#the light source is really shit btw im sorry

[xamaxenta]

lovewings

[tsukasageorge]

hey raey! ur art is so pretty, reminds me of a strawberry soda float tbh. anyways I wanted to ask what your coloring process is if you don’t mind sharing :)

OH MY GOD HI THANK YOU FOR ASKING LOVE YOU FOREVER ALSO SORRY FOR ANSWERING KIND OF LATE I DONT CHECK MY ART ACC VERY OFTEN ANYMORE

ok so (this is a lighting tutorial not a rendering tutorial btw) here's my Ten Step (not) Program For Achieving Strawberry Soda Floatness

i actually usually start with pretty normal/true to reference colors bc i often don't have incredibly intense, neon lighting. however, im gonna be using the mari piece i just finished to demo, where i wanted to pinkify the drawing from the start.

here are some of the base colors (skin, hair, shirt): as you can see even the white shirt leans into saturation/color, and they're all kept around the red/pink area.

ok so here (skipping about 15 steps) i already did the rendering using a color shifting method where instead of using multiply or directly lowering the luminosity (?) i shift the hue closer to the blue/purple category and decrease luminosity + slightly up saturation of the color. so like, on mari's skin you can see that the shadows are pink and purple rather than like. orange or something.

for the background i filled it with a lightish pink color and used the sunset gradient tool on a 30-50% opacity to establish the light source.

alright, here's where the fun begins.

i started off by using an overlay layer (later lowered to 28%, but just use whatever looks good) on the darker colors where the light would shine the brightest. this layer originally included highlights on the face and shirt as well, but i took those off bc the yellow on dark colors looks like an orange and the yellow on lighter colors looks like a fucking highlighter.

first i added a sort of reflected/second light source of this fun little pink on soft light. i did 2 layers bc 1 wasn't bright enough for me. then on the lighter areas i added white highlights. important little tip: when i pick colors for overlays i usually use yellow as the primary light source, pink as a midtones/secondary light source, and blue or purple as the shadows. however, this is not a rule, just an example:

in this drawing i have blue as the light source & red as the shadow. my tips for picking colors to overlay with: most programs/devices have an option for you to turn off the saturation. whichever color looks lightest is often best for the highlights. you can obviously change the brightness but yeah just make sure your highlights aren't darker than your shadows

apologies for the inconsistent opacities, you get the idea. so i would like to make a disclaimer here that for my hxhbb piece (left) i used only one direct lighting overlay, which was the yellow. the amount of those overlays i use per piece varies. anyways i added a lighter green as a substitute for the white highlights on the darker colors

lil bit of a secret sauce: on an overlay layer i airbrushed yellow onto roughly half of her and pink on the other side. unifies the colors + lighting and just looks cool

okay now here's how to actually strawberry soda float-ify your art (sorry lol that was just background info):

the sunset gradient map is your best friend here. you can really just fuck around with any gradient maps, doesn't really matter. now you can also change the brightness, contrast, saturation, etc. what i usually do is up the saturation & luminosity together: +50 saturation and +25-50 luminosity. experiment with blending modes and opacities and shit

when you're done, uhh, congratulations. the gradient maps are really carrying the entire thing the yellow and white lighting is just to torture myself with

[humanmorph]

palisade 22. kind of a mess of notes about that haunted moon

NOTES

"Mosaic Gyratory"

gravity changes ("like the wind changes direction", uneasy/sickening feeling. I only just realized this makes sense re: Austin talking about the tides rising when the Chimera's Lantern did [????] last time to help people fight off the Divine Principality. that is how those work)

murals of divines (immediately thought of the divine fleet. i just don't know how it fits if at all???. i guess the question would be divine fleet from when? from when (partial) palisade & co left?)

animal components in the structure (next to ceramic etc. there's also normal stuff): bone, vast insect shells (the insect shells made me think of signet&belgard immediately but its not like they have the. whats the word. theyre not the only ones that can be buglike or have buglike stuff.)

teeth beasts. teeth instead of muscle or flesh. teeth… (hm. hm. hm. yeah i dont know. hm. btw when i read 'description of teeth' in the content warnings i was a bit puzzled by it but then i went aahhhh i see when these things showed up.)

blue-ish glow / white-orange glow (2 different glows in different directions = different sources? Also i only remember austin describing the orange glow when talking about Chimera's Lantern weirdness, but not the blue one. Possible the blue is new/related to Nideo being there now?)

THOUGHTS re: mural of divines

i was trying to find something twilight mirage and specifically signet related but i keep just reading bits of transcripts and going man tm was so fucking good huh

anyways i found it and i thought of…. the crypt of the order from signets playbook. now. in retrospect im actually fairly sure it just came to mind because sylvi earlier in the ep mentioned the roman saints as a reference for coris new mech + the divine fleet connection i made (it's the murals. in my head that's just. it has Got to be related.) = crypt of dead excerpts & their things (the scene I'm talking about in TM18 is honestly one that makes me really sad about signet. man. signet). I don't know...

WHAT'S UP WITH THIS THEN

it cant just be A Divine. that's not it. But the way... it's talked about Sounds so. Divine Influence. does it not?

"It’s often about letting people determine the best versions of themselves. People are— the warriors of the moon are kind of described as having their natural capabilities enhanced. There’s a lot of verbiage that combines expression, like the idea of self expression and becoming a version of yourself that you want to be, with a sort of epic heroism."

"It gave them— the way that it’s written about here, the way that Crystal Palace saw it was that these are people who were raised with the light of justice and were raised as defenders against an empire vast in the future. They were trying to— they’re people who were trying to prune something that would take over, that would grow over the galaxy." (PAL15: Upon Our Grace Pt.2) (Honestly interesting to bring that up there as a metaphor, since we have… you know, it's not a field it's a garden (TM), and now in PALISADE: "I think one of the new Gur Sevraq’s most famous sermons is about how the galaxy in general, and Palisade specifically, isn't meant to be a jungle, or an overgrown field, it's meant to be a garden, you know? It's well-groomed, it's supposed to be maintained. You're supposed to attend to the world." (PAL01: Into The World Pt. 1) that just as an aside though. i noticed it and wanted to note it.)

oh my god the divine cycle timeline is so fucked i cannot make sense of it once i try to think about details i just cant.hell on earth 6 wiki pages and 9 transcripts open. i keep getting shit confused "Everything that has happened before will happen again." i fucking know right sorry i was trying to find Divine Fleet info from PRE-twilight mirage. and ended up just looking up the partial palisade stuff, which, they left when under attack from the NEH. ok. I just don't know... at what point did Palisade "die"... When did the Divines turn into Afflictions (they HAVE NEH names, so... after or during a time when the NEH was attacking Palisade? does this make sense?)? I'm lost. I got lost. Why am I asking myself this again. OH RIGHT

post by swallowtailed i just saw bc i looked up chimeras lantern on here talked about the moon being part of the planet (there's quite a big part missing up with that cauldron). I guess in my mind... a big part of the planet being blown(?) off or otherwise removed somehow COULD very well be related to a divine turned living planet dying. right? post also mentioned it being a tomb for his excerpt which funnily enough lines up with my crypt thought from earlier. and it IS a question on what happened to those god i just wanna know whats up with the afflictions!!!! not what this post is about though so im stopping.

it's all just so. i think it's in an episode without transcript yet and i don't feel like hunting for it but when austin implied that whatever is happening with the moon is as or more important for the world as. the WORLD BLOWING UP? its haunting me

[discountskeppy]

extremist house headcanons because im interested in this webseries a normal amount. under a readmore because i can tell this is gonna be long as fuck.

ok so they have at least 4 bedrooms, obvi. four bedrooms for four guys it makes sense. but cmon this is a mansion, not only that its ANCAPS mansion so everything must be over the top. at least 6 bedrooms im thinkin, two for guests!! when i say guests i mean moderate lee and maybe nazbol sometimes.

i also think the extremists bedrooms all have their own bathrooms because ancap is just That Fucking Rich okay. im not gonna elaborate about this because i dont care about bathrooms when it comes to interior design but its part of the vision i just had to tell you that.

OK we already know what tankie and bluemans rooms look like. but we dont know anything about ancap and ancoms rooms which is a TRAVESTY so im building them myself thank u very much

ancaps room is purple as fuck to contrast his yellowness. some part of this man has to be purple please. he has the beanbag OF COURSE i like to think he just either moves it around as he pleases or he has several yellow beanbags around the house. im really conflicted on if he has a loft bed or not. part of me is like he absolutely doesnt but the other part is like he absoluetly does. i dunno much about good furniture but one thing i do know is that HE HAS A LAVA LAMP he has a lava lamp its his only source of light in his room is a lava lamp the lava lamp is purple ok thank you moving on

ancoms room i can get a lot sillier with. qui has a lot of like little drawings and papers on quir wall. also qui just draws on quir wall because GRAAAH I DONT KNOW QUI JUST WOULD. qui has no bed frame just. box spring + mattress on da floor. its the messiest room ever btw. like you could have inferred that but im telling you that its just a fact. soda cans and clothes everywhere. messy beeyotch </3 (this section is kind of really projectly but projecting is ok when im correct.)

also uhm moderate lee's room, if u were wondering, its like normal guest room shit. normal bed. normal endtables. he doesnt really customize his room but i think if he did it wouldnt look much different hes a very normal man.

i dont imagine nazbol's designated guest room is too different either. i dont think hed wanna fuck with shit too much his fathers taught him MANNERS i do think at one point he gets ancap to let him paint it purple becuase he deserves it okay its his guest room.

THE BASEMENT they have a giant ass basement and its incredible its carepeted and it has all the rich house shit it has a pool table a little movie theater idk what else would be in it ive never been inside of a mansion basement but its cool as hell ok TRUST ME they play pool they watch movies okay its true. and also it has the weirdest goddamn furniture ever okay ancap gets silly with it.

UHM ok thats pretty much it if you read this far im sorry im insane i needed to put this into the world. also thank u very much if u read all of this i luv u be my best friend. jk but thank u im very crazy.

[themockingcrows]

Whisper Just For Me Ch. 15: Reunion

This chapter is SFW! This chapter is also available mirrored on my AO3.

Just having someone back in your presence doesn't always mean they're really there, especially when that someone is a ghost. How much of Dave is with you, and how much of him was affected by your time apart? Is it really a reunion when only one person is aware of the reuniting?

    Your dreams were empty. You were holding out hope that Dave would visit you, would talk with you, would get rid of the lingering worry that clung to your mind like a sticky veil of spiderwebs. Instead you got repeats of different scenarios you've had in the past, strange distortions of shadow and light, a strange sequence of trying to buy a set of pants from a food stall only to find they didn't have your size, and your father trying to pass off one of his finest hats to you after it had been coated in peanut butter, blending the symbolic niceties of adulthood and achievement with a death threat. If you believed in omens it probably would have meant a lot. Good thing you don't believe in it without a gut feeling and the only feelings it gave you were confusion and a stomach ache.

    You woke with your hand instinctively curled around the pendant as if trying to keep it warm, despite the material being plenty warm in your hand already, a reminder of who dwelled within it. Good, he was making some reactions now aside from just a loose sensation of presence.

    “...Dave?” you said quietly, a sleepy murmur. “Dave, can you hear me in there?”

    Silence.

    “...Dave, I'm so sorry for what happened. If I was even remotely aware anything like that was going to happen I'd have done everything different somehow. I'm just glad we got there in time.”

