#the plotline is good the aesthetics are delicious

[valley-of-headcanons]

how the bachelors would react to getting a squishmallow || headcanons

they would love anything given to them by their favorite farmer <3

warnings: mostly just cute, slice-of-life <3 lots of images ahead

requested by: meeee, i got bored and wanted to write something so here this is lmao.

alex

• You HAD to give him Mario, just look at him! He's a Dusty look alike, and you know how much Alex cares about his dog. Plus, his parents want him to be an architect, but he's a pastry chef! How cool is that??

• Alex was excited when he saw the Squishmallow, smiling like an idiot when he wrapped his arms around it. He didn't really care about the tag, he just smooshed it close to his chest. He loved how soft it was, and knowing that you thought of him when you saw it made him incredibly happy.

• Will NOT admit that he sleeps with it every night. He has way too much pride for that. However, when you walk into his room and see him scrambling to put it somewhere else, it's an adorable sight.

• “How'd you find one that looks like Dusty? That's so cool! Thanks, I've gotta pay you back somehow!”

elliot

• Eiko the Octopus was the best one that you could think of for Elliot. Look at how esteemed his is! Profession aesthetic paired with romantic touches? That's Elliot if I've ever seen him!

• Of course, Elliot would cherish anything that you give him. This was no different, he saw it as if it were the greatest thing on planet Earth. He held it, showered it with praises and kisses, along with you.

• He has it placed on his writing desk, next to anything else you give him. However, he often talks to him. It's a better substitute for talking to himself, and he even refers to Eiko by name! Eiko is one of his best friends, and he is so grateful you blessed him with Eiko's presence.

• “Does this plotline sound stupid, Eiko? It's a romance novel, but it's set five billion years into the future, and the whole world has re set at this point? No, no- you're right. It IS stupid. Back to the drawing board ... Darling, don't come in here yet!”

harvery

• Dr. Hoot is perfect for Harvey. He is so adorable, and he's such a good doctor! Dr. Hoot and Dr. Harvey are perfect pals, and you're not allowed to keep them separated for two long!

• Harvey didn't really expect a gift, and he couldn't help but blush when you gave him such a thoughtful one. “Oh my- thank you! This is ... this is fantastic- you didn't have to do this, sweetie!”

• He keeps him on the top shelf in his office, far away from people's touch but close enough so that he can be seen. He doesn't want germs all over him, but he wants to help people calm their nerves! He does bring him down with the children, though. Dr. Hoot is a hit with them!

• He brings him down from the shelf at night and carries him to bed, making sure to wash him beforehand if he's been touched at all. It makes him smile, knowing that you care about him just as much as he cares about you.

sam

• It's Pep the Pizza. Look at him and all of his glory. He's a delivery driver, delivering himself? You don't know, but you and Sam will certainly have late night discussions about the topic! He also loves music, just like Sam! It's a perfect match.

• When you present the Squishmallow to Sam, his eyes light up with childlike wonder. He immediately starts reading the tag, reading it allowed slowly and understanding who this awesome slice of Pizza is. He's absolutely thrilled!

• He will absolutely throw it at you if you aren't paying attention, smacking you on the side of the face. This of course turns into a pillow fight, or more like a food fight? Who knows?

• “Why does he deliver pizza? Does he deliver himself? Or is he a cannibal, cooking his fellow pizzas? You let a criminal in my house, I can't believe you! ... eh, it's okay. He's delicious, so he can stay.”

sebastian

• Look at Stump, his perfect for anyone with a darker aesthetic. Perfect for Sebastian! It matches perfectly with his vibe, and his name is Stump. Straight to the point, look at him go!

• When you give it to Sebastian, he can't help but smile as he holds it, squishing it around. He can't stop looking between you and it, before hugging you. Stump is DEFINITELY incorporated in cuddle time, shoved between you two, making cuddles even more comfortable! Absolutely perfect.

• “This is really thoughtful, thank you ...” his face is super flushed and he can barely speak. He has short circuited. He loves any sweet gestures from you, and this was so thoughtful. He can't get over how cute you are.

• Robin has probably come down to his room to see the Squishmallow laying on his bed, which she asked about with a laugh. She knew about you, but she just had to tease her son. However, she was happy her son was with someone so loving.

shane

• If you don't give Shane a chicken, have you even played the game? You have to go with Reed, he's realistic, he's ... a chicken. Plus, he just has that vibe, y'know? That's a Shane chicken, definitely.

• When you said you had a gift for him, he just looked in your direction quietly. He wasn't expecting much, or anything valuable at all, but when you pulled Reed out ... he was really happy about it. He didn't expect something so sweet. He really liked it, you could tell by how he just stared at it with a slight grin.

• “This is ... nice, thank you. I wasn't expecting anything like this, but ... I appreciate it,” he said slowly, looking into your eyes. He's trying to communicate and show his affection. His trying his hardest.

• If Jas is having a nightmare, he'll pull out Reed to help her feel better. Of course, he'll ask for it back when she's feeling better. If she really really needs one, he'll buy one for her so that she'll have her own! She calls it twinsies, he calls it an extremely late birthday present.

[hellomynamiseglaf]

🌰Chestnuts and Warm Milk🍂

My List of ~Favorites~ for Interactive Fiction and Visual Novels

(This is a work in progress so please bear with me)

Interactive Fiction:

The Wayhaven Chronicles (WIP Series in Development) - @seraphinitegames  (Look,,, I’m just... obsessed.. I can’t stop thinking abt it,,, and I'm..... sometimes, I read and I think I feel like I know what love is.)

Mind Blind (WIP) - @mindblindbard (I just,, UGH it’s so good. I can't even say that much because my feelings about it are so potent that everytime I see an update I try to tell myself to leave it alone to play larger portions of updates as a treat and everytime my willpower FAILS and I replay the demo like twice in a row)

Demon: Recollect ; Forsaken (WIP) - both by @bathalafiction (whew...WHEW!!! Are you kidding me?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Look. I was attached to Demon: Recollect. I loved it. And then I played the Forsaken WIP and now I can't get over my absolutely BOMB character design for my player persona. Also it's kind of fun being considered a jerk in the game, because it opens up a lot of different options that I usually feel bad about taking)

Shadow Society - @carawenfiction (the concept is so interesting,, I dream of more. Also Quaiel...baby...)

The Soul Stone War - @intimidatingpuffinstudios (also whew!! I really enjoyed it and the characters all picture themselves really vividly in my mind for some reason.)

