#the tolerance level is so high i can literally f*ck around and it looks not making me vomit

[kaiserouo]

uhhhhhhh

[smokeybrandcompositions]

Youth Culture

I’m 33. My brother is 26. Our father was a drug addict and our mother was in a decade long depression spiral. I essentially raised him. Still am, technically. My brother dates a 19 year old. She friended me on Facebook. That was a mistake. She posts so much, man. So much… And she thinks it’s so profound but she’s only 19. She doesn’t know a goddamn thing about life. Like, she’s depressed and suicidal and has social anxiety and whatever else there’s a pill for that the generation after mine takes to avoid problems or personal responsibility. Somehow, that makes her believe she’s far more progressive, more advanced, than her peers. This chick posts her entire life on Facebook. Every little thing that pops in her head, online. Memes, short stories, weird little nonsense arguments, arm chair activism, #Woke bullsh*t; all of those shenanigans children yell because they want to be heard and it’s all goddamn annoying. As a 30 year old watching this happen, watching her try and assert her immaturity as adulthood, I realize that we, as 19 year old, shouldn’t have a say in anything. The things she says are just regurgitated SJW narrative There’s no soul, no truth behind them Like, she posts sh*t specifically to troll Randoms or seeking validation. Her lack of self is both startling and sad to me. Mostly, it’s just frustrating because my brother is mad infatuated with this trainwreck.  

She once tried to convince me that my brother drugged her so she would stay up for sex, only to have him finish and fall asleep, leaving her alone and overstimulated. She had work that day. Apparently the plan was to go a full 24 hours on no sleep while working a 10pm to 2am shift at a busy bar/restaurant. She didn’t go to work that night. Or ever again. Because of the other things on this list.

When I first met her, I thought she was far more progressive than she is. Living with her for a few months, I believe she is a testament to her peer group, but she’s still a goddamn moron. Kid’s thrown literal tantrums about something someone said to her. She fought with my brother over breadsticks, eventually punching a whole in my wall over breadsticks. She lies constantly about circumstances to garner sympathy by perpetuating a personal victim narrative. She is willingly petty. She is knowingly reckless. She uses her mental illness as a pass for her sh*tty behavior. Nothing is ever her fault and she ducks personal responsibility like it’s the f*cking plague. Everything is always someone else’s fault or in the works or whatever but when I leave for work, she sleep on my floor and when I come home, she sleep on my floor. Chick defines herself through the relationships she has with men and then turns violent when they don’t reciprocate that dependency. And when I say violent, she threatens to kill herself in an effort to hurt said dick-of-the-moment. Or punches a hole in my wall. When I first met her, she seemed like an old soul, someone worth investing in. My engaging with you on an intellectual level is the highest compliment I can grant because no one except my wife is worth my time. If you earn an opportunity where I actually stop what i’m doing, actively listen to what you have to say, and engage in a proper conversation with you, congratulations. You’ve achieved a real feat. After three months of living with this chick, I realize she is a f*cking toddler pretending at being an adult. And pretending poorly. So poorly, in fact, I feel like I wasted my time even trying to know her.

She told me my brother demanded she kill herself and left poison on his dresser for her to do it.  She then commenced to spazz out for an hour until my brother came back to console her After I spazzed out on him for an hour because I’m not in the business of babysitting children throwing tantrums.

