adam driver up* WHAT IS HE 34????? me: told you he was *old* muahahahahaha cousin: .... NOOOOO HE’S MARRIED NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *LOOKS HEARTBROKEN* me: hey oscar isaac has a kid I’m worse off than you are cousin: oscar isaac is ugly me: NO ONE CALLS OSCAR ISAAC UGLY IN MY PRESENCE cousin: *keeps on staring at a picture of adam driver on her phone* [LITERAL TRANSLATION] baby, your nose is kind of ugly but it’s okay, my mom’s nose is also kind of ugly and it’s not your fault *caresses phone*

cousin: OH MY GOD THE DIRECTOR SAYS THERE WAS A MEANING TO THE SHIRTLESS SCENE aunt: yeah, aesthetics me: actually no male cousin: *is sent away so we don’t spoil him* cousin: so? so? SO? me: er, he basically said it was there because he wanted sorta romantic tension and she had to feel uncomfortably attracted to him so he had him shirtless cousin: *LETS OUT A SCREAM THAT ABOUT PIERCED MY EARS* OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU IT’S CANON!! SEE?? SEE?? SEE? SEE????!!!!!!!!’

the aunt is still not convinced and she’s still saying poe is ending up with rey meanwhile I’m cackling over sfm I can’t even and I’m wondering what tumblr dot com would make of my cousin’s shipping tastes BUT NEVER MIND THAT

anyway here we go I figured someone here might find it funny so I’m sharing lmao

[thelegendofclarke]

Jaqen: You need a teacher. I can't teach you.

Arya: Why not?

Arya: I've seen your daily routine; you are NOT busy.

[notbecauseofvictories]

Can you tell us more about Rose Tico: Unconventional Diplomat?

[con’t from here]

Rose fidgets with the sleeve of her robes en route to Naboo, so much that the hem frays under her fingers. Just a few stray green threads, unraveling from the neat stitching and tickling her wrist, especially when she crooks her hands. Rose hardly notices—it’s not the first time she’s worn second-hand anything; her usual jacket has so many patched holes Paige had joked it could double as a rutaanil strainer. (Rose shuts her eyes, and thinks of Paige sitting beside her on the transport; Paige  with her legs splayed, looping her arm carelessly over Rose’s shoulders; her sharp chin jutting out and her necklace catching the overhead lights. C’mon, em gái, she’d laugh. I’d like to see any of these assholes repair a calcinator, their fancy sleeves would catch fire.

This image comforts Rose, and with her eyes shut, she smiles.)

Still, when she bows before the Queen of Naboo, all Rose can think about is her fraying sleeve, the tangle of green threads at her wrist. She wonders if everyone can see it—if that’s what they’re whispering about, all the ambassadors and diplomats with their painted-pale faces. Or maybe they’re whispering about her, the hairstyle she’d hastily done and redone aboard the transport, the callouses and electrical burn marks at her fingers and palms. Rose thinks of General Organa and tries to channel that same effortless command, elegance, but her robes are fraying and her hair is falling out of the careful braid and maybe she should have insisted it be General Organa. Maybe she should have refused.

I’m a mechanic, she wants to blurt out, though the Prime Minister of Naboo is speaking now, and it would be worse to interrupt him. I’m just a mechanic, I don’t know…

“The Resistance begs your aid,” Rose says quickly, once there is a pointed silence. She’s not sure if she was meant to speak just then, because the Prime Minister’s mouth thins with disapproval and the Queen’s expression remains still and unreadable as stone. “I hope that, in time, we may come to an agreement,” she adds, desperately.

The Queen of Naboo nods as though she’s a marble sculpture, grudgingly; as though even bending her neck requires tremendous work and she isn’t sure Rose or the Resistance merit such effort. Rose bites her lip and burns with embarrassment.

A courier whisks her from the chambers soon after, and guides her to a luxurious suite full of beautiful things. “The Queen wishes you to be comfortable,” he says briskly, and then he’s gone.

Rose pictures Paige in the room, picking up the pretty baubles and scowling—or maybe just bemused, her mouth a crooked line between amusement and annoyance. What the hells is this trash? Does a queen really think people can be bought with pretty glass and soft sheets?

“They are soft sheets,” Rose murmurs. She’s lying back on them still in her robes, wondering whether she should contact General Organa and ask for an extraction—she’s the wrong person for this, for how important this is. She’s just a mechanic. She’s—

Rose, Paige says, and Rose can shut her eyes and picture her face. That fierce sincerity, the look that usually meant it was one-hundred hours and Paige was mostly-drunk. She always got like that, after she’d been drinking. Rose, don’t let them make you smaller, or meaner, or harder than you are. Don’t let them think you’re any less than them, just because—

“Because we came from nowhere and nothing,” Rose breathes. The familiar refrain. 

“After all, that’s where heroes come from,” Rose murmurs, in time with the vision of her sister. Paige grins, and shifts forward to kiss Rose on the forehead. Never forget it, she says, and Rose swallows. Opens her eyes.

She’s alone, in the room.

.

0.327-alpha galactic standard.

TICO, ROSE: No progress to report. 

.

After the first day of negotiations, Rose comes back and carefully does not break every object in her lovely room, which is full of glass and stone and sunlight glittering off the nearby water. She does sit on the edge of the bed with her hands carefully folded in her lap, and thinks very hard about breaking all the lovely, delicate things, and the satisfying crunch some would make under her work boots. (She packed them, her boots. Just in case.)

She does drop a plate that evening at dinner. Accidentally.

The Queen of Naboo does not even in look in her direction.

.

17.327-regal galactic standard.

TICO, ROSE: No progress to report.

.

In truth, Rose had protested when General Organa had suggested she assume the role of diplomat. “I—I’m sorry?” she’d said, when the General suggested it. “I’m not….I don’t think I understand.”