Greenwarden (WIP) - @fiddles-ifs (reading this is like thick fog.. but in a good way? I don't know how to describe it without pictures but this IF smells like fog over wet grass)

Divine Intervention (WIP) - @divineinterventiongame (the concept?? UGH SO GOOD. For some reason it's always the first game I click to check for updates)

Golden (WIP) - @milaswriting (😈😈😈😈)

Blood/line (WIP) - @bloodlineoffical (simply put,,, LARRY)

Supernatural in New York ; The Bastard of Camelot (both WIPs) - @llamagirl28  (UGH Both of these are so good in their own ways but equally as exciting to see updates for. I haven't consolidated my feelings much further than "my MC for SiNY is so cute" and "Mordred is a child" but they're all generally positive.)

Ace of Spades (WIP) - @steph-writing (I keep thinking about,,, con........)

Nevermoore (WIP) - @asteristories (AHHHHH.... let me say it again for those in the back: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)

Son of Satan: The Mortal Coil (WIP) - @sosthemortalcoil (YES.)

Shepherds of Haven (WIP) - @shepherds-of-haven (yes. I just have to sigh because it's very good and I like saying those funny little words of power. But also outside of the game I can only picture this game as a great, grey border collie)

Attollo (WIP) - @attollo (Also a very interesting concept, whoo... I almost forgot how immersive it was untill I played the demo again and was reminded of how 'into it' I was straight off the bat. Also the seperate, short little piece on the blog with Sysba was also really good and I had a dream about it the other day)

Into the Shadows (WIP) - @wynnakang​ (whooo.... I'm sighing again, but louder. I press restart and play the demo again)

A Comedy of Manors (WIP) - @sviyaginthegreat (I kept replaying options that I hadn't chosen before because I wanted there to be more lmao)

Fallen Hero: Rebirth - @fallen-hero (I think there's a sequel coming up? I haven't stopped thinking about this storyline since I finished it omg... the.. the details are really good and I've become ridiculously attached to my tragic villain? Character... she IS the standard for my reusable IF persona, or at least one of my most prominent ones ;-D )

Samurai of Hyuga (WIP series) - (I'm pretty sure multiplechoicestudios.com is the development blog for this game, or at least what I've been checking for updates..... this is a series with four book currently out.... and I've been playing through book 4 at slower than a snail's pace in a desperate attempt to prolong my experience. I really didn't think I was going to like it as much as I did but I got a little too into it and now I'm horribly attached to all the characters)

The Porthecrawl Witness(WIP) - @porthecrawl-witness (I'm pretty sure this is a WIP?? But ugh. SCREEEEEE- it's so good. It's SO GOOD. I really want to punch Talbot in the face. And Asher, if for a different reason. And sort of Staci just to try. Quinn is just a cutie I could never hurt him like that. Ugh but they're all so good and I forgot that I was reading a WIP untill it suddenly was over..... I'mfeeling really aggressive rn as I'm writing this, so please just note that the punch comment is meant as a statement on how interesting the concept and immersiveness of the characters and story is)

Forgotten Names (WIP) - by Alexandra_Zorila on the CoG Forum (turn the volume up. AHHHHHHHHHH!!! Look, look. It's..... delicious. It's SO interesting and I obsessively have a tab open on my computer to check for updates)

OFNA: Birds of a Feather (WIP) - @ofna (the vibes are so grey and smoky but the fog is definitely from a party smoke machine and the room is only dark because the walls are taped with those huge sheets of black construction paper that teachers use to cover their bulletin boards with... the game definitely falls in the 'dark and mysterious' genre but something just strikes me as really funny when I play it. Anyway it's good and it's in a lot if recommended lists for a reason. Also I'm very attached to my American Goldfinch)

More Things in Heaven and Earth (WIP) - @morethingsgame (in the same way that it's fun to play Guenevere in the Guenevere game or Mordred in The Bastard of Camelot, playing Ophelia in the sort-of Hamlet story is really fun. If anyone has read the Missing collection- which I absolutely love- by Margaret Peterson Haddix, this gives me similar vibes for some reason. Anyway, I really want to give Hamlet a hug and make him a flower crown or something)

A Tale of Crowns (WIP) - @ataleofcrowns (It's kind of not even funny how much I love this game... It's hard to even describe why I like it, just that it's so well rounded in terms of the story, characters, dialogue, and relationships. It's such an interesting plotline and it's pretty immersive. Also the first time I read the demo, there was an update as I was reading and the high that sent me on has very rarely been matched. Also Dara running to save my Crown in the tunnel?? 🤚😩🤭💓 ugh. UGH!! That's good food for my fool heart)

Scout: An Apocalypse Story (WIP)- @anya-dev (I'm usually not that into apocalypse themes/plots but I really enjoyed this game, and the plot was very good and intruiging... it really pulled me in and I like my character in the story a lot. I don't know why but it tastes like chikuwa, atsuage, and this specific type of carmelized onions that my mom makes sometimes)

Nothing left to burn (WIP)- @clowdee-works (......ouch. I *knew* what was going to happen and I STILL became attached to Drew)

Smoke and Velvet - @roast-ifs (It's good. And I am VEDY much into my character design. Also the story is really interesting, and I enjoy the setting a lot somehow)

Speaker (WIP)- @speakergame (very fun to play, and each update gets me more interested in the aspects of the plot. I also really like the little descriptions of what the characters think of the player)

The Nameless (WIP)- @parkerlyn (interesting plot, I like the characters a lot, and The aesthetics of this world are so interesting. Definitely had a good time visualizing what everything looked like)

Fields of Asphodel (WIP) - @asphodelgame (I think it's really cute so far!!! I like mythology in general, and the persephone/hades dynamic is *mwah!*... I like the way the story progresses in the beginning, and I think it works well in drawing the reader into the world. I also very much enjoy petting large dogs.)

...there are so much more.. and I have followed so many blogs.........

I'm not sure why I can't find it rn but there's this one WIP game that I really like where the MC buys a manor for like dollar and moves to go live there with her best friend and shenanigans ensue as they try to settle in and fix up the estate

Harbringer (WIP) - @harbringercog (....are you KIDDING me?? I was fully planning on just enjoying the demo and keeping a mental note to update the list sometime later,,, but this game... THIS GAME really made me fold. It's very immersive and regardless of how nervous the author claims to be after releasing the demo, it's of my humble opinion that those nerves can be calmed. It's very good. I was planning on procrastinating and reading a little bit and then going back to this essay I need to write, but somehow I got pulled in and ended up reading through the whole demo and it's apparent that I honestly had no chance of getting through this without becoming invested in the plot.... just... so good.. I'm very excited to see how this will progress)

Visual Novels:

Andromeda 6 (WIP) - @andromeda-six​  (I repeat: Obsessed, I come back every few months to see an update and I fall deeper into the hole every time...)

