#the main general ones being /comfort/. and longing. bc that's what those songs meant to me personally

[sodafrog13]

i think a lot abt biker and jacket's relationship for someone who does not like them together romantically

[cassyapper]

jotaro kujo song analysis: “eight” by sleeping at last

i could not figure out what the fuck to title this for a long time. please forgive me ik it’s awkward but it’s the best i got

anyway the song “eight” by sleeping at last made me mentally ill so let’s get into why <3

here’s a link to the song: https://youtu.be/obi4KCh6eHQ

here’s a link to the lyrics i referenced: https://genius.com/Sleeping-at-last-eight-lyrics

be warned there are part 3, part 4, part 5, and part 6 spoilers in this

with that let’s begin.

“I remember the minute;/it was like a switch was flipped --/i was just a kid who grew up strong enough/to pick this armor up,/and suddenly it fit” Lengthy first line to start this on i know but cutting it up didn’t make sense so please forgive me… Alright let’s get to the meat of this hm? This line is about when jotaro first manifested star platinum. “I remember the minute, it was like a switch was flipped” fits perfectly with how suddenly and obviously star platinum became known to its user, as jotaro first manifests it when he’s in the middle of a fight, a fight star platinum ends very quickly and brutally. The “i was just a kid who grew up strong enough to pick this armor up” is about jotaro having the willpower to control a stand such as star platinum and not get ill over it. He “grew up strong enough to pick this armor up”, this armor being star platinum (which, yes, star platinum is armor more than a weapon because its strength is used to protect. This is stated explicitly in the jin hashimoto song “star platinum” which was written specifically with jotaro/star platinum in mind, as the title suggests). It also shows how young jotaro was re the “kid” description; he was only 17, the youngest jojo up to that point. the “and suddenly it fit” also mixes with how suddenly star platinum manifested, particularly how jotaro gained passable control over it very quickly

“God, that was so long ago, long ago, long ago…/I was little, I was weak, I was perfectly naive,/and I grew up too quick.” Another long line im sorry it just doesnt make sense to cut it up 😭 Anyway this is part 6 jotaro reflecting on his past self, PARTICULARLY part 3 jotaro, which explains the “god, that was so long ago, long ago, long ago…” segment “I was little, i was weak, i was perfectly naive” is kinda gold coming from part 6 jotaro cause end of part 3 jotaro is canonically when he’s at his strongest but i dont think part 6 jotaro is talking about star platinum in this line. He’s talking about jotaro being tactless and rude and pushing away his loved aways in a disillusioned attempt to keep them safe. By part 6, jotaro has to have known his coping mechanism of self-imposed isolation wasnt fair to his loved ones/himself and it clearly didnt WORK as evidenced by jolyne’s situation, so he’s cursing his younger self for it here. Hence, the calling of part 3 jotaro “little, weak, perfectly naive.” part 3 jotaro starts making the bed that part 6 jotaro ends up having to lay in and he hates him for it. The “and I grew up too quick” part is jotaro acknowledging his trauma. Even before part 3 started jotaro clearly had issues and they just kept building and building and building from part 3 and on. Combined with his self-imposed isolation, jotaro had to grow up quick to survive, and this line is part 6 jotaro reflecting on that

“Now you won’t see all that i have to lose,/all i’ve lost in the fight to protect it.” Remember the self-imposed isolation i mentioned in the last line? This line is about why jotaro does that. He hates being vulnerable. He hates relying on others. We only see him comfortable trusting others to take care of things ONCE the entire series, during the steely dan arc, when he believes in kakyoin’s abilities to keep joseph safe and get the lovers out of him safely. ONCE out of the four parts he’s featured in, out of the three he’s prominent in. jotaro does this, as i previously mentioned, out of a disillusioned attempt to keep those he loves safe, hence the “now you won’t see all that i have to lose” line. This behavior is solidified in jotaro at the end of stardust crusaders, when the two final times he tried to trust that others would handle it resulted in the deaths of over of half those he cared the most about (he may have gotten joseph back, but don’t forget that joseph did actually die). Thus, this decisive night ties into the “all i’ve lost in the fight to protect it” line. He’s lost loved ones but he won’t lose them again, not in the same way at least. Ironically, the self-imposed isolation only puts his loved ones and himself in danger, but i can get into that later.

“I won’t let you in, i swore never again --/i can’t afford, no, i refuse to be rejected” This line kinda ties back with what i was mentioning in the last line, but it hones it a bit more on jotaro’s complete denial of being vulnerable rather than how he acts to ensure he isnt such. “I wont let you in, i swore never again” is a direct tie-in for how jotaro feels after stardust crusaders; he is never going to get as close to anyone or anything the way he was close to the crusaders ever again. Nothing is ever going to matter to him the same way and he is going to make sure of that, as the “swore never again” implies, because he is certain, at least at first, that this will keep others safe. The “i can’t afford, no, i refuse to be rejected” part goes into how selfish and arrogant jotaro’s mentality is. Don’t get me wrong, jotaro’s self-imposed isolation can be seen as selfless, especially because the main driving force behind it is to keep others safe -- but it’s not the only force driving it. Like i said, jotaro doesn’t want to be vulnerable, and to be sure he doesnt feel that way, he needs to ensure he won’t be hurt. Can’t be sad when people die if you were never close to them, right? So as much as it is to protect others, he also is protecting himself by closing off from others. It’s also arrogant of jotaro to assume he is the deciding factor of who lives and dies, that he gets to choose/manipulate the cycle of life and death by deciding on if he opens up to others. Jotaro had this mentality of being a “deciding factor” shoved into his head during the journey to egypt, and that kinda warps his worldview as a result; everything must be his fault. Things go bad surely because he let them somehow. And it’s not jotaro’s fault he’s ill in the head like this but it is still arrogant, and the “i can’t afford, no, i refuse to be rejected” line attests to this.

“I want to break these bones until theyre better/i want to break them right and feel alive” Oh jotaro you have the shittiest fuckign coping mechanisms Alright. “I want to break these bones until theyre better” ties into jotaro throwing himself into dangerous situations alone. He’s just so so damn convinced he can handle everything himself -- bc again, he is led to believe he is the deciding factor of life and death -- he just has to try. If things go wrong, it’s bc he didn’t try hard enough, hence the “break these bones until theyre better”; jotaro will hurt himself and will be convinced he deserved it until he “learns” how to be perfect like he’s “supposed” to be. But being perfect isnt something you can learn, you mentally ill motherfucker jotaro. anyway “I want to break them right and feel alive” ties into the fact jotaro would rather break his body over and over and over rather than tell his loved ones he cares. The only right way to be hurt to him is taking a hit that was meant for those he loves. Jotaro is very much a man of action rather than a man of word, and this line is about his rather unique way of acting (that is, getting beat the fuck up over and over) Basically jotaro can’t tell the people he loves that he, well, loves them, unless he is literally dying. Examples of what i mean: jotaro preferred going on a perilous, 50-day journey to just telling holly he loved her; jotaro preferred getting beat over the head with a rock in the lovers arc rather than risk hurting joseph; jotaro preferred to literally get blown up by sheer heart attack rather than tell koichi to his face he is a good kid; jotaro stepped knowingly into a trap for jolyne and had to literally believe he was in fact saying his last words before he uttered “i’ve always cherished you.”

“You were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong --/my healing needed more than time” Oh my GODDDddDDDdcdd im sobbing as i type jotaro your head is so so damn ill Okay so i see him spitting this line towards joseph. Let me explain Joseph would no doubt pick up on jotaro’s ptsd and he’ll do his best to console jotaro over the deaths of their friends. But see joseph is ALSO an ill in the head idiot whose idea of therapy is electroshock and who calls ptsd “shell shock”. So all he can offer to jotaro is “youll feel better in time” because that was kinda true for him; he managed to move on in time. What joseph fails to realize is what made him feel better was not time, but the support of those remaining in his life (lisa lisa, suziq, erina, smokey). But jotaro listens and tries to give it time but the thing with jotaro is he just gets worse and worse as time wears on because he deliberately cut himself off from anyone who could console him (as well as got continually traumatized throughout his life), so time never helped but actually made things worse. Thus jotaro spitting “you were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong, my healing needed more than time”. In terms of timeline, probably happens right after part 5 jotaro stares longingly at the crusaders picture

“When i see fragile things, helpless things, broken things/i see the familiar” Im sorry every new line i start to analyze i begin crying so im just letting you all know incase the coherency takes a dip (as if this was coherent in the first place lmfao) Anyway so this line in relation to Jotaro is about how he projects HARD on the new generation. We see this w his interactions w josuke and koichi, the “fragile things” (there is no way he didnt see koichi as a filler for kakyoin im sorry. Also he just wants josuke safe with his friends like how he wished he was safe with his own friends as a teenager), how he was wary of giorno, “the helpless things” (jotaro is scared he’ll be similar to his dad, just like jotaro is similar enough to dio to share the same stand power…), and his interactions w jolyne, “the broken things” (angry teen in a prison? Come now). 