It’d taken four different people, only two of which were Finn, to explain the scope of the mission, and get her to accept. “Every report of your conduct has suggested that you are charming, capable, and cool under pressure,” General Organa had said , though Rose had quietly and hysterically thought she was not cool under this specific pressure and also what in all hells. “These are invaluable qualities in a diplomat.”

“I’m a mechanic,” Rose answered weakly, but no one seemed to hear. She’d had a few weeks of preparation, and then they’d put her on the first transport to Naboo.

And that was that.

.

I miss you, Rose transmits over however long a terrible distance between her and Finn. Their exact locations been withheld from the other, citing security concerns. The Resistance is small and each sentient still swearing loyalty to it is precious, they cannot afford to bargain such things on lax security standards.

Still.

I wish I were there, she writes. I wish you were here. I wish I had someone—

Sometimes, she gets message delivery error notices, and she stares at them so long her eyes blur.

Rose goes to bed early those nights.

.

The Queen of Naboo is busy with domestic administrative duties, so Rose goes down to the stables as a way of distracting her from the monotony of her rooms. (She’s found six puzzleboxes and three hidden passageways and she’s bored, she can’t be surrounded by pretty and useless things anymore or she’ll start smashing them. Even writing back to Finn—whose last transmit was almost entirely black-censored, due to classified information—can’t stave off the boredom.)

Naboo doesn’t have stables of fathiers, the way Canto Bight did; they’re a waterlogged planet, and so their pets and beasts are aquatic. Still, Rose can’t help grinning as she dips her hand in the broad pool and the creatures—she’s not sure what they’re called, but they’re smooth and funny to touch, ticklish—lap at her fingers. The skinny ones twine around her wrists and mouth at her skin, and she giggles.

She names the spotted, aggressive creature twice her size ‘Rey’ because it seems to fit, the serious, hard-headed Jedi. There’s a smaller, thin animal that darts close and then away, and she calls that one ‘Finn’ because its scales are so bright and its mouth seems to smile. The prettiest one is ‘Poe’ obviously, since even Paige had been in love with Poe, because everyone is in love with Dameron, Rose, even if we don’t prefer male humans overall.

Rose is trying to coax out the dark-scaled, uncertain creature hiding in the rocks when a strange voice startles her:

“They like you.”

Rose forces herself to stay still, since she has Organa—a dark-grey, huge creature—wound around her hand. The creature is humming, just below the threshold of human hearing, and Rose isn’t interesting in disturbing her. “I like them,” she says simply.

The woman comes to sit beside her on the edge of the tank, and Rose vaguely recognizes her from all the many conferences. A handmaiden, or some sort of representative; maybe a duchess. Even General Organa’s knowledge of Naboo internal politics was shaky. They knew that the Queen had handmaidens, and often these were nobility unto themselves, but that was all.

“You’re the ambassador of the Resistance,” the strange woman says, and Rose half-shrugs. 

“I suppose.”

“You don’t seem certain about that. Don’t you know who you represent?”

Rose smiles. She shakes off the Organa-creature, and straightens up, meeting the handmaiden-or-duchess in the eye. “A week ago, I was a mechanic. Diplomacy is…not exactly where I saw myself going.”

“Hm,” the woman says, noncommittally. Rose watches as she rolls up her sleeve, and dangles her hand in the water. The Poe-creature immediately swims up to the surface, and buts against the strange woman’s hand, trilling in a way that’s almost-audible, just enough to give Rose a low grade headache.

(Sometimes when she comes, the creatures are singing, just below the frequency of human hearing; Rose likes to lie down then, and grit her teeth and think of Paige, and Finn, and telling the both of them about the songs of these nameless creatures, which she could feel through her skin.)

“What are they called?” Rose asks, watching. “I’ve been trying to figure it out for days, but searching the holonet…”

“They’re called ildeni,” the girl says, and her absent smile is nice. Rose thinks in another sort of galaxy, they might be friends, and the thought is reassuring. “Or Naboo rays, as they’re known on other worlds. Usually, they’re very picky about who they like, I’m impressed they’re so attached to you.”

Rose blushes. “You’re the only one, then,” she mutters, staring down into the deep pool to avoid looking at the woman, her round face. She has dark, fine eyes and Rose likes them; just as Rose likes her hand as it stroksd through the water, with it’s long dark fingers.

“You don’t think you made an impression on the queen?” the handmaiden asks.

“I have no way of knowing,” Rose says, as gently as she can. (She’s gotten good at this, at saying ugly things in a beautiful way. Not to alienate—) “But right now, we’re just…circling one another. I’ve seen enough negotiations between the First Order and the mining federation to know the difference.”

The woman glances at Rose. “You worked for the mining federation?”

“I served drinks to the mining federation,” Rose says sharply. She can’t quite keep the scorn out of her voice. “There’s a difference.”

Rose can feel her—the stranger, with her lovely skin, and her dark fingers, and her smile—looking. Still, Rose turns, and meets her gaze when the stranger says, “My name is Aldoré. I am a handmaiden to the Queen.”

“Rose Tico, ambassador to the Resistance,” Rose says. They shake hands, and both of their palms and fingers are wet with saltwater. “Pleasure to meet you.”

They go walking in the palace gardens, after. Rose finds herself explaining about Finn, and Poe, and Rey, and Paige, and the Resistance, and light—even Light, which was better and higher and different, somehow. About growing up hungry and angry and how nothing would feed them except revolt, and nothing would clothe them except resistance, and even then, Rose missed her sister. Sometimes sacrifice was just—it was just horror, and grief. Even if you believed in what you were fighting for. 

Aldoré listens, and she takes Rose’s arm, and they clutch one another in the gathering dusk. Aldoré says, “I grieve for your loss,” and Rose says, “Thank you,” and they are there, with the smell of the sea all around them and on their hands, and Rose thinks of Paige standing beside her, thinks of Paige saying, don’t be afraid, here I am, here I will always be.

Aldoré is beautiful, in the dusk; dark as the wrong side of the moon and lovely. Rose asks her if she’ll be at the queen’s dinner that night, and Aldoré shakes her head. “No, I’m sorry,” she says. “I have business to attend to.”