To the Edge of the Sky (WIP,, probably) - by Ajané (??) on Steam (I think, it’s been a while)

Next on my list to check out: Perfumare by pdrrook

Does.... does The Arcana game by Nix Hydra count as VN?? If so, then yes.

Similarly, the FictIF games are all entertaining, although Last Legacy and Heir to Love and Lies are my favorites rn (and.....unfinished....)

I also don't know if this counts, because I kind of consider Otome games to be their own genre, but on the Love 365: find your story by Voltage Inc. There are a bunch of fun stories, my favorite of which are: the Shinichi Kagari route on After School Affairs and the Saejima and Keiichiro routes on Bad Boys do it Better

..To be continued...

[knifeonmars]

Capsule Reviews, February 2021

Here's some things I've been reading.

The Curse of Brimstone 

DC's New Age of Heroes books, emerging from the beginning of Scott Snyder's creative-flameout-as-crossover-event Metal, mostly constituted riffs on Marvel heroes like the Fantastic Four (in The Terrifics) or the Hulk (in Damage). The Curse of Brimstone is a riff on Ghost Rider. It's... uneven. The first volume is generally pretty good, and when Phillip Tan is drawing it, as he does the first three and a half issues, it's gorgeous and unique, when he departs though, the quality takes a nose dive. None of the replacement artists, including the great Denis Cowan, can quite fill his shoes, and the story gets old fast. Guy makes a deal with the devil (or rather, a devil-like inhabitant of the "Dark Multiverse" as a not horribly handled tie-in to the conceits of Metal), realizes it's a raw deal, and rebels. The characters are flat, lots of time is spent with the main character's sister haranguing him to not use his powers (it is, in my humble opinion, something of a cardinal sin to have a character whose primary role is telling other characters to stop doing interesting things), too many potboiler "I know you're still in there!/I can feel this power consuming me!" exchanges, a couple of underwhelming guest spots (including a genuinely pointless appearance by the old, white, boring Doctor Fate) too many flashbacks, and not enough of the action. There's potential in the classic demonic hero rebelling plotline and its link to the liminal spaces of the DC universe, forgotten towns and economic depression, but the wheels come off this series pretty much as soon as Tan leaves. The really disappointing this is that the series is clearly built as an artistic showcase, so after Tan's shockingly early departure, the main appeal of the series is gone and there's nothing left but the playing out of an obviously threadbare story.

Star Wars - Boba Fett: Death, Lies, and Treachery

I don't care much about Star Wars these days, and I think that most of the old Expanded Universe was, as evidenced by Crimson Empire, pretty bad. Death, Lies, and Treachery, is that rare Star Wars EU comic which is actually good. John Wagner writes and he's in full-on 2000 AD mode, writing Boba Fett as a slightly more unpleasant Johnny Alpha (who is like a mercenary Judge Dredd, for those unfamiliar) right on down to the appearance of a funny alien sidekick for one of the characters. The main attraction is Cam Kennedy's art though, along with his inimitable colors: this might be the best looking Star Wars comic ever. The designs are all weird and chunky, with an almost kitbashed feeling that captures the lived in aesthetic of classic Star Wars, and the colors are one of a kind. Natural, neutral white light does not exist in this comic, everything is always bathed at all times in lurid greens or yellows, occasionally reds, and it looks incredible. In terms of "Expanded Universe" material for Star Wars, this hits the sweet spot of looking and feeling of a piece, but exploring the edges of the concept with a unique voice. It's great. I read this digitally, but I'd consider it a must-buy in print if I ever get the chance at a deal.

Zaroff

Zaroff is a French comic (novel? novella?). It's like 90 pages and it delivers exactly on its premise of "Die Hard starring the bad guy from The Most Dangerous Game." It's pretty good. Count Zaroff, he of the habitual hunting of humans, turns out to have killed a mafia don at some point, and after miraculously escaping his own seeming death at the end of the original story, finds himself hunted by the irate associates of this gangster, who have brought along Zaroff's sister and her kids to spice things up. Zaroff not only finds himself the hunt, but he also has to protect his estranged family as they struggle to survive. Nothing about this book or its twists and turns is likely to surprise you, but I don't think being surprised is always necessary for quality. Zaroff delivers on pulpy, early-20th century jungle action, is gorgeously rendered, and the fact that Zaroff himself is an unrepentant villain adds just enough of an unexpected element to the proceedings and character dynamics that it doesn't feel rote. There's a couple of points, ones typical of Eurocomics, which spark a slight sour note, such as some "period appropriate" racism and flashes of the male gaze, but for the most part these are relatively contained. It's good.

Batman: Gothic

Long before Grant Morrison did their Bat-epic, they wrote Batman: Gothic, an entirely different, but then again maybe not so different, kind of thing. It starts off with what must be called a riff on Fritz Lang's film, M, only where that story ends with a crew of gangsters deciding they cannot pass moral judgment on a deranged child-murderer, in Morrison's story they go ahead and kill him, only for the killer to return years later to rather horribly murder all of them as a warmup for a grandiose scheme involving unleashing a weaponized form of the bubonic plague on Gotham City as an offering to Satan. Along the way it turns out that said villain, one Mr. Whisper, is a former schoolmaster of Bruce Wayne's, who terrified the young Batman in the days before his parent's deaths. It's an earlier Morrison story and it shows. Certain elements presage their later Batman work; Mr. Whisper as a satanic enemy recalls the later Doctor Hurt, and the cathedral Mr. Whisper built to harvest souls recalls what writers like Morrison, Milligan, and Snyder would do concerning Gotham as a whole years later.The art, by Klaus Janson, is spectacular. If you're familiar at all with his work collaborating with Frank Miller you'll see him continuing in a similar vein and it's all quite good, even when he stretches beyond the street milieu which most readers might know him from. There's one particular sequence where Janson renders a needlessly complicated Rube Goldberg machine in motion that manages to work despite being static images. The writing by Morrison though, is not their finest. The M riff doesn't last as long as it could, and Mr. Whisper's turn in the latter half of the story from delicious creepy wraith to a cackling mass murderer who puts Batman in an easily escaped death trap feels like something of a letdown from the promise of the first half of the book. Gothic is good, but not, in my opinion, great. It's certainly worth checking out for Morrison fans however, and I imagine that someone well-versed in his latter Batman stuff might be able to find some real resonance between the two.

