#the spacing probably turned out weird between paragraphs idk but it just wasn’t working so I had to go with it 😂

[nicknellie]

By the time I finish/send this it’s going to be at the most random time so I say good night and technically good morning for whenever you read this!

I’m glad that you were able to finish your schoolwork, if it’s any consolation you still did hand them in, which is amazing! Also shame on them, they should’ve explained how all of this was going to work.

Same here! It’s so fun replying to these

Let’s do this

(Also if I were to make a tally of how many times I used exactly and agreed I would be in the hundreds by now 😂)

1. You are so brilliant, yes. Reggie just uses random stuff to hold his things especially considering that he has like 1000 scrapbooks so all the other stuff needs to go somewhere. (He also has used Luke’s and Bobby’s)

2. I didn’t think that Reggie actually has pictures of random baby, oh my goodness that is hilarious.

3. Exactly, and the reason why he doesn’t recognize the French dip is because he has no clue where it came from but it does belong to him

The non-box stuff

First two very random comments that totally did not come from me accidentally hitting some board games and seeing jam which led to inspiration for this

First point, Sunset Curve and then later Julie and the phantoms most definitely had board games. In this scenario I’m going to use Spin Master Hedbanz because, I have no clue when this game came out so I’m just gonna say it’s a game that the Molina’s play.

(Hedbanz is the fast-paced, easy to play question game of “What am I?” Ask “yes” or “no” questions, I think Amazon can be thanked for that description)

Anyways, so they play this and after not guess Luke flips a table. that’s this entire point that Luke is the one during game nights to flip tables (never play Monopoly with him)

The second point, the jams. First Reggie hates strawberry jam, loves raspberry jam and is indifferent to marmalade (I mention the last one although it’s not really a jam) however Alex loves marmalade and grape. Luke has no taste, but sometimes likes jelly, and Bobby like marmalade as well (honestly idk)

Now numbers,

2. Wait yes, I don’t know how else to describe it aside from that. (All of them feel guilty, and massive group hug and movie night after)

3. Luke as a frustrated puppy is his facial expression when Reggie accidentally scares Victoria and Luke sits down on the couch. Also yes, that is exactly the conversation they have (Yes Willie can also get through to him). Also it does work when Juli tries it however maybe not as much as when Alex and Willie talk to him.

4. Yes, basically Luke and Alex are two halves of a whole and can read each other very well.

5. Oh yea, Alex is always very sarcastic with the boys and is a tiny bit hesitant in front of Julie however after that interaction he acts more like how he normally is.

6. Yes and there’s no in-between (although it could be that he stayed there for a few days and hasn’t been back since). Aww, that’s so sad and exact what happens, however he doesn’t have someone who gives him a flower, unlike Julie, so he just sits there crying.

8. Yes! I like that theory as well, also for some reason Luke was always very good at solving Rubiks cubes however Bobby never was.

10. So I randomly saw this meme one day and you mentioning the spinning tea cups reminds me of it (I have no clue who made this sadly)

(Just change Luke to be sitting with Julie then) Also yes Luke doesn’t like things that spin, honestly I love the fact that I went off on a board game tangent and you went off on a theme park tangent.

Yes, every single ride Alex goes on, also yes for bobby. I love the little addition you made that they save it for the end of the day, adding on there’s like one ride that Bobby won’t go on (maybe the tea cups) and he always rides the logflume ride during that time)

Oh yes, anytime they go to a waterpark or go on a roller coaster or basically anything Reggie will take a picture of it, (also there’s quite a few of the boys going on roller coasters that Reggie doesn’t want to ride)

Luke goes on a ghost train once and regrets everything, he spends the entire ride with his head buried in Alex‘s hoodie. Yes, also Bobby has to make sure that Alex doesn’t accidentally bump in to random strangers.

Toffee nut- for a second I thought you said that Reggie didn’t know one of his friends was allergic to gluten and I was like this fits Bobby so much but I misread that severely. But that’s exactly what happens, also Julie brings it up once, just in general, and that’s where Alex has to be like ‘Reggie we are already dead’

11. The game to see if Reggie is lying or not, love that. (Honestly I wanted him to have actually met Queen Elizabeth very randomly however your theory fits so well)

13. Yes, they all just randomly dance around the studio. I mean the band in full cowboy outfit should be very high up on your list of things to expect for season two.