She and I use to have a relationship. I thought it was cordial and decent. We spoke at length about things I thought you speak about when you’re getting to know someone. I told her stuff I tell everyone. She apparently told me stuff that she never told anyone. At first, I would push her into divulging more because learned that talking helps. After a while, I stopped that because I didn’t care anymore. Now, I don’t even look at her as she talks at me. I understood she has no interest in getting better or growing as an adult. She just wants you to agree with her and carry on, even if the thing she wants you to okey0-doke is patently destructive. Like, she wants to be wanted, at all times, but all people, and can’t function when someone tells her no or to back off. My youngest brother, her boyfriend’s twin, can’t stand her. He calls her Yoko because she broke up the band. A friend of his use to come out from the bay, stay with us to work, and then go back. This chick moves in and he stays with someone else, about an hour away. A kid my brother has known since he was 12 use to crash at our spot after work before going to his second job. She apparently cussed dude out into tears. Haven’t seen him since. Her presence has essentially alienated my brother from all of his friends, from his family, from everyone. If they didn’t live in my house, I wouldn’t be around them either, not after her weekend meltdown where she told he she was going to kill herself specifically to hurt him. Like, I love Crystal. I love my chick. The thought of me doing anything to bring her pain is debilitating. This chick claims to love my brother in the same way. How can you even think of some sh*t like that? Why would that even be a situation worth considering, killing yourself to hurt the person you love? Suffice it to say, she grates on me now. Whenever she speaks to me, that’s all I hear and it disgusts me. She disgusts me.

When he came back to work through these issues, she wouldn’t talk to him, pretended to swallow all of her anti-depressants and ran off toward a bridge so she could jump off and die. When she looked back an realize no one was chasing after her, she walked about a block and a half away, and hid in the bushes until my brother left. She then called me to complain and apologize about killing herself or whatever but then promptly walked home and ruined the rest of my night.

My older sister is a failure as an adult, a mother, and a woman, I think. She hates my lady over some hearsay nonsense. Never met her in person because I would never put Crystal in that position. She adores the 19 year old because of how “real” she is. The thing is, to me. the “real” they hold in so high regard is just common coonery. Straight ignorant tomfoolery and my older Sister’s ignorance is palpable. She’s a terrible judge in character. She’s a terrible decision maker. She’s infatuated with a ghetto lifestyle that is a direct detriment to her two children and refuses to actually apply herself for their sake. My older sister is who I think this the 19 year old is going to be when she gets to be 40. My sister is a spectacular chef. Classically trained. Brilliant in the kitchen. Her artistic skill set lent itself to food, mine, to a pen and a pad. My sister has won nationally televised competitions with her cooking. She won a legitimate head chef gig, at 33. Then she quit because they didn’t want to put her personal sh*t on the menu. The 19 year old has all of these big dreams and aspirations for holistic medicine, just like my sister had big dreams of owning her own restaurant. And just like my sister, she can’t get out of her own f*cking way to achieve them.

She stayed up all night, calling all of my brother’s friends, telling them how he “abuses” her and how he makes her want to die and how he didn’t care about her and how he abandoned her at her most vulnerable point to hang out with his friends literally because he wouldn’t stay to cuddle with her for five more minutes. After she spent the entire day with him. Because they had both taken stimulants and couldn’t sleep. Because my brother drugged her for sex. Also, he told her a week in advance he’d be going to this particular friend’s spot for the weekend because he’s a goddamn firefighter in training and this was the first leave he had in a month.

For some reason, this chick makes my brother happy and I want my brother happy. That being said, her existence annoys me. When she speaks to me, I cringe. I never want her around, ever. I understand, wholeheartedly, why none of his friends come around anymore. This chick is toxic and no one wants to get poisoned. My brother sees worth in her though. As long as that is a thing, I’ll tolerate this 19 year old mess. But, goddamn, is it hard. Seriously, how do you like someone who admitted they would throw away their life for the soul purpose of hurting someone you’d die for? Little brothers are essentially my sons. I raised them. I taught them how to walk. Their first words were my name. I taught them to write, helped with their homework, and protected them from the many pitfalls of our household to the best of my ability. Watching one of them (well, both of them) choose a women that flat out doesn’t deserve him is infuriating. Seriously, I’ve come to the conclusion that this chick doesn’t deserve to be loved. She doesn’t deserve to be happy. She deserves to die alone and miserable. Do I think she can become a person worthy of happiness? Sure. Do I think that she will? F*ck no. She’s too petty and immature to be happy.

Everything in bold happened in a 14 hour period. These are just the things that stood out. Literally what isn’t documented here is essentially nonsensical sobbing, constant tantrum throwing, and random spazz outs. For three full f*cking days. That first 14 was just the beginning. It got worse and literally encapsulated my entire weekend.