    More silence, but the warmth in your hand didn't diminish. Dave was definitely still in there. Maybe he was sleeping in too.

    Your phone let out a few familiar tones to signal you had messages coming in, rapid fire texts that had you wondering just how many people were texting you at once till you could get at it and turn the screen on with a press of the button along the side. ...Huh. Okay, five texts in a row from a number you were sleepy enough to not recognize as Rose's for a moment.. No, six, your phone chimed again in your palm to try making you scroll down. Okay, maybe you wouldn't have recognized it was from Rose's number right away anyway, this was definitely not her normal way of texting.

    TT: hey when you get this cn u like txt me back asap

    TT: *can

    TT: its roxy rose said i should hit u up again to like

    TT: check in and shit about what happened

    TT: srry for treating u like u two were gonna rob me blind but 2 be fair u were acting creepy

    TT: is that ghost thing okay btw or is that not a gr8 thing to ask

    Another few chimes as you were trying to formulate how to even reply, which left you marveling at the speed with which she could text. Was he okay? He still wasn't talking or glowing or.. much of anything beyond keeping the pendant warm. He wouldn't do that if he was sick right? ...Wait, do ghosts even get sick? What was the right word for this. Exhaustion? Strained? It couldn't last forever, he'd be back to normal soon surely.

    TT: srry not ghost thing i guess i mean dave

    TT: rose filled me in a bit but it still dsnt make much sense

    TT: guess it makes more sense than me goin crzy tho

    TT: *crazy lol

    Yeah, no shit. Even this deep in everything there were times you worried you were just actually crazy and none of this unbelievable mess was real at all. Rubbing sleep from your eyes, you pushed yourself to sit upright in bed, put on your glasses, and started to slowly type out a reply with your pointer finger.

    EB: hey, yeah, i'm here. sorry, i just woke up.

    TT: o shit my bad lol

    EB: no, it's no problem. thanks for getting in contact though. and sorry for uh.

    EB: you know.

    EB: barging into your apartment and alerting you to the whole concept of ghosts i guess?

    TT: like i said dont worry abt it

    TT: im just glad everythins back to normal in here

    TT: I hadnt realized just how weird the place felt till now

    TT: muties finally able to chillax again

    EB: i'm still kind of amazed you believed us at all, but if you'd been feeling things for a while then i guess that would all just kind of line up, huh.

    TT: just another day in the bullshit mines

    TT: rose talks about stuff like this a lot but i kinda never rlly believed her

    TT: hindsight 2020 foot does not taste gr8

    You grinned at your phone and let the screen go dim once more before stuffing it into the pocket of some sweatpants you then wrangled on. Might as well not delay the inevitable and just get up. It took a few more tries than usual to get up, fatigue weighing heavy in your bones, but get up you eventually did to shuffle to the kitchen. A banana wound up in your other pocket, keeping your hands free for motoring around to thump down on the sofa. Jade perked up soon as you went down, shuffling her legs to get your weight off her feet and poking a head full of sleep wild hair out from underneath the throw.

    “...S'it morning..?”

    “Yeah. Or later, I didn't look at the time,” you admit, pulling your phone out of your pocket to peek as the banana was yanked out in a dual wielding motion. You bit the standing end of the banana and tipped it sideways till the peel cracked, making it easier to open one handed. Wisely, you waited till you had a bit mouth full of fruit to try talking more. “Closer to noon it look like. Oh, and Roxy wrote.”

    “How'd she get your number?” Jade asked. She crawled to the floor to get at her purse, rummaging around for a brush to start taming the mass down enough to apply some strategically placed hair ties.

    “Oh, no, she was writing from Rose's phone. I guess they met up today in one way or another? She said everything feels better at her place so.. I guess that at least shows Dave didn't dislodge somehow or anything.”

    “Has he.. y'know. Said anything?”

    You frowned and took another bite of banana, then another till it was gone, delaying as if the extra few seconds stalled would somehow give Dave enough incentive to interact again. No such luck.

    “No. Nothing.. Oh! But the pendant's warm! He's definitely in there, just..”

    Just what. Just tired? Just ghost broken? Did ghosts get sick? You sank down further in the sofa and let your leg slide further along the floor with a heavy sigh. This sucked. This really, really sucked.

    “...I wish I knew enough about what was happening to fix it.”

    “We could always ask Rose if you want. She seems to have good ideas on this stuff, maybe she'd understand what was happening,” said Jade, opening up a compact mirror to check and see if the low segmented pigtails were a good look that day. Verdict was a resounding yes from the way she snapped it shut with a happy grin and dropped the supplies back into the bag. “Or we can just wait and see what he does next on his own.”

    “You make me sound like a helicopter parent when you put things like that, Jade.”

    “Helicopter boyfriend.”

    “Helicopter whatever! Same thing!”

    “I mean-”

    “You know that's not what I meant,” you frowned. “I just want to do what's best by him. I'm kind of responsible for him now, and I already fucked that up in a big way. Getting him back's like a second chance, but I can't do the second chance right from the very beginning if something's wrong.”

    “Then call Rose,” shrugged Jade as she got up from the floor and sauntered off to pilfer breakfast from your fridge.

    “Yeah but what if that just makes it worse somehow, what if we're supposed to wait for something to happen!”

    “John either call her, let me call her, or shut up and relax! Holy shit, it's not the world ending, it's either getting more potential information from a verified source of accurate information, or making our own estimations based on study and other information sources. It's as if you've never heard of a reasonable hypothesis before,” she grumbled, then disappeared around the corner.

    You frowned the way she went.

    “You could've at least taken my banana peel with you!”

    “Fuck your banana peel, you've got a leg and two arms that aren't broken!”

    You immediately stuck your tongue out in her direction, already knowing she couldn't see it, but hoping she could feel your rankle even through the wall. Heaving another sigh, reveling in the dramatic for a moment, you turn your attention to your phone once more. It hadn't pinged again to signal an incoming flurry from Roxy, so you assumed it'd be safe to call Rose now. Jade was right. She'd probably know what to do.

    The phone rang several times before you heard the familiar voice on the other line and smiled.

    “Hello?”

    “Rose?”

    “Obviously.”

    “Yeah. So. ..Uh.” Come on, spit it out, what if this was time sensitive or something? “Dave's home now... I think. But he's not talking or anything. No dream visits, no lights, no interacting with anything. The most he's done is warm the pendant up,” you start to explain. “I'm worried he's. I don't know. Sick? Exhausted? What happens now, how can I help fix him? I finally got him home but I can't even talk to him.”

    Everything had started as a trickle before finishing in a rush of stress balled up into English and launched out of your mouth like cannon fire. You held your breath, listening closely for a response.

    “Well.”

    ….Well that wasn't what you were hoping for. It takes effort to remain quiet and wait instead of pointing that out and being sarcastic. Stress sarcasm didn't tend to do the best things.

    “I think he likely just needs rest. Roxy already caught me up to everything that happened prior to and just after him leaving. It's possible he just expended way too much energy while apart from you and needs to rest now. Perhaps even sap energy from his surroundings.”

    You frowned and furrowed your brow in thought. It had felt harder to get out of bed today, but was that Dave already sapping from you, or was it just the reality of getting around on crutches for too long at a stretch?

    “Is there anything I can do to help though? I mean. I guess if he's going to be doing that draining thing while this tired, is there anything I can do to make it easier for him to do it?”

    You heard Rose sigh and the creak of whatever seat she was in.

    “Hm. Well, not exactly anything you can DO. Not strictly speaking at least. You can make yourself more open to him, perhaps. Leave yourself like an open door, let him get at you easier. Keep him in range obviously. Make sure you eat and sleep often enough, perhaps rest up and take things a little easier. Be the reserve battery.”

    You wet your lips and nodded, though obviously Rose couldn't see you. You hoped she'd get the feeling you nodded anyway.

    “Is there any way I'll be able to tell when he's back to normal?”

    “When he's back to scattering papers and bothering you, most likely,” Rose said, the soft sound of a chuckle flavoring her words. “But I think he'll make himself known when he's able to. The way you've talked about him makes it seem like he's probably just as excited to talk to you as you are to talk to him.”

    It was a comforting though. Another few nods you hoped Rose was able to detect happened as you tried to collect the rest of your thoughts.

    “When should I try telling him about the things Jade and I learned? About.. y'know, about his everything. His history and stuff.”

    Rose was quiet for a moment. You could almost picture her biting her lip, pale teeth on black lipstick that somehow never seemed to smudge or get spotty.

    “I'd recommend keeping your mouth shut about much of that until he's for certain stronger. It's hard to gauge his specific reaction, but the last thing you'd want to have happen is for the information to make him decide to go and then be unable to leave due to not having enough power.”

    “So.. I just need to be a good battery and wait for him, and then get to the nitty gritty when he's all recovered and back to obnoxiously normal.”

    “That's the gist of it, yes. Keep him close and in contact. Think of it as spoon feeding someone overtaken by illness while they recover.”

    “I'm already recovering, I think I can handle a bit more of the resting. Hah, might make Jade happy to finally get off my feet and just take it easy for a while longer.”

    She chuckled. “No doubt. I'd be interested to hear about your progress as things continue, actually. Will you be tracking things as you were before? That data is extremely useful to have on hand, it gives good insight on whether things that feel like they should work are actually beneficial. Who knows who might else wind up in a similar situation someday with a spirit and need to tend it before it can properly move on?”

    “You make it sound like opening a ghost infirmary or rehabilitation place is an option, Rose.”

    Another soft sound from the other end of the phone and far too long of a pause spanned silence till you laughed, awkward. “Rose. I was kidding.”

    “Yes. Kidding. Still an intriguing idea. I wonder if spiritual rehabilitation could work in the case of negative spirits as we-”

    “Rose, I'm gonna have to let you go for now,” you interrupted. “I'm sorry. I'll call back later on with updates, okay?”

    “Have Jade call me later, if you could?”

    “About Dave?”

    “No, to make dinner plans. I think her phone may be drained, it just goes straight to voice mail.”

    That wasn't like her. Maybe she turned it off instead of it dying. Either way, you nod and make a sound of confirmation just in case Rose wasn't psychic enough to understand just how earnestly you'd been nodding this entire time you'd been conversing.

    “Sure thing. Thanks again, Rose. And uh.. Rose?”

    “Yes?”

    “...Could you tell Roxy to send me a bill for what all she'd need to get her laptop running again? I feel like it'd probably be better if I paid or helped pay for a good chunk of that. Even if it was an accident, just. ..Yeah.”

    It was kind of the least you could do, considering someone innocent got caught in some pretty serious crossfire. Things could have easily given way to a fire, taken out the entire apartment building or gotten others killed.

    “I'm sure she'll appreciate it. Between that and her phone, I think her run of bad luck took a bit more out of her than she'd be willing to admit. I'll just pass her your email address and she'll forward something.” A soft chuckle. “If she doesn't, then I'll figure it out and send the information your way instead.”

    “Perfect. Thank you again, Rose.”

    You hung up as Jade was coming back in with a bowl of cereal loaded to the brim, sipping milk from the edge where it precariously sat just waiting to spill all over the floor. She cast a green eyed glance your way to be sure she wouldn't squash anything before sitting down beside you on the sofa to crunch away. Apparently the back and forth sassing hadn't left any lingering bad tastes in her mouth towards you, at least judging by how close and comfortable she sat.

    There was no mystery involved if Jade Harley was angry with you. You were very, very well aware.