14. That’s exactly why I said that, because Nick shouldn’t be able to see the boys however since he’s actually Caleb during that moment he can. So he has to pretend like he isn’t furious, he kind of fails but somehow is able to pass it off.

They can’t deny good music, love this line and yes they most definitely can’t.

15. I’m glad that you like the little Han-solo idea

16. Yes, yes, we all know that Alex still lets them in the kitchen because he can’t say no to the puppy dog eyes however during that moment he tries his best to keep them out

17. Alex was most definitely the cutest baby also that is precisely what the photo looks like. (As you mentioned earlier I believe whenever Reggie was upset at Luke he would give Julie baby pictures of Luke. So of course Reggie does the same to Alex and shows Willie pictures of him as a baby. And Willie has heart eyes for the rest of the day from that photo

19. They definitely jump in puddles also the amount of times Luke has done that to Alex for no reason at all is a lot (also this is adorable)

20. Yes, I think everyone fell in love with Alex after the first episode as they should. ‘I have been crying for 25 years. How is that possible?!?!’

Yes Reggie and Willie definitely only talk in puns to each other and Alex is not happy (lies but for now they will let Alex be)

Also this makes me think that if flynn had known that Luke existed when she was going to egg Julie’s house, he definitely would’ve helped. Also yes, Emily buys those eggs right then and there, alongside toilet paper because.

21. That’s exactly what I thought but now seeing it in writing makes me upset. Him having a key symbolizes that he now found his home, and when Luke ran away Alex was so torn because obviously he supported his best friend more than anything however at the same time he just didn’t know what to do. (I don’t think I’ve seen this list but I am very intrigued, should we petition the show to let you write Mitch‘s character for season two) Yes, Alex and Luke are such brothers and we can blame Mitch.

24. The first time I saw the song I just thought that she sang in it as background vocals or something and then I was massively disappointed. Wait wait, what if in season two we get a song from Flynn that basically answers flying solo and shows how much Julie means to Flynn. I am in the same exact boat flynn is in a music program so at the very least we have to see her doing something they can’t just waste that talent like that. So I know this YouTube creator by one video and one video alone which is I’m going to kill Santa Claus, but yes I added it to my watch later (also you did get the title right, caps and everything)

25. Yes, he wanted to be strong for her which is why he initially went. (Third chance at getting a family 🥺🥺 awww)

Yes they exactly would’ve been uncle Reggie, uncle Luke, and uncle Alex, she definitely would’ve been nicer just due to the fact that the boys never would’ve let her get away with it.

26. I mean even when the boys forgive him, he still doesn’t forgive himself. Also yes, and the first thing he does is remake the hat for Alex because for some reason Alex hasn’t been able to find the hat (and or one for Willie because he wears beanies as well) Just imagine happy Bobby reunited with his bandmates (family) though aww.

28. Yes, also Reggie is like a cat when it comes to yarn so after he initially got tangled of course he got himself even more tangled until he just became a ball of yarn. (I love that title, also there is two parts because Reggie made a similar one again due to the fact that this happened twice)

30. Yes, Willie does have an old soul and him and Alex connect very well with Vitoria

32. Yes, best fan base ever. Legitimately they will get stopped on the street and if someone finds out that their sunset Curve they immediately get some sort of fanart or sticker (also a hug because Luke will give free hugs to everyone)

Yes, honestly I was thinking that Alex could be a cat as well however you’re entirely correct it’s Bobby who is the cat. I’m a bit stumped on what Alex would be, hear me out he would be a hedgehog just because that would be absolutely adorable. (Also I love the owl idea that’s brilliant)

Wait, not only does Alex get that but a fan handmade a puzzle of the band and it’s one of Alex‘s most treasured items from a fan.

34. The boys laugh for so long but the eventually help him out of the fridge, not before Reggie takes a picture though

35. Wait yes, Ray helps them out with the photoshoot. At first he thought that Flynn was asking him to take the pictures and he was completely prepared but then he quickly realizes that she kind of just wanted him to be there too not only help out but because he’s the greatest.