[smokeybrand]

Youth Culture

I’m 33. My brother is 26. Our father was a drug addict and our mother was in a decade long depression spiral. I essentially raised him. Still am, technically. My brother dates a 19 year old. She friended me on Facebook. That was a mistake. She posts so much, man. So much… And she thinks it’s so profound but she’s only 19. She doesn’t know a goddamn thing about life. Like, she’s depressed and suicidal and has social anxiety and whatever else there’s a pill for that the generation after mine takes to avoid problems or personal responsibility. Somehow, that makes her believe she’s far more progressive, more advanced, than her peers. This chick posts her entire life on Facebook. Every little thing that pops in her head, online. Memes, short stories, weird little nonsense arguments, arm chair activism, #Woke bullsh*t; all of those shenanigans children yell because they want to be heard and it’s all goddamn annoying. As a 30 year old watching this happen, watching her try and assert her immaturity as adulthood, I realize that we, as 19 year old, shouldn’t have a say in anything. The things she says are just regurgitated SJW narrative There’s no soul, no truth behind them Like, she posts sh*t specifically to troll Randoms or seeking validation. Her lack of self is both startling and sad to me. Mostly, it’s just frustrating because my brother is mad infatuated with this trainwreck.  

She once tried to convince me that my brother drugged her so she would stay up for sex, only to have him finish and fall asleep, leaving her alone and overstimulated. She had work that day. Apparently the plan was to go a full 24 hours on no sleep while working a 10pm to 2am shift at a busy bar/restaurant. She didn’t go to work that night. Or ever again. Because of the other things on this list.

When I first met her, I thought she was far more progressive than she is. Living with her for a few months, I believe she is a testament to her peer group, but she’s still a goddamn moron. Kid’s thrown literal tantrums about something someone said to her. She fought with my brother over breadsticks, eventually punching a whole in my wall over breadsticks. She lies constantly about circumstances to garner sympathy by perpetuating a personal victim narrative. She is willingly petty. She is knowingly reckless. She uses her mental illness as a pass for her sh*tty behavior. Nothing is ever her fault and she ducks personal responsibility like it’s the f*cking plague. Everything is always someone else’s fault or in the works or whatever but when I leave for work, she sleep on my floor and when I come home, she sleep on my floor. Chick defines herself through the relationships she has with men and then turns violent when they don’t reciprocate that dependency. And when I say violent, she threatens to kill herself in an effort to hurt said dick-of-the-moment. Or punches a hole in my wall. When I first met her, she seemed like an old soul, someone worth investing in. My engaging with you on an intellectual level is the highest compliment I can grant because no one except my wife is worth my time. If you earn an opportunity where I actually stop what i’m doing, actively listen to what you have to say, and engage in a proper conversation with you, congratulations. You’ve achieved a real feat. After three months of living with this chick, I realize she is a f*cking toddler pretending at being an adult. And pretending poorly. So poorly, in fact, I feel like I wasted my time even trying to know her.

She told me my brother demanded she kill herself and left poison on his dresser for her to do it.  She then commenced to spazz out for an hour until my brother came back to console her After I spazzed out on him for an hour because I’m not in the business of babysitting children throwing tantrums.

She and I use to have a relationship. I thought it was cordial and decent. We spoke at length about things I thought you speak about when you’re getting to know someone. I told her stuff I tell everyone. She apparently told me stuff that she never told anyone. At first, I would push her into divulging more because learned that talking helps. After a while, I stopped that because I didn’t care anymore. Now, I don’t even look at her as she talks at me. I understood she has no interest in getting better or growing as an adult. She just wants you to agree with her and carry on, even if the thing she wants you to okey0-doke is patently destructive. Like, she wants to be wanted, at all times, but all people, and can’t function when someone tells her no or to back off. My youngest brother, her boyfriend’s twin, can’t stand her. He calls her Yoko because she broke up the band. A friend of his use to come out from the bay, stay with us to work, and then go back. This chick moves in and he stays with someone else, about an hour away. A kid my brother has known since he was 12 use to crash at our spot after work before going to his second job. She apparently cussed dude out into tears. Haven’t seen him since. Her presence has essentially alienated my brother from all of his friends, from his family, from everyone. If they didn’t live in my house, I wouldn’t be around them either, not after her weekend meltdown where she told he she was going to kill herself specifically to hurt him. Like, I love Crystal. I love my chick. The thought of me doing anything to bring her pain is debilitating. This chick claims to love my brother in the same way. How can you even think of some sh*t like that? Why would that even be a situation worth considering, killing yourself to hurt the person you love? Suffice it to say, she grates on me now. Whenever she speaks to me, that’s all I hear and it disgusts me. She disgusts me.

