#the word youre looking for is VAIN. vanity to cover a deep insecurity and mask his actual feelings

[dennisboobs]

we do a little ranting in the tags, as a treat.

[purge-that-urge-rhackathon]

Touchy

Commission prompt: Jackothy (though if you want to add Rhys I won’t complain 👀): After having his face scarred, Jack realizes the only way he can see and feel his own face again is if he goes to see Tim. The other doppelgängers use tech which isn’t the same, who knows what they look like underneath? And Tim is... oddly ok with that (not at first tho; Jack was annoying. Still is but it’s oddly charming now) He spent his whole life being overlooked, and Jack focused solely on him is intense... basically Timtam gets a little too heated when Jack looks at and touches his face. Tim thirsts.

This is the first part of the commission :D Subsequent parts on my ao3 here. My masterlist archive of bullshit i write can be found linked at the top of the blog or here.

--

Handsome Jack was many things.

A hero, in short, opener of vaults and defeater of monsters, and CEO of the most powerful company in the galaxy.

And the price of that power had been his face.

Sure, Jack tried to buy into his own propaganda as much as he expected his employees to, but he couldn’t really lie to himself, even if he desperately wanted to. The ironic fact that he’d fashioned himself a mask of his own face wasn’t lost on him, but denial was a powerful thing.

He was scarred, disfigured with an injury which refused any kind of correction be it medical, scientific, or bordering on alien technology. The mask had been the logical next-step to try to regain some semblance of what he’d lost, and for a time, the power and re-branding that came with seizing an empire for his own was a good distraction.

He’d tried. Oh how he’d tried.

Every day that he looked in the mirror, mask or no, it bothered him just a little bit more until he couldn’t just ignore it. The mask began to overwrite his memories of his true features, making him panic in need of removal, only to have his ruined, panicked face stare back at him from the bathroom mirror.

The mask functioned as his face, but it just wasn’t. And without it, he still didn’t look like himself; not as he truly remembered. The damage his face had sustained did more than just wound his vanity. The deep fissure of old scar tissue bothered him sometimes if he stubbornly left the mask on for too long, and without that technologically-superior second-skin, he was almost totally blind in his left eye. Forgetting his face made him fear he was forgetting himself, and Handsome Jack the CEO of Hyperion wasn’t afraid of anything.

The logical next-step to quell the fear of ignominy was quite clear.

“Rhysie?” Jack spoke up, startling his personal assistant from whatever he’d been doing at his desk as he looked at the younger man. “Call up Timothy for me, would ya kitten? It’s about time for a quality-check. Make sure he’s still on-brand. And by on-brand, I mean me. Heh, get it? Because he’s me; Mr. Hyperion.”

Rhys gave Jack a depreciating moue. “If you’re going to say something about him being on you, or you being on me, or vice-versa, don’t bother. You’ve made that joke before,” Rhys snarked back, the snort Jack gave making the PA grin despite himself. “Get some new material, first.”

“Look at you, thinkin’ you’ve got me figured out,” Jack teased. “What color underwear am I wearing today, cupcake?”

“I’m surprised you even know about underwear, Jack.”

Two for two. It made the CEO genuinely grin.

Rhys was a good little assistant. Even if his creepy fanboy-gazes had eventually stopped after a few months of working for him, he still blushed when Jack brazenly flirted with him, though the older man never took it too far. Rhys was efficient, and despite Jack’s teasing, he did know the older man better than any past secretary or other idiot that couldn’t carry out Jack’s iron will the way he wanted.

Jack had gone through… a lot of personal assistants. The ones that had nervous breakdowns were one thing. The incompetant ones he certainly didn’t miss, but a couple had at least been amusing until Jack had had to airlock them.

And then came Rhys. The younger man wasn’t just good at his job, but he was one of a very few people to act normal around the older man despite his obvious hero-worship; to tease him back and roll his eyes at Jack’s too-sweet coffee-orders, and laugh at his dirty jokes, or come right back with ones to challenge them.

Jack knew it said a lot about him that he enjoyed an (ex)-creepy fanboy as the one to handle the personal details of his day, but he also felt just a little bolstered by the fact that Rhys still flushed pink sometimes over some of his more creative innuendos, despite the back-talk and rolled eyes. It reminded him that even after years of wearing the mask-- of no one seeing his true face- that he could still make a pretty, leggy PA blush. Despite the fact his face wasn’t exactly a face.

He was insecure. He was vain.

He knew he was vain, but the choice to rebrand himself after the branding-incident was wrought from insecurity above anything else, and he lied to himself about that as well. He changed his name to reflect what he wanted to believe: Handsome Jack. That he came into this world good-looking-- and so help him god- he wouldn’t let current-circumstances let anyone forget that fact.

Reminding himself, however, was where Tim came in.

