#the moment i saw the fucking 13 MINUTES LONG TRAILER I WAS GONE

[arkhammaid]

fighting the urge to change my theme-

[sir-silly]

The Last War fan review

So, our beloved show has ended. And while I wish things would have gone differently, I did cry with relief when Clarke looked over and saw everyone already waiting for her.

Anyway, I wanted to share some of my thoughts on the finale.

1) Going right into the title sequence kind of shocked me. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but I was just immediately like “oh.” It was a bitch-slap in the face that they left a gap in the credits for Bob Morley. Why you gotta do us like that?

2) Murphy screaming “come on” while they used the defibrillator on Emori was heartbreaking. And his little whispered encouragements were so freaking cute.

3) Clarke rampage? Yes, please! I love me a badass woman. However, unlimited ammo is a sin in writing. The moment Octavia picked up the sword was a big “oh yes.”

4) Did Cadogan not care about his son like at all? Lmao. Why is he so hung up on Callie and not his other kid (who I can’t even remember the name of). I don’t care if they explain in the prequel, that’s still a shitty parent choosing favorites. Along with his wife, like, was she not his greatest love? It was Callie? Kinda fucked up.

5) Why the fuck could Jordan figure out it was a test and not a war in 5 seconds when the Disciples were studying that shit for decades? I know he’s Monty’s son, but he’s not a genius or anything.

6) Thoughts on the test: I think Cadogan would have failed and the human race would be destroyed. Why bother asking questions if you already know all the answers?

7) Why wasn’t Gaia in the finale like at all?? Like, what the fuck. She was hunting??? For what?? That really annoyed me because I’ve grown to really like her and there was no point in her not being involved in the last episode. They seriously couldn’t have thrown her in there? Like, come on! Even Niylah was there! (not saying that I don’t like her, it’s just that Gaia has felt far more important to the story than her).

8) I do think that Jasper and Hope are cute together, and I know they spent the majority of their lives either alone or only with their parents, but GOD I can’t stand how awkward they are. Also, I know ya’ll have feelings for each other and shit, but is now really the time to be making out?? Why do people think that’s okay in literally the worst situations? I know it’s a show, but come on.

9) And how the fuck did Jordan throw and catch that sword? He’s a child who’s never fought a day in his life. Unless they suddenly want to tell me that Harper and Monty were secret ninjas and taught him all their tricks, I don’t believe that.

10) I’m being pissy and bringing up things from the past, but I don’t care. Why the fuck couldn’t Harper and Monty gone into cryo? I know they were happy and shit, but I’M NOT. How the fuck did it take so long for him to get into the files for Sanctum? His ass has done that shit a thousand times before in about two minutes and suddenly it takes him 80 years? Bullshit.

11) I’m still being pissy, but how the fuck does Jordan know what a magician is? “For my first trick, I will make an army appear.” Bruh, no. Monty wouldn’t have known what a magician was either. If they weren’t being taught what a Navy Seal was, there’s no way they knew what magicians were. Calling bullshit on that one as well.

12) I was pretty surprised that the Disciples didn’t start firing on Wonkru immediately. Like, this is the war they’ve been gearing up for forever and they don’t attack as soon as possible? Also, where the fuck did Wonkru get their war paint? Do they just constantly have it on their person? Or did their asses literally spend time making their paint before going to Bardo?

13) I fucking love Miller and Jackson. They’re freaking adorable. Murphy’s flat “I am glad you are safe” was so fucking funny. Also, saving Emori in one scene just to kill her in the next is bullshit. They should have just killed her the first time and done the same thing anyway. Murphy screaming at Jackson to do something and sobbing was heartbreaking. Fantastic acting on Richard Harmon’s part.

14)  Octavia putting on Lincoln’s same warpaint again was once again, so sad. I miss that man. He was too good for his own good. And while I do think that her and Levitt are very cute together, I’ll always prefer her with Lincoln. But I think that he would be really happy that she has found someone new to love.

15) Apparently whatever Echo “did” to Levitt was so forgettable that I don’t even know what she’s talking about. Bad writing. I shouldn’t forget that in just a few weeks, I should remember as soon as I see the two of them in the same room.

16) Lexa. Just all of it. There were some suspicions that she would show up for the last episode, but I didn’t really believe them because I didn’t understand how she would be integrated. I’m glad that they did bring her back, but I’m also not. It was amazing to see her back by Clarke in all of her armor and glory, but knowing it wasn’t actually Lexa was just a punch in the face. It wasn’t her mind, so it’s almost like they didn’t bring her back anyway. I honestly would have preferred if they used someone else for her Judge, because that just really didn’t do it for me. Their hug was sweet, but it didn’t even count as her returning. I personally think that her Judge should have been Bellamy or Madi instead, as they both certainly could fill the role of “the subject’s greatest teacher or the source of their greatest failure...it can be their greatest love.” This is just my preference. Believe me, I know how much Lexa meant to Clarke, but as a fan, bringing our favorite Heda back in that way wasn’t the best way to do it. As a writer, it makes sense, but it doesn’t as a fan. The writers can’t just think of what is the best storytelling, they have to think of what those watching will think.

17) I’m confused about the mindspace? Why did Clarke wake up in her solitary room with her memories painted all over the walls, but Emori woke up in the castle with a view of the desert? Why wouldn’t it have been her and Murphy’s cave? Is there a reason it was the bedroom and not the cave?

18) I know this isn’t canon in any sense, but could you imagine if Murphy and Emori fought over John’s body and she won, and then suddenly woke up with a penis? How fucking funny would that be? Just had to throw that out there.

19) Can I just again reiterate how fucking cute Miller and Jackson are?

20) I’m curious about the location of the test. Why did Cadogan’s take place on a pier, while Raven’s happened on the Ark? If it was their favorite place, wouldn’t Raven’s have been actually out in space? Like during a spacewalk? I’m confused about that.

21) I knew that Raven was somehow going to be involved in the test just because of the trailers we got for the final episode. My two guesses for who the judge would be were Finn and Abby. Though I am happy that we got to see Abby again, I would be curious to see if the scene would have played out any differently if it had been Finn.

22) Where was the full line that was given in the trailer? Because that was amazing. “We’re selfish, and we’re violent, and we have destroyed too much, but we survived.” I loved that line far more than what we got instead, which was simply, “Have we made mistakes? Yes. Clarke, me, all of us, but we were just trying to survive.” I definitely would have chosen the former over the latter. Poor choice on the editors’ parts.

23) How the fuck did Octavia and Echo go out to the field and get Levitt with Echo only being shot once? With all the bullets, the three of them should have been torn apart, I don’t care how much Indra could cover Octavia. Calling bullshit on that as well.

24) Bringing this up kind of late because I’m giving my reviews as I’m rewatching the episode, but what they had Eliza do was really fucked up. Her and Bob suffered a miscarriage during the filming of season seven, so the scene of her holding Madi and crying “my baby” is like 10 times more heartbreaking. If they made her film that after having a miscarriage mere days, weeks or few months before, that’s really, really messed up.

25) They really played-up Sheidheda’s bringing back of “jus drein jus daun” in the trailer. In reality, it was far less intense. I would have preferred what I had been expecting, which was him coming to help convince Wonkru that they would be able to win. However, I am super glad that he is dead and Indra finally got to kill him. I love how that bigass gun just turns people into mist lol.

26) The beginning of Octavia’s speech was literally like “what the FUCK guys” and it was hilarious. And I swear to god if I hear her say “we are Wonkru” or “you are Wonkru” another time, I’m gonna scream. I know it was legit the last episode but I’m sick of it by now lol. When Indra was like “I hope you know what you’re doing,” Octavia’s face was just like “omg me too” and it was really funny.

27) Bellamy. His situation was a whole problem itself. He deserved a hell of a lot better and wHY DID HE CUT HIS HAIR I LIKED IT THE LONG WAY. Anyway, you can bet your ass I’ll be writing a different ending where he didn’t die because FUCK THAT. When I do, I’ll be sure to share it.

28) I’m fucking confused about Murphy and Emori both transcending. Because, what the fuck. Emori died. The dead don’t transcend. Her mind wasn’t even in her body, it was in Murphy’s. So how the fuck did she end up alive and in her own body again. I’m glad she’s alive, but I just don’t understand. It would have made way more sense to have either not had her die in the first place, or to have Murphy, Miller, and Jackson keep pumping her heart so she technically “lived” anyway like Echo.

29) If Madi had decided not to transcend, would she still have been paralyzed? I mean, I would assume not because Levitt and Hope’s gunshots were healed, as was Emori, but I’m curious. Also, wouldn’t Raven’s leg have been fixed? Because if they only fix recent wounds and not old ones, that’s stupid.

30) On the point of Madi deciding not to transcend, why did she? Why didn’t so many other people choose not to? Like, not one Eligius prisoner or person from Sanctum chose to live? No one else from Wonkru? Why didn’t anyone else other than the main cast and guest stars not transcend? I totally understand the Disciples transcending, but seriously, nobody else wanted to live? That’s really weird. Madi and her friends really couldn’t have chosen to live on Earth with Clarke and the others? I just think it’s really unrealistic that not one single person outside of the group chose not to transcend.

31) I was really surprised that Murphy and Emori chose not to transcend, because as the Judge said, they would eventually die and not join them in the infinite. It shocked me due to their fear of dying and wanting to be immortal, but I’m really proud of them.

32) I’m disappointed that those who don’t transcend can’t have children. There were suspicions that Emori might have been pregnant (which were never confirmed), but the idea of her and Murphy having a kid together was adorable. They’d have their teeny tiny families with those two, Hope and Jordan, and Octavia and Levitt.

33) This isn’t as much me pointing out a problem as me wondering, what was Clarke going to say to the Judge when she turned around? What else did she have to say or ask? Was it about Madi? Or maybe Lexa? Or just transcending in general?

34) It’s pretty shitty that some of our questions went unanswered due to the fact that there will be a prequel. On the other hand, I live for lore, so I’m just glad that they eventually will be answered. But still, that doesn’t excuse shitty writing.

35) I want to see a stupid edit of Picasso taking the test where the Judge is Madi.

I think we all know that season seven was really not what we wanted it to be. We’ve been really disappointed by the writers and unfortunately, this is what we got out of it. I believe they really could have done a better job, but I am at least glad that everyone ended up together.

The writing was lacking. Too many questions were left unanswered, I don’t care if you’re making a sequel or not. Plot holes. It really could have been a good season if it was done better.

My ranking of the seasons is as follows: 3, 2, 4, 1, 6, 5, 7. Seasons 4 and 1 are kind of interchangeable for me in spots three and four, as are 6 and 5 in the two spots behind them, whatever the order may be.