Green Arrow: The Longbow Hunters

For a long, long time, Longbow Hunters was THE Green Arrow story. It is to Green Arrow as TDKR is to Batman, deliberately so. Mike Grell wrote and drew the reinvention of the character from his role as the Justice League's resident limousine liberal to a gritty urban vigilante operating in Seattle over the course of these three issues, which he'd follow up with a subsequent ongoing. Going back to it, it certainly merits its reputation, but its far from timeless. Grell's art is unimpeachable absolutely incredible, with great splashes and spreads, subtle colors, and really great figure work. The narrative is almost so 80's it hurts though, revolving around West Coast serial killers, cocaine, the CIA and the Iran-Contra scandal, and the Yakuza, and it's hard to look back at some of this stuff without smirking. The story begins with a teenager strung out on tainted coke sprinting through a window in a scene that's right out of Reefer Madness. In the cold light of a day 30+ years later, parts of it look more than a little silly. The 80's-ness of it all doesn't stop with that stuff though, even the superhero elements smack of it. Green Arrow realizes that he's lost a step and has be to be shown a way forward by an Asian woman skilled in the martial arts (recalling Vic Sage's reinvention in the pages of The Question), and Black Canary gets captured and torture off-panel for the sake of showing that this is real crime now, not the superhero silliness they've dealt with before. The treatment of Black Canary here is pretty markedly heinous, it's a classic fridging and Grell's claims that he didn't intentionally imply sexual assault in his depiction of her torture is probably true, but still feels more than a little weak considering how he chose to render it.The final analysis is that this book is good, but it exists strictly in the frame of the 1980's. If you're a fan of Green Arrow, there are worse books to pick up, or if you're interested in that era of DC Comics it's more than worth it, but as a matter of general interest I wouldn't recommend it very highly.

SHIELD by Steranko

Jim Steranko is sort of the prodigy of the early Marvel years, a young guy who came up through the system, blossomed into an incredible talent, and then left the company, and by and large the industry, behind. He would go on to dabble in publishing, work in other mediums, and generally kick around as the prodigal son of Marvel Comics. This collection, of both his Nick Fury shorts in the pages of Strange Tales and the four issues he drew of the original Nick Fury solo series, charts Steranko's growth as an artist. The book starts off with Steranko working from Jack Kirby's layouts with Stan Lee's dialogue and writing, and Steranko might be the one guy in history for whom working off of Kirby's blueprints is clearly holding him back. The first third or so of this collection really isn't much to write home about, as Steranko is obviously constrained by someone else's style, and at the end of the day those early stories still read as somewhat uninspired pulp compared to the highlights of early Marvel. There are flashes though, of techniques and ideas, which foreshadow what Steranko is capable of, and when he finally takes over as solo writer/artist it's like he's been unleashed. He immediately has Nick Fury tear off his shirt and start throwing guys around over psychedelic effects. He writes out most of Kirby and Lee's frankly uninspired boys' club supporting cast, he makes Fury visibly older, wearier, but also so much cooler. It's the birth of Nick Fury as a distinctly comic book super spy.By the time he finishes wrapping up the previous writers' plotline with Hydra and Baron von Strucker, Steranko is firing on all cylinders. By the time it gets to Steranko's Fury solo series, he's somehow surpassed himself, turning in effects, panel structures, and weird stories which make the earlier installment about a suit-wearing Man from UNCLE knockoff and its strict six-panel layouts look absolutely fossilized.I can't recommend this collection highly enough for any fan of the artform, even if the stories themselves might not be everyone's cup of tear. It's truly incredible to watch Steranko emerge as an artist over the course of this single collection. The book itself has a few problems, it's not the most elegantly designed in its supporting materials and index, but the content of it more than outweighs that. It's great stuff.

[orsuliya]

Let it be known that I have fallen to the forces of Chaos. Which mean that after many, many years of relative sanity I decided to catch up with the recent developments in the Warhammer 40.000 universe.

Now, I loved that bloody, golden, full-of-skulls, grimdark thing once upon a time, but it did go a bit stale, what with the Corpse Emperor God Emperor of Mankind rotting on his golden throne, the Inquisition doing... inquisitiony things and the hero-planet of Cadia still standing against any odds. So I bailed. Okay, to be honest, I bailed but for one guilty pleasure, namely watching the glorious If The Emperor Had A Text-To-Speech Device series. Which so does not count!

And then I heard the Ultramarines chant once again and remembered all the glories of soup. (If you listen to it long enough and know Russian, you too shall be enlightened. For all non-Russian speakers, it really does sound as if the lyrics talk about cooking some amazing soup and then eating it. It’s... a thing.) Wait, I said to myself, they released a Roboute Guilliman figure, right? I saw that, not like you can miss it with it’s... very subtle aesthetics. And I sure saw an amazing figure of Magnus the Red (who, let it be known, didn’t betray anyone, oh, and Leman Russ is a bitch). So are the Primarchs back or something, I asked the Corpse Emperor God Emperor. There was no answer. So I went to do some research.

And once I did, I actually picked up a WH40K novel (or two). Again. And let me tell you, those are usually a dredge to get through. A very grimdark, testosterone-dripping, wordy, ridiculously epic dredge. *shudders* Some are readable. Some... are not.

Anyway, the ones I did pick up were the Dark Imperium series first two entries, because my beautiful Smurf Boy Roboute Guilliman is back and was there ever any other choice? Rhetoric question of course. If you are still reading and have no idea whom am I talking about, a quick recap:

Once upon a time there was a universe that was so ridiculously grimdark that it wasn’t even funny. Although sometimes it was grimdark in very funny ways. Humanity spread throughout the Galaxy, then got hit hard with Bad Things, mostly courtesy of themselves. Then an egotistical gold-loving Immortal Man With A Plan decided to unfuck the Galaxy. In order to do that he made - after some rather disastrous demo versions - an army of GMO-supersoldiers, using genetic material harvested from twenty vat-grown fetuses of super-superhumans. Those fetuses? His so-called sons, the Primarchs. Who got baby-napped by the powers of Chaos and thrown into space. Where they grew up into killing-machines, each one on a grimdark planet of his own, until Daddy Emperor picked them up and sent them a-crusading, that is a-conquering the Galaxy for Humankind. Never paid any child-support, the bastard. Anyway, they did... reasonably well with this whole Galaxy-conquering thing. And then things happened, which ended in half of the Primarchs going full Daemon, the other half fucking off in a non-constructive manner and into unknown direction, one of them becoming a sainted martyr and the Emperor becoming a skeleton and sitting on his Golden Throne for the next 10.000 years. Ah, no, sorry, one Primarch tried to put things into order, but the only thing he got as his reward was his Daemonic Bro’s sword to the neck... and spending the next 10.000 years as a bloody tourist attraction. And that was Roboute Guilliman, The Supposedly Boring And Weak One. Meanwhile, the Galaxy went to hell by the way of religious fanatics, xeno incursions and Chaos shenanigans.