“I was little, i was weak, i was perfect too/now i’m a broken mirror” Throwback to the second line. Once again part 6 jotaro is reflecting but the difference here is that part 3 was when jotaro was last unashamedly happy, but more than that, part 3 jotaro was on his way to healing before everything went to shit. like i mentioned earlier, jotaro only relies on someone else completely once, and that happens in part 3. Jotaro is finally able to trust in someone else’s capabilities, which is what he needed to do before he could allow anyone to help him with the weight of the world on his shoulders. Hence, why part 6 jotaro would describe him as “perfect”; because he would’ve been perfect enough if he could just trust in others like that again But as the line suggests, that went wrong. Jotaro is now a “broken mirror,” which alludes to the fact that while he projects onto the kids, the kids (the ones that know him at least) project onto him as well, especially jolyne, because in part 6 she finally figures out her dad’s thought processes, as she is experiencing those patterns of thinking too. Jotaro is a role model for them in the sense of “see him? Do the opposite of what he did” KJ;DNJ;DN;SN

“But i can’t let you see all that i have to lose/all that i’ve lost in the fight to protect it” Same meaning as before mostly but the repetition is important me thinks because it mimics jotaro like frantically trying to remind himself why he must be distant when all he wanted to do was go home to jolyne and be her father

“I can’t let you in --/ i swore never again,/ i can’t afford to let myself be blindsided” This means roughly the same thing as the previous line that’s similar to this, but the “i can’t afford to let myself be blindsided” is less about jotaro’s selfishness/arrogance and more about how he believes enemies will use his loved ones against him and how goddamn, it would work, it would work so well because jotaro loves so, so damn much It’s a shame distancing himself didn’t work the way he wanted it to and ended up making his loved ones even more vulnerable than they would have been otherwise

“I’m standing guard,/i’m falling apart/and all i want to do is to trust you” (Begins screaming and doesn’t stop) okay so this line is about jotaro and jolyne during the beginning of stone ocean “Im standing guard” alludes to the fact that jotaro is still desperately trying to appear distant and uninterested even as he attempts to break his fucking daughter out of prison “I’m falling apart” ties into jotaro failing miserably at remaining cold towards jolyne, how he eventually caves in and tells her he loves her in addition to taking a literal bullet for her, using time stop to ensure he can make it to her to do so. and also this line ties into how he is literally physically shot and how his memories and stand are taken from him “And all i want to do is to trust you” is directed towards jolyne of course. God his whole “i’ve always cherished you” ties in with this line; like i mentioned earlier, jotaro by part 6 knows his self-imposed isolation is useless, but old habits die hard and also he was in very deep by the time he accepted there was no reason to go in the first place at all. So he doesn’t know how to change, he doesn’t know how to trust jolyne, it’d been 20ish years since he last trusted someone completely, but god he wants to. He wants to trust her. It’s all he wants to do hence this line

“Show me how to lay my sword down/for long enough to let you through” So continuing from the last line, jotaro just wants to let jolyne in. he wants to learn how to do that. I think this line is actually directed towards his younger self; 17 year old jotaro managed to let in a person once, after all (more than one person in fact, but all the crusaders). This would also make more sense w my interpretation of how part 6 jotaro calls part 3 jotaro “perfect” in this regard Essentially it’s jotaro thumbing through his memories to figure out how his past self gathered the security to trust in someone else wholeheartedly...which makes the fact that pucci steals his memories particularly fucked up in this context

“Here i am, pry me open/what do you want to know?” Another line directed toward jolyne. “Here i am, pry me open” refers to how after jotaro tells jolyne he cherishes her, all cards are on the table. He’s shown vulnerability, might as well go full throttle. So, he’s willing to talk to jolyne for the first time ever, especially because she’s a stand user now “What do you want to know?” ties into jotaro being willing to open up, but also the fact that jolyne doesnt really know her dad ):

“I’m just a kid who grew up scared enough/to hold the door shut/and bury my innocence” Hhnghg begins wailing this line is again about post-egypt jotaro. A lot of jotaro’s like...emotional maturation (and even some physical) occurred during the trip to egypt and immediately afterward. he’s in pain and desperately trying to rationalize a way he can be in control of never letting something like what happened in egypt happen again, hence the “im just a kid who grew up scared enough” “To hold the door shut” refers to how jotaro cut off other people, even the people who used to know him very well, like joseph and polnareff and holly “And bury my innocence” i mentioned this in another line but this bit also refers to how jotaro had to grow up quickly to survive, considering his self-imposed isolation and his life path of chasing down dio’s remnants

“But here’s a map, here’s a shovel/here’s my Achilles’ heel” This line is SUPPOSED to be directed toward jolyne but inadvertently it is also directed toward pucci. When jotaro says fuck it and gives up on his pretense of disinterest in jolyne, finally letting her know he loves her, he’s finally building the frame of a bridge to jolyne; he’s ready to do what he’s wanted to for so long, no matter how vulnerable it makes him, and that is to be jolyne’s father. However, pucci takes note of this; he knows to aim for jolyne in the final battle because of jotaro’s earlier actions when he tries breaking jolyne out of prison. It really is a shame how the narrative keeps fucking enforcing jotaro’s shitty self-imposed isolation

“I’m all in, palms out, i’m at your mercy now and i’m ready to begin/i am strong, i am strong, i am strong enough to let you in” Hmm i imagine this line being when jotaro meets back up with jolyne after he gets his memory disk back. The first thing he does is hug her and cradle her close to him, showing off to the world, right in front of pucci, how much his daughter means to him. But jotaro, at least for the moment, is not scared to be vulnerable anymore. Ever since he decided to give up his cold facade, he was ready to let jolyne in, and he finally has the chance to do that at least a little right before the final battle, which is what this line is about

“I’ll shake the ground with all my might/i will pull my whole heart up to the surface” Final battle in stone ocean,,, What the “i’ll shake the ground will all my might” line refers to is jotaro’s willingness to use star platinum the world during the battle. He’s ready to go all in to save the world, and most importantly, save jolyne, even if he has to use the source of his greatest trauma to do it. Jotaro’s a key player and he knows it, has known it for a long time, and this time he’s going to use that for his happy ending. And well, as i mentioned in the last line, jotaro’s done with the self-isolation and throws himself into the role of jolyne’s father, at least as much as he has the right to throw himself into. This is mostly what the “i will pull my whole heart up to the surface” line refers to

“For the innocent, for the vulnerable/i’ll show up to the frontlines with a purpose” More stone ocean final battle. The “innocent and vulnerable” jotaro is showing up for are jolyne, namely, but also hermes and emporio, and beyond that, the world. Jotaro understands how serious this is and he’s always been a force meant for protection, so he is here to do just that, which is what the “i’ll show up to the frontlines with a purpose” line refers to. Jotaro doesnt believe he’s a good person -- and he might not be, in the grand scheme of things -- but he does fight for what he believes is right, he always has, he mentions this way back in stardust crusaders during his fight with kakyoin. He’s never going to let injustice stand, especially not when he knows he’s such a key player