Dinner that night is stilted, quiet. Rose does not know what to say, and settles for saying nothing.  

.

The next day, Rose receives a missive from the Queen of Naboo. Come, it says. We have much to discuss.

Rose barely sleeps that night.

.

43.39-aris galactic standard.

TICO, ROSE: Tentative progress. Request authority to negotiate terms of support.

ORGANA, LEIA: Granted. 

.

Rose wears the same green robes, and when she bows before the throne, she knows that the Queen of Naboo sees the fraying threads at her sleeve. Mostly because the Queen of Naboo comes down from her throne and takes Rose’s hands, holds them up to her breast.

“I think,” Aldoré—or the Queen of Naboo, Rose still isn’t sure which except that she’s smiling the way the Queen of Naboo never did, her scarlet-painted mouth curling up at the corners—says, “that we have been remiss. We have been cruelly negligent.”

“Oh?” Rose asks faintly. Beneath the pale death’s mask of makeup, she can trace the outline of brown and laughing Aldoré, and she’s not sure how to think about that except hope fiercely that it somehow works out.

“Yes,” the Queen says. “After all, it was a Queen of Naboo who lit the ember of Rebellion. It seems only just that Naboo keep it burning. Kneel, Ambassador Tico.”

Rose wobbles to her knees in a borrowed, fraying green robe. Beside her, she can feel Paige, bright and whispering, look at that, little sister, look at this; nothing and nowhere and no one and here you are. what did we say about heroes?

Rose Tico goes to her knees a mechanic, pressed into service as an ambassador because there was no one else and she was kind, maybe kinder than the rest.

Rose Tico rises up again to her feet wearing shimmering green, the color of hope, and leading an army.

[astrographic]

*licks painting* salt

[hauntedfalcon]

The Pieces

1363 words of OT4 fluff, also on AO3. I take prompts! 

“Is that her?”

Finn looks up from the vitals readout to find Rose awake. He follows her gaze, and can’t hold back his smile. “Yeah.”

Rose’s answering smile is weak, but genuine. “She’s really pretty.”

He shrugs. “She’s okay.” Rose reaches out from under her blanket and shoves his shoulder, and Finn grins.

“So what’s my damage?”

Finn stifles an entire series of possible responses. “Your ribs are toast and you cracked both tibias. Bone stabilizer’s doing its job. Just give it a few more hours and you should be able to walk and take a normal breath.”

Rose presses his hand. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

She chases his gaze down. “I’m going to mention it a lot. Not everybody gets to say Finn saved their life.”

Finn’s face burns. “I owed you one.”

“Actually I owed you one from when I stunned you, so I was making up for that.”

He holds up both hands in surrender. “Okay, all right. You owe me one.”

Rose nods, satisfied, and already drifting off again. “Damn right.”

Finn sits back against the side of her bunk, watching the rebels in the cabin. Morale is surprisingly high; there is a round of dejarik in progress and an actual sabacc game in another corner, and Connix has found a small liquor stash and initiated the rationing process. It feels more like an evening in the barracks than the aftermath of a devastating battle.

He hasn’t asked where they’re all going. Does it matter? They can chase Leia’s distress signal to all its destinations, confront the people who didn’t come to them, maybe guilt them into support, but is there any more point to that than to starting fresh somewhere else?

He pinches the spot between his eyes. This is not the hour to obsess. For right now, for long enough to rest, they are going to be okay. He wills his tension to ease, matches the pace of his breathing to Rose’s, and rests.

- - -

“Could I have a look at that?”

The woman takes her eyes off the broken device in her hands, and regards Rose seriously. A heartbeat later, without a word, she hands over the two pieces. Rose adjusts her hold on the blanket over her shoulders and takes them, then sits with effort in the empty space beside Rey. She can feel Finn watching her, watching both of them.

She uncouples the grip. “Power cell is blown,” she reports, which is nothing the other woman doesn’t know. “But the kyber crystal is intact and stable, and we can cook up new focusing gems. Some pipe for the chassis; this ship’s got to have some systems we can bypass. It won’t be good as new, but--”

“I’m not sure I want to rebuild it,” says Rey.

And part of Rose recoils at the thought of good components going to waste, but another part, maybe the greater part, understands. She hands back the pieces. “I’m Rose.”

“I know,” says Rey--Finn must have told her everything while Rose was out--and she smiles.

A gorgeous, blinding smile. Wow.

Oh no.

- - -

The third time Poe falls asleep in one of the Falcon’s second row cockpit chairs, Leia takes pity. “There’s extra crash foam in a floor compartment in the cargo hold.”

Poe blinks at her, then at the ship’s controls and the shattered spectrum of hyperspace, in search of anything at all he could be doing that’s useful. He finds only a Wookiee who is willing to physically escort him to the cargo hold, and the knowing gaze of a woman who is determined, here at the start of the end, to do right by every living person on this ship.

So is Poe, and that will mean looking after himself as well. He nods and goes.

In the main cabin most of the rebels doze in uncomfortable positions. Finn leans against the bulkhead by the medical bunk, arms crossed against a pervading chill despite all the bodies nearby, eyes open and focused on nothing. Poe nudges him. Come with me? he mouths, and tilts his head toward the ladder down.

Finn pushes away from the wall without hesitation.

The crash foam is meant to pad shipping containers with fragile goods, not human bodies, and it smells of stale glitterstim. It is the best thing Poe has experienced in… however long it’s been since Finn arrived on D’Qar. He groans, stretching out, and looks up at Finn. “How you been, buddy?”

Finn stares at him, and then laughs silently, and gets on the pad. “It’s been a weird day.”

“Yeah,” Poe says, offering his arm as a pillow, which Finn accepts. “Yeah.” He isn’t sure he can switch off, not really, from the endless mental cataloguing of what they have, rearranging their collection of one ship and fourteen officers into a configuration that will only ever be a sum of parts, and never the whole, because what they have is all of that but also brains, the best strategic minds in the galaxy, and if they can just get out from under the unfathomable losses and unspeakable fatigue, they can think their way to a solution in no time. But first, somehow, they all have to sleep.

