#the markings of her height over the years still remain in sharpie on our height wall

[continuousmeowing]

The wistful feeling of looking through old photos of me and my no-longer-best-friend and remembering all the fun we had and how there’s never going to be any new memories with her.

[estellaelysian]

All that you left me - Part 3 (Dakota x MC)

From With Every Heartbeat

Just in photos now

This is angsty and deals with mentions of major character death. Reader discretion is advised.

Part 1/Part 2

For @choicesfebchallenge Day 5: Photograph

Flipping the pages of her scrape book now, as she lay alone on her bed. All the memories from the last year were condensed in these few pages, another fragment, another small piece of all that made them whole again. She smiled at the image of him cuddling with the teddy bear she had won at the carnival. Then there were the photos in which she blew air kisses at the camera. She wondered what exactly he found so amusing about it. Whenever they looked at the photos together, he was always giggling at this photo of hers.

The memories continued … the hay ride, the photo taken just after the pie-eating competition, with pie smeared all over their faces, the photos of them posing with their weirdly carved pumpkins – and she still found herself being somewhat proud of how her Frankenstein pumpkin had turned out, and them just more random photos, with more random poses.

It was a lot.

The deep summer breeze entered the window without anticipation or warning, bristling past her, making her hair fan out in the breeze. But it did not matter as long as Dakota looked up at her with his brown eyes, as if seeing right through her, with his lopsided grin.

Thank you for all that you gave me, she wrote down beside the photo with the sharpie that she held tightly in her hand. Just thank you.

And then, turning to the next blank page, she glued in the photo they had taken of the view from the tower they had snuck off to, and she smiled at the way she could never forget how that day turned out. That was, and would probably always be the best day of her life.

The warm breeze felt alive on her skin as she stood beside Dakota, taking it all in, watching how the trees swayed in autumn air, the tiny houses that lined the horizon, and the sparkly, glittery carnival lights, that never seemed to lose their glimmer.

‘Wow. You have got a thing for heights don’t you?’

That smile, which was enough to make butterflies rise in her stomach, escaped his lips. He looked down at her, before sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.

‘I guess I do. There is something peaceful about being above everything. Like your problems are being put in perspective, you know?’

She took a deep breath, letting everything fall in, trying to memorize every little detail about this moment, before finally returning his smile. ‘Yeah, I get that.’

The carnival felt alive under them, laughter drifting from the game booths, the aroma of food wafting in the air, the slight-dusty smell of the fall leaves completing everything.

But when she turned back to look at him, his gazed was still trained on her, his face illuminated by the sun that hung low in the sky. Something lifted inside her at that look, intense and electric. It was hard to focus when he spoke again.

‘So … are you enjoying the carnival?’

She chose her words carefully, knowing what she wanted to say, but trying not to let her giddy excitement fall over everything.

‘It’s been nice spending time with you.’ She hesitated. ‘I know we see each other all the time at the hospital, but it’s nice to be with you out here in the world too.’

Something felt different.

With her heart beating a little faster than usual, she saw his gaze drifting to her lips from her eyes before tracing its way back. The silence lasted a beat too long, but then he sighed.

She couldn’t take it anymore. ‘Dakota?’

‘Sorry, I am listening, I’m just also thinking.’

‘About what?’

He hesitated, making her grow even more nervous. His brown eyes traced her face slowly, and just before she could ask again, he said, ‘Us. I … I don’t think this friend thing is working with me.’

She wasn’t sure she had heard him correctly.

Had he actually said that?

Her chest tightened, remembering Amy’s words, which seemed to echo through her with agonizing energy.

‘But you are the one who–’

He raised his hands, making her stop abruptly. He made a small, tight smile, his hair tousled, and she didn’t know what to think anymore.

‘Sorry,’ he said, his voice soft. ‘That’s not what I meant. I love being your friend, but … I broke our deal.’

What?

‘Despite my best efforts … I’ve totally and completely fallen for you.’

She must’ve have been dreaming. This couldn’t be real.

‘You … you have?’

‘Yeah. I know we’ve only known each other for a month or so, but I feel like you get me in a way nobody else does. Hell, half the time we’re together, it feels like we are a couple already, and it makes me so happy…’

In that moment, watching him was all that she could do. It was like she was robbed of all the words, of all the air in the world as her lungs felt like they were burning.

The sky around them swirled with gold and crimson, the glowing rays of the sun crested upon the clouds.

‘Until I remember that stupid promise I forced you to make,’ he finished.

Questions after questions leapt to her mind with an unstoppable speed.

‘But…what about going off to different schools next year?’ she blurted out before she could stop herself.

‘Honestly, I don’t care about that anymore. I’d rather spend the rest of this year with you than pinning in secret and wondering what could’ve been.’

Her heart hammered in her chest as he looked at her, his gaze deep and arresting.

‘But that’s just how I feel. What do you think?’

‘I think…’ she teased, waiting long enough to see his face fall a little, just like hers had. ‘I feel exactly the same way.’

His face lit up with a brilliant smile, bright enough to fill the city of Boston with its shine.

‘You do?’

‘I’ve been crazy about you since day one, Dakota,’ she finally confessed, unable to resist the shy smile that crept across her face.

He reached for her hands, holding them tight.

‘I really wish I’d filmed you saying that. I want to listen to it every night before I fall asleep.’

She giggled nervously. ‘How about I say it to you in person? Like … a lot?’

‘Even better.’

She slid her arms around his waist, leaning into his shoulder. He let his head rest against hers, holding her tight.

‘Best carnival ever?’

‘Best carnival ever.’

They continued to hold each other, watching the carnival shimmer below them.

Her tear marked the page, but she thought nothing of it. Instead, trying to hold the marker steady, she scrawled down ‘Best carnival ever’ beside the photo, wiping her cheeks, swallowing, gulping through the lump in her throat.

And then, finally, on the next page, came the Fall Carnival poster she’d found in the school parking, abandoned and forlorn, or perhaps hidden, only a few more things remaining in the stack.

It was stuck on the blank page, which now had a meaning, and the book was closed as more tears somehow managed to slip past, even though an attempt was made to keep them at bay.

**********

Tagging: @choicesaddict5 @starrystarrytrouble @dakotasteach

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