    “Rose said to treat myself like a good little battery and just wait on him to make the most of it. Give her updates.. and she wants you to call for dinner plans? Your phone's apparently off.”

    Jade swallowed sideways and nearly choked on her cereal.

    “What? Fuck. I forgot I did that. Right, don't worry about it, I'll call her soon as I finish this. ...But that's it, huh?”

    “Apparently so. Take it easy, eat and sleep plenty, keep him close. I wonder if talking to him helps even if he can't respond yet. Would he be able to hear?”

    “If he's awake he'll hear. Maybe he's just not strong enough to respond and he's actually wide awake worrying? Talking is a good idea.”

    “Great, more excuses to talk to myself in public, exactly what I want.”

    “Truly, you lead a charmed life,” she said with a grandiose gesture of her spoon before popping more cereal into her face. The mood seemed reset now that your obligations were complete. You had solved the mystery of how Dave died, of his origins. You'd gotten Dave back, though you weren't quite able to celebrate freely yet. You were going to repair damage done and set some debts right before they could become an issue. You had ideas on how to help fix things in a lot of ways.

    All you needed was patience.

    ...Fuck does patience suck sometimes.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    You'd spent nearly two weeks being the best battery you were able to be. You ate plenty of decent food, took naps whenever you could, and otherwise gave yourself as much physical rest as you were able to on the sofa when not busy. The entire time you were also murmuring to yourself, talking softly towards the pendant you couldn't help but keep touching, narrating your life and your thoughts to a sleeping spirit that you were guarding. The stone remained comfortingly warm as a hand you could hold in your time alone, and a few times you swore you could feel a soft pulse of a presence coming from it. There had been no speaking however. No dreams being visited.

    The paranoid part of your brain was worried enough that it started to offer up all kinds of awful scenarios that were possibly coming true, despite having clear evidence to the contrary that anything was going wrong. Dave was quiet, but he was there. You knew he was there. ...You just wished he'd react more than a pulse or warmth.

    Dave granted your wish one night. While you worked on your laptop in bed, fucking around on a forum in one window, talking with friends in another, and doing a little research into some new devices for spirit communication that were making the rounds in the online sources, you failed to notice the slender trail of red light leaving the pendant. You also failed to notice the red ball form, only realizing something was up when the corner of your eye caught the red haze starting to take a different shape.

    “Wh-. Dave?!”

    Fumbling with your laptop, you sat bolt upright in bed and glanced down to the pendant before back towards the apparition that was struggling to form something specific. Humanoid was a good start, but it seemed like he was struggling a bit to settle on a specific shape for very long, unable to make up his mind.

    “It's okay, you can stay an orb if you want! There's no rush!” you hurry to say, though he doesn't appear to acknowledge you. The red light strains and struggles, forming Dave's face before flickering and distorting grotesquely enough that you're taken aback. He keeps coming back to his own face, but between flashes of it are things you don't recognize. Monstrous half formed things, faces that belong to people you've never met, and even several times faces you recognized. You could have sworn you saw Jade in there a few times, and Roxy. You saw your own face once or twice before it ripped itself apart to bone and reformed as malleable as clay in the vapor.

    “...Dave?” you whisper. It's the face of Dave's brother that glances at you sharp as broken glass, mouth set in a thin line as his outer edges twitched and spasmed, only to once more break apart at the seams. He looked like he was melting, and it took effort not to panic. Something was definitely wrong, it was obvious to see, but WHAT was wrong. What specifically was wrong? What could even be done about it? You wet your lips and tried to think clearly as you could.

    Be open. Be a good battery. Dave had gone through a lot of strain before coming home, maybe this reforming problem was linked to that? It had to take a lot of power to form a specific shape as opposed to just forming out of habit. You were trying to think of any reasonable explanation you could, despite the taste of bile rising in the back of your throat.

    “Dave,” you try again, keeping his attention this time. Maybe just act like business as usual? “I missed you so much. I'm sorry this happened, but.. you're here now! You're home! And I'm recovering, and everything can go back to normal now.”

    A frown lit on Dave's ever changing face, but he seemed to be starting to decide on the features you were by now familiar with. His eyes were the things that stayed in place the most, barely there hints of lashes pale on a fairly normal shaped face. At least it wasn't splitting apart at the seams anymore.. His mouth still looked too big, too sharp, too inhuman, but it was progress. You gestured with your arms wide as if expecting a hug at any time to come your way, hoping against hope that maybe, just maybe, you'd get it to happen if you wished enough.

    “I know things haven't been easy. And.. I understand if you're mad. Or scared. Or-”

    Something was wrong. Words died on your lips as, finally, Dave's features went into the right order and appeared to hold steady yet the look in his eyes didn't change in the slightest. He looked at you as if looking through you, taking in the room as a whole as if he'd never seen it before in his life. If he was strong enough to form, why wasn't he talking to you at all? Or reaching for you?

    “...Dave,” you try again, moving so your legs were over the edge of your mattress and one hand was reaching for your crutches. “Dave. Say something. Anything. Or.. uh. Knock something over. I'm listening close as I can for you, I promise, but I'm not hearing anything. Am I just not trying hard enough or are you just not talking for some reason?”

    The spirit was glancing at his hands now, wispy trails of paleness caught in reddish mist that faded in and out of view between fully formed mass and smoke. Even with a fully open link, it still took a lot of energy to do that. You weren't surprised to hear the fan of your laptop suddenly kick into high gear behind you, cooling the inner workings down as it drew more power than usual from the wall. He didn't seem interested in talking, or in doing much at all. Compared to the spirit you were used to, how Dave was acting now just gave you the creeps. He hovered gently off the ground, face grim and expressionless as a doomed man, resolute and lost. A thousand yard stare at nothing at all.

    This was Dave, but it was the least Dave-like Dave you thought you'd ever seen. And considering how much you'd learned about him so recently and all the time you'd spent together so far, you considered yourself a pretty damn good gauge of Dave-ness. An unaccounted for lack of Dave-ness with no guidance on what had caused it. Could you soft reset ghosts? Turn it off and on again till the appearance stuck right.

    No, wait, that was a stupid idea. Focus, John. You shook your head hard to clear the thought from your head to focus on the other thoughts instead, the ones that felt instinctively like they might help. After all, you'd shared a body before, two minds in one form. You'd had his voice in your head, in your ear, in your heart. Maybe he just needed that..? Needed a touch, a push, a rekindling to remember properly after the traumatic time apart like someone might take their shoes off and flop on a sofa to make a place feel like home again after a return from a too long vacation. You picked up a single crutch and forced yourself upright to your feet, leaning your weight to keep balanced before taking a lumbering step forward, one hand out beseechingly.

    “Dave. Come here for a second.”

    He stared at you, through you again, then went back to looking at his hands as if they were foreign objects. Maybe they were. The thought chilled your blood, but you lumbered forward another careful step, nearly touching him. It would be okay. It'd be fine. You could do this.

    Dave flinched when your hand went through him as if he'd not realized just how close you were. ...Wait, had he felt that? The contact had been chilly, vaguely electric, but welcome. Familiar. Just needed to keep contact up for it to be warm, right?

    “Come on.. Here. Remember when we were at the aquarium?” you asked, pausing to grin at him. “Would yoooou... want to try that again? No cars this time. It was kind of fun in hindsight. Scary but interesting to back seat in my own body?”

    Were you offering casual possession to an Not-Very-Dave-Like Dave? Yes. Yes you were. It felt important, the closest thing to a hug you could manage when all you craved was contact with someone who couldn't do the literal contact thing very well. Dave stared vacantly, but didn't seem like he was going to dart away anywhere, or at least attempt to given the limitations of the place he was still tethered to. A thought of taming timid woodland creatures crossed your mind as you held your hand out in offer, patient, quiet, smiling.

  �� “Come on. Come closer. I've really missed you, I can see you, you can see me. I can't hear you and I'm dying for a chat.”

    More staring. ...Okay, you weren't a very patient man in hindsight, but the attempt was still happening.

    “Dave. Come here,” you said again.

    More staring.

    Well. Now or never. Acting quickly, you moved your crutch forward and lunged for the spirit in his red haze as if you were trying to bear hug him, forcing yourself to think as openly as you could. Welcoming as an open door, trying to recreate anything you could from the aquarium as you went right through him and lurched uncoordinatedly straight into your dresser drawers. Another hard wobble as you rebounded too hard in a panic of over-correcting and started to go backwards, passing through Dave a second time directly before starting to head for the floor.

    Though you hadn't been able to see it, the first pass through Dave's body had had a definite effect, a small spark of reaction, memory, something familiar. He'd watched your graceless fumble as well as your rebound without really reacting much beyond observation, too busy trying to organize his own slowly waking thoughts to go further.

    ...Was he home? Where was this? He'd been somewhere else, right? This felt different, it looked different, there was no pink everywhere, no cat.. It felt familiar. Looked familiar. So did the person falling.

    Falling?

    Fuck, falling.

    You were wide eyed and nearly to the floor when the hand extended your direction, and without a second thought you reached up to grab it. Foolish really, trying to grab the hand of a ghost. There was nothing there to really grab, nothing to hold on to or to use to stop the inevitable crash to the ground, but what could you say? When falling the urge to grab a hand was instinctive. Your hand felt like it was numb with cold before it suddenly surged hot, heat racing up your arm and down your spine, making your head swim. You were aware you were changing position and of the world changing place around you, but kept bracing for the impact on the back of your head.

    It never came.

    You felt pressure on your elbows, forearms, and good knee instead. The brunt of the impact was taken in your healthy limbs, injured leg awkwardly elevated and hovering an inch or two above the ground before slowly lowering down.

    ...Wow. That was pretty cool! You'd never even thought of turning like that, it was kind of like a stunt man's moves or something out of a movie. Most importantly, however, you hadn't bashed the back of your head in like a total idiot who'd tried to hug a ghost! Just needed to get up then.

    …

    Just. Needed to get up.

    …

    Preferably with the moving and the getting up actions actually happening instead of just waiting. You tried again, but failed to move out of the weight bearing stance that had successfully broken your fall. Nothing felt heavy or really out of place. More like it felt like your joints were a glimpse of what life was like as the Tin Man after being left out in the rain too long, immobilized. You could feel your glasses starting to slide off your nose towards the ground but couldn't catch and readjust them. They slowly slipped bit by bit off your face before thumping to the ground, leaving your vision blurry and soft.

    ...John?

    “Dave?”

    Well, at least talking was happening. You were grateful your mouth could move, but the talking wasn't very soothing in the face of suddenly being an immobilized statue on the floor.

    “Dave, did. ..Wait, Dave, you're talking now! Where are you at, I can hear you really clearly now!” you realized, voice raising in pitch a bit as the excitement built. Shit, it'd been way too long since you last heard his voice, you hadn't really realized how great it would be to hear him again.

    JOHN

    “Yes, I can hear you! Dave, come down where I can see you, I can't move, I can't see shit at all.”

    ...Wait.

    “...Dave are you why I can't move. Where are you at. I can't see shit,” you repeated, “let me see where you are.”

    John John John John John John John

    “Dave, I'm happy to hear you too but like. Seriously, did you do this?” Had to be. In hindsight there was no way you'd be able to do a cool mid-movement flip like that to avoid damaging yourself in a fall. You were not nearly that coordinated. You felt warmth blossom in your chest and down your spine again, down either leg. You could wiggle your toes for a moment before the statue effect was in place once more.