“Can I join you?”

He didn’t even hear footsteps on the ladder. Of course he didn’t. She probably floated down.

Finn turns over, looks back at Poe, pretends to think it over. “It’s very cold,” Rey says.

They scoot. Poe’s hand is under Finn’s cheek now, hardly any use as a pillow but he can’t complain, and Rey gets into the space between them, and it’s been maybe three hours since they formally introduced themselves but all Poe feels, and all that is in Rey’s eyes, is absolute trust.

That’s the other thing they have now, and Poe holds onto it as he starts to unmoor from the waking world. Trust like that is exactly what they’ll need in the fight that’s coming.

“Oh.”

Poe opens his eyes. “You left the pieces up in the cabin,” says Rose, holding something in her fist. “I thought, uh, well. I can’t drill kyber, not without blowing us all up probably, but I had some wire and I found some light tether line in a supply cabinet.” She fidgets and, haltingly, opens her hand.

Rey sits up.

“If you don’t like it,” Rose goes on, “you can use it in your next lightsaber instead. Or get rid of it or some--”

“I love it,” Rey says, and Rose’s shoulders drop instantly. She hands Rey the crystal, wrapped with a hastily stripped patch wire, and slips the loop of tether line over her head. Poe lifts his head enough to see the shard of crystal sitting just below her collarbone. It suits her. “Come here?” Rey offers.

Rose stiffens again, a little. “You just want my blanket.”

“That’s true,” says Finn, and Poe makes agreeing noises, and Rose clutches the thermal foil a little tighter, but Rey just keeps smiling disarmingly up at her until she comes over.

“My ribs still hurt,” she warns.

“Won’t squeeze you,” says Poe, shutting his eyes again. Soon Rey’s back is against him and he shifts to rest his face at the nape of her neck. Finn moves farther away and that’s a really sad thing, but his hand comes to rest in Poe’s instead, and Rose sets her cheek against Poe’s forearm and he ends up with about a half-meter corner of thermal foil over his hip, reflecting the warmth of all of them together.

Rose says, “So, how did you guys meet?”

Finn says, “Rose, we’re doing sleeping now,” and there is a brief scuffle and the feel of Finn’s breathy laugh against Poe’s hand.

Working against sleep, Poe says, “Did we leave anyone else who loves us upstairs?”

A grappling hook clanks on the ladder. BB-8 warbles as they descend. Rey shakes with laughter.

There’s no room left on the foam, but all the little droid wants is to be close to them, and Poe understands completely. He drifts into a warm and pleasant darkness, holding many people he would like to save.

[feyestwords-blog]

lol so i made a post (on my other blog) about how now that i know that they’re not related, i’m all aboard the reylo hype train (because apparently incest is where i draw the line)

and someone i know IRL reblogged it and added this whole little rant about how they’re disgusted at how many more people are into this now, it’s so manipulative and abusive and unhealthy and nobody should support it

meanwhile i’m over here sipping my hannigram tea like bitch you don’t know the meaning of unhealthy 

[kingofattolia]

a list of things about Star Wars: The Last Jedi

TLJ felt like watching two completely separate movies. .. .  one i deliriously LOVED and one i spit upon and shake its profane dust off my sandals

THE GOOD

“ive got an urgent message for General Hux” “YOUR REBELLION IS DOOMED” “yeah... im holding for General Hux”

it straight up took me a minute and a half of this scene to figure out this was actually the start of the movie. it felt like one of those pre-movie skits where it seems like a movie but then anthropomorphic M&Ms tell you to turn your cell phone off. was it just me or were there a LOT more comic moments in TLJ compared to almost every other star wars movie? anyway i loved it even tho it gave the movie a slight someone-made-this-while-high-on-LSD feel 

Leia USING THE FORCE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

R2 playing Luke the “you’re my only hope” recording of Leia, i almost died

FORCE SHENANIGANS. we saw more powerful, dramatic, and varied uses of the Force in TLJ than we have ever before seen in a live action media and i was L I V I N G

“you’ve closed yourself off from the Force”

Rey and Kylo’s foRCE BOND TALKING like this.. . . is so interesting .. .  and it wasn’t only Snoke doing it because they did it again after he’s dead...

Rey lifting 30 giant fricken boulders without even breaking a sweat after having one (1) single “training” session

Kylo remotely activating Anakins lightsaber

projecting himself........ across the entire galaxy. . ..

Yoda. in the former EU the Force ghosts had a non-negotiable expiration date a certain time after their deaths. Obi-Wan couldnt just come back and visit Luke forever, he faded away at some point. is this no longer true??? DOES THIS MEAN ANYONE CAN COME BACK IF THEY WANT??? why was yoda so physical even as a ghost that he could whack luke on the head

summoning lightning like alright this is a new Jedi power im adding to my arsenal

Leia’s mary poppins action

Luke vaulting across the cliff to stab fish

POE'S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT he turned from a kamikaze into a leader who's able to see the big picture and walk away, im so proud

everyone..... messing with Hux...... i loved this

Snoke smacking him into the floor

Kylo smacking him into the wall

Kylo force choking him

slowly taking gun out. . . . . HES AWAKE ABORT ABORT... slowly putting gun back . . . Hux is going spend every waking moment wishing he took that shot

Finn's character arc, like what an awesome Slytherin. the contrast between him and the codebreaker 👌👌👌👌 & where he makes the choice REBEL scum 👌👌👌

LET'S GO, CHROME DOME

i cant believe Phasma died again lol. her backstory novel was SO DRAMATIC and she just dies over and over

when Kylo does that little skid out into the hallway to look for Rey

Chewy breaking down Luke's door

when Luke kisses Leia on the forehead . . . .