37. They take all of his hoodie expect the pink one, however they do wear it just give it back.

39. He says it immediately, honestly doesn’t even register that he says it until about five minutes later

40. It’s actually a mixture of both, also because Alex wears Luke’s shirts while they are practicing. Even if the practice doesn’t turn out the best they always have a great time just because they love spending time with each other and that makes everything better.

So you mentioning Willie wanting to learn lifts and stuff, and it made me think of the fact that Kenny Ortega has done dirty dancing which means they should have a scene like this

https://youtube/DIKpUa0O7Ns (if the link doesn’t load basically its the dirty dancing - time of my life final dance)

So now I need this in season two. (Also Willie is the one who is being lifted)

Also I agree this may take the cake for my favorite (also because I now have the dance I want Willie and Alex to do in season two)

Now I may have Time of my life stuck in my head ‘and I owe it all to you’ (actual a song lyric and technically I only have myself to blame)

I’ve been trying to answer this all day but kept getting interrupted by things including but not limited to my schoolwork and the fact that my kitten escaped the bathroom while my mum was trying to wash her which caused s t r e s s but I’ve finally got round to it so here we go!

Before I start, thanks! I actually managed to get most of my work in on time today which I’m really proud of (all of it was in on time if we ignore maths, but that’s my worst subject and I don’t think my teacher is excepting much from me anyway 😂😭)

And oh god I kind of am tempted to make tallies of how often we say that now lmaooo I’d add for me any variation of “ahdslflkdp” or “omg lmaooo yes”

Anyway! Let’s start!

BOX STUFF

1. Thank you!!!!! Exactly but somehow I can imagine he still manages to be messy. Like all his stuff is packed away neatly, but the boxes they’re packed away in are just everywhere and it’s a nightmare for Alex who likes to be clean and tidy. (Luke doesn’t care whether things are messy or tidy, and Bobby is messy but not as cluttered as Reggie I think) And yes!! He uses Luke’s and Bobby’s too, as well as a drum Alex accidentally broke and is now kind of like a box if that makes any sense lol

2. Ikr lmaooo he just puts them in there like “well we needed something” and when Bobby continues to say it doesn’t count because it’s not him he just claims the baby is an honorary member of the band

3. Yes! Maybe he found it one day, thought to himself that he’d read it and try it out later but then completely forgot about it and the box

BOARD GAME AND JAM STUFF

1. I am so in love with this idea oh my godddd, yes, your mind!!!! They have these extravagant board game nights that last hours and hours (while they’re all wearing their matching pyjamas or onesies of course). I love games like Hedbanz omg and I can totally imagine them playing this and also games like Cluedo, Pictionary, Articulate (great game btw if you’ve never played, highly recommend), and any game Julie finds like at a charity shop (because I can totally see her and Flynn going to charity shops and finding a bunch of cool stuff??) Whoever is in a team with Julie is pretty much guaranteed to win (unless it’s Luke, but Alex or Reggie with Julie are pretty much unstoppable) and in the old days Reggie was the master of all games. You’re so right about Luke getting angry lmao monopoly was banned after the first fifteen minutes of the first time they ever played it

2. I love how random that whole thing is but also that you’re 100% right. Also the fact that This Band Is Back is also called Reggie’s Jam has led to some interesting different versions of that song over the years

NUMBER STUFF

2. This kind of links in but not really - once they’re with Julie they have movie nights too and Flynn and Willie often join in. Julie and Flynn have a couple’s jumper and Reggie and Luke are jealous of how comfy they look all snuggled up together so because Luke is wearing one of Alex’s hoodies they both get into that. The only problem is Alex’s hoodie only has one head-hole so they end up stretching it and Alex isn’t happy. Him and Willie just watch the whole time, Alex not finding any of it amusing, Willie laughing his head off

3. Yes that was the exact image I had in my head!!! And it only works when Julie does it because it’s Julie and Luke isn’t really convinced but he’ll agree with her because it makes her happy and that’s all he really wants

4. Ok that made me think of Merlin if you’ve ever watched that show??? If you haven’t then you should, it’s on Netflix and one of my all time favourites. Anyway the phrase two halves of a whole is really similar to two sides of the same coin which is used all the time in Merlin and now I kinda wanna write a Merlin AU where Luke is Arthur, Alex is Merlin, Reggie is Gwaine, Julie is Gwen, Carrie is Morgana, Caleb is Uther, etc.