    JOHN JOHN JOHN JOHN JOHN JOHN JOHN HOME JOHN HOME SAFE JOHN HOME

    “Dave. Dave. Let me stand up! I'm gonna get a cramp! Do whatever you were doing a second ago, I could kinda move for a moment there! You can talk and yell at me all you want but just. Can we go to the bed again? I don't want my leg to hurt.”

    The excited thrumming focused in your chest like a steady bouncing, or like one of those wacky weasel toys that wiggled the ferret on the motorized ball in random directions. You could still hear his voice as if it were getting further and further away before realizing the warmth was focusing centrally before trying to expand outward to each limb at the same time. This was very different from the experience at the aquarium but.. it wasn't bad by any stretch of the imagination. It was kind of comforting actually, especially once you started to realize where things were and could hone in on where Dave was. It had forced you to stop acting automatically and to instead focus inwards at an acute angle that got rid of the borders around your body and the world around you.

    Once again, your body housed two hearts for even a brief moment and you couldn't quite explain just how complete it actually made you feel compared to normal. Not too full but comfortable. Safer. ...Were you missing something, to feel this way? Or was it just a sign of you having a better capacity to work with others?

    Or was it just Dave?

    The warmth ran all the way to your fingertips, coursing through your veins and muscles till you could feel your arms wobble and then go limp. You face planted solidly against your glasses, mashing your nose into the frames hard enough that for a second you were scared you'd break them, pushing back up onto your hands with a sharp gasp. Okay. There was the movement again, but the warmth wasn't dissipating. You could still feel it in your chest, bouncing from side to side and up and down, spinning in circles as your own name was chanted in your ears excitedly.

    JOHN John John JOHN home safe homehomehomesafejohn JOHN SAFE HOME JOHN JOHN JOHNJOHNJOHN!

    You pushed upright to sit flat on your ass and picked up your glasses, taking a moment to rub them clean with the bottom edge of your shirt before putting them back into place. The room returned to crisp, clear outlines and familiar shapes. The pendant was all but burning at your neck, and you realized your lips were curled into a smile that was broad enough it made your cheeks hurt. You were.. happy. Absolutely happy. Whatever had happened between you and Dave, it had fixed the problem before it truly could get started and restored the world to its rightful state of reunion. This was what you'd missed last night when your worry hung in your mind as tangible as spoiled milk.

    “I missed you, Dave,” you whispered, and hugged yourself as tightly as you could. The warmth stopped bouncing around to hold perfectly still for a moment before surging into both of your arms. You realized you couldn't move them again, both hands locked firmly to your upper arms before they began to make rubbing motions, not quite numb but not quite usable. You may have hugged yourself, but you didn't exactly expect 'yourself' to hug you back.

    “Could you feel that too, Dave? Is that why you're doing this?”

    This was unexplored territory, and held plenty of implications you were sure, but in the moment you didn't give a fuck. That fulfilled sensation, the warmth, the foreign feeling of your own hands on your arms that steadily trailed up towards your throat and then your own face as if they were the hands of another? All of it was new and all of it was just memories for the making and taking. You were getting to hug Dave in a flesh and blood way, even if it were only for the moment, and nothing could ever take that away from you. Nobody could claim it was impossible.

    ... John..

    Were you. ..Were you crying? You weren't crying, were you? You were. You could feel hot trails on your face that cooled quickly, and the warmth in your chest was soon joined by a clenching that released in a huffed sob. It was relief, you told yourself. The full relief of everything being okay and returning to normal, of nothing being wrong finally, of questions being answered and of that all but overwhelming sensation of not being alone anymore in your own skin.

    Your right hand lifted to rub your nose as you snorted in an ungainly way to clear your nose. Your left hand, outside of your control, carefully rubbed some of the water from your eyes with its fingertips.

    ...Don't cry...

    “Don't tell me what to do,” you snuffed. “I'll cry if I feel like it, do you have any idea how scared I was that you were gone forever? And then I get you back and you-! And. And you acted like you weren't really there even when you were in front of me and now everything's just. Everything's okay! Everything's okay now!”

    ...Still crying...

    “Shut up and let me have this,” you mumbled. Though the one hand stayed near your face, the arm you were able to move went to hug tight around your rib cage again, trying to hold everything together in case it somehow fell apart or flew away to the breeze. “Let me have this.. Let me have you,” you murmured.

    The tension in your chest lifted and the warmth returned to your limbs, trying to spread to all four at once before it ricocheted around your rib cage again and went straight to your head. You didn't mind the dizziness or the slight ring in your ears, so long as you got to hug it out just a little bit longer.

    “Stay with me like this. Even just a while longer, Dave. ..Please.”

    The warmth stayed, solid and still as stone. You had a feeling it wouldn't be going anywhere any time soon and were grateful. You'd tell the good news to everyone else soon enough. For the time being, though, this happiness was all yours.

[lachalaine]

dun dun dududuuuuun !! bonjour, hello, and i wish only the happiest of holidays to all !! it’s the end of the year again, and while i’ll personally admit it’s been a huge mess of one on my side of things, i must say that i’m very thankful for a lot of what’s occurred this year as well, especially for me with regards to the rp community on tumblr ! it was a year of ups and downs and while i wasn’t as active as i would have liked to be due to the constancy of irl concerns, i’ve still somehow managed to acquire a severely supportive and absolutely wonderful set of mutuals that have made me feel very so welcome on here time and time again, making tumblr out to be what i would seriously consider to be one of the few sanctuaries i have left that i hold dear to my heart. being on here has legitimately been actual therapy for my mental health in the months that have passed, and i only have you all to thank for it ! your mere presence on here, whether or not we might have spoken on a near constant basis or even just once in a blue moon ( because i know i tend to evaporate into thin air once every few days without warning sdbhdbahda ) or even potentially never has been a real source of joy for me, even if all i was able to do was generally just take a seat back and watch you having fun on the dash. 

thank you for being such positive and such creative individuals on here, for putting so much of yourselves into a hobby, for spending your time and energy on creating new worlds with us with your characters, and just generally being such absolute inspirations for everyone. thank you as well for still being here and for accepting me and my muse onto your dashboards and for allowing us the chance to impact your tumblr experience, despite that we’ve had more then a few slip ups this year that we’re still trying to catch up on. we’ve never felt more accepted by the community ( nor have i ever felt like more of a mess, but you take the good with the bad and roll with it guess dbshdbsa ) and i sincerely appreciate you guys never giving up on me, no matter what !

your genuine patience and kind understanding has been a blessing for me and her in so many ways, and i’m thankful that we can still be here at the end of this year to hopefully make up for all that we’ve missed and failed to do with you guys, and still attempt to try to come in strong for the next one. i’m hoping as well to repay everyone for all that you’ve done for me this year, because i’m not exaggerating when i say i don’t think i could have made it through without your support !! whether it’s been a small ask or a short im message or even just a spare like on one of my posts, it all has meant so, so much to me, and though i know people will say that tumblr is a hellscape, somehow this community still manages to power through the bullshit to make it one of the most welcoming platforms i’ve ever had the chance to be on, and i’m thankful for the chance to be considered a part of it. it’s allowed me to meet all of you, people that i don’t know i would have ever had the opportunity to meet otherwise, and that alone has been an experience i would hate to ever have to lose. 

thanks for being here for me and for jackie, through our times of stilted growth and near constant stumbles, and thanks for giving me the strength of heart to keep moving forward, and to keep trying !! i know for a fact i wouldn’t be nearly as stable irl if i didn’t have this hobby to keep me grounded, and honestly - being here is one of the best decisions i have ever made in MY LIFE. bless you, ily and thank you xx

and so below the cut i just have some quick ( lol ) messages for a few friends that really just made such a grand impact on my year, i don’t know where i would be without them. i also just want to make a quick shout out to the people that have made my dashboard what it is - a haven for creativity and laughter and inspiration, and a place where i feel most accepted and at peace. if i might have missed you, please don’t take offense to it, there’s just a lot of people on my dash and honestly my head is spinning already but ily too please don’t doubt it and thank you !! 

for the people that i just generally really adore on my dashboard but have also made such a grand impact on my muse and i in 2018, i just want to say THANK YOU for sharing your time and your efforts with me, for sending me asks and for writing with me or even if we haven’t written together yet - just thank you for being my friend and for being here !! I KNOW IM STILL CATCHING UP TO THINGS IM AT 115 ON MY INBOX AND NOT TO MENTION MY DRAFTS BUT I’LL MAKE SURE TO FULFILL EVERYTHING I OWE YOU GUYS ASAP! thanks for being so patient with me and for giving me countless chances and for those of you checking up on me and also offering me your support when i needed a friend - thanks for being such absolutely incredible people! 

i really adore you guys more then you know and i hope 2019 gives us a chance to do more together, because i feel a lot like there’s so much more to work on and i’m so excited to get to it all with you! also YOU GUYS ARE SERIOUSLY AMAZING WRITERS AND IM CONSTANTLY IN AWE AND READING YOUR WORK BECAUSE ITS ALWAYS SO MUCH FUN AND I LEARN A LOT AND YOU GUYS ARE REALLY INSPIRING OKAY I JUST NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR TALENTS WITH ME I AM THANKFUL FOR THIS CHANCE ALWAYS !!!

@dialforsnacc / @jaxyu / @saikuru-no-owari / @mikrifotia / @niirmohii / @aureumrex / @endgcme / @ncughts / @univentorem / @moonsought / @valhallic / @tamenteki / @lifedenied / @necrophagic / @spellbiinding / @hathlived / @manypcths / @odigxs / @brynhildrofromantia / @portalipsis / @pridesglasses / @luseron / @ghxstlyrxveries / @nanpoghan / @lordspreyer / @moonsought / @sukkubxs / @hhemeraa / @xaconite / @imperterritus / @astcrii

thank you all sincerely for everything, and i do really hope i managed to get most everyone asdbhasbdha i know im missing quite a few people but even if you’re not on the list, please know i adore you, thank you !! also moving forward these are the uhm -- ‘short’ messages i promised, sorry for babbling on and all but thanks for reading through, i appreciate it !! 

@bestiatexere // momochiiiii !!!!! the best twinsie !! the sweetest twinsie !! the most amazing and seriously the most incredible person friend i have ever had the absolute pleasure to write with! not only write with, but plot with and ship with AND DHBSDHBASHDS GIRL I SWEAR IT HAS BEEN AN ABSOLUTE BLESSING FOR ME THAT WE STUMBLED ON EACH OTHER THE WAY WE DID. IT COULDN’T HAVE COME AT A BETTER TIME. we’ve been through a shit ton together since the day we met, and it’s been a hell of a roller coaster ( like holy shit, i can’t believe the crap we went through tHIS YEAR ALONE !! ) but thankfully we managed to get through it all in one piece! and though i know we’re exhausted beyond belief and kinda wanna pass out to hibernate for a few weeks until we’re ready to face the world again, i know we unfortunately don’t quite have that kind of luck on our side just yet. but someday !! someday soon!! someday we’ll have the chance to write and plot and make sure our kids get all the happy endings ( and angst endings hihihi ) they could ever WANT OR NEED AND DHSAHDBASH HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU HOW HAPPY AND LUCKY I AM THAT I SOMEHOW MANAGED TO GET TO BE YOUR FRIEND ?? you are a blessing through and through, always giving so much of yourself and trying your best no matter what! you’ve been able to keep me grounded when i’ve felt like i’ve been a ghost, and you’ve been such a constant source of comfort and support when i’ve been lost. the fact that you’re always so understanding and kind to me even when i’m like this has been such a treasure to me, i never want to make you feel like i ever take your friendship for granted. i am seriously so absolutely lucky that you’ve given me this chance to write with you and your incredible muses, because you give all you can for them, and your effort shows. in heart, mind and words, in ideas and plots and all the gifs we squeal and scream over constantly --- these things have gotten me through my days when the world seemed very bleak, and i am thankful that you’ve chosen to share these treasures with me. you are the one person where i feel like we’re constantly on the same page and i can be an anxious mess with you and also a dork with you and ITS SO COMFORTABLE IM SO LUCKY !!! YOU’RE MY BESTEST TWIN. SOMEONE I CONSIDER ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS. AND I CONSTANTLY ADORE YOU AND AM IN AWE OF YOU AND YOUR TALENTS AND ABILITIES EVERY DAY YOU GET TO SHARE IT WITH ME. U ARE A BLESSING. NEVER FORGET. YOU’RE THE BEST GIRL AND I HOPE YOU NEVER EVER HAVE TO FEEL OTHERWISE AGAIN !!