But I still love the show. I love the characters, their development, and many things about it. It has been quite the journey and I am glad to have been a fan of the show.

May we meet again.

[softjeon]

Through the Veil | Pt. 13

• Pairing: Yoongi x Jungkook • Genre: Angst / Fluff | demon!AU (→  Gifset Trailer) • Words: 5,6k | Co-Writer: Cat @cassiavioletblue​ ↳ (AO3) • Disclaimer: mentioning of alcohol and violence / death / graphic content

↳ Jungkook is pretty sure that he is a normal human being, but he is also sure that this book, he got from his grandma, is a cookbook. So when it turns out that the words he's reciting are not to cook some tasty meal but to summon something from the depth of the underworld - then maybe there are a few more suprises for him in stock. « previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter »

A coldness crept into him, chilling him clear to the bone. Never in his life had he felt so cold. Yoongi dreaded and welcomed the day at the same time, when his heart could no longer bear the loneliness and would just break in half. He had heard of humans dying because of a broken heart before. He knew that he was slowly going crazy but that was how he felt. He needed him near. It all meant nothing without Jungkook.

Yoongi didn’t even know where to begin anymore. Every night and every day, the only thing on his mind was Jungkook. One day Hoseok had only chuckled at the way that someone like Jungkook could bring one of the strongest demons to his fucking knees. But Jungkook did just that. And Yoongi hated it that he had faked a smile and just went on, doing his work, so he could go back to his cave as fast as he could. To be on his own. Suffering. Longing for the angel boy.

Every day was getting harder, as he could feel how awful Jungkook felt. The bond was telling him to go look for him, to see if his ‘master’ was all right, but he couldn’t. There was no way he could. It was the worse at nights for Jungkook and the demon could feel the pain and suffering with every fiber of his heart. It drained him. He got restless and fidgety and irritated.

Soon Yoongi had established quite the reputation for himself of being completely unratable and highly dangerous. He could go from completely aggressive and violent (when the pain he felt made him lose his mind a little) to soft and sad and almost caring (when he remembered Jungkookie’s softness or how the younger had brought out the best in him). Persephone almost seemed to like it and she definitely found it entertaining to let him lose on her enemies or disobedient servants while never really knowing how he would react and what he would do.

At night Yoongi had made a habit of sleeping curled up around Jungkook’s clothes who had smelled less and less of the angel boy until they were just what they had been before. Simple, useless pieces of cloth, he didn’t care for. He ripped them to pieces in anger, screaming out his pain and sobbing quietly into the pillows after. Pillows that he stole from the palace because Jungkook had slept on them.

Unlike the demon, Jungkook had nothing to hold on to. All he had was the aching in his chest that only got worse and worse. He tried to hold on to the thought of seeing the demon again, that he was missing him just as much but the longer they were separated the more doubts creeped into his mind. The words of the schakal repeating itself in his mind, even though Yoongi had told him otherwise, but still…sometimes…when the night has been too long and the nightmares too much, he couldn’t help but lose himself in these thoughts.

The lack of concentration at work had made his boss warn him twice by now and Jungkook really tried to better himself but it only gotten worse. Sometimes he fell asleep on the floor, looking out of the window and hoping that Yoongi would come. He even let the window open once or twice, not caring how cold it was getting the more days passed. Until one month was gone. And then another.

On days he couldn’t feel the bond as much, Jungkook was holding up, pretending to be alright but as soon as he could feel just a tiny bit of emotion from the other – he was done for. A whimpering mess on the floor. Crying out at night for the other. Jungkook felt pathetic. He had promised the demon to be strong and yet, here he was. Jungkook barely could hold himself up anymore and even the concealer couldn’t hide the red puffy eyes anymore. It felt like the heartache was slowly killing him from the inside. Very slowly, he waddled over to the calendar that was hanging on the wall. Another day had passed. Another ‘X’ was drawn onto the paper. Jungkook let himself fall onto the floor, rubbing his eyes that felt so awfully dry from crying.   

It was supposed to get better. People always said that “time heals everything”. And especially Yoongi, a demon, someone practically designed to dismiss emotions quickly it should have been easy to just go on like normal. He would see Jungkook again after all. Just five years. Five little years, the blink of an eye. And still time had never stretched out so torturously long before. Never.

Yoongi felt like he was losing his mind.

And then he considered cheating. Even though Persephone was letting him punish disobedient servants on a regular basis he still considered going against her rules. He would sneak out and then he would see Jungkook and then… then he wouldn’t be able to stay with Jungkook. Because Persephone would come after him and she would kill Jungkook slowly in front of his eyes just to make a point. They could maybe run - but then Jungkook would have to be on the run for the rest of his life, never safe, always on edge. He didn’t want that kind of life for him. Jungkook deserved better. So much better. So, there was nothing else for him to do but wait.

However, he just... just couldn’t. He knew he wouldn’t be able to endure it. He would literally go crazy because of it. Or he would start to make mistakes, or enemies so that in the end he might get killed off before he even had a chance to see Jungkook again. There had to be another way. This couldn’t be it. There had to be something that he could do. But he came up empty. So, he asked the fairy.

“So, tell me again,” The fairy said, tapping his finger on his chin in thought, “Persephone made you separate, because the bond can’t be broken anymore but Jungkook can’t stay in the underworld otherwise he would wither away and now you have to live without each other.” When Yoongi hummed in response, the fairy chuckled low, “You know I should have bet that you would fall in love. I knew it would happen. Now I’m mad that I didn’t. I would have made so much money.” Realizing that the demon on the other end of the line was quite desperate and not liking his jokes (considering his low growl) he quickly got himself together, “So what do you need me from me?”

“I need to know if there’s another way that we can see each other more often. Any way, really. I don’t want him to be killed or turned into a demon so please stroke that off your list. And betraying Persephone is out of the question. If she doesn’t kill me while trying to sneak out she will hunt us down sooner or later. So, what i want you to do is to please, please ask whoever sources you have that know about stuff like this if there is any other way for us, that I’m not seeing here at the moment. Please.” There was no more room for pretense. He was desperate. And the fairy needed to know that or else he might not tell him more drastic ways if there even were any.

“I’m sorry Yoongi but there’s nothing I can do. I can’t break the bond, nor will anyone try and go against the goddess of the underworld and you know that… there is only one thing,” The fairy answered, the last words rather quietly.

“Well, honey, sweety, listen,” The fairy began before his voice gotten serious, “There is only one way and you know it already, don’t you? Somewhere deep down…it’s risky and probably very stupid. But if my gut feeling isn’t deceiving me it is also the right way.” He sighed deeply, raking his hands through his hair, “You’re not the demon you once were anymore, Yoongi. You are now on the crossroads. Chose.” Somehow, the fairy had the feeling that Persephone was only waiting for Yoongi to break down for him to have only this option left. And she would enjoy it. Every minute of it.

“No way,” Yoongi swallowed hard, his voice small and full of terror, “She might kill me first, just for asking. There’s no way that I can ask her to...ask her... to...” His violent emotions disturbed their call, making the blood in the bowl where the fairies voice had come from ripple and then collapse. Then he got up, pacing, running in circles in front of his sleeping place back and forth, back and forth. And then he realized that the fairy was right. Deep down he already knew that there was no other way than this. He had just needed a confirmation that there was actually nothing, absolutely nothing else, that he could do than this: To ask Persephone to dismiss him from his duties as her servant. Which would also mean that he would stop being a demon. And it was on Persephone to decide what else to turn him into; a corpse or… someone human.

…

Hoseok had just left the throne sale with a wave of her hand, when Persephone changed into her nightgown dress as she was strolling to the private rooms of her palace. She yawned cutely and with another flick of her wrist she let her hair fall out of its bun and down her shoulders in big waves. Her footsteps echoing in the big hallways. She didn’t care if the guards could see her like this, changing midways – they knew better than to stare.

Yoongi didn't care for the time. There wasn’t a ‘good time’ for a question like this. He might fall from her grace simply because of asking the question or even daring to think about leaving her. So, when he hurried down the hallways he ignored the guards confused looks and kept going until he saw a familiar face.

“Hoseok!” Yoongi almost didn’t recognize his own voice. He sounded strange, as if every protection had been stripped from him and now there was only his very core left, tender and vulnerable. Hoseok turned, giving him a look that Yoongi couldn’t decipher but he had a question to ask so he went on with it right away. “Is she still in there? I need to talk to Persephone.”

Hoseok shook his head right away, “No, she retreated to her private rooms. Why do you need to talk to her so late? Did something happen?” The demon looked at his friend rather concerned, who was looking rather anxious. “Is something wrong with Jungk-,” Hoseok couldn’t end his sentence, seeing the expression on Yoongi’s face and then he panicked. “No, no, no, you’re not in your right mind! What are you trying to do? What is this about? Yoongi?” Hoseok put his hands on the other’s shoulders, shaking him as if he could shake the stupid idea out of him. He had a feeling what this was about. He had seen the way Yoongi had changed. It has been months without Jungkook and it only gotten worse. He was losing him. The only demon he ever called his friend – or something like that.

“Hoseok - Hobi…,” He had never called him by his nickname out loud before. But he felt like he needed to make the other understand. Now. After all it might be the last time he saw him. He plucked the other’s hands of his shoulders but kept them in his, avoiding Hoseoks eyes and instead fixating his gaze on their conjoined hands. “I know that you might not understand this and it’s okay if you’re angry or hurt that I leave you behind like this. But I can’t take this anymore. I was fine before I met Jungkook. Until he opened my eyes and made me see that my kind of ‘fine’ had just been cold and loneliness and violence. I can’t live like that anymore. I miss him so much, Hoseok. So much that I can’t breathe without my chest hurting. My heart feels like it's on fire but one that slowly burns it out. I can’t go on - so I need to ask her if it’s possible to dismiss me. I might end up being together with Jungkook in some way. Or I might end up getting killed. But… at least I followed my heart. I tried. That’s something, isn’t it? And I’m thankful that I could call you my friend.”

“I can’t make you change your mind, can I?” Hoseok asked quietly but he knew the answer already. “It’s…dumb I hope you know that,” The demon’s voice cracked lightly, and he quickly regained his posture. His lip was quivering and Hoseok had to admit that he was feeling lost and hurt – but it was Yoongi’s decision. It was on him. He gulped heavily against the lump in his throat before he hesitated, opening his arms slowly. The demon wasn’t sure how humans really did it, but he had seen them do it a couple of times - so he went it and closed his arms around Yoongi. Just for a moment, before he pulled back and averted his gaze quick. He couldn’t stand here and watch this. A quiet ‘Good luck’ was all he could say before he spread his wings and flew out of the window and as high up as he could. No one should see that he was hurting.