“Tim is still on Elpis finishing that… thing,” Rhys informed with a slight, distasteful raise of his pouty lips. “When did you want me to set it up?”

“That thing,” Jack began, ignoring Rhys’ question to grin a little, “is going to make me even more stinkin’ rich than I already am, kiddo.” Rhys gave him a further-displeased look. “Oh come on, you liked the idea of eternal youth.”

“Spreading some Shuggurath-derived wrinkle cream on your face isn’t the same thing as eternal youth, Jack.”

The CEO didn’t miss a beat, and didn’t allow himself to dwell on the subtext Rhys didn’t even know he was on to. “It won’t just be the face, kitten. My scientists are gonna make it work on everything.” The regenerative-properties the creatures had were promising, according to the eggheads in R&D. Jack shot him a smirk. “Balls, too.”

“Gross.”

“What, you some too-good-for-nice-smooth-balls type?” Jack gave an exaggerated look over his desk. “You?”

Rhys put his face in his flesh hand. “I’m more disturbed by the fact you’ve got Tim out there milking them, Jack.”

“I was just being nice saying that.” Jack’s grin grew. “He’s not milking them for the compound so much as--”

“Aaaaand file that under things I definitely do not need to know about before lunch,” Rhys quickly interrupted, ignoring the older man’s grin and murmuring about ‘protein’ strands and regenerative ‘slimes’. “When do you want me to have him come up once it’s done?”

Jack knew exactly when he wanted Tim here: after-hours in private once Rhys had already left for the day.

He needed this. He needed it badly and couldn’t hold off any longer.

It had been over a month since Jack’s last ‘quality check’, and while Tim submitted to them without issue, too many not-between-missions-checks might raise the double’s suspicions as to what Jack was really doing. Looking at photos of the double were one thing (and good to help him hold out against the fear of losing himself in his mind’s eye), but it wasn’t the same as touching the planes of your ‘own’ face.

Good thing Tim was on a relatively-safe job collecting samples from the otherwise-dangerous creatures; Jack would be able to look and feel to his heart’s content under the guise of genuine quality-control when he knew there wasn’t a threat at all.

“That job’s almost finished though, right?” Jack asked conversationally. “Day after tomorrow? Did Timtams send you an update?”

Rhys’ lips pulled thin. “Yes. And he sent pictures, too.” Pictures Rhys honestly didn’t need to see, though Tim’s comments on each one were funny at least. The one the annoyed-double had sent of himself covered in… Well, Rhys wasn’t sure Shugguraths had entrails, but the caption of ‘Hyperion Beauty Cream coming to a store near you!’ made the image amusing at least.

It was still a gross assignment though.

Jack grinned at Rhys’ sour look. “Heh, neat. Send those to my comm, wouldja sugarplum?”

“If you have nightmares, it’s not my fault,” Rhys warned as he did as Jack asked. “There. Sent. Ew.”

“You could always send me some nicer pictures to give me sweet dreams, Rhysie,” Jack purred, teasing a bit even as his heart rate spiked at his PA’s words. Rhys just rolled his eyes with a little blush and a muttered “buy me dinner first” which made Jack relax a bit through a smirk.

There was no way Rhys could know what was going on in Jack’s head-- his words were coincidence was all, and Jack knew he was getting paranoid again- but the promise of his double’s return from Elpis was a relief that kept his worries carefully contained.

No one knew what was going on in his head. No one knew that Handsome Jack-- most powerful man in the whole goddamn galaxy who put the word ‘handsome’ into his own name- suffered from poor self-image. And no one would, as far as Jack could help it.

Hell, no one would believe that at any rate, either, which Jack was immensely grateful to his PR team about.

He was just tired. Stressed. Seeing Tim would help matters. Feeling him would help a lot more.

The taunting nightmares were keeping him from restful sleep; looking into a dream-mirror to pull off his mask only for nothing to be beneath it but a horrifying blankness, and in the dream (and sometimes still once awake) Jack really couldn’t recall what his face had once looked like. Putting his actual hands on his double would soothe his psyche a great deal, the tactile-sensation further embedding the shape and feel and perfection of Tim’s own face back into Jack’s subconscious.

Rhys set up the meeting, and now all Jack had to do was wait.

--

It hadn’t been easy to not watch the clock, or to keep his foot from tapping anxiously under his desk days later, but once Rhys had packed up-- asking multiple times if Jack would like him to stay- the CEO was pacing the space behind his big desk waiting for Tim’s return.

Elpis loomed outside the large window, it’s pink glimmer lending an ethereal-quality to Jack’s office as Rhys got the main-lights as he’d left. Only the light on Jack’s desk remained on, the rest of the office bathed in Elpis’ glow. To think he’d once wanted to crack the proto-planet like egg, only for it to be key to his recovery.