“And i’ll give all i have, i’ll give my blood, give my sweat --/an ocean of tears will spill for what is broken” This line actually applies to all the “final battles” jotaro has been involved in; part 3, part 4, and part 6. Jotaro, as i mentioned in the last line, has a strong sense of justice and is a force that first and foremost tries to protect, which the “i’ll give all i have, i’’l give my blood, give my sweat” part of this line refers to. Jotaro gives his all, has given his all, to rid the world of dio’s influence, he ruined his entire fucking life to do so, and this line gives credence to that. “An ocean of tears will spill for what is broken” refers to jotaro mourning all the what-ifs in his life, which are all tied with how the outcomes of these final battles go. If part 3 didnt end the way it did, jotaro would know how to trust still, he wouldve been happy even, maybe he wouldnt have had to sacrifice the rest of his life to dio; if part 4 didn’t end the way it did, maybe jotaro couldve gone home to his daughter, maybe he couldve been a bit of a better dad (this is because kids were involved in part 4 even if they didn’t try to because stand users attract stand users, and jotaro couldnt risk doing that to his daughter, so he ends up never coming home); and now for part 6, jotaro hopes that if it ends just a little better than the previous two, jotaro could at least died a satisfying death of sacrificing himself for jolyne, or maybe even got a chance to try mending his relationship with jolyne if they both survive

“I’m shattered porcelain, glued back together again” So this line speaks to both physical and emotional states Jotaro was physically “shattered porcelain” when he lost his stand and memory and also was shot, and he was “glued back together again” when he got medical attention and jolyne got back his disks Jotaro was emotionally “shattered porcelain” due to the fact he couldnt trust anyone completely since he was 17 goddamn years old but he’s “glued back together again” in the sense he’s ready to finally, finally try and be vulnerable in order to save his relationship with jolyne

“Invincible like i’ve never been” This line hurts so fucking much because i believe jotaro was optimistic, all things considered, at the beginning of the final fight in stone ocean. After all, he knows he’s an important figure in all this, he has his stand disk and memories back, he and jolyne and the others have a plan, and he has a future he wants to fight for in addition to the world’s continued functioning So he feels “invincible” like he’s never felt before because not even during the part 3 final battle with dio did he have the hope for the future he has now. But then. Then pucci brings out the knives. And the man who could control time never had enough in the end. He dies and cant even save jolyne with his death. The world ends. He failed. I think this is perfectly represented with how suddenly the song ends. It just perfectly encapsulates the tragedy that is jotaro kujo and i cant stop fucking thinking about it

thanks for reading all this if you did. jotaro kujo makes me feel mentally ill

[celesjial]

cle levanter: intro quick trans

chan: ...because of the events that happened, everything is so different now...

jisung: (this is really hard to convey bc jt was more the way he said it rather than what he said) but he went like “yeah, my heart...it really hurt”

seungmin: in that time i was really afraid i’d be that star that just fell from the sky

the track: sunshine

minho: jisung wrote sunshine in two hours! when he first showed us the guide i was like “wow~ it’s really amazing” he’s really incredible! clap! jjang (the best)~

3racha made like 15 songs while they were in america (wtf that was literally one week what the actual hell) however only two of those made it to levanter (one being sunshine)

jisung: we stayed behind in la for a week, and that was when i wrote the track sunshine. it was inspired by la’s beauty: even though i had no schedules, nothing to do, i couldn’t help but write music. the song- it’s meant to help people like me who can’t really stop their minds from working to take a break

so the track you can STAY

seungmin: it’s like— without you, without these people, there is absolutely nothing i cannot do

jeongin: truthfully when i read/heard the lyrics the first time i almost cried, i really choked up. but the song was comforting, i felt that in 3racha hyungs.

okay so basically the main song; 바람 (levanter)

chan: no matter how cold and hard the rain was, stay was always by our side. i felt so sorry to stay that i couldn’t keep the number nine, and i was so worried stays would be upset i failed.

hyunjin: it was like—we were running so hard, so fast, and all of a sudden we braked just like that and then we didn’t know what to do. me, us, the members—tired? we were so so tired, and the nights passed like into each other and we couldn’t really feel anything and everything was delayed and it hurt a lot, it really hurt, but we got so many messages from stays that were worried about us, and truthfully, those messages took some of the hurt away and we told ourselves “we have to work harder now.” it was the feeling like we can’t do anything but work harder.

jeongin: our hearts hurt, but we realized that your hearts must also hurt. the lyrics—the lyrics are just sad, they’re really sad. i’ve never experienced loss/breakup before, but singing those lyrics, i could experience it and it was so new to me.

changbin: our vocal members—i figured they would be under so much pressure now, but i also think the opportunity to work harder and improve is there, to the contrary. they were able to showcase a new stronger side and i’m so so proud of them.

seungmin + jeongin: yeah we feel pressure now, for sure, but all we can do is work harder for the future.

seungmin; there’s a sort of desperation in this song, like desperation and loss for everyone to hear. you can hear pain and comfort at the same time; it combines our color and a melody that’s easy to listen to and will bring comfort to you guys

jeongin: i’m really thankful for stays having come this far with us

chan: in kung fu panda, there’s a time where everyone asks “what’s the secret ingredient to the noodles? what is it?” but the answer ends up being that “there is no secret ingredient—it is nothing”. just liek that piece of paper that was blank; it had a meaning behind it. this series, the whole thing, it’s less of a key and more to showcase our reflections. are we doing the right thing? are we going the right way? should we be doing this?

chan: because we always need to follow the road we want to go on, and sometimes it’s really hard and we need to tell ourselves to keep going

chan: mentioning the alchemist, he talks about a poem by paulo coelho in which the line is “the wind is rising!...we must try to live!” he heard about the levanter through the alchemist, and through that he was able to create this concept that the wind will take them where they need to go.

the dance for 바람:

hyunjin: the dance was really hard. we wanted to relay our sadness, but we also needed to show that it wasn’t all sad. it’s different to our dances in the past, it’s emotional and it has all our thoughts, all our feelings

changbin: this is my favorite choreo in the skz life so far

minho: the choreo this time really took a long time, lots of consideration. eaxh part tells a story, and we hope stays get to experience that with us.

felix: it was fun trying a new genere, especially with how different it was from the past. i really thought it was hard this time around, but the choreo is really beautiful.

[fmdduri]

famedbasemagazine - solo interview.

trigger warnings: n/a. notes: you know, i kind of struggled with the making of three questions but i did it <3 

what one word or phrase would you use to describe your 2021?

“phenomenal!” he says, giggling afterwards. “i think this year has really just been great? there was a lot i did career wise that i’m really proud of and this year is the year i got to release my second full album, so i’m really happy and excited about that! generally, 2021 has been really great to me and brought me so much. i really hope it brought gaia a lot this year too!”

how have you and your group grown this year?

“titan reached their tenth year this year and i think that, in itself, is really a lot of growth! i think we’re really, really lucky to have gotten to the tenth year and i’m really proud that we’ve managed to reach that achievement. i think we essentially grew up in a way! i think we grew even stronger. myself, i think i’ve really come into myself musically as an artist even more and in other aspects of my career, such as modeling!” 

what has been your must-have fashion item recently?

“with autumn coming up, i think my must-have fashion item is a really nice sweater! personally, i make sure i have a lot of neutral colored sweaters, just so i can style them multiple times over with different pieces! i think it’s always better to have something that you style multiple different times and use over and over again.” 

how would you describe the concept of your solo pictorial and how you came up with it? 

“i would describe the concept as a bit of a garden fairy? but maybe... a hunky garden fairy? [giggles] i would name it frolicking among flowers, as i just spent a lot of time among flowers and greenery, with my shirt off though, that’s where the hunky part comes in! [laughs] i really like flowers and being under the sun, so i decided to combine those two things and came up with the concept. i did a lot of whites and creams for my outfits because i wanted to stand out amongst the green and bright colors of the flowers. maybe the abs helped with that too?”

talk about your exclusive x base stage performance. 

“i decided to perform one of the title tracks, breath, off my newest album, i am a dreamer. i think it’s really my favorite song off of the album, so that’s why i decided to perform it for my exclusive x base stage. i also decided to show off my piano skills! i’m really, really thankful that the staff had managed to get a piano all the way up to the rooftop for me, it really meant a lot to me. i decided to have the stage be on a rooftop bar because it overlooked seoul and i would be close to the stars, which i really like! it was also dim, much like the music video, so that the full focus would be on the piano and my voice, to give a really, relaxing and soothing stage. i wanted to comfort those that need it.”

what are you most interested in these days?

“i think this probably seems like a really easy answer, but it’s definitely music. my mind always feels like it’s racing with a new idea for music, so i’ll often be writing something down or composing something, to see if it’ll work for something. i think i’m really on a kick as of lately, so perhaps i’ll be creating something new? i have a very musical mind! [giggles].” 

what is something you want to do in the future?