Yoongi barely had time to reciprocate the hug, completely caught off guard by Hoseoks open display of affection before the other let go and surged into the air. He didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. But it was probably what both had wanted. Saying ‘goodbye’ would mean that they would never see each other again. And if Yoongi was lucky and he got turned into a human and live with Jungkook then Hoseok would be able to visit him. So, saying goodbye was also like an admission of knowing how high the risk was that he wouldn’t end up where he wanted to be.

A sudden noise behind him, shook Yoongi out of his doubts quick and he saw the goddess walking up to him. “Oh, did you get lost, demon?” Retreating from her bathroom, she walked past the demon, not sharing a glance but with a smile on her face and a tone in her voice that revealed, that she knew very well that Yoongi was here because of her. She turned around gracefully just in front of her room and send away the guards standing around, “Or did you miss me that much already that you couldn’t wait to kneel for me again tomorrow?”

Yoongi lowered his head submissively, his heart kicked into overdrive but her sudden appearance. “I got a request, my goddess,” He swallowed hard before stepping into the room that Persephone was resting in when she held the door open for him. He behaved as if it was totally normal for her to receive guests in here when Yoongi was pretty certain that the only people who had seen Persephone's private rooms from the inside were her lovers, Hades, the maids who were supposed to care for her comfort - and Persephone herself. He wasn’t sure if it was a good sign or bad sign that she let him see her rooms just like this. 

She tied her robe a little tighter around her waist, before sitting on the edge of her bed. “A request? That late at night?” The goddess asked and gestured for Yoongi to come in further. “Tell me then,” She pushed her hair back behind her shoulders, before her gaze was piercing through Yoongi, “What do you need from me?”

Yoongi sank down on one knee, the way he knew she liked it, before daring to look up at her, searching for her eyes. “I would like to ask for a favor. One that is way too big for me but in my presumptuousness, I will ask for it nonetheless. My goddess, my mistress, I served you for a little eternity and I served you as good as I could, with the best intentions and the utmost respect. My admiration for your strength and beauty will never cease. Still, after month of considering very careful what kind of options I have I finally come to the conclusion that there is no other way than this. So, now I am here, my goddess, kneeling in front of you as your devoted servant, completely at your mercy and asking if... if there is a way...” Yoongi's voice died out, but he coughed a little and forced the words out even though he had started to tremble, “...a way to possibly be dismissed from your service.”

 A knowing smile touched the goddess lips and she got up from where she sat, walking over to her servant. She had been only waiting for him to break right in front of her, begging her to let him go. She had wondered why it had taken so long.

“My servant,” She said and got up and over to him. Persephone let her hand trail over his shoulders, walking around until she was right in front him, “Show me your wings.” When he did as she ordered, she stood in awe, her hands wandering all over his shoulders and neck, cupping his cheeks to make him look up at her and then she touched his wings. Just a light caress.

“You know what you are asking of me is a really stupid request, right?” Persephone spoke further, “You’re asking me to let you go, when you know that I’ve never did so. Never in a million years.” She turned around, walking away from Yoongi but only to heighten the tension for the kneeling demon. She was playing a game.

“Do you think the angel boy is still in love with you? After what you did to him?” The goddess asked with a rough voice, but didn’t expect any answers, “You broke his heart. Took his innocence and then casted him off like it was nothing. It has been months. Don’t you think he has moved on? Can you be sure that he will take you back if I let you go? And now you asked me, your goddess, the one you should always be loyal to, to dismiss you? Just like that? It will be painful, more pain than you’ve ever experienced or can imagine and what do I get from this? I get nothing?” The goddess saw how the demon was trembling, the way he tried to hold himself up – but she knew better. From the day Yoongi had brought Jungkook down into the underworld she knew. Fate and Love were higher powers she doesn’t like to mingle with but that doesn’t mean that she will let her servants go like that. “Your loyalty has changed, demon. Your heart doesn’t beat for me anymore,” The goddess spoke softly and put a finger under Yoongi’s chin to make him look up, “Is it love? Or is it the bond? Tell me Yoongi...”

Yoongi swallowed hard, his wings slightly trembling and betraying him with showing off how anxious he was. How vulnerable. How scared. He regretted asking her. Not because he didn’t want to do this but, because he was afraid that Persephone would kill him right here, right now and he would never see Jungkook again. Even worse, Jungkook might wait for him to show up five years from now and when Yoongi wouldn’t be there then... then it would confirm Jungkook’s fears that he played him. And he would break the youngers heart again. Like he had done over and over again. His eyes filled with tears, but he refused to cry in front of Persephone. If this was how he was going to die, then he would die with his eyes dry and Jungkook’s face in his mind. Sweet, little Jungkook. His angel. His love.

There was no hesitation in his voice when he answered her, “The bond doesn’t matter. Not anymore. I love him. No matter what will happen to me now I’m going to love him for the rest of my life.”

Persephone was almost touched with the way Yoongi was talking about Jungkook. There was so much hope and love radiating off him, despite his anxiousness and she kneeled in front of him, to cup his face. Watching his face closely, she let her hands caress over his soft skin, looking deep into his eyes. “I will miss you, demon,” She whispered and leaned in to kiss his forehead. No matter how hard and cruel she was, she still respected the demon in a way. He had been loyal to her for an eternity. Had been one of her best servants. She sighed deeply, staying close to him and speaking in a whisper. “I can make you forget,” Persephone spoke, “About Jungkook, the pain, the bond will only be a faded weird feeling in the pit of your stomach and you can stay a demon. If you chose to stay, I’d make sure to make you my personal guard. My demon. I’d give you greater powers than you’ll ever imagine.” Her fingers trailed with a feather light touch over his cheek, “Or I can make you human.”

Yoongi suppressed a shudder. Persephone had never been so close to him let alone touch him like that. He felt like an insect pinned down by her stare, her touches so intense as if they burned right through his skin into his soul. His breath became shallow. For a second, just the fraction of a second, he considered the surprising offer. He hadn’t known that there was another option. But to be honest it wasn’t more than a quick thought before he was sure that there was no way that he could live with this. Even if it would work and he forgot everything - he didn’t want to. He would never leave Jungkook alone like this, seeking refuge in the past and leaving Jungkook to suffer on his own. The younger didn’t deserve this. His heart beat faster when Persephone mentioned the second option. Becoming human. Just what he wanted. Or rather what he would chose to endure to be with Jungkook.

“But…there is a price to pay. It will entail a lot of pain. More than you could ever imagine. I will take everything from you that makes you a demon and unlike becoming one, you will remember all the pain, like a fragile human does,” Making Yoongi look her into her eyes, she put a finger under his chin, “Barely one survived it before. I can’t promise you that you will… So, stay with me, become my personal guard and stay forever safe or take the risk of death in hope to be with the one you love. Choose, demon.”

There wasn’t really anything to choose. He had made his decision long ago and his fate had been sealed the moment he had gone out tonight.

“You know what I want, my goddess. Please, even though it will make you lose a servant I beg you to be selfless and grant me my wish,” He was scared, so so scared. But he would push through. This was what he needed to do.

Suddenly Persephone’s expression changed as if everything before had just been show and now she was showing her true colors. She got up and Yoongi stayed kneeling, unsure how to react or what to do now. He had no idea how exactly this would work so he didn’t know what he was expected to do. But apparently Persephone had him where she wanted him to be because she didn’t ask him to get up, just started to walk around him slowly. All the while she was looking at him, scanning him as if he was an exhibit at a museum, a statue to admire from afar. Unable to hide from any stares or attacks Yoongi was tense, his breath coming in short pants. He was getting more and more nervous. He shuddered when she touched his wings again, but she just started stroking the feathers like before, letting Yoongi feel them, each and every one of them and how deeply they were connected to his very being.

„So beautiful,” She whispered, a cruel praise considering what she was about to do, „You always had the most beautiful wings, Yoongi. I bet it must feel wonderful to fly, having the wind brush through your feathers. It must feel like freedom.”

Yoongi couldn’t take the tension anymore, he sobbed once, an ugly, desperate sound coming from his chest. She hit right where it hurt the most. He loved flying. Always had. Because it felt exactly like that, like pure freedom right within his grasp.

“To be above everything else must be awesome. Don’t you want to…”

„Please,” Yoongi interrupted her, voice small and choked with tears. „Please stop teasing me. We both know I love my wings dearly. Just…just get it over with. I made my decision. I won’t change it now. Please just…just make it quick.” Persephone smiled gently, completely in contrast to what she was would do next. Then she got a hold of Yoongi’s wing, right where it was connected to his shoulder blade. “As you wish,” Then she cleanly ripped his wing out from his shoulder.

Yoongi screamed.

One yank of her was all it took to separate the tissue and bones, muscles and vessels simply ripping apart under her violent strength. His fingers curling desperately against the cold floor in a desperate attempt to hold onto something, anything that he could hold onto, that would anchor him and keep him from losing his mind in pain. It hurt so much! He had never felt this kind of anguish in his entire life and it wasn’t even over with. He whimpered when she gripped his other wing, his body trying to writhe out of her grasp on its own accord.

“N...no, please…,” His words were slurred from the effort it took him to stay conscious through the agony he felt, his body shivering uncontrollably from pure shock. The second wing was worse because he knew what was coming. And still he couldn’t prepare himself for it. It blindsided him how deeply it ripped into his soul, how the pain seemed to invade his lungs and pierce his soul until there was nothing else left but dread and hot white, desperate agony burning through his very core. It was all in a bit of a haze after that – but Yoongi was thankful for that.

Jungkook woke with a loud scream, his eyes widened all while he was falling off the edge of the bed right away. He was clutching his heart. Pain. So much pain. He was barely able to breathe as the burn was rippling through him. He screamed out the demon’s name, shutting his eyes close as he tried to get himself back onto the bed, but Jungkook couldn’t move. Everything hurt too much. Pulling himself up, he fell again. It felt like he was getting stabbed all over again and he tried to see if he was hurting somewhere. With shaking hands, he lifted his shirt, but another piercing pain went right through him, making him fall onto his knees. Jungkook was whimpering pathetically. The pain wasn’t bearable for a human. His head was pounding It was too much and Jungkook could feel the darkness wash over him, making him fall back and onto the floor.