The Shuggurath research was extremely promising. That the creatures could generate other creatures-- not that Rathyds were particularly useful themselves; moon-Rakks, Jack called them- lead down some very interesting paths.

Rathyds shared a few qualities with the Shuggaraths that spawned them, but genetically they were different creatures. Shuggaraths bred just like anything else to create more Shuggaraths, but the fact they were capable of creating a second, unique animal held implications which got Jack very excited indeed.

The skin that was scarred by Eridian-technology refused any attempts to change it, while minor nicks and cuts that Jack got while shaving around the thing healed back up just fine. By his own observations (and tests several techs did before he airlocked them for what they saw) his normal skin was fine and unaffected by the depth of the brand, while the scar itself was… different.

Genetically different, but still a part of him.

Jack believed that the weird moon-dwelling animals were key to healing his face. Whatever protein or enzyme or slimey bits that they contained might be able to rewrite the damaged cells and reverse the scarring, or at the very least, minimize it to not need the mask anymore. The ugly, bulbous creatures created much more elegantly-designed animals somehow, and if that was possible, then maybe it could be applied to himself as well.

He could be normal again. Be handsome again, without the necessary moniker.

Until that happened though, Jack had Tim to get by, and he was antsy as ever to see the younger man.

“Did you forget to pay the power bill?”

Jack spun around on his heel, a grin on his face even though he’d been taken by surprise from hopeful, antsy thoughts. “Timmy! There’s my favorite double! Flip ‘em back on, wouldja kiddo?”

Tim rolled his eyes, but he had a smile on his face as he did just that, and crossed the office towards Jack’s desk. His mission had gone well, and he’d brought back more than enough samples to last quite some time. The confidence he felt over it was all over his face; especially from the lack of injury he’d come back with this time. “I think you’re gonna be impressed.”

“That so?” Jack said with a raise of his brow, impatience over wanting to get his hands on the other man’s face kept carefully tramped down. “How’s that gorgeous face, kiddo?”

“I’m more worried about my jacket,” Tim responded with a sour look. There had been… a lot of slime. “Did Rhys show you the pictures?”

“Not the ones I wanted to see,” Jack said with an implicit smirk, forcing himself to walk slowly towards the double as Tim climbed the steps to the dais Jack’s desk was on. His eagerness wasn’t something he wanted to showcase.

“Of Rhys, or of me?” Tim joked right back, grinning at Jack’s surprised bark of laughter.

“Cute, Timtam. Real cute.” Tim smirked unapologetically, and Jack knew well the mischievous look on the double’s face. So Tim was in a playful mood, then. The mission must’ve gone very well indeed. That was beyond excellent. “You feel free to send me whatever pics you feel like, handsome. I’m a big fan of close-ups.” The smile on Jack’s face was genuine, even if he was dying to get his hands on the body double. “Remind me to give you a raise, too.”

“Add that to the extra vacation days you also said you’d give me.”

Jack grinned as they stood before one-another. Tim was giving him a doubtful, accusing tilt of the head, and Jack’s fingers itched so badly to rove over Tim’s face that he didn’t even bother teasing the younger man. “I did say that, didn’t I?” He raised his hands to Tim’s face, the double patiently waiting for Jack to remove the mask himself. It was something the older man insisted upon-- part of the nightmare he badly needed to address- to remove the mask and find no damage beneath. “Echo Rhysie about it. Now let’s see that gorgeous face.”

Jack tried to keep his fingers steady as he reached for the double’s face, and Tim waited far more eagerly than he wanted to appear.

Tim didn’t necessarily care for these ‘brand-checks’ at first. Jack already demanded most of his time, and what little free time he did have, he didn’t want to waste on his boss making sure he still “looked right”.

Pfft, as if Tim wasn’t a professional.

Tim wasn’t exactly vain himself, but he did take pride in his acting skills, and no one was a better Jack than him. That was just a fact. Because there were no other Jacks like him. None who’d undergone extensive plastic surgery, modulator-implants, and actually fought side-by-side with the CEO before he was the CEO. Tim might not have been much pre-surgery, but Jack had seen his potential, and Tim had risen to all expectations. And he was proud of that.

None of the other doubles knew Jack the way Tim did, either, not to mention actually looked like him. The others used tech which was fully reversible. What he did was an art, regardless of his personal feelings on the matter.

So needing to be checked if he was ‘on-brand’ was insulting to his professionalism at first, and annoying at best, even if it was always the same. Jack’s scrutiny had made him uncomfortable, as if Tim could lose everything he’d managed to gain after being overlooked for so long in his life. And Tim hadn’t liked it.

He liked it now.

Jack had nice hands. He’d know. It wasn’t an awful thing to be so casually handled by him, and regardless of how long he’d known Jack now, the intense focus of such a powerful man always got his heart beating just a bit faster.