5. Yeah 🥺 I kinda just want more of Alex relaxing around Julie next season y’know? Like they’re obviously super close but he doesn’t always act around her the same as he does with the guys. I want to see them get closer, have nights where it’s just the two of them, maybe Alex officially coming out to her (though I like to think he already did that and it just wasn’t shown to us)

6. Omg ok that hurt. Wow. Because the boys don’t cross over or go to wherever Rose went after they died, they just stayed in the dark room for an hour, they can’t watch over Bobby and see how he’s doing and they can’t send him any signs like Rose did for Julie. If they had been able to do that then things would have been so much different!

8. What if Bobby started trying like everything the boys liked when they were alive? Like after he realises he can’t make jewellery or write poetry anymore he tries the Rubik’s Cube but can’t do it. So he tries puzzles but just can’t find them as interesting as Alex did. And he tries crosswords and sudokus but can’t wrap his head around them like Reggie. Eventually all his interests kind of drop away and he’s left with even less than he already had.

10. Absjdldl yes lmao that’s perfect! Honestly I love that for us, little random tangents here and there is perfect 😂

Yessss I love that lol like when he meets up with the guys again he’s soaking wet and grinning like an idiot lmao

Reggie has scrapbooks dedicated to their theme park trips and it’s kind of messy and most of the photos are blurry but he loves them as they’re some of his best memories

Also the image of Alex getting so lost in his happiness watching everyone having fun that Bobby just has to pull him out of the way of people is glorious and I love it

Also I had another random thought literally just now. This is kinda based on something that happened when I was 12 I think? So Sunset Curve goes to a theme park and they’ve just finished lunch and Alex wants to go back on rides immediately so they decide to go on something small and not scary so they won’t like vomit their food everywhere. Reggie goes with it because they won’t be going on a big ride. They go on one of the smallest rides there, literally it’s this platform that moves side to side I can’t really explain it better than that. And it is the most terrifying ride any of them have been on in their entire lives even though it looks fine and Reggie refuses to go on anything else for the rest of the day just in case he’s tricked by its tame appearance again.

Toffee nut - omg yeah no I love that! Bobby is definitely allergic to gluten. Alex loves baking special gluten-free stuff just for him and the others are banned from eating it (but y’know they ignore that and do anyway)

11. Tbh now you’ve said that I want it too and I’ve changed my mind, there’s a high chance he did meet her. Somehow. Even he’s not really sure what happened but yeah he did 😂

13. Honestly just any kind of fancy dress? Like cowboys is up there but I’d love to see Fairy Princess Luke ngl

14. I love the image of Nick very poorly containing his anger and ending up accidentally saying something like “they wouldn’t know sophistication if it snuck up and slapped them” and then having to explain what the hell that meant to Julie

16. No one can resist Reggie and Luke’s puppy dog eyes 😂 I love the idea that he shoos them away but they look at him through the door. So he shuts the door, leaving them outside, but they move to the window. He pulls the curtain down over the window but they come in through the front door and stand in the kitchen again and either he has to relent and let them stay or offload them to Bobby or Julie depending on when this is

17. Afjkgjl yes and Alex looks as if he’s embarrassed by it but really he’s isn’t, he’s actually angry because he wanted to be the one to show Willie his baby photos and Reggie stole that from him damnit!

19. This is kind of unrelated but it’s on the subject of water so kinda close - water fights. Absolutely. Especially in summer. Alex is the best at them. Luke sucks (it’s kind of becoming a theme that Luke is awful at anything competitive and I love that lmao)

20. LITERALLY. He said that and a bunch of other things (there’s too many to list lol) and I was immediately like “ok yeah he’s gonna be my favourite isn’t he” and I was right

Absjdidko yeah he hates the puns but love that they’ve found something to bond over, he’ll just never admit it. Whenever they’re doing it he just shakes his head disappointedly, trying to hide a smile

Lmao yeah Luke is well-practised at egging houses and for at least an hour he would have been thinking “I want to but it’s Julie” unable to decide and eventually he would have done it for the fun

Emily Patterson honestly would’ve won Mother of the Year imo (except the arguing with Luke, but that’s one flaw and otherwise she was great)

21. Omg yeah totally, he would have definitely struggled between supporting Luke by not going and supporting himself by going. Either he would have not gone, or gone secretly and updated Emily and Mitch to tell them Luke was safe.