“i really want to do more variety shows! so, i think something that i’d really like to do in a future is be in the main cast of a variety show because it’s been a long while since i’ve last been in one! i hope bc entertainment is reading this! please get me a variety show main cast role!” 

you recently released your second full length album, i am a dreamer, what are you thoughts on that?

“i’m really happy to be able to release my second full length album! i worked on it for a really long time and for it to have come out still feels really surreal to me. between my debut album and this album, i was doing a lot of mini albums, so it still feels surprising that i put together a full length album. but, i really, really like this album and it means a lot to me. so, i really hope gaia like it a lot. i hope they find comfort in the words that i wrote and the words that i’m singing. it’s a really special album to me.”

what is duri’s mbti?

“i’ve actually never taken the mbti test before! i wasn’t sure if i ever needed to? or if it’s something that’s really interested me? i think it tells you what it believes your personality is and i’m not sure if i need something like that? i think it’s probably a fun thing, but i wouldn’t want to put myself in that type of box. i’m just me!”

what type of music genre do you want to try?

“ah... there’s so many music genres that i want to try that i haven’t yet! i think i’ve done almost all types of ballads and i’ve done r&b, as well as folk and a few other genres in my mini album, chocolate. but, i think i really want to try rock and maybe some more r&b? indie could be a fun genre to do as well! i think i’d also like to dance again! even though i’m not really a dancer, i think i can handle it based off of other songs i’ve done! ah, i think there’s just a lot that i’d really like to explore.”

[hypercam2]

so @buffyannes​ and @saltierthanpearl​ sent me replies to the ask meme, one of them being two questions and the other being everything on the list :O so now that i’ve gotten a chance to sit down and think about it, here goes!

1. song of the year? pin by hippo campus really stuck with me. love those boys

2. album of the year? hit the dirt by mega mango! there’s no reason they haven’t blown tf up yet

3. favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year? sure sure, for sure B^) their last album was great and i’m getting tix to their show for christmas, which will be a lot of fun

4. movie of the year? detective pikachu was super wholesome! i also don’t remember anything else i saw lmaoooo

(continues under the break)

5. TV show of the year? yall know i don’t keep up with this nonsense

6. episode of TV or webisode that defined the year for you? the steven universe finale was pretty special. the song “change your mind” fuckin did things to me man

7. favorite actor of the year? i don’t know who’s cool anymore so i’m gonna cop out and say me!!!!! bc i decided to audition for a show for the first time in three years??? and somehow got in??? so yeah catch me at the local theatre yall it’ll be lit

8. game of the year? since i’m trying to pick things that were released this year i guess my choice would be smash ultimate by default, even though i wouldn’t say it defines my taste overall? i never buy games at release tbh, hype is less important than how well they withstand the test of time.

9. best month for you this year? april was a good month, though the beginning of the end, in a way.

10. something that made you cry this year? well officially, truly, no holds barred Coming Out was uhhhhhhh hard

11. something you want to do again next year? alternative spring break! spending a week volunteering was a transformative experience. i wrote pages and pages in my journal about it.

12. talk about a new friend you made this year i’m gonna talk about all of the new friends i’ve made in my office! they welcomed me into conversations from the start and lucky for them, i fit in instantly. (i like to say they should be glad they aren’t stuck with a front desk worker who doesn’t have stage 50 internet brain poisoning 😂) i love how we all Get each other’s sense of humor, but know when to self-regulate or take others’ needs seriously. we all kind of have our own niche interests but you never get a funny look for bringing Your Shit up. i’m very lucky to have just walked right into somewhere i feel meant to be (especially compared to SG lmfaooo, they’re full of jerks)

13. how was your birthday this year? well it was in the middle of exams week and then i got a KIDNEY INFECTION like a couple days after!!!! so cool i guess cuz i turned 21 but otherwise kind of a tragedy?

14. favorite book you read this year? i don’t know how to read

15. what’s a bad habit you picked up this year? ugh just.... procrastination on life in general turned up to 100 😖 hard to be in tune with things if they’re entirely uninteresting and the Same Old Thing ad nauseum

16 and 17: pictures from the beginning and end of year i take a pic on my laptop’s webcam whenever i change my hair (i don’t know why i do this?) so i can actually answer this one from my computer!

beginning:

end:

18: a memorable meal this year? literally any time i go to florida and eat old bay shrimp and conch fritters at the local seafood bar.... like ugh sis went OFF

19. what are you excited about for next year? being in a musical! and stage directing the kids’ show again!!

20. what’s something you learned this year? i’d say i’m still working on it, but not being unhappy for the sake of others’ comfort. working past the anxiousness of telling the truth when it’s hard, or speaking up about things i need or want. ya know. that kind of thing. it’s tough.

21. what’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year? we started the year with 3 cats and temporarily, we’re gonna end it with 6 😨 (our neighbor is most likely going to adopt her, but she’ll be in our house for a while.)

22. favorite place you visited this year? a small town in indiana, for spring break. even the drive back was memorable. it was this weird shift in perspective, going down the main roads and seeing slices of how things once were interspersed with how they are now. you’ll see a tiny, decrepit farm house sandwiched between a state of the art mcdonald’s and a tiny, decrepit auto shop. i used to give the cities i spend the most time in some kind of special merit, but it turns out that uniquely tired and midwest feeling doesn’t really start or stop at a certain place after all.

23. if you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be? the first half of the year will be great! the second will be terrible! that is, until you take some steps that are long overdue - which you will take, because this year is all about change. you’ll get a really good therapist and she’ll tell you “don't expect life to ever be comfortable.” ironically enough, it’ll be comforting, as you now know what to expect.

24. did you keep any new year’s resolutions? one of them was “become a better communicator” which is a work in progress. another was “get a second tattoo” and that did happen 100% ;^)

25. did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? describe one. ohhhh i did! one of them i never got to use because let’s face it, i don’t have it in me to write the story i want to write in the middle of exam crunch time. he would have been a little kid, still nameless, who essentially would look like a tiny paperboy (think a double breasted coat, nice hat...) my main character would encounter him randomly irl, thinking that he looked familiar but never doing anything about it. that’s because the boy would show up in the MC’s dreams and communicate... fateful events. perhaps i’ll turn it into something real one day. ;)

wow i spent a lot of time on this 😅 it was a good run tho! very reflective. thanks!

[aro-aizawa]

hell yeah another tag game

tagged by the awesome @highabovethecloudssomewhere thnx for the tag i love these. anyways let’s get on w it!!

Rules: Answer these questions and tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better!

Nickname(s): none! apparently i’m boring and the name i chose for myself doesn’t tend to have many nicknames that you can make with it lol so i just get everyone to call my by my first name; danni

Height: i haven’t measured myself since i was like eighteen or something but i think i was 5′ 7″ but i’m not actually sure because fun fact when i was 12 i had no real concept of height and measurements (i’m only slightly better now) so i just picked a random number that seemed about average and said i was 5′ 7″ when i was realistically more like 5′ 2″ or smth. BUT ironically enough, i stayed at 5′ 7″ for a year or two maybe more so uh weird predictive shit there. 

Time: currently it is 6:10pm!

Favourite Band/Artist: hhhhhhh this is impossible bc i don’t actually have one. i mean i do quite like a bunch of fall out boy songs but not enough to really say that they’re my favourite? my favourite genre though is soundtracks bc i really love listening to many different soundtracks, whether they’re from games, tv shows, movies or whatever.

Song stuck in my head: i was gonna say nothing but then i remembered that i’ve been trying to figure out what the song was in this video for the past few hours and it’s been driving me nuts because i only know the beat. if any of y’all know, then pls let me know im desperate.

Last Movie I watched: pirates of the caribbean: curse of the black pearl!! i love the film series, i did intend to marathon the whole thing but i got too restless lmao

Last thing I Googled: i can’t remember but it was most likely me double checking if i spelled a word right or not

Other Blogs: @honey-sim-cc which is my sims blog where i reblog custom content that i’ve been neglecting for a while and @pathetichoney which is my art blog that i’ve also been neglecting for a while.

Do I get Asks: incredibly rarely. i always get super happy whenever i get asks but i get one maybe once a month or two. maybe less.

