#the roommate and I kept ranting about how Wrong Ryan is being

[thelastspeecher]

watching the Ancient Aliens episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved and pausing every two minutes to rant once they get to the Pyramids of Giza part bc I was one of those Egyptology kids and I will NOT stand for this fucking SLANDER

[igottoomuchwriting]

Fights Aren’t Always Two-Way Roads

Being on the police force was more stressful than people thought. Everyone thought it was easy, fun work to be a detective, to go from crime scene to crime scene and hunt down the bad guys. 

In reality, it was a sad and terrifying work environment with a desk job thrown on top. The nights Diego was able to sleep, he was still on call and it wasn’t uncommon for Patch or the lieutenant to call him to a scene. Diego was close to losing his mind.

When his buddy Ryan invited him and a few other cops out he was quick to accept. It would have been fun and realizing if Diego hadn’t lost the rock, paper, scissors—yes, that is how they decided—game and was crowned the designated driver. Even though Patch offered to also stay sober so he wasn’t alone, Diego was still upset. He wanted to relax.

“Hey, Diego,” Patch yelled in his ear. It was about 11:30 at this point and the bar was booming. All of their friends had taken over a table and were ordering round after round of shots and dancing like half of them didn’t have a shift the next day. “Isn’t that your brother's boyfriend over there?”

Diego quickly turned around to face the bar. He followed Patch’s gaze and sure enough, Dave Katz was sitting at the bar.

“It is,” he yelled back in confusion.

“I didn’t think he was the type to go out to a bar with Klaus.”

“This is not a bar that Klaus would find himself at.” Patch looked just as confused.

“Then why would he be here?”

“I don’t know.”

Patch and Diego both watched the man. Diego noticed that he wasn’t wearing anything special—in fact, it looked like he still had his work clothes on. His shoulders were hunched over and his head was down with sight of Klaus or any friend near him.

Diego may not know a lot about Dave, but he knows this is out of the norm.

“I’m gonna go check on him,” Diego said. 

“I’ll keep an eye on these idiots,” Patch assured. With a nod, Diego made his way to the bar.

Dave didn’t bother to life his head as DIego stood next to him. 

“Dave,” he called. Dave snapped his head up to Diego in shock. After a moment he recognized Diego and a loopy grin took over.

“H-Hey Diego,” he slurred. This guy was hammered.

“What’re you doing here?”

“Drinkin’.” He held up his half empty bottle of beer as a demonstration. “You wanna join me?”

“I don't think that’s a good idea,” Diego scolded. The smile dropped off of his face.

“Oh, why not?” he pouted. “It’s not—I’m not—it—oh!” he gasped. “Oh no, am I not ‘sposed to be drunk? I’m sorry… Sorry Diego.” Diego didn’t know whether he should laugh or be worried. It seemed Dave was a toddler when he got drunk, always sorry and wild emotions.

“You can get drunk, Dave,” Diego quickly assured him. “Are you alone?”

“Yeah,” he slurred. Diego watched him take another sip of his drink.

“Where’s Klaus? Did he not want to come with?” Apparently that was the wrong thing to bring up. Dave’s face dropped into the saddest look Diego had ever seen a grown man have.

“Klaus—Klaus, he...uh,” he swallowed, “he kicked me out.”

“He kicked you out?” Isn’t it Dave’s apartment? “Why?”

“It’s my fault,” he mumbled before taking another swig of his beer. 

“Okay.” Diego reached over and grabbed the bottle. Dave whined as he took it away but he didn’t try reaching for it. 

“Diego, that’s mine!” 

“You’re already very drunk. I’m cutting you off.”

“Okay,” Dave complied. Diego is so grateful that he is an easy drunk. Even after years of training, fighting, and working out, Diego doubts he would have been able to handle Dave if he was anything other than happy.

“Why did you come here after Klaus kicked you out?” He might as well get to the bottom of whatever is happening in his brother’s love life. 

“Well, Klaus always drinks when he’s sad, so I decided that I could try.:

“Try getting drunk to be happy?” Dave let out a full body laugh. Diego had to catch him before he fell off of the stool.

“Yeah!”

“Did it work?”

Another laugh. “No.”

Diego shook his head. Dave seemed like such a happy guy who knew what he wanted in life and how to get there. If Diego had seen him walking down the street he would assume he was an All-American family man with a wife and two beautiful kids, living the best life that he can. He would have never guessed he would be the man who is so beat up by a fight with his boyfriend that he goes to drink himself into the ground. 

“I think we should take you home.”

“Back to your house? Because I can’ go back to mine,” Dave mumbled. “Peter won’ let me in and Klaus won’ want to see me.” 

Diego cursed under his breath. How bad did Dave mess up if his roommate was on Klaus’s side?