kylo KILLING SNOKE I AM LITERALLY SO HAPPY. I AM SO HAPPY. IM SO

this had to happen, it was so obvious but i didnt think they would actually do it, Snoke was so boring and useless, i am SO GLAD they didnt drag him out..... I AM SO HAPPY HES DEAD

it was truly awesome... i couldnt stop grinning it seeing it the 2nd time... "I CANNOT BE BETRAYED, I CANNOT BE BEATEN, I CAN SEE HIS MIND" & then he narrates the entire process of Kylo killing him i was LIVING. everyone theorized for so loooooong and so hard about what form Snoke's control over Kylo took and how it would be possible for him to break it,, , , and then he just DOES IT JUST LIKE THAT by SHEER MISDIRECTION FOLKS I AM SO ALIVE

THE TEAM UP FIGHT

i love lightsaber fights so much i would very nearly give up my critical integrity for a single awesome duel and this was,,, so awesome

when Rey drops her lightsaber to catch it again and cut that guys knees out from under him

when Snoke is cut in half and then the lightsaber rockets towards Kylo and Rey's hand SHOOTS INTO THE FRAME to catch it 👌👌👌

when Kylo takes on FOUR OF THEM AT ONCE

"THE SUPREME LEADER IS DEAD" "long live. . . the supreme leader .. "

not gonna lie, i am such a huge fan of supreme leader!Kylo. CAN HE EVEN LEAD ANYONE??? DOES HE HAVE THE CAPABILITY?? HONESTLY WHAT DOES HE WANT TO DO? WHAT WILL HIS SELF-DIRECTED MISSION BE? VADER NEVER GOT TO BE ANYTHING BUT AN ATTACK DOG, WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING TO HAPPEN

I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA BUT IM SO HYPE TO FIND OUT

THIS IS BRAND NEW

"finn! rose! you're not dead! where's my droid"

the little slave kids from Canto Bight. did the kid at the end use the Force to pull his broom!??!

"that library did not contain anything the girl Rey does not already possess" Yoda thinks hes so funny. REY STOLE THE LIBRARY LMAO... thanks Rey... im glad someone around here has a brain...

the Falcon swooping in to draw off the TIEs on Crait

"OH, THEY HATE THAT SHIP"

Vice Admiral Holdo's lightspeed kamikaze. . . aside from the drama of the moment & making Hux look stupid, just visually it was awesome

absolutely every single thing said by either Hux or Kylo in Kylo's command shuttle above Crait

"i want every gun we have to fire on that man"

"blow that PIECE OF JUNK oUT OF THE SKY"

when kylo's like "concentrate all fire on the speeders" and then Hux immediately shrieks "CONCENTRATE ALL FIRE ON THE SPEEDERS" and Kylo looks at him like 🤔

"do you think you got him?"

when Luke faces Kylo

WHEN LUKE FACES KYLO

this scene makes the movie for me honestly. as of now im in a state of uneasy ceasefire with TLJ and the sequel trilogy as a whole. if the scene of Luke facing Kylo did not exist, TLJ would probably be dead to me

"did you come to SAVE MY SOUL" "no."

absolutely everything about Luke was so completely epic in this scene. even though he barely said anything, even the way he stood was epic. im not sure how Hamill did this but it was everything i ever wanted

"i failed you, Ben. I'm sorry." "i'm sURE YOU ARE"

the contrast between Kylo's fighting stance and Luke's

when Luke steps out from the massive cloud and duSTS OFF HIS SHOULDER

this fills me with so much pure glee i could literally ascend

"if you strike me down in anger, i'll always be with you. like your father."

the slow, dawning horror when Kylo starts realizing Luke's not actually there

"see you around, kid"

"SEE YOU AROUND, KID"

"SEE YOU AROUND, KID"

my favorite line in the WHOLE THING i could Scream

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH

"SEE YOU AROUND, KID"

when Rey slams the door in Kylo's face

THE BAD

Luke should have LIFTED HIS X WING OUT OF THE WATER WITH THE FORCE AT SOME POINT GOSH DARN. i knew from the moment we saw the submerged x wing that this moment was meant to happen.... but then it DIDN’T. like PLEASE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD I NEED TO SEE THIS

the casino subplot. . .  it was awesome for Finns character development but couldn’t he have developed character over an actually materially relevant story arc.. . .

BB-8 didn’t fight Dark BB-8 like what the hell honestly

for what earthly reason does Kylo need to wear his pants up to his armpits. is he TRYING to look like a doofus

why wasn't Lando the master codebreaker. like quite frankly, give me one good reason. why. no. there are no good reasons. when is Lando going to come into it you cowards

honestly....... what the FRICK was that horrible backstory behind what caused Kylo to turn

WHAT THE FRICK

im trying to keep my cool but this is a huge, enormous, and vital problem i have with this movie and whoever came up with that should be shot

Luke, in a brief moment of insanity, ignited his lightsaber over his sleeping nephew's bed to assassinate him because of a vision

LUKE SKYWALKER the guy who wouldnt believe that DARTH VADER, ENSLAVER OF WORLDS, SLAUGHTERER OF CHILDREN, MASS MURDERER OF THOUSANDS, was a lost cause and who refused to kill him, TRIED TO KILL HIS APPRENTICE IN HIS SLEEP

like... do you see my problem?