YES DEFINITELY PLEASE AND THANK YOU. Honestly I love Mitch and there’s so much I want to see from him (especially a conversation with Ray) and I would love to write his character @ Kenny Ortega please hire me :)

Also here’s the list of you want to look through it whenever lol

24. I love this yesss we deserve to see Flynn’s response to Flying Solo! Honestly my prediction for her is that she kind of starts feeling left out of everything because she can’t see the boys (even though Julie and the guys obviously don’t mean to leave her out and they’re devastated when she tells them that’s what’s going on) which A) could be how she starts to reconnect with Carrie and B) could be the reason she sings a song for Julie. And YES Jadah Marie is so talented therefore Flynn is and that can’t be wasted!

Lmaooo I’m Going to Kill Santa Claus is one of the only videos I’ve not seen of his but I love all his other stuff. And I’m legit proud of myself for remembering that title 😂😂

25. Exactly! Like Trevor I think would be a semi-lenient parent and whenever Carrie acts up it would have been Alex who was the first to tell her off and tell her what she should have done. He would never shout, but he also wouldn’t sugarcoat it and would be honest. Reggie and Luke would have been gentler on her but Bobby would have just been terrible at discipline lol

26. Yes omg 🥺 the little gestures like making more hats are the things that get the boys to finally forgive him. And I know for a fact that Willie wearing a beanie is all I’m going to be thinking about forever now, holy moly

28. Ajsbdkspskke yes!! Eventually it turns into a whole series of songs that end with “Bobby I Swear I Will Hide All Your Knitting Needles If You Don’t Start Cleaning Up Your Yarn, This Is Your Final Warning”

32. I love that! The band is very sociable so they run into fans a lot and fans just start bringing their fanart and stickers wherever they go because you never know when you might run into Sunset Curve

Omg I can totally see hedgehog Alex that’s literally perfect I love it! Because he’s kind of shy and nervous but also prickly (like come on, his sarcasm and the way he just deadpans half his lines is brilliant)

Yessss it’s this really detailed painting made into a puzzle of all of them and Alex puts off making it for ages because he doesn’t want to damage it or anything 🥺

34. Lmao yeah Reggie has to take a load of photos because he’s using his Polaroid and he’s laughing so much that the camera shakes and the photo comes out blurry every time

35. Yes she wants him there because Ray is obviously the Best Dad Ever (I am definitely in agreement with Reggie on this one). Also it helps because then it doesn’t look like Flynn is by herself taking all these photos because the guys can’t be seen 😂

37. Yes lol the one rule is that if you take the pink one you MUST give it back. Willie is the only one who can occasionally get away with breaking that rule, in which case Alex just takes it back himself

39. Absjdldl yes especially because Carrie doesn’t comment on it (because she’s not really listening to him, just speaking her thoughts aloud, because I feel like she does that a lot? Talks to herself because it’s easier to understand her thoughts when she says them?)

40. Omg yes and that’s even better because Alex had done it with Luke and Reggie so he knows how! I mean, it doesn’t go well at all, but they have fun!

God me too now I’ve got it stuck in my head 😂 tbh I had Devil Went Down To Georgia and also Ring Of Fire stuck in my head for ages after we mentioned those so it only makes sense lol

[arigathanksgozaimuch]

escape | 01.

genre: slice of life, fluff, suggestive? idk.  character/s: student to neurosurgeon!seungcheol x student to criminal defense attorney!reader. overview: you can’t keep a secret forever. word count: 1465. warning: overly strict parents. weird people. talks of crime. seungcheol in a lab coat, ‘nuff said.

If anyone asked how you met, you and Seungcheol would first exchange knowing glances. At first, it might make the curious friend or a newly-introduced colleague feel as if they were invading the couple's privacy by asking. And like it was rehearsed, the male would scoot over forward until his tailbone hits the edge of his seat, and you would nudge him, urging him to speak first. You met in the library during their university days because, you know, that's where people like you usually meet. Unlike other students who only visit the library during midterms or finals, both of you were among the few who go to the library almost everyday to study -- with or without exams.