Why I chose this username: i don’t think i can remember exactly why anymore. i think it was because i was having a phase where my favourite animal were mice. and i’d uncovered the term “-ling” which when added to something would mean the qualities of it. and so “mouseling” would mean the qualities of a mouse. and i was pretty shy, but one day i realised that 4 out of 5 letters of mouse are on the end of anonymous. thus, when you combine “anonymous” and “mouseling” you get “anonymouseling” which was unique enough that no one else had it. and thus, i’ve continued to use it as my main username ever since. wow long story.

Following: 136! though most of those accounts are inactive i think, but my dash is pretty quite in general. 

Average amount of sleep: god uh my average is probably around 5-7 hours? in an average week, because unfortunately most of the time when i first wake up i can’t really roll over and fall back asleep. sometimes i can and i end up sleeping up to 10 hours but yeah. most of the time anywhere between 5 and 7 hours.

What am I wearing: pj botttoms, fuzzy socks, soft t-shirt and warm expensive zip up hoodie my dad bought me before i cut him out my life. it’s my comfortable ‘no one is seeing me today so i who cares what i look like’ clothes. 

Lucky number: 13! bc i love going against superstitions. 

Dream job: if i was at a point where i wouldn’t burn out easily, i’d say author. or if i had the talent, i’d say animator or comic creator.

Dream trip: me and my friends go to orlando, florida during late summer. we stay on the strip in a nice hotel for the most part and move to a disney hotel for a few days. we have all expenses paid food, entry to everywhere and one of us drives. we go to every theme park, every stupid attraction, and we eat at most of the restaurants on the strip. some days we’d just chill by the hotel pool being super lazy and dozing off under the sun. we’d call each other over if we spot some cute lizards, and during the evenings we’d play at one of the many mini golf courses available. 

Favourite food: i really love yakisoba. but i also adore cucumber maki sushi. 

Play any instruments: nope!! at one point i was learning to play the guitar but i gave up after 2/3 weeks because my friend bullied me out of it.

Languages you speak: just english unfortunately. 

Hair colour: it’s meant to be a dark blue but it’s more like black nowadays honestly. my natural hair colour is a dark/medium brown though.

Eye colour: pale blue! in some lights they look grey, but in some lights they look really blue.

Random Fact: oh man i wasted my most interesting fact on the height section. uhhhh? oh yeah, before i changed my name, i used to have two middle names. and now i have none. my dad chose my first name, my second middle name and i got his surname. my mum chose my first middle name, rose. when i changed my name, i picked my own first name but i decided that i’d always hated my first name, first middle name and my surname so i got rid of all those. i always loved my second middle name so i kept it and made it my surname. 

basically, i got rid of all the names my dad gave me because i always hated them, kept the one my mum gave me and made up the first. 

[sambashua]

11 questions tag~

i was tagged by @achuu-nice @s-lay-ing and @maetaamong for the 11 questions game where you answer 11 q’s then write 11 new q’s! a good time! (y’all this is 33 questions bear w me)

nom’s q’s

how are you? :D I’M GREATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT i hope you are too:D

sad ballads or happy upbeat songs? okay so like.. both so much.. but if i rlly had to choose i’d go for ballads bc i’m rlly a soft binch at heart (but red flavor will never not get me lit)

fave anime movie? maybe ponyo? or howl’s moving castle? i also really liked the girl who lept through time! (all credited to wonhankwan movie squad)

dogs or cats? bOTH i refuse to choose (but i got dos gatos)

do you keep stuffed animals in your room? no:( i have some on a shelf at my dad’s house tho? and i have mr. troll in my apt living room!

someone you miss? @atshinee :(

describe your phone case? iT’S GOT MOOMIN EATIN SOME CARROTS OR EGGS IT’S UP FOR DEBATE

favorite lore/myths? i’ve always been a percy jackson ho but i always thought persephone and that story was cool?? also the labyrinth 

eardbuds or headphones? earbuds bc headphones are real expensive

can I steal your heart? i actually don’t have one to steal bc you already took it nom:’(

favorite thing about your ult bias? uMMMMMMM prObABLy his smile♡ (i say smth different everytime but i feel like i neglect his visuals oops)

cloud’s q’s

Do you know a ksong by heart? (bc I don’t :x I can hum a trillion tho) haaaaaaa well i mean i can’t speak korean ofc but i can p much believably sing all of seventeen’s title tracks.. and i generally sing along to every song ever even if i don’t know it??? oH I LEARNED ALL THE WORDS TO IF IT IS YOU BY JUNG SEUNG HWAN BC I LOVE IT exhibit a b and  c for why!

When it comes to friendships, are you low or high maintenance? (As in your friends gotta talk everyday with you or you’ll feel like the friendship is dying OR if you can spend days without talking to them yet you still remain close) i like to think i’m a pretty low maintenance person! i’m easy-going by nature and i don’t mind silence at all and don’t even find it awkward usually. i have friends i don’t talk to for months on end and then we get together maybe once a year and we still remain close:) i like to think i’m easy to talk to so that could be part of it?

Do you have a secret that you will take to the grave? (Ofc I’m not asking you to reveal it)  ajhfdksl tbh i don’t think so??? i’m kind of a private person.. but if someone asked me smth specific i wouldn’t not tell them ? idk tho i used to be a bit of a pathological liar so~~~

Recommend me 5 songs (not necessarily kpop songs) i’ll rec some non kpop since i’m sure you would know anything i recced ajkdhfjdk

honey - kehlani

to build a home - the cinematic orchestra (aka chanhee’s all time favorite song which makes me really emo)

broken clocks - sza

waves - young the giant

window seat - thomston, wafia

bonus! flirt right back - backbear :)

What do you prefer?: first, second or third gen kpop songs? third gen! since that’s when i joined i’m really into it at this point! also i think the variety of music is sooo much wider than it used to be? i’m not super in tune w all the older groups but i think it’s insaneeee how many groups there are rn snd they all have a lot to offer!

What’s the cheeeeeeeeeesiest thing you’ve done? (one time a former friend of mine was telling me about a problem she had and at the end of our convo I kissed her in the forehead bYE) um legit cloud i am cheesy 25/8 catch me being a soft snuggly bean popping trash puns left and right every day of the week

If you were asked to participate in a variety show, which one of the following would you pick and why? (Pick two!): problematic men, master key, hello counselor, weekly idol, one fine day, law of the jungle i think i’d go on weekly idol! i would wanna go toe to toe w doni and coni bc they’re always so harsh to lil baby idols ahhaha i wanna take them on!

Your top 10 kpop songs of 2017? binchhhh i’ll just go by my top nine according to spotify and my number one for apple music:)

When You Love Someone - Day6

Heartbreaker - NCT 127

My First and Last - NCT DREAM (also dunk shot tho byeeee)

Baby Don’t Like It - NCT 127 (tbh don’t remember listening to it this much what)

BABE - Hyuna

Like This - Pentagon

A Supplementary Story: You Never Walk Alone - BTS

Rollin’ - Brave Girls !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eclipse - LOONA (Kim Lip)

Wake Me Up - B.A.P

bonus! Coloring Book - Oh My Girl :)

Would you rather live in a huge mansion or a compact studio house? definitely a studio house! for sooo many reasons: 1) i hate walking 2) cleaning a large house is the worst 3) if i had the option to spend that much i’d just get a smaller house and spend money on more important things!

Tell me a fun childhood story (I’ll start! One time an aunt gave me money to buy ‘papas’ (potatoes) at the grocery store so bc I’m obedient af I went and asked the counter lady how many of em could I buy with the money I had so she went ‘uhh, not many tbh’ so i ended up getting like two and when I returned to my aunt’s house she laughed her ass off and said: I meant ‘papas fritas’ (potato chips) Not those! - and uh yeah this is funnier in Spanish but it proves that I’m such an innocent angel I mean wow) gIRL I WISH I COULDA SEEN THAT SPANISH EXCHANGE I DEFINITELY LAUGHED um????????? yo idk i can’t think of anything help uhhhh okay so when my sister and i were little our house was two stories so we’d take our stuffed animals and tie plastic bags to them and make them skydive ahahha but it wasn’t too satisfying for obvious reasons so we just attached this one stretchy pink scarf to them and make them bungee jump from the railing ajfdhgfdls classic

If you were offered to start a band, would you accept? yEAH if someone offered i would assume i had the talent and ability so.. yes.. even if i didn’t and someone offered i’d still say yes bye

kiki’s q’s

Link your favourite playlist here if you can and if you can’t write out the first 10 songs on it! (Not a question but shh) here she isssss okay wait so she’s not my go to playlist tbh but she has a mix of western and kpop so.. enjoy!