Persephone’s hand wrapped around his horns. A wicked smile on her lips, before she broke them off, right at the base, then burning out the stumps so they wouldn’t grow back ever again. The singing heat and dull sounds of breaking horn washed over like it was nothing. Yoongi couldn’t move, couldn’t fight her. His whole body frozen in shock, his mind entirely numb from it. But even if he had been able to move it wouldn’t have helped. He had chosen this. He had chosen to give up everything he had and risk his soul and his life just for a chance to get back to Jungkook. Persephone had been right. It was stupid. So utterly, utterly stupid. And yet the thought of Jungkook and the possibility of seeing him again sooner was the only thing that helped him through this.

Persephone took his hand, leaning over it as if to kiss his palm before ripping out his claws, one by one.

Yoongi barely flinched, instead he just moaned pathetically in pain. It just added to the already overwhelming misery he was in. When she was finished she let him go and Yoongi collapsed, unable to hold himself up on his own, his limbs trembling like aspen leaves.

Persephone stood tall over the unconscious demon, watching his still form for a little while before she kneeled next to him. Then she closed her eyes and put her hand over his eyes and one on his heart. Under her breath, she was repeating the magical words, that would make Yoongi human, over and over again until the strong magic was rushing through her veins and to her fingertips and flowing right into Yoongi’s body.

His eyes stood wide open again, as he screamed in pain under her magic. The magic was pushing everything that was demonic out of him and only left the human side of him. Yoongi was hissing, breathing heavily through the pain and screaming that Persephone was scared he wouldn’t make it. “Hold on,” She screamed back and pushed a little further, “It’s over soon.”

Yoongi was writhing on the floor, shuddering violently under her grip until finally, finally she took her hands off him. His body arched up one last time before he laid still. Yoongi felt strange. Every cell, every fiber of him was aching and he wanted so badly to cry. He was cold except for the hot blood running down his back and pooling around his form until he was lying in a puddle of red.

“Look at you,” Persephone's voice was soft as she brushed back his hair, wiping away the sweaty and bloody strands that were plastered to his forehead. “You should have listened when you were warned about love. It’s always painful for us. One way or another we’re going to end up hurting. And as I said you don’t even know if he still loves you. Maybe he never really did. He could have fallen for the thrill and adrenaline. Or he had some strange kind of Stockholm syndrome considering he was just as bound to you as you were to him. And then he was held here in the underworld. Not the perfect conditions for real love, don’t you think?” Yoongi pressed his lips together until they were thin and bloodless.

“And even if you are a lucky one and he feels something for you – you realize that he could do so much better than you, right? He’s a pure human being and he should be with someone as gentle and human as himself. You won’t ever come close to that, even without your horns and wings and stripped of your powers you will still be a tainted one. Not completely human but not a demon either. Did you really consider this? With all its consequences? There are so many ways that this could go wrong, for both you and your loved one,” She was stroking soothingly through his hair, a sweet, wicked smile on her lips. Yoongi couldn’t help it, he whimpered, curling in on himself more tightly. Her words held way too much truth for his liking. Jungkook was everything good in his life while he was – no, had been - a demon. But even as a human and on his best behavior he would never be the kind of ‘good’ that an angel naturally was.

Persephone’s eyes were full of pity when she caressed his cheekbone, leaving a trail of blood behind on his face. “Maybe if you beg me enough I might take you back right now. Even wingless and powerless as you are I might find a place for you as a lower servant. It would be far from what you did for me before and you would certainly feel downgraded and useless and just as weak as you are now – but wouldn’t it be better than going up into the human world without knowing what will happen to you? I only offer this once and only if you beg me right now and promise to never dare to ask me to let you go ever again. If Jungkook refuses to let you in, then there will be absolutely nothing for you up there. You can’t just change your mind then. Even if you see how stupid your decision was. No matter if your heart will be broken or your body violated I won’t help you. I won’t let you back into the underworld. Beg me now or you will be completely on your own.” She watched him like a hawk waiting for him to speak up but Yoongi kept quiet, biting his lip so hard he drew blood, just to make sure he wouldn’t make any sound that could be considered affirmation.

“Alright. Then I guess this is it-,” The goddess ripped the clothes from his body because they had been made in the underworld and he had worn them while he had still been a demon, He wasn’t allowed to keep anything that would connect him to his former existence. He was something else now. Yoongi the demon didn’t exist any longer.

“Goodbye, Yoongi,” Then she sent him up one last pitying look and a wave of her hand. She wasn’t sure if he would make it.

A/N: Only one more chapter to go! Do you think Yoongi will make it? Will Jungkook be able to endure the pain? *sighs* Whooo knows (well... we do ;)) hihi Thank you for reading! Leave us a comment on how you liked it aaaaand please, check out this wonderful fanart from @imurproblematicfav who made a lovely TTV Yoonkook drawing ;; I never received fanart before and seeing your story drawn is like ahgrhrgrhr it’s so cool. Cat and I are so happy! Thank you, Bels!!! ❤

[kittymaverick]

Tradition dictates that I must make commentary on each MCF games, even when I complain about how thing the content is...

Spoilers under cut. Also, this is written from memory, so order might be a little off.

1. MD: Ah, finally. A well deserved holiday just like I requested-- Queen: Oh Master Detective the Americas are being incredibly incompetent at this whole supernatural thing. Awfully sorry for disrupting your vacation, but your service are requested. MD: ...Just shoot me in the head, will you, Your Majesty? Queen: I’m flying you over on a private jet plane. MD: Okay, everything’s forgiven. 2. Me: Cassette tape? Really? MD: I didn’t know our beloved Queen’s a hipster. Queen: Not only that, I also write letters. Me: My god she really is a hipster. 3. Me: ...Really? Artifact of immense power capable of granting immortality, and you use it as a quill? MD: I have no idea what you are talking about. 4. MD: ...Why isn’t anyone here to pick me up? I thought this was an all expense paid trip? I’m going to need to walk TEN MILES to the murder scene? Me: You’ve walked more than that in underground complexes. A wheat field is nothing. 5. Woman: Oh hi Detective you’re totally here to investigate the murder right. Me and MD in unison: SUSPECT! INSTANT SUSPECT! Woman: Also, why are you not turning on the truck lights? You can progress the game until you do that. MD: ... I hate this town already. Me: For a town that’s devoid of people you sure fill it with a lotta hate. MD: Me and abandoned towns don’t go so well together, in case my history hasn’t reflected that enough. 6. MD: Hm, interesting grave-- [GRABBED] FUUUUUUUUUUUCK MEEEEEEEEEEEE. Alvin: Hi. Bye. [Gone~] MD: .................How am I still alive? Me: You know, it’s awfully refreshing for once when the enemy isn’t obsessed with you. 7. Me: Who’s this magic guy that keeps on showing up on all the flyers? MD: If you actually used your head, it’s the first murder victim. Me: ...Can you not? 8. Housekeeper lady: Oh this town is so full of gossip you know, about it’s rich people. Me: Yes do share. I love gossips. 83 MD: .......What has my life come to. 9. [Creepy doll thing] MD: ... Totally not creepy at all. Nope! [Eyes lights up red] Not creepy! [MD begins weeping.] 10. Woman to other woman: GET OUTTA TOWN. Me: Someone get me a camera, imma gonna paparazzi this. MD: ...When I submit my case report, I am so going to request that I just have a mundane investigation of a heist or something simple for once. Me: Awwww, but the supernatural cases are the fun ones. D: 11. [Sees door with contraption] Me: Oh yeah...This is totally not a reminder of something. 12. Housekeeper: Oh no I’m trapped because I stuck my hand in this thing please help. MD: I am so fed up by non-player characters. Me: And I am dying of laughter inside because it’s legit the first time I’ve seen a complicated door puzzle TRAP someone. 13. MD: Alright, opening this hunting room right now-- [Bullet goes through the Elephant’s head] JESUS CHRIST! Me: YOUR HEAD. IS IT OKAY? MD: I’m glad I’m not taller! Me: Wait no, you have that immortal feather why am I worried about you? 14. Guy with gun: You made me waste a bullet! MD: And you made me waste my wits. What the hell is going on? Guy: Do you hear that? MD: ...No? Guy: The silence, it’s deafening. MD: ...Yeah, exactly. So I heard nothing. 15. [EPIC CRASH THROUGH THE WINDOW] {SHOTS FIRE} Me: OMG HE SHOT THE REVENANT-- oh wait yeah, guy’s undead he’s fine. 16. Guy: SHOOT HIM WITH THE CROSS BOWS! MD: WHAT CROSSBOW--[accidentally sets it off] ... OKAY GOT IT. GUY: IT’S NOT WORKING GET THE NET! MD: WHAT NET-- oh I SEE IT. Me: That worked? Holy shit it worked. 17. Alvin: Bye bye again. [Zoink!] Guy: COME BACK HERE. Me: No wait come back people that chase after the enemy tends to die you know. MD: ...Guy had it coming. Me: Also, it’s refreshing that YOU aren’t the one that set the building on fire this time. 18. MD: Alright, finally able to follow them. Ghost of first victim: BEWARE OF WHAT LIES AHEAD. MD: SOME FUCKING WARNING WOULD BE NICE. Me: ...Well you saw ghosts in Ravenhearst so-- MD: NO. 19. MD: Let’s find the guy-- Me: AAAAAHHHHHH BODY STABBED TO TREE! DEAD BODY ALERT! MD: ............I can’t even at this point. Me: You know, you’ve been less able to save people recently. MD: Can you really blame me? The last few enemies were rather homicidal. I have better self preservation instincts than to dive right in and risk my neck for people. 20. Me: Alright! We’ve got a ladder to the window! MD: ...THAT ENTIRE GEAR PUZZLE WAS ALL FOR A FREAKING WEIGHT??? Me: Yeah, was a tad unsatisfying... 21. Me: Aw they have a place called Lover’s Point-- MD: NOPE. Me: ...I didn’t even-- MD: CAN’T HEAR YOU. 22. Me: ...BTW, why are you kicking piles of leaves? MD: Stress relief. It’s that or setting things on fire. The latter’s kinda illegal. Me: Duly noted. 23. Alvin’s sister(?): Yeah just go ahead and have a look around. MD: You have a shite garden you know that? Me: WHAT SHE MEANT IS YOUR PUMPKIN PATCH IS WONDERFUL. 24. MD: It’s so nice to have an opponent who’s actually sane and has an organized room for once. Me: It’s a double decker trailer. I’m not sure how “neat” that is. MD: Just let me enjoy this for a moment, okay? 25. Woman: Hi this is totally not a supervillain confession tape. Well okay it is. MD: That makes you 1000% more forthcoming than the others I’ve faced. 26. MD: I need something with a hook on it to get this thing. Me: Alright, let’s find a broom-- MD: I’m going to stretch this rubber chicken out and attach a hook to it! Me: ...Is your mind okay?... 27. Me: Hm...There’s nothing about this creepy toy factory that’s ringing any bells, is it? MD: Hm.....I sure hope there isn’t. Me: Yeah, think we might just be paranoid. Devs: [Cackling in the background as they plot evilly] 28. Woman: PLEASE DON’T KILL OUR KID ALVIN. Alvin: Whatever. [Kills the woman] Me: ...You seriously just watched that happen and did nothing, didn’t you? MD: Yep. The less people there are alive, the less trouble I need to handle later. Me: ...Is this because you’ve had to save so many characters again you’re now letting them die so that’ll never trouble you again? MD: Damn, my master plan has been figured out ABORT ABORT. 29. MD: Oh no so the woman’s houskeeper’s daughter is really her own daughter! Le gasp. Me: ...For rich people this is kinda tame. MD: I know, right? They could have made it spicier. Housekeeper’s notes: I found ropes and handcuffs. Wonder what the miss is up to. Me: ...I don’t think that counts. 30. Housekeeper: The girl’s locked herself in her room! Me: Alright, just let me find one thing-- [Alvin comes charging through the door] MD: GOD DAMMIT CAN YOU TIME YOUR ENTRANCE A LITTLE BETTER ALVIN? 31. MD: Wait, what are they weak to? Me: Salt. Good old table salt. MD: Oh I’ll give them salt-- HERE HAVE ALL OF MY SALTINESS THAT’S DEVELOPED OVER THE YEARS BECAUSE OF THE ABUSE I’VE SUFFERED DURING MY CASES. YOU GET A SALT, YOU GET A SALT, YOU ALL GET A SALT! SALT FOR DAYS! Me: ......Nice therapy. 32. Housekeeper: Quick, open the door! Me: WE’RE MISSING A KEY-- Housekeeper: Oh that here I have it for you. MD: ...SERIOUSLY?! Me: I’m not sure if you’re surprised that she actually gave you something directly or that you’re insulted you didn’t get to search for it. 33. The girl: MH MH MH MH! MD: Oh so that’s what the bindings are for. Me: Huh, she’s left a vial of her own blood. MD: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU RICH PEOPLE??? 34. Me: So things have gone to shit downstairs. We’re taking the bedsheets down. MD: At least it’s not us escaping from a death trap. Alvin: [GLARING YELLOW EYES[ MD: I’M GOING I’M GOING! 35. Ghostly voice of the woman: ENTER THE ART EXHIBITION OF REGRET. Me: What do you mean exhibition-- oh my dear gods. This is like if Charles Dalimar built his complexes out of guilt of his crimes against humanity. MD: ....Why can’t I just see a NORMAL art gallery for once? Me: Well at least this time it’s not dedicated to you. MD: Please don’t jinx me. 36. MD: Really? All of that for a really nice fancy leather jacket? Me: It’s a nice leather jacket. Alvin’s got taste. Alvin: Hi, I heard you’re touching my jacket. Also is that what’s-her-name’s blood? MD: Um... yeah? Alvin: Okay. [GRABS STRANGLES] MD: FUUUUUUUUU-- Me: Oh don’t worry this isn’t so bad-- Alvin: [Breaks vial of blood] Me: Oh shit this is bad. 37. MD: YOU WANT IT HERE HAVE IT [Tosses the jacket into the fire] Alvin: Finally I’ve been avengeeeeeeeeeeddddddd [Ashes] Me: NOOOOOOO NOT THE JACKET IT WAS INNOCENT. MD: It was tacky. Real cool people wear detective long coats. 38. The girl: So the woman’s really my mom? But she was so mean to me. Housekeeper: Well she wanted what was best for you. Me and MD: Not it’s because she’s a self centered abusive bitch who keeps using her rich background as an excuse go hang out with your cool aunt. 39. Housekeeper: Omg that was so much drama. I can’t wait until I tell my friends at brunch. MD: Can you not??? Me: I’ll take brunch! 40. Me: You know, I can’t believe that went by so fast. We solved the case in a single evening for once. MD: Does this mean I can have the rest of my vacation back? Oh thank god. Me: Wait hold on a minute you let like TWO people die. MD: Two out of three people. I save the third. Me: Why couldn’t you save all three??? MD: Well you know what they say. Third times the charm-- Me: THAT’S NOT HOW THAT SAYING WORKS.