Seungcheol, anxious to finish a paper that was due in a week, didn't want to go back to the dorms and get dragged into playing video games with his roommate. So when the librarian made the final rounds before closing, he did his best to disappear in between the biggest shelves. He only allowed himself to breathe once the lights were switched off, one by one, until he was swallowed by total darkness. Opening his laptop once more and returning to the paragraph he left half-finished, he carefully tiptoed to one of the desks, only to find someone already there.

You, on the other hand, had to finish your fourth reading of the book. You had two chapters left when the librarian began asking students to pack up their things and leave. Knowing you'd only lose momentum if you stopped reading now, you went under the computer table and hugged your backpack close to your chest. Just one more hour, you screamed mentally. One more hour and I'd leave.

And then when the sound of the librarian's heels against the tiled floor began to grow faint until it disappeared completely, you deemed it safe to go out of her hiding place. You hurried back to your previous seat and delved right back to the page where you left off. Your nerves must have been on edge the entire time, because you almost let out an ear-piercing shriek the moment a hand landed on your shoulder. Seungcheol, as it turned out, only wanted someone to share his guilt with. But the guilt extended to more nights, until it wasn't limited to just the library or simply studying anymore.

"And the rest, as they say," Seungcheol grins, leaning back against his seat with a quick glance towards you, as if proud of himself for accurately relaying the story. "...is history."

Or, at least, that's the story you tell everyone.

Seungcheol was convinced it was fraud -- the way you both rewrote history and tweaked it into something you deemed to be more appropriate, something that would meet people's expectations.

"Okay, so it's more than just a little white lie," you sigh, slamming your textbook down on one of the round tables in the middle of the cafeteria to declare your temporary possession of the space. "Then tell your grandmother the truth."

The man sinks down on one of the chairs and pulls his arms out of the straps of his backpack. "I can't, she'd be horrified."

"Oh, my sweet sweet boy Cheollie," you exclaim in fake enthusiasm, clasping your hands under your chin while batting your eyelashes at him. "Now you understand why nobody but us can ever know the truth. If your grandmother would be horrified, my parents would send me to rehab or something."

Seungcheol eyes the plate of cheesy nachos in front of him and reaches out to help himself to a piece. “That would probably be better, to be honest. You know they won’t send you to just any rehab center. If anything, I’m more scared of your parents suing me for… kidnapping.”

“First of all, stop hogging my food. You said you weren’t hungry.” You frown, slapping his hand away before grabbing a piece yourself. “Second, kidnapping is only for minors. Do I look like I’m below 18?”

Defeated, the man unzips his bag and reaches for one of his notebooks. “Hey, hey, I don’t care about any of those legal stuff you’ve got going on.” He waves his hand in front of his face dismissively, making you laugh. “Technicalities.”

You let his remark slide, letting him focus on studying. After eating, you, too, pull an envelope out of your bag and thumb through several pages of stapled papers before beginning to pore through one. Together, you slip into a relaxed, quiet study session, save for when someone has to ask something, or when any of your friends drop by to say hi.

Because who said being in a relationship was distracting? You were – to your friends and classmates, to his grandmother and brother, and to your parents – a power couple.

In his old high school sweater and faded jeans, Seungcheol looks like any other college freshman, except he was towards the end of his third year of medical school. And as early as now, he’s more than prepared for the licensing exam he’d be taking in two years’ time. On the day you were supposed to introduce him to your parents over lunch, there was a small voice inside your head telling you that your parents might overlook all of Seungcheol’s good qualities and focus on what he lacks, even if you were absolutely sure no one could ever be as perfect for you as he is. The doubt in your mind was dispelled completely when lunch was over and it looked as if your boyfriend has completely won your parents over. You were sure that if you only had listened very, very closely, you would’ve heard the wedding bells ringing in your mother’s imagination.  Determined and hardworking, Seungcheol was everything you could ever ask for. His only fault, you think, was that he was a bad liar. And though it generally is a good thing, you needed him to be a little bit more good at lying, especially when the both of you were hiding a secret you would prefer to take with you to the grave.

Occasionally, he would reach out to rub his thumb over the back of your palm, one of the few displays of affection the both of you could afford when outside. “You okay?” he asks softly, looking up from his notes. Seungcheol rolls his shoulders back before tilting his head from left to right, wincing as his joints crack.