character assassination. it is ludicrously greater-than-Anakin Skywalker levels of overreaction to a Force premonition that Luke would see a vision of darkness and instantly move to slice his sleeping, defenseless nephew in half, and even in Luke's version of the story Luke is legitimatly the bad guy. he brought about the future he was afraid of, just like Anakin

because of this background, every interpretation is blown wide open to reasonably see Kylo as the victim and Luke's actions as those of a villain. of course he had to defend himself? it's legitimately possible to construe the subsequent killing of the other students as self-defense as well. if they wake up to find Ben having "killed" Luke? anything could have happened, Kylo could honestly have done barely anything bad up to this point and have been driven to the dark side on that one night

it's going to take.... so much work.... to walk this back. obviously Kylo's a villain now, because of what he's chosen to do since then, but for Luke to come out of this not looking like trash, they would have to provide SO MUCH more backstory including the "dark" things Kylo had done to make Luke suspect him, and have him probably be actively seeking darkness while under Luke's tutelage. and then Luke still seems like a fool and a betrayor

maybe they WANT Luke to come off as a legitimately bad person? i've seen some interpretations of TLJ as tearing down "legends" by showing everyone as flawed people, teaching the lesson of not deifying people to Rey AND the audience as well. if thats true and they actually want me to believe Luke is not worth believing in, i'm sorry but i reject that

luke skywalker is not a bad person

rey said "you didnt fail Kylo, Kylo failed you" WHICH... its true that Kylo failed in all his actions after this. but if this is the unmitigated truth about what happened that day, Luke definitely failed Kylo, thats not really arguable

i spit this backstory out of my mouth and stomp on it

bye felicia

"the legacy of the jedi is failure and hypocrisy. at the height of their power they allowed darth sidious to come to power and wipe them out" ok true. "it was a jedi master who was responsible for the training and creation of darth vader" YOU TAKE THAT BACK

a related point..... Luke is a coward.

i'm not saying that the only kind of Luke i would accept is HEROIC LEGEND LUKE WHO BURSTS FORTH FROM HIS ISOLATION AND SINGLE HANDEDLY DEVASTATES THE FIRST ORDER. but at the same time, his isolation is NOT in any way comparable to Obi-Wan's. "i came here to die" ok buddy.

dying is all well and good, hiding from your failures, being broken for a while after taking a hit like that

what i am NOT able to forgive is how he abandoned Leia

???? the frick???

"so many losses, i can't take any more" "sure you can" STORY OF LEIA'S LIFE

"im from the resistance, your sister Leia sent me" boy when she says jump you better say "how high?" honestly YOU OWE IT AT LEAST TO YOUR GUILT TO DO THAT FOR HER

HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE? SHE'S ON HER OWN DEALING WITH EVERY PROBLEM IN THE WHOLE GALAXY AND HE'S DOING WHAT? YOU'RE TELLING ME LUKE WOULD HAVE ABANDONED HIS SISTER LIKE THAT??? AND WHEN SHE SPECIFICALLY ASKS FOR HIM HE SAYS "no frick u" ?!?!?

if that's Luke Skywalker then Luke Skywalker is a useless coward

that is not Luke Skywalker

honestly everything Rey said was spot on "Leia sent me here with hope. if she's wrong then she deserves to know why. we all do"

the overall thesis of the sequel trilogy seems to be "there's no point to any of this"

a powerful student turns to the dark side and destroys the Jedi Order. an authoritarian regime destroys the republic and takes over. a small band of resistance fighters rallies against great odds. a Force sensitive from a desert planet teaches herself the Force from old Jedi books after her teacher evaporates into the Force after teaching like 1 lesson. everyone Leia loves dies

guys... i'm tired

it's just exhausting. what is the point? in the sequel trilogy we've seen the republic destroyed, the resistance decimated and harried from place to place until theyre down to 12 people on the millennium falcom. there's only one movie left. they're going to come back from nothing and destroy the first order and then smile at each other in the ashes?

why?>??? what are they going to do? build a republic again? is rey going to build a new jedi order? we've seen how that worked out

there's nothing to believe in here. HOPE is such a strong theme in the sequel trilogy. "as long as there's light we've got a chance" "leia sent me here with hope" "the galaxy has lost its hope, the spark is out." "hope is like the sun, if you only believe in it when you can see it you'll never make it through the night." like good grief. constantly hammering on the need to have hope, but WHY?

what's the point of defeating the imperials, spending your life trying to build something good in the galaxy, trying to build a family, when you're only going to have to do it all again in your old age, when everyone you love is dead?

i cant see any hope if this is the ending for the OT characters, so i powerfully struggle to care about and cheer for Rey, Poe, and Finn. what's the point in anything they're doing? what's the point in the sacrifices they're making? it might turn out just exactly like it did for Luke, Leia, and Han, spending their old age in loneliness, sorrow, and violence

if this is the way history repeats itself, you probably should just make out like the stuttering codebreaker. "dont join"

[vecna]

Hey folks. I never thought I’d have to blacklist something from Star Wars, but.

If you’re going to reblog stuff related to the Last Jedi novelization, esp relating to Luke’s suicide attempts, I’d appreciate it if you could tag it.

I can’t even express how upset I am at this new development and I don’t have the energy to write out my feelings about it -- but it hits way too close to home for me to be able to handle it. I didn’t think TLJ Luke could disappoint me any further, but here we are. 