After years of marinating it its own sauce the WH40K universe finally started to move. And move fast! The hero-planet of Cadia got smashed to pieces, Warp-rifts basically tore the galaxy... also to pieces and things got so bad that even the space elves decided to help. Which they actually did (!) by getting that tourist attraction of a Primarch off his non-golden throne by the way of technological fuckery and death magic. Accidentally they chose to revive the one Primarch who was actually good at state-building and logistics, and unlike most of his brothers was actually sane to start with. 

Well, now he’s still sane. And, which is rather new, deliciously bitchy. See, he returned to life, stood up from his bier-chair, massacred an entire army of Khornites by himself, went to talk to his Dead Emperor Dad, got hit in the face by Daddy Issues, massacred another army, got into a screaming match with his Evil Brother, forced useless supergolden supersoldiers to actually do something after 10k years on sitting on their asses, pulled some well-marinated super-supersoldiers from the basement of some creepy tech-person and went a-crusading. Only his version of a-crusading was suspiciously similar to taking a stroll with his closest buddies and stabilizing the realm. Only it took longer that six months in this case. 112 years long, to be precise. At the end of which he went back to his own his own province... in order to defend it from a Chaos incursion courtesy of the local Plague God and another Evil Brother.

That’s tough, buddy, one might say and they would be completely right. What gets me about this plotline is not the novelty of somebody actually doing some good on a galaxy-wide scale and being a decent person about it (which by local standards means not killing one’s own and choosing to actually heal the sick instead of bombing their planets from the orbit). I knew that would happen the moment I saw which Primarch got revived. What gets me is how internally bitchy the guy gets about it, although in a rather stoic way. And I don’t blame him. If I was a part of a group project, did about half of the work by myself, saw that project implode by no fault of my own, then managed to salvage some of it, then chose to sacrifice myself to save that small salvaged scrap, hoping that everything would turn out okay once the new team took over... and then woke up to find that project utterly fucked in ways thay I could have never imagined with myself being the only competent project manager around, I would be bitchy too.

Not to mention that poor guy has to deal with 24/7 physical pain as well as the realization that Big Emperor Daddy never loved any of his sons, only seeing them as tools and only allowing them to believe in this whole family bullshit for his own gain. Big Daddy told him so mind-to-mind. Yay.

Also, people are now insisting that Big Daddy is God Daddy and he himself is the Son of God. Something he would very much like to keep denying, but he can’t, because the whole bloody Empire he’s so desperately trying to save is now powered by a fanatical horror of a religion, one dangerously prone to mass-murder and causing planetary exctinction events. And they are thiiiiis close to calling him a heretic, despite technically being the Son of God.

Oh, and apparently technology went backwards. Backwards and sideways! So bloody sideways that it’s a matter of course to have flying loudspeakers shaped like golden cherubs... made using baby corpses. As in corpses of actual babies. Tasteless and not even well-crafted, ugh. The architecture is pretty unrecognizable too with all the unnecessary things piled on top of other unnecessary things.

You’d think that that was enough, right? Yeah, no. The guy also hasn’t properly slept in 112 years! Which, okay, GMO-demigod, but still.

Kill me now, but I enjoyed Dark Imperium. A lot. More than I remember ever enjoying a WH40K novel, which is curious, since this one is still a wordy awkward dredge, even if a rather lovely one, and my taste should have drastically improved since the times of old. I guess the next one for me is going to be The Regent’s Shadow. You see, I would really like to see the batshit insane oligarchs of Terra try to pull one on a guy who got into non-bloody empire-building at fourteen. Boring he may be, stupid he is not.

Wrapping this rather random rant up - I do think that the 8th and 9th editions of Warhammer 40.000 (2017 and 2020) were a breath of fresh air, at least lore-wise. Will have to do some research as to how the actual rules might have changed, but it really doesn’t matter since I was always more of a lore-gal anyway. It’s also, I think, a great moment to actually get into this thing, since there is a dynamic, galaxy-scale, linear plotline to follow. Which, let me tell you, is not something that happens all that often. But please, please, please don’t get into this thing!

[samsonet]

celebrity beef

There are three dynamics the paparazzi can’t get enough of: passionate love, passionate rivalry… and passionate hate.

Nessa’s aiming for love with Sonia. She’s trying for rivalry with Milo. What’s left of her heart — the part that hates — belongs to Piers.

Theoretically, anyway.

*

Nessa’s halfway through her glass of wine when the room goes silent.

The reason for the silence holds his head up high, lip curled as though he’s physically restraining himself from calling everyone tossers.

Talk about a first impression.

Piers Camburn, Spikemuth’s gym leader. Piers Camburn, the one trainer in the league who refuses to Dynamax. Piers Camburn, the grungy punk rocker who is the complete opposite of Nessa and everything Hulbury represents.

It’s a recurring plotline, this beef they have going. Nessa is proud, almost Mean Girl-ishly so. Piers is stubborn, digging in his skull-studded heels when anyone dares ask him to follow the same rules as everyone else.

The event photographers get their shots. Nessa is expecting that, even counting on it.

There are three dynamics the paparazzi can’t get enough of: passionate love, passionate rivalry… and passionate hate.

Nessa’s aiming for love with Sonia. She’s trying for rivalry with Milo. What’s left of her heart — the part that hates — belongs to Piers.

Theoretically, anyway.

She watches from across the room, looking for her sign.

Piers makes eye contact with her. He licks his lips, their signal.

She turns to Kabu and Milo and says, “I just remembered. I left my purse downstairs — could you get it for me? I’d go myself, but I’m wearing heels.”

Kabu raises an eyebrow, then casts a meaningful look toward Piers. He must know she’s just trying to get them out of the way.

What he says, though, is “what does your purse look like?”

In minutes he and Milo are out of the room. Nessa takes another sip of her wine.

Then she says, in a voice soft enough to be plausibly private but loud enough to definitely be heard, “Look who the Purrloin dragged in.”

Right on cue, Piers turns to glare at her. “Something to share with the class, Ms. Hannan?”

“Oh, nothing,” she says, raising her glass to her lips. The merlot is bitter, delicious. “Just surprised you decided to come, considering you’ve blown off the last six events.”