“Sure,” he agreed. “We can go to my place. Just let me go talk to Patch.” When he was sure Dave would stay and not fall as soon as Diego left, he made his way back to his buddies.

“I’m guessing he’s not okay?” Patch asked as Diego approached.

“He’s really not,” Diego sighed. “Apparently he and Klaus got in a fight and Klaus kicked him out.”

“Does he need somewhere to stay?”

“I don’t know yet. I have to ask Klaus.” Diego placed a kiss on top of Patch’s head as he leaned down to pick up his keys. “I gotta go before Dave breaks something.”

He made his way back to Dave who was thankfully still sitting at the bar. He had his phone out and Diego saw he trying to unlock it, though it wasn’t taking his thumbprint.

“What are you doing, Dave?”

“Tryin’ to text Klaus,” he slurred. Diego sighed. He knew that Dave was the last person that Klaus wanted to hear from right now, and it would not make it any better if it was drunk Dave trying to contact him.

“Alright bud.” Diego reached over and picked the phone easily from the man’s hand. “Let’s get going.”

Diego decided the best thing would be for Dave to crash at his place. He still doesn’t know what Dave did to upset Klaus  and his roommate, so he doesn’t want to start a feud. Diego had been hoping on the car ride home that Dave would be quiet. 

That wasn’t the case.

Before they left the bar Diego shot Klaus a text that he found Dave and was taking him home. Dave was messing with his phone (“I want to listen to music.” “I don’t have an aux.”) when Klaus responded and this prompted a tear filled rant about how perfect Klaus is and how in love he is and how he would love to marry Klaus. It had then turned into a rant of how he was a bad boyfriend for Klaus and that he should break up with Dave and he has the right to hate him.

Diego had no idea what to do. He didn’t know the story because Dave wouldn’t tell him and he can’t call Klaus with Dave within ear shot. He doesn’t know if Klaus will get mad at Dave hearing them or if Klaus will even tell him. Klaus has always been a secretive person when it comes to things that upset him. Even if they are getting closer as siblings, he can’t change Klaus’s personality, especially if it has been formed after years of abuse from their father.

“Alright Katz,” Diego huffed. They finally arrived at Diego’s apartment complex after a long ride of nothing but sad stories. “Time to go inside.”

“Are we going to see Klaus?” he slurred.

“No, we’re staying at my house for a bit.”

“Okay.” Diego helped Dave out of the car and to the elevator inside. He could take the stairs, but Dave is beginning to be antsy and trying to do things on his own and Diego is not going to be charged with his brother’s boyfriend’s death. 

“I want to take a nap,” Dave mumbled as they reached Diego’s door. 

“We’re almost inside. Then you can sleep.”

“Okay.” Diego let Dave lean against the wall as he pulled out his keys. It wasn’t long till the duo was stumbling into Diegos’s living room. Diego sat Dave down on the sofa who immediately laid down with a groan. 

“Will you be alright, Dave?” Diego asked.

“Yeah.”

“Alright. I’ll be in the kitchen, so just yell if you need something.” 

Diego walked into his small kitchen—or kitchenette as Patch would call it—and pulled out his phone. He really needed to get to the bottom of this.

He kept an eye on Dave from around the corner while he listened to the phone ring.

And ring.

And ring.

“Hello?” A voice Diego does not recognize at all answered.

“Who is this?” Diego immediately snapped.

“This is Peter, Klaus’s roommate.” Oh. Diego took a deep breath to calm himself down.

“Great. Can I talk to Klaus?”

“He really doesn’t want to—” Peter abruptly stopped. He heard mumbling on the other side of the phone, as well as Peter’s muffled voice say “It’s Diego”. There was more shuffling and talking on the other side before the silence was broken. 

“Diego?” he heard Klaus croak. Diego could tell Klaus has been crying for a while, based on how tired and broken he sounded. 

“Hey Klaus. How are you doing?”

“Could be better,” he mumbled. “You said you found Dave?”

“Yeah,” Diego sighed. “He was at the bar my coworkers and I decided to go to.” Klaus let out a surprised squeak.

“A bar?”

“Yeah?” There was more mumbling on the other side. Diego glanced at Dave to see he was now sitting up, but wasn’t doing anything.

“What was he doing there?” Klaus asked. 

“Getting drunk off his ass. Does he do that often?”

“The only times he would drink is if either Peter or I convinced him, and even then he wouldn’t be blackout drunk.”

“I think your fight did a number on him.” Klaus stayed silent. Diego continued. “He was going on about how he was a bad boyfriend, that you were too good for him can how you should break up with him.” A shaky ‘fuck’ escaped Klaus. Diego waited a few moments to give Klaus time to say anything., but the man stayed silent.

“What was your fight about?”

“I—He—” he started stumbling. 