[spotlightsaga]

Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews... Riverdale /S01\/E10\ Chapter 10: The Lost Weekend Airdate: April 13, 2017 @cwnetwork Ratings: 0.872 Million :: 0.32 18-49 Demo Share Score: 8.5/10 @riverdaleseries @archiecomics TVTime/FB/Twitter/IG/Tumblr/Path/Pin: @SpotlightSaga **********SPOILERS BELOW********** Four Months late isn't too bad, right? See, in Miami, it's never cute to be the first person at the party, and really the party never ends until someone actually says it does... And clearly the Riverdale Party is still very much in full swing. So consider this 10th Entry 'Riverdale Revisit'; the after party to end all after parties. Of course, we're going to be set up for S2 when it goes live. This is definitely not one of the tv shows that Spotlight Saga will be dropping in the coming, world famous, 'fall tv' season frenzy. But don't get it twisted, there are many on the chopping block... OUR chopping block. We're looking at what gets our blood pumping and our thoughts racing, giving us something more to talk about than "Last Night on ___insert uninspired show number #45 here___." 'Riverdale' has made a massive stir across social media and of course on The CW & their worldwide dominating partner, Netflix, as well. I love that due to streaming, the new large amounts of cash pouring in from its subsequent deals, and actually several generations full of 'cord cutters', there are no longer rules to watching and writing about television series and films... Get to them when you can, some will watch them live, some will stream them later, some will wait until they can binge them all at once like a Weekend Warrior with a pocket full of Ecstasy and a head full of hallucinogens. It's our world now, and CBS, NBC, ABC, FOX, and more (or less) importantly 'Nielsen Holdings', no longer control what, when, where, why, and how much. Smell that? That's the sweet smell of change... And the remnants of murder and sticky maple syrup, obvi. Ive been extremely careful not to overpraise 'Riverdale' in the past. Similar series have only led to frustration or feelings of complete frustration. Its hard to know what to expect from a show like this in the near future... We all saw the demise of similar series like 'Pretty Little Liars' and other shows that run through the same type of vein... Kind of like many of the other ones attempted over at the now defunct ABC Family where PLL first started. Like The WB, UPN, and now The CW, ABC Family has also gone through a newly rebranding process that didn't do much to help the sinking ship they now call Freeform TV... A network that only 'The Fosters' and its cheesy sister show 'Shadowhunters' seem to be keeping afloat. We aren't being negative, we're being real... And when you're at a party, or in this case, 'After Party', you've got to be real. You just gotta... Even if no one ever wanted the party in the first place. If you don't know what I mean, let me spell it out for you. Ready? Set? Spell! Ah fuck it, we'll just spill the tea... 'Let's have a Kiki! Lock the doors tight!' I sometimes wonder if my obscure pop culture references I often sneak into these articles ever actually connect. They probably don't, but to that one person that got it, FUCK YEAH! It's the birthday of Jughead (Cole Sprouse)... And much like the very similar, fellow female counterpart, Sheila the She-Wolf, another introverted style character from 'Riverdale's sister show on Netflix, 'GLOW'... Jughead is not really into parties and/or making a big fuss about a birthday or bringing any unnecessary & unwanted attention to his person. Unfortunately for Betty (Lili Reinhart), Jughead isn't really big on camaraderie, most definitely not in the spirit equivalent to the 'Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling'! The reasons behind throwing these two characters' each their own impromptu birthday bashes on their respective tv shows are done for totally different reasons. With 'GLOW', it was slightly annoying at first (for Sheila, anyway), but eventually it turned from an apprehensive & anxiety filled event to a touching, sweet moment, where a closed off character had a major breakthrough that was captured in the perfect beam of light, allowing a significant development and enabling an insight into another character's backstory, bringing the whole cast together for the most part. In a great juxtaposition, on 'Riverdale', the psychology behind this one is actually much, much different... It's still got the 'trepidatious yet possible potential for a surprise moment of gratification' aspect down to a certain degree, but it doesn't go down the path of the balmy & charming. The reasoning behind Betty's sudden obsession to give Jughead the party that he never wanted, and the background as to why he's so against the idea in the first place certainly doesn't inspire camaraderie or any kind of 'feel good' moments, especially at the party itself. If anything, the intent is slightly bordering on the side of creepy. Riverdale?! Creepy?!? Yup! Keep up! It's only getting creepier. You see... We've been up on 'Riverdale' and then back down, and then back up and down again... And I think everyone here will openly admit that it's mostly due to a shaky CW track record, as well as similar networks just like it, though there has been a few inconsistencies outside of this oddball tone & beautiful color scheme we're always raving about. However, when the show fully embraces its complete and total anomalous, almost freakish eccentricities, we all just fall right back in love with the show again. It's episodes like 'Chapter 10: The Lost Weekend' that completely make us forget about past network follies and shows like PLL completely losing their way after gaining our trust and enthusiasm in its beginning stages. Reinhart is effortlessly serving up 'Bizarre, Bilateral, Betty Bananas' like a full-on, award ready, seasoned vet. Seriously, I don't want to blow too much smoke up the kid's ass, but I'm pretty sure her breakthrough performance here would even make the likes of decorated actress such as Nicole Kidman proud. Betty Cooper has a duality that Reinhart not only highlights with strong, hearty performances... But it's also the efforts of Director Dawn Williamson, a phenomenal Art Department (you guys KICK MAJOR ASS), Cinematographer Stephen Jackson (this guy was award-worthy in this episode), and Costume & Wardrobe (hell, everyone involved in the smallest, minute details) framed from shot to shot... The absurdity of how tight & perfectly situated her ponytail is, how hard she clenches her hands (leaving scratch marks on her palms), even the way she holds the cake & dawns the signature 'Jughead Crown', to whoever made the call of having those weirdo party goers in horse masks in the background - Good call, guys! That was freaking CRAZY! It's all those little things that make the picture such a pleasure to watch... Turning what seems like a normal teen drama at first glance, to a finely tuned, surprisingly compelling theatrical spectacle. The crazy is in full on abundance, though... It's not just Betty. Suddenly after a string of a few disappointing episodes, I come back after a break and either see things in a totally different light, or it could be that this was just slowly building right under our noses the whole time, or *the most plausible of all three options* is that the ironically lowest rated episode of the series, according to the great analysts over at Nielsen, is actually the most technically sound, character driven, insanely atmospheric entry of the entire 1st Season. Veronica Lodge (Camila Mendes) finally lets go of some deep resentments she's been bottling up and goes after Cheryl Blossom (Madelaine Petsch). This is a task that I wouldn't suggest to any person of sound or capable mind to attempt in any way, shape, fashion, or form. The act is crazy in and of itself, and pissing off the 'Ravishing Redhead' that literally wears the letters 'HBIC' on the back of her cheerleading uniform, that's 'Head Bitch in Charge' for anyone too young or too old to remember Tiffany Pollard of VH1's 'I Love New York', is obviously going to lead to a backlash that Veronica won't likely forget. Sure she might get her big 'W' now, but we must remind you... There's no 'W' in 'HBIC'. Meanwhile, Cole Sprouse & Skeet Ulrich, who plays Serpent Gangster FP Jones & Jughead's father on the show, are literally close to actually convincing me that they are really father and son in real life. The little ticks and nuances that they share are out of this fn' world insane. Either these two have spent a week in a trailer together mirroring their every move or we seriously need to ring in Maury Povich for a DNA Test! Oh, and apparently there's some guy on the show named Archie Andrews (KJ Apa)... The only drawback is that they've failed to make the main protagonist (is he tho?) even remotely interesting. He's good looking, but he's not a convincing redhead, and I'm still not hooked into his arc. Hey, that's ok... Enter Mary Andrews (Molly Ringwald - ChaChing!), Archie's long lost mother. So nice of you to finally drop in, Molly! Fred Andrews (Luke Perry) is ready to finalize the divorce, but we're just biting on all the possibly juicy dramatic scenarios! Who is Archie again? Back at the party, that burgeoning rivalry between Veronica and Cheryl hits its boiling point when Veronica gets a bit too carried away and accuses Cheryl and her deceased brother Jason (Trevor Stines) of having an incestious affair. Ah, gotta love seedy underbelly of the United States! The more money, the crazier the family!!! Oh but there's more! Good ol' All-American Chuck (Jordan Calloway), who actually WAS almost boiled alive, attempts to out Betty on her 'Dr. Jeckyl/Ms. Hyde' issue that surfaced when a hot tub prank got a bit too out of hand earlier in the season. To our surprise, and viewer delight, Jughead and his Dad actually had a moment, which was completely unexpected, yet felt completely real. Like I said before, Ulrich & Sprouse have stellar chemistry, and the writers seem to know this and obviously derive great pleasure in giving us this moment where the two aren't at total odds and Jughead not only carefully considers, but actually takes his biological father's advice... Providing solid proof that the series isn't trying to meander or stretch out any unnecessary storylines at all. No disrespect to fans of other series broadcast on The CW, but clearly this isn't 'The Flash'. These storylines seem to be heading into important territory at a reasonable pace, and not just hanging around to fulfill an episode number requested by an executive to make sure ad-space quotas are filled... Although I have considered that this could be an issue that the show could run into in its expanded 22-Episode Run that it's been greenlit for S2. There's plenty of juicy drama to go around, but when we see that drama making moves instead of being drawn out, then you know you've got a potentially good show on your hands. For now, 'Riverdale' is back on a solid trajectory, delivering what appears to be a set-up episode for the impending S1 finale... A set-up episode that was easily the most consistent entry to date from start to finish. The impression that an episode as good as this exists to move its characters like chess pieces, seemingly just to put everyone in place for the final three episodes is an exciting notion for the last 3 hours of S1 of 'Riverdale' to come!