The other guests retreat near the walls, clearing a battleground. Nessa knows this movement well: it’s how the Chewtle act when Golisopod and Grapploct prepare to fight.

Piers stares at her like he’s sizing her up. “Some of us need to care for our gyms, Ness’. We ain’t all spoiled models like you.”

“Some of us know how to accept help, Piers.”

Strike. Dodge. Strike again. Their argument is a dance. In her mind, Nessa sets it to music.

It’s not a party without a little drama.

“How’s Hulbury treating you lately?” Piers asks. “Having fun down there at the bottom of the league?”

“It’s wonderful. How’s your stadium? Oh, right. You don’t have one, because you’re so special you can fight without Dynamaxing.”

They’ve got rules about this: battle skill, personal aesthetic, their friends, whatever — almost anything is fair game. The only parts that aren’t are their Pokémon and their sisters.

Piers has a sharp tongue, but so does Nessa. She knows neither of them take it personally.

“Bold words for someone who’s never struggled a day in her life.”

“I’ve fought and won what I have! You were given everything!”

They let the tension hang for a moment.

“Don’t talk to me about competition until you prove you’re worth it.” Then Piers gives the signal that he’s ready to end this: “Even Milo doesn’t think you’re good enough to be his rival.”

(That’s another reason why she had to get Milo out of the way before they started.)

Nessa gasps loudly, putting on her most offended expression. She stomps up to Piers and gets in his space, so close their noses almost touch.

“You. Don’t. Know. Anything. About us.”

Piers snorts.

Nessa takes her wine glass and pours it over his head.

*

Melony insists on taking Nessa home after that. Probably some motherly instincts or whatnot. Nessa allows the other to walk her out of the ballroom, noting with some satisfaction that the great Raihan is leading Piers out the other door.

Later that night, after she gets Melony to go back to Circhester, Nessa heads to Spikemuth.

Piers lets her in through the side gate. Nobody is around to see them. Even if they were, people in Spikemuth know not to mess in their gym leader’s business.

Which is good. Because for all the wine she’d sipped at the party, Nessa’s looking forward to hitting the hard stuff.

Piers doesn’t disappoint.

“Well,” he says, slamming down his whiskey glass, “if that doesn’t get us trending on Chattr, I don’t know what will.”

Nessa downs hers. “Cheers to that.”

Because that’s what it’s all about, in the end. Fights mean drama, drama means attention, attention means tickets to their next exhibition match will sell out in minutes.

Good for Nessa. Good for Piers. Good for Hulbury and Spikemuth.

And all it takes is pretending they can’t stand each other.

Nessa pours another glass.

She sips this one, savoring the burn. “My sponsors are getting on my case again.”

“Wankers.” That’s Piers, always taking her side without even asking if she might be in the wrong. “What is it now?”

“Social media presence. I got tagged in an unflattering photo and they’re mad.”

“Tossers. What other people post is not your problem.”

“Exactly! I love being a gym leader, don’t get me wrong, but — Arceus. I wish they’d leave me the fuck alone sometimes.”

Piers nods sympathetically. Nessa remembers, vaguely, that he doesn’t deal with sponsors, because Spikemuth gym is sponsored by Spikemuth’s own chamber of commerce. He doesn’t get the money that Nessa does, but he doesn’t have to deal with the headaches either.

Now that she’s vented a bit, she tries to think of something a bit more fun to talk about. “How’s Marnie doing?

This gets a genuine smile from him. “She’s great. I’m teaching her type advantages. She’s got a real knack for it, you know? In a couple of years she’ll be strong enough to beat Leon. Heh… What about your sister? Dart, right? She doing okay?”

“Dart’s alright. She hates your guts. Sorry about that, I can’t tell her the truth or she’ll be blabbing to everybody about it.”

“No problem. I get it.” Idly, he takes a lock of hair and starts twirling it. It’s a motion Nessa’s seen Sonia do a thousand times, but of course it looks different on Piers. Not least because that part of his usually-white hair has been stained pink from the wine she threw on him.

“Did you… were you going to take a shower? Sorry about that, I didn’t think it’d stain your hair.”

“It’s no problem,” he repeats. “It was going to stain anyway, with how long it took just to get here. It’ll go back to normal in a few weeks. Besides, havin’ it be visible like that, it’ll help sell the story, yeah?”

She nods. “Yeah… Well. I look forward to seeing Marnie challenge my gym. I promise I’ll be nice to her.”

“I promise to watch as she kicks yer arse. I’ll get the director’s cut, even.”

The director’s cut. For some reason, this strikes her as hilarious. She laughs loudly — and in a moment, Piers is laughing too.

They spend the next hour laughing together, enjoying the whiskey as the neon signs of Spikemuth flicker outside the window.

*

In the early hours of the morning, Nessa leaves the city. She calls a taxi from route nine, giving the driver a generous tip and requesting his silence.

By sunrise, she’s home.

[tiredmoonslut]

Yall, season five is the best

Can we all just stop and appreciate how good this season has been? Usually shows fizzle and die after Season 4 but the writers really found the perfect way to switch up all of the character roles and emotional dynamics and introduce new plotlines while still staying true to their theme and aesthetic. Like, everybody’s been shifted left on the pipeline. 

I’m not a fan of big time jumps being used as major plot points but whatever happened in the writers’ room really made it work. All of the angst and tension has been utterly delicious and I honestly have no clue how this season is gonna end I just know it’s gonna be WILD. 

[beautiful-rebellious-sunflower]

The 100 season 2 episode...whatever...aka Survival of the Fittest aka ITS THE FRICKING WEIRD GORILLA EPISODE I’M NOT NEARLY DRUNK ENOUGH FOR THIS

I mean there’s good shit in this episode too I guess

liking this Bellamy and Lincoln bonding with bonus Lincoln backstory for example

and Indra and her squad marching into Arkadia is such a LOOK

SHUT UP JAHA NOBODY ASKED YOU

oh season 2 Murphy you are a beautiful disaster

MAJOR BYRNE OH NO I JUST REMEMBERED WHAT HAPPENS TO HER IN THIS EPISODE

Byrne being like the personal bulldog guard of the Griffin Ladies is so precious to me

ohhhh my god season two Marcus Kane with his ever growing scruff is coming for my entire sexuality he’s so hot help I’m too gay for this

BYRNE NOOOOOOOOO

damn I’m genuinely tearing up, her last words are literally ‘Save yourself’

no one loves Byrne like I love Byrne :’(

oh no and now Kane is shooting a gun and he’s so good HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH THIS

HELL YEAH GORILLA TIME

this was such a fucking weird plotline

on the other hand, the start of the deliciously awkward Jaha and Murphy season two storyline is always a treat

I loveeeee Murphy just constantly calling Jaha out on his shit in the most brutal way, even though it kinda slides off him, it’s really nice to have someone do that

Indra yelling ‘NO DINNER!’ is my aesthetic lmao

Octavia’s hopeless fight that impresses Indra is pretty fucking badass too

ALSO KANE HELPING OCTAVIA UP AND TAKING CARE OF HER IS KIND OF MAKING ME EMOTIONAL NOW TOO IN RETROSPECT

this episode does have some good Clexa content and I think they’re both great characters and the evolution of their relationship and what they mean to each other is genuinely interesting but somehow I never really made an emotional connection to the two of them as a ship?