Is your current ult bias your first ult bias? If not who was your first? yes :) my first ever bias was joon but i didn’t even know what an ult was for a long time and by the time i found out i knew all along wonu was my boy

Who is your ult bias? jeon wonwoo ofc

Who is more likely to hog the aux cord, you or your ult? um me.. i’m kinda a hoe w music like i always play it.. when i drive my friends i am in charge of music bc duh it’s my car but then when they drive me they usually ask if i wanna play music ahahhaha MAYEB THEY’RE JSUT SAYING I HAVE GOOD TASTE THO???? 

Who is more likely to forget an important date, you or your ult? def wonwoo.. that boy couldn’t remember his own birthday if he didn’t pay attention.. for some reason i have a steel trao mind for dates?

Who is more likely to ask the other to pick them up after work, you or your ult? i like driving so i’d say maybe wonwoo? but i feel like he might be the type to want to offer to drive you.. who am i kidding that boy is always tired

Who is more likely to write the other a hand written note expressing themselves rather than just saying it, you or your ult? i think wonwoo.. i get the vibe that we’re both a bit emotionally inept and we would both have trouble expressing ourselves but he might find comfort w writing things down he’s a romantic binch he reads too much not to be

Who is more likely to cry when a dog dies in a movie, you or your ult? me bc dat ho doesn’t like dogs smh.. his only fault (jk he a mess)

Who is more likely to almost burn the house down while cooking, you or your ult? wonu? just bc i’m not that clumsy? he could do it tho

Who is more likely to start a pillow fight, you or your ult? neither of us we’re too tired

Who is more likely to ask the other to come over to cuddle with them so that they can fall asleep better, you or your ult? meeeeee i’m a cuddly bitch and he isn’t rip.. but he would do it for me he better

my questions:D

If you could travel anywhere, but were completely by yourself, where would you go?

What inspires you?

How many pets would you have in your ideal future? Any specific names or types in mind?

What are you opinions on fedoras

how many spoons can you balance on your face at once (picture or video proof preferred (i’m trying to get someone to do it pls anyone))

What is your favorite type of tree?

If you could convince one person to like kpop who would you convert?

What are three things you are normally associated with and/or what are three things you want to be associated with?

If you were in a kpop group what position would you hold (ie. leader, main vocal, moodmaker, etc) feel free to tag your mutuals and who they would be!

If you could have any wild animal as a tame pet what would it be?? (i’m ocelot loyal all the way)

What is your opinion on mint chocolate chip ice cream? (for maj)

i’m going to tag @yongpal-i !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (are you happy sister) @strawberryboo @everyonesabiaswrecker @kiheehyunie @indiepoptime @jungnoir @hwallsgrl @lipstick-chathao @yongceo @undinefin @kihqun @definitelythis @g-te @justsomekpopstuff (tagged you back:D) and @jeonwoooo if you guys want to try it out!!

[melien]

Eden Lee Tisdale for @socialjusticesimblr‘s Slaughter or Salvage BC

Over-Emotional / Good / Friendly / Natural Cook / Photographer’s Eye

Eden Lee, 23, is a cheerful and friendly person who’s always open to expand their horizons, yet in fact they’re full of insecurities, which they mostly prefer keeping to themself. However, deep inside Eden Lee is hoping to find this special person who they can share everything with, and who will accept and love them. That’s why Eden Lee decided to enter Lorelei Kessler’s bachelorette challenge, genuinely hoping she’s the one. Of course they’re a little bit nervous because of their hearing impairments, struggling with which (along with trying to find their place in society) often results into mental kind of disorders, but they believe Lorelei and other people in the house will be supportive and make them feel like they belong.

TOU: Don’t claim them as your own or reupload, don’t change their genetics and face features. You can change anything else in their look (hairstyle, makeup, clothes, your own defaults etc.). Tag me if you use them :)

CC: hair / blush #9 / pattern

Private download unless they’re eliminated.

Interview under the cut.

Universal Questions: Personal information! Age, gender identity, species, place of usual residence, etc. I'm Eden Lee (yeah, usually people call me by my double name), 23 years old. I identify as non-binary and use they/them pronouns. I'm a human, and came from Bridgeport, where I live in the suburbs with my family: parents and younger sister who’s sixteen. What are the specifics of your disability / disabilities? Is there anything we need to do in order to accommodate you and your needs fully? When I was fourteen, I had a really bad accident followed by serious head injury and lots of surgery, which resulted into hearing complications that I still continue to struggle with. I can slightly hear only some sounds very close to me, so I have to ask others to speak distinctly and preferably into my ear, if they don't know the sign language. The next year after the accident I entered high school, and this wasn't the best time. I always felt rejected because I genuinely tried to make friends, and some people just turned their backs and went away with obvious irritation whenever I politely asked to repeat something they said. I've been dealing with major depressive disorder since then which caused lots of self-hate and mood swings, and even though I feel it has become better lately, the symptoms still can kick in whenever I experience some kind of stress. So, I really hope people in the house will talk to me, notice me and be my friends. That’s all I ask for... not treating me as an empty space. No matter what, I still believe in humanity. I heard this challenge is a safe place for people with disabilities, so I'm optimistic. How would you describe yourself? How would your friends describe you? I'm just a regular person who tends to be too emotional and anxious at times, as well as too kind and indulgent, which isn't my best quality - I would give everything to become stronger and learn to stand my ground, because I’m quite easy to manipulate. I don't have a lot of friends, we communicate in sign language with those few I have. They usually say that I'm the most harmless and least selfish person in the world. That's good, right? But I take other people's problems very seriously, to the extent of them becoming my own burden, and always overthink, which isn't good for my mental health, so I guess I still have to learn to put myself first. I probably shouldn’t list only negative things... Sometimes, when I’m able to think clearly, I notice that I actually like myself in general. I can’t imagine being different, and I’m proud of who I am. Random bit of trivia about yourself, or your hobbies, or your romantic past My hobbies involve cooking and taking photos of the world - it's my huge inspiration and comfort whenever I start feeling down. I have a photography blog where I post my pictures, and my followers make me feel like I matter, they're seriously the sweetest. Hmmm, romantic past? I'll tell you the truth - I haven't really been with anyone. For long years I've had higher priorities than relationships, moreover constant hospital appointments took a lot of my time and powers. I had some crushes, but they were short-lived... Why did you enter this BC?* Are you nervous? What do you hope to attain? ... so I guess, it's time to regain what I missed and start looking for true love? Everyone deserves it. My demons kept telling me that I won't be good enough for someone, especially someone as great as Lorelei. But I perfectly understand it's not true. So yeah... of course I'm nervous, but it's a good kind of. I'll just try to act like I usually do, without thinking of competition and pressure. It's not the main point for me. Lorelei's feelings is what matters the most: if she likes me, I'll be really happy and grateful. If we're not meant to be, it's fine. But deep inside, of course, I hope for the first option. Lorelei Specific Questions: What are your thoughts on Lorelei herself? What made you decide to try to win her hand instead of Lyra’s? Both ladies are beautiful inside and out, they inspire me to be the better person and I admire them for starting this challenge - this is a truly great thing to do. However, I had to choose, and I felt like we have more in common with Lorelei. Just looking at her picture made me feel like she might become this awesome friend I never had, and we'll exchange support in our hardest times. I have a lot to learn from her. By the way, this strange feeling that I'll be safe by her side... that I made a right choice... is it just me? Never mind. What are your greatest fears? Oh, man... My greatest fear is that I'll waste my life. That I'll never accomplish anything great, or make a significant difference in this world. Honestly, I really want to help people with the same disabilities as me, I feel like it’s my mission. But I don't even know where to start... my mental issues haven't gone anywhere and I'm still struggling, so how can I help others when I'm a mess myself? Uh... Alright, I don't really want to tear up right now, because trust me, when I start crying, it lasts long. I’m an ugly crier, ha... Next question. What is your moral compass like? Do you believe in absolute good or absolute evil? I’m aware there can’t be absolute good or absolute evil: life isn’t just black or white. However, no matter what has happened to me before and almost made me lose my faith, I would like to believe every single person has got something good in them. How interested are you in music? It’s one of Lorelei’s on-off special interests, so you may need to be proficient in it to catch up. I love music! Before the accident I was pretty good in playing piano. Even though I'm partially deaf, I can hear music when I'm wearing my earphones and listen at maximum volume, and I'm really grateful to my medical care providers for not letting me stay completely deaf after the accident, because I wouldn't be able to survive without music. I like a lot of different genres, mostly easy-listening acoustic songs that help me relax. I also try to keep up with the trends and check the top chart positions every week. The only thing I strongly dislike is electronic music, as it is too heavy and gives me headache. If you lose, will you be able to cope? I won't lie, I'm quite sensitive and it's hard for me to deal with rejections, but it honestly depends on the circumstances, so I can't say anything exact for now. First of all I have to meet Lorelei and other contestants, and I can't wait to get started!