[authorracheljoy]

100 Followers!! WTF!!

Hey, so I finally managed to hit 100 followers here on Tumblr! Just HOW did that happen O.O Seriously WHAT?! Anyway, to celebrate this first milestone, I thought it’d be cool and justified to do 100 facts about myself ;) Sorry if some of ‘em suck! Thanks for everything, guys <3

1.) Name Rachel  

2.) Where are you from? Chandler, Arizona ^^

3.) How old are you? 21!

4.) Do you have any siblings? Yes! I have an older brother, Matt, and an older sister, Sarah :)

5.) Pets? I currently just have a 7yo boxer-lab mix named Honey ^^

6.) Describe yourself Urghh not good at that at ALL! XD Nope, not gonna do this! ;-; I don’t feel like bringing myself down any more than others have…

7.) What do you do for fun? Write, read, watch/obsess over Gravity Falls, & listen to music!

8.) Do you have a job? What do you do? I do NOT have a job ;-; Unfortunately…

9.) Have you had other jobs? Nah

10.) What’s your favorite memory? Can’t think of a specific thing! D:

11.) What is one thing you regret? Ruining friendships by being too clingy ;-; Definitely…

12.) What is one thing you wish you would’ve done, but didn’t? Repaired broken friendships… It’s not like I truly regret that, but… yeah :/

13.) One thing about yourself you wish you could change My shyness/awkwardness aaand my acne-prone face! :P

14.) What do you love about yourself? Mmmm my willingness to adapt and try to help others~

15.) Who inspires you? No one in particular, sorry :/

16.) Do you collect anything? Snowglobes!

17.) Do you have any fears? Plenty! Fear of heights, drowning, spiders and living alone for the rest of my life – to name a few :3

18.) Is there anything that annoys you about your job? Don’t have a job -_-

19.) Can you tell us a secret about yourself? Ohgosh… Uhm… What do you guys not know? Oh! My first dealing with ships began with Avatar: The Last Airbender (first I was Kataang then I was Zutara… now I don’t know what I am XD)  not really a secret!

20.) How about another secret? :) WHY?! Frick…hold up… Ehh I’m pretty much an open book, guys ;-; I’m not THAT interesting either…

21.) Favorite band? Hrmm it’s a 3-way-tie between OneRepublic, Imagine Dragons & Panic! At the Disco <3

22.) What music are you currently listening to? Gravity Falls OST ;3

23.) Do you have a favorite song? Ughh it literally changes every day! XD

24.) Do you have a favorite movie? Hmmm I don’t watch too many movies :3

25.) What’s your favorite color? BLUE, first and foremost, but I also love red, purple, and black~

26.) What’s your favorite place you’ve ever been to? Mmm I really REALLY liked New York… But Boston’s pretty sweet too ;)

27.) Ever broken a promise? I try not to, but I’m sure I have…at some point…

28.) Do you have a favorite book? Mmmmm! Maybe XD Like music, that changes at LEAST monthly! XP

29.) What’s your favorite school subject? English! Followed by Science! ;3

30.) Least favorite school subject? Math! Oh, and P.E. (if that counts XD)

31.) What’s your favorite food? Honestly, anything Italian! ;) Oh yeah, and potatoes! ^^

32.) How about least favorite food? Hmmm….

33.) What’s your favorite Holiday? Halloween, but Christmas is a CLOSE second! ^^

34.) What makes you mad? People that purposefully ignore me… but maybe that makes me more insecure and not necessarily mad… huh… I’ll get back to you on that one!

35.) What makes you happy? Chatting with friends and listening to music ^^ <3

36.) Do you have a favorite scent? Mmm apple cinnamon comes pretty close ;D

38.) Do you have a favorite TV show? Not right now!

39.) Can you share an extremely embarrassing moment? You mean every moment of my life – specifically my childhood? Can’t choose!

40.) When is a time you were extremely irritated? VERY recently ;-;

41.) Is there anybody you hate? I honestly don’t hate anybody. If you hate me, I don’t think I’ll be able to reciprocate. I might not talk to you for an honest amount of time, but I would never hate you ;-; It’s always temporary…

42.) What do you look for in a person? Ehh I’m not too picky (other than status in a relationship) but humor plays a big role ;)

43.) How’s the weather? HOT!

44.) Are you currently in school? Yup! Online college ;)

45.) What is your goal in life? Honestly… I want someone who accepts me in all of my awkwardness/shyness and loves me even when I’m lazy or moody :3 I also want to be a successful writer, and that dream’s very slowly becoming a reality ;)

46.) Is there something you should be doing, but keep putting off? Creating a book trailer for a friend of mine :D

47.) Ever been to a concert? Yeahh but it was mainly when I was younger ;-; Nowadays, I wouldn’t be able to afford it…

48.) What was the last movie you saw in theater? Wonder Woman! ^^

49.) What was the last book you read? Lexicon by Max Barry! :3

50.) What is your favorite season? Autumn~

51.) Do you prefer it to be hot or cold? Honestly, hot :P As much as I complain about the heat in AZ, I’m too much of a native here to stand the harsh cold up north ;-;

52.) Do you prefer the sun, the rain, or snow? I like sun and rain, but prefer RAIN~ ^^

53.) If you could go anywhere, where would you go? Currently, anywhere but here >.>

54.) Any current travel plans? Planning a trip to Oregon next year with one of my besties :D

55.) Do you prefer day or night? NIGHT! ^^

56.) Are you an introvert or extrovert? Hardcore introvert~

57.) What is something not many people know about you? I was a cheerleader back in elementary school ;-; Does that… count??

58.) Where are you right now? My room. Why?

59.) Look in front of you. What do you see? My computer :/ *shrugs*

60.) If you could meet one person, alive or dead, who would it be? Any of my online friends, honestly. Or Alex Hirsh. Or Shakespeare. Yeahhh…

61.) Would you rather look into your future, or fix something from your past? Look into my future :3 I wanna forget the past entirely ;-;

62.) If you could sit down with anyone in the world, and talk to them for an hour, who would you like to speak with? @mercurialsmile for sure <3

63.) What was the first CD you ever owned? Ohgod…Um… Probably a Kidz Bop CD? I think?

64.) What was the first CD you ever purchased with your own money? Also hard… happened forever ago… Probably an Imagine Dragons CD?

65.) If you own any Vinyls, which was your first? Don’t own any Vinyls

66.) How many CDs do you own? TOO MANY TO KEEP TRACK OF!! O.O

67.) What relaxes you? Music and talking to my closest friends :3

68.) Do you have any talents? Does being awkward count??

69.) If you could give yourself the ability to do anything, what would it be? The ability to stop being so stressed out all the time… :|

70.) Favorite candy? Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups!

