#the main thing is his issues shifting from being projected outwards to projected inwards

[bravevolunteer]

michael at his core is very sensitive to the idea of being left behind— he fears abandonment and losing those around him, intensifying with every loss but initially rooted in his home life. he was the least favored, faced the brunt of neglect/abuse ( which, it’s important to say that none of the kids were wholly exempt from this at least in my interpretation, michael only perceives it as such because he ends up viewing the bare minimum they got as more ), acted out due to trauma and untreated mental illness ( which only made most around him dislike him more ), forced himself to ‘grow up’ too fast and struggled with real emotional expression. this lead to many mistakes, but deep down? he was a kid who wanted to be loved. and since he was never given the chance to healthily express or cope with this, younger michael projects it outwards. 

                 ( this is also why, for example, if one of his friends were to defend or try and get him to stop harassing evan, michael would NOT react well— in reality, he panics, immediately fearing that yet another person is tossing him aside in favor of his brother, that he’ll always end up inferior just like his father thinks. but he refuses to explain this, it just comes off as lashing out over something so small as his brother ‘being a stupid crybaby.’ )

  HOWEVER, starting after the bite and onwards throughout his life, he develops a tendency to isolate himself and push people away intentionally. for starters, michael ends up with an intense fear that he’ll get others hurt or killed, that everyone’s better off without him, that he’s poisonous. his guilt is also so intense that he thinks he doesn’t deserve that kind of comfort, finding himself inherent bad and unlovable. despite how much it hurts, he forces himself through it for the good of everyone else and convinced he shouldn’t be at ease. 

[ahsterism]

michael at his core is very sensitive to the idea of being left behind— he fears abandonment and losing those around him, intensifying with every loss but initially rooted in his home life. he was the least favored, faced the brunt of neglect/abuse ( which, it’s important to say that none of the kids were wholly exempt from this at least in my interpretation, michael only perceives it as such because he ends up viewing the bare minimum they got as more ), acted out due to trauma and untreated mental illness ( which only made most around him dislike him more ), forced himself to ‘grow up’ too fast and struggled with real emotional expression. this lead to many mistakes, but deep down? he was a kid who wanted to be loved. and since he was never given the chance to healthily express or cope with this, younger michael projects it outwards. 

                 ( this is also why, for example, if one of his friends were to defend or try and get him to stop harassing evan, michael would NOT react well— in reality, he panics, immediately fearing that yet another person is tossing him aside in favor of his brother, that he’ll always end up inferior just like his father thinks. but he refuses to explain this, it just comes off as lashing out over something so small as his brother ‘being a stupid crybaby.’ )

  HOWEVER, starting after the bite and onwards throughout his life, he develops a tendency to isolate himself and push people away intentionally. for starters, michael ends up with an intense fear that he’ll get others hurt or killed, that everyone’s better off without him, that he’s poisonous. his guilt is also so intense that he thinks he doesn’t deserve that kind of comfort, finding himself inherent bad and unlovable. despite how much it hurts, he forces himself through it for the good of everyone else and convinced he shouldn’t be at ease.