[avantegardedog]

3/13/23/30-39/43

hi sorry I’m a piece of shit and forgot to do this but I think I found the post you were referencing3. What was the last song you listened to? Lovely Things suite, by Watsky! (it’s actually four songs technically but they’re meant to be listened to back to back)13. Fears? my normal ones are wasps/bees/hornets/etc., that’s really the main one. I do not fuck with those little assholes at all. I’m also pretty afraid of injuries of my hand, because I’m a percussionist so any kind of hand injury (broken bone, tendinitis, etc.) can bench me for a long time. I worry about my dental health, I feel like a crisis might be coming up with that soon :/ The more deep/serious fear of mine relates to my mental health and relationships. In my last depressive episode I made a lot of choices and did shit that hurt the people I cared most about that’s impossible to take back. They had to sit my ass down and tell me to leave and get my shit together, it resulted in my girlfriend of nearly 3 years breaking up with me and while I’ve grown since then, it’s still hard to shake the feeling that I’m just a broken piece of shit and I’m going to inevitably ruin all my relationships and hurt the people around me. Related, I worry a lot about becoming like my mom. She’s been in a very long downward spiral and I love her (despite her being kind of a shitty person), but it terrifies me when I see parts of her in me, because they’re never things I want. Also being alone forever. I know it’s common as a fear but being on the spectrum and my various other mental illnesses make connecting people seem insurmountable. Also as mentioned, I recently went through a rough breakup, so part of it might stem from that. Idk. I have a hard time getting by alone. 23. Do you believe in aliens? Abso-fuckin-lutely. At least in some form, you know? it just seems improbable that they wouldn’t

30. What are you looking forward to in the near future?I have my senior recital this semester, and despite the stress of getting everything together, I’m actually looking forward to doing it. I have a really good program (with not a single dead white dude! (ok well there’s a white dude but he’s alive)) and a lot of it is the hardest stuff I’ve played in one manner or another, and after a college career of feeling like  consistent disappointment or mediocre, I’m ready to throw down and really find myself in the process. 

31. What are you looking forward to in the distant future?Not sure. I want to say I’m excited to graduate next spring, but that also brings a lot of anxiety, because I’m still not sure what I’m doing with my life. 

32. If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? Umm well I’ve been missing the northeast but this seems like a bad time lol. I’d be down to go camping though, I really need to spend some time in the outdoors. I don’t really care much of where, as long as it’s not too cold (so probably somewhere in a different part of texas)

33. Do you sleep with your door open or closed? Room door closed (bc I live in a shared house) , closet door can be either

34. What’s your favorite flower? Idk? I really just like flowers in general, but I do really like irises and lotuses

35. Do you currently have a squish? I’m nursing like 4 separate crushes all of various intensities and stages of progression and it’s killing me rn :( 

36. Do you like your middle name? it’s alright. I haven’t a known a lot of Brian’s I like (my uncle and my ex’s dad come to mind) but my dad gave it to me out of respect to his older brother, which I respect (despite my uncle’s issues, I care for him a lot and he’s been one of my closest uncles), and it doesn’t really ever come up anyway

37. Do you prefer dogs or cats? Cats!

38. Do you have any phobias? I don’t think I have any fears or anxieties intense enough to really be phobias, so I guess let’s just say no!

39. Do you stay up late? Frequently! my body has always been wired to run pretty late (even as a kid I was most comfortable going to bed after 10) and these days I usually get to bed between 11p-2a

43. Do you have siblings? How many? I have four older siblings! (I’m the youngest) 3 older sisters and my brother who’s the oldestThank you so much!!!

[betweenthenotesblog]

Just What The World Doesn’t Need - Another Top 10 Band List

For going on two years now, since I first started this music blog, I’ve been fighting the urge to publish my all-time top 10 favorite artist list.

There are many faults in publishing a favorite artist list. First off, when the entity doing so (me), doesn’t have the street cred, a favorite artist list can fall flat. Let’s face it, I’m no Pitchfork or SPIN Magazine columnist. Also, such lists are very subjective. Finally, proclaiming a top band list can be seen as a tad narcissistic because who really cares what a blogger like me thinks?

That said, I’ve often wondered how I’d rank my favorite artists/bands. When I think about that, I can certainly come up with a few top candidates right off the bat, but after the first three or four obvious artists come to my mind, filling the list out seems difficult. I also struggle with how to rank those bands I loved when I was young versus those I gravitate to as I am close to entering my sixth decade of life.

Answering this question really isn’t as easy as it might seem. 

But recently, I  attempted to find my answer. I tried to do so as objectively as I possibly could. This is where my long-time, trusted friend comes in - “The Weighted Average.”

In an attempt to objectively determine who my top 10 favorite artists are, I did what I often do when making a big decision, things like purchasing a car or changing jobs. I developed a weighted-average spreadsheet to help bring objectivity to the answering of this question.

The spreadsheet I built involved quantifying the number of iTunes songs I have in my catalog for each artist, along with the breadth of each artist’s overall number of published songs and finally, and most highly weighted, I tried to rate the amount I listen to each artist at the present time. I weighted this factor more because I believe that anyone’s favorite artists can fluctuate based on their current listening habits. What I mean by that is if I were doing this list when I was 18 years old, Led Zeppelin and The Police would have made the cut. Now? Not a chance because I rarely listen to either of those bands, despite the respect I have for each.

Anyway, I used those factors to create a weighted spreadsheet using a 5-to-1 scale to try to officially quantify my top 10 favorite artist list. Those ten artists with the highest average score made the cut.

Without further explanation for how I got there, here is a look at my current Top 10 favorite artist list, subject to change.

# 10 - J Cole

I can thank my son Jonathan for bringing J Cole’s music to me. That boy has been singing J Cole’s praises for the last few years. I find myself listening to J Cole’s 2013 release Born Sinner constantly and his newer stuff is almost as good. Considering I’m an older Gen-Xer who missed the rap revolution by about five years, I was surprised and somewhat delighted to see a rap artist make my top 10 list.

Jim’s Favs: 1) Born Sinner, 2) 2014 Forest Hills Drive

Discography: http://www.allmusic.com/artist/j-cole-mn0001089515/discography

#9 - Husker Du

I am definitely a product of the mid-to-late 1980s pre-alternative music explosion and in my world, Husker Du was a big part of that. I still listen to their albums fairly regularly, especially their 1987 swan swan song double-album Warehouse: Songs and Stories. Most of their catalog still holds up, if you can get past the poor production quality that makes virtually every song sound like it was recorded inside an extra large tin can. I never saw them live, but have seen their lead singer Bob Mould play countless times. 

Jim’s Favs: 1) Warehouse: Songs and Stories, 2) New Day Rising, 3) Flip Your Whig

Discography: http://www.allmusic.com/artist/h%C3%BCsker-d%C3%BC-mn0000639053/discography

#8 - Pixies

See my Husker Du commentary for why a guy like me might fall in love with an awesome band like the Pixies. The Pixies changed the college music game for my generation like few others. I still listen to their albums quite often. There might not have been a Nirvana without these forebears who hit the scene a few years prior to the Grunge movement. They reunited a couple of years ago and while the new albums don’t move me as much as the older stuff, it is good to see them be able to still put out quality music.

Jim’s Favs: 1) Doolittle, 2) Trompe le Monde

Discography: http://www.allmusic.com/artist/pixies-mn0000895136/discography

#7 - Wilco

Where do I start with Jeff Tweedy and his revolving door of mates? As I reviewed my spreadsheet findings, I quickly realized that this band would have been in my top three just five years ago, as I really don’t listen to them as much now as back then. But, I certainly have a lot of their songs in my iTunes catalog and that counts for a lot. I have also seen them live 5+ times and although I’ve passed on doing so that the last couple of Kansas City tour stops, they are a great live band and definitely worthy of being in any top 10 artist list.