When he came back to work through these issues, she wouldn’t talk to him, pretended to swallow all of her anti-depressants and ran off toward a bridge so she could jump off and die. When she looked back an realize no one was chasing after her, she walked about a block and a half away, and hid in the bushes until my brother left. She then called me to complain and apologize about killing herself or whatever but then promptly walked home and ruined the rest of my night.

My older sister is a failure as an adult, a mother, and a woman, I think. She hates my lady over some hearsay nonsense. Never met her in person because I would never put Crystal in that position. She adores the 19 year old because of how “real” she is. The thing is, to me. the “real” they hold in so high regard is just common coonery. Straight ignorant tomfoolery and my older Sister’s ignorance is palpable. She’s a terrible judge in character. She’s a terrible decision maker. She’s infatuated with a ghetto lifestyle that is a direct detriment to her two children and refuses to actually apply herself for their sake. My older sister is who I think this the 19 year old is going to be when she gets to be 40. My sister is a spectacular chef. Classically trained. Brilliant in the kitchen. Her artistic skill set lent itself to food, mine, to a pen and a pad. My sister has won nationally televised competitions with her cooking. She won a legitimate head chef gig, at 33. Then she quit because they didn’t want to put her personal sh*t on the menu. The 19 year old has all of these big dreams and aspirations for holistic medicine, just like my sister had big dreams of owning her own restaurant. And just like my sister, she can’t get out of her own f*cking way to achieve them.

She stayed up all night, calling all of my brother’s friends, telling them how he “abuses” her and how he makes her want to die and how he didn’t care about her and how he abandoned her at her most vulnerable point to hang out with his friends literally because he wouldn’t stay to cuddle with her for five more minutes. After she spent the entire day with him. Because they had both taken stimulants and couldn’t sleep. Because my brother drugged her for sex. Also, he told her a week in advance he’d be going to this particular friend’s spot for the weekend because he’s a goddamn firefighter in training and this was the first leave he had in a month.

For some reason, this chick makes my brother happy and I want my brother happy. That being said, her existence annoys me. When she speaks to me, I cringe. I never want her around, ever. I understand, wholeheartedly, why none of his friends come around anymore. This chick is toxic and no one wants to get poisoned. My brother sees worth in her though. As long as that is a thing, I’ll tolerate this 19 year old mess. But, goddamn, is it hard. Seriously, how do you like someone who admitted they would throw away their life for the soul purpose of hurting someone you’d die for? Little brothers are essentially my sons. I raised them. I taught them how to walk. Their first words were my name. I taught them to write, helped with their homework, and protected them from the many pitfalls of our household to the best of my ability. Watching one of them (well, both of them) choose a women that flat out doesn’t deserve him is infuriating. Seriously, I’ve come to the conclusion that this chick doesn’t deserve to be loved. She doesn’t deserve to be happy. She deserves to die alone and miserable. Do I think she can become a person worthy of happiness? Sure. Do I think that she will? F*ck no. She’s too petty and immature to be happy.

Everything in bold happened in a 14 hour period. These are just the things that stood out. Literally what isn’t documented here is essentially nonsensical sobbing, constant tantrum throwing, and random spazz outs. For three full f*cking days. That first 14 was just the beginning. It got worse and literally encapsulated my entire weekend.