“I only want to understand, Klaus,” Diego softly spoke. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. I can wait for Dave to sober up and he can tell me.”

“No! NO, I can tell you.” Klaus paused once again. “It’s just… promise you won’t flip out on Dave?”

“What happened?” Diego couldn’t make a promise like that. It seemed that this fight was one of their worst. 

“Diego, please,” Klaus pleaded. Diego thought it over. If Klaus really wanted him to promise, then it means he is already on the road to forgiving Dave. What Diego is afraid of is breaking the promise and pissing Klaus off indefinitely. 

“Okay,” he relented. He rather ask for forgiveness. “I promise to not flip out on Dave.”

“Okay,” Klaus sighed. Diego gave him a moment to collect himself. 

He heard Peter mumbling to Klaus on the other side, either trying to cheer Klaus up or talk him out of this.

“So my cravings have been really bad lately,” Klaus started. “I’ve been stressed about this new job and getting control over my new powers, so I’ve been very on edge. Peter and Dave both knew this.” Klaus took a shaky breath. 

“Apparently Dave had been working a lot of overtime and hadn’t told me. He didn’t want me to feel guilty about me quitting my job and make me feel like I am forcing him to work overtime. When he came home today I had already gotten in a fight with ben because he wouldn’t leave me alone. He wasn’t even doing anything, just minding his own business.”

“Dave came home while I was still seething about the fight, so he was who Went to when I wanted to complain. Dave had told me he was tired, but because I think I’m a perfect fucking princess, I kept bothering him.” Diego flinched at the self deprecating comment, always hating his brother beat himself down, but didn’t comment on it. There was a time and place. “I was trying to cuddle him, hug him, talk to him as a distraction.”

“He finally snapped at me, saying something like he had a headache and he really couldn’t handle my problems on top of his.” Klaus stopped to choke back tears and calm himself down. Diego too a glance at Dave to make sure he wasn’t dead while his brother collected himself. He was now swaying and if Diego wasn’t mistaken, humming.

“He—I took offense to that. Dave has spoiled me rotten and I had forgotten that he needs comfort too.” A dry laugh escaped his lips. “I—I snapped at him. I told him that my problems were small, that I was sorry but I didn’t know what else to do. He turned to me and said that I could go smoke some pot or get drunk because that always made me happy.”

“He what?!”

“You promised!” Klaus snapped. Diego stayed silent, willing to not go out and beat the shit out of the man on his couch. 

“Okay,” Diego huffed. “Okay, continue.”

“I asked him if he really thought me relapsing would help my situation—our situation. He told me that one hit won’t hurt, that I just needed to do something to give him some alone time.”

“I had witnessed him say this,” Diego heard Peter chime in.

“Right. At that point, I started sobbing. I screamed at him to get the fuck out or I was going to leave and make sure he never saw me. Peter had also told him that he needed to leave. Dave tried apologizing, explaining himself, but we weren’t having it.”

“Then he left?” Diego asked. 

“And you found him,” Klaus agreed. 

Diego was furious. He always trusted Dave to be able help and love his brother, but no. He goes and hits Klaus where it hurts.

“So what you are saying is that I should throw your dick of an ex-boyfriend out on the street?”

“He’s not my ex!” Klaus snapped. “Do not kick him out!” 

“He mocked your drug addiction, Klaus!” 

“He didn’t mean it!” Diego let out a deep sigh.

“Klaus, this isn’t something small like you fought over a parking spot, he mocked you!”

“I know what he did, Diego! But we were both stressed and I was the one pushing him. I knew that he didn’t mean it. You didn’t see his face as he was trying to apologize to me.”

“You’ve had a lot of boyfriends and girlfriends who have done shit things to you and apologized even if they didn’t mean it.”

“None of them ever broke down crying over it.” That made Diego pause. He didn’t even think of Dave crying in this situation. When he finds him, he didn't seem like he had a lot of tear marks on him, but with how often he was crying about it, he could see why Klaus thought so. Dave had been complaining that he was a bad boyfriend and Klaus should just leave him. He did get wasted as well.

“Even if he didn’t mean it,” Diego continued, ever the one to hold onto his pride, “he shouldn’t be able to get away with it.”

“He isn’t,” Klaus snapped. “If he was getting away with it, he would be balls deep in my ass right now.” Both Peter and Diego made a disgusted sound at the comment.

“TMI, bro,” Diego groaned. “But what do you want me to do?” Klaus was silent for a moment. He obviously didn’t think about what he would do. There was no way he would have guessed that Diego would have found Dave drunk off his ass at the bar.

“Can I talk to him?” he finally mumbled. Diego heard Peter saying no, telling Klaus it was a bad idea.

“I really don’t think you should,” Diego sighed. “He is really drunk and upset. I don’t want him influencing you in anyway.”