@kuebcko // SCALEEEEEEEEY !!! hello hi ily thank you for always being there for me :((((((( honestly, i don’t know how you manage to do it but somehow i feel like you have a j warning alert somewhere in your mind, that just kinda pops up an alert whenever you feel like im sad or need a friend AND LET ME TELL YOU, IT IS WORKING LIKE A CHARM. like, i don’t know if i’ve ever mentioned this, but i’ll be feeling anxious or lowkey down in the dumps, and even if i try to keep it quiet because i KNOW YOU WORRY ABOUT MEEEEE AND IM SORRY I DON’T WANT YOU TO WORRY BUT IT MEANS A LOT THAT U DO !! even if i try to keep it quiet, you still somehow manage to come in with like this one cute positivity ask or even just a cute pinterest pin for me to look at ( which btw YOUR AESTHETIC SENSE IS ALWAYS ON POINT !! ) AND HOLY HECK IT BRIGHTENS UP MY DAY LIKE U WOULDN’T BELIEVE. its like a guaranteed HAPPY switch for me, that just turns my day from :( to :D :”> :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD JUST LIKE THAT. you have helped me through so many of my days, even without trying. you’ve always supported me and tried your best to cheer me up, offering me a shoulder to cry on or vent to when you knew things were rough. and you’ve always been so, so understanding of me and my current predicament THAT I DON’T KNOW AT THIS POINT HOW YOU PUT UP WITH ME BECAUSE IM THE WORST AND MOST UNRELIABLE PERSON EVER AND ITS TERRIBLE AND IM SORRY BUT THANK YOU FOR NEVER GIVING UP ON ME :(((( YOU ALWAYS SPARK THE WARMEST LIGHT IN MY HEART AND I NEVER FAIL TO SMILE WHEN I SEE A MESSAGE FROM YOU. AND ALL I WISH FOR IN THE FUTURE IS THE GENUINE HOPE THAT IM ABLE TO DO THE SAME FOR YOU. i know you’re still uncertain of your work and what you do, and it hurts my heart to see you so anxious about things, and i know no amount of words might help take that frustration you feel away. but i must tell you, no matter what you write - your heart and your soul has always been able to resonate so intensely through your writing and your muses, that it always takes those of us that that get the chance to read it on a trip! one that we’re very reluctant to get off of, and one where we’re constantly looking forward to whatever else you’ve got up your sleeve. whatever else you have in mind to do, scaley, i hope you’re given the chance to do it, because i know you’ll be a success at it either way. thank you for always being there for me, and for always being there for so many of us that need a smile or a cheer just to get us through our days. i hope that in the coming year, i can be more present as your friend, and i hope i can be that same source of joy for you as well. 

@soulmauled​ // SHIROOOOO !!! hello hello hi hi hi can i smother you in hugs for YEARS PLEASE YOU MAKE ME SO HAPPY ALL THE TIME AND IM SO HAPPY YOU’RE AROUND HONESTLY !! i know we don’t get to talk too much and that when we reply to each other its usually always more then a few days or weeks later but dhbashdbsah DO U KNOW I DON’T MIND AT ALL?? because so long as we get to chat once in a blue moon, that’s enough to make me happy! you’re honestly the absolute sweetest person i have ever met, and any time i get an ask for a chat from you, you’ve always been able to make me giggle, no matter how sad i might have been initially. you make my heart feel lighter, and i’m always glad when i get to hear of how you’re doing, and i’m always hoping that things are going well for you. thank you for always sending me things to answer from your boys, and for always doing your best to answer the things i manage to send you as well! i appreciate you doing the memes i tag you in all the time too because reading your results always makes me happy! idk honestly you’re just - you’re just a very sweet and soft presence to me all the time, and being able to be your friend is a blessing i wouldn’t exchange the world for and i appreciate you so very, very much! i hope your 2019 is an incredible year for you in all the ways possible, and i wish you a lot of happiness and good health! ALSO I WISH TO PROVIDE YOU WITH MORE JACKIE MOMENTS BECAUSE JACKIE BEING WITH YOUR BOYS IS A GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING AND I RESOLVE TO PROVIDE MORE OF IT FOR THE BOTH OF THEM DHSBADHBSAH BLESS 

@bathed-in-red // RO !!!! SNUGGLES YOU FOREVER OH MY GOSH, I MISS YOU. THANK YOU FOR POPPING IN EVERY SO OFTEN WITH THE LIKES AND THE ASKS. THANK YOU FOR STILL BEING HERE AND FOR STILL SUPPORTING ME AND BEING AROUND. i miss writing with you so much and i hope we get the chance to do so again in the future. i hope things are going better for you in every way, and i hope your mum is doing well. i know things have been rough for you too and i wish 2019 would be better for both of us. please take care of yourself always and be safe. im so happy to see you every now and then honestly, and though we dont always get the chance to talk, im happy in the moments we do. i know we’re both busy as fuck and potentially always hibernating BUT. I ADORE YOU ALWAYS AND IM SO HAPPY THAT EVEN IF WE SPEND DAYS AND MONTHS APART, YOU’RE ALWAYS SOMEONE I KNOW I CAN DEPEND ON. thanks for being there. thanks for watching out for me. i hope things get better for you too and if you ever need anything on my end, please let me know. i’ll do whatever i can to be there for you, as best as can be. i adore you ro, and i miss you and roppi loads. take care always and be safe and ilyyyyy BIGGEST HUGGIES AND SNUGGLES HAPPIEST OF NEW YEARS TO YOU BBY YOU’RE THE BEST!

@valorandheart // KELLYY !!! HI HELLO EXCUSE ME DO U KNOW HOW HAPPY YOU MANAGE TO MAKE ME ALL THE DAMN TIME?? whether its with jamie or sanford, reading your messages or little comments and asks about the most random of the things i post always has the amazing ability to perk me up and make me laugh out loud whenever i get the chance to read them !! you’re such an incredibly uplifting and joyful person honestly, and im so happy we get to write together and plot together EVEN IF I POOF INTO NONEXISTENCE AND GET BACK TO THINGS IN LIKE A MONTH OR TWO ( IM SO SORRY !!! ) ITS ALWAYS INTERACTIONS WITH YOU THAT ALWAYS MAKE ME FEEL SO LIGHT AND HAPPY AND HONESTLY YOU’RE HILARIOUS AND FUN AND ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL IN EVERY WAY !! i’m so lucky that i’ve been able to write this plot out with you, even if ITS TAKING ME YEARS TO RESPOND TO THINGS. AND OUR PAIR IS ALWAYS ON A TURBULENT ROLLER COASTER THAT WE CANT ALWAYS FIGURE OUT BUT SOMEHOW THEY MANAGE TO MAKE IT WORK. its been such a joy for me this whole while though honestly speaking, because i’ve been able to see jackie grow from her experiences with jamie, and learn from him and somehow even try to strive to be a better person because of him. she’s still a mess, but she feels a little more whole, a little more not so lost when she’s with him, and this kind of development is the kind of thing I DREAM FOR. and i can’t wait to see where they end up!! or rather I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHEN THEY FINALLY GET A KISS IN AND ALSO WHEN THEY EVENTUALLY STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM THEIR FEELINGS OKAY IT’LL BE AMAZING !! also I WANT TO SEE SANFORD AND JACKIE INTERACT AND YELL AT EACH OTHER OKAY ITS A NEED AT THIS POINT WE BETTER DO SOMETHING IN 2019 OR ELSE IMMA SCREAM IN ALL HEADERS OKIE THAT WOULD BE BAD FOR THE BOTH OF US IT CANNOT HAPPEN EVER DHSABDHAS WE’LL WORK ON THIS OKAY OKAY THANK YOU WHOOOO !! 

@weiwuxiian // LIGHT HI HELLO I KNOW I ALREADY TOLD U EVERYTHING IN THE TAGS THE OTHER DAY ON YOUR OWN END OF YEAR THING SO ILL TRY TO MAKE THIS QUICK, AHEM !! i just want to say THANK YOU. for being around for being my friend. i know i’m not the best person at keeping in contact at all, which is totally bad considering we have the same timezone, but i really really appreciate you being around !! being able to be your friend and also getting to write with you! you have such a brightness about you that is so wonderful to see in all honesty, and any muse you pick up somehow manages to radiate it! you are also so very sensible and kind, and i’m very lucky that we were able to get our muses to connect the way they did. libra and jackie will always be one of my favorite ships, and i know i still have some things i owe for him in my ask box, and even if you’re on hiatus with him rn, i must tell you that seeing you so happy on wwx is just as interesting for me as seeing you on libra. i hope school and everything is going well for you, i hope you were able to achieve your goals for the year but also get some time to rest for yourself. i really look up to you in all honesty, you’re one of my biggest inspirations and i hope we get to write our muses together again someday soon. also i hope we get to plot and chat lots again in the future hihi i really miss talking to you tbh !! i hope your new years is amazing and i just gotta say - i’m so thankful to have you as my friend! thankful and lucky and blessed that i was able to meet you this year and get to know you the way i did, and i so constantly wish you all the best!! 

@richkicl // hello jae !!! gosh, i know its been a hell of a long time since we’ve spoken properly, but i hope you’ve been doing well !! we’ve missed you a ton since you’ve left, but we’ve also been cheering you on all this time even though you’ve been away! i’ve been rooting for you, and i know your absence on the dashboard was felt, but i hope you’ve been well and things have gotten better for you in the time that’s passed. I STILL OWE YOU A THREAD FOR SHOYA, BUT IDK IF YOU’RE STILL UP FOR DOING IT BUT IF YOU AREN’T THATS OKIE DOKIE !! i just hope you’re doing okay, honestly. thank you for always offering me a chance to talk about my problems, and for always giving me such solid advice when i need it. you’re one person who’s always been very rational but also so enthusiastic and kind, and being able to plot and write with you has always been the greatest fun for me. i look forward to seeing you around again soon, but please always take your time no matter what. i wish you well, and i wish you an amazing new year. thank you for always making me laugh, and for encouraging me to be more open and be more upbeat. honestly, its because i met you that i feel as comfortable as i do today, and i want to thank you for being such a positive individual, more then anything else. you’re amazing and i adore you, and im so lucky i’ve had the chance to be your friend!! i hope we get to talk again soon. HAPPY NEW YEAR, AND I MISS YOU !! 