Jack’s hands were expert in the removal of Tim’s own mask, the CEO undoing the clasps before setting the material down on his desk. His attention came back to Tim, and at that moment the double watched him carefully for the change that would occur in the older man during the reveal.

Jack was… different during these checks, but not necessarily in a bad way.

He always took a moment after the mask was fully removed-- eyes darting about Tim’s face as if to check that everything was still there- before a sort of almost relief settled into the older man’s eyes. And then came Tim’s favorite part: the quirk of Jack’s lips as the man cupped both his cheeks in his large, warm hands, and firmly brushed his thumbs over Tim’s cheeks.

Tim used to blush heavily when Jack had first started demanding these checks. The intensity of the CEO’s focus had made poor Tim go entirely red in the face, and he had trouble meeting Jack’s eyes the first few times. Jack’s hands were always surprisingly gentle if not firm on him, the inspection a lot more like a full face massage than anything else. The touches and traces of fingers and thumbs over the bridge of his nose, under his left eye, the bottom of his cheeks, all made Tim want.

They hadn’t at first, though. Tim was observant, and the simple fact alone that Jack wanted to inspect under the mask-- where no one else ever saw anyways so what would it matter if he had some blemish or something?- made him think.

Tim wondered sometimes if Jack ever forgot that he knew what the CEO really looked like under the mask, or if he thought Tim might be repelled by it, and thus hid what Tim suspected were the true reasons for checking. The double had his own suspicions on what Jack was really doing.

He’d been there when Jack had been branded. It made an impression on him for multiple reasons: the way Jack handled the pain; the visceral reaction to seeing-- essentially- himself be branded, skin ruined and blistered. The way Jack was still somehow strong after the fact and overcame it all. Yeah, Tim had changed his entire being into someone else, but it had been more or less voluntary, and wholly expected. What Jack went through…

Well.

Tim had been there for it and he still couldn’t imagine going through that himself. Not without totally breaking. Him and Jack maybe butted heads sometimes but he admired the hell out of the older man, and even a bit more than that.

It was part of the reason he submitted to these examinations. There was something pitiful and desperate and utterly human in the way Jack’s thumbs sometimes slid up his cheekbones, palms sliding down to turn his chin this way and that between his big hands. Jack might’ve poked fun about telling him not to break Jack’s investment in ‘his’ face, but there was something a little too real behind his concern. It made Tim ache for the Jack he knew right before the man was betrayed. He knew what the scarring looked like, but such superficial things, ironically, didn’t matter to the double.

Tim tilted his head as Jack’s thumb slid down the side of his neck, hoping the older man wouldn’t register the hard thump of his heart, and then Jack breathed out in clear relief before letting Tim go. He tried to hide his disappointment that it was over already.

Tim’s voice wasn’t as confident as he would’ve preferred, but he kept the excited tremor from it, at least. “Everything still in one piece?” he joked as Jack looked at him a few moments more.

The CEO raised a brow, cocky-smile back in place. “Why, got something more interesting to show me, Timtam?” He waggled his brows in what was clear tease as Tim rolled his eyes.

“I only got a little electrocuted, and nowhere interesting,” the double replied.

Jack didn’t miss the slight pinkness to Tim’s actual cheeks (the sight was going to be in his dreams tonight for its rareness, that much he was certain) but the older man didn’t comment on it. “Interesting for you, or interesting for me?” He gave the double a wink.

Tim felt his heart thump hard in his chest, deciding to play a little with the older man in lieu of getting to truly indulge; Jack flirted with everyone. It didn’t mean it was real, or that he meant it. Tim still liked it, though. “I’m not stripping to let you find out. It’s cold in here.”

Jack snorted and retrieved the mask from his desk. “You can always send me pictures. Don’t forget about that!” Jack handed the mask back to Tim. He never liked putting the mask back on the double himself, and Tim never questioned it. It was something he preferred to watch Tim do; something his subconscious would have to reconcile as an active choice to cover his unharmed face.

“There would have to be pictures for me to even send,” Tim muttered as he put things back in place.

“I like your thinking, pumpkin! Let me know if you need any inspiration.”

Tim snorted but left on his way as Jack shooed him out.

The CEO collapsed into his chair once the office was again left in Elpis’ pink glow. He felt more relaxed than he had all month, and with the relief of Tim’s visit finally washed over him, he knew he was going to get a very good night’s sleep indeed.

He wasn’t even mad that he didn’t have any dirty dreams that night, instead happy to sleep like the dead.

He’d need to take advantage of all the rest he could get now, before the shame of his true face caught back up to him again.

--

Chapter 2 will be found at my ao3 :)

kofi | ao3 | commission ‘info’