[caeloren]

 ~~~ both a little scared / neither one prepared / 

the scavenger and the fallen one ~~~ 

[andromeda3116]

So. The Last Jedi.

My opinions of it are mostly... eh. The positives:

--That opening scene, goddamn. I don't even remember if Paige Tico had a line, but that part where she's staring up at the detonator and kicking the support strut to make it fall, surrounded by armed bombs? Holy shit. Easily the most gut-wrenching part of the movie, to me, on the level with the climax of Rogue One. And the actress killed it, with very little to say and do, she made me hurt.

--Holdo sending the flagship through the Destroyer at lightspeed, fuck. Not only was it a badass moment, but it was breathtaking to watch.

--Kylo Ren killing Snoke, and the subsequent fight scene, were awesome (but there's an asterisk here). I actually ended up caring more about Kylo Ren after this movie than before, because he felt less like a brat and more like someone who has actually gone dark for a reason. Which I know he was always supposed to be, but it fell flat in TFA, to me.

--The casino looked like what George Lucas had wanted the Cantina in ANH to be, but lacked the ability/money to actually translate to screen. I loved everything about the look and feel of it, my only problem was that the Master Codebreaker should have been a Lando cameo. I know these movies have an issue with a huge galaxy only being made up of the same handful of people, constantly running into each other, but since we're already on this boat, we could at least invite Billy Dee Williams along for the ride.

--The little boy with the broom! This feeds into another point down -- I like the idea (I like the idea a lot) of a new generation of powerful Force users rising, that have the legend of the Skywalkers and the Jedi but aren't constrained by them. It's a good direction to take the whole universe in.

--Poe getting an actual character arc, hell yeah. My only problem is that Leia should have slapped him harder, or a second time. She reacts appropriately for a leader, I guess, but I did feel like Holdo straight-up shutting him down and kicking him out was a more reasonable response, considering how monumental a fuck-up that was. It did almost feel like he didn't quite grasp the weight of it, even further in -- it wasn't until the failed mutiny and Leia's return that he started to think he'd really messed up, and even then it was with what he'd just done, not with the Dreadnaught. I think it might have been better for him to see Rose weeping over the loss of her sister, to see the human cost of his recklessness. The whole arc made me think of Zoe's line in Serenity: "You know what the definition of a hero is? Somebody who gets other people killed." Still, the character development is solid and I'm here for it.

.

Cons:

--Okay, the asterisk in the point above: for being such a powerful Force user, Ren hardly uses it in that fight. He should have been like Vader at the end of Rogue One -- he's at the top of his game, against multiple opponents who have a lot going for them, but who are not Force users. He should have been cutting through them like butter. I know that would have left Rey without as much to do, but this is the scene where we get to see him unload on more than inanimate objects. He should have fucking wrecked the whole room, left you in awe, which would turn to horror when he refuses Rey, because how can she hope to fight back against him? As it stands, they're pretty much equal, when she's been doing this for, like, a month.

--The Luke stuff. Like. The bit where he thinks about killing Ben but decides against it -- okay. I can... accept that. Although I think it was @ladytharen who pointed out that Luke consistently goes after the source of the problem, so he should have gone after Snoke, not his nephew. But I can accept a moment of weakness. It just feels so contrived. It's miscommunication for ~the drama~ and it's just. So, all of this could have been avoided if Luke had just hit the goddamn button before staring forlornly at his lightsaber thinking "my god what have I done?" Really? Is this really where we're going with this?

--Miscommunication/lack thereof seems to be a big driver of the plot of this movie, which I grant isn't rare, but boy is it glaring. It comes off like the whole Resistance falls to pieces as soon as Leia is out of the room, because nobody trusts or talks to anybody. Which, if that's the point... Okay, I guess, but that makes three for three series where the "good guys'" inability to fucking talk to each other sow the seeds of their own collapse.

--So. I like Finn and Rose and I like that they get their own side adventure, but having it turn out to be an hour-long shaggy dog story that accomplished nothing plot-wise was dumb. I also feel like the moment between her and Finn after she rams him away from the gun was just. The wrong time for that. I felt like it would have been better if she'd already been unconscious by the time he got there, so you get Finn freaking out about why she did it, without an immediate answer. As it is, it looks like there's gonna be this awkward please-ffs-don't love triangle thing with him and Rose and Rey and. Seriously, please for fuck's sake, don't. I can go either way, I'll be happy with whatever, just for the love of god resolve it without the nonsense angst, please.

-- I like Rey being a nobody, well enough, and I really like the concept that there are more (potentially) powerful Force users in the galaxy beyond the Skywalkers, foreshadowing a possible rise of a new "Jedi" order that is less restrictive and, well, shitty, than the old one. But I'm putting this under the cons because that clearly wasn't what JJ Abrams was going for, and since he's helming the next one, I'm pretty confident that Kylo Ren is retroactively going to have lied about it. Which brings me to the biggest issue --

--Inconsistency. People have pointed out how much of this one was a "fuck you" to previous films/canon, and that's great and all, but not when it makes for such an uneven story. I'm not really a fan of JJ Abrams, I think he has some glaring weaknesses and a goddamn terrible habit of introducing mysteries without knowing how to resolve them, but the series needs cohesion. Instead, it feels like a Round Robin. With him doing only the first and the last, it's going to make the conclusion nearly impossible to pull off cleanly. He clearly had his vision for it, and Rian Johnson clearly had a different vision for it, and do you really think that Abrams is going to spend a lot of time making the two work together? Because I don't.

I think he's gonna handwave the stuff that doesn't fit in with his plan and cram it all together so it ends where he originally wanted to end it. And I'm not sure how much I blame him, with how deliberate some of these fuck-yous were. Either they should have had him do all three, or they should pull someone new in to settle it neatly. I don't know who. Maybe one of the Harry Potter directors, who have some experience in trying to cobble together a coherent map of Hogwarts, three or four movies and two or three directors in.

--Also the milking thing was just... uncomfortable. Like. I get what they were going for, but. The face I made cannot be adequately expressed in words. It was like the look on Amy's face in B99 when Gina does her interpretive dance. It says, "not only am I distinctly confused but I am also deeply wishing that I wasn't present to witness this."

.

Anyway, overall, the things it did right, it did really right, but the things it did wrong were... Quite clunky and hard to overcome. The ultimate result is... Meh. It was all right. I don't really care whether or not I see it again -- I would leave it on if it came up on TV, I'd go see it again with friends, but I could just as easily never see it again and not really be upset.