@astrumtristis // LULU. HI I MISS YOU. i miss you a lot and gosh, its been a while. i wish we spoke more often, as much as we used to honestly. things seemed a lot simpler back then, tbh. i know things have been going rough for you lately, and --- i’m really sorry that things have turned out the way they did. i want to give you a small thank you however, because somehow, despite all your own troubles, you’ve managed to take some time out to give me your support as well. honestly, you’ve been a prominent part of the reason i was able to get through the year, as your constant strength has given me the will to keep moving forward. my only hope is that through your own burdens, i might be able to provide that same amount of support to you, as much as i am able to from so far away. the things you’ll be facing from now on will be difficult, more so then anything i’ve ever had to face, but i’ve always been in awe of your strength and your vitality, lulu, and i hope in even the smallest of ways - i might be able to somehow support you and make the road ahead easier for you to traverse in any way possible. please let me know if you ever need a friend. if you ever need anything at all. i’m here for you, as much as you might need me. no matter what, you have my thoughts and my well wishes for everything to get better for you in the end. you’re strong lulu, one of the strongest people i know, and you can surmount this. we’ll fight the universe together if you need backup !! just say the word and i’m there !! do your best lulu, and i hope the next year, and every year after - is the best ever. happy new year bby !!

@vxtxation​ // MIKA !!! oh my gosh where do i even start ?? do you know, you are one of those people i just absolutely look up to no matter what? i’ve always admired your work when i first saw you writing with jae, and idk how we got to being friends but !! IM SO HAPPY WE BECAME FRIENDS TBH. we dont’ talk too much but holy heck i gotta say ALL YOUR MESSAGES ALWAYS MAKE ME SO HAPPY. youre just such a positive person who’s honestly really really cool !! not to mention talented in both writing and art !! i’ve told you this before but your art has always so incredibly wonderful to me! the expressions you give them, the creativity in their situations and the emotion is them is so very clear to anyone who sees it, i feel so ?? lucky ?? to have been on the receiving end of some your work?? I STILL KEEP THEM IN MY PHONE OKAY. also i look back on that one happy but crying jackie pic and my heart just !! gets all warm and light and i want to hug you so so much for that one !! THAT WAS. PERFECTION. IN A PICTURE. AND I DONT KNOW WHAT I DID TO DESERVE IT BUT IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME. it stood out at a time when i needed support the most, and you didn’t have to but you did and GOD IM JUST REALLY LUCKY. TO HAVE THE CHANCE TO BE YOUR FRIEND. i hope to see so much more of your work in the year to come and i hope 2019 is kind to you. I HOPE WE GET TO WRITE A LOT MORE TOGETHER TOO IM NOT GIVING YOU NO 6 MONTH DELAY ANYMORE I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL NOT ALLOW IT. THANKS FOR BEING PATIENT ALL THROUGHOUT AND FOR BEING SO SUPPORTIVE. YOU’RE INCREDIBLE AND AMAZING AND I APPRECIATE YOU MORE THEN YOU KNOW. THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU AND I HOPE YOU HAVE THE HAPPIEST NEW YEAR IN THE WORLD !!

@tragicalyouth // ASH BBY !!! IM SO GLAD YOU’RE BACK !! i know its been a while since we’ve written together or plotted together or even chatted at all, but i’m hoping we get the chance to do so again soon !! i’m glad to see you picking things up where they left off, and to see you happy and well. im looking forward to more atsu and jackie interactions soon, and i hope they’re able to advance from their convoluted mess of frenemy/crush hahahaha !! they’re still one of my favorite pairings and im looking forward to seeing whatever is in store for them in the future !! i hope your 2019 goes really well, and you’re the happiest you’ve ever been. thanks for always sending me asks as well, I STILL HAVE SOME TO ANSWER FROM YOU BECAUSE I DROPPED THE BALL ON RP STUFF IN JUNE AND IM STILL CATCHING UP BUT IM LOOKING FORWARD TO IT !! i hope we get to chat lots soon and i hope i get to see a lot more of you on the dashboard in the year to come! thank you for always being so supportive and kind as well, and i’m wishing the best for you too! do your best, and happy new year bby !! YOU DESERVE ONLY THE GREATEST! 

anyway THATS ALL I WAS GONNA DO THIS WHEN I REACHED 500 FOLLOWERS AND IM LIKE 45 FOLLOWERS FROM THAT AND I DONT CARE ABOUT THE COUNT ANYMORE I HAVEN’T SQUEALED ABOUT PEOPLE ALL YEAR THIS IS MY CONTRIBUTION TO THE FANGIRL OF MY MUTUALS OKAY I LOVE YOU ALL OKAY HAPPY NEW YEAR AND HAVE THE BEST YEAR EVER ALL THE LOVE AND GAMBATTE !!

[coffeetoxication]

the link to ch 9 of without hesitation doesnt work :( btw love your fanfic so far!! i adore the characterization that youve put in

With the witching hour rolling in and Ren being wide awake due to the number of naps that he’s had today, he was playing around on his phone while Stimpy is fast asleep. After their little fun that they’ve had in the bath including having a long make out session in the shower, Ren couldn’t really get Johnathan out of his mind. He hasn’t really texted him ever since this morning and he was starting to worry if he was making Johnathan feel left out. With a sigh, he got out from the bed quietly as he could and went downstairs towards the kitchen. He was debating if he should make some coffee or not. Though he didn’t want to be too wired, he pulls out his messages to see if Johnathan messaged him yet.

Of course, nothing.

Putting his phone down on the kitchen counter, he peeked through the blinds of the window to look to see if there was anything going on. To his surprise, nothing. However, he did notice …. something just across the street. No, it was someone. Someone leaning against their car with what seems to be a cigarette in his hand. Considering that the guy was right under the street light, his hat had completely overshadowed his face. This was creepy beyond Ren’s comfort levels. The fact that this guy was just …. standing there and possibly staring right at him made his skin crawl. The guy probably knew that he was in there. Ren thanked himself that he didn’t turn on the living room lamp on. Though making sure that all windows and doors are locked is a must.

“Creepy fucker.” Ren mumbled to himself as he quickly went to make sure that all doors and windows were absolutely shut and locked.

God only knows of what this guy wants. Frankly, Ren didn’t WANT to know.

Kitchen, bathroom, living room, guest room, … everything seemed locked and untouched from the first floor. Now, the last room to check was upstairs bedroom and bathroom. Looking up, he suddenly hated on how the stairs looked. Dark and ominous. Letting his imagination get the best of him like a scared child. Thinking such irrational silly things like hands coming out of the walls and underneath the stairs and drag him away.

“ … run up the stairs you fuckin’ pussy …” Ren tells himself, taking a deep breath and closes his eyes tightly.

Just like that, Ren ran up as quickly as he could, almost tripping a couple of times.

Reaching upstairs, Ren felt the relief overcome him. Knowing that Stimpy was in the bedroom practically snoring made him feel calm for once. Tip-toeing around the remaining rooms, Ren felt something that was rather … off. He really couldn’t put his finger on it, but it felt as if he was being watched. He didn’t dare to think that there were more of them out there. God, he had hoped and prayed that the one by the street light is just the one.

Making sure, and very much sure that he was going to regret it, he goes by the bedroom blinds and goes to check outside carefully. The worst part of it was that it was completely dark. Not even the street lights were bright enough to pierce the darkness of their backyard. In a way, it kind of relieved him. If it was too dark to see outside, it would be too dark for anybody to see anything from the inside. It was possibly his own paranoia that was making him feel this way. He was contemplating about calling the cops, but the guy would’ve been far from gone by the time they get here. What would he tell them? That some creepy fuck was outside his house and he had no idea of what he looked like? Yeah. Sure.

With an exhausted sigh, he got into bed slowly and crawled inside the covers. It was hard to believe, but Ren was scared. Very scared to the point where he began to shiver.

Feeling Stimpy’s warmth radiating from him, Ren scooted himself closer to him. Even tightly wrapping both of his arms around Stimpy’s. Closing his eyes tightly. Ears picking up the clanks and creaks of the house resting making him think it was someone lurking around.

“S-stimpy …?” Ren whimpered, “S …… stimpy?”

With a few shakes and even a good harsh nudges with his knees, he finally got him to wake up and to cease his obnoxious snoring.

“Mmmmm, hmmm?” Stimpy groaned, one eye peeking at Ren.

“I … I can’t sleep …….” Ren whispered.

“Oh? …..” Stimpy rubs his eyes, almost on the verge of falling asleep again. “How come?”

Ren wanted to tell Stimpy about the man he had seen. However, it would probably turn out to be one of those cliche scenes where he would say something and then the man would be long gone by now. Ren didn’t really know of what to say. He was conflicted if he should tell another lie or tell Stimpy of what’s really going on for a change. Did he really need to worry about it? Would he really understand? Probably not.

“N-Nevermind, … I’ll tell ya in the mornin’.” Ren mumbled, pulling the covers over him.

“Mmmm, …. okaaayyy …” Stimpy yawns as he wraps an arm around him.

From there, Ren felt an immediate sense of security. Stimpy pulling him into a sleepy embrace made him feel so stupidly warm and fluttery inside. Letting Stimpy do whatever he wants, he closes his eyes to drift into a calm sleep.

*~*~*~*~

With the remaining hours left before sunrise, Johnathan remained awake in the home of Mr. Horse. The environment around him was … overwhelming. He wasn’t used to being in homes that were filled with expensive furniture, antiques, and bookcases larger than himself. All he’s ever known was cheap hotels, trailer parks, and beat down apartments. Everything was a struggle. To do what he had to do to keep a roof over himself along with his father, it didn’t matter how filth-ridden the place was, it was home.

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t envious. To be in a high-class house like this, it was like a dream. A dream that was his a long time ago back in college. How all of his hard work studying and working long-shifts would pay off. How life would owe him in the end.

But life has it’s own set of rules. How cruel and unfair it can be. Johnathan understood that reality. If only his father would. If he knew then of what he knows now, none of this would’ve happened.

However, …. there’s no point dwelling on it now. Johnathan was far too tired to really cause his body anymore stress. He didn’t want to bother to look at his phone either.

Maybe a book would help. It’s been a while since he’s really picked up a book. Not that he wanted to. Just never found the time.

Getting up from his bed in the guest room, he makes his way towards the living room as he turns a lamp on. The hardwood floor cold beneath his feet, it was oddly comforting. The room itself had a cozy atmosphere. An unlit fireplace with a widescreen t.v above it, two leather reading chairs, a couch that looks to be soft to the touch, a mahogany book case that was filled with a variety of books it seems, and finally … a simple rug in the middle of the room. Letting out a content sigh, Johnathan begins to scan through the book case with the tip of his index finger. Psychology, sociology, psychopathology, neuropsychology, philosophy, some written by independent authors about their experiences as therapists, and … even some poetry. H.P Lovecraft, Tennessee Williams, Sylvia Plath, and even Edgar Allan Poe. Haven’t heard that name since high school, he thought. Feeling nostalgic, he pulled out the book of which contained all of Poe’s notorious writings and poems.  

Johnathan remembered how he had to do a report about Poe and what writing of his influenced him the most while Ren had Emily Dickinson. The echoing voice of Ren’s complaining ringed in his ears.

“Seriously, how am I supposed to understand this poetic shit? If I really wanted to be THIS depressed I would’ve gone through my ol’ man’s ‘secret’ stash.”

“The whole point of understanding these poets, Ren, is that they’ve used this type of writing to expel their anguishes even if may seem out of the norm. Not a lot of people back in those times really understood depression or how to properly deal with it.”