“Mhm.” You pause, finishing up on highlighting a sentence before looking up. “You?”

“Dead bored. D’you wanna go somewhere when you finish?”

“Please.” You put the cap back on your highlighters and quickly stuff them, together with your readings, into your bag.

Seungcheol chortles when you’ve stood up from your seat faster than he could fix his things. “You’re that excited to leave?”

“I only studied because you did, too.”

“Well, you—” “Cheol!” Your boyfriend was about to fight back, but was interrupted by something – or someone. You didn’t have to look behind you to confirm your suspicions. But as usual, unlike lightning and thunder, you could always hear Boo Seungkwan first before seeing him.

“Oh, [Y/N]!” The younger slowed as he came in between you and Seungcheol until he came to a halt. He wriggles one of his arms out of the straps of his backpack until his bag was dangling in front of him. “I’m sorry, did you have to go somewhere?”

Your eyes shifted from Seungkwan to his busy hands, which fumbled as he produced papers, a pencil, and a calculator from his backpack, until they meet Seungcheol’s. “Uh, no, not really.”

“Great!” And then he turns to Seungcheol, his senior by three years. “I really needed help with lab work, and I didn’t know who else to approach.”

Feeling bad for the boy, you slide back into your previous seat and watch your boyfriend hide the disappointment in his face. To comfort him, however, you sit by his side and keep him company as he tutors Seungkwan,

“I’m really sorry you had to stay behind, [Y/N],” he says afterwards while he packs up. “I took a chunk out of your study time.”

You fight the urge to snort. “Study time?”

“Yeah.” Seungkwan stands up. “Isn’t that all you guys do in your free time? I’m pretty sure your dates are just full of studying or quizzing each other or whatever.”

Seungcheol opens his mouth, as if to say something, but your look convinced him to do otherwise. Pursing his lips, he flashed Seungkwan a tight-lipped smile as the younger walked away. Once he was completely out of sight, you raise an eyebrow at your clearly annoyed boyfriend.

“Now, do you see why we have to hide the truth?”

[rezilient-m3]

Weird how I can't see dates on here. Like, I remember when my last post happened, but I don't remember the date. 🤔

Anywhoo, it is October 3rd. Lol. (Future reference). Things are a bit better. (I hope.) School started. All kids are attending and love it! I'm loving the free time. (Didn't find a job lol). Can't really right now. Didn't realize my youngest only goes 2, sometimes 3, days a week. Plus, youth care workers are in demand for after school hours. Can't seem to commit to a job with those kinds of hours just yet. Not when we re all still adjusting.

I've been keeping myself busy. I've made a chore/allowance chart. Worked great for the first 2 weeks lol. Now, kids just do what I ask (most of the time). Should start that up this week. Geez. Then, I made their own separate "spaces" for rooms. T is in the playroom. Alex will put up a wall, once he's done this job. Yes. He's away again. Soon tho. And S & K split the room they were all crammed in. And I've got to say, everything turned out lookong great. I have a bit of a knack for "interior designing" lol. If I do say so myself. 😏 But seriously, I've always loved to redo living spaces, and improving things. I love our home. Girl's appreciated it. Not so much during tho. Specifically T, that big jerk. She thought S's dresser was nicer than hers. (I had gotten them all their own dressers for their rooms.) So, this resulted in an argument, and her leaving just feeling disrespected and unappreciated. I was hurt that day. I wanted to cry- I did cry. Anyways, she asked to switch, I said no, she got upset. She flat out told me she wouldn't do her chore and she didn't need or want her allowance anyways. Then, proceeded to just not listen to what was being asked of her. I gave up and left her alone. But, despite this incident, we seem to be having few of them. Which, makes me grateful that things are changing and improving a bit. But, she still has her moments of bickering and picking unnecessary fights with her siblings.

I've also start counseling. So, far I'm the only one that has been, only twice tho. She's a busy woman. So, new appts with her are well into 3 week mark. We have a family session coming up on the 7th, a couple session on the 8th, individual ones for T & K on the 13th and 18th. Haven't booked for my son and middle daughter, S, just yet. I'm still trying to figure out which way would be best to go about it. Like, I know T & K need it the most. I might decide on all 3 of us will be weekly for awhile, then S & D will be bi-weekly? Idk. So confusing.