“I’m not breaking up with him, Diego. There is no decision he can influence right now.” Diego let out a groan of annoyance. 

“Klaus, think this through—”

“Can you just… please give Dave the phone?” Klaus pleaded. Diego let out a sigh of defeat. Klaus was just as stubborn as the rest of their family and if he wanted to talk to his drunk ass boyfriend, he was going to fight until he did.

“Fine,” Diego snapped. He walked out of the kitchen to find Dave laying down on the couch, seemingly done with looking around the unfamiliar scene. 

Diego walked over to the man, stomping his feet just loud enough that if Dave was started to drift off he would be startled awake.

“Dave,” he snapped. Dave jerked up with fear, looking around frantically before his eyes landed on Diego standing over him. He let a smile overtake his face as he slowly sat up.

“Diego, wha’ you want?” he slurred, still very drunk. Diego shoved the phone in front of Dave’s face.

“Someone wants to talk to you.” Dave blinked up at him in confusion before he slowly reached for the phone. Diego had to help him a bit to make sure that he didn’t drop it before he put it up to his phone with both hands.

“Hello?” he mumbled. Diego watched as Dave’s face lit up at the sound of his boyfriend’s voice over the phone. “Klaus! Klaus, are you okay?”

Diego couldn’t hear Klaus on the other side of the phone, but he knew that he was trying to reassure Dave. Even though they never knew what to do when someone actually cared for them, leading to fights like this one or different ones between he and Patch, they still tried their hardest to show that they cared as well. Klaus reassuring Dave when Dave was obviously in the wrong was just a form of them doing it.

Klaus seemed to have said something that really set Dave off, because he went from happy to hear his boyfriend’s voice to sobbing in less than three seconds.

“I’m—I’m sorry, Klaus!” he cried into the phone, holding it tight—still with both of his hands. “I, I shouldn’ have said those things to you. They were mean and, and you completely deserve to break, break up with me. I don’ deserve a man like you in my life if I’m jus’ gonna hurt you.” Listening to Dave stuttered and slur his feelings out almost made Diego feel better about his problem with stuttering when he got emotional or drunk, a side effect from his stutter as a kid.

Almost.

Dave stopped talking and went silent, minus a sniffle here and there, so he could listen to Klaus. Klaus seemed to have gone on for a while. Diego could only guess that he was explaining what had happened or what he was feeling in a very calm way so that Dave would understand and not freak out more. It makes sense to Diego. Leaving a drunk man who feels like the scum of the Earth in the dark on the issue that he caused would really mess a lot of things up.

“You-you’re not gonna break up with me?” Dave slurred. There was silence before he continued. “Why?”

Diego wishes he had the answer to that question.

“Can I come over?” Dave asked after a moment. That is where Diego decided he wanted to draw the line. There was no way he was letting this man near his brother anytime soon, not after what he had said. 

It seemed Klaus had the same idea, because Dave was sadly nodding in understanding, similar to the way he was when Diego found him at the bar all those hours ago.

“Are you done talking, Dave?” Diego pushed. Dave nodded his head and let out a sigh.

“I—I gotta go, Klaus. I will, um, I will talk to you later. Because I love you, and I hate that, that I did this. I don’t want to hurt you again, I only want to be the best, I was so mean—” 

Diego reached over and gently pulled the phone away from Dave before he started sobbing and ranting about how he was the worst boyfriend ever again. 

“Hey,” Diego spoke once the phone was back in his ear. “You doing better?”

“I will.” Klaus let out a sniff, most likely from crying while talking to Dave. “Thank you for letting him stay. I don’t want to see him right now, I’m just—I’m just not ready yet.”

“Okay. I can bring him over whenever,” Diego agreed. He still hated the fact that he was alone with the man that hurt his brother, but after Klaus hung up, he considered it a free for all.

“Diego,” Klaus snapped. Diego came back from his torture head space, remembering he was still on a call. “You have to promise that you won’t hurt Dave at all. If I find so much as a scratch on my boyfriend, I will march over there and make sure that you regret it.”

Rarely does Klaus ever threaten physical harm on his siblings, but obviously Dave means a lot to him. It’s not the same as Diego feels for their mom, but it is most likely as strong. Seeing how Diego would react when there would be a dent on their mom, he didn’t want to know what Klaus would do.

“Aright,” he growled. “ I won’t touch your boyfriend when you hang up the phone.”

“Thank you.” There was silence before he continued. “Well, I uh, need to sleep. It’s been a long day and the ghosts are getting increasingly louder, so uh… I will talk to you later.”

“Good night, Klaus.” With that, Diego hung up. With a sigh, he looked over at Dave, who was now passed out on his couch from both alcohol and emotional roller coasters.

Hopefully it was a quiet night.

(It was not)