“Okay there, Mr. Analysis, no need to go all out on me. Ya might choke. Who you workin’ on?”

“Edgar Allan Poe.”

“Hmm, never heard of ‘im. Is he just as depressing as dickson or whatever the fuck her name is?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that, but he has a unique style of writing. He kind of adds a little bit of horror in his works which gives it an extra edge to it, but I guess if I had to pick any of his works that I can relate to in a sense, is ‘Alone’.”

Alone.

Flipping the pages of the book, Johnathan had found it.

From childhood’s hour I have not beenAs others were–I have not seenAs others saw–I could not bringMy passions from a common spring–From the same source I have not takenMy sorrow–I could not awakenMy heart to joy at the same tone–And all I lov’d–I lov’d alone–

“And all I loved … I loved alone …” Johnathan whispered to himself, frowning as he did.

The nostalgia he felt now were tugged heart strings. Feeling the repressed pain that he had felt all those years were now swarming like a dropped wasps nest. This was not how he wanted to spend the rest of the night. Being all melancholy in a home that wasn’t his.

Deciding to put the book away, he started to look for something less depressing.  

While searching, his ear caught the sound of the floor creaking only to realize that someone was stepping inside of the living room. It startled him as he swiftly turned his head to find Mr. Horse by the entrance way. With his heart racing he stepped back from the bookcase as if to say “I wasn’t touching anything!”. However, seeing a small smile on Mr. Horse’s face made him relax.

“I see that you have taking a liking to my collection here …” He said, his voice hoarse as if he had just woken up.

“Y-Yeah, … I c-couldn’t really sleep, so I thought that reading would help. I … didn’t wake you up, did I?” Johnathan looked down, rubbing his arm in embarrassment.

“Of course not. I suppose you can call it an intuition. I always know when one is restless, so my body acts accordingly.” Mr. Horse shakes his had, placing a hand on Johnathan’s shoulder.

Johnathan can’t really have himself to forget on how gentle Mr. Horse with. The way he talks, how soft his touch is, and the welcoming aura around him makes Johnathan wish that he knew more people like him.  

“So, … may I ask of what is troubling you?” Mr. Horse took a seat on the couch, patting the spot right next to him.

With a deep sigh, Johnathan sat right next to him as he drooped his head. Elbows resting on his thighs with his fingers holding his chin, he wasn’t sure on where to start.

“Just …. everything. Me questioning of my own sanity, my … fucking dad, the thought of the mafia looking to serve my ol’ mans head on a silver platter to the head honcho, and ya know … asking myself of what the fuck I’m doing here.” Johnathan said, “Why ….. did I have to come here ….?”

Lowering his head even more, Johnathan felt as if he was tearing apart inside. He felt so lost into everything that it was hard to really try to tackle all of these problems at once. Johnathan had always had this sense of pride that he could try to outcome any situation even if it meant life and death. However, one could only handle the same situation multiple times to where they have come to the end of their rope. Johnathan, … was very much at the end of his …

“My dear boy, ….” Mr. Horse starts, “It doesn’t take a therapist to know on how much you’re currently going through. How emotionally and mentally straining everything is on you.”

Johnathan could only scoff at the obvious, not that Mr. Horse was wrong but just how true his words are.

“If I may be so bold as to give you suggestions to make it easier not only for you, but for your father as well. In return, you have to do something for me.”

“ …. Suggestions?”

“Yes. Now, listen carefully …”

[ididntlookback]

IDK I CANT THINK OF ANYTHING BUT PLS WRITE SOMETHING CUZ IM DESPERATE AFTER S6

that’s a big phat mood so have this super self indulgent things i wrote. This is what i picture having happened right after where s6 leaves off. Btw, because i’m klance trash i put a tiny little romantic undertone here but feel free to read this and just think of it as a friendship (wc: 2,000)

Keith looked up into space. He looked as far as his eyes could reach, and he saw things- stars, planets, whatever else was out there- he saw them sparkle. They’d glow brighter and then they’d go back to normal. They’d shine for a few seconds and then tone back down.

Keith saw space like that every day he’d been away from earth, especially on the back of that whale- there hadn’t been much more to do than look up. These sparkles, though, they felt so different as Keith stood on a random rock in space, his temporary home gone but his brother back.

It felt like those stars were shining for Keith and his team. The stars and the unknown were applauding them.

Or maybe Keith was just really out of it.

He felt as though he hadn’t sat down in ages. A small bit of adrenalin was still coursing through him from his fight with ‘Shiro’ and Lotor. His heart was still pounding from how close he had been to losing Shiro.

The team was still on the same rock they landed on to heal Shiro. They had decided to go back to earth, but after such an intense day they needed to rest before their long trip home.

Shiro- new and improved- was resting in the Black lion. Pidge and Hunk were doing maintenance on the Lions but taking frequent breaks in between their work. Allura was taking it easy as well, the magic having taken a lot out of her. She, Coran, and Romelle were chatting about the new Altean that Keith and Krolia had discovered. Krolia, her mother’s instinct acting up, was checking up on everyone to make sure they were okay.

Keith didn’t know what he was doing. Shiro was okay, and so was everyone else. For the time being, the team didn’t have a mission- they certainly weren’t going to free people of galra control with just the lions and no home base. With nothing big on Keith’s plate, he just… didn’t know what he was doing. He didn’t know what he was suppose to be doing.

Keith had gotten pats on the backs and ‘good jobs’ from the team after their battle, plus a hug from his mom. She had told him to sit and rest, but at the time Keith was still hopped up on adrenaline.

Keith looked up at the sky and felt the stars applauding them. That was what he was doing.

There was a certain star that shined more than the others- it must’ve been a planet. Keith took a few tentative steps toward it, as if those few steps would reveal the mystery of the lights identity to him.

He found himself doing the same thing as before, just watching the sky shine.

“What are you doing?”

Keith was so out of it that he almost yelled at the sound of the voice, surprising him. He looked at the source of the sound and saw Lance only a few feet away. He was sitting against the red lion, his arms folded and his legs crossed in front of him.

“Hm?” Keith asked.

“What are you doing?” Lance repeated.

The question wasn’t snarky, which was the tone Keith most acquainted with Lance, it was just curious. Keith couldn’t help but notice that it sounded worn, as well. His voice was a bit gritty, and it wasn’t as loud and piercing as Lance usually sounded.

“Oh,” Keith said. “I don’t really know. What are you doing?”

“Just sitting,” Lance responded.

“Why aren’t you over with the others?”

“There’s not much for me to be doing over there.”

The two didn’t talk for a few seconds. Keith didn’t know what to say.

“Uh, can I sit?” Keith asked, gesturing to the open space next to Lance.

Lance’s eyes squinted slightly, but he nodded yes after a few seconds.

Keith sat, one knee up against his chest and his other leg straight in front of him, next to Lance’s legs. He placed his arm on his propped up knee.

Once he was situated, he looked over at Lance. Lance looked far away, his mind both nowhere and everywhere. He looked… different. Or maybe Keith just didn’t pay close enough attention to Lance before he had left for the blade of marmora.

“Good job,” Lance said, breaking the silence. “You know… leading the team and stuff.”

“Thanks,” Keith said. He glanced over at Lance, who was looking straight in front of himself and into space. Maybe he was looking at the stars as well. “Sorry for snapping at you when I first got back.”

“It’s whatever,” Lance shrugged. “You had bigger things to deal with.”

Keith sighed slightly. What he needed was a joke or two, or at least some sarcasm. The usual team producer of just that seemed out of business, and it was weird. “You alright?”

Lance looked over at Keith. “Yeah, i just have a lot on my mind.”

Keith looked at Lance’s eyes and saw clumps of his long eyelashes dried together. They were from dried tears.

“What did you mean before?” Keith asked, not being able to help himself. “You said that Shiro had tried to contact you.”

Lance sighed and cleaned dirt out from underneath his finger nails. Keith suspected it was more of a way to keep himself occupied than to keep up his hygiene.

He didn’t respond for a few minutes, and neither of them talked. Keith knew that there was nothing else underneath Lance’s fingernails, but he kept picking at them.

“We went on a mission a week or two back,” Lance started, “and we all went into this weird… astral plane thing. I guess it was the consciousness of our lions or something. One by one we disappeared until it was just me and Shiro left.”

Despite sitting by himself and not talking for however long they’d been on that rock, Lance’s voice sounded dry and worn.

“He tried calling out to me. He told me to listen to him, but I couldn’t hear him well. It was kind of like a staticky radio station. Then, we were out of the astral plane. I asked Shiro- or… fake Shiro about it, but he said he didn’t know what i was talking about.”

Lance looked over at Keith, his eyes dark and heavy.

“That was the real Shiro. He was trying to tell me, but i just- i didn’t know- I didn’t figure it out. If i had, we could’ve saved him earlier. But… I didn’t figure it out.”

“Lance,” Keith said gently, “you can’t blame yourself.”

Lance scoffed. “Yeah? Why not?”

“Because you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not that you didn’t figure it out, it’s that you couldn’t possibly have figured it out. You didn’t have enough to go on. If Pidge or Hunk or Allura were in your place, they wouldn’t have been able to figure it out, either.”

“You don’t know that, thought.”

“I’m pretty sure of it,” Keith said. “And anyway, it doesn’t matter, Lance. No one got hurt, and Shiro’s okay now.”

Lance looked over at Keith and looked like he was at least considering Keith’s words. “He’s missing an arm.”

“That’s on me, though,” Keith said with a raised eyebrow. “And he was missing an arm before, anyway.”

Lance laughed lightly. He still looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, but he looked a bit better. Keith was relieved by that.

“Wait here,” Lance said after looking over at Keith.

He walked into the red lion and emerged a few seconds later, holding a metal box Keith identified as the first aid box they all had in their lions.

“What are you doing with that?” Keith asked.

Lance snorted. “Have you looked in a mirror in the past day?”

“There’s… no mirrors to look into,” Keith said, suddenly feeling self conscious.

“Well, you look like shit.”

“Thanks.”

Lance pried open the box and took out a sterilizing wipe. “Can I?” he asked.

Keith didn’t fully process what he was asking, but he said yes.

Lance scooted closer to Keith and lightly pressed at the long burn on Keith’s face. Each dab sent a spike of pain through Keith, but it was bearable.

He was a little surprised at the caring role Lance was taking on. Would he have done this for Keith before he’d left for the blade of Marmora? Then again, would Keith have tried to comfort Lance as he had just done before he had left with the blade?

“Did you mean what you said? That I’ve changed?” Keith found himself asking. Lance was still cleaning his wound. Keith could feel Lance’s breath. His hands were warm.

“Well, yeah,” Lance said. “Your hair’s longer. And you’re taller. And kind of jacked- uh, not that i… pay attention to how jacked you usually are. You’ve also got a mom now, and you just… seem more complete? I don’t know if that makes sense. I just think you’re more confident in who you are now.”

“Oh,” Keith said, surprised by the answer. His heart fluttered a bit.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Lance backtracked. “I still totally hate you. Yuck. As if i’d ever enjoy your presence.”

Keith smirked, Lance’s hands leaving his face after he finished placing a bandage on his cheek. Lance smiled back at him, the air clear and light. There it was, the sarcasm that Keith needed.

Lance sat back where he was before, and Keith relaxed again against the lion. “So, what are gonna do when you get back to earth?” Keith asked.