Jim’s Favs: 1) Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, 2) Summerteeth, 3) Sky Blue Sky

Discography: http://www.allmusic.com/artist/wilco-mn0000254215/discography 

#6 - The Good Life

I would not have guessed that this Tim Kasher side-project would make my top 10 list. But indeed, the spreadsheet tells me they are worthy. The Good Life, which doubles as the state motto for Kasher’s (and my) home state of Nebraska, has been described as the “softer-rock” side of Kasher’s artistry. Tim Kasher’s primary fame (if you can call it that) is for the work he has done with his band, Cursive. He started The Good Life in 2000 and they still put out great music out as evidenced by their under rated 2015 release Everybody’s Coming Down.

Then again, maybe I shouldn’t be surprised that The Good Life made the list. After all, they are one of only four bands, the others being Husker Du, The Afghan Whigs and Radiohead, for which I have adorned a band sticker on my car. Currently, a The Good Life sticker is attached to my Volkswagen GTI.

Their 2003 release Album of The Year is considered their finest work. It is a story of a lost soul, played out on the streets of Omaha and Council Bluffs. Just the recipe for a guy like me who grew up in Nebraska. 

Jim’s Favs: 1) Album of the Year, 2) Everybody’s Coming Down

Discography: http://www.allmusic.com/artist/the-good-life-mn0000059700/discography

#5 - The Afghan Whigs

Oh yes. The Afghan Whigs. 

There was a time in my life when this band meant everything to me. While most people have either never heard of, or are only vaguely familiar with, The Afghan Whigs, there are those among us who just can’t get enough of them. This is evidenced by the 1,384 ardent members of “The Congregation” a very active Facebook group for hard core fans like me. I never saw them live during their heyday, but when they reunited in 2013 after a 12-year hiatus, I flew to Atlanta with my college buddy and fellow Whigs disciple Tim, to see them play. That show and that album Do to the Beast proved that The Afghan Whigs are one of the best bands and live acts around, even as they enter the AARP zone. The Afghan Whigs will release a new studio album later in 2017 and I can’t wait to listen to it.

Jim’s Favs: 1) Gentlemen, 2) Black Love, 3) 1965

Discography: http://www.allmusic.com/artist/the-afghan-whigs-mn0000602859/discography

#4 - Cursive

Cursive is another former alt-music media darling that has never had legit mainstream success. But, that doesn’t diminish their greatness. These Nebraska natives and flag bearers for the critically acclaimed Omaha music scene have made a national impact and still sell out clubs all over America.

There are two main reasons why I love this band. First, there is Tim Kasher’s lyrics. This guy can tell a story like few others and it is usually a very twisted one. Several of their albums are concept works in nature. Secondly, the sounds this band creates using dissonant guitar chord progressions is very unique. Their sound is an acquired taste, for sure. This is one of those bands that I absolutely love, but that few of my contemporaries have ever gotten into. 

Despite that, I always feel solace when I either attend one of their shows or I read that they’ve sold out famous clubs in Chicago, LA or New York. This underscores the fact that there are others who also see this band’s brilliance. I find strange comfort in that.

Jim’s Favs: 1) Happy Hollow, 2) I AM GEMINI, 3) The Ugly Organ

Discography: http://www.allmusic.com/artist/cursive-mn0000138271/discography

#3 - Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks

Make no mistake. I’ve had a man crush on Stephen Malkmus and his guitar work for over a decade. It all started in 2003, when I saw Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks open for Radiohead in St. Louis.

I didn’t even know Malkmus’ name prior to that evening. I knew of his ‘90s band Pavement, but never really listened to them. 

It is pretty rare for an opening act to make an impact, but I was immediately struck by the sounds Stephen & The Jicks made that night. From there, I purchased a couple of his solo albums and eventually became hooked. 

While Stephen Malkmus is most known for fronting the 90s alt-rock band Pavement, I would say that his post-Pavement solo albums have showcased his guitar playing more than much of his Pavement work.

Beyond the excellent guitar sound, his unique song structures and quirky lyrics make him an acquired taste. But if you like excellent alt-rock guitar and unconventional lyrical structures, this guy just might be for you.

Jim’s Favs: 1) Real Emotional Trash, 2) Wig Out at Jagbags, 3) Stephen Malkmus (self-titled)

Discography: http://www.allmusic.com/artist/stephen-malkmus-the-jicks-mn0002016143/discography 

#2 - Pavement

If you’ve gotten this far, you know that I knew of the band Pavement before I ever knew who their frontman was. 

And when I say I “knew Pavement,” I really didn’t really know them when they were an active band. Pavement was a living, breathing thing from 1992 to 1999 but my only real knowledge was their radio hit “Cut Your Hair” which I never really cared for.

But after seeing Malkmus live, I went back and started listening to Pavement’s catalog, the whole time wondering what the hell I was doing in the 1990s to have not listened to them when it was all actually happening. 

I love Pavement for many of the same reasons I love Stephen Malkmus. It is the unique song structures combined with the incredible guitar playing. This band also had a penchant for long guitar outros, always a plus in my book. But something else that I found enduring with Pavement was the low-fi sense about them. Many of their early albums sounded like they were produced in a garage. The music was almost Guided By Voices-esque (another band I truly adore). 

Low-fi or not, Pavement is a great, great band. One that I wish I had gotten into when they were still producing albums. Luckily, they made Kansas City a reunion tour stop several years ago and played an excellent sold out show at The Uptown Theater.

JIm’s Favs: 1) Wowee Zowee, 2) Brighten the Corners, 3) Slanted and Enchanted.

Discography: http://www.allmusic.com/artist/pavement-mn0000752314/discography

#1 - Radiohead

To give you a sense for how much I love Radiohead, here is a stat for you. As I dug into my iTunes library to see how many songs I had downloaded for each artist, Radiohead’s total number came in at 181 songs, including bootlegs. The next closest band, Wilco, was at 105 songs. These 181 Radiohead songs did not include the countless dozens of songs I’ve downloaded that pay tribute to Radiohead. Compilations and albums like Radiodread, Strung Out On OK Computer “Radiohead Dubs” AmpLIve’s RainyDayz Remixes, etc. 

The sheer number of Radiohead or Radiohead inspired songs I own is maddening. Combine that, with the fact that the only time I have ever gotten choked up at a concert was when Radiohead played “How To Disappear Completely” the first time I saw them play live. That happened despite me being a guy who never cries. Yet there I was, getting all kind of the feels.

Knowing that Radiohead is my all-time favorite band is the easy part in my mind. The hard question I often ask myself is why? Why do I love Radiohead so much?

A skeptic would tell you that their songs are depressing, that many of their albums sound the same, that they’re a bit pretentious. And those observations aren’t necessarily off base.

So why do I love them? As I thought about this more, there are a myriad of reasons:

Radiohead aren’t has-beens. Instead, they have constantly worked to re-invent their sound, the way they release albums, how they do business.

They are arguably the best live band in the world.

They are all incredible musicians. Listen to their “The King of Limbs” album (my least favorite of theirs, by the way) and tell me that these guys aren’t world-class musicians.

They are nerdy, in the coolest way possible.

The sound of Thom Yorke’s vocals. Oh, that voice. It speaks to my soul.

Jonny Greenwood - He is timeless in every imaginable way. The creativity he brings to making interesting sounds is unmatched.

Longevity - They’ve stayed together, while remaining relevant for going on 26 years.

Tonight at Sprint Center will be the fifth time I’ve seen Radiohead play live. 

Great bands like Radiohead don’t last forever. I don’t foresee, nor do I even want Radiohead to hang on like The Rolling Stones or The Who. The reality is that I am getting older. And they are getting older. I get the sense that this may be one of, IF NOT THE last time, I’ll ever see them play. That is why I plan on getting as close to the stage as I possibly can this evening.

It’s not every day you get to see your all-time favorite band play music. So I’m going to make this count.

Jim’s Favs: 1) OK Computer, 2) In Rainbows, 3) The Bends, 4) Kid A

Discography: http://www.allmusic.com/artist/radiohead-mn0000326249/discography