71.) Is anything bothering you right now? Ehh something always seems to be :/

72.) Are you happy with where you are in life right now? Ehhhh I could stand to get a job and get my Dad’s overbearing presence off my back about it -_-

73.) Is there anyone you regret ever associating with? NEVER

74.) Do you have a favorite memory from your childhood? Plenty… Can’t name one specifically right now, tho ;-;

75.) What is your least favorite memory from your childhood. Falling at the local skating rink and hitting my head O.o

76.) Favorite memory of your parents? Whenever they don’t fight…

77.) Do you have a least favorite memory of your parents? Whenever they DO fight… which is often nowadays…

78.) How is your relationship with your parents? It’s… Look, I heavily love my parents. I depend on them. Sometimes they definitely get on my nerves, but I still care about them <3

79.) What’s your family like? Highstrung, at times D: Yeahh we might need serious counseling…

80.) Are you clean or messy? Kinda in the middle, and it depends on which aspect of my life we’re referring to! ;)

81.) What is your most recent purchase? A Tarot deck of cards for Gravity Falls, a bobblehead and a flashlight~

82.) What’s the most amount of money you’ve spent at once? $133 (I don’t have to say what it was for, right?? *begins to sweat*)

83.) What are you saving up for? Gravity Falls stuff!

84.) How much money do you have to your name currently? Wtf… If ya really want to know, my account says $181, which fucking sucks balls -_-

85.) Have you ever done anything last minute? Yah, all the time!

86.) What’s the furthest in advance you’ve planned something? At LEAST a year! :D

87.) Are you an introvert or Extrovert? But I already answered this ;-; Ehhh introvert! (again)

88.) What’s the latest you’ve ever been out of your house? 11pm

89.) Cats or Dogs? Both, but I’m more of a dog-person ;) Still adore cats, tho!

90.) How long have you gone without sleep? I don’t even know…

91.) What were you like as a child? Fucking too quiet!! -_-

92.) What do you miss from your childhood? My friends </3

93.) Do you have a favorite memory from work? Can’t have a memory if you don’t have a work to go to X’D

94.) What’s the scariest thing that’s ever happened to you? Having panic attacks are pretty horrifying D: I can’t breathe…

95.) What’s a bad habit that you have? Nervously awaiting texts/messages and always being naggy ;-;

96.) What are your plans for the summer? Try to get a job; try to survive the heat…yeah

97.) What was the last thing that made you happy? A gift arriving from my friend! ^^

98.) What was the last picture you took on your phone? A picture of my dog ;3

99.) Who was the last person you texted and why? Uhhh that would probably be my mom and she was checking if I was awake or not >.<

100.) Have a message for your followers? Thanks for putting up with my (at times) Tumblr spam! I never thought that in a mere month I’d reach this many followers O.O It’s almost UNREAL! Anyway, thanks so much for following me, and I hope you continue to ;D

[clownn-townn]

Alright, so one of my friends had posted on facebook asking for people’s paranormal experiences and I thought, hey, maybe I should share mine on Tumblr and do something similar. So, here are mine. Feel free to reblog with your paranormal experiences! I’d love to read them. I’ll be keeping up with the notes.

Alright, so I’m going to start with the most recent one and go in no chronological order, just this one happened in my freshman year of college and the rest happened in high school. 

Freshman year of college. I'd already had plenty of experience with the paranormal. Done my own ghost hunts, used oujia boards on a regular basis, lived in haunted houses, avid fan of Ghost Adventures and Ghost Hunters, nothing surprised me. Next to our tiny college town is an even tinier town called Gurdon where there's a tiny deserted cemetary next to some railroad tracks. Down those railroad tracks at night you can see a mysterious light called the Gurdon Light (that had long since been debunked as the train light reflecting off of swamp gas, yet remains a strong part of that towns folklore). Some idiot fellow freshmen decided that they we're going to go see the Gurdon Light on the night of a full moon. No way was I going to let these inexperienced idiots go alone, especially after asking "What are you going to do if you piss off a spirit?" And they answered with "There's a baseball bat in the trunk". Like... Friend... Buddy... Pal... The fuck? So I went with. After watching them freak out over every firefly and rustling leaf, I turned toward the car to get a better look around and off in the clearing just past the cemetary I saw a solid black crouched figure. It didn't seem friendly. I turned back toward the three idiots and saw that one of them, let's call him Justin, was staring straight towards that crouched figure. "You see it too, huh?" I asked him and he just nodded. "Look at it..." He said and I turned back towards and the crouched figure was slowly standing up. It was probably about 6' tall, taller than any of us there. "Car, now." I said and Justin immediately started heading to the car. The other two didn't seem to hear me so I repeated myself louder and we all hauled ass to the car. The other two who hadn't seen it saw it as we were leaving toward the dirt road that lead to the main road. They asked me what it was and honestly I have no idea what it was, whatever it was didn't want us in that graveyard.

There was another time, I had just moved into a new house and my best friend since 7th grade, let's call her Ashley, and I had a tradition every time we moved into a new house. We would draw our own Ouija board and we would figure out exactly what's in that house and what we need to watch out for or what we need to expect ect. Because we've both always been pretty sensitive to paranormal stuff. So as we sat in my room with the door open doing this Ouija board we finally contacted a spirit. It was a young girl, native American if the name and year was anything to go off of, and as we we're being led in circles in the answers to the questions, my bedroom door slowly started to close. We both look up at it. I explain to Ashley that my door doesn't do that. The door was heavy enough to where it didn't close because of gravity or anything and it took more than just the house settling to move it. The air conditioner was also off and no windows were open so it's very unlikely that there would've been any draft strong enough to move the door. So we decide to get up and look around. We were home alone because my siblings were visiting my grandparents and my mother was out doing grocery shopping, so the house was eerily quiet. The first room we go to is my siblings room, right across the hallway from my room. We stand in there and listen for a minute cause we're both getting weird vibes from the room and then suddenly the air conditioner bangs loudly, it never is that loud kicking on, and Ashley screams and shoves past me and runs out of the room and out the front door. I quickly follow after to make sure she's okay. I ask her what happened because I figured the air conditioner scared her and she took a moment to catch her breath before responding with "I saw a girl. She had two long, dark braids and a white dress". Very characteristic of a native American girl from the time era of integration, which was the time era that the spirit we were contacting was from. We go back inside, say goodbye on the Ouija board, and apologize for bothering her.

A rather funny one happened in that same house. This ones pretty short. I was practicing for a choir competition, if you're familiar with a competition called All Region then cool if not then really there's not much to know other than it's an audition for a special choir that can get you all sorts of bragging rights and scholarships. So to practice it, I would sing into my crappy laptop microphone, play it back, and see what parts exactly that I needed to work on and what I was good at ect. After a few rounds of singing a particularly difficult part, playing it back, then repeating, something strange popped up on the audio. I listened to that part a couple of times and determined that it wasn't the TV in the living room (my bedroom was the closest to the living room and it was a trailer so the walls weren't the most sound proof) because, well, after going through all the previous recordings, there was not even a hint of sound from the living room on any of them. So I went back to the strange recording and listened to it to try to determine exactly what it sounded like. Upon closer inspection, it was a male voice saying "You're really bad at that". Thanks, Mr. Ghost.

This one is really sad, and comes with a trigger warning of possible child abuse, the ghost being the victim of it. So, as with the past story involving Ashley, this story begins with her moving into a new house. This new house had a strange layout. The first floor was fairly normal; small kitchen, big open living room, and a hallway with the kids bathroom and the three bedrooms, there being a smaller bathroom in the master bedroom. Though, the height of the living room was two floors because above the kitchen there was a large loft type area, the stairs to it by the front door in the living room. That loft area was made into a video game room and basically the kids room, as much of a kids room as you can have for a 13 year old and a 16 year old. In it was a small closet where we stored the Rockstar guitars and drumset along with a ton of board games, the tiny closet had no door, it was just a tiny closet in a very inconvenient space in the middle of the part of the loft that overlooked the living room. Then on the other side where there was the actual wall, there was another door leading to a small room. Was it intended to be an extra bedroom? Strangely placed for that. It had a window on each of the three walls without the main door, one overlooking the driveway and two overlooking the surrounding woods. There was also a ceiling fan in it. The family used it as a storage room for just a bunch of random junk. Everyone dreaded going into that room, even Ashley's younger brother who was a bit too stupid to fear anything. This kid would rather jump off the loft onto the couch (about a 10-15 foot drop) than go into that room and he actually proved it. So, me and Ashley sat outside that room after taking a few months to gather up the courage and debate whether we should or not and we did the Ouija board. Every time you went into that room or even near the door, there was a heavy sense of dread. Dread, fear, nausea, migraines, all of it came from that room. So, we kind of assumed there was a demon in there. We braced ourselves as we started with the 'hello' and waited before I asked the first question. What we had gathered was that this was a kid from when the house was first built sometime in the mid 1900's, his name was Zach and he had died when he was just 15. He spent most, if not all of his time literally locked in the room. His father, maybe step father, we couldn't get a clear answer on that one, was a very not nice man who seemed to hate the boy, very little about his mother was found out because he was very vague and dodgy about questions about his mother. His father basically locked him in that room and barely let him leave, it was questionable as to whether he even went to school or not. His father beat him, starved him, and eventually he ended up dying due to the abuse and neglect. By then the emotions in that room were becoming too much for me and Ashley to bear and I said goodbye suddenly before going into the room, Ashley going to stop me but being too slow (she was still wary of it possibly being a demon who was lying to trick us because, well, us edgy teenagers thought everything was a demon), and I locked the door from the inside to keep her from getting in to stop me. She sighed and waited patiently outside the room. I sat in the middle of the room, cross legged, and honestly felt like I was going to either burst into tears or puke my guts up. I braved through it. I told the boy about my own abuse and neglect when I was not much younger than him, I told him that I understood and that it was okay to let go because the past couldn't keep you dragged down like this. He didn't have to spend his entire life in that room and that his father was no longer there to keep him in there. I told him that the events were in the past, and even if it still hurt, it was okay, because he wasn't alone. After that talk, it took about 15 minutes at the most, there was a metaphorical sigh of relief from the room. All the heaviness, all the dread, all the fear, it just...disappeared. The room was no longer painful, the room was now genuinely empty. I actually helped a spirit move on... Even Ashley felt it because as soon as he was gone, she asked very quietly if it was over and I unlocked the door and came out of the room and started crying. Even though the lighting hadn't changed at all, the room still seemed to glow a bit brighter from the sunlight. That's probably one of my favorite ghost stories to tell.