The sessions have been good so far. Initial one was just to get to know me. I told her all that I could about myself, my family, Alex, kids, James, the drinking, the sobriety, school. Everything I could in an hour and a half lol. Today was my 2nd one. We ended up talking about Alex and I. I went from the beginning. How I thought we were good, until I found out we weren't. The abuse in the beginning. The drinking. The fighting. The separation. And us getting back together. Then, our most recent issues. Which, I've just realized, I didn't write about that yet. Hmm. Hold on...

My bday. Sept 10. He came home from a job for days off. We have cake and whatever with my twin, my kids, my niece/sister and her brother, and Alex. I tell him I'm going out to give my brother a bday shot. I borrow his car. We go. Now, I didn't expect to take as long as we did, but bottom line, it was 2 hrs! It was my bday! Did that matter? No. I still got in shit. He was upset cuz he came home and felt like a "babysitter". Maybe felt a little disrespected, but that wasn't my intention. I just wanted to spin vlts a little lol. But turned out, I was an ungrateful cunt. Just wow. The things he says when he's upset with me. Just knows how to hurt me. Anywhoo, this point in time, the plan was to look for an used suv for me and the kids while on his days off. He was going to use his line of credit to help me get one, and my dad put 5k into my acct to help. (Blessed.) But this night, when I was so ungrateful, he told me I could go fuck myself and look for my own vehicle for 5k. K den. I went and sleep with our son, after crying on the couch for awhile. Next day, what happens? "Are we going to go look at suvs?" I tell him, "don't bother." I was just being salty cuz I never EVER can get a sincere apology about anything. Everything is just supposed to magically disappear and we move on. NO. I didn't appreciate that. But what could I do? I needed a vehicle, for real. My old one had to be parked because it was/is having major problems lol. So, we go. He pulls out money. We get the 1st one we looked at. I'm happy. And we just go back to normal. So dumb lol. UNTIL, a week later. I'm at bingo with my niece J. We get her male friend to babysit, cuz Alex went back to work and she decided to stay and visit me. Anywhoo, while playing I told Alex that he probably couldn't call our son to say g'night cuz the babysitter didn't have fb. All he said was "well, guess I'll just go to bed then." I say, "okay." Then few moments later, "I hate lies. Enjoy your date." Like, tf? Jisg out of nowhere. So, i wrote a paragraph about how the hell do I get accused when I'm not doing anyrhing to support his ridiculous accusations. All I do is a be a mum, take care of everything else and go to bingo. Seriously? And just accused him of projecting and blocked him. I was shook. Mostly mad and offended. I didn't speak to him that whole next day. He could have easily texted me, but didn't lol. Not until I had to explain my fb post. Cuz it was my sister and her husband's anniversary, so I was going to bbq for them. He thought I was throwing a "party". Whatever. But then, he texted asking whe am I going to talk to him again, and how I shouldn't be thinking he's doing anything cuz he tells me what he's doing every second of everyday. Like, sorry if I didn't, but doesn't mean I'm out here being shady. How the hell would I even be able to with 4 young kids at home? Grow up. Ugh, I was just upset. But, he's always been good at saying the right things. "He doesn't want to ever lose me. He loves me. He goes crazy and can't function when things aren't right between us...." Then, stop saying stupid shit to push me away or make me wonder if you're even in this relationship 100%. Geez.

Me telling all of this to my counselor, made her say right now there's no way we can be a family unit with him having all this power and me feeling insecure with our living situation and the fear of him taking it all away. Like, when he says shit like "find your own place to stay". It's abusive. So, that's how my session, on the 8th, turned into a couple session lol. I'm nervous about it. The only way I knew how to talk to him about anything serious, was through letters or messaging. (Probably a confrontation thing. Or conflict thing. Makes me super uncomfortable.) But we need to learn eventually. Cuz I want this. I want us, forever. I hope he does too. It's going to take work. Scary work. Lol. Pray for me.

He comes home soon. Since that last fight, we've seemed to be okay. (We always "seem" to be until it doesn't tho lol). But I love him. He's my luv. I'm trying. 🤷‍♀️

But I'm tired. It's late. All I've got for now. Good night. Until next time. ✌&❤