I mean you’d think as a lesbian woman in my 20s I would be super into them as a ship but somehow...eh, they had their moments I guess? I’m just pretty ambivalent towards them

‘We’ve both been betrayed and imprisoned by our own people’ UM FUCK YOU THELONIUS NO-ONE BETRAYED YOU, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO BETRAYED ABBY YOU LITERALLY TRIED TO HAVE HER DEPOSED AND LOCKED UP BECAUSE SHE DARED ARGUE WITH YOUR SHITTY ASS DECISIONS

yaaay the start of a beautiful broship between Indra and Kane <3

and a beautiful weird semi father/daughter relationship between Kane and Octavia

I hate to say this, but it’s kind of a hilarious burn that Lincoln got marked for the Cerberus program, but Doctor Tsing looks at Bellamy and is immediately like ‘harvest’

well this episode was...there, I guess

I feel like it’s the weakest of season two for me - not that it’s bad, but it was a lot of set-up, introducing important new dynamics and getting characters to where they need to be, but not really progressing the plot very much, with a strong focus on action scenes over any real substantial content

it has some good character moments though, and I feel like someone who cares more about Lexa and the Clarke/Lexa dynamic would probably get more out of it than I do

regardless, it’s not boring to rewatch or anything

it’s just kind of...there

[skarmorydraws]

@tyrantisterror ATOM Create-A-Kaiju Contest Entry #1: Julkath

Date Discovered: December 25th, 1954

Place of Origin: The Glacier Oasis

Notable Stomping Grounds: The Glacier Oasis, The Siberian Monster Zone

Height: 90 feet

Length: 175 feet

Biology: 

Julkath is a gigantic carnivoran, very closely related to all modern cats both wild and domesticated, although some aspects of his anatomy differ from any known modern feline. He has a barrel chest and stocky, muscular limbs rather like a bear, and flexible shoulders and hips, opposable thumbs, and dexterous paws that are disturbingly similar to those of primates. Though Julkath is by no means swift, he makes up for it by being both immensely strong and surprisingly acrobatic. His tail is thicker and more muscular than most cats, allowing it to be used as a prop so he can rear up on his hind legs for prolonged periods; the stability he gains from this tripodal stance, combined with his immense upper body strength, makes him excellent at grappling. Julkath is a much more active combatant than his bulk suggests, however, able to leap and clamber about, using the terrain to his advantage and pouncing from unexpected angles. His fighting moves are actually surprisingly similar to human wrestlers, save for the inclusion of razor-sharp retractable claws and enlarged, uniquely serrated canines. If feeling especially pressured, however, he can also unleash a deafening roar that can rupture eardrums at close range.

Julkath's evolutionary origin is not certain, for although his aforementioned relationship to modern felids certainly can’t be denied, the unusual aspects of his anatomy may be a hint that his ancestors diverged from the lineage millions of years ago. Scientists suspect that he may have evolved from a supposed race of Ice Age feline predators that were likely unusually intelligent and deft of paw even among their own kin, to the point that they would've evolved sapience had it not been for their sudden and mysterious extinction.

His territory is centered around what was once one of the few human settlements in what would become the Siberian Monster Zone, which happened to be close enough to the one nuclear test that the Russians attempted upon the kaiju that inhabited the area and also within proximity of the Yamaneon-rich Glacier Oasis. Despite being heavily fortified against most kaiju attacks, it was unfortunately susceptible to radioactive fallout from the blast and was quickly abandoned after the incident. In the years to follow the town was overtaken by plant life that absorbed the radiation; the animals that also colonized the region were thusly mutated upon consuming the irradiated vegetation, and to this day, the deer, pigs, and goats that live in the area grow much larger than anywhere else on Earth. Julkath himself probably moved in after escaping the Glacier Oasis in the aftermath of the nuclear blast, as the appeal of so many delicious meatbags was probably too tempting to ignore for anything big and strong enough to hunt them. It’s surprising that a super-large predator didn’t appear in the area sooner, as any wolves, bears, and wildcats in the area would certainly have mutated upon exploiting the irradiated herds currently living there; as it is, Julkath is likely the only creature capable of preying on the mutant plant-eaters he lords over, and may thus be the one thing capable of keeping their populations in check.

Julkath sports the standard kaiju set:

Super strength

An enhanced healing factor

Immunity to radiation

Booming Roar

Personality:

Most individuals, be it people or monsters, would be forgiven for believing Julkath to be a horrifying monstrosity, and with his unnatural anatomy and hulking ferocity he certainly looks the part. In truth, the great werecat is more antisocial and jealously protective than outright savage. He is almost defined by his obsessive vigilance over his territory, and utterly refuses to leave the area unless a global threat forces him into action - anything that spells doom for the whole planet certainly spells doom for his turf and food supply as well, after all. His stubborn insistence on remaining where he is makes him far less of a threat to civilization than any giant werecat has any right to be, and his solitary nature makes him much less likely to cooperate with others than most kaiju would appreciate. He’s an curmudgeonly, surly old geezer, and he apparently prefers to keep it that way.

However, observations from a safe distance may hint towards the possibility that his annoyance at basically everything may be a front to a certain extent. Despite being a well-armed colossus of fur, flesh, teeth, and claws, Julkath is still a cat at the end of the day, and far from being the majestic, rampaging terror presented by the media, he prefers to spend most of his free time doing cat things and nothing else. Eighteen hours of sleep, an hour or two of catching a couple of thirty-foot goats or boars, the remaining four or five hours playing with said goats or boars before devouring them, rinse and repeat. If anything, Julkath appears to be the kaiju equivalent of an aloof shepherd, content to keep an eye out on his livestock and simply watch the world go by. Monsters who think they can exploit this would be wise to have second thoughts, however; despite his habit of lazing around all day, it seems that Julkath is in fact keenly aware of the fragile ecological balance between him and his livestock, and that any disruption to it could lead to either the whole area being devastated by overgrazing or the werecat himself starving to death. As such, he will not hesitate to point out that anything that dares to plunder his territory does so at their own peril - more than one bloodthirsty or otherwise malicious kaiju has attempted to slaughter the oversized herd animals for ill-gotten sustenance, only for the furious feline to piledrive them into the dirt before ripping their throats out with his fearsome saber teeth.