There was the time that I had a dream that I was by the school and saw a plane go down in the distance, shortly followed by a giant splash of water from where the plain would've landed in the distance. A few days later I watched the news and found out about Flight 370 going down. A similar premonition I had was less of a dream and more of a Final Destination sort of thing. I was sitting in the back seat, my boyfriend at the time (let's call him Gabe) was in the front passenger seat, and his best friend (let's call him Mark) was driving. Next thing I know my forehead was bloody, half of it mine and half of it not quite mine, and Mark was freaking the hell out. Then, just like in the FD movies, I was standing outside the car and we hadn't even left yet. I begged Gabe to sit in the back with me because I didn't wanna be lonely and he said only if the aux cord reached. Luckily it did. So he sat in the middle and I sat behind the passenger seat. We were going about 10 above the speed limit and a truck suddenly stopped in front of us. Mark slammed on his brakes about 30 feet behind the truck and, unfortunately, due to balding tires we skidding right into the back of the truck, causing the front end of Mark's brand new car to go under the back of the truck, push the engine into the car, and the passenger side airbag to deploy. After realizing what happened, we all exited the car. The only injury was Mark breaking his hand because he got so pissed about his brand new car that he punched a nearby stop sign. After taking the car to the mechanic to get it inspected for insurance purposes, it was revealed that I had saved Gabe's life. In the front passenger seat there was a ton of shrapnel that had shredded the front of that seat that would have definitely been at the right angle and height to shred Gabe's vital and vulnerably placed blood vessels.

[anoldwound]

Harmonium - Zach/Sendhil [RPS]

Title: Harmonium Characters/Pairings: Zach/Sendhil Rating: PG-13 Warnings: None Word Count: 1864 Summary:  It had been a little more than a year since he first realized that he harbored some weird kind of affection for Zach -- and not your typical friendly affection, the other kind, the dangerous kind -- and the feelings had evolved somewhat. Disclaimer: I am, of course, in no way insinuating that any of this is real. This is entirely fictional, and Zach and Sendhil are merely my puppets are being treated as fictional characters. Plz no sue kthnx. A/N: This is the final installment in my little Zach/Sendhil trilogy, the other two of which can be found here and here, although it's not necessary to have read those. This is also a charity fic for doctor_caduceus. Hope you like! Zach was… different. Something inside him had metamorphosed during the extended hiatus, while he was filming the Star Trek movie, as he began fully appreciating the celebrity that he had and would have even more of soon. He was still a nice guy, of course. He was just different now, somehow. Sendhil felt different himself. It had been a little more than a year since he first realized that he harbored some weird kind of affection for Zach -- and not your typical friendly affection, the other kind, the dangerous kind -- and the feelings had evolved somewhat. Instead of a chaotic panic, it was now more of a quiet thing, something that didn’t seem like such a big deal, even though it was.  He just liked to pretend it wasn’t. And, in his own private world, it wasn’t a problem, and he and Zach were able to frolic together through meadows while singing the score to The Sound of Music while Olga giggled at their homo antics. It was a nice little fantasy. Sendhil peered out of his trailer window and saw Zach laughing with Hayden over by the crafts table. He smirked slightly to himself. Milo then came over and gave Hayden a quick peck on the cheek, his hand on the small of her back, and Sendhil felt a flare of jealousy in his chest -- he wasn’t jealous of them, exactly, he just sort of wished it was him and Zach instead, and that thought sent up a wave of guilt. It was an annoying cycle that had become pretty routine by this point. He used to beat himself up over it at night, tossing and turning under the sheets in the bed he shared with Olga His Wife, the guilt eating away at his brain. He knew he shouldn’t feel so terrible -- it was perfectly normal and okay to get crushes on other people when you were married, so long as you never acted on it. Which he was not going to do. Not that it wouldn’t be easy enough… he was sure that if he just said the word, Zach would come running, and it was incredibly tempting, although he still never did it. But fuck if he didn’t really, really want to. He also knew, though, that he could never actually do it. Not only would it completely destroy his marriage, it would ruin the friendship he already had with Zach, he would possibly do damage to his career… and his family, he couldn’t just betray them because he was lusting after someone he worked with. And yeah, that was another thing, he worked with Zach. It would be completely inappropriate and… “Sendhil!” He blinked, startled; Zach was calling his name and waving to him from outside. He was wearing that ridiculous purple hoodie that made him more like a ‘mo than even Sendhil could have imagined. He opened his window. “Yeah, what, loser?” Sendhil called back. “You looked so wistful! It was really weird! Get out here!” Sendhil rolled his eyes good-naturedly and slammed the window shut. He was glad that he was able to keep things relatively normal with Zach, except for those times when they brushed against each other accidentally and Sendhil felt a chill go up his spine and he was certain you could see it in his eyes. “I need a ride to the grocery store,” Zach said as Sendhil came trotting outside. “My driver’s gone AWOL, so can you give me a lift?” “Sure,” said Sendhil, not even pausing to consider it. “You need to go right now?” “Yeah. I am in very desperate need of mac and cheese.” “You don’t have any in your trailer?” Milo asked, eyebrow raised. “I ate the last of it a couple minutes ago.” “Then why do you need more now?” “I just do, okay! Gosh, Mi,” Zach said, smiling. “Whatever. Have a great time, guys,” said Milo, when Hayden whispered something in his ear and he turned away from them. On the way to the car, Sendhil accidentally stepped in some sort of gooey substance that held him immobile for several moments, until he managed to yank himself out of it. --- “You know what’s really hilarious?” asked Zach as they crawled slowly down the street. Damn L.A. traffic. “What?” “I actually don’t have to go to the grocery store.” “Um.” He got a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. “Okay. Why are we driving, then?” “I had ulterior motives. I needed to get you alone.” Zach adjusted the rearview mirror, angling it more towards himself. “‘Alone’?” Sendhil smirked jokingly. “Are you planning to rape me while I’m driving? That’s kind of dangerous, you know. You could get us killed.” He put the rearview mirror back in its original position. “Can we keep the mirror there? Thanks.” “Be serious. I needed to talk to you about something in private.” “Well, what’d you need to talk about?” Sendhil fiddled with the mirror nervously. “About…” Zach swallowed and looked out the window. “I mean. You must know.” “Know what?” Oh dear God. This conversation wasn’t happening. It wasn’t. “I’ve…” Zach looked down at his hands, then peered cautiously up at him. “I’ve, well, kind of had a crush on you for a while. Uh, sorry.” Sendhil didn’t say anything. His skin felt like ice, and he gripped the steering wheel tighter. Zach brought the mirror to himself again and flicked his hair out of his eyes, then adjusted it back to somewhere near its original position, but it wasn’t the same. “Sendhil?” “Yeah?” “Are you mad?” “Mad? No, I’m not mad!” He looked at him disbelievingly for a second, then quickly jerked his head back to the front, unable to look Zach in the eyes. “Of course I’m not mad.” “What are you, then?” “I just… I don’t understand why you’re telling me this.” “Because I’m tired of lying to you. Tired of lying to myself.” “But what was the point? Did you seriously think something was going to happen or what?” “Of course I didn’t -- I thought you said you weren’t mad!” “I’m not! I’m just --” He took a deep breath. Traffic inched forward a little. “I’m just confused. Really, really confused.” “There’s nothing to be confused about. It’s pretty simple, really,” said Zach, trying to lighten the mood, but the car now had a sinister black cloud above it, and not even Zach was going to be able to get rid of it now. “Is it?” Sendhil snapped, finally turning towards him. “Is it simple? Because I don’t think it is. I’ve been turning it over and over in my mind for months and I don’t see anything simple about it at all. Not one little speck of it is ‘simple’.” Zach’s brows furrowed. “Wait… what the hell are you talking about? How have you been turning it in your head for months? Turning what in your head?” Realizing he’d said too much, Sendhil faced the road again. “Nothing,” he mumbled, and turned the radio on. “You already knew that I --?” “Let’s just drop it, Zach, okay? Just… pretend this conversation never happened.” He turned up the volume, Michael Buble blasting through the speakers. “No!” Zach angrily turned the volume down. “We’re talking about this. I don’t want things to be weird between us.” “Well, you’re a bit late for that! Months and months too late! Actually, a whole year too late!” “Would you shut the hell up and tell me what the fuck you’re talking about already, for fuck’s sake?” “I think I do too, all right?” “Think you do what?” “That I have some kind of weird crush on you too, man!” There was a horrible silence in the car then, the kind of silence that made your ears ring. “What?” Zach asked quietly. “Don’t ask me. I don’t fucking know.” Sendhil turned the volume back up and slumped down in his seat, hand on his forehead. Zach stared at him for several seconds, then settled back in his seat, his arms crossed. He looked… amazed. “Seriously? You’re not just joking around?” “I wish I was.” More silence. Sendhil hated this stupid traffic. He just wanted to turn around and go back to the set and then everything would be back to normal, so long as he didn’t have to stay in this stupid car anymore. “So… what do we do now?” Zach asked. “Well, the fun answer is we make out.” Zach laughed, and the air didn’t seem as tense. “Seriously.” “I really have no idea. Honestly, though? I just want to forget any of this ever happened.” “Because you know nothing’s ever going to be the same again, right?” Sendhil nodded. “I think it’ll be okay. I don’t think it’s gonna be as weird you think.” “Really? What makes you say that?” “This kind of thing… it’s happened to me before. Several times, actually. Get a crush on a married guy…” He coughed. “Most of the time I never told them, though. And they usually never reciprocated. But one time, he did, and we started a relationship, and that’s actually when things got weird, because we had to keep it a secret, which was kinda fun at first, but then it was always with the wife and the guilt and knowing that we could never be in a real relationship… the times I told the guy and my feelings weren’t returned and we stayed friends weren’t anywhere near as weird as that. It was better that way, I think. Except for the lack of sex.” “Dude, you ramble like a champion.” “I do, don’t I? I practice in front of the mirror a lot.” They chuckled, and Zach shoved his shoulder playfully. “You see?” he said. “We can still be friends. It’ll be strange at first, but after a while… it won’t be.” Sendhil smiled, but he remained uneasy. He didn’t see how it could ever be normal between them again -- if things had ever been normal -- but he supposed they would have to fake it until they made it. He was not going to lose his friendship with Zach because of this. He didn’t want to lose that, ever. Finally, traffic eased up, and Sendhil was able to turn back around towards the set. He opened the windows and let the breeze come in. He felt the wind ripple through his hair, and leaned his neck back slightly, letting it waft over him. Zach was staring at him, an odd and indecipherable look in his eyes. “What?” Sendhil asked, tittering nervously. “You’re just so --” He started to say, then broke off suddenly. “Uh, nothing. Sorry.” He cast his eyes downward and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Sendhil looked over at him, and felt his heart expand in a very strange way. He kind of half-smiled, and rested his hand on Zach’s shoulder, then turned back to the road. He felt Zach’s hand rest on his, and they drove back the rest of the way just like that, sharing a harmony with each other. It wasn’t enough, but it would do.