Lance smiled at the reminder of their destination. He didn’t stop smiling. “I’ll go see my family. I miss them a lot, and I have… however many months we’ve been up here of noogies to make up for to my siblings. No scalp is safe from my wrath.”

Keith laughed at that.

“What about you?”

“Dunno,” Keith said with a shrug. “Not like I have a ton to go back down there for.”

“You can come back with me,” Lance said. He looked a bit surprised by his own words. “If- if you want. You don’t have to. My family is kind of a handful, so i’d get it i-”

“I’d love to meet them,” Keith cut in. “I mean, we’re all a family now, too, right?”

Lance relaxed a bit. “Yeah, we are.”

The two didn’t speak for a while longer. It was comfortable, though, and Keith felt like he just discovered something that he’d been missing.

Lance still looked a bit lost, but who wouldn’t be after what they’d been through the past few days? He seemed distracted from the negative thoughts Keith knew were hacking away at his brain, and Keith was glad he had some relief.

“I missed you, you know,” Lance said quietly.

Keith looked over at Lance, and Lance looked at him. Keith smiled a smile that he didn’t know he had in him. “I missed you, too.”

Lance flashed a smile as bright as the stars Keith had been so hypnotized by before. “Tell my about your time away. Tell me about your mom.”

So Keith did. He talked with Lance for what seemed like forever, the pain in his cheek subsiding but the deep fatigue he felt slowly dawning on him.

This was what Keith was supposed to be doing. He was supposed to be with his family, both old and new.

He looked back up at the applauding stars and imagined how different they’d look on Earth. How different they’d look from a planet that once was so lonely for Keith; how different they’d look when Keith returned to that planet, no longer alone.

[dragongirlafro]

To sort of expand my thoughts on the Ultra Recon Squad;

Honestly, the more I look at these characters, the less and less I’m convinced that these guys are evil. The way they interact with the main character just doesn’t come off as hostile at all. And Zossie’s artwork and overall first impression seems too naïve for her to be a baddie. Looks can be deceiving, I know, but that goes both ways.

The name “Ultra Recon Squad” sounds more like a law enforcement group than the name of an evil team. Kinda like the intergalactic equivalent of the international police on poké earth. But again, in a world where the Aether Foundation was a thing, anything’s on the table at this point

If anything, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that they are the ones who’ll need our help. Ultra Megalopolis has had its main source of light (i. e. its sun, I guess?) stolen by Necrozma, so they’re most likely going across dimensions in order to find other places that are more habitable to either take their main source of light (however the fuck that’d work) or move their population to that place.

… I could possibly see them as being morally clueless and not understand how the Pokémon world works or how their actions could have consequences. That’s the only way I see these guys being problematic at the moment.

Going back on the subject of Ultra Megatropolis (yes im purposefully going to miswrite its name all the time because it’s just too cheesy XD), the world they live in seems really tragic and almost horrifying if you think about it. Their main source of light is gone. That would be like if our sun had disappeared. Without the sun, all life on earth would be fucked. But with that in mind, it’s also hard not to have somewhat of an admiration for these extraterrestrial guys. Their technology is so much more advanced than the Pokémon world’s that they managed to build a small source of light in complete, utter, pitch black. That’s literally god-like.

The last main thing that’s on my mind about these guys is that some people seem to be asking if these guys are aliens. I personally say it depends on what your definition of “alien” means. They obviously come from another world, different than the one the humans in the Pokémon world live in. Because their world lacks any natural light, their skin has become an other-worldly pale, completely devoid of colour (I have no idea why they have coloured hair though. They could have dyed it; but if that’s the case, then why would they colour their skin or clothes as well??)(also I just realized that a race that lives completely without sunlight couldn’t have picked a worse region to land in than sunny, tropical Alola. They’d probably die irl if any of their skin was exposed to light). But at the same time…….. they look human. Like they don’t look biologically different from any of the other human beings in Pokémon, unless they’re hiding some wicked crazy shit underneath their masks and stuff. The fact that they speak English and wear clothes and use Pokémon also kind of solidifies the idea that they’re human… right? I guess it’s kind of an age old question when it comes to sci-fi universes: if human beings live on other planets or in parallel universes, are they aliens or not? It all depends on what you consider an “alien” to be.

… whoa. I did not mean to ramble on like that. Sorry! 😂 I’m really interested to see what the Ultra Recon Squad bring to the table, and I’m a bit more confident now that the overall games won’t be drastically gritty or dark. It is just a Pokémon game after all. I kinda had to remind myself that.

also btw I sure hope that all four squad members appear in both games and they’re not explicitly version exclusives because I need my Ultra bfs and gfs

[chaenergy-blog]

wow it only took my bitCH ASS DAYS TO POST THIS FU LSAKDJFALSKDF IM SORRY MY INTRO IS SO LATE TO HANUEL. my attention span is the size of a gnat and once i do any sort of task for more than five mins i’m like ??? wow filled my quota for the day and the rest is just exHAUSTING and then i get lazy and then i end up putting it off for days until liz yells at me and chels nicely encourages me and then here i am, finally posting it. SO HERE ARE THE QUICK NOTES TO CHAE HANUEL.

BACK THEN...

hanuel has never had a permanent home. he’s lived in the foster care system his whole life, traveling from home to home, most people eventually getting rid of him once they were made aware of his peculiarity. some were scared, some saw him as a nuisance, some just couldn’t understand. to say that hanuel ended up with some intense abandonment issues is a bit of an understatement. it was him against the world for a long time during his childhood, hoping and praying that maybe someone would eventually take him in and keep him. but it never happened. he learned to not get attached to people; because people leave. he never knew his parents. has no idea what their names are or what they look like. he was dropped off at the doorstep of the orphanage when he was just a baby and that was his beginning. 

shit changed for hanuel once he hit his teenage years and eventually met this idiot, whom he became very close with, and eventually ended up running away with at the age of seventeen. a recent highschool graduate, a knowledge that once he turned eighteen the foster system was just going to let him loose anyway, and knowing that the family he had been staying with really didn’t care much for him? was really all he needed to know it was time for him to go. bokyung offered an escape, and han took it, and he hasn’t looked back since. plus, there was no way he was gonna let that asshole leave him behind.

being on the road and saving every penny was a life that han got pretty used to. of course, none of the happiness could stay for long, and eventually once they came to find themselves in their time loop, his peculiarity began to act up. han has the power of energy manipulation and generation. he can generate his own energy and he can take the energy around him and manipulate it as well. any form of energy. unbeknownst to him, there was a flaw with his peculiarity -- and that was he never stopped absorbing it. his entire life, he had slowly been absorbing it little by little, expelling it along the way and managing to maintain himself just right to not realize how broke he was. until bokyung came around.

bokyung’s peculiarity is mainly pyrokinesis but the immense energy that the phoenix holds within the others body is what basically triggered han’s issues with his peculiarity. and at some point during the duration of time spent in their loop, han lost complete control of his peculiarity and almost died. he was taken away by people who helped him -- but in the process was left rather traumatized by the entire experience. he spent an entire year shoved away in a windowless and dark room with no exposure to light or any source of energy. when he was taken out, it was in a special container designed specifically for him and in there, he was forced to expel all his energy at once, without stopping. the entire process was excruciating and in the end, he was left with severely burned hands from the mass amount of energy expelled through them. they never healed properly, and he’s got a bit of an insecurity when it comes to them.

in the end the people helping him ended up designing a special pair of gloves that he wears at ALL TIMES. they stop him from absorbing, obviously, because he absorbs through his hands only. since then -- shit has been much better for him. with his peculiarity at least. but after they dropped him back into his timeloop it was a bit of a culture shock and he had a lot of lasting effects from it that still get to him. it was also after these events that he eventually discovered that it was bokyung’s peculiarity that had messed him up so badly. ensue the angst. honestly this could go on for SO LONG BUT FAST FORWARD TO JOINING THE OLD GROUP. DRAMA. ANGST. REUNIONS. MORE ANGST. A LOT OF TEARS N MAKING UP. han slowly starting getting his shit back together. went through the facility with the scientists the first time around, burnt the shit out of his hands all over again, and then from there just? was trying to adjust to live all over again.

oh, btw, the gloves don’t work when it comes to bokyung’s energy bc the gloves were designed mainly for natural energy of the world around him, and not life force energy. and since phoenix is alive within bokyung, even if han is wearing his gloves, he still is unwillingly absorbing phoenix’s energy just NOT as dramatically as he would with them off :’)))

AND NOW...

because that was SO EXCESSIVELY LONG ASLDKFJASL i’ll make this short. han now is going to be slightly similiar bc his demeanor will always be rather relaxed and to himself and friendly, but he DOESN’T HAVE HIS ABANDONMENT ISSUES so he is a lot more trustworthy and a little more naive to things than he would of been pre-mind wipe. he wants the facility to really be what they promise that it is. he really wants to trust the scientists and hope they can keep them protected from... whatever is out there. but he’s also not aware of his peculiarity defect, and probably won’t be wearing the gloves because he isn’t aware of what they are for, and so there is....... that.... :’)))) but ultimately he’s going to be pretty friendly and try to keep a positive mindset and hope that everything ends up okay and that they all end up okay. bc he’s naive and a puppy.

[universalsatan]

hihihi another vent post cause feelings are DUMB

okAY so like denial crush person that i made a post about like a few weeks ago?? anyways the only place i know them is on instagram right?? so ANYWAYS my desperate ass was SURE they vagueposted me (prolly not but lets roll w it for now) w this book paragraph as a picture (irrelevant i think but lets roll w it) anyways the caption was in SPANISH and said (translated) ‘if you love me save me’. OKAY GETTING TO THE POINT 1) im not sure of his background BUT im half hispanic and can speak spanish (i dont know if they know this tho), plus the only languages ive seen them post in are english and once korean (im sorry [translation]) (lmfao their dramatic aesthetic showing the pic was someone lighting a rose on fire ANWYAS)(they also like kpop so they could be at least part korean, know some korean, or just translated it for the Aesthetic™. idk). okay so its been a few weeks and as per usual ive been trying to get over it so im like ‘okay. whatever. chill.’ even so, i still REALLY vaguepost reply to them because u kno why not. so in my instagram story (which btw they dont even check half the time anymore :/) i just took a picture of the fairylights off my bunkbed cause thats the only source of light and said 'ummm i was reading on demons and stuff and its also midnight im so dead :/’ SO not blatantly obvious stuff but rather like the call for a rescue thing (i hate myself why am i doing this and like overanalyzing ANYWAYS) (also this claim wasnt exactly untrue as i was looking for content for unsolvedbs and i found this one fukcing eerie af image tagged as demon and i HATE creepy stuff so yeah). but nothing ever happens weve never talked online before and i only had an hour of sleep the night before so i go to sleep. so then i wake up in the morning, check my phone notifs, and turns out they replied LIKE A FEW MINUTES AFTER I WENT TO SLEEP. AND I WANNA DIE NOW????? cause also when u reply to someone story it creates a whole chat. and hhhhhhh. anyways remember that post about saving people? they literally were like 'eyyy dont worry i literally have a copy of Ars Goetia’. i looked it up and its mostly about summoning demons n shit so maybe i took what they said wrong or smth but thats fine cause i sent them 2 paragraphs (not 10 cause i aint a desperate ho :/) and well im just lowkey angery because chatting during the day is very different than chatting at night but who knows it really depends on what they reply with, when or even if they reply \_(シ)_/ sorry lol

also imma murder anyone i know irl who reads this lmfao :)