First entry, yay! I’m aware that this is somewhat of a derivative entry, but I tried to make it stand out on its own. I hope I succeeded!

Julkath is based on Kal/Slashkal/Kalmorg, TT’s sabertooth monster who got cut from the current draft of ATOM because of difficulties trying to fit him in. I was sad to see Kal excluded from the main plotline, but with the contest allowing for redesigns of scrapped monsters to fit the 50′s/60′s kaiju aesthetic I figured I could jump on the challenge of making him work with the theme of the story. His design takes from the most current iteration of Kal, which basically composites his basis and look with the build of the mammoth kaiju that also got scrapped, for what I’m guessing are similar reasons. It’s a bulky, burly build that I liked a lot and suited the ambush predator nature of sabertooths in general. I always thought Kal looked rather plain even by the standards of ATOM, so I mixed in some lynx and snow leopard to give him a proper “snow cat” look. To make him look less boring I also decided to include aspects of one of Morg’s earlier drafts, wherein he could stand up and use his forepaws like hands. The overall look ended up becoming some kind of werebeast, and I don’t know if it fits as well with the 50′s theme as some of the other ATOM kaiju entries I’ve seen, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t at least partly influenced by the 1942 horror film, Cat People. (Speaking of, the date when Julkath was first sighted is also the date when the original Cat People was released, though the year is the same as when Mastemuth and Glypton also first appeared. ;D)  While I’m still not sure if his design exactly works with the 50′s/60′s sci-fi theme, his backstory certainly does - the fate of his territory is a dual homage to both the abandoned Chernobyl disaster site being overtaken by nature and populated by animals that would be hunted elsewhere, and the concept art for Ray Harryhausen’s proposed adaptation of H.G. Wells’ The Food of the Gods and How It Came to Earth, which sadly never saw the light of day.

Personality-wise, I basically combined aspects of Grumpy Cat (the internet depiction, not Tardar Sauce herself), the tusk cats from Star Wars, and actual cat behavior. Kal was defined entirely by his rivalry with Morg before both got cut, but I always thought that was kinda boring because if two characters exist only to fight each other, that leaves very little room for interactions with anyone else in the story. Julkath doesn’t have a specific arch-nemesis to be defined by, so he’s more akin to that irritable old recluse from too many family media works to count who yells at kids to GIT OFF MAH GODDAMN LAWN.

While his bio doesn’t give it away completely, my imagining for this guy was that as with several other animal groups such as lizards/snakes, fish, long-necked sea tyrants, and insects, Julkath’s ancestors would also have given rise to the magical felines that would have no doubt appeared in the fantasy era of TT’s alternate universe (if TT allows for that sort of thing). Cat monsters are a thing in nearly every continent, and I think it would only make sense to lump all of them into a single family! (I don’t know if this includes manticores and sphinxes too, but that’s for TT to decide.) His name is a portmanteau of two of these kitties in particular: Jólaköttur, the Icelandic Yule Cat, and the source of inspiration for that white spot on his chest, the Nordic Cat Sith.

I don’t know if suitimation or stop-motion would be good ways to bring this guy to life in a hypothetical 50′s film setting, but I can see either of them working pretty well - maybe even dressing up an actual cat and back-projecting it to look big like in The Killer Shrews, if you want to be especially silly.

[spoilsoflore]

Life is Strange: Reconciling Dontnod, pt. 3

The second fallacy is similar and occurs when Max pops into the past to save Chloe's dad. As long as Max takes William's keys, the timeline should change. Although it's amusing to chuck the keys out the back door, as far as we know, it's not actually necessary. William is involved in a car crash caused by external forces (most likely another driver, but possibly an animal or pedestrian in the road); therefore, if he leaves the house later for any reason, he should be driving in traffic patterns different from that of the accident. Unless Arcadia Bay's traffic lights are awkwardly long, Max's stalling and William's prolonged search should ensure he putters out into a whole new world... or at least a world a few minutes different.

Sure, this could mean that the accident occurs to another beloved Arcadia Bay resident; or, more tragically, William's delay could somehow result in harm to Joyce. But, we'll never know. A valid excuse for Max's actions might be panic yet again, with her flinging the keys into the yard (or the sink) in a frenetic state. And also, nothing suggests that William leaving later in his own vehicle would prevent the accident that eventually cripples Chloe in this alternate timeline. So, this fallacy's more forgiving in the greater narrative picture; but, it demonstrates an underestimation of time's impact.

And so we land upon Dontnod's dirty habit (nothing too kinky and no muddy nuns, as far as we know). The studio tends to focus on aesthetics and game mechanics, which has generated worlds with delicious depth and intriguing puzzles! But, that's somewhat at the cost of story and player agency. Although the stories introduce engaging premises and enthralling plotlines, momentum is often thwarted by game mechanics. Essentially, the story stumbles as it tries to apply and, particularly, spotlight these features.

For instance, is there any reason why the events with Chloe's dad couldn't have concluded with Max simply holding onto the keys and stalling? Events should still change, and the only reason to require tossing the keys into the yard (or the sink, if you have to go with the less cruel option) would be to force the player to use the rewind ability again. Optimistically, these actions could've had an amusing payoff in the future of this instance--either Chloe recalling soapy keys in the sink or Max stumbling across crusty keys in the backyard; but, neither happens, and the story sees little impact from either choice because the focus is the mechanic, not the player's solution to the puzzle or the narrative. A couple of other examples include not being able to snoop through Brooke's backpack until after being insulted and not being able to confront Dana before man'dling her pregnancy test.

Life is Strange isn't the first game to emphasize game mechanics over player agency; but, other games in the genre have been more subtle about it, and mechanics are often highlighted with good reason. For instance, not skinning kills in Assassin's Creed III seems a rather extreme reason for a desynch, but the mechanic feeds into a crafting and market system that was new to the franchise at the time. The penalty ensured players weren't floundering for resources throughout the game, and it also emphasized the main character's background. Recent TellTale games feature a similar illusion of choice overall, but they integrate mechanics naturally and rarely prevent player interaction for the convenience of plot priorities. Additionally, narrative is so strong in most TellTale games that most scenarios seem feasible and account for a range of play styles.

-TBC-