It comes in as a solid 5/10, neither great nor terrible. Just... Eh.

[janiedean]

as we say in italy, since you can see if it’ll be a good morning looking at how the wind blows..

friendly reminder that in this house

we don’t support any ship hate

no, not even problematic stuff

we don’t support making lists of *problematic users you should avoid because of their fanfic content*

we don’t in any way shape or form support k*ylo hate or r*eylo hate or dark side hating in spite of not giving a fuck about the dark side

we don’t in any way shape or form support the concept that if THOSE TWO CHARACTERS don’t end up together SW is ruined

we don’t in any way shape or form agree on bashing ship X in posts about ship Y

we don’t think tlj was crap or that they were shitting on anyone’s character development (lol)

we don’t think that character development = what sexuality X and Y are

we like rose a lot and won’t mind whoever she ends up with if she does end up with anyone

we think that if you don’t understand that sw is about redemption you should find some other fandom

we don’t agree to call nazis any bad guy you don’t like

there I said it, feel free to take it as you want or not because from what I’m seeing on the tags it’s not going to be nice for the next two months and it’s probably a better idea to make it extremely clear

[screechthemighty]

Every person who misinterprets Rey and Kylo’s relationship owes me $10, there was no romance there and y’all are dense fucks

[notbecauseofvictories]

be honest, holdo's been leia's live in girlfriend for thirty years with han's full and placid consent

Han blinks when a woman dressed in three different shades of purple answers the door and smiles politely. “Can I help you?”

“Uh,” Han says, narrowing his eyes. The woman’s hair is the exact lavender of Doontian liquor and Leia didn’t mention anything about changing aides; he thought it was still—what’s her name, the kid with braids and a tendency to look despairing every time he leaned on a clean surface. “I’m here for the Senator.”

“Well, you’re in the right place. Who shall I say is calling?”

“Her husband.”

“Captain Solo!” the woman exclaims, clapping her hands together. “Of course, please come in, come in. I’m Amilyn Holdo, I’ve heard so much about you.”

Amilyn Holdo somehow strips him of his pack, his jacket, and his boots—all still dusty from the track on Kinbela, Han hadn’t thought to change—before steering him into the kitchen to sit at the table. Leia’s redecorated, Han thinks dizzily; everything’s softer than he remembers, all deep blue and stone and not the white-and-chrome they’d agreed to because that’s what came with the apartment.

It looks nice. Leia’s got her datapads stacked up at the corner of the table and a cold cup of tea, the green stuff that Leia usually hates. “I told her to switch to tea,” Han says absently, running his thumb along the curve of the handle. “She drinks too much caf.”

“I know,” Amilyn Holdo says, in a tone that makes Han look up. She’s smiling as she pours hot water into a cup, and for a minute it’s such a picture of domesticity that Han resists the urge to get up, put some distance between him and the image. “I have to keep reminding her, I swear she would live off caf if she could.

“Luckily,” Amilyn Holdo says as she sets a cup of the same green tea in front of him, “my family is in the business of tea. This is Leia’s favorite blend.”

Han wraps his hands around the mug, leeching the warmth of it. He has to admit, it does smell pretty good. “Where is Leia?”

“Oh, she’s just getting ready. We have a charity benefit tonight.” Amilyn Holdo gestures to her hair, as though that explains anything.

Han blinks. “Are you her new aide?”

“Am I—oh, no, I’m an old friend of Leia’s. I was an aide the senator from Gatalenta back in the days of the Imperial Senate. Leia and I were about the same age, and so we became friends. Of course, I didn’t know she was a Rebel spy at the time, but…”

Holdo smiles as though this is funny, somehow.

“Okay, but—” Han doesn’t get to finish before he feels a press of a hand at the top of his head, and the smell of Leia envelops him as she bends to kiss his cheek. He can’t keep himself from grinning, looping an arm around Leia’s waist and pulling her close. “Hey, sweetheart.”

“I thought I heard you come in,” she says, and he tilts his head to let her wipe the mark of her lipstick away with a thumb. “You clatter like a drunk bantha with durasteel hooves, every time.”

“I was just catching up with—good old Amilyn,” Han says, nodding across the table as Leia moves away, stealing his mug of tea as she goes.

“Oh, right,” Leia says, and there’s something in her expression that Han can’t quite place. She’s going red, her neck blotchy with it, and Han blinks. Leia smiles tautly over the mug of tea. “Yes. You two should…know one another.”

Amilyn’s polite expression freezes, and she turns to look at Leia—

Halfway through the silent conversation they’re holding with their eyes and a few minor twitches of their mouths, it dawns on Han. That holocall had been ages ago—he’d been a little drunk and so had she, and they’d had to disconnect three or four times to have the whole conversation without yelling at one another. When they were too tired to yell anymore, she’d taken a shaking breath and said, I love you. But I am—so tired of being alone.

He looks at Leia, leaning up against the wall with the mug of tea cradled in her hands. She looks softer too, like the apartment; her hair up in traditional Alderaanian style and dressed in a deep blue that makes her look like a queen. She doesn’t seem as tired as she did last time he was here; her face is fuller, like she’s been eating better too.

Amilyn Holdo saying ‘that’s her favorite blend’ implied Leia’d tried others. That they’d tried others, maybe together. 

“Well, I don’t want to keep you,” he says loudly, startling both Holdo and Leia, enough that Leia spills a little of the tea. They both stare. 

“I just mean, you have that benefit, right?” Han says, meeting Leia’s eyes pointedly. “You should go. You should have a nice evening. I’ll crash in the guest bed like I usually do.”

“Oh, those sheets haven’t been changed since—” Holdo says, but Han doesn’t look away from Leia. She’s watching him over the rim of the mug like she expects him to draw a blaster, but Han’s just…he’s just tired.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. Welcome to the family, Holdo,” Han says, getting to his feet. Too many hours in the cockpit, everywhere aches with the effort. “Enjoy the charity gig, I always hated those. Leia knows, didn’t I always hate those charity things?”

“You did,” Leia says quietly.

“See?“ Han says, and he kind of wants to pull her in his arms again, kiss her hair. There’s just not really a good way to do it without looking like he’s trying to make the point, a yard and Holdo between them. “That’s what friends are for.”

The guest bedding smells a little stale, not-slept-in. Han doesn’t bother to crawl under the blankets, just punches the pillow into the shape he likes and drops away from the world.

[astrographic]

skywalker, still looking to the horizon

[hauntedfalcon]

I want you to consider two things

Rian “no room for Lando in the longest Star Wars movie EVAR” Johnson could have made the master codebreaker Lando

Rogue One lives and the master codebreaker is everyone’s dignified greying Jedhan uncle, Bodhi Rook

[lesbiandeancas]

each new star wars movie must begin with poe dameron being a smartass... I don't make the rules